 Now I feel like I'm closer to understanding how and why he is the person he is, kind of how people come to be this way. Part of it is just them. Part of it, like Holly said, this is a choice. This is a choice. People choose to be gross and awful sometimes, but part of it is the culture. In Illimation's most recent video, she said she had a better understanding of what her abusive ex-boyfriend Harris was thinking and doing and all of that. So in this video, we're going to see what lessons we can learn from this to help you overcome some of your previous trauma. What is up, everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. And what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that, be sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and I've done recaps of all of Illimation's videos. And guess what? I have some very exciting news. Yesterday, I was tagged in a tweet by none other than herself, but Illi. And it says, please check out this whole series along with more of the Rewired Soul's content. He explains things so much further than how I could have in my videos. Heck, he's hitting on things. I didn't even know we're there. Amazing work. Thank you so much. Thank you, Illi. She's awesome. We actually talked a little bit in DM too. But yeah, it's so great like when, you know, the YouTuber who's referenced in my video, like, I always say like, I'm not making videos for the YouTubers. I never expect them to see it. I just use some of the things that are going on in their videos as context for you. So you have a better understanding of what you might be dealing with as well. But when somebody like Illi actually sees it and they like it and appreciate it and think it like, hmm, that is great. That helps validate what I'm doing a little bit of my imposter syndrome. All right. But anyways, Illi's tweet leads me into my next subject. So one of the videos I did, the truth about Illimation, it's been blowing up. It has like over 120,000 views as a time of recording those videos. And something that is absolutely amazing to me. Absolutely amazing is how many people in the comments are coming in there and thinking that I am Harris. Like, did any of you see this part of Illi's video? This kid was thinner than a string bean. Mother Trucker had a BMI of two, maybe. And look, I talk a lot of for someone who can barely hold a gallon of milk. But when you come into my life and make me feel body conscious, you better be buffing the miss a clean with that attitude. Like, I don't know if you got the memo, but I'm a little bit on the chunky side. All right. Now I feel like I'm closer to understanding how and why he is the person he is, kind of how people come to be this way. So yeah, based on that last clip, I want to talk about this because this is something that we need to discuss when it comes to healing our mental health, overcoming the past, especially when it comes to trauma. But this is also going to be very helpful for any of you who struggle with anxiety. All right. So our brains have this natural need, right? This natural need to create a story to help us understand the world. That is why our brain is going a million miles a minute. So there's a part of your brain towards the back up back here. It's called the posterior cingulate cortex. All right. This is when I tell you guys about being selfish and self centered, this part of the brain is responsible for that. But it also creates the stories about your life, right? It helps us make sense. And it links up with your memories as well as your, you know, fight, fight a freeze response and all of that. So we have this natural need to want to understand what happened to us. So when Ily's talking about how she had a better understanding of this, this is very therapeutic. All right. Now I'm going to talk about the other side of this later in the video. So make sure that you stay tuned. But yeah, this is one of the reasons why I tell you guys to journal, write stuff down. Okay. Like journaling is extremely, extremely important, whether it's just like a mood journal or just keeping track of what happened in your day. Like you need to be doing this. Like it will help your brain begin to calm down, chill and proceed with life when you start to have a better story of what happened and you make sense of this. But in Ily's situation, talking with Holly was very helpful to her, right? Like having somebody who went through a similar experience, you know, and with this, it was the exact same abuser, right? But just this is why I talk about being part of a support group and talking to other people. Like when you talk to other people who have been through this before, it will also help your brain process these things and make more sense of it. But lastly, one of the best things that you can do is work with a freaking therapist. All right. This is why we call it processing when you're working with a therapist because it's helping your brain process these things that you went through. It helps you make sense of these things because when our brain doesn't understand what happened and can't have any logical sense of the scenario, it's all scattered and just think about just your brain just bouncing all over the place. So when you have some kind of, you know, a story to go behind it, this will help you overcome your trauma. Now, part of that therapeutic process is learning how to let it go. Okay. So that is another huge thing and working with somebody can definitely help you out with that. But the other thing I want to talk about too before I move on to the next topic is this is extremely important for all of you parents out there. All right. There's an excellent book that I'll link down in the description and it's called the Yes Brain Child. Okay. From one of my favorite neuroscientists, Dr. Daniel Siegel. But part of it is they talk about when your child is very upset or anxious or scared or worried or whatever it is, help them create a story. This is one of the reasons why kids freak out because when they have such young adaptive minds, like they're trying to make sense of this world. So when you tell kids to just like forget about it or leave it alone or whatever, like this is actually messing up