 They come here stay for a week and a lot of guys girls guys and girls come in and they think okay. I'm gonna learn You know how to be But more charismatic, but then we kind of Call it hiding the broccoli where we're like, okay Here's what you think you want to learn and we'll get there But you really probably need to learn all this other stuff too like yeah all this weird shit You're doing that's pissing everyone off or habits. Yeah, my children learned that my son had to learn that He wasn't picking up on cues And we had a guy work with him it cost me a fortune, but it worked really is he is your son In his own little world, right? Yeah, he's in his own little world like I was But he had trouble kind of picking up on verbal cues He had trouble on actually not nonverbal cues So so he wasn't aware of how what his effect that was on other kids Also, yeah, and also he was kind of like He liked being on his own, you know, I mean he's he tends to be in his own world in his own imagination Which is good, but it's also a problem if this is private we can edit it out by the way. I don't mind up to you But I know I mean it's fine. He's five. So give me a break, you know, yeah It's important for parents to hear that stuff. I think when you know, yeah when you're five I mean at least four at the time and and and so You know all kids are gonna have some issue and and it's a question of sometimes they all grow it and in other times You know, you you have to first of all the greatest thing I ever heard was Khalil Gibran said your children come through you and not from you So this idea that you know, I mean my son is very much like me, you know, I recognize Certain aspects of his personality where he is on the outside looking in all the time He's well. He has a very strong imagination. So his imagination keeps him company and that was always the case with me So I I know how to foster that or at least leave that alone And then the other things are up to experts. You have to be careful, of course in this world because everybody's an expert Yeah, I've noticed that as well I mean even And doing what we do here going back to what you asked me It's tough because people go what qualifies you and it's like well, I can't really just say I'm not an idiot and the stuff actually works, but I also have a law degree I don't have a degree in nonverbal communication science or psychology So I've been applying all this stuff within our coaching team has been applying all this stuff But we can't point to this piece of paper on the wall But we get people with pieces of paper on the wall going actually, let's try it this way and it's complete bullshit It's just like a theory They came up with that they think maybe should work based on a bunch of books that they read which which is valid in some way But if you test it and it doesn't work, let it go That's right. You got to be responsive to the evidence and you've got a there's got to be measurable You know there's got to be measurable results And so I've always been skeptical of all the psychology, but I have to tell you I've been to I I when you have a when you're married and you're trying to raise kids you you have I have a very different culture than my wife She's like very Germanic and Swedish and I'm very southern Italian and you know grew up in chaos and she grew up in order When you're trying to raise two human beings, you better be on the same page There are experts and we've seen them that get you on the same page I look I spoke to this woman who a betty brawn And she wrote a book called you're not the boss of me in another book. I can't remember but Uh, let me tell you man two sessions with her and she I was doing everything wrong raising my kids My idea of raising my kids was instinct. Uh, do what I say. I'll kick your ass. I'm a guy I'm I'm gonna raise you the way you know traditionally with discipline and don't talk back blah blah blah And then you get someone like her who's been doing it forever and raised three kids of her own And she goes let let me just here's a couple Ideas. Oh and by the way, here's how a kid thinks it's exactly like when you train a dog People who train dogs. They go when the dog does something bad to go, you know You know rex no Well, all right, or the dog goes to the bathroom, then you punish the dog that shit doesn't work There are techniques. I watch people play tennis. I love tennis I I spent a lot of money on lessons from a really good playing pro You know why because I want to be a good tennis player So my grip and how I swing all that shit matters where my feet are all of it Okay, it's the same thing with boxing. Why do I box with Wayne McCulloch? Who's who's a world champion? Am I worthy of that? Am I ever gonna be a great boxer? Of course not But I like learning how to actually fight from a guy who fought who's really good Because technique because you can show me all the shit I'm doing wrong Everything I think is right is wrong Tennis is exactly the same way So I watch guys play in tennis on the court and they're they're playing I can't watch their stroke. It's so offensive to me I'm just like how about and they're mad at themselves because they can't they're hitting it in the net Hey, dude, take one lesson Take I took one lesson and the teacher goes He goes, um I'm sorry to say this but you're doing everything wrong That's great. It's the best or or when I when I meet with this woman Betsy Braun She goes, um, you're doing everything wrong And I go, huh? And then she gives me a couple pointers and my communication with my kids Increases seven fold and I'm seven fold more effective Now, why wouldn't you do that in your life? You don't know everything There are people that have studied this stuff that can help you and make shit so much easier and that's What I'm always amazed at it how people just somehow hold on we all do it But they hold on to their way of doing things They don't want help and they hold on to their sort of patterns. Yeah, of course And some of that's ego. I think a lot of it probably maybe even the majority of it is ego Yeah, but let go man. Let it go. I I'm tired. I'm tired of that too. Yeah ego is not working Look, you got to ask yourself. How is it going? Uh, you know, this is like these people who get into relationships where they ensure their own failure They they they date people that are unavailable or they date abusive people or whatever. What are you doing, man? I don't care. I hey, I don't give a shit about your psychology anymore. I don't care How old are you? You're 30 and then everything in your past doesn't matter anymore. I don't care I do not care. I want technique. What's it? What's it? Let's fix this problem You know, one of my favorite questions is how's that working out for you because and people get fucking angry when you say that because they're like Well, this thing, you know and with her and it's different with her because this way and that way and it's like Well, okay, how's that working out for you? And they're like, well, you know, it's shit But but how dare you and I'm like, no I mean you're not allowed to come one of my rules with my friends is you can complain all you want all you want but If you ask for advice and I give it to you and you don't take it And then you have the exact same problem next week. You're not allowed to complain about that particular problem anymore Because we're not even iterating at that point. You're just making the same mistake over and over. I think people like me I think people are comfortable in that. I actually think that the biggest obstacle is In all people this is turning into a tony robin seminar But yeah, but the biggest obstacle is that people Don't want what they think they don't they don't really want what they say they want And so they they they layer a bunch of bullshit on their life So they'll they'll take a job that gives them no time to do what they really want They'll get in a relationship that gives them no time to do what they really want We all do this and and the people that are that not only can confront When they're You know Doing a bunch of bullshit, but also Having friends around you that call you on that stuff That's I have good friends. I have friends will be like, hey, bro I don't think you're working hard enough And I'm 50 and I have friends like that. Yeah, and they're right And it's cold truth, too And you can't and you know you can't get mad at them for saying that because they're the most valuable friends that you have I'm comfortable in all of it. I'm not good at anything. Okay. I mean, I'm good at stand-up But I mean even that like like you're always it's always an adjustment. It's always oh, let's readjust my approach Or or okay, so I'm guess what I'm you come see me for one hour and I promise you I promise you I'll make you laugh as hard as you've ever laughed in your life. That's a fact I don't even know you and I'll tell you that you have any doubts come please That's how long I've been doing stand-up. I have a bag of tricks, right? It's like being a magician. Okay, but Let me tell you as soon as I shoot my special. I got to reinvent myself I got to do it all over again and every time I start. I'm not sure I can I'm like, I