 So, this morning I got up and I was watching a video about why dating in 2020 is so messed up and what was interesting, and I got to put my phone, what was interesting about this person is that she claimed that the reason why dating is so messed up today is partially birth control. And because of birth control, women can become hoes, that was her term that she used. And that because of also social media, that women overvalue themselves because they get likes by what's known as the chat and tyrones out in the world. And that's the problem with dating today is women overvalue themselves, they basically slept around, and they don't appreciate and value men. So now I recognize that this is a younger demographic, which is quite a bit different than the demographic that I speak to. And yet, I wanted to explore this because what I'm noticing is a significant shift in human behavior that's centered around what I believe is self-centric. And I also want to talk about love bombers and narcissists and why people might become more self-centric in the world, that it might appear to be that way because I do believe human beings haven't evolved substantially to some degree, although cultures have changed, socializations have changed, but I think human beings within themselves don't change too much. Well, I do believe that we are a byproduct of our environment and what I mean to say is we are a byproduct of our childhood. So whatever happened in our childhood bleeds over into how we turn out as adults, it becomes part of our personality. And what I mean to say is, you know, when we look at clinical issues like sociopaths and narcissists and such like that, I do believe that when you go back to the root of where this has occurred, you can see that there's been significant childhood wounds and traumas. And I think of like I was watching the Netflix miniseries about Jeffrey Dahmer. And certainly if this is valid, then his childhood was rather messed up. And when you look at cult leaders and such who tend to be narcissists, their childhood is messed up. But for the most part, the average human being isn't overly messed up. I mean, I do believe that most of us carry some significant dysfunctionality. And because of that, I'm noticing that from a dating, mating and relating realm, human beings operate from a self-centric place. And and men, okay. So what's interesting also is that women point the finger at men and men point the finger at women instead of looking inward within themselves and say, what could be causing my behavior? And am I operating from a self-centric place? Well, I think from a dating perspective, it certainly is true because when you go on a first date, are you actually really caring about the other person? Do you care about their needs? I mean, are you going, hey, I'd like, I mean, as a lady, are you, are you going, I'd like to pick up the tab for you? Or is it what you expect from another person? That might be from a woman's point of view. From a man's point of view is what can I get from this woman? Can I get sex from this woman? And so men oftentimes, because they're driven from a biological perspective, we might do what's called love bombing. Now love bombing is oftentimes associated with narcissistic behavior. And yet I can, I'd like to think I'm not a narcissist. And yet, when I look at the, if you go down, you know, if I googled narcissists right now in the traits, I certainly have a number of those traits. I'd like to also think I'm empathetic and I can apologize when I genuinely believe I've done something wrong versus I apologize because I'm trying to, you know, make peace so to speak. What I mean to say is a person who is a narcissist rarely takes ownership of their behavior. Okay. So, and I'm guilty of love bombing. What I mean to say is I've certainly felt lust or limerence with a woman, lust or limerence with a woman. And if you're not familiar with, do me a favor, Google lust, Google limerence, limerence means extreme infatuation. And when I've experienced extreme infatuation, oh my God, I promised the world. I mean, oh my God, you're so the most amazing woman on the planet. I could see us getting married and I could see us living happily ever after. And I've known this person for an hour and ladies, let's face it, you know, while that might be called love bombing because that's the term today, I think there's a big difference between people who are genuinely enthusiastic and get ahead of themselves versus there's a manipulative thing going on. This is why I'm such a big proponent of operating from a place of rather than jumping into bed together because when I was in that lust or limerence phase, I was driven by the chemical biological of I wanted to have sex with this person. And yet I barely knew this person to know if we were a good fit for one another. This is why I adopted what's called as my dating vows. And if you by the way, there's a description of the dating vows in the link below. Here's a copy of it, but there's a description. And I say, you know, before you get fit, well, first off, if you've ever heard the phrase, women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. So what the, the dating vow is an agreement between the two of you is before and from a woman's point of view, I'm saying before you genuinely give your heart to a man because I'm not here to tell you when to have sex, but I certainly do believe that once we're physically intimate with someone, we can bond with them. Is before you get really too deep down the rabbit hole with a guy, here's an agreement you make with each other. I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next three to six months. OK, I agree to be monogamous sexually while we're having regular sex together. I agree to not actively seek to meet and date others while we're in the process of dating one another, including taking down our dating profiles. I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus pulling back, ghosting or disappearing or ignoring you like my previous video. And I agree to invest regular time in the process of getting to know you, which looks like this. And for me, it was social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal and our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy, which leads to either moving in together or getting married. Now, I'm just I'm not saying I'm, by the way, 90 percent of guys will most likely bail on this, OK? Because they're not very serious about the process. And if you have one that goes, wow, that's pretty amazing, which I have so many of my clients telling me once they've heard that, you know, once they've adopted this, the good guys go, wow, I like this. Now, most guys will reject it and certainly self-centric people don't like to be, you know, don't like to go outside of their box. It's at least a start. And so I'm here to offer you this advice with regards to now we'll talk about narcissism with regards to self-centric people, but I want to talk about narcissism for a moment. I shared a moment ago. I probably check off some of the boxes. I sometimes sometimes have a grandiose belief about myself and believe me, I'll get humbled very quickly when I go too far off into my ego. Can I sometimes get defensive when I feel like I'm being challenged? Absolutely. Do I, you know, do I gaslight the person? No, I mean, this is the thing about gaslighting. You know, sometimes when you have a different point of view and you see it differently, you express that that's not gaslighting. I mean, and yet there are people who have sophisticated defense mechanisms that can literally turn things around and make you the problem. When you express an issue with someone, they have this sophisticated way of turning it around. I do believe those people exist. But I don't want to go into that too deep because I'm not an expert on narcissism and I'm only here to say about love bombing. Look, because I've done it. I'm here to say it's kind of male behavior to do that, you know, when we are driven by luster limerals, but self-centric people. You know, I think today we are byproduct, especially when we're after we're 40. If we've gone through a divorce and roughly about seventy five percent of people who are over 40 are divorced. That's anecdotal on my part. I do believe that there for