 2-5-4 2-5-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4 After that time, what kind of title would I have for that book and that came and I was like that's perfect because it's basically, as you've read, it's basically about teaching people how to make lemon need out of all the lemons that life throws at them. Okay, did you have any fears probably getting to share certain things you've talked about in the book how you had to deal with the body shaming? You've talked about how sometimes you didn't feel beautiful enough, you've talked about having a very difficult relationship with your mum because there are certain things beads that you could not understand. Did you have fears to open yourself to all these while writing this book? I mean the world is a cruel place. Every single day as I was writing that book I kept asking myself I may really ready to put my story out there. I may ready for all that will come with it. Like the negative side, the negative criticism, the positive criticism... I wasn't sure I was ready for that. But there was this inner feeling that kept gnaging me forward and just kept telling me. You know what it's? This is a time. If you don't speak about this, So it got to a point where I thought, so many people have done it before, I want to be the first one, there's nothing new under the sun. So sharing my story, so you would change someone's life out there, so why should I keep it to myself? So every day as I was very scared of doing it, but the thing that kept me moving forward was the fact that people have done it before and they're still fine. Once you share your story, you get to discover that many people going through the same thing you went through and they don't even know who they can speak to about that particular issue. You've talked about the struggles that you had with self-esteem and I would like to quote on page three of your books, there's a point where you talk about, I began to realize that I had developed certain habits that I hated about myself. Everyone knew me as a happy go, like a kind of girl who would laugh at anything like literally almost laughing at birds chirping and mosquitoes flying. But at this same paragraph you get to talk about how you dealt with things that people did not know because all they can see is a very happy person which is something that happens in the world that we live in today. We find people, we meet someone along the streets, they are all happy and all jovey, but deep inside they are really struggling with something. So how did you manage to deal, to really bring yourself and build yourself and probably create a different perception for yourself? Father along in the book you get to see a point where I was speaking about the victim mentality. So for me at this particular point I didn't really understand exactly what was going on in my mind and in my heart. I just knew that sometimes I'm very happy, I'm laughing with everyone, that person who would, you know, the life of the party. But behind closed doors there are certain things I was fighting that I didn't even know existed. So as I grew up, as the older I grew, I got to understand, I got to put a name on the issue I had and I got to realize I probably am struggling with the victim mentality and it's basically that point whereby you tend to feel like everything wrong is happening in your life. Like when something wrong is happening, you're always like, why is it always me? Why doesn't it choose anyone else? So the moment I go to discover and put a name on that issue is the moment I found my healing. Because I can't say I talked to a therapist, it wasn't a therapist, it was all issues that I was facing on my own that even my own mum didn't know about. So it was all a journey of discovery, it was all a journey of understanding, okay fine, there's a name to this thing and once you have a name to this particular issue you're facing, it becomes very easy for you to get a solution to it. So once I understood this is victim mentality, then I was at the point whereby I wanted to find out how can I get past it. So after I found a solution for it and I discovered the first step towards healing is always acceptance. So for me I can say the moment I realized, okay fine, there's an issue I'm battling and this issue has a name. So once I was in that phase of acceptance, I can say that's where my healing and my breakthrough came through. Okay, so in this book Sharon gets to talk about how she lost her father at a very young age, the struggles of how probably in school she could see people have very nice relationships with their dads, she could hear people talk about how their dads treat them and all that and you've really talked about that and this is the one thing that's really inspired you and pushed you to write this book. So while growing up and being brought up by a single mother, how did it losing your dad, sorry for that, how did that impact you? How did that impact your life, some of the decisions that you were able to make? First time I must admit that for a very long time as a young child I didn't understand what losing a dad meant until I got to a point whereby I was in primary school and I realized actually parents are bringing their children to school I can see dads and their daughters and I was wondering okay I have my mum and she's amazing but where did my dad go? So for very long I never really even thought about it until that point whereby my friends would speak about their dads and how they love their dads and then that's when I started asking my mum the hard question. So where is my dad, where did I come from? So growing up without a dad has been a very interesting journey. It's been a journey as I've said in the book of Rebellion. I point whereby I never understood exactly why my mum is so strict with me, why is she always in my case, anytime I want to just leave her little, she's all about you know, guarding me so selfishly until that point when I realized that bringing a child up on your own is not an easy thing especially as a woman who is raising a daughter. You see most of the time people say that my dad is my first love, he protects the daughter, he is always ensuring that the daughters never lack anything but you see as a mum it was until that point I realized that she's going through a lot on her own for me to get to understand exactly my role in the relationship. So it was quite a journey, there were moments whereby we were best of friends like everyone would ask us, I'd like to have a relationship like the one you have with your mum and there were moments where I never even wanted to see her because I'm just wondering can't she let me just leave her little. All along what she was doing was just out of love, she was ensuring that I am protected, I am safe and I never lack anything but the younger you are the less you understand the struggles that she goes through. So it's been an interesting journey but the closer I get to her because I get to see the from her eyes you understand I get to understand her and the struggles she faced and why she was the way she was and once I was passed the rebellion stage, me and her are best friends. Which is a very good process at time for you On page 38 of your book you get to say that at one point in my life I felt as though she was a dictator for people watching us tonight, her single mother watching us tonight a young man, a young lady being brought up by a single mother How do you think for you because at this point now you are able to rebuild your relationship you and your mother have the best relationship based on what is written on your book and also what you have gotten to share What do you think people watching us tonight and probably this could be the experience How can they now be able to build better relationships How can there be better understanding and for the child and their mother not to feel like one of them is being selfish I think you've said it, it's all about understanding the moment you get to understand someone else's shoes the moment you get to understand where they are coming from then I think everything will be sold