don't know Maybe I maybe I've blown my load. Maybe it's no longer funny. Like I can't do any more of this Yeah, for the first like three months. It's rough But that's what's beautiful about it. So everything is that way, you know, everything I don't care what it is What is it about that that makes you want to go back to the drawing board because it seems like discovery Because you had to do that your whole life, right? You grew up all over the world, right? So you probably had to make new friends all the time Figure out how to go into a new culture all the time. Did you have to learn? Did you learn the languages in the place where you were a little bit of arabic? I spoke french pretty well But I went to international schools which meant that the language was english But you know, you always had friends from everywhere sure But yes, the answer is I became a comic I think if I look back on it, my life was pretty chaotic. I had great parents But it was a very chaotic upbringing, you know, if you compare it to most people because I was moved every Year, you know every year and a half practically remember when I was 31 I put 32 I bought a house and I put um things on the wall And it dawned on me that I'd never put anything on a wall because there was no point There's no there's no there wasn't enough stability to even bother like why decorate this It's literally going to be I don't want to pack this and yeah eight months That's right. So you would be so my father would come home and say, you know I was born in the Philippines and then I lived in Bombay and then Calco which is now Mumbai and then Calcutta and then My sister was born in Bombay and then and then We moved to Lebanon and then we moved to Pakistan and then we moved back to Lebanon And the war broke out. So we got evacuated to Greece and then we lived in Saudi Arabia So when you have a dog or you have you're starting to make friends after a year and your dad comes home and says Guess where we're going? We can either go to the Ivory Coast or Saudi Arabia. You're like, but I but I got my dog and I got my friends and well, you know Sorry, bro. Yeah, and and thank God by the way And the reason I say that is because I had to learn very quickly. I love people So I wanted people to like me. So there are two ways you get dudes to accept you You you're a jackass and you make them laugh and you better not be the last guy picked on the team You got to be kind of an athlete a little bit and thank God. I was sort of athletic You know and and and that's how you that's how and so I learned how to adapt very quickly So what I finally went to boarding school in massachusetts because my family was still in Saudi Arabia It was nothing for me. It was like, uh, oh new new setting knew nothing Then you have to learn how to kind of like plant roots Yeah, that's uh, how do you even learn that process because for most of us it comes naturally, right? I was born in one place. I stayed there for 17 years Roots happen and then I moved to Germany as an exchange student And I was like this sucks. This place is defective and then after four months I was like, oh wait, I can do this But it's a hard-ass process and most of the people who were exchange students with me They didn't make it the whole year. They left really. Yeah, it's very tough for people for me. It was the norm so um, and then you start to Embrace that sort of trauma or that fucking trauma such a dramatic word You embrace the chaos and you start to like the idea that something new is around the corner There's a there's discovery, you know Hunter Mots who I do mixed martial art mixed mental arts with said He was talking about alvin toffler I think who wrote a book he's a futurist who said the people in this economy in the 21st century economy are those that are going to learn unlearn and relearn And that's what it's going to take and I don't think it's ever been that different I do think that we are now living in chaos to an extent. I think that we are You know, there there's so many different voices and so many different forces pulling us in all different directions So I think that uh, you better be able to adapt you better be a river and not a pond I agree. I I think it's probably just as it's always been like you said, but the speed is just amped Uh, it's been turned up to 11 from like three in the 80s And that's okay You know if you talk to bodybuilders and you say I want to build muscle The first thing they say is you got to confuse your central nervous system In other words, you can't if you do the same work out every day your body's going to get used to it And you're not going to grow So bodybuilders always know that every time they go into the gym, they're doing something different to confuse this So they're their their central nervous system is always playing catch up In other words, they're not giving their muscles time to be efficient At the exercise because your muscles will learn how to be really efficient and you actually won't put on a lot of muscle So what they do is they constantly confuse their muscles so that they keep tearing them down the body has to keep building them back up It's kind of an interesting metaphor for building armor, you know, or or kind of getting better at something Yeah, if it if it translates, which it seems like it should but it's always it's always easy to assume like well The bodybuilding thing works this way. So maybe the social skills work that way too and it's like well Yeah, maybe Well, you know, listen some things are not linear. Yeah, right. I mean some things aren't uh, Those are the hardest things when you have to be somewhat lateral you have to you know, like um You can get very you can be very disciplined in life and you can win you can be very efficient, right? You can be very efficient and you can be very uh goal oriented and you can Use that line and cross off all your goals. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll also be interesting I think to be interesting you have to be a little self-destructive You have to be a little vulnerable all the time Sure You have to be uh, you have to take the checkers board or the chess board and throw it in the air Sometimes you just got to say fuck it and that's a that's a very something reckless It's sort of a comedian outlook on things, right? I feel like a lot of comedians say similar things and it seems like when sort of the environment that you came out of earlier growing up in the Philippines, Saudi Arabia and what was Lebanon among other places Usually comedy From what I'm this is by no means an exhaustive survey comes out of like well I came out of this simple life and now I'm doing comedy in the big city But you kind of came from an even more complex environment and now you're you're coming from the opposite direction I would imagine you probably got a lot of flack coming from banker family moving around internationally And you're like I want to be a comedian and they're like wait Where did we go wrong or like don't do that go to an ivy? Yeah, I knew that too though I knew my poor father and my mother very smart people by the way But but um, I knew that it was going to be very hard for my father because he grew up poor and he grew up And and I reminded him I was a dreamer, right? I he just didn't understand me and he shouldn't have it was not his fault. I was just I'm you know, I have an imagination and I was uh, I was just a weird kid man I mean, I grew up so differently than this wisconsin This guy from will walkie who grew up sort of with blue collar roots And here I was living overseas and my father was a banker and I never wanted for anything And and I was a happy-go-lucky jackass Right, I mean that was my defense mechanism to be a complete idiot So uh, not a very good student or any of that stuff So for him, he thought I was going to be a failure And it wasn't really he was worried that he was going to have to support me the rest of his life because I wanted to be an actor Of course, I wanted to be an actor. I wanted all the attention You know and and I don't blame him. He was just it was for a long time It was very difficult for him until I got mad tv. Yeah, but but again, I I listened to that little voice I knew that if I didn't and if I wasn't and I remember I said to him We were in south bent Indiana to we went and saw a Notre Dame game. He flew me out there He had a little a Cessna a little, you know Plain and we flew out there together and I said hey, man If I keep trying to be like you A banker or whatever. I'm gonna I don't I'm gonna fail at life I don't like myself because I'm doing that now. I was working at Lehman Brothers I said, I don't like myself I'm starting to not like myself because I'm not being honest. Yeah, I have to be an actor and he I could see his face the horror But you know, he's such a wise guy and he said Well, you got my money. I'll pay your rent And I never forgot that, you know, because he figured this kid's probably gonna fail But I'm not gonna have him make ends meet. I had to do that I'm gonna pay his rent in New York City So you can focus on theater school and that's what I did. I never had to worry about having a job I I had the luxury Of being able