 When you meet the right person, especially if you've spent your whole life trying to prove who you are, get approval from other people, you were primed as a child to perform instead of asked, you know, what do you like? What don't you like? Why did you do this? Not you did this because, or you know, you are bad because what's gonna happen is when you meet a great person, they're gonna bore you at first. You're not gonna feel the attraction because you have been primed by yourself, by the cynical audience in your own head to believe that it's not valuable if you don't have to work for it, that it's not valuable if it's not in limited supply. And that may be true for a Rolls Royce or whatever, but if it's basic relational necessities like love, respect, honesty, communication, that's not any more valuable because you have to work for it. And I see a lot too, right off the bat, you'll know if you're in the presence of someone who is toxic to your mental health, if you feel as though you're always having to compete for their time, their attention, their communication, they triangulate, you know, it's never you and them, you're always in a threesome. It's you, them and their family, you, them, their job, you, them, their dog, whatever it may be. And the thing that'll mess a lot of people up is that other point of the triangle may be something super admirable. It may be, you know, I'm reinventing the wheel. I'm rescuing puppies and curing cancer. And that's an amazing thing. But if you feel as though you have to compete to get basic relational necessities, get out. That's a very clear warning sign, but many of us like the competition, as you said, because we've been trained from childhood to expect it. That's just how relationships work. We may be seen it in our parents and in the way that they interacted with us. We were competing between their job and their significant other to win that attention. So it's easy to fall into that pattern. But exactly as you said, if you have self-respect, competing for intimacy, competing for communication, competing for honesty, those are not things that need to be competed for. Those should be available to you in all high quality relationships. Absolutely. And you know, the moment you choose yourself, that's the moment everyone else wants you to choose them. And breakups, in this book, I tap into our innate desire to win. It's okay to wanna win. You know, it's okay to say, I wanna win this. And breakups are the only game that you can win by giving up. They're won through resignation. They're won through withdrawal. Taking action is the most important first step after a breakup. And that action has to be directed towards your values. ["Song of Love"]