 Welcome back to my channel guys. It is your girl Coco staffs and on this channel. We talk about beauty fashion lifestyle and styling So today is kind of like an impromptu video and I'm drinking my green juice guys I want to talk about friendship and Meeting new friends at a certain age, right? I have seen videos on tiktok where women are like meeting friends on like Almost like dating apps. I wouldn't do it. I'm still very much so like an introvert So and I'm very cautious on who I have around But some women they're like having successful time. I you know times meeting women like that or or whoever But meeting friends older the older you get it's I Don't want to say it's hard But I want to say that you are a lot more aware of the type of people you want to be around Now as a person who has been living on her own for very for a very long time as a young teen I've always been that person who was very Skeptical about surrounding myself with certain people If I'm around a person too long And I feel like they're kind of like draining my energy I will take a break from them or just you know not really hang out with them so much Meaning like if they are drama-filled Okay, I knew three people who were the same exact sign Literally have the same exact ways literally and it's crazy because like majority of my friends were that fine or They were either a Sagittarius or Scorpio and I was like, what is this right? But the ones who were sad They just were like, oh my goodness. It was just like Constant bickering not so much with us But I realized that any time we were go out and stuff It was just like drama, right? Or they felt like they had to address everything I'm a cancer. I really don't have time for it and I just feel like that type of energy It's just not for me, but I always said that Most women and men met well, I want to say for women women mostly most of us met our friends in high school Not many kind of went over to the adulthood if they did we kind of live far apart and we still speak but not every day But it's like we never lost touch if we spoke like twice a year But the other half of those friends you met at your work And those are great those are great friends, but they usually say don't meet friends at work But I think at that time when I did that was a time where We were all growing up still becoming adults in this new work field And we just all became cool kept working at work and kept outside stuff outside of work But the older you do get You are very cautious on letting people into your world, right? so It can look like you kind of standoffish from meeting people and stuff like that But in the reality, it's not the case you are the older you can I'm gonna say this at a 42 year old The older you get the more aware you are of the type of people you went around again I'm really bigger energy always been that way Never liked a lot of company Never lived near majority of my friends. I don't do a house pop-ups It's just not something I never did it. Okay. I don't like it. Don't pop up at my house guys It's just not something that you know, I am I don't I don't like it So my home is my sanctuary. So this is another reason why I don't have a lot of people in my home And to be quite honest my friends they know like they literally know how I am and they like Oh, you're so crazy, but they get it and While I am getting older and I do have certain friends I am realizing that some of my friends that you know, they will you know confide in me on certain things and Some of their friends are not really friends, right? You have users You have people who only come around if you can do something for them The moment you stop that is the moment you'll see their true colors, right? Even I'm gonna even go as far as to say it's family as well, right? They are the same way you have because most of us are like really tight with our family, right? But then you do have those family members that are very Greedy they take take take take until you stop giving so as a woman and this is my advice to women who are getting older even young girls Be mindful of who you are hanging around in your early teens young adult years Because that is gonna trickle over to your adult life. Okay, I grew up with a girl She ended up moving to another state and I realized that she completely changed everything about herself Not so much in a good way either So I didn't understand what happened, but then when we met up. I realized I said, ah, it's her environment She chose to be around a certain type of people and now she kind of fell into that trap and You know to each his own, but I know that's not where she came from. You understand So, you know, I'm not saying I showed a perfect life, but she definitely wasn't where she is today Like no, so It starts from young and to your teenage years Young adult years you start to pick up certain things that you know, you want around you I've always chosen to stick to a certain type of person and I'm like that today if something doesn't fly I'm out of there like Listen, you give me any weird vibes. I am the hell gone. Okay, and I'll give you another example Even if you are younger and you have older friends So I usually growing up I had like friends who are much older than myself And I just remember one lady She made a she made such a slick comment over the phone one day about Her most of her friends having more than her Except me and I had to think about it. I would say I didn't even say anything I didn't make a face. We were actually on FaceTime And I was saying to myself, I'm gonna let this slide today So I addressed it and I said I know when I addressed this with her. She's gonna laugh it off That's exactly what she did and I was saying to myself What type of under how are you literally in competition with a person with me, right? But I thought about it. I was like, ah, she's not a happy person. She's really not a happy person, you know And those are the things that you really have to look out for those little slick little comments People who do not who don't clap when you achieve something I'm really big on like propping up my friends that