to call my dad when I needed money All the way into my 20s and and But I could go to theater school and I could I could spend time Using my imagination. My father recently said you would have been successful regardless because I'm so driven I don't know if that's true. My personality was always a goal oriented personality I think I was always gonna I always accomplished something right as a wrestler or was that whatever it was I always I I always would find my way. I always wanted to be the guy people were talking about But I don't know if that's true. I certainly made it much easier I was gonna say that he must have seen something and you like you look you're not lazy You might have been a crappy student or mediocre student But you weren't lazy. No, so he just he just saw really I was I was by the time I said that to him I had already been a pretty good high school wrestler. You know, I mean, I don't go into that I mean I got too many friends who are real wrestlers and real badasses. But but as a kid I was good I was I was uh, I'd been really good at judo at one tournaments and I'd won a lot of stuff and as a wrestler And I that's a wrestling's a hard sport So he knew that I suck and weight and and I did really well by my senior year So he saw that, you know, he saw my record and he saw and then and then I got my black belt in Taekwondo It's every lot of people have that black belt is not a big deal, but I worked hard for it I mean he could see that I it's just sticking with it for that long Yeah, he could see that I had I would finish everything. I finished college. I I never I wasn't the guy who didn't finish things So I think that he at least saw a track record of this guy who's maybe an idiot But at least was able to finish things, you know, and also I mean look I came from a Wall Street background as well I used to be an attorney working for layman brothers as one of my clients So your dad working for a bank like that. He knows it's not this isn't something where you go Man, I'm just so glad I'm working at this investment bank making big changes to the world Like it's it. He's doing it because he grew up poor I imagine and went this is a lot of money and I can have a great life for my family He knew you don't have to do the same thing In fact, it's kind of the next step in the evolution that you don't have to rely so hard On making ends meet that you're working at a job, which maybe he didn't love every day. Oh, man. Yeah I mean listen There was a probably a time when he resented my upbringing because the guy was the greatest father in the world But I never I didn't I didn't know how to Compare him to yeah, you don't have a basis for comparison at all. So he didn't feel appreciated I don't blame him. I again I swear to god, man, they look I I hear myself talking about wrestling and tag one Sometimes I annoy myself like if I if I could go back If I could go back and talk to myself When I was 21 and I'm 50 now I'd probably smile I'd slap I'd slap that guy a couple times in the face just for the fuck of it Because I'm as they hey, you're nothing stop being cocky because you're nothing and you know it And then I'd say learn what not to think about Try to focus on one thing at a time What does that mean learn what not to think about? I think that's probably there's probably some serious value in there I never heard that before so you grow up thinking that there's um A great deal of deficit in your personality or in your repertoire or in your Your persona in general and so what you do is you say well, I got to do this I gotta do that But in fact and I think that there is a great deal of value in realizing that you know nothing And that everything takes work and and the universe works that way everything takes technique and skill and and daily attendance Okay, so if you want to be good at anything whether it's jujitsu or the piano You better practice every day under good tutelage. Okay, and and certain teachers can really help you make leaps and bounds versus others But you're always going to go through plateaus. You're always going to go through Regressions and then you'll have uh Times when you make incredible progress. Okay, so understand that every day Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes you regress But that's what happened that day And and anytime you're trying to accomplish something it's one continuous mistake It's always going to be one continuous mistake and keep readjusting your approach until you get a little closer So nothing I don't believe in any I don't believe in any quick fixes. I don't believe in any Um any transformations overnight. I don't believe in any transformations after a year I think that you can make real progress, but just please understand that everything's a verb your relationship your body your Accomplishments, it's all a verb. Nothing's a noun. There's no getting there, right? So within that having said all of that there is it goes back to what we were talking about before You are going to be distracted And you're going to think that you've got to do all these things first before you do that or whatever it might be I believe that mental toughness Comes from learning what not to indulge in So i'm having a bad day You know, uh, my feeling's got hurt over here You can choose you can choose to think about that and indulge that or Or you can choose to not think about that and just take that energy all it is is energy and refocus it on Whatever you want to accomplish. So I I I've been doing the Goldbergs for three years It's been awesome And I they gave me a spin-off Which was my own tv show with tim meadows and neo long and anna gas tire and Olivia octavia spencer was doing the voiceover. I mean we had an all-star cast And these two great kids and it was an incredible pilot with adam goldberg and mark furick who wrote on the family guy I mean it was a an all-star group of people that we did a pilot that tested higher than the goldberg Okay, this is from adam goldberg himself. It tested higher than abc's hit My character at sony tested 58. I think the average sitcom character gets 45. My character was 58 So the whole thing it was all a success. It was the biggest thing in the world You're looking at like a pretty bright dude. It was it was worth a million dollars for me after taxes, okay? It didn't go It just didn't go everything made it and it didn't work out and as an actor at 50 Let me tell you something. You don't get a lot of shots like that where they they make a show around you That might be my only shot so i'm in denver and I get the call Unfortunately, they didn't pick us up So about a long time ago. That would have well not even that long ago. That would have devastated me Or it would have just been such a bummer because I would have thought to myself Maybe this is my I would have asked all the wrong questions. What if this is my last shot, right? What if this will never happen again? What if you know? I dude I I heard the news I went for a walk called a couple people who really wanted to know and gave them the news And then you know what I did I went and worked out like a motherfucker. I worked out And then I sat down and I started writing I just sat down and used that energy and I just started writing a bunch of new jokes And then I went destroyed I was in denver and I had a sold-out crowd two sold-out shows and I fucking destroyed that room And then I came back and I wrote some more I wrote more and I'm telling you that I haven't thought about it since I really haven't Everybody's like, oh my god, it must be such a bummer. No, it's not. It's the business It's like playing a football. I hurt my knee. I'm not going to indulge in my knee It doesn't matter. You just keep moving forward. So I learned what not to think about I learned I learned what not to indulge in how long did that take you? It I'm 50. Yeah forever, which I thought was but it doesn't have to it doesn't have to Thank you. Yeah, I did. I looked at your IMDB and I was like 50 No, that guy isn't 50. This is all messed up And then I looked at the amount of stuff that you've been in And I know how a little bit of how auditioning works here in Hollywood not not very much But I thought if you've been in that much stuff That means you've auditioned for 10 times this amount of stuff. Oh, dude. I've failed I've failed 1 million times in this business over 23 years. So I like your attitude Thank you for talking about how tight my skin is. That's what that was that's what I've been taking Yeah, yeah, but um that but that's the idea that so so so so it took me a long time But it doesn't have to it doesn't have to again. These are just ideas all of us all of us are capable of of Applying these ideas when you hear somebody older like me And you're a young man and he says learn what not to think about And by the way, I got that from Elliott Hulse who's a strength conditioning coach And I heard him say this on a video And I was I don't know 40. I don't know. Maybe I was a young uh older 43 And I was like, why didn't I ever think about that? Well, and then I then I extrapolated and I was like everything is a process of deletion Everything is when you write a script. What do you do the huge part