 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook The Last Observer, a magic battle for reality by G. Michael Facy, narrated by Darren Marlar. Here's a free sample on the audiobooks page at MarlarHouse.com. The California State Senate has passed a bill that would make it a criminal offense to address a transgender person by the wrong pronoun. According to HotAir.com, the bill now goes on to the state assembly. If passed and signed by the governor, the bill could enforce criminal penalties, including jail time, against someone who refuses to address a transgender individual by their chosen gender pronoun. Meanwhile, that lunch lady I had back in elementary school is still out of luck, because she's not transgender, she just looks like a man because of her mustache. 50% of Americans have ditched their friends and made up a lie so that they could stay at home and watch TV. Well, you have to admit the television never judges you or excuses itself to go to the bathroom when the check for dinner arrives at the restaurant table. Aston Martin says it'll go completely hybrid with its cars by 2025. We'll soon be getting exciting movie chase scenes with James Bond desperately searching for an electrical outlet. For those of you who eat at your desk every day, it comes as no surprise that the lunch hour has been shrinking in recent years. A recent survey shows 70% of Americans either work straight through lunch or spend a mere 5-10 minutes woofing down their food. 6-10 of Americans consider the one-hour lunch to be the biggest myth in office life. Although, I do try to bring the world into balance by taking a five-hour lunch each day. The city of Los Angeles has officially replaced the Columbus Day holiday on their calendar with Indigenous People's Day. Honestly, you can call it imaginary friend day for all I care. I wouldn't care as long as it means I get to sleep in. Parents in Zimbabwe who can't afford school fees can now offer livestock such as goats or sheep as payment. The country's education minister said that schools will have to show flexibility when it comes to demanding tuition fees from parents. That would never work in America. Our alternative means of payment would have to be stuff like Cheetos dust and leftover marshmallow peeps. New stats show that Americans, on average, spend more on taxes in 2016 than they did on food and clothing combined. Well, it certainly felt like it. A report says 85% of all clothes end up in landfills. See, you've been wasting your money shopping at Goodwill. Rachel Ray has donated $1 million to animals that were affected by Hurricane Harvey. Really? You couldn't think about taking care of the people first? Crib? Car seat? Baby wipe? Warmer? You know, there are so many things expectant parents need to buy. Here's something else for the shopping list, a baby naming consultant. You'll find them mostly in Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Hong Kong and a number of other major cities. One Swiss branding company charges more than $29,000 to choose the perfect name for a soon-to-arrive child. Just imagine, for just under $30,000 your child could be the next Apple, or Scout, or Fifi, or Pilot, or Moon unit. An Australian pop star is getting lots of flack for thinking that twerking in a Holocaust museum and taking pictures was a good idea. See, and you thought all the idiot celebrities lived in America. An armed robbery suspect found out the hard way that holding up a mixed martial art studio is not an easy target. Police said shortly after 9pm a man walked into the defiant MMA and fitness studio in Burbank and pulled a gun on employees and customers. An instructor, lightweight MMA fighter Jacob Powell knocked the gun out of the suspect's hand and pinned him down until police arrived to take him into custody. A gun is no match for Cobra Kai! Frito Lay, the makers of Doritos, Ruffles and Funyuns, are working on an organic non-GMO chip to cash in on their increasing popularity. Although are you really concerned about GMOs, if you're chowing down on Funyuns? James Sissom and Ashley Smider picked a unique location for their wedding earlier this year. The Northern Californians got married at the 17,500-foot base camp on Mount Everest. It was a dream fulfilled for the adventurous couple whose first date was an overnight hiking trip in Yosemite National Park. It took them eight days of hiking just to reach the wedding location. I've said it before, a good marriage is hard work. In this case, it's hard work even before the marriage. Competing muggers tried to rob the same bus. The gunfight erupted on a Mexico City bus where competing muggers ran into each other as they robbed passengers. They killed each other. You know what? All muggings should end this way. Treasury Secretary Steve Nugent has created doubt that Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. Oh yeah, that'll do wonders for the racism conversation. A man died Sunday at the famous desert celebration Burning Man after running into the giant wooden structure set on fire. So he actually became the Burning Man. Yep, that'll do it. You can now spend a night in the house where a Christmas story was filmed, $495 a night in the off-season, meaning it will not be a Christmas story for you. As of last Friday, Americans are now officially banned from traveling to North Korea. It's the only travel ban aimed at a single person whose name happens to be Dennis Rodman. In Italy, a 63-year-old man was having a mausoleum built at the cemetery in his hometown. He wanted his eternal resting place to be just right, so he made frequent visits to make sure that the construction crew was building it exactly to his specifications. On his last visit, he climbed up a ladder to get a closer look at the top of the mausoleum. That's when he slipped, hit his head on a marble step and fell dead into his