 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day. See your dentist twice a year Leverbrothers company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Bank says Jane Friendship, friendship, just a perfect friendship when other friendships have been forgotten. There's will still be hot Birds have migrated south where they'll remain until spring Which reminds me of the girl I live with Irma Peterson Not that she's gone south because she's right here with me in New York City She may be here, but believe me her brain is in Miami Now don't misunderstand I love her and there's really nothing wrong with her except that Well, for instance the other day I was reading the paper and I said Irma. Yes, this is very interesting It says here that soy beans have a thousand and one uses they're even using them to make paint with Soy beans gosh, that must make the paint awfully lumpy My Irma a living contradiction to the scientific theory that no one can live in a vacuum Oh, well She's still my roommate and I'll stick up for her anytime right now We're both in the apartment and everything's quite normal. I think oh no, it isn't Irma is covering up the calendar with her hand Irma. Yes, Jane. Why are you covering the calendar with your hands? It's a secret What do you mean secret tomorrow's my birthday? Well, why the whispering? I want to give myself a surprise party No one ever surprises themselves. Oh, yes, they do remember the time I added up eight and eight y'all and I got 16 Yes, well, I wasn't I surprised An accident But about your birthday party, honey You don't have to go around whispering because I've already made plans for the day plan. Yes, honey I'm giving you a birthday party and I've invited all our friends. Oh Jane. It's so sweet of you You're the best friend a girl ever had Thank you, honey. Sometimes I wish you were twins then if one of you got married I could still go on living with the one that got jilted That's a nice thought for journey's end Now here sweetie, here's the list of names. I invited to your party. Oh, let me see. Oh, Mrs. O'Reilly and Professor Karpotkin Who and Richard Ryan Lander and the Martins and Al? Oh Jane I wish you hadn't said sent Alan invitation. Why don't you want him to come to your birthday party? Yes, but I'd rather have him think it was a Halloween party. I don't want him to know I'm getting any older Don't be foolish Irma. Well, you know what they say our girls should always marry a man older than she is and I'm afraid I'll lose out That's ridiculous. Al must be at least three years older than you are, but he won't be if I keep on having birthdays Stop worrying besides I can't understand what you see in that unemployment bench warmer Jane you don't know the real Al. I'll admit he doesn't work and he has no ambition But to me he's the man of my dreams, and I hope he never wakes up. You know, I think you'll get your wish Now tell me honey, do you okay this invitation list as is? Oh, it's it's fine Jane But I would like to invite one more person who some friend of yours. No, some friend of yours Richard's mother Mrs. Rhinelander. Oh, I know she's a society and lives on Park Avenue But she seemed to like me the two times she was here before but honey. I Well, I don't know how to explain it, but well Mrs. Rhinelander's always so busy with her high social affairs like Well, I like charity bazaars horse shows riding to the Hounds. Yes I know and shooting grouches grouches Yes, those little fat duck Irma. That's gross Honey, that's not what I mean. It's just that well frankly, I wouldn't know how to go about asking her Well, couldn't you ask Richard to invite her? Well? I don't know honey Richard and I have only just started seeing each other again And then oh no, I mean it's preposterous. Oh try Jane come in It's only me professor Kropotkin Jane you know my two little ballet dancers one on her toes the other still spinning Excuse me a little joke I picked up What difference does it make? Why professor? Well girls, I received the invitation to Amos party tomorrow night and I was wondering would you like I should bring my fiddle Maybe you'll want to have dance. Oh gotta be swell professor. Have you decided what kind of costume you're gonna wear costume? Oh, I forgot to tell you sweetie I thought we should make your birthday a little different this year, so I decided it's going to be a costume affair Oh, well, I was thinking I would come as a sea captain Jamie because every time I walk into my room I feel as though I've gone down with the ship I Wonder what I should wear. Oh, maybe I'll come as Pocahontas then an Al could come as John Smith and save my life What are you gonna wear Jane? Well? I thought I'd like to come as Joan of Arc. Oh, I see then Richard could come as Noah Right idea Darling I want to get you something nice for your birthday and since I'm an old friend I want you should tell me what you'd like Professor you don't have to bring me a present you work hard for your money and as they say it. It isn't the gift It's the value I know what you mean. It's the thought behind it. Yeah, so why don't you save your money and just give me the thought behind it? Never mind. I'm I'll think of something nice. Tell me Janie is Mrs. O'Reilly coming to the party Well, I sent her an invitation. Why do you ask? Well, I just want to be prepared I think outcome is a straw man. So when that old crow shows up I can scare her away from me Look professor, will