 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, you know, has been famous for years for bringing you the very finest foods, quality foods, the world's favorite varieties of cheese, America's choice in salad dressings, and many other wonderful things to eat. When you shop, look for the name Kraft. Remember, the name Kraft on any food is your guarantee of quality. Well, it's a crisp cold night in Summerfield. Here and there, a lighted Christmas tree glows warmly in the window. Holly wreaths have begun to appear. The ground is white with new snow and it's still falling. Big fat flakes that cling to the porches and to the trees into the brim of the Great Gilded Sleeve's hat as he hurries down his front steps, ventures cautiously onto the slippery walk, then strides gaily across the street toward Mr. Bullard's house. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Here's the season to be jolly, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Hey! Don, we- what? Where are you going? Yeah, Leroy, I'm going to see Paula. Yeah, I mean, Mrs. Winthrop this evening. Did you get an official pass from Mr. Bullard to call on his sister? Leroy, I don't need a pass. It's Christmas. I think I'll go with you, Ang. You bet. I'll sit and talk to Babs while you talk to her mother. The couch in front of the fireplace is a four-seater. Yeah, Leroy, you can see Babs anytime. Just kidding, Ang. I'll bow out. You need all the breaks you can get anyway. What's this? Well, you haven't seen Mrs. Winthrop much since that rival blew into town. Oh, that fellow, Bruce Pendleton. Yeah, Brucey. That's what she calls him. Yofer. Competition, Ang. Leroy, he's just in town for the holidays. And he's staying at Mr. Bullard's club. I'm sure he's as much Mr. Bullard's friend as he is Paula's. Yeah. I don't think he'd take so long on the porch these nights if he was just saying good night to Mr. Bullard. Hmm, I'd better hurry right over there. Good luck, Doc. Thank you, my boy. I mean, I can meet the competition. I can take my time saying good night, too. Well, throw up, Morton. Hello, Paula. Come in. Oh, my. It's snowing out, isn't it? It's just a little. Look at you. You have a big snowflake right on the end of your nose. Yeah, I do. Well, cold nose, warm heart. Hee-hee-hee-hee. Hee-hee-hee-hee. Let me take your coat. Yes, thank you. Well, beautiful tree, Paula. And Christmas presents. Are all those for me? Oh, no. But you can help me finish wrapping them. Fine. A lot of presents. Well, Babs and I have lots of relatives. Well, yes, surely. And then I couldn't forget those little boys and girls at the children's home. Say, you have been very active in social work since you came to Summerfield. I'm proud of you, Paula. Oh, it's just something I love doing very much. And there are few children in the infirmary that Santa Claus may not remember this year. Good for you. It'd be a shame if any little kitties were forgotten on Christmas. Hee-hee-hee. Here, put your finger on this ribbon while I tie the knot. You're right. The interesting design you're using, Paula. Missal-toe paper. Just put the package over there. Yeah, I think I'll bounce her out of top of your head. Oh, no! You know what that means? Missal-toe. Hee-hee-hee-hee. Aren't you, uh, rushing the season a little? You owe me four more shopping days. You better put the package down there by the tree. Shucks. Say, here's a fancy-looking package. I think that's my gift from Babs. Oh, she couldn't wait, huh? Let me shake this. I bet I can guess what's in it. Oh, now, drop more. You? Card fellow. Oh, dear. Well, isn't it just like that? To the dearest girl I know, Bruce. Bruce! Throckmorton, give me the package. That one isn't from Babs. No, just not. Bruce Pendleton. Pushy out of Thomas. I can hardly wait to open his present. He always thinks of the most original things. Well, I haven't brought you my present yet. I might have to think of something pretty original, too. Oh, give me a hint. A hint? Well... Bruce keeps teasing me about what's in this package. Yeah, he does, does he? All you tell me is that it starts with a P for Paula. Isn't that clever? Well, I guess there's a fine line between being clever and being corny. Now, Throckmorton, he's very ingenious. In fact, the mistletoe paper was his idea. You was? Well, you may have been his idea. But I was the first one who thought of holding it over your head. I think. Couldn't sleep last night. Coming, Birdie! Yeah, I wonder what Paula is getting from that Bruce character. Why isn't he back in Dayton working? Maybe he owns a factory or something. Well, I'll have to go him one better. Good morning, Anki. Hi, Anki. Good morning, children. You... You... Where's Bronco? Oh, he grabbed a doughnut and ran off to shop for the twins. Oh? Uh-huh. He has to play Santa this year, you know. Oh, yes. Oh, the twins are so excited. They look at the tree and the colored lights and laugh. What are they laughing at? They don't know what Christmas is all about. Yeah, I wish I had something to laugh about. Marjorie? Yes, Anki? What Christmas presents can