 Chewing Gum invites you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard, directed by Mack Benoff and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Riggly Spear Mint Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Riggly Spear Mint Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Riggly Spear Mint whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Riggly Spear Mint Gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now Riggly Spear Mint Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. Today we celebrate on the birthday of a great American Abraham Lincoln. For George Washington, who was the father of his country, then I'ma think Abraham Lincoln was his favorite son. Here in America there's a hundred of the things he named after, he's a great man. They got a Lincoln Memorial, a Lincoln Nebraska, a Lincoln Laundry. You should assume I shot some of them here. Today they come back from a Lincoln Laundry and in honor of a Lincoln's birthday they free all the buttons. Here in America, if you very dig, they put your face on the money. Well, they put the Mr. Lincoln on a five dollar bill, but to show you how fair Mr. Lincoln was, he's also put his face on a penny so the poor people could see him at all. Right now I'm going to my night school and I'm gonna hardly wait because we're gonna study more about this wonderful American. Oh yeah, and you'll ask the lady you're asking me how I'm a look, how I'm a feel, and how much I'm away. Well, I'm a look good, I'm a feel good, and I'm away. Well, some place between 120 and 160, I'm not too sure. That sounds crazy, huh? Well, the January moment here, right outside by the corner, is away in the machine and I'm gonna find out before you write them out. Well, I'm gonna step up on a scale, put in a penny, and my, my, my, my, what's this? I'm away only two pounds. That's an affair. Scales say honest to weight, but I'm gonna think it's not this honest. Well, I'm gonna try another penny. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascale. What are you doing, little banana nose, awaying yourself before you take a haircut? Hey, Pascale, is there something wrong with this scale? Look, it says I'm away only two pounds. That's a wonderful, Luigi. Wonderful. Don't let anybody else get out. I gotta call my daughter Rosa. She should've away herself out. Pascale, stop that joking. By the way, this scale doesn't work again, huh? Because of you and the Chicago now, that's a Toledo scale. That's what I wasn't gonna do with another penny. Another penny? You crazy? No, well... You're trying to insult this scale? Luigi, you don't even know in America, there's only one way to treat a self-respecting machine that don't work. How? You kick it. Kick it, eh? You sure, Pascale? Sure, I'm sure. Here, I kick it for you. See how I kick? All right, then now you go. Be my guest. Pascale, I'm afraid that said that's doing something wrong. What are you talking about? Didn't you ever hear Americans saying how they do everything just for kicks? Kick. Ooh! That's a matter of Luigi. The scale, the kick back. Maybe I'm gonna forget the whole thing. Well, you're gonna be a coward. We're gonna get that penny back. Jump. Jump. Go up and down. Go ahead. All right, then. Nothing has just happened, eh? Ooh, that's a stubborn scale. Don't worry, now I'm mad. You jump and I'll kick. Come on. All right. Well, what do you know? We hit the jackpot. Hey, look. Look at how much a penny is. Is it for the finance side or the maintenance side? Is it twenty-four pennies? That's what I should do with them. What do you should do? You stop the talking like such a greenhorn. You keep them, that's a lot. But they're not the minor. I'm gonna gotta give them back. Oh, sure, sure. I'm gonna ask the field. Eh, Mr. Scale and my friend Luigi here each is a pile of some money dropped out of your pants. Would you like to go back to maybe? Pardon me? Oh, eh, eh, eh. You'd like to jump up and down on him for a few minutes. Oh, first of all, stop it, joking. Those pennies, they're not the minor. No, you talking like a maroon. First of all, the lesson I gotta learn you about America is always to be honest, but if there's no cops around, it's every man up for himself. Oh, no, first of all, you can't believe this. In America, I'm alone to respect other people's property and they're gonna respect me. Oh, stop, stop. If I wanna hear this kind of talk, I go to the park and stop by the nearest soap box. Well, what am I gonna do? Do what you wanna. I wanna forget it the whole thing. Hey, listen, Luigi, how's it about you and me and Rosa going for a little ride tomorrow morning on my pierce arrow? Huh? What do you say, little banana nose? Rosa's gonna pack us a nice lunch and we drive along the lake and join the scenery. Miss Spaulding, she can tell me. Huh? Tell you what? What I should do with a twenty-four cents. Goodbye, Pascale, I'm gonna go to school. Oh, goodbye, but I coulda tell you too. What? Put the money in the bank and live off of the interest. Hold on, I'm Iraqi. Bye, bye. Quiet class, please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Vasco? Here. Mr. Horowitz? Here. Mr. Rolton? Mr. Schultz? Well, since