 J-E-L-L-O The Jello program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Kenny Baker and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with man about town from the picture of the same name. You know in this world you just can't stand still. You either slip backward or march forward. Well in the past 40 years Jello has been constantly marching forward. And for that reason Jello is proud to join the great parade of progress which is being held all over this country by the associated grocery manufacturers of America. The idea is to show what amazing progress has been made by food manufacturers over a period of years. And we can honestly say that Jello stands out as a real leader in progress. The years have brought constant new improvements. Jello began as one flavor. Now it brings you six. And every flavor is extra rich now with a new delicious goodness. Jello costs less nowadays. It's quicker and easier to make and it brings you a new fruit rich fragrance. So Jello is delighted to be a part of the great parade of progress. And we send our greetings to all the grocers of America. And when you're watching the parade look for the Jello banner. You'll see those big red letters there that spell Jello. Town played by the orchestra. And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to announce that this occasion is a galey event on our Jello program. Today marks the seventh radio anniversary of our illustrious and beloved master of ceremony. Is it that long? Tempest Fugit. Exactly seven years ago today a young man walked into a small New York broadcasting studio and spoke into a microphone for the first time. I was as nervous as a goldfish in a fraternity house. Gee. There he stood ladies and gentlemen wearing a brown suit, cloth top shoes, a straw hat and a cane. I finished with a dance in those days folks. So now without further ado we bring you that same young man in that same brown suit, Jack Benny. Well Jello again this is old faith though still spouting after all these years. And thanks Don it was awfully nice of you to remember my anniversary but how did you ever happen to think of it? Well I'll tell you Jack last Wednesday I received an anonymous letter stating all the details. Oh. And Thursday I got a telegram saying what are you going to do about it? Uh huh. So when you called up Friday and asked me how I liked my job I just put two and two together. I see. Well believe me it was just a coincidence. Anyway that was a swell introduction Don but you're wrong about one thing. This is not the same suit I wore at my first broadcast. Oh it isn't. No this is a brand new one and if you don't believe it you can call up my tailors. The Campus Cut Tog Shop. Open all night. They'll tell you. Then I must apologize Jack. Really I thought you were wearing the same suit you wore seven years ago for sentimental reasons. What was that man? I said I thought you were wearing the same suit for sentimental reasons. No Don my father's carrying the torch now. We're the same size you know. But Don when you mentioned my first broadcast seven years ago it sure brought back memories. I'll never forget how nervous I was that night. I was shaking like a leaf. Well you must be nervous tonight too Jack. You're still shaking. No and that's what worries me. Now I shake but I'm not nervous. Gee I can't be that old. Anyway Don this has been a great day for me. I got telegrams and flowers and I got the grandest present from our sponsor. He sent me a lovely box of salt water taffy. Wasn't that nice? Oh it certainly was. Have you eaten any yet? No Don I misplaced my heavy duty teeth. I hope I find them because corn on the cob will be along any day now. I must write and thank them though. Oh hello Mary. Hello Jack congratulations on your anniversary. Well thanks but gosh Mary how'd you happen to know about I've been trying to keep it a secret. Oh stop. I saw that big ad of yours in the Hollywood Citizen News. Oh that. Well I was just advertising for a gardener. I need one. What does the ad say Mary? I got it right here. Get this Don. Wanted Japanese gardener preferably an ex acrobat from Vaudeville where Jack Benny spent many happy years before he went into radio and is now celebrating his seventh successful season on the air. Must have references. Well I wanted a gardener with experience. Look what you got at the bottom of the ad. Well. Address all replies. Jack Benny Paramount Studio where he is now starring in Man About Town. And bring your own lawnmower. Look Mary gardeners are very hard to get so doesn't hurt to build yourself up a little. Anyway I don't think you should ridicule me on my anniversary. Oh I didn't mean anything Jack. As a matter of fact I brought your present. Well that's different what is it. Here you are a pair of woolen socks and I knitted them all by myself. Oh well let's see him. Well that was sweet of you Mary. Say these socks are swell but look what's the idea of the zipper on the side. That's so you can put your money in without rolling them down. Mary I told you a thousand times I don't keep money in my sock. That lump is where the end of my underwear meets my ankle. Muddy green country down there. Well it's wonderful for grazing if you want to go haywire. Anyway thanks for my gift. Only sometimes I wish that you'd come in. Telegeram for Jack Benny. Telegeram. Take it Mary here's a tip for you son. Oh Judy initial so long. He must have been eating some of my taffy. What does the telegram say Mary. It's from your sister Florence. Oh from Florence. She says congratulations on reaching your seventh anniversary. And I hope that signed Florence. That's her all right ten words is her limit. Why is she always been like that. Oh hello Kenny. Hi Jackson are you right on the beam tonight. Are you a jiving kid. What are you whipping it up Elmer. I see. Kenny I wish you'd stop hanging around our swing happy maestro Phil Harris. He's a bad influence. Oh I don't know. Well I do. You used to be a beautiful baby and now you're a corny Joe. Oh yeah. Yeah. Smell this flower in my buttonhole and I'll squirt your eye out. Kenny stop that immediately. And take off that badge you're not a chicken inspector. Chicken inspector yet. Phil's got one that says step up sugar here's your honey. Wow I'll bet that really gets the girls. You know Mary I think it's a crime what Phil is doing to Kenny. He's making a regular smart aleck out of him. You said it. Kenny was standing in front of the drug store this afternoon. When I walked by he went. I did not I went. Oh you did. That's fine Kenny whistling at girls. Well you do it. Listen Kenny I haven't whistled at a girl since the pool room burned down in Warkegon. Now you