you think of that begin with the letter P? The letter P? Well, who's the present for, Anki? A little nephew pal of yours, spelled P-A-L? Hardly, Leroy. I was thinking of something for a young lady. Oh, you mean me. You really get around to you children later. There's a present under Paula Winthrop's tree, and it starts with the letter P. I'm trying to figure out what it is. Uh-huh. It's her present from Brucey, isn't it? Well, yes. Well, if it's from your rival, why do you want to know what's in it, Anki? Well, I don't want to give her the same present. I'd like to give her something a little better. Well, if it starts with the P, maybe it's perfume. Yeah, it's a big package. That'd be a pretty cheap perfume. I'll bet it's a palomino pony. Leroy. Like some hot coffee, Miss Giltley? Yeah, thank you, Bertie. Could it be perfume? No, sir. This is coffee. It is. Bertie, we're trying to think of some gift a woman would like, starting with the letter P. Something for a woman? How about Petticoat? He wouldn't dare. Any other ideas, Bertie? Well, it could be something for the kitchen. Let's see, pots, pans, percolator. Bertie, this is a present for Miss Winthrop. Yes, sir. And you say it starts with the letter P. Oh, I got it, Mr. Giltley. You have? I know something she likes. Fill it down with cream cheese. Oh, my goodness. What a crafty answer. That Bruce Pendleton. You wish I had a thought of giving her something starting with P for Paula. Let's see. It might be a purse, or a string of pearls. What a commissioner you're getting in over your head. Well, good morning, Giltley. Well, the honorable Judge Hooker. Good morning, Horace. You were walking along with a faraway look in your eye, dreaming of a white Christmas. You old goat. I'm trying to get an idea about a Christmas present for Mrs. Winthrop, Horace. Oh, well, I came down to hear the craft choral club. They're going to sing under the community Christmas tree. Oh, yes. Let's get a little closer. I've been so worried about Paula's Christmas present, I almost forgot they were in town. They came all the way from Chicago, Giltley. I know, Judge. See, there's a lot of them. Wonder who makes the cheese while they're on tour. Shh. They're about to sing. Ladies and gentlemen, at this Christmas season, it is our pleasure to present the craft choral club under the direction of Gerhard Schroep. Magnificent. They're great, all right. I'll try to find something for Paula and the hurry and come back. I'll wait here, Giltley. In fact, I may go up and sing with them. Please, not that, Judge. They didn't come all the way from Chicago to hear you cackle. Now, Giltley, wait. They're going to sing again. Yes, it's beautiful. Nothing like the carols at this time of year. They warm the cockles of my heart and send the eulogyed spirit coursing through my veins. Quiet, Horace. Listen. There's no one else who doesn't, in just a moment. Again, this year, as the holiday season approaches, the makers of craft-quality foods wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year. During the year now drawing to a close, we have appreciated the confidence you have shown through your purchases in all the fine food products which your grocer has brought to you from craft. You may be sure that craft products will continue to merit your confidence in the future as they have in the past, The craft name on any label will continue to be your guide to the very finest in foods. Again, we say Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to each of you from all the men and women of craft. Now, back to the Great Gildersleeve. Well, there's a fancy Christmas package under the tree at Paula Winthrop's house from Gildersleeve's out-of-town rival. What's in it? That's what the water commissioner would like to know. Whatever it is, I'll get her something better. He may have the edge in me saying goodbye on the porch, but by George, I'll beat him under the Christmas tree. He'll go all out. Hello, Phoebe. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. What can I do for you this afternoon? Hey, I'm looking for a Christmas present, Phoebe. For a lady. Something extra special. A gift for Mrs. Winthrop, is it? You bet. That sneaky Pendleton fellow bought her something that looks pretty nice. And I'm going to go him one better. I'm going to get her something so beautiful and so clever, it'll make him look silly. Am I giving you trouble, isn't it? Well, I guess Paula's impressed with the guy because he came all the way from Dayton to see her. Well, that does take more of an effort than just walking across the street the way you do. Any ideas, Phoebe? Well, you might go to Dayton and come back. No, Phoebe, I want suggestions about a gift. Now, what did she like? Has she dropped any hints? No. She's been too busy planting a nice Christmas for the children's home. She spends a lot of time over there. Oh, nice. There must be something clever and original I can get for her, Phoebe. Does she like sweetmeats? Sweetmeats? We have some very attractive boxes of candied prunes. Quite healthful, too. No, Phoebe. Now, how about some musical bass salt? No. Well, how about a nice set of bass scales? Women like to weigh themselves, you know. No. Mr. Gildesleeve, you're rather hard to play in. Yo. Phoebe, I've got to get something different. Something original. Now, you've had plenty of experience at this Christmas thing. That's true. You've been buying Christmas presents for Mrs. Phoebe? Yes, I have. Well, certainly, after all that time. A man shouldn't know what it takes to please a woman. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Oh, my goodness. I can see you're going to be no help at all, Phoebe. I'm going over to Hogan Brothers. That's a good idea. And happy shopping, Mr. Gildesleeve. Happy shopping. Oops. Elevator's crowded. What a mob in the house. Everybody waits until the last minute to buy presents. Whoop. Watch that umbrella, lady. Second floor, phonographs, radios, toys. Out on two, please. You might get a radio. Yeah, everybody has a radio. That'd be more original than that if I'm going to beat that date in Don Juan. Christmas won't mean a thing to me unless I outdo it. He... Well, cute toys up here. Oh, is that you, Mr. Gildesleeve? Well, hello, Bertie. What are you doing up here in toys? Oh, I got a lot of little nieces and nephews I have to buy for. Oh, yes. They don't have much. So when I show up every Christmas with my arms full of toys, they think I'm some pumpkin. Yeah, I'll bet they do, Bertie. Say, what if I showed up with an arm full of toys? They think I'm some pumpkin. Yeah, I'll bet they do, Bertie. What if I showed up with an arm full of toys for those kiddies at the children's home? The ones Mrs. Winthrop is so fond of. Oh, them gentlemen think you are some pumpkins, too, Mr. Gildesleeve. Well, I guess they would. What's more, I'd be some pumpkins with Paula, too. Yes, sir. You bet. There's nothing I could do that'd impress her more. I, George, this is a great idea we had, Bertie. Click, click! I want to buy some toys. The kids are. If Paula's car is parked out in front, Bertie. Say, I'll bet she's in the infirmary. Well, I'll walk in on them, pass out these toys to the little kiddies and tell Paula this is my Christmas present to her. What can she say? Except that I'm the greatest guy in the world. This'll fix that Bruce Pendleton. You can never top this. Yeah, here we are. I see some children. Hello, kiddies. Hello. Hello. Uh, where's Mrs. Winter? She'll be back. She went to get some orange juice. Oh. And where are all the rest of the children? They got taken downtown. They did? Yeah, to see the big Christmas tree. All that we're able to go. I see. Well, I'll just put these packages down and wait for Mrs. Winter. Are you Santa Claus? Me? No, he's not Santa Claus. He hasn't got a white beard. But he's nice and fat. Yeah, but he's not Santa Claus. Santa Claus never comes around here. Oh, wait a minute, young fellow. I'm sort of a Santa Claus. I brought all these presents to you children. For us, honest and truly. Oh, boy. You see, Tommy, he is Santa Claus. Oh, boy. I got to come over and see him. Tommy's lucky. He's in a wheel chair. Oh. Well, I'll bring the presents around to your little bed when Mrs. Winthrop comes. I'm not opening mine now. No, wait a minute, Tommy. You shouldn't open presents until Christmas. I don't want to open mine until Christmas. I just want to dream about what's in them. That's the idea, little girl. Well, we're waiting for Mrs. Winthrop. Will you read us a Christmas story? Christmas story? That's what she was doing. Yeah, in that book. Well, I like stories. I used to read them to my niece and nephew. Let's see what we have here. Why the Chimes Rang by Raymond McDonald Alden. I like that one. I don't know it. Well, I've been in here longer than you have. Well, let's read it. We don't have much time. Once upon a time, in a faraway country, there was a wonderful church. It stood in a high hill in the midst of a great city. And every Sunday, as well as on sacred days like Christmas, thousands of people climbed the hill to its great archways, looking like lines of ants all moving in the same direction. They don't allow ants in here. Stop interrupting, Tommy. Yes, you must listen, Tommy. Now, all the people knew that at the top of the tower was a chime of Christmas bells. They'd hung up there ever since the church had been built, and were the most beautiful bells in the world. Some described them as sounding like angels far up in the sky. Others as sounding like strange winds singing through the trees. But for many years, they had never been heard. Why didn't the bells ring? Well, we're coming to that. It was said that people had been growing less careful of their gifts for the Christ child, and that no offering was brought, which was fine enough to deserve the music of the child. Every Christmas Eve, people still crowded to the altar, each one trying to bring some gift better than any other. Why'd they do that? Well, for personal reasons, I guess. They were trying to make a big impression. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Now, a number of miles from the city, in a little country village lived a boy named Pedro and his little brother. They had heard of the service in the church on Christmas Eve, and to go see the beautiful celebration. Nobody can guess, little brother, Pedro would say, all the fine things there are to see and hear. And I've even heard it said that the Christ child himself sometimes comes down to bless the service. What if we could see him? The day before Christmas, Pedro and little brother were able to slip quietly away. And although the walking was hard in the frosty air, before nightfall, they had trudged so far, hand in hand, that they saw the lights of the big city, just ahead of them. They were about to enter one of the great gates in the wall that surrounded it. And they saw something dark on the snow near their path and stepped aside to look at it. What was it? Well, let's see. There by the path was a poor woman who had fallen in the snow, too sick and tired to get in, where she might have found shelter. Oh. Pedro knelt down beside her. You will have to go on alone, little brother, he said. Alone, cried little brother, but you will not see the Christmas festival. No, said Pedro, and he could not keep back a bit of choking sound in his throat. This poor woman, her face looks like the Madonna in the chapel window, and she will freeze to death if nobody cares for her. But I cannot bear to leave you and go on alone, said little brother. Both of us need not miss the service, said Pedro. And it better be I than you. You can easily find your way to the church. And you must see and hear everything twice, little brother, once for you and once for me. And oh, if you get a chance, little brother, to slip up to the altar without getting in anyone's way, take this little silver piece of mine and lay it down for my offering when no one is looking. In this way, he hurried little brother off to the city and winked hard to keep back the tears as he heard the crunching footsteps sounding farther and farther away in the twilight. The great church was wonderful that night. When the organ played and the thousands of people sang, the walls shook with the sound. And little Pedro, way outside the city wall, felt the earth tremble around him. At the close of the service came the procession with the offerings to be laid on the altar. Rich men and great men marched proudly up to lay down their gifts to the Christ child. Some brought wonderful jewels, some brought baskets of gold, but the chimes did not ring. And last of all came the king of the country, hoping with all the rest to win for himself the chime of the Christmas bells. And what a great murmur through the church as the people saw the king take from his head the royal crown, all set with precious stones and lay it gleaming on the altar as his offering to the holy child. Surely everyone said, we shall hear the bells now, for nothing like this has ever happened before. But still, only the cold, old wind was heard in the tower. And the people shook their heads and some of them said as they had said before that they never really believed the story of the chimes and doubted if they ever rang at all. Suddenly, everyone looked at the old minister who was standing by the altar holding up his hand for silence. Not a sound could be heard from anyone in the church, but as all the people strained their ears to listen, there came softly but distinctly swinging through the air the sound of the chimes in the tower. So far away. And yet so clear the music seemed. So much sweeter were the notes than anything that had been heard before, rising and falling away up there in the sky that the people in the church sat for a moment as still as though something held each of them by the shoulders. And they all stood up together and stared straight at the altar to see what great gift had awakened the long silent bells. But all that the nearest of them saw was the childish figure of little brother who had crept softly down the aisle when no one was looking and had laid Pedro's little piece of silver on the altar. That's a wonderful story. Why did the bells ring when little brother laid the piece of silver on the altar? Well... Why didn't they ring when the great men brought jewels and things? Well, like the book said, each one was trying to bring some gift better than any other. Those men were trying to outdo each other while little Pedro gave out of the goodness of his heart. He didn't have any ulterior motive. Ulterior motive? What's that? Well, I guess that's what I had when I came in here. That's Mrs. Winthrop coming. It is? Yeah. Good. I guess I'll be going. Aren't you going to wait and see Mrs. Winthrop? Where are you going, mister? Well, I think I'll sneak out this side door. Oh, she know who brought the presents. Well, that's not important anymore. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. I'll tiptoe down the back steps. Well, five o'clock. I didn't know the children's home had chimes. Merry Christmas, everybody. Portions of the preceding program were transcribed. Groucho Marx, you bet your life, he's on NBC.