 Okay, the recording is started. Welcome to BC 315 life skills. Last class, we studied about the 10 principles of listening and this class we will continue. Last class we studied, we covered on, just give me a minute please, we covered on stop talking, prepare yourself to listen, put the speaker at ease, remove distraction, empathize and this class we will start on from be patient onwards. So when we say be patient, what we actually look into, what is required from the listener side is where we pause, even a long pause may not be necessarily where we will, we will wait till the end, but then we will allow the speaker to continue to talk, you know, where he clearly makes a conclusion, where he clearly makes a point so that at the conclusion, you know, we can share or we can ask questions and share our views for a better understanding. Yeah, with that, we can go move on to the second point. Second is avoid personal prejudice. So is there anyone in the class would like to explain this point? Avoid personal prejudice according to you. Why is it important in listening? Anyone in the class can unmute? For my perspective that we are influenced by our culture, where we grow up, our families and our schools we went to and when we were speaking to someone, first thing we judge them based on the language, how are they speaking, are they influenced enough for our think that goes and those things affect how we listen to someone or we talk to someone. Yeah, yeah. That's right. Thanks, Mangi. So yes, when it comes to avoid personal prejudice, we need honor people because each one are different. They're coming from different background, different place, so they carry a different accent while they speak. So what is more important is we need to focus on what's been said that and try to ignore the styles of delivery is something that is not right. That's okay. But what is more important is what they say, what we can learn, what we can carry with us from what the person has shared. So with that, we will move on to the big point that is listen to the tone. So in communication, we see that the volume and tone both add to what someone is saying. So in this, why do you think the tone is very important in the listening skill? Anyone from the class? It can judge your mood. It can judge your mood. It can judge your mood. Thanks, Kennedy. Thank you. Anyone else would like to add to what Kennedy shared? Anyone from the class here as well? You can just unmute and share. Okay, the tone is very important. When it comes to the volume and tone, we see that a good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage. Why? So that they can keep the audience attentive. So everybody uses a different pitch or tone and the volume of their voice, depending on the situation, depending on the audience, depending on the setup what they are in, to keep the audience attentive, to be presentable, to keep the presentation active, interesting. So actually listening to the person in the tone that he is presenting is very important for a better understanding as well. So we exactly know what is the speaker trying to say? Or as Kennedy said, also to know the mood, to know the emotion of the person about what he is trying to share or put across. Is there anyone in the class who would like to add to it? Okay, but that we will move on to the next point. Listen for ideas. Okay, Maggie, you would like to share on point eight or nine? You have raised your hand. Yes, I want to ask on the tone. Yes, please, go ahead. Because we are from different areas, different cultures, and we speak different dialects, and those dialects affect how we speak. So how do we judge people? Because sometimes someone who says something, he means well, because of the way it comes from, and the tone comes, that is angry or shouting. So how can we balance that or that? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Maggie, for sharing that point. Okay, with that, we will move on to the ninth one. Listen for ideas and not just for words. Very, very important. The idea is very important. We need to look into what the speaker is saying. The idea, the vision, or the mission that the person is trying to convey, or the idea or the strategy about some project is trying to convey. So we need to listen to what has been said, then watching on the words. So we need to get the whole picture, not just the isolated tidbits and pieces. Okay, so we need to understand the words. So is there anyone from the class who would like to share? Why is it for us to listen to the person's idea or a strategy than paying attention more on certain words or certain sentence or pieces that is not right or not well pronounced or not well shared? So how do we go about it? Anyone from the class could unmute and share your thoughts on this? I think it has to do with acceptance. If you are communicating from your perspective, you are trying to communicate your thoughts and your own originality. So sometimes accepting them for what they are helps them to feel comfortable and continue the conversation. Because you can be with someone that is loud, but you are the more on the reserve side, but you have to appreciate them for what they are. Because at that point in time, we learn about the tone, just about the person and how the person communicates. And then you are welcomed into the conversation, having a conversation with you, and that can bring in closer levels of closeness in the workspace, like you guys can walk closely. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We are very helpful here. Acceptance is very important. When we accept the preacher, then we will pay attention to the ideas and the strategies that this person is sharing. Very important. Is there anyone from the class who would like to add to what Louis shared? I think just to add to what Louis has said is that it gives you the originality, what you're supposed to get from your engagement with the person you are getting to. Yes, we need to be engaging, like avoiding all kinds of tension when we focus. Then we can pay attention to what the person is actually sharing, the strategy or the ideas. We also have to add to it, we have Abinas put on the chat saying that so that we can get the complete scenario, what they're trying to say. Yes, when we focus on the speaker and we try to pay attention, attention, so by that, yes, we can get the complete scenario of what the person is sharing. And we also have Asha Rani saying it is important to listen to ideas because it helps in improvement and increases the creativity and it also establishes in what needs to be done. So the ideas are also the backup plan to share and use it in the right time. Thank you Asha for sharing that. Yes, it is very important for us to listen to ideas so that we can become more creative. So in time we can apply those ideas, those strategies into our own life. Thank you. So with that we will move on to the last point that's there, wait and watch for non-verbal communication. Yes, do you think it is important in listening what is non-verbal communication got to do with listening? Or what is, you know, like our gestures or facial expressions or the eye moments, do you think all this is very important when it comes to effective listening? Anyone in the class can unmute and share your thoughts on this? Yes ma'am, I believe that is one of the very, very important thing, it changes the atmosphere, you know, it can, you know, sometimes non-verbal communication helps more than verbal. So in day-to-day life as well as in other areas of life, we have to wait and watch and develop this listening skill to be a better person in ourselves as well as to be better kingdom, you know, what citizens I think. One quality of being a kingdom citizen is that we are good listeners and sometimes, you know, in my case, I read the Bible aloud because I'm able to hear better when I'm reading aloud than I'm just reading quietly. So reading aloud is even given in Revelation chapter 1 where, you know, it is a blessing when you read it aloud because I believe sometimes it is but sometimes yes, non-verbal communication helps us, expressions and body language, everything counts equally. Thank you ma'am. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you so much Avni for sharing that. It's very true, you know, our expression actually counts, our body language, just the facial experience, you know, just as Avni was sharing, it is so very important, the body language is so very important for us to watch, pick up these additional moments that's been, you know, seen or expressed through our body or through our gestures or the facial expression or the very eye moments. I remember these two series which our kids get to watch at home is like Mr. Beam or the old one like Charlie Chaplain. You know, there's no much of verbal communication there but you see most of the expressions make people laugh, tend people to laugh. Okay, so the body language that is a non-verbal communication is very, very important and also as Avni was sharing on reading the word of God loud. So what happens is when we read the word loud, it involves a lot of expressions in it. It involves, you know, it changes our body posture, the way, you know, it modulates our tone. It's not like we're going to read to a huge crowd that we need to present it in such a way but even if you're reading it to your own family in a small setup, you tend to read it in a presentable manner where, you know, your tone changes, your expression changes. Sometimes yes, our facial expression changes, gestures, high moments, hand moments, everything has been involved in it and yes, we do make certain effect in, you know, by watching or yes, the non-verbal communication becomes more important when it comes to listening. We also see some of the comments here. Let me read if I missed you. Siddhanta says it gives exposure to the new things and understanding and we also have see Asha Rani say that there is a quote I made up. Okay, let your ideas expand while creativity explodes within you like a dynamite. Yes, yes. Yeah, sometimes we tend to be expressive with the ideas that is there within us to bring out the creativity. Yeah, we also see Kumbhu say our actions and attitudes speak much louder than words. Very true. Asha again says, I believe that it is very important. I agree in waiting and watching. So the observation helps us to understand more. Very true. Sometimes the best learners are while observing. We learn many things when we observe keenly. Yes, with that we conclude with these 10 principles of listening. So is there anyone who would like to share anything from any of the points would like to add before we could move on to the next? One thought that was coming to me ma'am, may I share? Yes, how beautifully God has made us that every, you know, everything speaks in us, not just our mouth, maybe our eyes are, you know, facial expressions of it's God's creation like everything speaks out and how much control he's given us if we want to control it and use it for, you know, identifying people, encouraging people, encouraging ourselves. So I think that's what I wanted to share. Thank you. True. Thank you. Thank you, Avni for sharing that point. Yes, just like what Avni shared. We just don't listen just with our ears, isn't it? Every moment speaks, every action speaks. So we tend to understand and learn with our eyes just by watching. Just by watching, actually, there's a majority of learning that we could learn. There are many leaders been raised just by watching them. We get to read the word and observe like how Jesus would have walked when he was here. Understand