is what are you not putting in? So much of thinking is that way so much of thinking so much of learning and getting better at something is just Do what you're told get out of your own way Relax let the racket do all the work when you're boxing. Let let just relax. Let let your arms go You don't stop thinking stop thinking. I think Einstein said thinking is the enemy of perfection I don't like these these platitudes I don't I don't like bumper stickers. Yeah, because it doesn't help you at all We riff on that all the time But there are ideas there are ideas that there are um perspectives and there are Techniques another great technique that I heard Tony Robbins one time said I was going to make fun of him I listened to every one of his tapes because I was writing a tv show about a self-help guru and I ended up becoming like I was like, oh my god, this guy's way too smart to make fun of and he actually had a lot to say Again, I'm very skeptical of the self-help gurus do the work do the job But he said something really interesting said most people have a primary question in their brain And that primary question is usually very unhelpful. It's usually like what if I am I lovable? Yeah, how am I gonna get famous? What if I fail? Yeah, it was not even that I mean, how am I going famous would be a better question. But you know, in other words, that might be the wrong priority But yeah, but you know, people are like, what if I yeah, what if I can't do this? What if I suck what if and he said just reprogram your your your brain to ask a better question Ask an empowering question What action do I have to take today to get closer to who I want to be? Who do I really want to be? It's a huge question Well, what do I really want the end is when you write a script John Truby's book the anatomy of story if you ever write that's what you should read And he said the character is based on, you know, the through line is the character has a desire Character wants something But they give that up in a good movie for what they actually need for what they need. Yeah Yeah, so so what you want versus what you need are two very different things Often some relationship or romance for Hollywood purposes, but it does bring up a good point Why Strive so hard in the acting arena when all the articles all the research is like my heart's in stand-up I love stand-up. I can make money doing stand-up. I make myself feel better from rejection by going to do stand-up Why even bother with all the other stuff? Why why not just focus only on stand-up? Because self-expression Is too fun in many other different forms I because acting has come to me and I love it and I love working with people Especially like on a show like the Goldbergs. They're all hilarious. So and and because I can So I love acting. I love stand-up, which is its own thing. It's a solitary experience But acting is a collaborative experience. So I want both Um, why not? Uh, why do I work hard at my tennis game? Why do I spend a fortune playing paying pros to hit with me and which will never return on that investment monetarily? I suppose like my the guy said recently said yeah, you could be a you could be a level five player in playing tournaments Could I awesome that that's that's yeah I guess if I really applied myself do I don't give a shit. I just love Thinking I'm good. I like watching myself get better I love hitting in a way that I never thought was possible And it has nothing to do with anybody watching. It's just that I'm I'm then applying that to boxing like I never thought Three years ago. I was like, I want to learn how to box right? I want to learn how to fight Like I want to get in the ring and move around and stuff I don't I'm not I'm not gonna beat good guys and and and you know, it doesn't make sense But it's really fun to hit dudes and and and spar and my I'm nervous And I'm wearing a headgear and you get hit and sometimes I get hurt it hurts I know there's head trauma and stuff, but it's terrifying as long as you're not getting beat down I'm not, you know, listen sometimes you get hit and it's gonna hurt But I'm not fighting guys that are you get hurt when you when you spar with guys who aren't good It's the pros who are just tapping you and showing you shit that you don't get hurt You might get clipped a little but they're not they're not gonna beat up on you Yeah, but the point I'm making is that I like doing a lot of things. Sure. Why not focus on stand-up? Maybe I'd be the greatest I don't know who knows when you focus on just one thing and you're obsessive. I'm not that kind of person I don't want to obsess about multiple things at once. I just like I have a lot of different interests You know my podcast all that stuff with physical skills. It sounds like you are with me with like languages and stuff like that I love I'll pick up a new language any excuse that I can and people will always go Why are you taking Chinese lessons and I'm like Well, I like being able to speak Chinese and getting better at Chinese Why do you want to learn how to read the german equivalent of the new yorker and native german? I don't know because I my german level has been stuck where it is since high school and It's kind of stupid to leave bothers you, right? It does bugs you it bugs in your head That's what was doing that was what was going on with tennis and with uh With boxing like it bothered me at least I got stuck and I was like I played I was in beer It's and I played tennis I sucked and I was watching these women these professional satellite pros play And I was like I want to play like that. I want to be able to hit like that. I was embarrassed I was I was fucking embarrassed that I was hitting the way I was I was embarrassed And it sounds so stupid, but I was like I'm gonna learn how to hit really well. I'm done I'm gonna fuck and I and it bothered me. So I I addressed it Would you like that as a kid though, too? Was it like all right? I got to keep going in this direction Or was it just no probably I probably was I mean if I think back on it. I was I didn't have the opportunity. I wish I had I was just moved around too much So I didn't have any, you know, I always wanted to be into karate I wanted to be like, you know, learn how to fight that, you know, then I found judo But I really wanted to learn how to kick and punch and and then I went then I when I was 14 I I literally went to boarding school so I could be a wrestler like I literally This is so silly, but I wanted to be a big muscular guy Of course, I wasn't and I never would be but in my mind I was like I want I want to I want to wrestle because I saw this I saw this I saw this movie and this guy was a wrestler and he was all he had these big muscles And I was like that fucking bad ass this guy can pick dudes up and throw them on their head And I was always skinny and and my father was big and I always felt like so I was ashamed of my frailty I was ashamed of being a skinny boy who couldn't Um, I have such an I have I'm a type A personality probably. Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah, given what's going on here I feel like that's accurate. Yeah, and so I I I wanted to be um a guy I watched these two kids fight and I was they were big and strong And I said I wouldn't know what to do and it bothered me that I was afraid And that I that I didn't know how to defend myself So the first thing I did 14 years old I went to boarding school and I joined the wrestling team Terrified but I had had judo experience I knew how to do things, but it didn't help me in wrestling And I remember running stairs and I was this skinny. I think I wrestled at 110 pounds at 14 or even lighter. But yeah, so the the point is that You know, you you sometimes you do things because there's a deficit. There's a deficit you're you don't like yourself I don't think it's I don't think it's imperative to like yourself Everything I've done is because I don't like myself everything I've done is because I think I'm incomplete Everything I everything I continue to do is because I I'm at 50. I work out and I look in the mirror naked Hoping something is going to change Oh, it'll change. Yeah, it'll change man. That's right. That's what I hear seriously. It's it's it's ridiculous, but You're probably the same way Yeah, you want to learn like why that's so funny that you say that your german Is stuck where it was at high school. Yeah, of course you want to get better. Why who the fuck knows so you can have it There's no real utility behind it because the teachers always I take skype lessons and things like that and teachers always go So what are you gonna use this for and I go? Nothing I'm probably just going to speak german sometimes mostly to you and they go So you want to learn how to do complicated kind of like reading on philosophy or political science That even germans are like, uh, it's it's you know, it's a hitter. It's an acquired taste this magazine Yeah, and like der spiegel which is like the kind of new yorker or whatever And and they're like you you can just click translate on the top of the page It'll translate to english they have english editions and I'm like that's not what I want to do though I want to go to