many women alike, there becomes this desire to, especially if you want, you're seeking to mate with someone other. What I mean to say is you're seeking a fully committed relationship with one another, I do believe that we can be selfish because we've been hurt. That's right, we can be selfish because we've been hurt. And what I mean by say is self-protecting one one self and in that being more discriminatory and being more about making sure I don't make the same mistake, making sure that I, you know, being self-protective. And I think that can bleed into being self-centric instead of actually operating from a place of self-love. And by the way, if you're not familiar, there's my book. What the heck is self-love anyway? A journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, all the books I recommend to link below. But I want to share this book if the Buddha dated because what I like about this book and why do I recommend books? It's to to to encourage knowledge, to encourage individual growth. And why I like this book is it throws out the traditional gender rhetoric of how dating should be and operates from a place of how can we come from a heart-centered compassionate way to date one another instead of the traditional self-centric way human beings are dating today? And listen, I get it. It's tough out there. It's hard to find all those pieces of the puzzle, you know, especially when we're in a sea of dysfunctionality. And I really want to thank, oh, and I apologize. Right now, your name escapes me who created this chart for me. Just I'm but I have a brand new chart. This is something I came up with a while ago. I call it the three types of people actively dating. I call the first batch the users. These are the these are the seek sort short term gain. The love bombers, the players, the gold diggers, the entitled people, selfish people only caring about their needs. I roughly believe that's 20 percent of the population. Now, in the next category, I call these the spenders. The reason why I call these spenders, they're spending time with you and yet they don't necessarily desire full commitment or they're not capable of full commitment. These seek connection, companionship, coupling or sex, no direction, uncertainty, fearful, usually have a dysfunctional life. These are people that will spend time with you and I call these the spenders. And then that's roughly 60 percent. And then the balance is what I call the growers of builders. They seek long term commitment. They are emotionally grown up with good relationship skills. They have their act together. OK, so let me just show that to you right there. One of the reasons why I became a dating and relationship coach is that I intentionally help I help women become more intentional about the process, particularly in the area of learning how to vet if he's a user, spender and grower. By the way, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Because when you learn how to ask the questions based on your personality, learn how to ask the right questions, you have a greater chance of vetting. Is this a user, a spender or a grower? And given that I'm saying that eight out of ten guys or four out of five guys you meet are probably either users or spenders, it requires a more sophisticated approach or in a more intentional approach to understanding is this person worth spending my time with? Because the vast majority of human beings are either, you know, have clinical issues or rather dysfunctional. And since our current dating marketplace is hyper focused on chemistry and attraction and not enough about shared values, blendable lifestyles or emotional maturity is what I talk about in my relationship. Iceberg, OK, you see above the water line is chemistry, below the water line is shared values, blendable lifestyles. And what I help you is in that emotional maturity is this person a grown up enough to be in relationship. That's where I can help you out. So coming before I jump into Q&A, as far as self centric people, this is true for men and women alike. It's a natural thing to be what I call myopic, myopic. You can look it up and meaning only looking at the world through your own lens. OK. It's very common for that to happen. That's a natural thing. And yet when you meet someone special, when you meet someone who who just seems different from everyone else, what happens is that myopic view starts to open up. And I can only speak for myself. There's my sweetheart right now. She's out of town right now. And and I'm genuinely missing her. And it's because I appreciate her. What I found is when you meet somebody, when a man or woman meets a person that genuinely shares their values, their lifestyles are wonderful, they have good relationship skills, they have good emotional maturity and there's physical attraction, all of a sudden that desire to be at all about oneself shifts. And I think it happens when a person, I think for a man and I can only speak for myself in this particular case, what opened the door for me, what I believe to attract in my beautiful partner is I had to get to a place of saying, I want to take care of someone. I want to take care of someone that is beyond self-centric. That's it being closer to unconditional. And I think the problem with people over 40 in particular, if they've got burned in their past relationship or their marriage, oftentimes for a period of time, it could be a long period of time, they operate from a self-centric place and they act as spenders. As I shared before, those are people that want companionship, connection and sex, but they're not capable of commitment. And until a man literally can say, I want to take care of someone, it doesn't mean you have to take care of them fully financially or whatnot, but at least that want to take care of someone. It's going to be difficult for them to go beyond the surface level of what they say, companionship, connection and sex. You have to want genuine commitment. And until you, because ladies, you're the gatekeepers of sex, and that happens now really quickly, but the gatekeepers of commitment is men, but he has to want commitment and that goes beyond being self-centric. Because until a person reaches that point of saying, I want to take care of someone or at least want it, it doesn't mean they have to do it, but want to do it. It's going to be difficult to lean into the deeper roots of trust. The deeper roots of trust and trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, can I count on that person being there for me? Does this person have my best interest at heart? That's what trust is. Is does this person care about my feelings as much as I care about my own feelings, would they want to take care of me? And many of you are in relationships or you're in fantasy relationships, believing that that person does want that. Because when a man says, I want a relationship that you have to define, does that mean the same thing as you want? Just because they say, what does the word relationship mean? It can mean situationship. It can be friends with benefits. It can be casual. There's probably a hundred other terms going on these days. But until it's designed to be partnership and that's what I promote, is partnership and partnership means I can count on you. Because when you say the words, I love you, this is how I believe it should how it should land. I'm here. You matter. We are important. I've got your back. And I only want you. That's how it should land. And until a person can be in that space of saying, I want to take care of you. Be careful of getting attached to the words, I love you. And certainly don't assume that just because you might be operating that way, that other person might be operating in the same premise. And this is why I help women get clarity on that. Because with clarity, it builds confidence and confidence helps making better choices. And that's my invitation for y'all is to make better choices. Y'all are my southern. All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Did this sink into this resonate? Please let me know. Please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. You're brand new. Check out the links below to my books, my membership group. Follow me on Instagram and that sort of thing. And Rachel says, yes, this resonates