you must be so smart, Mr. Schultz, who originally said never swap horses in midstream? Johnny Longden. Oh, smile, Miss Spaulding, of course it was Abraham Lincoln. Of course. Now, class, I asked you to read the chapter on Lincoln in your history books. Are there any questions before I begin the lesson? I'm Miss Spaulding. Yes, what is your question, Mr. Vasco? If you stepped on a scale and twenty-four pennies that come out, what would you think? I would think you was weighing yourself on a slot machine. Please, Mr. Schultz, Mr. Vasco, we cannot have any more interruptions. Mr. Horowitz, you may tell us when Abraham Lincoln was born and when he died. Certainly. Abraham Lincoln died on April 15, 1865. Yes, and when was he born? You must be joking, Miss Spaulding. Mr. Horowitz, when was Lincoln born? On Lincoln's birthday. What else? Tell us the year, Mr. Horowitz. Oh, 1809. Go on the month. February. Today. The 12th. All right. Now, Mr. Schultz. If you ask me what time it happened and who was the doctor, I'm finished. Mr. Olsen, tell us something about Lincoln's boyhood. Miss Spaulding, there will be my extreme pleasure to tell you. There he goes. Old Faithful is about to spout some hot air. He was born in a long cabin in Kentucky. During his youth, he worked on a boat. He owned a general store. He was a farmer, a rail spitter, a postmaster, a surveyor. Yeah, but he wanted a job with small security, so he became president. Please, Mr. Schultz. That's very good, Mr. Olsen. Now, Mr. Vasco, you may tell us some of the nicknames that have been applied to Abraham Lincoln and tell us how he got to be known by those names. Well, the great emancipator, because he's a free-the-slaves. Good. The rail spitter, because he's a helper to build a railroad. Yeah. Honest Abe. Why was he called Honest Abe? Why? Yes, why was he called Honest Abe? Well, because he was honest and his name was Abe. And I defy anybody to give a more perfect answer. Quiet, please. Miss Spaulding, what would Honest Abe do with those 24 pennies? I don't know about Honest Abe, but Honest Schultz would grab the 24 cents and fly to Mexico. Stop that, please. Mr. Vasco, for the last time, you've tried to concentrate on your lesson. Well, yes, Miss Spaulding, but I'm a thoughtable, I'm a given a right answer, because everybody knows that Lincoln was very honest, and that's who I want to be. That's why I ask you about the 24 cents. Well, there is one story connected with Lincoln's exceptional honesty. Mr. Olsen, I'm sure you can tell it. Oh, true. Oh, true. But Miss Spaulding, I have read dozens and dozens of books about Abraham Lincoln. Before I tell the story, perhaps you would like me to recite his Gettysburg address, or his second inaugural address, or his famous reply to Douglas, or perhaps I could put excerpts from his most famous letters. Olsen, why don't you just go home and bake Lincoln a birthday cake? Miss Spaulding, I'm a know-all about the Lincoln too. Since I'm a Comfort America, I'm a try to be like Lincoln, and I study all about him. I memorize everything. Here, listen, that this nation under God shall have a new boat to freedom, and that a government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. Wonderful. Wonderful. I tell you, friends, there never was a man like Lincoln. Well, that was well done. Beautiful little Vino Schmitz. Yeah. What are you thinking about, Mr. Basker? Well, I'm thinking about honest ever, Miss Spaulding, and I want the hero to go with the 21st Sensei. Well, we might do something about that 24th Sensei. We got it in another rifle's case. Miss Spaulding, I will answer Levitian and tell the Lincoln story. If I remember correctly, Lincoln once walked 10 miles on the road just to give back a customer some 10 minutes. She left by mistake. And that was the start of the Lincoln highway. Remember me? Is that the really true, Miss Spaulding? Did Mr. Lincoln really walk 10 miles to give back some money? Well, according to legend, Mr. Basker, it happened while Lincoln was clerking in a general store at New Salem, Illinois. After a customer had paid for some merchandise and gone home, Lincoln found that he had accidentally chore-changed her by about six cents. And he said he's a walk to her house to give her back the money, huh? Yes, he walked about three miles and returned to six cents. Since then, all transportation has been two cents a mile. Now I know what I'm going to do with the 21st Sensei. I'm a walking to the scale company to give it back. Here's a suggestion that'll make your daily activities more pleasant and enjoyable. Carry a package of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint gum with you, chew a stick from time to time. It's really good to get your teeth into a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spearmint. The lively spearmint flavor freshens your mouth and gives you a nice little lift. And the chewing itself gives you extra enjoyment and satisfaction. It makes whatever you're doing more enjoyable. So when you start out your day, talk a package of Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum in your purse or pocket. Be set to enjoy