germany and fool people Into thinking like oh this guy's an educated german and he's like why and i'm like there's no reason I get that No, I get it. I totally get it and I think it's great for your brain And I think it's you know, um, I I was speaking to two actresses yesterday who are having a hard time in this business What a surprise and this business is fucking rough on actresses Yeah, exactly as soon as you start getting a little older and losing your delicious god damn it This business is brutal and I said to both of them. I said Look, man, I don't have any advice on this business I don't know how to do anything But I do think that you should learn how to have a full life and I think sometimes when you when you Create the architecture the scaffolding for a full life Where you're in a dance class and you've got good friends and you're eating good food And you're you're in a cooking class and you're making your life even your little apartment perfect And and and you're you're you're taking care of your garden You're tending to your garden, you know, you're you're you're taking care of your body and the place you live And it's sunny and it's clean and you and and you're You're I don't know you're organizing salsa lessons and you're doing these things. I promise you I promise you that your career will get better regardless your life will your life will And maybe you know when I stopped trying and when I stopped looking Things started happening for me Do you think it's because you stopped looking so hard or do you think it's because you started to focus on other things? I don't know. I don't know. I wish I had a formula for it. I do. I think that it just maybe was um It created an open mindset. It created a creative mindset It just got me excited and passionate that I I that I don't have enough time in the day That I mean the joy I get from again working. I think about this like working on my stroke in tennis It's ridiculous, but it's exactly like the german thing. Yeah, it has absolutely no bearing on the physical world I'm never going to be able to you know, I just Love surprising myself that that's what matters. I like surprising myself. I like um Doing things that scare me There's something about shoring up perceived weaknesses that isn't necessarily good for making your strengths Stronger, but is good for you overall like jenny who you met my wife She we just got married last week So she's like we got to do a dance at the wedding because I want to do like a choreograph dance and that's my worst Frickin nightmare man like I would I was very against it But I thought I can't just say no Because I'm being a bad sport. I got to figure out how to do this So I went in the first four lessons. I probably said I hate every minute of this Every five minutes and the teacher was like I'm just gonna suffer with this guy or suffer this guy Is it are you doing ballroom or salsa? It was ballroom. Yeah, I did salsa and and that's and and I'll tell you right now Like I went through this dance classes and I hated it hated it hated it hated it And then in class number five or six out of 13 or 12 I went oh I can do this and I'm getting better at it and my growth curve hockey sticked up to where the teacher went I've never seen a transformation like this. You actually like dancing You can do it and I remember going home and thinking this is something I literally thought in my whole life I would always avoid and never do And now I enjoy it. I'm not trying to be a competitive ballroom day. No, but I get it I get it. We're on the same page. It's awesome. Yeah, and is it funny how you try something like that and it's Like, you know, um, there's a great Oh my god, if you guys ever get a chance anybody's listening the teaching company has Uh, I think it's daniel robinson And he is uh road scott. Well, he's a he's a professor both at oxford and at georgetown He's retired now and he has this incredible series called the greatest ideas in philosophy and um, he talks about how this There are plenty of examples of mathematicians who, you know, spend their lifetime in a room Trying to come up with a great sort of An impossible equation and in fact sometimes when you deal in theoretical math the You know, even the question itself like does this equation exist even that's Something that has to be proved. Sometimes the question has to be proved, right? I mean, they're dealing with very heavy theoretical It's not as the answer is 350 pages long Yeah Anyway, so this guy sits in a room all day and and comes out and says, um, I've thought up this theoretical Mathemat this equation. I think I've given I've got the answer it bears no Relevance on the physical world, but oh by the way, I'm gonna die now And he dies and so there it is it sits in a book And then about a hundred years later when they're trying to put a rover on mars or whatever Or they're trying to mine for minerals at the bottom of the sea eight miles deep That mathematical equation turns out to be directly relevant to the physical process of getting that drill eight miles down Or that rover on mars or whatever And that's what I think is incredible. That is incredible that eventually this metaphysical idea That originated in someone's brain that came to him in a dream in 1873 Uh now in 2017 bears direct relevance to the physical world Well, the the question that he had answered Didn't exist yet So he just put it in a book and then went to sleep and never woke up and now it's now what does that tell you about You know God or whatever you want to say. Yeah human potential isn't is incredible. Well, it's incredible, right? So so what does that tell you about all of it? Maybe we're just here to maybe these these answers have always existed and we're just here to discover them Sure to sort of like that's the other one the other way I think about creation is like I've said this a thousand times I repeat myself a lot, but flannery flannery o'connor who died of ms at 30 39 in the 30s great writer short stories and she um She said I sit at my typewriter every morning not to write but in case something happens So the idea is that if you're in the process if you're in the business of self expression Whether you're a writer whether you're a musician or a painter or whatever it might be an actor I don't know that Whatever comes with all the accomplishment matters. I think what matters is that You keep showing up and you keep seeing what works itself through you What is is the story that you're writing it already exists? Maybe it's up to you to show up every day until it keeps revealing itself to you piece by piece I think that's a good way to look at art. I think it's a good way to look at your life I think that you keep showing up and you keep taking honest actions and you keep telling yourself the truth and Slowly but surely you will put yourself together the way you are supposed to be And um, that's maybe my philosophy I'd like that. I think for a lot of folks out there, especially younger people they go Okay, that's great. And I'll probably think that way when I'm 52 But right now Where do I even begin like there's a lot of people? So I'll quote jordan peterson jordan peterson who everybody should listen to on joe rogan's podcast. He did two of them He said start by telling the truth And and I think there's a lot of truth that he said first of all Don't try to try to change the world and the economy. You have no business doing that. You're 18 20 25 You don't know shit about the fucking economy. You don't know shit about the world But keep your room clean. How clean is your room? How clean are you? How clean is your how clean are you? Are you taking care of yourself? Worry about yourself, bro. Worry about your circle you Are you in order get yourself in order? He's got this thing the self-authoring thing. That's very interesting Yeah, that's so we use a lot of that at a and c all it's amazing get yourself in order Get yourself together stop trying to change the world stop trying to you know, you don't know anything I understand that you know, this is idea to protest and stuff and there are things worthy of protest I get it get yourself in order and you'll have something to say and and I think that that's that's So so what do I say to young people learn what not to think about and sit down and ask yourself If you don't know what you want to do Ask yourself what you'd like people to say about you and maybe Maybe dream and see what what it is Investigate broaden your passion learn about what it is to be Um a journalist or learn what it is what the reality behind being an actor is or what are you really after? Ask yourself those questions. It's it's important and if you don't even know that man I believe in accomplishment. I don't care go get your black belt and jujitsu If you feel like a pansy Go go to a jujitsu class and just get your black belt get your blue belt Just start training learn how to box if you if you learn how to play the piano It's all the same. There's no difference between piano and jujitsu There's no difference in what happens to your brain and what happens to you as a person I don't care if it's a soft art or a hard art I think a lot of people they When they