 Which is the right word to use. Yeah, there's a reason you don't hear people using this word much anymore. It's sort of outdated, clinical, and harkens back to a time when being gay was considered a mental illness. Which is why you're more likely to hear gay. And yes, gay meant happy before meant gay, but it also meant vivid, bright, rich. Remember gay old time, gay apparel? And though some people try to turn it around as a slur, so gay, it didn't stick. It really shouldn't say that something's gay when you mean it's bad. Thanks Hilary Duff. Which brings us to queer. Queer is great because it can describe anyone who is not straight or cisgender. Though not everyone likes it because of its previous wide use as a slur. But for many LGBTQIA folks, it signifies pride and rebellion after being reclaimed in the 1980s by queer activists. Good rule of thumb? Generally avoid the H word, but just deferred however someone wants to be identified.