 So it is important that we don't judge people through our own lens But that we try to understand the person's experience through their eyes their history their situation And it is not a sign of weakness I think it's I like to call it more a sign of Processing sometimes people are trying to process the new information that is coming into their lives the new sense of threat That is coming into a life. They're trying to process the fear response and how to Work that through in their lives Trauma can stay with you for a long time But it can also stay with you for a very short time And if you do if you take certain steps and allow that process of transformation to take place I mean, how do I get some balance and harmony in my life and how can I share that balance and harmony with others? because any Identity that is fully formed will move from a narcissistic approach to a more Altruistic approach in every single case because as we become older more mature We also become more able to see in different layers So this is impacting in this area of life But where else is it impacting and how can I be of service in other areas? That doesn't mean you become a superhero. We can't be everything to everyone We're not Superman, but it does mean that as we good as we grow as we grow older We do Expand to help other people and this could not be achieved by the way without this existential inquiry that makes us sometimes feel threatened and it pushes some of us into trauma and Also, almost everyone pushes almost everyone into grief and loss even if we experience it differently I'm sure that a lot of people We have cried many times Over what's going on in the world right now, right? It may be not just because we covered maybe we have cried because Because of how the world is being polluted and we don't want to see it that way We have cried because of how many animals are disappearing or being extinct Who knows there's so many things that we could focus on but it is an existential inquiry It is a call to action. How are you going to show up for the world from today on? Yeah, it's it's hard. I realize it's hard because we we've said social animals I'm way and it's all about emotion sometimes when we interact with people how we make them feel how they make us feel But it is important if we're gonna help people and I know some of you are interested in what do I do? How do I help people that are experiencing this and try to be as neutral as possible for their sake? While still remaining human So with that it brings me to point eight. Don't ask you what is going to be helpful rule number one rule number one of anyone that wants to help is Ask three letter word ASK What do you need to feel safe? Are you feeling a safe? How do you feel should be the first one? How do you feel? I'm fine. Okay, if you can believe it if it's unlike and I'm fine, but maybe you don't believe it You know, you're not sounding like you're fine So but make sure that you do that in a kind way not in a push away Not in a in a sticky big way not like in a in a way that you want to Leave them naked, you know, some people just need to know that you're there. They don't need you to be a counselor You shouldn't be a counselor anyway, if you want to help people in a workplace for example It might be simple things like how is that there's position in the office and I've seen a lot of people that get relaxed with very different things It's amazing in English countries how many people get get back into Relax mode with a cup of tea or a cup of coffee, you know It's wonderful and that's all they need However, however that is their experience. It doesn't mean that because I like a cup of tea or like a coffee That makes me relax. That's gonna relax them. So find out ask help the process for them When you're asking you shouldn't be You're asking because you want to know you should be more a helpful questioning that helps them Work out things because it's not about us. Is it it's about them. So the question should be Such a way that they get helps them well Hi, I'm Amy Golding director of psychology for the Workplace Mental Health Institute We hope you liked the video if you did make sure to give it a thumbs up We have more and more videos being released each week So when you subscribe you'll get a notification letting you know when a new one's just been published so make sure to hit that subscribe button and Don't miss out on this vital information for yourself your colleagues and your loved ones