a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint any time and any place. Get a few packages of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Italy. Well, ma'am, ma'am, I'm made up of my mind I'm going to walk to Toledo, Ohio to give back to the 21st Sensei to the people who's on the scale. But why not, ma'am, ma'am? If honest people could have done it, honest Luigi's are going to do it too. Just before I'm looking at my statue of Abraham Lincoln, and I'm said to... What do you think, Mr. President? Do you think I should have made that check? Mr. Lincoln, as I said, did not, didn't he? But my mummy is a whiskers who was appointed straight to Toledo. So I got up early this morning, I'm a bundle up of good, and I'm ready to start my walk when it comes to shoes. Luigi, my fellow boobers, oh, Luigi, no, you ain't really going to Toledo. I'm a gone shirt. Luigi, you are all for shimmels. I just looked it up. Toledo is 242 miles from Chicago. 240... 42 miles? Yeah, and by the time you get there with that 24 cents, money is liable to be out of style. I should say... Anyway, I gotta walk. Goodbye. Luigi, wait, do me one favor. What? Don't walk. It's so cold outside, you're gonna freeze for this. Promise me you're gonna grab some rides on the road. Well, don't worry about it. What? Grab some rides? Hitchhike. It's just that honest Lincoln would have done it in his day. And you'll be sure to get there. All right, then I'm gonna hitchhike. To make a note difference, as long as I'm gonna go there by myself and give back the money. Well, well, look who we got here. Abraham Lincoln and Mr. Salami's husband. Luigi, are you cooking spaghetti? No? Then what's this meatball doing here? So, I heard the board of health that condemned the one of you salamis yesterday. Look who's talking. Since you opened up your restaurant, three drugstores in this block make a living from your customers. I'm telling you something. I'm talking to you just depresses me, Pascuali. I'm going, Luigi. And remember, if you've got to go, don't walk, take plenty of rides. Yeah, sure, Salami, remember. Goodbye. Big mouth, too. Well, I see you really got ready to walk to Toledo, eh? Where do you expect to leave, little cabbage bus? Soon as you get away from that door. Well, I'm in no hurry. You know, Luigi, I think the strain of living in America has finally given you a nervous breakdown. Why are you doing this crazy thing? Pascuali, what's it used to explain to you again how I'm a feel about the Lincoln? You don't even know who he was. Oh, me? I don't know. For you information, a Lincoln was such a famous American they went and named the president after him. Pascuali, Lincoln was the president. That's what I said. Now, look, Luigi, put down the lunchbox and take off your handy ear muffs and the coat, the rubbers. I'll put that ride in my beautiful pier, Sarah, just like I promised you. No, Pascuali, I'm a police. Let me go. Luigi, listen to me. It's a freezing cold outside and Toledo is 3,000 miles from here. I looked it up. No, it's a 242. My airplane may be walking. It's a longer. Pascuali, please, don't hold me back. Look, Luigi, be sensible. By not keeping that 24 cents, you acted like a bad American. Go ahead, ask anybody, see if they wouldn't have I did ask Lincoln. That's enough for me. All right, go. Be like Lincoln. Go to that scale company. You know what's going to happen? What? You're going to start another civil war between the Chicago and Toledo. Come on, mummy. It's getting a real cold. Bruh. I must have walked it too much. Hey, hey, Mr. Pascuali. Hit you, Pascuali. Hit you, Mr. Pascuali. Hit you. I'm going to disappear. Hey, Mr. Pascuali. Are you going to give me a little ride, please? I'm going up the shore drive. How far are you going? Toledo. Toledo Street? No, Toledo, Ohio. Come on, mummy, if I had the money, I think it would have been better to hit you hiking a bus. Mr. Pascuali, very nice of you to take me in your car. I'm driving east, so what's the difference? How come you're going so far as Toledo? Well, it's a long story. I don't like to be nosy, just making conversation. Are you going to see your relatives? No. Business? No. You do? No. I'm going to give back twenty-four cents. Huh? Sure. It's not my money. It belongs to the scale people. Scale people? I'm a step down it. If it's two pounds, I'm a jitter, then I'm a jump on it, then it's twenty-four cents as it come out. And you're going to Toledo to return it? Yes, sure. I'm going to be like Abraham Lincoln. Hey, why you stop? Because I think you're more like Napoleon. Your truck is a ride very nice, Mr. I'm appreciated very much that you're stopping for me and I'm going to tell everybody what nice and careful people truck drivers are. How far are you going, friend? Well, that depends. Depends on what? It depends if you like Abraham Lincoln. Do I like Abraham Lincoln? And I'm much about that guy. Are you talking to me, Mr. My name is Abbasco. No, I'm talking to my mother. Remember how you used to put me on your knees? And recite the emancipation proclamation to me? I'm glad you like him, Mr. Lincoln. They don't make him like that no more, friend. Only Lincoln could have said