shore up these little weaknesses or these perceived weaknesses, which a lot of people they kind of they kind of Nay that they're like, oh, you know, we'll just focus on what you want to be great at forget everything else I don't I agree with you. I don't really believe in that because I think when you start Taking care of those areas that are bugging you it frees up bandwidth in the background You know, if you think oh, you know, I'm walking around. I'm a little bit in fear I get intimidated by people so you do the jujitsu thing or the judo thing or whatever You don't have to worry about that anymore other things start to unlock in your brain and in your psyche and you meet people Well, yeah, and you meet interesting like-minded people who are motivated and you'll make really good friends That's the other thing you'll create a community Which is so important and so underrated. Oh my god having a community I don't have any friends. Good. Go go do something you want to do I'm telling you go get go join that salsa class with your wife or go Go join that don't take that boxing class. I don't care what it is man I'm telling you you'll meet people. You'll create a community If you oh you you want to play the drums learn how to play the drums well enough So you can start a silly cover band. What a blast. Yeah, something that's not serious I know if the there's a 50 year old woman who was they were talking about who's as good as anybody right now She just said I'm gonna be good. She's 55 now started at 50 and she's so good in the drums So good and plays like every song. It's possible It's just and she just started for the hell of it. Yes 50. I always want to play the drums So she's like and I have time so she practiced three hours a day not that hard on the drums It just becomes addictive now. She plays in bands and she's so good. Do you play an instrument? I take drums You take drums as well. The answer is no But the answer is no Yeah What is your creative process look like when you're trying to create stuff? You said at one point you sat down after a frustrating rejection You started writing you stuff you obviously you can't just rely on Getting rejected harshly For creativity that would be a miserable way to do it Do you have ways that you kind of get inspired by that or does it just happen? I mean, uh, it's sometimes it's very difficult. So I I I don't have any uh sacred space for work So I think work is a mindset So, um, I learned how to start writing just right now So so I'm looking at you and I'm gonna look over at that camera That's that's the difference between work here. I'm talking to you and here's work Like do you understand what I mean? So all I'm doing is I'm talking to you and now I have to think about I have to solve a problem Really creativity is solving problems, right? You gotta you try to solve a problem if you're writing a story you gotta How do I get my character out of this corner? Let for example, I'm just gonna look over here and start thinking about the character I'm not gonna put anything on it. I'm not gonna put anything on it I'm not gonna wait till the temperature in the room where I've eaten or the dishes are out of the sink I'm just gonna start daydreaming. We all daydream It's the same shit You want to get better at anything you you a lot of times it happens in your brain Like I'll watch slow motion video of Roger Federer hitting I'm trying to mimic it. You're like, what are you doing? I'll do that for like a half hour It's my practice. Sure. So my creative process is um Is I just I just start I don't put anything on it Are you developing the same kind of intensity right now in your kids or trying to at all? You know, you have to be very careful with that So what I do is with my children is I I never um, so when I watch my daughter play tennis and She's nine. She's an athlete, but she's intense in your son. How old is he my son's five my daughter's intense My daughter is very competitive with herself Where does that come from? Not from me. It comes from my mother. I'm not a competitive. I'm not competitive Like I've never I don't have to win that I've never thought that that's maybe that hurts me, but It's more personal with me, but but um, she is you know, the other day she was playing tennis and she was she was having a meltdown She was like But she wouldn't quit she kept hitting she kept hitting so I say to her Like usually I'll say and I read this in a book. I'll say I think it was in the talent code, which is an amazing recoil. Yes, and I'll say um I love watching you play I could just watch you play all day and I don't give her any advice I let the teacher do that I don't want to be an overbearing father and I don't want to be a trophy dad And I have to let her find her way, but what I can do is create Like an inspiring and fun atmosphere So I'll go I love watching you play and then she had their meltdown and I sat down next time I go I gotta tell you man. I'm so impressed with you. It was maybe the best lesson I've seen She goes what and I go well Just like you were crying and having a meltdown because it's so frustrating tennis is so frustrating I throw my racket, but you didn't even quit you kept hitting Even through the tears. It was nuts. How'd you do that? How did you do that? Then my son who was a complete dreamer and you can't get a five-year-old to pay attention It's the end of the day. He's tired But but he he got 10 in a row toward the end. It was a 10 minute 15 minute lesson So I can handle but I was like, I can't believe you got better on the end How did you do that at the end like you were like playing around then at the end you got 10 in a row That's unbelievable to me And so I just kind of marvel at how great they are and then I'll say to my wife when they're there and they can hear me but they think I'm not I'll be like I gotta tell you man Stella her focus and her she just doesn't quit. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen She was having a meltdown and she still wouldn't quit and she was getting and she did better in her last one Even though I could never do that the same thing with my son. So I create a mythology sure great That's I love that idea I think a lot of people try to directly program their kids with Like here's why this is important and here's why you need to do this And it just ends up coming out in adulthood in all these weird ass ways even People wonder why teenagers are all screwed up all the time and half of it's that childhood programming Just kind of starting to rot and crack. So it goes back to what we were talking about in the beginning There's a way to do things and that technique doesn't work as well as And I didn't know how to do what I'm talking about. I just talk to people who are experts I don't doesn't my ideas. I'm not smart. I don't come up with that I don't know how to fucking do that, but I I read about it and I talked to people about it And I was and it made sense And once I read the books and I I listened to people. I was like, that's that's how you do it There's a way to be more effective. You can teach a kid how to ride a bike and swim That fast or you can take three years And I don't believe in I don't believe in any way in uh being a tyrant. I don't believe in domination Um, I think it's all a lie and I'm a pretty dominant Alpha or I'm an a type a personality You know, or at least I talk a big game But but you know, I do I'll talk about being is if I'm around a bunch of comedians or people who've never fought before You should hear me talk about boxing and wrestling. I'm a tough guy When I'm around real fighters friends of mine who are real fighters. Um, I'm I know to shut up. I know the difference I know that but But the point is that you have to be aware of that And you have to know that You're not a tough guy no matter who you are Your connor mcgregor is a real tough guy. He's a great mma fighter around chris wideman or brennan schaub or cain valazquez He is a monkey Compared to those apes, you know what i'm saying? There's a pecking order in life. Yeah, sure and and and so So don't think you're tough. I I hate a bully and I hate men who try to impose their will and dominate It doesn't work. It's it's it's artificial. It's an artificial thing. It's it's it's uh You're doing that in your tiny arena, but there are plenty of people that could do that to you And and jordan peterson was saying that any society and I would extrapolate to Any family That is ruled by the biggest strongest loudest voice with a club is not stable Yeah, I agree with that 100 and I think whenever we've we've talked with mma guys and things like that or i'll post something and i'll write like Some comment about how arrogance is not really truly confident because it's it's always slotted in this weird sort of Arbitrary hierarchy people almost always universally reply with some Insert name of mma champion here connor mcgregor is a common retort Well look at connor mcgregor that guy talks a lot of smack and he's really tough and i'm like I bet you and I write this I have no proof for this so thank you for this I bet you that connor mcgregor when he's around other fighters does not sit there talking a ton of shit He's the