with me. All right, I think it's time for Q&A. This is my spontaneous Saturday morning coffee with Jonathan. I make the world go around. What do you do? Such a self-centric phrase. I make the world go around. What do you do? All right, if you have a question, write the word question and then post the question thereafter or purchase a super stick or super chat. All the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor, as like that was in when he was three or three years old. He tied himself to the wall. He's my son who passed away a few years ago. And his honor, I've started a scholarship fund to donate to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight Institute. Just to name a few. So if you have a question, post the question there and I'm going to start taking Q&A for a while. I just want to step over my desk and grab a clean wipe, so bear with me a second if you can still hear me, bear with me a second. And let's get started with Q&A. And if you want to talk about self-centric love bombers, narcissists, absolutely. I'd like to engage in that conversation as well. Oh, let's see. OK. Jade says, I love the spontaneous with coffee. OK, Leah says, how soon do you introduce the dating vows? Well, I think I think it's important to set the stage of what it is you set your standard first of what it is you're looking for in a relationship. What does a relationship mean to you? This is why, folks, it's funny. I have women coming to me, come to me and say, Jonathan, I'm in a relationship with a guy and I want more commitment. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I want more commitment from you. What does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him. Excuse me. But what does that look like for you? Ladies, if you don't know what commitment looks like for you, then it's going to be virtually impossible to set the standard to know when is the time to do the dating vows? So first and foremost, if you are genuinely seeking partnership, then I would I would be absolutely up front right from the get-go as I'm looking to get married or live together with someone. Now, some of you may not want to do that. That's OK. I think it's going to be difficult. What's the point of dating if you don't eventually? I mean, what's the point if you don't eventually want to be living together or married, especially at our age? Look at, you know, for us baby boomers, you know, tail end baby boomers and Gen Xers, you know, what's the point? I mean, unless you just want to have casual sex and casual relationship, what's the point? So when's the time to introduce the dating vows? I think before you give your heart to someone. And certainly if you're going to take your time getting to know each other, then maybe they're prior to or shortly after having sex together. To at least create clarity. This is all about creating clarity. And I said 90 percent of guys will bail on this. Now, will it actually do these people live up to the vow? Well, think about how many people got married, set a vow to each other, and the divorce rate is 50 plus percent. So it's not a guarantee. It's just a weeding out process. And and it's designed to create conversations. See, most importantly, it's designed to create conversations about what it is you want in a relationship. Folks, if you haven't read the book, eight dates by doctors, John and Julie Gottman. Check out chapter one about trust and commitment. And I recommend women buying two copies of this book and reading it with the guy that they're dating. Is that going to guarantee the relationship is going to work? No, but it weeds out a lot of the people it won't work with. And that's my invitation. So when you say the dating vows, I think the best time to say it is before you give your heart or possibly your body to another human being. And that's my invitation for you. Leah, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, let's go swim in. Let's see. Question from Liske. How can a woman tell the difference between a man who wants to take care of someone and agrees to the dating vows and the narcissist who claims the same thing, same and seems genuine? It's a good question. I think narcissists tend to push their agenda more than appreciating your desires. OK, so they push their agenda. Now, differentiating between, you know, and again, I'm not a clinical psychologist. I cannot, I cannot begin to say I have any expertise regarding narcissism. What I can say is the term narcissist gets thrown out a lot, you know, clinical narcissism versus just genuine self-centric behavior. So here's the thing. What I've observed is what I've observed for most happy relationships is that most of them seem to be on the same page on their values and their lifestyles and what they want in relationship to commitment. So they seem to be on the same page with that. Also, the man and woman invests regular time to getting to know one another. And I get it. It's a challenge. We're meeting total strangers. Look, if I could be there on a first date for you as your big brother, and I had this shotgun and I pointed at the guy's head and said, what's your what's your intentions with my little sister? We could that fear of retribution might cause a man to be a little bit more mindful in how he treats you. Well, you don't have that. And I wish I could do that for you. And if you want to pay extra, you can hire me for that. I will have to purchase a shotgun. I don't happen to own one. It's what I what I'm how I differentiate is what I think is the sincerity over the agenda. Somebody who's trying to push an agenda, it will feel like pressure to you versus when you can feel it from a place of sincerity and it feels right from a timing perspective. In other words, again, when you're meeting a stranger, like with my sweetheart, I didn't love bomber. Did I have did I have lust and limerence with her? Absolutely. But and at the same time, I had a relative set of pace. Now, I was the one who introduced the dating vows because I do this for a living. But there's a sense of pace that feels comfortable when you're with a sincere person versus someone who's pushing, pushing, pushing an agenda. That's at least this is something you have to practice. You have to really tap into your spider senses to really get a sense of the person who's sincere. Now, this isn't a guarantee, but the sincere sincere person versus the person pushing the agenda. Liz, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, personal question. What's a romantic city for a trip in your opinion? Well, I don't know. You know, romance, you know what? I'm a big Marvel fan. Asgard is not a place. Asgard is not a planet. It's a place. In other words, romance is wherever you want it to be. Romantic city. You know, I am so grateful. Look, there's a picture of her in India, if you can see that. My sweetheart has traveled to over 68 countries. And there's a few places she hasn't been, but we are going. We are taking two cruises in the next four months to places she's been before. I'm grateful that she's introducing me because of her experience to travel. And so I'm hoping to find those romantic places. But at the same time, romantic places are wherever the two are you are at. At least that's my my invitation for you all. Thank you so much, Corny Goff, for that question. How do I differentiate a narcissist from a spender? Well, a spender. Well, first off, I think the most the a narcissist from what I understand can never say I'm sorry or apologize. A spender can apologize. The challenge with the spender is that they don't have a plan of how to take the relationship from where it is now to where you want it to be. And they are not discussing that plan. They might say things like, oh, we can talk about that in five years. You know, they're putting off the plan. OK, a builder and a grower. He has a he or she has a plan right from the beginning. And they're working on the plan. OK, I did that with my sweetheart after we agreed that we're going to explore a relationship, we put a plan together to take the distance because it was a long distance relationship and it's the difference between us. See, I don't want you to differentiate between a narcissist because human being most I believe clinical narcissists is a small percentage of people. Or I'd say a