his nature's quality. True. Our learning is in different ways. Just by reading to the word and listening, our lives have been transformed. So, yes, listening is very important and also non-verbal communication is very, very equally important to the others when compared to. So with that, we will move on to the next method of listening where we have a model that has been shared in our notes as notes called as the Harrier Model of Listening. Harrier Model of Listening. Let me present that for you. So, even before we could begin, we need to understand what is happening in the recent days or in the recent generation or in this era. We see that the era of screen is here and it's here for good. But as each year passes, we get more and more devices between us and the people around us and we now have smart glasses, smart watch, smartphones or the smartphones that become tablets and so much more tech all up in this personal environment and space. While something is so close to us, all the time we need to keep in mind that relationship is also very important. But we see that instead of developing the relationship with the people around us, we see that this generation or this era is trying to develop a relationship with the devices that is coming up. Slowly, the gadgets are replacing the relationship for human relationship into having a relationship with the device. So in this age, we see that there's all short format content that is happening like we have TikToks, Vines and Instagram Reels. So what's happening if we see that a human mind has been so conditioned to a quick move from one video to another. So quickly, our mind is able to observe what someone has to say in those seven seconds and then move on to interpret more new information. So what's happening? This fast content and instantaneous gratification culture has ended up affecting our bodies and minds and also our attitude towards each other has been reduced. So nowadays, we see people rarely take time to sit down and have a good chat with each other or put aside the phone and have a nice family dinner with each other. We see this culture has been, our kids have been so much affected with that. Kids end up getting jumpy and hasty and just mindlessly keep checking their phones just to see if something new is there. Despite the age, I'm not talking about the college going ones. Even if they are young, in the lower grades, we see how much the gadgets are replaced the human people around them, a human interaction with them because we no longer can handle these long stretch of constant focus on a particular thing. So in this Harir model, we see that it is important for us to go back to our basics and remember the things that matter, which is humanity and the real world interactions. So we're going to emphasize more on that and see the importance of it. So this requires a much more different set of skills rather than the tech that we know how and the hashtags that can make us insta-famous. So the skills required for good human interaction and well for the, okay, the skills that is needed for the human interaction, yes, has been defined through this Harir model. So we see that this model was developed by Judy Brownwell, who was a professor of organizational communication. And this model describes and talks about the six stages of listening. So the word Harir, H-U-R-I-E-R is an acronym which stands for hearing, understanding, remembering, interpreting, evaluating and responding. So in this model, we stated the six factors, what each one stands for. So this comes into, you know, when listening and if done well, then they can ensure good communication and understanding between the two individuals are good. So many conflicts arise from lack of communication or miscommunication that you and I would know would be facing in different situations at our workplace, business or at ministry. So in this Harir model, it aims to eliminate the entire, entirely by arguing with people or urging people to listen more effectively than just nodding along while their mind is wandering away in a wonderland. So we start with hearing. So we see that hearing, it refers to the basic action of receiving the sound and processing the message, which is where we try to convey it by the sound. So in this stage of listening, we make sure that the other person is audible to us and at the same time, we are able to correctly understand what has been conveyed. So if we make a mistake while hearing itself, then and we tend to hear something other than what was actually said, then the whole Harir process is disrupted since the initial message itself was not clearly captured or clearly received to understand. So words can often be confused or misheard as many words sound similar in the English language, such as, you know, C and C, C like the ocean, S, C, A and C, the vision, C or I, the word I or the letter I to our eyes and so on. So if you are not sure about what was said, it is always better to ask and clarify right then and there, instead of addressing it later because even the person who shared it may not understand what exactly that you are trying to ask. So it was always good to just raise your hand to ask and get it clarified so that your understanding may be better, okay, so that we understand correctly. So with that, we will move on to the second point of understanding. So understanding is next stage of the process that comes after hearing. So on hearing what one has to say, we need to process and actually understand what it means or what they meant. So people can often be vague or talk in circles or even just make an open-ended statement so that we respond back to them properly in a way that we can contribute to the conversation so that we can convey them we have understood them correctly. So what the speaker is trying to say or the idea