tomb. Well, I guess that saves money on renting the hearse. A Seattle therapy group for kids is putting a hammer down on the usual questions like how do you feel and why aren't you doing your homework. The group, Wheelhouse Workshop, instead uses Dungeons & Dragons to get kids and teens to open up by playing characters in the game. Parents of the children say it works extremely well, right up to the point where you tell them it's time for a bath and they try to do a saving throw. LeVar Ball and his family are set to star in a reality show called Ball in the Family. Begging the question, who the heck is LeVar Ball and how did he get his own reality show? Thinking about getting a pet, did you know that the most expensive household pet to keep is not a dog or a cat but actually a tortoise? The animals can live for more than 75 years and during that time they would set you back about $36,000. Plus there's the increased stress of trying to get him to pick up the pace when you take him out on his leash. The execution of a death row in Mated, Texas was delayed because of Hurricane Harvey and has been moved from last week to December 14th. Proof that hurricanes are evil. They kill others while saving the life of those scheduled for execution. A new study indicates 15% of office email is gossip. The average corporate email user sends 112 emails every day. Of those, about 1 out of 7 is gossip according to a study by Research at Georgia Tech. When you say gossip, most people immediately have a negative interpretation but it's actually a very important form of communication. Even tiny bits of information like Eric said he'd be late for this meeting add up. I don't think I'd count a message if Eric is going to be late as gossip though. I'm shocked that we send an average of 112 emails every day? Seriously? How does that leave time for Facebook, Twitter and YouTube? L'Oreal has fired their first transgender model after she posted on Facebook that all white people are racists. It's amazing how those who screamed that they should be accepted are quick to label and condemn everyone else. In Ukraine a burglar broke into a church to steal gold fixtures. This when the plan fell apart. It seems he fell asleep and got locked in the weekend's only facility for five days, surviving on the only liquid available, sacramental wine. Five full days in a church to contemplate your life before God and think about the wrongs you've been doing. Sounds like a fitting punishment to me. Angelina Jolie showed up at the premiere of her new movie, First They Killed My Father which she directed, produced and co-wrote in Colorado with all six of her kids. Everyone was well behaved in the beginning until her kids had to tell Angelina to stop kicking the seat in front of her. The latest science shows that when we eat actually affects our skin. For example, eating snacks at night interferes with the skin's ability to protect itself from the sun. Unless, of course, you happen to spill really thick nacho cheese all over yourself. You know, I was just thinking, forest fires, floods, hurricanes, what else could go wrong? And then I remembered, oh yeah, Congress is back in session. After spending 665 days whizzing 254 miles above the surface of the earth aboard the International Space Station, astronaut Peggy Whitson has touched down safely in Kazakhstan. Although once she catches up with the news, she might want to go back into space where things make more sense. They say that you'll be noticing more spiders over the next couple of weeks. It's mating season. You know, I did walk by a web the other day and I would have sworn I spelled Old Spice. Nintendo would like us to know that their classic video game character Mario is no longer a plumber. Yeah, he's now a sanitation technician. Starbucks is now selling sushi burritos. Two cups of coffee. Sushi burritos. They're going to need more bathrooms at Starbucks. In Raleigh, North Carolina, a man accused of killing his wife says he did it because he took too much cold medicine. He must have been taking the non-drowsy formula. Three young men in Louisiana who were struck by a truck and injured recently, they were the ones at fault, that's according to the cops who find the trio for not wearing reflective clothing at night. Hey, you knuckleheads. Hey, you just dented my truck. What do you got to say for yourselves? Hey, don't just lie there unconscious, answer me. The big hit in Norway these days is something called slow TV. For example, recently a train ride was broadcast so people could look out the window at the scenery as if they were on board the train. Seven hours of it. And it was a hit. You know, it's still a better storyline than any show on the E-Cable TV network. Well, with Hurricane Irma taking aim at South Florida, some flights from Miami to Phoenix that were going for just under $550 are now listed at over $3,200. Coffee, tea, price gouging, anyone? Would you like a tiny bag of airline peanuts? Yes, okay great, that'll be $87.50. A Massachusetts man told police that he called his wife evil and she responded by stabbing him and slamming him in the back of the head with a coffee mug full of ice cream. Thank you for proving my points darling. Hurricane Irma is a meteorological monster, it's currently a Category 5 storm and only three Category 5 hurricanes have ever hit the U.S. So we're pretty much going to be without the South from Georgia to Texas for a long time. Swiss veterinarians claim more and more dogs are suffering from stress and burnout caused by demanding owners. One researcher said dogs are suffering increasingly from tension, stomach aches and headaches caused by stress. There are a number of factors behind it, but in most cases, stressed or demanding owners are to blame. See this right here, this is why you should never talk politics with your schnauzer. Lego is