significant percentage of people are self centric and myopic. OK, but not narcissists. But at the end of the day, listen, if you're not building a relationship of co creation, then the relationship probably is going to be mediocre at best. This is why I recommend reading this book. Making your second marriage a first class success. You know, it says the word marriage, but making your relationship and that you're excuse me, making your second marriage a first class success. The point is, is since a significant percentage of my population or my audience is divorced, why not understand what it takes to make a good relationship work? Why, folks, stop being so naive. I got a question the other day. Jonathan, why is love so hard? Why is it love simple? Love is simple. Human beings are hard. Human beings are dysfunctional. Look at if you haven't seen this chart, emotional maturity, relationship skills. I say roughly. And by the way, this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion, just like my previous charts. Roughly 20 percent of the population has clinical issues. And while I say 20 percent of the pop and I'm saying good relationship skills and emotional maturity, most everybody is dysfunctional. Folks, rather than go in with the assumption, I go in the assumption that people are fucked up. It's just a matter of degrees. What's interesting is when I heard my sweetheart story of the dysfunctionality she grew up in her childhood. At age 19, she did something called life spring. And she did it twice. So at a very young age, she was able to go, I grew up with so much dysfunctionality, I need some help. This is why now it took me to be in my 50s before I did. I did the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. By the way, again, the links below to all the books I recommend. This is a deep dive into healing, childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that cause our dysfunctionality. So I go in, I went in the dating process, always assuming everyone was a bit messed up. It's just a matter of degrees. But I think I talk about that. I think I think I hope this is the first book I wrote, understand men now, the relationships men commit to and why. I got to be candid with you. It's a cheesy book. But I think I said something in my book. And sex, stage of commitment six, I could have swore I talked about. Everybody's messed up. It's just a matter of degrees in my book. I forget. I guess I didn't title it that. But I do believe most everybody is a bit messed up. It's just a matter of degrees. So anyway, Pamela, did I answer your question? I hope I did, but that's just my two cents on that. Hope it helps. Sherry says question. May I put your memes you put out on here on my dating profile? I liked your last one. Absolutely, Sherry, you may do so. These are these aren't my memes. I just get it from other people. All right. Here's from pretty question. Do you think do you think it is best to get a guy you're dating in a relationship? Wait, do you think it's do you think it is best to get a guy you're dating or in a relationship with a gift that's like over a hundred dollars? Wait, wait till he does it first. Oh, interesting question. So if I understand the question is you think about buying a gift. It's over a hundred dollars, but he hasn't spent a hundred dollars on you. You know, I've often said I think of relationships like a two lane street. You're traveling two cars, traveling the street together at about the same pace. And what I mean to say is there's mutual investment to one another. Has he taken you out on a dinner that was a hundred dollars or more? OK, has he invested time with you? Is he making effort? You know, last night I went to go visit my best friend for dinner and he lives an hour from me, by the way, we only live in Los Angeles. He lives 17 miles and that takes that can take an hour and 20 minutes. It's by the way, the drive home was 38 minutes. And he's because I slept out there. That's what he said. He picked up dinner. You know, that was just a nice mutual exchange. There's an interesting book you may want to check out. Where is it? Here's an interesting book. It's called The Partnership Charter, How to Start Out Right with Your New Business Partnership. What's interesting about this book is you can relate it to relationships because it's the thinking of the idea of, let's say, two attorneys that want to partner together. How are we going to make this partnership work? Two CPAs that want to partner together. Two doctors that want to partner together. How are you going to make this partnership work? And there's something in the book that talks about mutual exchange, mutual exchange. A relationship is no different. There is an element of mutual exchange. So if he's investing in you, and I don't mean just the dinners and financially, but if he's making an overture, then buying a gift is a kind thing to do for another person. I just would only encourage it if it's somebody who's making an investment of you, their time, their energy, their resources, their affections. Are they making effort towards you? Then I certainly think because if you're not familiar with the book, where is the five love languages? Five love languages, OK, words of affirmation or for us, Leo's, it's words of adoration, physical touch, quality time, access, service and gifts. Gifts is one of the five love languages. Check out the book by Gary Chapman. It's listed below. But yes, I think if there's mutual exchange going on, then absolutely do something nice. And if it costs $100 or more, go for it. Freddie, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Nitwit says, sorry, that made me laugh. How long should I wait for him to break his silence? Had an argument and he has not been replying for 20 days. I'm drained, tired. He's a good guy, but long distance sucks. Ticketed, booked to see him December 17th. Look at either deal with grownups. I look at I am tired of childish behavior from both genders. OK, well, maybe there's more of them. OK, let me clarify something because I know some people might get offended. There's 30 different genders out there or 130 different genders. I'm talking predominantly heterosexual relationships with men and women, and I do believe men and women can be absolutely inconsiderate, unkind and act like fucking children. OK, listen, Nitwit, get on the phone, talk to him, have a conversation and make a choice. Is this relationship worth investing in or not? You know, my philosophy is just like in the movie, Shawshank Redemption, get busy living or get busy dying. In other words, you're either in it to work it through. And yes, long distance sucks. And sadly, many of you are suckling on the nipple of long distance relationships, believing that you're in a relationship when it's actually just what's known as a situation ship with distance and a situation ship means you you have a little bit of connection, a little bit of companionship on occasion, a little bit of sex and a lot of fucking relationship with a telephone. And let me just say this, you know, we already have an addiction to these devices as it is already to spend your entire relationship on FaceTime and telephone call is not the type of relationship that's going to build the deep roots of trust that is happens through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling the other teamwork, building skills, both in your personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married. So get on the phone, have a conversation, try to figure out what's the game plan in this relationship, because especially with long distance relationships, you better have a plan sooner rather than later or it's just a situation ship. And it's really a long distance relationship with your telephone. Sending you a big hug. Now, what's the difference between a love bombing and a sincere compliment? Love bombing is over the top. Love bombing is over the top. And a sincere compliment comes from a heart centered place. And you can feel difference. It doesn't feel icky. Love bombing feels icky. Sincere compliments feel. Now, a woman who's thirsty for attention, affection might be seduced by a love bomb or love bombing, but at the end of the day, it's sincere. And you can feel the difference. Thank you, Wanda, for that question. Dee Dee, how do I stop giving my heart away so easily? OK. Here's another book. Here's another book I recommend. Why men love bitches? OK, why men love bitches? I'm going to tell you, this is an amazing book to help you stand in your power. Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. Now, there are some aspects of the book I don't like because there is some game playing going on, but ultimately it's an empowerment book to setting proper standards for yourself and establishing healthy boundaries. How do I stop giving my heart away? By establishing your standards and boundaries very quickly. Because without it, you might be compromising yourself. And when you've compromised yourself too many times, when you've compromised yourself, you've compromised your standard and you have relinquished boundaries. It becomes more difficult to establish boundaries when you've set the stage that you're a doormat in relationships. So that I definitely recommend checking out that. Thank you so much for that question. By the way, folks, if you have a question for me, write the word question, post the question there after Suzanne says, should I wait for him to ring me first? I find it hard to ring him. You know, it's interesting. My girlfriend, I there's a picture of her. You know, we're in a long distance relationship. She lived two hours ahead of me. And for the most part, she was the one who sent the first text message every morning, not actually. I actually got up earlier than her on average, but she was the first one. I like that she made that effort because I appreciated she made that effort. Now, I always reciprocated the effort and the mutual investment between the two of us. But I liked it. Men like to feel that we're wanted in desire too. So, you know, but I'm also and by the way, we took we take turns. For example, this morning she's in Chicago visiting her children and grandchildren. So I shoddered the text message first. It's just it's OK to do that, ring him, text him. That's OK to do. All right. Great question. SGM says question. My husband puts his mom's needs before mine. He's living with her. He's 65. He's a lost cause at stepping up in our marriage. He says when I am in a settlement, he'll leave her when when I get my settlement, I'll leave her. No, thanks. SGM, that's not a question. That's a statement, but I'm sorry you're experiencing a man who puts doesn't put your doesn't put your needs at a commensurate level as his mom's needs. And now there is the situational component where somebody look at I believe in your children are important to you. Your your family and parents are important to you and your relationship is important to you. So I don't put any one person on a pedestal. I put it all on a pedestal and whoever needs my priority at a particular time gets it based on a particular time and not a consistency. So but if he puts his mom on a pedestal or puts her needs above yours, then it's not a true partnership with one another. It's a one up, one down relationship. And I don't subscribe to one up, one down. You're below him or anyone else in his life. So make a choice if you want to stay in that relationship or not. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Leah says, thank you. I love that. Stormy blue says I love that picture of her. Nitwit says. Oh, we already did that. LOL spider senses that should be easy for us. Yeah, ladies, you're supposed to have great intuition. Women are so great at intuition. Why can't they recognize shit? I don't know. I want to think. Oh, well, Powder Power River, I'll get to your question in just a second. Let's see. Mueller question. What kind of dates places you places you recommended? Wait, what kind of dates places you recommended when we start dating along marriage after a long marriage into ours? How should we date conscious after a long marriage dating? Something similar. Well, you know, I've always been, listen, the first date or the first phone call is the sniff test. Guys, see if there's attraction for one another. And that could be done at a coffee date that I've had a lot of breakfast dates or it can be done at listen. My girlfriend, I met at a nice restaurant and had drinks together. That was our first date. I do believe being in a safe environment. OK, I also believe after there's physical attraction, do simple things like maybe walks in the park, maybe a picnic. I'm all this time of year, it's hard to do a picnic. But do things that don't put you in an environment of always in the evening and alcohol, try to avoid too much evening and alcohol and driving. OK, try to avoid that so you don't find yourself in the environment where your defenses or your boundaries drop a bit with respects to, you know, before getting physically intimate with someone. So my recommendation is try to avoid evening, alcohol and too much distance from where you live. For the most part, genuinely speaking. OK, great question. Your thank you so much. I want to get to bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. OK, Powder River, Power River, Power, Powder River. By the way, I'm a bit dyslexic, folks. I put your names and I butcher reading. So I keep establishing boundaries and he keeps stepping over them. He was a drinking way. He has a drinking problem. He is a half asked. He is half acid addressing. He's extremely kind, but extremely he's also an engineer. Nice false front. First off, thank you so much for the super sticker of 1999. And now let's get to the actual question. I had to rewrite my question. I forgot to put question. Maybe it's obvious, but I need to plan my breakup. I'm tired of multiple goodbyes. So I miss so again, you didn't ask a question. OK, just because you put the queue there, there isn't a question. So I'm tired of multiple guys. Maybe it's obvious, but I need to plan my breakup. If that is your question, it sounds like you need to break up, not plan the break up. And if you need help with the breakup schedule, a discovery call with me so we can get on the phone and we can plan the break up. OK, if you want help in the conversation of how to break up, you need to schedule a coaching session with me. But it sounds to me, it's very clear, you should probably break up. OK, thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. All right, let's go back up here. Lisa, thank you, pretty. Thank you, Stormy, thank you. OK, Jade Green says question. Narcissists, sociopaths, traits, etc., love bombers and aren't usually honest and set up a whole plot you couldn't figure out, do you think non-narcissistic or normal guys also plot and lie out of fear? That's a great question. And I do believe fear causes human beings or pain, suffering, fear causes human beings to be hold on one second, everyone. I wrote something down the other day. I believe human beings can gaslight themselves when they're wounded or in pain. They can have a spiritual bypass. In other words, they use spirituality to bypass their bad behavior or they can do what's called rationalization, L-I-E-S, they they lie to themselves. OK, does that make them narcissists, sociopaths? No, it makes them a human being. We are swimming in a sea of dysfunctionality. That's why when I when I shared in the beginning of this broadcast about the video I was watching and all the problems with dating today is women who are overly sexually active and are entitled. Yeah, well, that's because we are a bunch of fucking wounded human beings. OK, as much as I'm a dating a relationship coach, I'm more of an advocate for personal development, self-help and spiritual work. OK, that's why check out all the books I recommend. I recommend going to therapy. I recommend going to workshops. I recommend getting to a place that you're so you're. Listen, self-love, my book, self-love is not an final destination and is not a requirement for soulmate love. OK, it's not a requirement. And yet the more you are empowered in love on yourself, the more you are in your self-reliance, self-esteem, self self-confidence, when you're in your sovereignty, you open the door for soulmate love to enter in it. It cracks the door wide open and makes it easier when a human. And by the way, a lot of people are fucking delusional. It's because folks, we all create a reality based on what happened in our childhood of how we