you do me a favor Janie for you anything in the world? All right, then at the party try to be nice to Mrs. O'Reilly All right, Jamie, but it's a cruel world and Speaking of cruelty, I think I'll go back to that torture chamber. I call my room Goodbye girl All right, Irma. Let's not waste time. I want to straighten this room up. Well, I'll help you Jane Okay, but only with the understanding that you stop sweeping things under the rug All our furniture is standing at an angle Why don't you use the Hoover vacuum cleaner because the Democrats won this year and I didn't think was patriotic Hey, chicken got your invitation chicken and want you to know I'm getting you the best present Tiffany's can offer Oh, well from Tiffany's. Yeah, just as soon as my latest deal comes through Another deal what is it this time putting straps on beer bottle caps and selling them for wristwatches? No would conflict with prevailing patents now this one is a special device for thugs who attend to hide it It's a blackjack with built-in band-aids. So when the victim is slugged he automatically gets first aid Creative don't you think? Oh, it's great. Jane. You've got to admit it. Al is one who was always on his toes That's only because his landlady has locked him out and he's trying to get in through the transom Ignore her chicken. What plans you made for your party? Oh gee. I'm so excited. What are you going to wear Al? That's not my problem That's something else of my mind and in that case there's only one man to call who else who else but hello Joe Al got a problem. Tamara is Irma's birthday. Want to get her a gift. What do you got? uh-huh uh-huh Brass knuckles custom jewelry What else Joe a beautiful miniature of Abraham Lincoln? Hey, where'd you get it Joe? Oh, you just finished printing some five dollar bills Any day now, they're going to take our phone out. Please Jane. I'm talking to a gentleman See Joe, I think I'll run over and see Dowage of the jeweler You what do you mean? He's all tied up. Oh, your boys just left them and he's all tied up Well, I'll be over anyway. Thank you and goodbye noble friend. Come on chicken I want you to help me pick out your gift. All right Al Is anything wrong? Not at all. I just wanted to check this invitation. I received to Irma's birthday party It says costume party. Well, what about it? Are you kidding Jane? No Richard? You've got to wear a costume Oh fine and at this late hour. Well, I'll think of something. I know I'll wear a jailbird outfit Oh Richard then if the income tax man comes to question me. I can go with him without changing clothes Oh you and your Wall Street jokes Richard, I just got a thought Well, Irma wants me to Richard it's preposterous, but well Richard, do you think that? Do you think that your mother would come to Irma's birthday party? Why I'm sure she would Jane mother's very fond of you And she says Irma's the most refreshing child. She's ever met. I'll tell her she's well More than welcome Richard and it's for you young lady. When are you coming back to work for me as my secretary? Well, I'm thinking about it, but there are a lot of problems involved. There are rather Well, maybe this will eliminate some of them Richard you're bribing me not a bad bribe was it? No I've kind of got the feeling that the overtime work could be fun Well, I'll see you at the party Richard. Good night. Good night Jane She's not here Al. Hey chicken look at this note on the table. It's from Jane. Oh, what's it say? Irma Mrs. Rhinelander is coming to your party. Oh, that's wonderful. Just a second chicken Do not think this is fair you and Jane inviting your friends Why can't I have a friend of mine to the party show them what a swell galley gut? Oh, I guess that'd be all right. Oh, who did you wish to invite? There is only one man. I would invite who well who else but Joe Yeah, he's a regular guy and he wants to meet you. I admit if you want references about him you have to go to the police station But Joe's a pretty lonely guy. He don't get out much and when he does he's trailed But Mrs. Rhinelander is coming and I don't know how she and Joe get along and What will Jane think no one has to know Joe is here. He'll be wearing a disguise and a mask Okay, I'll tonight the upper world will mix with the underworld Gee, maybe I better not come why not chicken because everybody says I'm out of this world Winning smile is a pepsi and smile Again and again people have found it true the smile that wins is the pepsi and smile Here's proof Mary Louise shine registered nurse whose smile wins recruits for her proud profession a Scarsdale, New York girl Mary Louise graduated from Georgetown University School of Nursing Now her picture is appearing in magazines newspapers and on billboards in the campaign urging young Americans to make nursing their career Former patients won't be surprised that Mary Louise was chosen model nurse for this campaign They'll remember her cheering smile the recent bride of a Chicago doctor Mary Louise herself said no other toothpaste gets teeth So bright that's why my smile will always be a pepsi and smile Like Mary Louise shine people all over America agree the smile that wins is the pepsi and smile In recent comparison tests thousands of people preferred pepsi and witherium over the brands. They've been using at home Yes, pepsi didn't one by the overwhelming average of three to one for its cool Mitty taste for making breath cleaner and teeth