 It started out pretty normal. We had, he was older than me in school so I really didn't know him and we had run into each other at the township and started talking and went out a few times and I knew, you know, some people that he was associated with who are good people and so we started dating and it was probably close to six months before it started getting really weird and I tried to back out gracefully and I've always heard this saying it's easier to stay than it is to leave and that's very much the case. I would get threats to kill my dad and hurt my family and things like that so it kind of gets you in a position where, you know, I'm not living with them, I can't watch them all the time and you're afraid to tell your family because you're going to be judged and then I didn't want him going and looking for him and any trouble to get started. So when it comes on it comes on fast and hard and then it's really hard to get out of. One night I was out with girlfriends having dinner and he knew one of them and sent her a text with my dad's street sign so of course I jump up and run to my dad's house and without telling him what was going on but wanting to know he was okay it was a matter of three years and I had tried numerous times to back out and would send me subtle threats but I knew what they meant and it wasn't necessarily I'm going to kill your dad or things like that it was subtle and I knew what it meant and it just you cooperate and you do what you can to survive and I think it was all a challenge to him and to break me down and he did because I'm not scared of very much but I'm scared of him still. I moved and I would take the long way home or switch routes every single day because he had ways of getting other vehicles or having someone following me and so it was it was I did that for a long time and sometimes I still find myself doing it and it's been almost six years and sometimes I'll just get uneasy for no reason and then I start you know watching everything and on high alert but I just stayed with them and then I reached out to sister care I have 26 police reports one of those is actually where he choked his ex-wife after I had left and like I said he remarried immediately and and it wasn't long he beat her bad and he had choked her one night when they were out and someone else called the police and he went to jail and managed to get out and all the charges are gone now and I don't know how any of that happens so my goal is to take that and make a difference and make domestic violence laws tougher sister care gave me everything I needed because I sure didn't get it anywhere anywhere else when I went for help I had family support and friends support but legal support I didn't I didn't have very much of that and sister care Dr. Ross was there the whole time and it was wonderful Dr. Ross had met with me and she even came in on a Sunday and she did a dangerous assessment and I believe the score is eight whenever the victim starts dying when they start killing them and I scored a 30 they empowered me and reminded me you know that that I can do this and that I can stand back up because you you do feel this debilitating you know the fear the shame everything is debilitating and they reminded me that I needed to stand back up and and and that I had support and anything that I needed attorney everything they were all there and I know I don't know I would hate to think of where I would be without them so peaceful I mean really for the most part everything is just so peaceful because it there's constant eggshells with the abuser you're you're constantly walking around and trying to figure out what you can say and what you can't say because it changes from day to day and just depending on their mood and if they want to fight and and they can take the simplest of things and so it's just so peaceful and wonderful and like I said I still get nervous now and then but and I can't explain why but for the most part I wouldn't I would not go back for anything I wouldn't change anything I would anyone anyone that's in it and once you get it you have to deprogram yourself when you leave because you feel so defensive because you've been defending yourself for however long you were in the relationship and and so you have to deprogram all of that and and um realize that you don't have to do that anymore and that's a sense of freedom I called july 19th 2015 my freedom day um because that's when I went completely no contact with anyone everything remotely associated I can't even imagine um because my my getaway my runaway was work or even going to the grocery store or whatever I could do for a few minutes I mean you knew you had to get everything done quickly um or there would be a fight when you got back you had to go to work and come straight home and and um and things like that but I can't I can't even imagine having to be there all the time I mean even sometimes at work I would just sit at my desk and work and cry but it was a release and um and I can't imagine that desperately need to reach out and call sister care call and get help and get out especially with if you have children there and because that's the worst case scenario never stop speaking out and never stop standing up because they hear you they hear you and it does make a difference