their mental health and it can screw them up later on as an adult too. So sit down with your child and ask them to tell you the story. Okay. Because those of you who are parents out there, kids perceive things oftentimes in a much different way than they actually are. Heck, if I'm being honest, a lot of adults do that. One of my favorite responses to the comments is that's an interesting perspective, right? Because our mental filters are screwed up. But when you're a kid, especially when your imagination's running all wild and you don't understand the world, like your mental filter is just creating all sorts of crazy scenarios. So that's why it's our job as parents to sit down with our kids, ask them questions, say, okay, what happened? How did this happen? How did it make you feel? But again, this entire book, the Yes Brain Child is an excellent book. You should definitely check it out if you're a parent. So the last thing I want to talk about with this is trying to figure out what this other person was thinking. Now in the context of Elise's situation, you know, it's difficult. It is difficult. I'm going to talk about that in a second. But I just want to go on a topic that I know all of you can relate to. So many of us drive ourselves insane trying to figure out what other people are thinking, right? Like for example, if you have social anxiety, that is something that's driving you nuts, trying to figure out like do they like me? Do they think I'm stupid? Do I think I'm attractive? All these things that run through our heads a million miles a minute. But the other thing that really messes us up is when we're trying to ask ourselves what their motives, what were they doing behind this? Like I can definitely relate to that. I would sit and obsess sometimes I couldn't sleep at night trying to figure out what is this person thinking, right? What was going through their head? How do they feel about me? What do they think about me, right? And like I'm saying, that will drive you absolutely bananas. So like if you're in an Elise situation, I think the best thing you could do is be mindful. Like in every situation she's saying it helped her get a little bit more closure to understand a little bit more and all that. But if you find that it's causing more damage in your life, more chaos, more anxiety, more stress, bringing up past traumas, like what you need to do is start working on letting it go and understanding that you're never going to be able to read people's minds. Now, if I were to guess just being in the mental health field, learning a lot about the brain and trauma and all these other things, if I were to go inside the mind of Harris and assume things, right? Not knowing the guy, never meeting him. And I hope this helps any of you who have been the victim of whether it was, you know, emotional, physical, sexual abuse. Like there's a few things that are usually going on. One is that other person is dealing with their own mental illness. Now, again, this is in no way, in no way shape or form and excuse for any behavior. But I want you to understand there's a reason like you got to think about it. Some of the sickest, most twisted people in the world, they're struggling with some kind of mental illness. Like that's just the way it is. Now, the other thing is, is that many, many abusers are also the victims of abuse as well, right? But the last thing is, and in this scenario specifically with elimination, because I see this so much with young people like you guys, young jerks, young abusers turn into old abusers. Now, kids turn into who they're going to become. A lot of it is based on parenting. So like, we're always looking at who to blame, and I don't like even using that word blame, but so much of this comes down to parenting. Like when I'm watching Illy Mation's videos, and like when I was seeing this and seeing how young Illy was, and seeing that this guy Harris like lived with his family, I'm like, how did his family not seeing it see any red flags that this kid might be messed up, right? Like, there are definitely signs like this kind of thing doesn't go unnoticed. This is why I make so many videos and like I made a video about Tanimojo, but like the thing I'm trying to convey to all of you is don't be surprised. Like don't be surprised when certain things happen. Like I know parents who are clearly seeing the signs that their kid is probably going to turn up into a messed up teenager, which is then going to turn up into a messed up adult, but they're in complete denial of it, right? So like as parents, as parents, we have to be monitoring this stuff. We have to know what are healthy and unhealthy behaviors from our children, right? Because like there, I can't, I can't imagine in a world in any universe where my son was doing these types of things and I would not have any type of inkling that he's a little bit messed up in the head, right? Like when I look at somebody like Harris, like, and I see these like, you know, the extreme emotions, the threats of suicide and all these other things, like there's no way that that is just limited to speaking with, you know, women, right? I'm sure his family has seen these things too. So this is one of the reasons why I have this channel is to increase awareness and I get some like pushback on some of my videos, even though I always say that I'm not diagnosing anybody, I just want to teach you what symptoms look like. Like it is important that we know what certain symptoms look like so we can either A, get help for ourselves or B, help someone we know get help so they don't end up hurting themselves or others, all right? But anyways, anyways, I want to hear from all of you has, has processing things, whether it's journaling, working with a therapist, has any of that and helping create a story, has that helped you overcome some of the issues from your past. Let's have a conversation down below, all right? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. We got some more new names up there and I got some really exciting stuff coming up for Patreon in the new year. So make sure that you sign up down below if you haven't yet, all right? Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.