view the world. It's like when you look at a prism, right? It's just a piece of glass, right? But when you turn it, you see different colors. Well, human beings are the same way. We all believe truth is absolute. No, every individual has their own truth of how they view the world. So rather than be naive to this. You know, it's interesting. I'm going to use the movie Pride and Prejudice as an example. And this is just my perception of this movie. Eighteen hundreds England give or take, you know, it seems to me back then, everybody understood men and they understood women. There was no fantasy that about men and women and the expectations. There was no fantasy and there was no delusion about it. Men, because they had the money, they operated in private provider protectors. Women had the physical, you know, offered the sexual piece. And there was no and they basically were caretakers at home. And they operated from that premise. All of a sudden, the world is like forgotten about, you know, not forgotten, but doesn't literally understand that human beings are rather messed up and we don't see it within ourselves. That's why the people that go do personal development, self open spiritual work is because they looked at them. OK, let me share with you something really quickly. My first year after my divorce, I went on a hundred first dates, my first year after my divorce, hundred first dates, internet dates, and I'd meet a great one. I'll never forget my first date, Tish, we're still Facebook friends. You know, really attractive woman, great date, but something wasn't right. I went on the next date. I remember the second date was a Valentine's Day date. Just happened to be on Valentine's Day. I gave her a swatch. Does anyone remember swatch? I thought I'd bring her a little gift. It was a twenty dollar watch. Great date. I liked her, but something wasn't right. And again and again and again and again and again and again. I was doing two dates a day sometimes for two dates a week, for sure. It took me a year to realize that the common denominator was me. Do you know most couples go to couples therapy saying, fix my partner? They rarely look in the mirror and say, I've got to work on myself. So that was a ramble onto that. But to come back to your question, Jade, I just believe human beings are delusional and just some have to be some happen to be more clinically delusional than the average delusion that most humans and when I say delusion, I mean that they are they created a world for them, how they see the world is through their prism. And sometimes they're not viewing it from someone else's prism. That's what I meant by that. OK, thank you so much for that question. Question as a coach, what are some of the ways you encourage a man's mental maturity and can all men reach this stage if encouraged appropriately? I think every human being has a has a capacity for growth. Every human being has a capacity for growth. But they have to desire that growth. They have to desire to want to better themselves. That's the most important piece. And then they go seek assistance. Sometimes they seek assistance in the wrong places. We are now I'd say, listen, I am not guilty of I am not immune to saying I probably have given advice that could have been a lot better and human beings can take advice from people that are disingenuous or giving the advice or they're self centric, mostly focused on their money. So they might get poor advice out there. But ultimately, you have to have the desire to want to improve yourself. That's, I think, the difference. So, yes, I believe and if they encourage appropriately, ladies, I'm a big proponent of establishing your standards, having good boundaries and leading by example. And if they don't meet you on that two lane street in that same capacity, that's probably time for you to veer off in the other direction. All right, great question. Thank you so much, Linda. I really appreciate it. Jade says, great question, Linda. I would agree he could make video guide young men learning. I would love to work with men. OK. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Wanda says, thank you, Jonathan. I knew I would read that guy right. Just a love bomber. I really mean. OK, thank you so much, Wanda. I really appreciate it. All right, let's keep jumping in. If there's a question, Lexi has a question. Question, we live together. We live together. He is so clingy and suckles. If I want, wait, suck, suckles, sucks, if I want or need my own time. Oh, sulks. Oh, my God. I've been so embarrassed. Sulks, if I want, need my own time. How do I create space or is this a sign of something wrong? Could this be narcissism? What does it have to necessarily? Again, the word narcissism throws out. I might be, listen, I can be a needy person. I have what's known as an anxious attachment style. If you're not familiar with the book attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend reading this book. It's about love attachment. And what he might have is what's known as an anxious attachment style. And the minute you take space, he feels so scared that you will never come back. So I would recommend reading this book to get reading this book first, introducing this book, having conversations with him about how you feel. Folks, if you haven't read the book, nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg, this teaches you how to have better conversations to express yourself from a place of how you feel. And instead of telling a person they're doing something wrong, those would be my recommendation for you, Lexi. OK, great question. Thank you so much. And Powarder says, perhaps anxious allegement style, exactly. Jade says, how to establish the sexual vow or take care of one's boundaries in a way that doesn't push him away. So so much that makes him feel he has to go to another woman or physical needs interest. I feel like when we have to establish a lot of boundaries in a relationship, it's probably not the right relationship. You know, it's interesting. I've been with my partner now for six months. I don't think we've had to establish one boundary with each other. I was with a group of I was with a group of I was with four couple, three other couples last weekend, the four of us were together doing a couple's retreat. And I was funny that one of them is getting married. They're in their 60s, early 60s, they're getting married. They met on match.com. Actually, three of the four couples all met on match.com. All baby boomer plus. Or no, two of them were Gen Xers. And I don't I think that couple that's about they've been together two years. She said, this has been the easiest relationship I've ever been in. I said, have you had any fights? She goes, we haven't had one fight. You know, when you're with the right relationship, you don't have to establish boundaries because you share the same standards. So I'm I'm I'm not sure, you know, if if you're having, you know, if you have to continually set boundaries, it's probably not the right relationship. That's my my suspicion. OK, but thank you for the question, Jade. I really appreciate it. Oh, Mama Kin says question. What does it mean when a guy blocks you plus all of your mutual friends on Facebook, Instagram, etc., without any reason for occupation, not unfollowed, just full block guys over 50s act like a kid. By the way, men and women do this alike. So it's not just men over 50. You know, I've blocked women before because I thought they might be there's a phrase. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. And today you better block someone before they report you. It's like, you know, it's better to go to the police and say the other person was batshit crazy before they come and tell the police you're batshit crazy. That's a preemptive move. My suspicion, he probably thinks you might be might be unhinged. I'm not saying this is the case. I'm just saying what he might be thinking that you might be unhinged and he's preparing it, or the other thing is he just might not want a reminder of you in his life. That's the other thing. We don't want to be reminded of a person and or also tempted. But most of the time it's there's a fear of you being unhinged. I'm not saying you are unhinged, Mama. I'm just saying that's the fear. OK, thanks for that question. Hey, I want to just give props to Elena. She is this sweet woman who created our three types of dating activity, three types of people actively dating. I want to give you your props. I forgot to mention I forgot your name before. So I want to give you your props. