 Today's podcast is brought to you by FreshBooks.com. Get a 30-day free trial at gofreshbooks.com forward slash David Feldman show. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps. Can I worry? You should always worry. I'm not doing this at our studio. I'm doing this at home. And I want to make sure I'm kind of worried. So let me ask you, can you hear this? Yes. Do you hear blowing? Yes. Yes. Yes. All right. Do you hear me breathing through my nose? Yes. Okay. Do you hear me gagging? Yes. Yes. Should I call 911? I'm just doing a sound check. Okay. Okay. So you can hear me blowing. You can hear me breathing through my nose. I can. Yes. Can you hear me gagging? Okay. Yes. Can you hear me coughing up a pubic hair? Is it an RCH? What is an RCH? A red conterre. Oh my God. Well, it's the thinnest of the pubic hairs, I understand. It can only be Kelly Carlin who's joining us from beautiful Los Angeles. Hello, Kelly Carlin. Hello, David Feldman. I have a lot to talk to you about as always. You are, besides being a Jungian psychologist, you have a newsletter that people should be subscribing to. You also have a podcast that I want to ask you how people can subscribe to that. You also have a one-woman show and you have a book called A Carlin Home Companion. Uh-huh. That's coming out on paperback in October. I'm very excited. I don't mean to brag but I know Kelly Carlin and she autographed the book for me. Oh, this is Kelly Carlin. And the great thing is you're very generous about your surname because you are in fact the daughter of the greatest stand-up comic, whoever did it, George Carlin. And George Carlin, the estate of George Carlin has uncovered a special, a CD that he recorded right before 9-11. And as I understand it, and maybe you can correct me, Mr. Carlin was talking about death and destruction and how much he likes to see it on his TV screen and in a moment of clarity after 9-11. Yeah, so here's the story. He was prepping his next HBO show and it usually takes about a year to prep it. Maybe 18 months, it depends. And so he'd been prepping it all 2001 and working on it with, you know, different bringing cards on stage, papers on stage, whatever it is because that's how his process was. And he was in Vegas the week of September 8th or whatever that week was for a couple of weeks doing his Vegas gig at the MGM Grand. And he taped every single show he ever did, especially when he was learning stuff. He liked to hear how it was learning, how he was learning it, how it was landing. So they always cassette taped every show he did. And so before he died, he kept some of them. And he put them in a box. And some of them he put in a special box with a special note on it saying these are special ones. Like it didn't say, hey Kelly, these are special ones, but nope, might as well have said that. And then there was just a box of other ones too that didn't really weren't special or necessarily were just kind of a bunch of them. And we found two cassettes. One was labeled 9901 and the other one was labeled 91001 MGM Grand. And they said things on it like Uncle Dave, great audience, good rhythm, something like that. He wrote some notes on it and he kept them because as we all know, we all woke up on the morning of 9-11 and towers came down. Now your father, your father was in Las Vegas. And the name of the HBO show he was working on that he was going to do at the beacon that November was called, I kind of like it when a lot of people die. I don't intend to interrupt you. Yeah. But if I were in Vegas, I turn on the TV and the towers are coming down. I'm thinking, oh, they're getting rid of the sands. Exactly. I don't recognize that hotel. Which one is that as he looks out his condo looking to see what's going on? Yes, exactly. So go ahead. Go ahead. So yeah. So the name of the show he was planning on doing had been planning for over a year on doing was called, I kind of like it when a lot of people die. Because the end of the show was this big bit called Uncle Dave at the time. And it was this eight minute or however long it is, apocalyptic view of the end of the world, basically. And then this beautiful, it kind of transforms into this other beautiful, kind of interesting, very kind of transcendent vision, actually. Very un-Carlin-like in some ways. So yeah. So he woke up on 9-11 and thought, all right, well, that title of a show isn't going to work. And changed the name to Complaints and Grievances and pulled out about 28 or 32. I can't remember the exact timing amount of a material from the show and had to put some other stuff in. And so we found these tapes and on them were a couple of things. Uncle Dave, which ended up being called Coast to Coast Emergency and ended up going on Life is Worth Losing in 2005. But there's a couple of other bits on this album that never saw the light of day. He didn't reinvent them. He didn't put them on anything else. These are bits that, unless you were in the audience in 2001, before 9-11, no one's ever heard them before. So they're really unreleased George Carlin material, which is probably the rarest thing on planet Earth. Well, I understand there's also a 20-year-old George Carlin. Yes. Now, here's the thing. Hang on. It's one thing to badmouth the cops. But he was badmouthing. From what I've read, he's badmouthing the fire department? Firemen? Well, no, you got to listen to it. I mean, he's not really badmouthing the fire department. You know, he's a 20-year-old. He's a kid who hates authority. He's got major daddy issues. Okay, but I have to interrupt you, and I mean to interrupt you this time. How beautiful