that has been conveyed that we have received it and understood it correctly. But on the other side, if there's a lack of application of this principle, then we see that almost all in the classroom or across all level of the education, it would be, you know, if there's any word or sentence been misconvaded or misunderstood, you see the whole concept being lost or whole concept being misunderstood. So it is very important to ask questions or rephrase it even for a speaker from his side, whatever is been shared, if he rephrases the people on the other hand while listening would understand better even if they have missed to understand in the first place. The second is from the listener's point, if they have misunderstood, they can always raise their hand not to interrupt, not in a manner of interrupting but then asking the right question so that that person can properly understand the topic of on what the person is trying to share. So that the understanding is clear, the concept or the idea or the vision has been clearly delivered to the people. And also when it is, when it is, when the understanding is clear, the people remember of what has been said or taught or shared with them because it has been clearly when the, when it has been clearly communicated, understanding becomes easier. When, when the person is under, when the person understands it, then it is very easy for him to remember on a long term as well. So we need to, so from the person who's conveying point, we need to make sure whatever we are trying to say, it's very easy, simple for the other person to understand and remember. So right now we will move on to the next point of remembering. Remembering is a third stage of this model and it refers to the ability to store the information what has been understood for future use. So sticking with the classroom example like you know the student would be obviously want to remember what they learnt in the class for the semester and exam or each time we read something, we study in this class which would help us for lifelong. So this stage however, you know refers makes us to this stage is very important for us where we can learn and remember and where we can apply it to our life's example. So it can be as small as hearing and listening to someone's talk about, it can be any occasion, it can be like a birthday anniversary and keeping a note so that we remember to wish that person in the following year. So remembering things is very important. So even when we attend certain business meeting or when we attend to certain leadership conference, we as leaders when we attend and when we listen to certain conference and the messages or sermons, we grasp certain examples of what the preachers thought or certain revelation when it has been revealed and taught from the Bible. Those verses, we will actually remember the point like how this scripture was explained to us and how this word ministered to us. So sometimes I mean God has designed our mind so effective, so creative that we get to remember the scripture and also the person in the occasion that he shared about what he shared even after many years and years passed by we still still remember and we also apply it to our life or time and again when we face certain scenarios, you're the spirit of the Lord reminds us, reminds us with the scripture, with the word or the word through whom you received it, different occasions. So God has given us this gift of yes understanding at the same time gift of remembering. The scripture says that the Holy Spirit does not just help you to understand but he also reminds you. So we tend to remember with our human mind. So the fact that someone tells us something about themselves and maybe it is personal or not but we tend to receive it. We tend to receive it and remember those things and even as the Lord moves in us he teaches us, he reminds us and this helps us to remember and act well. So as hearing is important, understanding is also important. As we understand we also remember. So with that we will move on to the next point, interpreting. So interpreting, so it is yes contrary to the popular belief just by listening to someone talk even with the most concentration so that you can remember everything is not all that so effective in listening. So on understanding what one is trying to say is not time for us to interpret the situation or determine what the big picture and messages but then it includes looking at the facial cues or the social setting, the present company around us as well as taking into consideration the personal person speaking himself or herself. So one can be saying one thing about future observation of their facial gestures and expressions can change the meaning all together. So this lets us in a reality of a situation and puts us in a place where we can emphasize with the speaker and actually look at things from their point of view. So interpreting is very important and also with that we will move on to evaluating. Evaluating is a part where the logic and reasoning comes into play. So you look at the situation and you evaluate it. Now look at the speaker, look at him how is appearing, his appearance or the body language and other subtle cues. So we get to know is a speaker credible and knowledgeable about what they are speaking. So people always talk when given a chance to and some people love spinning yarns of long stories just to draw people in and grab their attention. So by evaluating the situation you can pull out the bubbles and realize things that other people might have missed. So evaluating is very important based on the subject that has been shared. But that we will move on to the responding, the final one, the last one. So now comes the last stage. So responding. So this is a culmination of the five previous steps that is on