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Let's keep swimming. Let's keep swimming. Let's keep swimming. Miss Wonderland writes question. What's your opinion about the age difference in relationship? He's 21, I'm 26 and we'll meet soon. He says there's a difference. The difference scares him and now it scares me too somehow. Look at. I look at my son who's 26. When he was 21, he was fucking clueless. Of course, I look at him at 26 and I say he's clueless. Actually, my son is not clueless. He has dated someone six years older than him. I'm not at liberty to share the particulars, but I think younger guys are better suited with women who are older. And for the record, my beloved is a year older than me. So. As much as my ego wanted someone five or 10 or 15 years younger, I'm with someone older. Thankfully, she looks 20 years younger than me. But no, I think it's good for a man to be 21. It's a tough age because here's the thing, ladies. I want you to realize this and as as a man who is a who is a parent at 18, we oftentimes think of them as adults. But I think of a 19 year at 19 year old as a one year old adult. And at 21, I consider them a three year old adult. I think it takes men about 12 to 15 years of adulthood to really establish themselves to be in a fully committed relationship where they want to take care of someone, as I talked about taking care of someone earlier. And so I think it takes men a good 12 to 15 years. So puts them at age 30 to 30 to 33 as a good starting point. And I do believe men tend to do better with women who are probably six years younger than them. This is just purely just speculation on my part. But at the end of the day, I think a 21 year old is probably a little too young because they have very little life experience. They barely know themselves just because we consider them adults. Doesn't make them emotionally an adult until they've had their own life experience outside of the family. And for some men that starts at age 21, not at 18, twenty one twenty two after they've graduated college. And by the way, coming back to the age, though, when I said earlier, typically men who are 36, it's with a woman, 30, that's usually for baby making reasons, I said that I was thinking about 36 and 30. Because I think at age 30 is a good time. I mean, this is just this sounds very puritan, but I think a good time to start a family kind of thing. Anyway, that's just generalized thoughts on that one. So thank you so much. Oh, my God, my bro trip advices in the house. OK, folks. I got to give props to this guy. Tripp Kramer has a website for men. He has over a million subscribers. And while some of his content is sexual, you know, has some sexual component to it. What I love most is ninety five percent of it is about helping men build the confidence to actually approach women. One of the fears most men have is that capacity to approach women, to have the courage to approach women. And so I actually see him as one of those good guys that's giving good advice. I mean, sometimes I don't agree with all his advice and he doesn't agree with my advice. We actually share a podcast together called Relationships Are Underrated and we're going to come back to recording again. We're going to start next next week. So Tripp Kramer is one of those and I officiated his wedding. In fact, it's because of his wedding that my beloved and I are together. So I'm giving Tripp Kramer his props. Everyone go check out his YouTube channel. You might not agree with it all. But let me tell you, he is genuinely one of those good people out there that is encouraging healthy, happy relationships between men and women. So thanks, bro. Um, let's see. We just says doomed. I said something else about doomed. I don't know what that's about. So, folks, oh, and and Alina, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. All right, we've got time for a few more questions. It's it's Saturday morning. I'm having my coffee. I make the world go around. What do you do? That's very self centric. All right, do we have any questions? This is fun. I may I might do more Saturday morning talks. Would you guys like me to do more Saturday morning talks? If yes, say absolutely, Jonathan, more Saturday morning talks. Also, if you have a personal question to ask me, this is the time to ask me a personal question, write the word personal question, then post the question there after. All right, let's see what we have here. If you need any more cards. Yes, by the way, I do need to get your email address. So if you could do that, I appreciate it. Cina says, thank you, Jonathan, from Sydney, Australia. Got to sleep. It's already Sunday, early morning, 3 a.m. Thank you. Everyone's saying absolutely more Saturday mornings. OK. Linda says, when a guy says, why is a certificate necessary, meaning marriage? What would you say to that? I think that's a great question. So, you know, making, putting it on paper on some level, it's a binding contract. OK. And what I like about it, it's it's pre-med it. If we actually went at it pre-meditated. So it's interesting. My girlfriend and I were watching, I think it's how I can't remember if it was Love is Blind episode where there was this cowboy that fell in love with a Jewish gal and met the parents. And the parents want before they kind of signed off on the marriage with her daughter, they wanted him to sign a prenuptial agreement. And in that prenuptial agreement, it stated what he would agree to do if they got divorced, which included financially take care of him. So I got to thinking about relationships. By the way, so when it's prenuptial, it forces someone to excuse me, a prenup basically says, I'm going to agree to a lot of things and then I'm legally bound to it. It's like saying, let's put your money where your mouth is. And so and I'll be candid with you. I've already been fantasizing about wanting to marry my beloved because I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. Are we ready for it? Not quite yet. Well, I mean, ready is a relative term, but I don't think the timing is right yet. But at the end of the day, it's putting your money where your mouth is. That's my my suspicion, anyway. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. OK, pretty says Trip Advice. Good to see you here. Thank you so much. Corny Cobb says question, what's a good YouTube channel for a young man already in a relationship? That's a good question. You know what? I think I like Louis Howe's interviews. I really like his interviews, but from an overall general perspective, I think Louis Howe would benefit. I'm thinking Matt Khan is someone I've watched, but he's not relationship oriented. Who's relationship oriented? Some people like Jordan Peterson. I think his book is book 12 Rules for Life. A lot of men have been appreciating that book because it's really about personal responsibility. I think what's what's sorely lacking today. And I think parents of my generation are guilty of raising a lot of. Of children without I mean, I was raised with a lot of corporal punishment. Now, I'm not saying that's good or bad, but, you know, children today have been raised with, you know, a participation award for just showing up instead of actually striving for genuine personal accountability and personal responsibility. So now I'm not necessarily subscribed to everything Jordan Peterson says. You know, I'm trying to think who my son watches. Tently, we've been binge watching a guy named Destiny on YouTube. He's a gamer, but he's an interesting intellectual. I like Sam Harris would be an interesting person. But again, this is this is high level philosophical thinking. But I will. OK, I think for a younger person, reading the book 12 Rules of Life would be a good start. I'm not saying I agree with everything. I'm just it's a good start. All right. Hillary says maybe a podcast with a woman to get both points of view, particularly in the older dating arena. Let's listen, folks, I'm trying to get my sweetheart on camera. She's reluctant. I