is this that George Carlin, the greatest stand-up comic who ever did it, and everything he does keeps getting better with age, that you're releasing, think about this, you're releasing a special that had to be put aside because of 9-11, right? Yeah. And, you know, we all know about the first responders. God bless them. Yep. You had a snake in George Carlin crapping on firemen. Who cracks on firemen? Well, and the reason we wanted to put this piece in was because it's actually a really interesting anthropological thing because here you see this kid and he's 20 years old in 1957 before he'd become a stand-up. And it basically sounds like a stand-up routine. If you listen to it, it sounds like he's kind of imitating Lenny Bruce. You know, he's kind of doing a Lenny Bruce type of routine, and he's not doing it to anyone. He's not on stage. This is him in a room with a reel-to-reel tape recorder just talking into a microphone by himself. And he's just kind of riffing off the top of his head. I don't know if he had notes about this or not, but it sounds like he's riffing. And it's a really interesting thing to see. The seeds of the curmudgeon, the man who loved the cross the line, the man who 30, 40, 50 years later is the guy who will cross an audience across the line that not many other guys would do. We're talking with Kelly Carlin, and she's the author of A Carlin Home Companion. And she's also released a new CD. Is it also a DVD? No, no, no. It's an audio cassette from a concert at the MGM Grand. It's all it is. It's just an album. It's not a special. I don't know who called it a special. Someone in the press did. It might have been the New York Times. It was a little inaccurate, the New York Times review. It's not a special. It's an excerpt from a concert he did on 9.9 and 9.10 of 2001. And it was going to be part of the HBO special that he did later that year in November live at the Beacon. Wow. I mean, just the fact that he recorded it right before 9... I mean, that's so smart. That's so funny. I would never deign to speak for him or know what he's thinking. I just think that he would find this, I think, pretty hysterical that you decided to release this. Oh, I think you'd love it. I mean, the only reason we did it was because we wanted to make him proud. And the vinyl album itself is a work of art. I mean, it opens like a double album. It has this collage inside of it that is kind of like the apocalypse, the end of the world. And it's got handwritten notes of his. And then it's got a beautiful liner notes written by Lewis Black. And it's his original title of the album, what the album would have been called. Had he not changed the name, of course, it's 15 years later. And I think he'd fucking love it. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back with Kelly Carlin. Welcome back. Welcome back. We're talking with Kelly Carlin. We had to take a quick break because I wasn't sure this thing was recording. So I use my profession. I try to be professional like, you know, we have to take a break. Yes, it was like a real commercial break. I felt a sponsor was coming up for something, you know, for Brillo pads or something. The truth is, I'm doing the recording by myself and I'm terrified. By the way, you know what I learned? And then we're going to get back to talking about George Carlin and the new. It's on vinyl. It's on vinyl CD and MP3 download. And the vinyl is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. It's a piece of art, the vinyl record. Logan Heftel helped us create all the artwork. He helped produce it. He engineered it. And it's just it's gorgeous. What is it called? I kind of like it when a lot of people die. I know that. But what is it called? I kind of like it when a lot of people die. Kelly Carlin, we'll get to that. And the three state murder spree that you've been conducting. And I'm very proud of you. You were able to find young men and women on their 18th birthday. It was fascinating. How many did you kill? I kind of like it when people die. And how can people buy this? What's the best way for people to buy this really important and funny album? My understanding is that it's up on Amazon. And you can pre-order it. Which dad would love that term, pre-order. Which actually means you're ordering it. We're just not delivering it yet. But you're not actually pre-ordering it because pre-ordering it is sitting and staring at the screen before you've clicked on the button. Ordering it is pre-ordering. You're just ordering it. Yeah, you're just ordering it. It won't arrive for a few weeks because it's not officially out yet. And I believe if you go to GeorgeCarlin.com, we will be selling it on there too. If you buy the vinyl, you will get a little thing that will let you download the MP3. So you can have both MP3 and vinyl when you order the vinyl. And if you download it illegally, you're post-ordering it. Yes. And someone will come to your house and kick the shit out of you. It's immoral. It is absolutely immoral. Especially with GeorgeCarlin. Exactly. Come on, people. Money is speech. And nobody... If we learned anything from Judge Scalia, God rest his soul, money is speech. And there is no greater champion of speech than GeorgeCarlin. That's right. And if you download GeorgeCarlin illegally, you're literally silencing him. You're stealing his speech. You are. You are stealing his speech. And we've given a lot away for free over the last eight years on the Internet. So you kids, you can pay for this one. And I don't know why, but GeorgeCarlin keeps getting better with age. I don't know if you guys are going