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Published on Feb 19, 2008
Parody written by Helen Austin and performed at Voices Three 2007, a concert that raised $3000 for Hospice.
I have had several requests for lyrics...so here they are and thanks to all for watching!!
You've bags under your eyes You've got boobs to your knees Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit He still wants sex while you feel like shit He begs for this favour not long after labour It's like eating a meal after you've just been sick
And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants To this I say that they're a bunch of lalalalalalala
You bastard you cocked up it's you got me knocked up Just cos you want me to have bigger tits You're pleading, you're pining Oh please stop your whining You're not getting sex 'til the kid's 26
You say you want another child, another pregnancy When you can poo a watermelon I'll agree
I could have been someone if you just hadn't come (along) If I hadn't been so drunk and I'd said maybe We'd be going out and stuff, now there's foreceps up my chuff Pulling the head of a screaming 10lb baby
And the mums on Hornby Island* say keep breast feeding 'til they're four If I do I won't have nipples anymore
And all the doctors told me that I'd need a stitch or ten I say sew me up so I can't do this again.
*an island nearby with a reputation for being very wholesome!