girl you got this you got this These two people two people never got the same response from them never addressed it, but I pay close attention and To be quite honest, I am so happy that I Am aware of stuff like this and before I used to feel like I using the word jealousy is just so Terrible, but the reality of it is some people are just literally jealous of you in your life And I always say this One particular girl I would tell her like you have to change the way you think So she would say to me my life is perfect. My life is perfect. Nobody's life is perfect, right? I feel like People have a certain way of dealing with their trials and tribulations, right? If you let it take over you People like that people like when your struggles or whatever you're going through is getting to you They can relate to it, but if you know how to pick up and get a move on to the next It's like they don't like it Nobody's life is perfect. We all go through things, but I wholeheartedly believe and this is a message for somebody Depending on how you respond to a situation is how that situation is going to be after that moment So if you have a situation where You Okay, lost a family member somebody passed away, right? All of these are like lessons for us Yes, we're gonna cry stuff like that. We're gonna miss them But are we going to turn into like a total a hoe after this person passes away? Because we lost someone are we gonna take it out on someone at our jobs? Are we gonna take it out on a you know a lover or whatever a spouse? Whatever? No if these are lessons that we learn throughout life and It's just a part of it. Nothing is gonna go smoothly. We don't have a smooth path Then it's gonna be some little bump in the road, but I truly believe how you respond and react to certain things Really set the bar for the next step. So when things happen instead of saying why me why me? I always like to say what now what is the next step? What's the next step? So these particular friends were not really friends, right? They were just associates that I met one I knew from high school the other one I met while working and I'm actually glad that this like a stuff like we don't speak because Even if I did something good, I feel like it was always some under Line like some feeling of not being happy for me So yes, it is difficult the older you get But I do feel like you are much wiser and you will typically gravitate towards people Energy wise are they gonna fit into my life? What are they gonna do for me? Are they gonna elevate and I don't mean do for me like like Financial anything like that. Are they gonna add any value like you have people who are really good at Helping you shift your mindset. That's someone that you want around, right? And then you have those energy suckers That's who you do not want around so Yes, it's harder But I think the older we get we are a lot wiser And choosing the type of people we want around and the same things should go for men as well young boys if you are In a place of you know meeting new friends and stuff like that There's so many groups out here. There's good and bad groups So you have to say to yourself. Where do I want to be? In 10 years, right? Do I want to be involved in something like this? bad Or do I want to actually Make a change for my family or my future, you know things like that So yes, it is harder the older we get but Is this better because you are wiser and you are very strategic on who you are letting into your circle so Go back to the main question. Is it hard meeting friends as you get older? I would say no but with a little bit of caveat, right We are getting wiser. So we are choosing better It doesn't mean that you have to be super close with everyone No, that's not the case But the ones that are really are going to add some value to you. Those are the ones that you keep around There's not many good People out here Right. I mean, let me not say that they are they're just like scattered And when you find them, you want to keep them around regardless of who they are, right? Men woman regardless of their sexuality Good people are good people and you know when you find good people. So For my ladies who are 40 plus If it's if you're finding it difficult to like meet friends kind of reevaluate yourself See where you are in your life. Are you 100 happy with what you have going on with your job your career Your business your family. Are you happy there because if you're not you may have some difficulties because you're probably going to push Your negative views onto this other person and they're not going to want to be around you So kind of check yourself first See where you are if you're in a good place And you're still struggling to kind of like keep friends It may not be you you may just give off such great vibes and people may just be a little bit of jealous Okay But your true friends and the true people who need to be who want to be around you Will come to you. So Don't be discouraged um Learn to be by yourself and have Enjoy your own company As a cancer and as introvert I love it. Okay when co-ed hit I was like, oh, this is nothing because I like to be home, right? But I do know that it's really important To enjoy your for your company first by yourself And this is whether if you are single not in a relationship Or if you're trying to like venture out and meet new people you have to enjoy yourself first Otherwise nothing else is going to work for you. So that is my quick little chat today About friendship guys, let me know what you guys think comment below Do you find it hard finding new friends as the older you get? Or are you like pretty good with the people that you have in your circle? Let's get the conversation started guys. So if you like videos like this, please comment below And if you stay to the end of this video Please come and coca we see you and guys don't forget to follow me on instagram my coca styles and why and coca styles NYC and my personal style blog coca styles NYC and my style services coca styles and why calm And i'm on tiktok coca styles NYC and I will catch you guys in the next one. Bye guys