in there and changing stuff. Or if he never died. I'm punching up my dad's material. People keep sending me his stuff. And I'm going, he's alive in Parkland Memorial with Kennedy and Elvis recording new stuff. This stuff cannot be his... By the way, my 90-year-old mother always felt after my father died that she should have married GeorgeCarlin. Awww. All right. We'll get back to... Let's... Yeah, my mother... I like that. Yeah, she had... I remember I was in Aspen at the HBO Comedy Festival performing. This must have been like the late 90s. And your dad was on Tom Snyder wearing a black shirt, a t-shirt. Uh-huh. And my father had been dead for two years. And my mother said, I'm never going to marry another man. Your father was all I needed. But I watched GeorgeCarlin with Tom Snyder and I'm in love. And it... Oh. Yeah. And she loved your book, by the way. And now we're... And you and I are friends now. It is Kismet. It is really Kismet. I have a question that I've always wanted to ask you. Was GeorgeCarlin funny at home? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I just... When you hear that knock on the door, David, don't answer it. Someone's going to be bludgeoning into that. So there's... I got a lot to talk to you about. A lot, a lot, a lot. We haven't talked in forever. I've missed you so much. I miss you too. Are you still having the best parties in the world? You know, we have many fewer of them than we used to. Is it because I left town? Yes. It's because you left town. We're like, what's the point? The greatest guest in the world won't be here tonight. You know, I've changed. You know that I got a divorce, right? I did not know that. You didn't know that? I knew that you were living on different coasts and I suspected something was going on. Yeah. And I don't really like to talk about it. But one of the things I've changed is I've become a more social animal. One of the complaints about me is that, you know, a lot of the stuff I can do at home in the office and if I'm doing stand-up or, you know, a podcast or a radio show, there's no need. I'm around people so much. There's really no need for me to be social. Right. And I was wrong. And that was one of the bones of contention in my marriages that my feeling was, I'll leave the house if somebody's paying me. Not good, not healthy. I thought I was being cute and quirky and that it was attractive. It's unattractive. And so I actually now go to parties. The only place I look forward to, there was one party that you used to throw every two months. Yeah. And I was the last one to leave. Yeah. Yeah, those are good parties. They were. And yeah, we haven't had a big one like that in actually all year. We do a couple smaller ones on a Friday night. We'll have maybe six or eight people over. And I find that nicer now because I can actually talk to everybody and sit down and not run around and be the hostess with the most at the whole time. But the big ones are fun. And I think we're going to plan a big one in October. So if you need to come out here just to come to it. Rocktober, you mean? Rocktober. Hang on. I've always wanted to say this to you. You can have that. Thank you. I'm writing it down right now. OK. And you don't even have to give me credit for it. In fact, I prefer it if you didn't. So you saw the enculter roast. I saw the Nikki Glaser, the line, the great line that Nikki Glaser did. I didn't, I haven't watched the whole roast yet. I DVR'd it the other night. But someone put it up on something. And I watched the one line about the only Mexican that'll ever be happy is the one that's digging your grave. And I just thought, wow, that must be David Feldman. You know, I haven't seen the roast. I was in mediation that week. So I didn't go to the roast. I couldn't get out. And I wasn't in the mood to be in public, quite frankly. I think the joke I wrote was, why does enculter want to deport all the Mexicans, the only guy who'll have sex with her is a rapist? Yeah, that actually is more of a Feldman joke than it was. You know why that's a Feldman joke? Because it's wrong on every level. Yes, exactly. There's no way out of that joke in having some sort of sense of your soul left. Well, because it's not only attacking enculter, but it's also unfortunately attacking Mexicans. Yes. Right? Yes. There's nothing, my favorite joke, speaking of morally reprehensible jokes. And I will not quote George Carlin, because there are a couple of jokes that have no moral bearing whatsoever. That is true. You know, especially the Anarex joke comes to mind. Yes. David Atel, who also keeps getting better with the age. Now, I was not there, but I heard this happened on stage. Somebody was heckling David Atel. Now, David Atel is a product of the New York comedy scene, where the first thing you learn to do is handle hecklers. So it's not wise to heckle David Atel because he's playing 3D chess. He's on another level, especially with hecklers. So some guy heckles him. And so his eyes light up. Oh, somebody's going to heckle me. Good. And David Atel goes, excuse me, sir, what do you do for a living? And the heckler goes, I fuck your mother. And David Atel says, then welcome to the world of AIDS. Wow. I heard this, I think he did it 20 years ago. And what I love about this, in fact, Alex Reed, a comedy writer, told me about this. And what he said is what's so great about that retort is there's nothing redeeming about it. He didn't get the best of the heckler. Right. He didn't put the heckler down. I mean, that's what's so beautiful about it. He didn't put the heckler down. In fact, he says, yeah, my