cutting 1,400 jobs. Man, I feel sorry for those people don't you? If you spent your entire career playing with Legos, are you truly prepared for the real world? Wisconsin lawmakers will soon consider a bill that would strip repeat drunken drivers of their licenses for at least a decade. The Assembly passed the bill last session but it didn't get a floor vote in the Senate. So how serious is this problem in Wisconsin? Real serious. State Department of Transportation data shows that one-third of the state's drunk driving convictions in 2015, the most recent data available, were repeat offenders. Put another way, the 221,576 repeat offenders were more than twice the population of Green Bay. About 52,000 convictions were for a third offense, nearly 2,800 were for a seventh offense or more. Hey, how about throwing them in jail for a decade instead of the driver's license thing? That way they can't drive whether they have a license or not. Man, but you know what do you expect from a state who calls its sports team the brewers? The money-hemorrhaging New York Daily News is being sold to a company known as Trunk, the newspaper publisher formerly known as Tribune. The sale price? Zero dollars. The Daily News, they're known for their crazy and controversial front-page headlines like their recent headline, We've Been Sold For Zero Dollars. According to a new study, having two or three beers may be a better pain killer than taking Tylenol. Man, that might be true, but when's the last time you heard of somebody being pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence of acetaminophen? Jerry Springer says that he's not yet decided on whether to run for Ohio Governor. I understand though he's already locked in the dwarf transgender serial killer boat. Give money to David Duke and you might just find yourself closing your business. Julius Daroma owns a bar called Club Yeager in Minneapolis, but he was forced to close down after it was revealed that he donated to David Duke's 2016 Senate campaign. Well, outraged to learn that their boss had given money to the ex-KKK leader, many employees simply walked off the job. Local DJs and bands also promised to boycott the bar, with one DJ writing on Facebook that he couldn't condone a venue where the owner supports the likes of David Duke and his messages of hate. Former bartender Dree Kingston said the contribution is vile and it's disgusting. Jack Callahan, who canceled the trivia night he hosted, says per the Tribune that employees got angry messages, calling them Nazi sympathizers. A group of men followed and spit on one worker calling her a Nazi lover. The bar was empty by midweek, save for a few white supremacists who showed up to support Daroma, and by Thursday the remaining employees decided to shut it down for good. Daroma later told reporters his Duke donation was just basically free speech. He also said the controversy was blown up beyond what it should be. Well, okay, here's the thing. You do have freedom of speech, and you can support any candidate you want, but the rest of the world also has freedom of speech and can choose to think that you're an idiot and a moron. See, it's simple. Atlanta Post Office workers have been charged with taking bribes to deliver cocaine. By their reign, nor snow, nor... Oh, hey, wow, snow! California could become the first state to legalize magic mushrooms. Yeah, that's what they were missing. Paper parking tickets are on their way out. Several cities are experimenting with digital parking tickets. Hey, they've got your license number and your email address. Soon people will have bench warrants out for their arrest because they stopped checking their inbox. A new study says slow walkers are more likely to die young, especially in the case of being chased by a pack of wolves. A theme park in Japan offers a fight with bad guys service for men so that they can impress their dates. Although, come on, let's face it, if you can truly impress your date by taking her to a theme park known for letting you fight bad guys and win, your date isn't all that bright. France's famed Notre Dame Cathedral is literally falling apart, and organizers of a restoration effort are asking for Americans to help. However, the Americans' suggestion of a ground-level cracker barrel is not without opposition. This Friday, Krispy Kreme is bringing back their pumpkin-spiced donuts, but only for one day and while supplies last. So the chances of you getting some is somewhere between snowball and hell and when pigs fly. Actor-director Matt Damon says that if you want to film your movie on a Trump property, you have to write a part for Mr. Trump. At least that was the case before he was president. The Donald has made cameos in productions such as Home Alone 2, Sex in the City and Zoolander. And yet, somehow he still became president. Remarkable! If you want to electronically whisper sweet nothings into your one true love's ear, do it in an email instead of a voicemail. Why? Well, it emails more effective than a voicemail when it comes to expressing romantic feelings according to researchers from Indiana University in Bloomington. And that's surprising. Previous research, not to mention good old common sense, would suggest that a voicemail message is a more intimate way to connect with others, especially with someone you love, but apparently that's not true for millennials. You know, following this logic then, the perfect marriage proposal would come via text message. Am I right? If you're already an official weirdo, please share this video on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and other social media to help get the word out. To become an official weirdo, click that subscribe button and click that little bell next to the subscribe button to be a part of the notification squad. 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