best. He's the best connor mcgregor is a very humble man Conor mcgregor is also a really good guy now. I know that from people who know him I've only met him once he did my podcast once but that's not a good gauge I know people that know him and I've seen how he behaves in defeat and in victory And people love that guy and he's great to his team. He's great to people He's a very very good man And um, I'm not to mention great and courageous. I mean he's greatness But and I love the guy, but but yes, you're right. He's not he may come across as cocky But nobody works harder I said to him I go, what's your what's your where do you get your confidence? He goes I work harder than anybody else I said everybody works hard. He goes they think they do they don't And you know, whether or not that's true that guy I can promise you he puts in the work and And again, I think I think it's because connor's so honest with himself Like he knows when he steps in that octagon. He's done everything he can He's done everything he can and he's gonna do everything he can and there's something about that It's a little scary though because it's always scary if you then fail you can't go. Well, you know, I didn't really focus on nobody braver than that guy Dude, he puts himself on the line. He talks the biggest game in front of the world ireland If he loses, oh my god, you'll never hear the dude. He's what you have to understand like I I've I've met I've spent enough time with him and Nate Diaz Nate's a big dude. Nate's a big man connor's much shorter than me connor's maybe five nine one sixty five How tall are you? I'm almost six feet. Okay, so so And you I you can see it on my instagram where he's standing next to me and you can see how much taller I'm not a big guy by any means and Nate is is much bigger than me frame-wise longer arms and everything else Connor fights him and me and brennan child looked at each other and covered our mouth and we're like He's just too small. He's not big enough for Nate. Nate's just too big. He hits too hard. He's just his His jujitsu is just he's just a bigger man bigger frame Connor they are all telling him don't do it connor said i'm gonna fight him again at 170 at 170 And everybody's like, oh no, not again. Don't let him do it. This is his ego. He comes in and he beats him up Knocks him down three times. I think in a in a war in a war, of course, Nate gave it back But this guy is this guy is amazing. If you understand what kind of guts that takes I mean, it's incredible and and you know There are guys. I don't want to see him fight kabeeb nigger met off I don't want to see him. I would never have wanted to see him fight frankie. I'd go there's certain guys But this dude is special He's special and you know, he believes he's great And when you fight him Those fighters No, he's they they they fall into the trance too They're like I this guy's bigger than me. He's bigger. He's he's a bigger phenomenon. He's a bigger force He's a life force Destiny is on his side, you know, it's very hard to fight a guy who Who really believes that he is the second comic. It's like some ices. Yes here They get in there and they're like all of a sudden they're in their head. All of a sudden they're rushing All of a sudden they're not throwing all of a sudden they're they're they're forgetting to circle left or they're forgetting to circle right And they're forgetting their whole game plan. Yeah, they're buying the albras was like I knew I was supposed to do this And I forgot it because the won the lights and everything and that guy who embraces That that role and takes the responsibility on full heartedly of being great So much I think of being great like I'll leave to talk about that Ali said I'm the greatest in the world. Well, he said I'm scared to death every time I get in there I'm talking to myself On that's that's to me He was putting himself in a trance When sonny listen when he was in that way in sonny listen Sonny thought he was actually crazy sonny thought he was gonna bite him Because because ali's pulse he was he kept trying to get at him And he was screaming and then sonny was like this dude's crazy, man Like I'm afraid of him. I think he might bite me Do you understand so so ali ali worked himself up into a like a trance. Yeah, but it was for him You know not not for anybody else. He had to do that for himself because guess what? He was terrified. I don't know and I know some great fighters personally I don't know a fighter Who's not terrified when they walk in that that that octagon? I know a couple who might not be but maybe they're not smart enough to be Self aware enough to yeah that are actually scared, but I know the baddest guys on the planet from donald serone They're all terrified Is there anything that you looking back and I mean you've you're you're on tv You're doing great in pretty much every arena of your life right now even in your relationships and with your kids and in bed That's what that's the rumor. Sorry. That's the rumor Is there anything that you've looked back on from the last 50 years and go? I wasted so much time on that whether it's a thought process or a skill relationship. Yeah Well, okay fine. Yeah, yeah, honestly. Yeah Yeah, I mean my my regret is I just didn't work hard enough at a lot of things maybe but maybe that's because I was supposed to Just be a comic I work hard at that Yeah, I think it's it's easy to look at my law career and go You know if I'd worked a little harder I could still be a lawyer and it's like That would be awful I don't want that. That's how I feel like I like I always say I should have wrestled in in college But I guess okay, so I would have wrestled in college. All right Dot dot mma And yeah, and that would have been I could have said I wrestled d1 in college at american university. Okay cool brah And I probably was then and then I'd probably be sitting here saying and I'd have cauliflower ears And I'd say yeah, I wrestled in college and I had a 500 career or whatever it was Yeah, and and I said I wish I had worked a little harder Whatever I would have said and then I would probably have the regret that I didn't take Drumming or the piano. Yeah, or I didn't or I didn't act enough or whatever the fuck it was I think I always have And you know and I bet you wanting to wrestle is I had the motivation behind that is wrong It's just would be because I want to say I wrestled So you thought I was a little tougher than I polish that trophy on the mantle one more Yeah, I want people I would want people to think I'm a little tougher than I am that that that's that's a that's a That's a Not a reason to do something I've well, yeah, I can't I couldn't agree more on that I think a lot of people look at opportunity cost and they go well shoot Should I also be focusing on that the reason I'm drawing this distinction is because you and I are talking about Shoring up weakness competing with yourself to get these new skills that aren't even that useful Well or it could be useful, but aren't ever going to be our career for example And I want to be really clear that you don't have to go around Learning and mastering every single thing that you might be interested in or that you should think that you're interested in because you will drive yourself That shit crazy doing it also keep in mind that getting good at one thing is the same as getting good at anything So the process you go through to get really good at tennis or boxing or piano or or german I mean there are differences, of course, but You will glean a great deal from any endeavor that you try to get really good at you. You'll have to confront deficits in your own personality in your own belief system and even in your What you are afraid of You know, you'll have to confront all those things to get better and to make the next step I believe that and I think that um There's a great book by josh weights can call the art of learning And he got really good at jujitsu and he was a chess master and he said when he was playing chess He was practicing jujitsu and he was practicing jujitsu. He was getting better at chess There's a there's a mindset that that sort of can transfer Yeah, and connecting lessons from one thing to another accomplishment learning how to accomplish learning how to learn is Is the point and again maybe also Leaving with a deeper understanding and which may be another way of saying you have more wisdom I think people that have accomplished things and and come up against themselves Develop wisdom. You can always tell when somebody's wise. You end up asking questions You end up feeling more comfortable in their presence, right? Sure wisdom is uh must be earned Wisdom is not something that's given to you and I think wisdom also is part of you know, maybe The the manifestation of coming to terms with your own limitations and and and accepting them being a person who's sort of I don't know if this is the right phrase but like addicted to accomplishment in many ways and and always going after something and always Working on something. Is there any advice that you might give to somebody to let go of something? That's not serving them because it's really easy to go. No and now I can't give