mother's a whore and she's rattled with HIV. Yes. Wow. It's such a great... I mean, to me, that is what your... Well, anyway, it would be disrespectful to even mention George Carlin in the same breath as anybody else who did stand up. And that's a fact, you know. Oh, wow. You're a Jungian psychologist and you help people, right? If people need help, you will actually... No. Right? I'm not there. I'm not there. But you do life coaching. I do not do coaching anymore. I've not done coaching in quite a few years. Is that because of the Sandusky thing? Yeah. Yeah, it was... Yeah, it was... Yeah, I just... Things got out of control and I couldn't help the man. I gave up, you know, after that. What's the point? No, I just... You know, for me, just the one-on-one coaching is I just realized it's not something I'm interested in doing. So, and so I stopped doing it. I am going to start teaching some classes and I'm actually going to do an online course later this year. And I'm going to be teaching in San Luis Obispo at the beginning of October. And what is your class going to be called? What's going to be called? Well, the online thing I don't know yet, I've kind of got three different categories I'm working with and I'm just designing it and coming up with it right now. The thing in San Luis Obispo I'm going to be doing is to help people with their creative process. I do this process called voice dialogue where I help you kind of talk to the voices inside your head and have a conversation with them so that we can suss them out and see what procrastination is doing and all that kind of stuff. And it really frees people up very quickly. It's a very quick little process. I'll be teaching October 2nd in San Luis Obispo in person. And the online thing is either going to be about life balance or creativity. I don't know yet. I'm just kind of playing with it right now. I'm just getting into this teaching again. I haven't taught in about four years maybe. So it's just now that the book is done and I have that behind me and I've got some kind of open space in front of me. I need to make some money. I need to make a living also. So I'm doing speaking gigs, general keynote speeches and teaching and working on another book proposal right now. So hoping to sell another book. You're not a spoiled rich kid. No, not now. Not in this part of my life. I was in my teens in my 20s. I was. But no, not anymore. I've got my husband, Bob. I'm a cameraman and I work for a living too. And yeah, we're a nice little middle class family here in the Los Angeles greater area here in Los Angeles. That's why people should support you and all those kind of things. I was going to ask you a question. Oh, I know what it was. Creativity, writer's block. There are 4.5 million Syrian refugees. Half a million people or more have died in Syria. Why should I give a crap if somebody has writer's block? You probably shouldn't. That's not the answer. But if you have writer's block and you're a writer, you should give a shit. And you know what? You can actually give a shit about Syrian refugees and writer's block at the very same time if you have a decent IQ. Right. Why is creativity important? And why do I walk into Pete's coffee or Starbucks and I see a white kid with a mole skin and I just want to take a baseball bat and just not hit him over the head. Just swing at the coffee and the mole skin and get in his face and go, you're not creative. Your parents are subsidizing you for a few more years. You have nothing to say and I hate you. Why do I feel that way? Am I threatened or am I right? This might be a kind of a creative crisis of your own. You know, for you there's less years ahead than there are behind. And sometimes we resent the youth because they've got the years ahead of them. No, I don't know. You know what? It is that kind of thing where I'm a person who struggled for 20 years in my house wanting to express myself and wanting to say things to the world because I've got this fucking DNA that puts all these thoughts in my head and makes me want to get up in front of people and talk about it. And so I struggled with it. So I teach what I know. And that's part of what I know is how to start to get out of your own way. And being a human being is a creative act. Making spaghetti is a creative act. All this other stuff is kind of icing on the cake and we're lucky if we get recognized for it and we're lucky if we get paid for it. But, you know, everyone, every human or even maybe monkey is a creative being. Okay. Maybe I'm trying to be cute here. But maybe I mean it. You tell me. I don't know. How do we get people to be less creative? Like the people we don't agree with. Because Donald Trump these days is rather creative. He's a pretty creative person. I don't think we have any problem with that. I think there's a lot of small-minded thinking and a lack of creativity out there. But then you think about the terrorists. They're getting creative and that's kind of interesting. That's scary. I wonder if they take any online webinars to source their creativity. The suicide videos are pretty. That's true, yeah. One of the things I've noticed is, is it McKee and Sid Field? Robert McKee, oh my God, yes. Story structure. And then the guy, the anti-Semite who Bill Moyers interviewed, he taught at St. Lawrence, Sarah Lawrence. Joseph Campbell, one of my heroes. Well, you're a young man. Yes, exactly. The hero in the... His archives are at the school I got my master's at. And that is up in, I believe, Malibu. Santa Barbara, a place called Pacifica, Pacifica Graduate Institute. But that's