really want to get, you know, she has I've got to give her her props. She's got a really good point of view on stuff. She's very smart. I just wish she wasn't camera shy. So maybe that might happen. Let's let's cross our fingers for that. Reba says, for me, the goal isn't marriage. The relationship is the goal. I get it, but without but a relationship is can most of the time is temporary. So if you're, you know, that's just my opinion on that. Are traditionally are temporary. They either move in one direction or another. In my opinion, what's the point if you're not going to make a commitment to take care of one another? Because it's going to really suck being eight years old and going up. Well, we were just in a relationship. So I'm going to go find a younger model and take care of them. Although, and that can happen even in a marriage, I get that. But again, it's putting money where the mouth is. Linda says, I love that show. Lisa says, even a dog gets a license. That's funny. Even if you want to go fishing, you need a license. Oh, so yeah, someone mentioned Matt Boggs. I like Matt Boggs. He's someone I know professionally. I think I'm going to be seeing him in two weeks at a at a relationship group event. I like Matt Boggs's content a lot. He does cater to women, but I certainly respect him. I like Matthew Hussie's content. He caters more to a younger group of people. But I definitely like the two mats out there. Matthew Coast isn't too bad either. I like some of his content too, not all, but some defining moments. Question, what is the best advice for a long distance relationship? My son is 14, so I can't move. Big kids are adults. Well, that's going to be a tough one. Listen, without a game plan of how to shorten the distance and depending on how often you see each other, long distance relationships are just traditionally situations ships in that in the situation ship means it's or it's casual, you're spending a lot of time on the phone without a game plan of how to shorten the distance it while it might work out. I mean, it's hard enough to fucking get of someone who lives in Palace Verdes where it's over there, like hard enough to get a relationship that lives around the corner to work, let alone a long distance. So without intentionality, without a game plan, without regular contact, it's going to be difficult. And so, you know, but Jonathan, he's the only guy that I have chemistry with. And I'm being being a bit dramatic. Listen, without a game plan, it's going to be tough. Anyways, thank you so much. Mama Kin says, I suggest Matthew Hussie, although he gears his talks towards what I say younger women, he may still find common ground. Plus, it's like getting advice from a grown Harry Potter. You know, it's funny. I've always thought Matthew Hussie reminds me of a better looking version of Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, and a taller version. So a taller, better looking version. So that's funny you say that, Mama Kin. Thank you so much. Ah, let's see. Powder River says more Saturdays. OK, it's on the list. Reba says a quality relationship that is required before marriage. Got it. Lisa says, this has been great, Jonathan. Thank you so much. Oh, Corny Cobb. Maybe Steven Speaks, although from what I've seen, he seems to cater more to women, though he keeps neutral at times. You know what, Steven Speaks is another guy that I watch. I think he's got great content. I have a great deal of respect for him. You know, what I like about the men that we just talked about is that there. So here's the thing about men that I think are different than female coaches. This is a judgment on my part. Let me just own this. For the most part, the men I just suggested, they're coming from a heart-centric place. I really do believe they're coming from a heart-centric place. I think women coaches oftentimes give advice to women based on the premise of princess energy, so they're trying to sell this feminine energy, this princess energy, and they're gearing to the fantasy of prince charming. OK, so it's funny about prince charming. Have you ever seen the the animated movie called Happily Never After Happily Never After? I'm going to wrap up on this note. So it's about I think it's played with, oh, God, Freddie Prince, Jr. and who's his wife? Oh, God, escapes me. I watched a bunch of movies with them back in the past. It's the animated. It's about Prince Charming and Cinderella. But Prince Charming turns out to be he's the best looking guy in town. He's got the richest parents in town. He's he's like the he's the idolized person that women want. OK, and Prince Charming has a valet that works with him, that takes care of all his stuff. OK, probably by Freddie Prince, Jr. And turns out Prince Charming is a bumbling idiot. I mean, he's just a buffoon. OK, because behind the curtain, he's just he's kind of a dunce. And Freddie Prince, Jr. is kind of cleaning up after him, so to speak. And Cinderella is dumbfounded by Prince Charming. But when she realizes that Freddie Prince, Jr. is the real deal, she chooses the valet over the prince at the end of the movie. I'm kind of giving it away, but I think it's pretty obvious. The point is, you know, Prince Charming is just a narrative we oftentimes see in the outside of a person, but what matters most is the inner heart of a person. Because when we can throw away the box of what we are looking for, and I'm going to talk about that box because I originally created a box. And thankfully. Because my girlfriend didn't fit the box I was looking for. But what she has is all the qualities. Of what truly makes a great partner. And when I could see beyond the fog, if you will, the box, I could actually see this person that requires making your net as wide as possible in the sense of they have to you. They have to establish their their character first. Do their actions match their words? Do they have Victor consciousness? Do they know how to actively listen and fight fair in in relation in when there's friction? Do they have a sense of empathy and empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings. Empathy is do they genuinely care about your feelings? And lastly, and what I appreciated most about her is she was transparent. And she shared with me a lot of things that she didn't have to share. But that proved to me that she stood with character and helped me see beyond the box that I had created. And I'll shoot a video about that sometime in the future. All right, you know what? I think this would be a great place to wrap up today. Oh, Lexi says women are groomed for Prince Charming types and men are groomed through pornography. Sadly, that is true. Let's see. Something about red out. Anyway, folks, I think this would be a great place. Thank you so much for allowing me into your home today to have this share. I really appreciate it. This has been a lot of fun to do some Saturday mornings with Jonathan. Maybe that might be a new title. My girlfriend will probably be asleep when we do these. So be a perfect time to start the day with her afterwards when she returns. Listen, I'm truly grateful for the love, kindness you all share towards me. I appreciate your comments. Post a comment below. Please, if you have something to say, please like my channel. Please share if you want support and need some help, sketch out a discovery call with me, check out the links below. If you want to read the dating vows, it's listed below. I hope I'm making a difference in your life. And I want you all to go out and find amazing relationship and if I can be helping that capacity, I'd be honored to be your coach. All right, I think this would be a great place to wrap up today. First off, I'm going to give myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Barrett of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's OK. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow. You've entered them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, there's a teddy bear. And we could all use more love in our lives. All right, I want to thank Lisa and Stormi and and Amanda and Elena and Lena and Lexi and Linda and Elena. I just said that, Pam, pretty, Reba, powder, Gloria, Mama Ken, defending moments, everyone big hugs to you all. Thank you so much. Wishing you a fab day by now.