them words. Don't give up the ship. Well, I was... What do you think about Lincoln to get his bag of drugs? Do you know about the government for the people? I know. Governments were the people. By the people, at the people, with the people. No, that's... Don't try to correct Lincoln, friend. Sorry. How far you say he was good? Oh, not so far. I was... What else do you remember about Lincoln from your school? Oh, everything. I remember one story where Lincoln worked 100 miles in the rain to give an old lady back her umbrella. I think that was three miles for six cents. Please. I like to remember it my way. Sure, sure. The main thing is he's made the walk, huh? Yeah. Murder. And people like that no more. No more. How far you say he was good, friend? Well, mister, I think you're going to understand. I'm going to watch the Lincoln as a doctor. You're going to run for president? No, I'm going to give back the 24 cents, which I'm going to get for nothing when I'm a step on a scale. You're going to give back the 24 cents? Sure, that's why I'm going to Toledo, Ohio. He's just like Mr. Lincoln, huh? Huh? All right, all right, all right. I know, mister. Stop the truck. I'm going to get out. I'm never felt so cold in my life. Walking and walking and walking. Oh, excuse me, mister. What the time, I mean? Sorry, I'm in a hurry. I'm going to raise it to death. If only I'm going to warm up some place. Ooh, I'm going to feel like one bigger piece of ice. I think I'm a better, better sitting down by, by this door and I'm going to rest a little bit, huh? Oh, this is so good to sit down. Maybe I'm a better tactic. Little, little, little, little, little nap. Little, little, little nap. Rosa! Rosa! You found me? Back in the store yet? Nope. He gets a bronchitis. I'm going to say to people, excuse me, did you see Abraham Lincoln pass by here? Oh, why did I have to bring him to America? I should have imported a Frank Sinatra. I could have killed him myself. I show him how to kick in that scale. Hey, what's that? Mr. Pasquale? Oh, baby. Say, I wouldn't let this fellow wander too far from home. We found him asleep in a hallway about 18 miles outside of town. By morning, he would have been a goner. Thank goodness, that's something. Hello, Pasquale. If I were you, I'd put this man to bed and give him some hot drinks. Good night. Thanks, officer. Good night. Honest to Luigi, the smile and the petty back again. What happened, Mr. Lincoln? I see you beard is a misson. I guess you had a close shave, huh? Oh, Papa, stop. He looks all so bad. Serves him right. From now on, Mr. Big Shot, you've got to do like I say. Come on, you get us some sleep, warm up, and then we're going for that drive into my pier, sorrow. All right, Hiroshi. I'm ready. Ready for the drive? Ready for the drive. All right, to get in the car, and don't tell me no more about Lincoln. We're going to Lake Michigan for a sightsee in the drive. All right. But, Pascale, I'm going to tell you, I'm... I'm going to feel terrible. You feel terrible, huh? Lincoln means so much to you, huh? Yes, he does, Pascale. Pascale, why are you going this way? Yeah, Papa, he didn't like Michigan the other way. Oh, shut up, about you. We're going someplace else. Some place else? So where? Toledo, Ohio. We're going to give back the 24 cents. You satisfied Honest to Luigi? Yes, Mr. Lincoln. Come on, Mamma Mia, we had a beautiful six hours of driving to Toledo, and I'm going to give back the money to the scalar company. Pascale says he's happy about the one thing, that I'm a dinner step on a California metascale. So now, Mamma Mia, I finish my letter, and to finish telling you all about me, I'm now 142 pounds. Pascale isn't just a weight to me, but he's a token of chances. He's a put-to-me-and-is-a-battery on the scalar. We're having a son, Luigi Vasco, the little immigrant. Fran is the makers of Wrigley's spear-mint chewing gum. Hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life With Luigi. And they want to remind you that chewing Wrigley's spear-mint gum is an inexpensive, enjoyable way to sweeten your breath and help keep your mouth feeling fresh and clean. You see, Wrigley's spear-mint gum is made to give you real, long-lasting chewing enjoyment. It's smooth and good to chew on. The flavor is delicious and satisfying. And at the same time, it's a long-lasting aid to pleasant mouth freshness. So chew a few sticks of Wrigley's spear-mint every day, as millions do. See how good it makes your mouth feel, and see how enjoyable that pleasant chewing is. Get a few packages of Wrigley's spear-mint chewing gum. Healthful, refreshing, delicious. The makers of Wrigley's spear-mint chewing gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life With Luigi is a Psy Howard production. Pat Burton is associate producer. The script is written by Mack Benoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benoff. J. Carol Mack is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Conn Reed as Schultz, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olson, and Ed Mack as the truck driver. The music is under the direction of Love Bluskin. This is Charles Lyon, this is the CBS Radio Network.