better. Yeah. Yeah, that's the famous Don Rickles line. He goes to this man, what part of China are you from, sir? And the guy goes, I'm Japanese. And Don goes, like that's better. Oh, Rickles, fabulous. I get this when I start laughing at a joke like that just now in the back of my skull. What's in the back of your brain? Like the back of your head. Some reason when a joke is really funny, I laugh and not even loud. And I start getting like almost lightheaded. And I feel in the back of my head. And my left arm starts getting numb. And I have shallow breathing. And I smell burnt almond. What is that? Okay. You're fine. Oh, okay, good. But you know, I'm being serious here. I wish people spoke in headlines. There isn't a story to everything, right? Like, you know, you have a cavity. Instead, I get, well, I was scraping the plaque off your teeth. And then I looked at your incisors. And through the corner, do I have a cavity? Or, you know, or my mother, who's 90, does this. So call me up. Do you remember your uncle Salvador? And I'll go, is he dead? He was driving his car. He shouldn't have been, is he dead? It was in Miami where they allow old people to drive. Is he dead? God damn it. Is he dead? You know, my mother has to, to find out that my uncle Salvador died. I have to hear the whole effing story. Because, you know, we're the hero, the myth, the journey. And, you know, everybody's a storyteller. And I got to wait through five minutes to find out that, now I got to go to a funeral. Yeah, you know, I think, I mean, they've found that narrative is how the brain remembers and how it actually processes information. It has to form it into a narrative to really grasp it and understand it. But how difficult is it to remember that uncle Salvador died? But, but there's, but, and then there's those of us who are, have a need to be, you know, honest, on a stage. Even if the stage is, I'm going to make you wait and I'm going to tell you the story. Like there's something, there's something in certain people, I think, that have this, that have to tell the story version of it. And don't just give the facts. I mean, there are definitely plenty of, you know, people on the spectrum who'll just give you the facts. You know, they're not storytellers at all. I think it's kind of how you're genetically hardwired. And some people are naturally, and it would make sense that your mother did that because you are, you're a creative person, you're a stand-up. You're basically, even if you're telling a joke, you're telling a story on some level. It doesn't surprise me that you came from someone like that. I never think of myself as a storyteller, though. No, but you are, but you're painting a picture. When you tell a joke, you have to give the right enough information to the audience. Just the right amount so that when it comes around to the punchline, it has context and meaning and will make us laugh. That is painting a picture, that is telling a story on some level. Hmm, interesting. That's my grand theory and you can nominate me now for the Nobel or something like that. Are you going to interview Tom Wolf about his new book? Oh my God, I was just reading about it today. He goes after Noam Chomsky in Evolution. Yeah. This is amazing. I don't see how I would ever have an opportunity to interview Tom Wolf, but sign me up if you can get me there. I mean, wow, he's fascinating. I thought of you because you're a Jungian and Jung played Marcus Welby and Father Knows Ghost and when life got too much, he took the pipe. And then the garage and he took it. Didn't he do that? I think Robert Jung took the pipe. Did he really? I think so. Wow. I'll look it up, but that's not the point. The point I'm making is Jung believes in the collective unconscious and I don't know anything about Jung, but I know you do and I know that Tom Wolf has written this book about language and the struggle of the origins of language. And he goes after Chomsky and Darwin and Tom Wolf is one of my favorite all-time writers and they touch on this idea of a collective unconscious, this Jungian approach to the origins of language. I believe Noam Chomsky has almost a Jungian view towards language that it's imprinted on us. Yeah, well, I mean, he's a linguist and his point of view is that we have a biological... humans have something in our brains that are different, that are different, that are kind of pre-sorted for language and that we have a language center in, I think it's our left frontal lobe area or something. And that's his theory. That's what Chomsky brought to the conversation 40, 50 years ago, whenever it was. So yeah, I studied linguistics as an undergrad and I loved it. I was fascinated by it, but yeah, and I guess Tom Wolf's argument is that why is humans only and why not apes and how is the evolution thing... I just love that Tom Wolf's going after these big people and I read the article, the review, and the Times, and they said, but he's an atheist, so he's not doing it for religious reasons. He's just doing it because he's got a bone to pick. He's an atheist, yeah? Oh, wait a second, because I read another review that said the message in his book is language is divine intervention, that Thomas Wolf is a closeted Republican who goes after Darwin in evolution because deep down inside he's a creationist. Are you reading like one of those right wing crazy reviews? I read the one in the New York Times. I didn't get that in the New York Times. The one in the New York Times said he's an atheist and he's not doing it for religious. He's not attacking it with a religious argument at all. Okay, I think he