brighter Try a new pepsi and toothpaste with the area man You will see the smile that wins is the pepsi and smile Out of the party and since Richard is coming I want to have everything he likes now Let's see he likes Paul Masson champagne a mild cigar and strong coffee Of course with Al there's no problem Al likes anything he can get as long as it's for nothing As for Irma she too has been contributing her best efforts first she baked a cake and I must say it came out very well Then she covered with it with frosting which looked very nice a little later when I looked at it Irma had lettered happy birthday very beautifully across the top in large raised letters I didn't know what she used to make the lettering Until I happened to notice two empty tubes of pepsidant next to the cake Irma, yes, tell me something. Did you use pepsidant for this lettering instead of frosting? Yes, why? Well frosting always gives me cavities and pepsidant is good for the teeth Then Irma out for ice cream and called Mrs. O'Reilly to help me get things ready Is everything on the table Mrs. O'Reilly? Yes, Janie. Is there anything else I can do? No, and thanks a million You've been a wonderful help all glad to do it Janie By the way, do you have any strong glue? Yes, there's a tube right there on the shelf. Oh, thank you I need it for me new eyelashes, you know There's an awful lot of winking to be done at these parties and I don't want any accidents Well, I'm sure we'll all have a good time and I do hope you and the professor will get along Oh, I hope so too Janie if I do say so I have quite a crush on the man The professor just likes to tease me. Oh, maybe so Janie We understand Richard will be at the party. Yes, and he's bringing his mother I hope it'll be a nice party and that nothing goes wrong Hello Jane. Hello, Mr. Riley Irma. Didn't you pick up the ice cream? I ordered well I didn't want to take it because there was something wrong with it. It was smoking Sweetie that's from the dry ice. It's packed in dry ice. Oh, I thought it tasted funny for ice cream You want me to go back? No, I'll have them deliver it. Irma, you said something about a surprise guest coming this evening Who is it? Oh five feet two eyes of blue Irma I'm in no mood for charades. Who is it? Oh, it doesn't matter. Oh Jane. It's getting late We better get into our costume my goodness. It is getting late. I'd better get right upstairs and get into my costume Well, what are you coming as miss O'Reilly? Well, I felt that I'd like to wear something Spanish So I asked the professor for a suggestion and he said I should come as a hacienda Janie, what's a hacienda? Why that's a large house Get me hands on him. No wonder he said I had a perfect veranda for it Very gala people are coming in wearing the most unusual costumes and with everyone wearing masks It's impossible to tell who is who Irma, I recognize she's wearing a little girl's dress and Carrying a piece of meat in her hand Irma, who are you supposed to be? I couldn't find any sheep. So I'm little Mary had a lamb chop Professor I recognize he's dressed as Satan Professor, what made you pick the costume of Satan? Well, I thought it would be appropriate since the room I live in reminds me of devil's island Very unique costume and old witch. Hello Jane. Why mrs. Rhinelander, I didn't recognize you. Welcome Oh, thank you. It's just grand seeing you in Irma again Happy birthday Irma dear and many of them. Oh, thank you mrs. Rhinelander and many of them to you Oh Well, I'd rather not think of it after all I'm too score in 17. Gee you don't look as old as a Gettysburg address Leasman's uniform. Well, it was all I could get at the last minute. Oh, this should be fun Maybe later on I'll wind up in the arms of the law. Yes, and maybe you'll get a life sentence. You know what I mean Um, tell me Irma. Where's Al? Well, he's latent. Yeah, I can't understand it He generally arrives the same time the food does. Well, I wonder what can be detainee him Hello, hello Jane. Al. Why aren't you here at the party? I'm across the street in the drugstore Been watching your window and do not like what I'm seeing. You got a mean streak in you Well, what do you mean? What's the idea and vital against cops? It's just that they have made all my friends exclusive It takes off that uniform or anything wrong. Oh, this is unbelievable. Al says the side of your uniform I'm nerves him and he won't come in unless you take it off Might just as well not have been. Now don't cry Irma. If Al feels that way, the solution is simple Jane, do you have a sheet? Well, yes Richard. What for? I'll take this cap and jacket off and wrap the sheet around me And with a towel turban, I'll be the chic of arabi. Oh, Richard. That's so sweet of you Now all you need is a camel. You know one of those horses with the two gas tanks Now just a minute Al Richard is going to change his costume. So hurry over. Goodbye Oh Richard, you're wonderful. You can change right in that room Oh professor looking for something. Look, she's here. Mrs. O'Reilly Why professor that witch is mrs. Rhinelander Irma Mrs. Rhinelander. Oh, I beg your pardon. I thought it was mrs. O'Reilly without a costume No professor. That's mrs. O'Reilly over there in that Spanish costume the one you just finished dancing with How do you like that? And I thought that heavy veil over her face was supposed to give her an air of mystery It just shows you you can never tell a book by its