hearing, understanding, remembering, interpreting and evaluating where we take all the information gathered and reply in a way that shows us that the person is listening while also adding some viewpoints to your own or into our conversation. So this information has to be received and processed by the speaker in the same manner to make a conversation fun and engaging. So while responding in a way that shows that you are interested in what they shared and it has been very important. You rephrase it or paraphrase it and we need to respond not just with our words but with our body language as well. So our body language can communicate a lot about how we feel toward a certain person or the topic or the questions that has been shared. So while listening the body must face speaker and we must show intent or intent to listen by looking at them, not fidgeting around or not letting the person finish what they are interrupting while the person is still talking or not allowing the person to finish what they wanted to say even before contributing your thoughts to the evaluation. So it is very important that we wait for the person to speak and finish and then we can share or we can contribute our thoughts and our questions. So any other thoughts to be added even before we could conclude? Anyone from the class would like to add anything to this Harir model? Yes, please. Yes. Thank you, Pastor. Pastor, can you please once again help me to understand the difference between interpreting and evaluating? For me it seems to be both that same. So can you please help me? Thank you. Sure. Sure. Interpreting is something what we understand. Interpreting is, you know, we are trying to share. The speaker is trying to interpret the scripture or you take up a scripture or word, you understand, you bring out the revelation. Evaluating is reasoning or anyone from the class would you like to add, share, for interpreting and evaluating? Can I attend ma? Yes, please. I think interpreting is what I understand. Evaluating is what I understand. Is it what you are trying to communicate? I didn't get you sorry. Please go ahead. Okay. I'm trying to say interpreting is what I understand by what the person is saying. Evaluating is what I understand. Is it what the person is saying? So we have that feedback. I think evaluating is when I have the feedback of correct interpretation. So it means that my interpretation is not exclusive or what the person is saying is inclusive, that I get what the person is saying, what the person is trying to say, what the person, the intent of the person, everything all together gives me the right that I have a volatimate, that my interpretation has the correct evaluation if I can put it that way. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you so much. Okay. So Shrikmar, yes, yes, somebody else. Can you be a little louder please? It's more of being qualitative than not being qualitative. You look at the quality of what is being communicated to you against what the other extra words are being conveyed to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Anyone else from the class? Pastor, is it also possible that when we say evaluation means how authentic he is after interpretation? Can we say that also? See, evaluation is nothing but a logic or you're trying to reason out things. How authentic the one we're saying. Yes. Right. Okay. Right. It can be that or it can be logical. It can be the reasoning out or authenticating as you say. Yes, it can be that. Yeah. Thank you, Pastor. Thank you. Anyone else who would like to share or ask any questions on this model? Okay. We are and Pastor, let's conclude this. So we conclude this model saying that, you know, it is very important that a human brain is, yes, a beautiful thing that can perform all these stages of listening before we can name each one of them, but we need to listen, be attentive because it is very important. So it is not something like it is an automated process, but then we need to pay attention, intentionally put an effort to listen so that we can have a healthy conversation. So listening is one of the most important tool for communication. No matter how many screens we get or how well the technology can be developed, but listening is very important. So we have to talk to human and listen to them so, you know, we can be effective in our communication. So listening to human voice is very important than we have any kind of technology or electronic voice. Okay, especially when it comes to kids, some of the psychologists say that when it comes to kids, we need to avoid the screen time because a brain gets activated to the electronic voice than recognizing the human voices. So these days we see the increased number of ADHD or ADHD or different, you know, children have been exposed to, I mean, diagnosed with different symptoms because the increase of screen time. So what happens is because the children are unable to hear to the human voice or listen to the human voice, their brain is getting trained to listen to the electronic voice. So what happens in this case is the child does not respond to the human interaction. The brain works or listens only to the electronics or the tech voice. So it is very important to, you know, I don't know how we can manage, but it is very important to bring a discipline among the kids, among the growing kids to have more time with the human interaction than to develop, you know, with any of the upcoming tech gadgets. And even for us as we grow, we need to sit and have much time with the human, you know, than keeping ourselves or developing a relationship with the devices that is coming up around us. Okay, with that, we will end the session. And yeah, thank you so much for joining in in today's session. I have a great weekend and we will see you up in the next class. Thank you. God bless.