does have a conservative streak. Yeah, I think he has a contrarian streak more than anything. I think he's just looking to stand on the other side of the line no matter what it is and pick an interesting argument. And I'm doing something really horrible and I want to apologize to our listeners. You're going to tell me this right now that you're doing this, really? We should tell people who Tom Wolf is. Oh. I apologize to our listeners. He wrote the right stuff. He wrote Bonfire of the Vanities he created. Is it new journalism? There was a type of journal. Yeah, he and like Hunter S. Thompson, kind of like personal first person journalism. Yeah, yeah. A man in full. I mean, anything he writes, I read. He's hysterical. He's brilliant and hysterical. Brilliant and hysterical. From our house to Bauhaus, he writes both novels and then these treaties. And nonfiction. Yeah, art and stuff and reportage. I apologize for saying reportage. And he has an ear for language. Yes. And he reinvented the novel and a lot of people like Norman Mailer, I believe Gore Vidal loathed him. Yeah, he went after like the main guys, like the kind of the American male novelist Updike and John Irving and Mailer. They all hated him. Yeah, so I think he wrote an essay about them or something. Yeah, he's not afraid of anything. Do you read fiction? I do. I do. Not a lot. I read mostly nonfiction, but I do read some fiction. Yeah. Do you think reading fiction is a waste of time? No. Given that there's so much you have to learn and then you just sit down with a book. No, no. Because literature is always about the human condition. It's about another perspective into another human because humans are writing these stories and even if they are characters, they're part of the human journey, especially if they're well-written. It's good literature. And I always read, as everyone does, when we read anything, whether it's fiction or nonfiction, we're always putting ourselves in the protagonist's point of view. We're always asking the question, would I do it that way? How would that have affected me? And so it's kind of a school of life, I believe literature is. And I think it's really essential to stand and step into other people's shoes. Yeah, but then my wife walks in and I'm wearing her stilettos and then all of a sudden, you know, it's divorce time. Yeah, yeah. Well, sometimes you have to put a lock on the door. You're going to read fiction. My truth is a whole other conversation for another time. I don't know. I mean, one of the things that I've always done when I met my heroes, I asked them, I don't mean to brag, but I met George Carlin twice. Don't be jealous. And hello? Yes, I'm jealous. One of the things I do is I always ask them how they navigate the tsunami of information coming at them. You know, they're reading habits and then I ask them about their work habits and I've talked to you on the show about what your father said to me, which I quote all the time. The creativity is organizing folders and just seeing patterns, but that's neither here nor there. With reading, I actually took some time off during a Labor Day and by that I mean nobody wanted to hire me. But I, you know, I kind of, I went into the woods and read and made sure nobody found the bodies and while I was reading, I realized I need eight hours a day to do the reading I need to do. To get through all the newspapers and magazines that I feel morally obligated to plow through. I need eight hours a day. Now, an argument could be made that I should have those eight hours because work should only take eight hours, but in America, you know, if somebody is paying you, they own you. How many hours do you read a day and how many hours do you think you should be reading a day? It depends on what the rhythm of my life is and what I'm doing. But I probably read, I mean, if I'm into a book, I'll probably read about an hour a day. Do you think that's enough? And usually at night. Yeah, I mean, it depends too on what you're doing. I mean, if you're doing research for something, or if you're, you know, I mean, the thing about life these days is everything is text. We're always on the internet and we're reading constantly. So in some ways we are reading all day, which I don't think is really a good thing because you need time to stew and percolate also. But we're reading headlines, you know, text. Yeah, but I think it just depends, you know, but I will take the Sunday and read the Sunday New York Times and that'll take me, you know, two hours, three hours to do. It depends on how casual I'm doing it. But, and I, you know, try to, I get the Paris review every quarter and try to read that. But I'm always behind. There's always books stacked next to my bedside and there's always magazines and I don't have enough time. And then like this weekend we'll be going up to the mountains and I'll bring a bunch of stack of stuff and dig into that a little bit and catch up. But, you know, it just depends. But there is a lot, there's a lot. And at some point you just have to realize that you're never going to know it all. You're never going to read it all. You don't have to know it all. I think you just have to know what comes across your desk at a certain time and, you know, believe that that's what you're meant to be reading right now. If you're playing golf instead of reading. Mm-hmm. I mean, aren't you wasting your time when you... Um... Well, that's a judgment. How do you... Yeah, I've been accused of being judgmental. I mean, you know, I... Granted I am on the State Supreme Court here in California. I mean, about three times a year