up I just heard jordan and brian talk about getting these skills done and working super hard So that goes back to telling the truth. Yeah, that goes back to saying see again What did I just say about wrestling? I want to be a wrestler probably for the wrong reasons So I could be a little bit more accepted in the group of mma fighters. I I admire a little more street Yeah, or or just uh Or just you know having stories about being a wrestler and maybe I would have then gone on to get my black belt and jujitsu I think all of those things are probably if I'm really honest with myself for the wrong reasons I think I was jujitsu is a beautiful art and I and I actually should have gotten my black belt and jujitsu instead of my Blue belt, um, but by the time I came to it. I didn't care as much. I just didn't it just I just uh, I was too busy. I I had enough trouble getting good at stand up and An acting took a lot of my time and failing at that. I don't know I don't know the answer but I but I think um What I'm saying is be honest with yourself be honest with yourself man. First of all Do you have the skill deep? I'm never going to run punts back in the NFL Okay, yeah, I'm never going to be a great singer. I knew that I did I'm fucking when I was an actor I I looked in the mirror and I realized that I was a basically a white medium guy There's not a whole lot of desire like this is the guy we're looking for nothing about me that I'm sorry physically When I was young or now where people go, that's the look we're looking for no, that's the generic guy We can put anywhere. That's why I started doing stand up I was never going to be Christopher Walken and this great actor You know, I've had great moments on stage and in acting class But I was funny and I knew I was funny and I'd always been funny Then I learned how to really become professionally funny That was the path. I got honest with myself How do you get honest with yourself like if you had if you were listening to some kid who's 25 talk about Yeah, I'm gonna get I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna fight in the octagon I'm gonna do this acting thing and you're like, man, I know you're doing this because you think it's gonna get you women It's gonna get you respect that you never had as a kid These are all reasons that you you really need to take a good cold hard. Look at that What advice would you give that kid? So there was a guy who I was writing with briefly and he had a um I'm not kidding. We were writing he was writing the script and I saw a note above his Like typewriter his computer had said Think of all the houses cars and bitches. You're gonna get when you finish the script And I'm not exaggerating Of course, nothing ever happened for him. That was that was more than 10 years ago It was 15 years ago and I and I and I just looked at him and I realized that he Was just it wasn't even worth mentioning And I did mention it But I was like this is not this can't be the motivation, brother The motivation has got to be And I you know, listen, I used to see the shit in acting class I would go to my friend's house. I mean somebody in my acting class. We'd be working on our A scene for acting class and these people would have Cut out like they'd have time magazine and they put their face on it And it'd be it'd be like a dream board. Oh, man. They'd make a dream board Don't get me started on these with these uh affirmations. Sure And I don't believe in that shit. No, I think it's high tech procrastination It is and I think you're you're again. Oh, so you are going for you want to be the guy you want to be Oh, you want to be famous meaning you want everybody to look at you You know, you so you want the swimming pool and the big house. I get it. I do too. We all want money But I don't know how into acting you are and this is why you're acting isn't so good and this is why you're derivative Because you're not an actor because you're not I was always seduced by when I saw Robert De Niro in raging bull It changed my fucking life. I couldn't sleep When I listened to johnny 99 the live version of springsteen And then I started got into springsteen and listened to greetings from asbury park and that poetry He was writing when he was in his 20s I've never been the same bro It had not the feeling the overwhelming feeling of I guess a combination of joy and sadness that great art fills you with or that sort of glory the thing that makes you Cry you're not sad, but you're crying You know that makes you feel overwhelmingly generous That makes you feel like That's called inspiration. That's a religious experience, man. It's a mystical religious experience That's what changed my life Those were those seminal moments where I said if I don't get close to this feeling If I can't somehow get my fingers Wet dip my toe in this sacred pool Then I'm gonna die man. Then I'm my life is going to be wasted And I don't want to waste my life. I was terrified of regret And terrified of wasting my life That's where the motivation should come from Because you have to do this for the sake of its own doing. What did schiller say? Man is never more himself than when at play play being that what you do for its own sake That's what Motivates me. When did you have that experience because I think there's a lot of people listening right now that are going Oh, shit. I've never had that What am I gonna? Yes, you have First of all if you think about it and if you haven't go get it What what I mean look and it's not for everyone art is not for everyone Not everybody's creative and there's nothing wrong with that. Let me tell you something right now We need good nurses. We need good teachers and being teach being a teacher is creative We need good nurses. We need good. There are people that do work Good cops good police officers who know the difference We need these people firefighters. We need those people man and don't don't kid yourself If you're good at building kitchens, you're worth your weight in fucking gold If you know how to build something That's got integrity that you swear by and you do sublime work You are worth your weight in gold If you know how to put in flooring like nobody else You have no idea how valuable you are it that is that's when somebody is I'm having a hell of a time with my house And when you get a good craftsman, oh my god. Oh my god You know, you're you're doing your job when I bring my car into the dealership and the guy Fixes my car, but he knows what to do and he knows how to make my life easy You're worth your weight in gold, man. You're worth your weight in gold when you're a nurse at the at the or Or in the er or you are uh, I mean, you know, you're helping deliver babies and you're making that woman feel I've seen this with my own eyes You are so needed You're so needed when there's an old person and you're you're their caretaker And and you're there to help them and they really need you and they're lonely If you deliver meals on wheels and that's their only meal of the day You're more important than I am You're more important than I am You are this is why I never feel better than anybody else. That's another thing so You know, you can find great fulfillment. Oh my god You can find great fulfillment in the example you set for your Community and the example you set for your children It's your example I mean Those are the people I admire and they're as good as anybody and they and by the way By the way, they have as much an understanding or more Than anybody I know in new york or la and i'm not saying that I'm not just saying that there are farmers that I've met And they have a deeper understanding of life Than anybody on wall street. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. That's a that's a that's an objective truth so That's what I would say This is really becoming this motivational seminar But maybe i'm 50 and i'm I'm just trying to get people not to make the only reason I feel qualified to say this is I've made more mistakes than most people Who are younger than me. Well, that's fine. And that's great That's what one of the reasons one of the things we do on this show is try to get People's wisdom out of them and to be honest, you're doing you came in ready for action Obviously But I'd like to think that we we came in guns blazing on getting some of this out because I think it's really easy to look at A lot of folks who are successful and think I just have to work hard on this or look at a lot of folks and go I just have to keep at it or I just have to continue or I'm never that going to be that intense or I can't do this Or I'm not born with the raw talent. There's a million little things that go on and Very rarely do you find somebody who has accomplished As much as you have that also has a level of self-awareness that is able to explain How they got there or at least how they think they got there. Yeah, well, okay. Good. I hope I'm helpful Absolutely, man. Thank you so much for coming. Is there anything I haven't asked you that you're not good I I I just knew that hunter told me I had this podcast and I'm glad I did He had good things to say about you. I'm glad I got him fooled if no one else Thanks so much, man. Thank you