cover and here I almost started reading a horror story Mrs. Rhinelander, may I be honored with this dance? Yes professor. I was waiting for you to ask me Oh, the radio is playing a zamba. Can you dance to this music? Why not? Don't you think I know a waltz when I hear it? Let's go Isn't she sweet? Yes And just think someday you and Richard will be married and you'll have a baby and she'll be your grandmother Yes, Irma. Miss Stacy. Oh, look another policeman. You weren't invited. I know I want to talk with you to step into the kitchen here Look here officer. This is a private party. I don't know what's going on here, but from headquarters We got a tip. There's a character here named joe joe Irma Is that al's friend joe? I won't talk. I'm no stupid pigeon I have nothing against joe except that we want him for questioning I don't know what disguise he's wearing. So I'll just go out there and mosey around Irma Peterson, how could you invite that character? Well, al begged me and when he does that it brings out the mother in me I couldn't turn down my own son as the humiliation. We're facing richard is here. Mrs. Rhinelander We'll all be taken away in the police wagon. Why why? Honey, let me explain to you joe is Well in the vernacular joe is hot. Oh, that's silly. How can he be hot when al says he just got out of the cooler? I understand richard will never talk to me again. Oh, I'm sorry jay. Sorry Crossing me richard is still wearing a policeman is the real mccoy and he's looking for your friend joe Joe serving jail is bread and water. I'm making some sandwiches This is ridiculous. I'm leaving The most delightful party really it's too bad. It's not going to be written up in the newspapers. It still may be Oh, excuse me. Mrs. Rhinelander Now look Irma crying won't help. We've got to face the music I'm not thinking of that. I'm just heartbroken about al Al what about him? Well, look at him dancing with that tall shapely blonde. Where I noticed richard give her the eye too He's hugging her now. He's squeezing her hand. Oh, I hate all the men I despise pass a law making all the men he'll live together Irma. They're coming this way I won't even talk to him. Good night chicken lovely party. Happy birthday. I'm taking mr. Lila home. Come my Honey, it's all you can expect of someone like him. I'm surprised this hasn't happened before till lila. I hate that name It was a lila who ruined napoleon Honey, lila was samson sweetheart. Oh, she probably ran around with everybody Through with them. I'm gonna take that piece of wedding cake. I've had under my pillow for three months and eat it I'll yeah changed my plans chicken just put the lila in a cab and sent her home Well, you should have gone home with her the way you were drooling over. Well, she's a pretty snappy number The kind of phrase the lila is hot in six states. You see chicken. Delilah is joe Joe yeah had to get him out of here that policeman was on the make so to speak And joe don't like the way them guys pinch All the time I thought I doubt you again That's the spirit chicken and to make your birthday party something you'll never forget I'm gonna give you a kiss for every year How old are you chicken? Oh, what's the difference? You start kissing me time will fly And you know something that's a silly remark because if there's one person who doesn't know what time it is It's my friend erma Your winning smile Your winning smile is a pepsiadent smile again and again people have found the smile that wins is the pepsiadent smile Yes, it's true It's borne out by the vote of thousands of people who tried new pepsiadent toothpaste with erium in a recent nationwide test These people were given plain unlabeled tubes of pepsiadent and were asked to compare it with the brands they were using at home When their votes came in pepsiadent won by the overwhelming average of three to one These people say new pepsiadent tastes better Makes their breath cleaner and their teeth brighter than any other toothpaste they tried Remember that's not just our opinion. That's what people say They say it three to one So try a new pepsiadent toothpaste with erium and you will see the smile that wins is the pepsiadent smile My friend ermas produced and directed by sy hoard park levy writes the script with stanley adams and roland mcclain And it is brought to you by pepsiadent toothpaste with erium another fine product of lever brother's company Marie wilson has starred as erma with jones banks as jane the bar de val was played by john brown Anse conread was heard as professor potkin gloria gordon as mrs. O'reilly and donald woods as richard Music was under the direction of led glaskin Your investment in christmas seals will pay you dividends in the form of a healthier community Buy and use christmas seals generously this year. This is wendell niles speaking The risk brisk flavor. That's what you get in lipton tea Yes brisk flavor that picks you up brings you back alive in a hurry brisk flavor that comes from lipton's very special blending of the finest orange pico and pico teas Try it You'll find that this brisk flavor of liptons leaves you refreshed and ready to go again And you can enjoy it often because even wonderful tea like liptons costs less than any drink except water Always ask for lipton tea the brisk tea with that heartwarming lipton lift June in one hour earlier next week and listen to the lux radio theater followed by the pepsiadent show my friend erma