I play golf and go out with friends and do it and we laugh very hard and that's social time. So, no, not wasting time then. But if I did that, you know, every day and I wasn't getting paid for it, maybe wasting time. What about binge watching? A binge watching I'm okay with. You know, it depends. I mean, if I really get into something, I will. The thing that I did this summer starting June 15th and I'm still doing for the most part is I got off of social media all summer. Wow. And I stopped wasting my time reading birthday notices and which Beatle are you game did you win or play? And it changed my life this summer. I've gotten my mind back. I've gotten my day back. Yeah. By the way, I got... Off social media. Yeah, it's wonderful. I just came up with a joke. Oh. Hang on. Here's my joke. Let me get a sip of water. Hang on. I came up with a joke. Everybody, hang on. Hold on. Sit down. Ah, that's good water. Here's my... I got off social media. They caught... This is... I don't know. They caught me trolling Leslie Jones. And... So, I took... I lost my Twitter account. I lost my Facebook. So, I'm off. You're off. And I've never felt better. I mean, I feel like there's a lot of angry texts and messages that I should be sending Leslie. But, yeah, there's another guy. So, you got... I'm sorry. I just can't believe anybody. Of all the things you have to do in life... Right. Somebody chose. You know what? I'm going to go after Leslie Jones. I know. I know. Well, the way I describe it, though, for me, it was... Most people get off of the Internet because of too much hate. I got off because of too much love. I just... After eight years, I couldn't take another person telling me how much they love my father. I just... I have to say it. It was... It's... I can't miss my father when 10 to 30 times a day, people are sending me videos, memes, clips, quotes... Thank you. ...pictures of my dad. Yeah. And so, yeah, I just... I had to get off and take a break from mostly my father. Yeah. And it's been really great. When George Carlin Way was being inaugurated here in New York, I was busy. I couldn't go to the... They did a special event to unveil the street, and then there was a show at Caroline's. Yes. And my lovely daughter helped you, I'm proud to say. Yeah. And I understand I didn't... I heard Gilbert Gottfried... Yes. ...was... It's the greatest thing ever. What did he do? So, Gilbert went up there and said to the audience, Am I the only one that's happy that this man is dead? And proceeded to do 10 minutes. And first of all, the audience was in horror and immediately looked at me and captured my dad's brother to see if we were laughing, which we were, and proceeded to do 10 minutes on how he hoped this man had suffered, how he had hoped he had choked in his last moments, how, I mean, just went on and on and on and kept upping the stakes and I was crying with tears of joy and knew it was the greatest honor that Gilbert could give to my father and to me. And, you know, as we know, Gilbert's balls are the size of Planet X. So, yeah, I mean, it was just the most gorgeous fucking 10 minutes of... Oh my God, it was so beautiful. It was. Yeah, I heard. Everybody who saw it said it was amazing. Yeah, it was stunning. Absolutely stunning. By the way, Gilbert Godfrey, who I've met, you know, occasionally, I'm in awe of him. I love Gilbert Godfrey. I have no dog in this fight. Do you listen to his podcast? Every once in a while. I don't really listen to a lot of people's podcasts, but if there's something interesting on there or a guest that I like or something, I will. Okay. I've been on his podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It's my favorite podcast. Yeah. You know, I'm just telling you... He and Frank are great. Yeah. And it's two things. One is there's an interview with John Biner. Ooh, I love John Biner. Me too. And I met his daughter at one of your parties. Yes. I'm a friend of hers. Yes. Yes. And John Biner reminded me of your dad. Yes. Little Irish scrappy Irish guy for sure. Yep. And I cannot recommend that he is so funny and so cool and tells these stories, these vivid stories and probably the best impressionist. And I remember as a kid being obsessed. There was a period where I was obsessed with John Biner, but that's neither here nor there. I went to see Gilbert at Caroline's. Alex Brazil took me and I didn't... I knew he was funny. I wasn't sure about his live show. Right. And at one point, I'm embarrassed to say this, I never understood like, oh, he was so funny I crap my pants. Like who craps their pants? Right. I didn't understand like where that came from. Thank God I was empty. Because at one point, I was laughing so hard and I went, oh, oh, I've lost my sphincter control. I've let go of everything. I mean, I just literally, just completely let go of everything. And I went, oh, I know I'm talking too much and I'll shut up. I also remember Dana Carvey doing Carcinio on SNL. Do you remember Carcinio? Yes. It was Johnny Carson trying to compete with Arsenio Hall. Right. So Dana was doing Johnny Carson dressed like Arsenio wearing like a big red suit and the hair is up. And I believe it was Phil Hartman playing Ed McMahon. And I remember I was by myself laughing so uncontrollably and I remember thinking this must, I don't even know what this means, but I remember laughing at Dana Carvey doing Carcinio and it was, I thought this must be what it's like for a woman to be entered by a man. I swear to God, I went, this must be what it's like to have a vagina and a man thrusting his penis into you nonstop. I don't know what that