I think communication is the first solution to any problem we face in this world that's my strong belief as long as you can be able to communicate your issues like anytime you have an issue with your parent anytime you have an issue with anyone it's all about you trying to make them understand your perspective and making you understand their perspective so once you are at a level ground then everything will work out that's why we had that strange relationship because I wanted her to understand where I'm coming from I wanted her to understand that I also get moments whereby I'm lonely I get moments whereby I compare myself with other people I get moments whereby I have low self esteem and she also wanted me to understand her journey as a single mum the struggles she's faced and why she behaves the way she does however we never had that common ground of understanding whereby we can speak out our problems openly get vulnerable with each other and share out exactly where we are the way we are as long as you do not have that level ground I think nothing will ever work out none of your relationship will ever work out because every human being is selfish and every human being wants their own point of view to be understood so I think that's the solution to be honest it's all about communication and understanding as long as those two are out of the equation then there'll never be peace in any of your relationships so the bottom line here for those relationships to become better is having been on the same crowd and probably even putting yourself in the shoes probably to try and experience what the other person is going through so you've talked about body shaming you've talked about bullying these are experiences that you talked you shared that you went through during your primary education so how did you, how are you able to literally come through that because sometimes people don't often talk about body shaming they'll just have certain things that you're dealing with from the inside which could cause them damage but for you, how are you able to literally in the midst of all the challenges that you are going through how are you able to make sure that you came out of these victorious I mean to be honest that's one of the darkest moments in my life there's nothing as bad as being your own enemy and struggling with self-esteem issues struggling with body shaming issues that's the moment you get to discover you have to be your greatest year leader and for me it was so bad for me because I was struggling with these things when I was so young I wasn't even 50 I wasn't even a teenager yet so you can imagine when other kids are teasing you because of your body they're saying how fat you are they're calling you all sorts of names the way it can get to a child as a child you're supposed to be this happy gulaki person but at the end of the day every time you get back home all you can tell your parents' eyes you know what so and so said this about me and I'm feeling so sad so for me to be honest where I got to get past this point was when I realized you know all of us are struggling with some things that we don't even speak about like you look at a person and you'll think their life is going perfectly but when they speak to you about the struggles they're facing the way they don't like their nose the way they don't like their legs and every single person has a certain duty but they don't like them themselves so for me the moment I got to realize that you know what these people who are body shaming me these people who are bullying me it's because it's coming from a point of insecurity from themselves heart in their own life so that moment made me understand anytime someone would call me names I'd be like that's your own problem to deal with that's not my problem so if you think I'm fat then I'm sorry because that's your own issue if you think I'm this if you think I'm too tall if you think I'm too short it's not about me it's about you so it means it's something that you should work on before you start bringing it out on everyone else so that's my breakthrough as long as I understood that you know what we all struggle with this body shaming issues we all have a body part that we don't like and we all have certain issues that nobody else knows about so that made me understand anytime anyone is talking badly at you anytime anyone is calling you names it's not about you it's about them okay so we have around 5 minutes left the turning point from your book your turning point was when you gave your life to Christ so I would like you to tell us very briefly how did this now change your perception about how you viewed life about how you viewed challenges how did now giving your life to Christ which you talk about as your turning point really impact now every challenge that you were dealing with okay so for me one of my favorite bible verses is Sam's chapter 46 verse 5 and it says if God is within her she will not fall he will help her at the break of day I think that bible verse encompasses everything as long as you have God within you as long as God is on your side you will always believe in yourself because in his word there are so many promises of how he loves you how he'll never leave you he'll never forsake you no matter what you go through he's always on your side so for me as long as I understood the kind of love he has for me even the struggle I had was not having an athlete father slowly started to fade away the moments where I asked God I wish I had that kind of fatherly love from an athlete father but the moment I understood the kind of love he has for me everything changed the moment I understood the way he loves me the way when he's on my side I can never fail everything changed so for me that's what I would say as long as God is on your side as long as God is on your team then you're always on the winning team as we now come to the end of this discussion what you were writing in this book I'm sure there were a lot of emotions but I'm also sure that there's something that you were able to learn about yourself so what is that one thing that you really learnt about yourself during this journey as you were writing this book and you were like wow I didn't know Sharon could do that but now because of this experience I really know there are actually three things resilience no matter what life throws at you you can make something out of yourself so no matter whatever it is you have in your heart whatever talent you have as long as you're resilient you can make it the other thing was ambition but I am a very ambitious young girl I knew this since way back but writing this book just reminded me that no matter what keep following your dreams keep chasing your dreams and at the end of the day you're going to be able to make it through but in shots to young people watching us tonight I'll just tell you keep moving if you can't run walk fast if you can't walk fast crawl if you can't crawl do whatever but at the end of the day just keep moving so you've heard what Sharon has said and this is the book as Sharon tells us probably where we can get this book for someone who's watching us tonight and they would like probably to experience what I have where can they get this book at the moment I'm doing send copies so you can order it from my social media pages at Sharon Googie you can DM me you can send me a comment on my YouTube channel Sharon Googie and I can organize how you can get that book okay thank you very much Sharon for really finding the time to come in and talk about this I hope there's going to be probably a volume 2 or another book and another experience that is going to give the match inside that I was able to get from this book if you're watching us tonight you've heard from Sharon every lemon that is thrown at you make lemonates out of that and you're also going probably you may not be able to fight deans probably in a way that you really want to but there's always a beginning to something and there's always an end to something thank you very much for joining us tonight my name is Patricia Moriuki two of yourselves a very good night