means, doctor, but... That'll be $160. Thank you. Thank you. Well, we need to do this more often. We do. We do. So you're not coming to me? You're not coming to me? No. I am in LA. I'm not coming. At least right now, hopefully by the end of the year, I'll make it there for a few days. I miss it, but it didn't happen this week. And where are we on the dog situation? Well, Nettie's been gone a while. Yeah, we'll talk about that. So we have little Stella, and she's doing much better. She thinks she's part human, finally. So she's warmed up a lot, and she's quite the life of the party now. So yeah, that's all we got. You haven't got another dog yet? No, no. We just decided to stick with Stella and kind of give her all the attention and all the love. And we think about it every once in a while, but we've always had two dogs. And when we went down to one dog, it was like, oh, this is kind of nice. I kind of get this. So even though she gets a little lonely, but it's a lot less work in a lot of way. Have you gone to Scotland this year? We did. We did go to Scotland this year. It was lovely. We had perfect weather and green rolling hills and some haggis and some men wore some kilts. Bob has a nice pair of legs. Bob has a very nice pair of legs. And yeah, the men drank whiskey and smoked cigars and they're kilts. And we played some croquet at midnight. It was fun. Well, Kelly Carlin, I love you. I love you too, Mr. Feldman. Please, please. Dr. Feldman. Mr. Feldman. And waking from the American Dream is your podcast? Yes. And people can find that on iTunes or SoundCloud. I have a new website, kellycarlin.com. Come onto my website, sign up for my mailing list. You can see all the groovy stuff I do. I'm not on social media as much as I used to be. I check in. I do post a little bit, but I don't hang out there at all. And if you really love me, world, don't post anything about my dad to me. Otherwise, I will probably block you. No. Really? No. I'll mute. I mute people sometimes. And I just let people know that these days, it's very distracting and traumatic for me to have to see my dad all day long. And I just ask people not to do that for me anymore. And most people really understand. And the ones who don't, those are the ones who get blocked. Right. But when we first met, it's interesting. And I will, you know what? I will refrain from doing that. I remember thanking you when I met you for receiving that love. Yes. And I did for many years. And now it's been eight years. And it's time for me to miss my dad. It's time for him to be gone on some level. And I've just donated. I haven't physically donated the items yet, but I'm donating his archives to the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York. So I'm letting go of his stuff physically. And it's time for me to have a separate life now. I've done, you know, I've done The Good Daughter. And I am a good daughter. And I love my father. And I protect his legacy like a pit bull. And I will promote him until the day I die when we have something to give to the world from George Carlin. But it's time for me to be a separate person now. All right. So here's the deal between you and me. I will try to stop talking to you about your father unless you want to and unless you have some final. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, I appreciate it. I mean, I love talking. You know, when I've got something to talk about it, I love it, you know, but, but yeah, we could talk about what we did tonight. We talked about Tom Wolf and we talked about Ann Coulter and we talked about the anti-Semite Joseph Campbell. By the way, that was a compliment that he's an anti-Semite. Oh, that's the only thing I like. That's the only thing I like about him. You know, it's interesting as I don't talk about my dad and their things, their private, you know, their things that I just don't want to. You know, it's anyway. Waiting for the American Dream. Everybody should listen to that podcast. The Carlin Home Companion is a great book. It's coming out in paperback, you say. It is in October. Yes. I made it to paperback. It's exciting. In Rocktober, it's coming out. Rocktober. That's yours. And the name of the vinyl is... I kind of like it when a lot of people die. Yeah. And people should buy this. Yeah, you should. It's quintessential Carlin. And it's a good laugh. And there's fart jokes on the album. You know, because it really... I mean, he goes as dark as possible, and of course there's going to be some fart jokes because it's what he does well. Bye, Kelly. Bye, David. Thank you so much, darling. I love you. I'm going to give my life to Bob. I will. I love you, too. Okay. Bye. I'm going to tell you about a podcast that I listen to. Two of my friends host it. And I think you should listen to it. Andrew Goldstein. Maybe you remember him as my Jew on some of our more popular episodes of The David Feldman Show. Andrew Goldstein is a brilliant comedy writer from MTV and Race Wars. And Matt Goldich writes for Late Night with Seth Meyers, a brilliantly funny comedian and comedy writer. They have a new podcast. You can download it on iTunes. It's called Sorry I've Been So Busy. You know, everyone always says they're so busy, but what exactly are they so busy with? Well, in their podcast Sorry I've Been So Busy, writer, comedians Matt Goldich and Andrew Goldstein talk to their interesting and funny friends to find out what they've actually been so busy with. Everything from major life and career events to everyday minutia. Sorry I've Been So Busy is the only podcast that will never blow you off unless something comes up.