behave yourself young man. Say Kenny aren't you going to congratulate Jack this is a big day for him you know. Oh Don let's forget it he wouldn't appreciate it anyway. Nobody does in this gang. Now wait a minute Jack I can't speak for the others but I've been loyal to you always and you know it. Yes you have Don that I must admit. Jack remember the day when you and I first met five years ago. I certainly do Don I certainly do. Why it seems like yesterday I'll never forget it. Remember when we did our first broadcast for Jello. You were standing out in the hall just before the program and I came up to you and said that can I speak to you a minute Mr. Benny I used to be quite formal then. Yeah and I said what is it slim you were quite thin too. Remember I sure do. I remember your very words Don you said gee I'm nervous Mr. Benny I don't think I can go on today and you said to me don't be nervous son just step up to the microphone and say Jello has six delicious flavors strawberry raspberry cherry orange lemon and lime. Yeah you know Jack I've never forgotten that message who has quiet and remember Don when I told you to say always insist on genuine Jello look for the big red letters on the box pardon me Jack but I originated that expression Oh no Don no I remember distinctly that I thought of it well I hate to argue with you but I'm positive it was my idea now Don let's be fair about this I created that expression and if you weren't such a ham you'd admit it. Talking about you're the ham Oh I am a stop that music that's gratitude but Jack enough Don that's the last time I'll wander down memory lane with you Oh who gives a darn so there look at him gets mad at the least little thing Oh it's your own fault Jack you're always taking credit for everything what do you mean why you even told me you were the one that suggested the San Francisco World's Fair I did not I merely said that I had three cousins who were fan dancers and it would be nice if they had a place to work this time that's all I said I'll go ahead and sing Kenny before this reaches serious proportions okay Junior hold it a minute come in Mr. Benny yes remember the first time I knocked at your door three years ago yes you thought I was nuts didn't you I certainly did well I'm cured now I can't understand that he came in on foot sing Kenny treasures I have only one without it I love sung by Kenny Baker and Kenny you were exceptionally good tonight that song was very well rendered yeah I thought it was right in the old groove a room isn't that awful groove a room Kenny what does that mean what does it mean you don't get around much do your brother now Kenny for the last time I want you to cut out that lingo and stay away from Phil Harris I'm going to have to do something about that say Jack while Kenny was singing another wire came for you it's from Fred Allen oh Fred Allen a what does it say it says dear Jack give me that wire hmm that's dear Jack as this is your seventh anniversary you got to make it Jack as this is your seventh anniversary I feel that you deserve a tribute so I raise my hand and salute you Fred Allen well there's a novelty Alan saluting me I bet he's doing a novel way too never mind I prefer to take it the sweet way well here comes our musical madcap Phil Harris your tardy as usual I see I'm sorry I'm late Jack but I live way out in Encino and it takes me quite a while to get here oh well this happens to be your job Phil so why do you live in Encino I like it it's hilly there I thought so well take off that coon skin cap you're in the city now I don't let this happen again okay hi ya Kenny have you been swinging out gate well I tell you pal we've been cutting a rug or two but these alligators here don't know nothing about jamming oh we don't never mind Kenny we'll go out later I got a couple of jitter dolls lined up we'll take them out for a twirl okay but I got to be home by nine o'clock Phil aren't you ashamed of what you're doing to Kenny no why after all he's just a kid you got a couple of jitter dolls lined up I'll jam with you I'm HEP I may not be an alligator pal but I can jive a bit what do you say alright Jack what time do you have to be home I can stay out as late as I want a smarty my father's in Miami and now folks as my cast has finally assembled and they are all more or less actors for our play this evening we are going to present play nothing didn't you tell them kids well no Phil I thought you wanted to surprise Jack surprise me with what well Jack this being your anniversary I'm throwing a little party for you in the game a party yes and it's all on me well gee this is a surprise awfully sweet of you Phil but where are we going no drive in stands now no sir no sir I'm taking you to Sleperman's Hawaiian nightclub I got a table reserved in the cab waiting downstairs say that's well but what about the program oh my boys can play a few numbers let's go okay gee I can hardly wait to see Sleperman's place come on come on gang let's go oh Jack's a jolly good fellow oh Jack's a jolly good fellow oh Jack's a jolly good fellow which nobody can deny come on gang let's go gee Phil I can't get over you're throwing this party for me forget it pal anybody that's been in radio as long as you have deserves it I do at that hey Mary what are you doing on the floor of the cab I thought you were sitting on Don's lab I was but I slid off slid off it's fun too can he stop that that's what I say hey are we here already yep this is the place come on fellas hey driver driver how much the cab fare that'll be a dollar ninety cents okay I got it wait a minute Phil let me pay for the cab let me pay it I got the change right here no fellas let me pay it okay here you are driver you got hooked didn't you you're already none of your business well well here we are oh yes look who's standing in the doorway Sleperman welcome to Hullaland high class food for low class people hey Slep what's the idea what's the idea of the high hat tuxedo and bare feet that reads as quiet oh well right here this way everybody come on in everybody it sure is real tropical atmosphere palm trees and coconuts hanging on them say Slep where do we check our hats better keep them on the coconuts are loose oh I see ouch there goes one now say we better be careful hey Slep where's your wife she's in the kitchen and Jack when I tell her you're here she'll go crazy oh Lord this blossom but who do you think is here Jack Benny all right so hurray boy is she thrilled well sit down everybody would you like a little refreshments before you think sure I'll have some Hawaiian punch I'd like some too me too I want to dry martini Kenny you'll have a glass of milk okay put an olive in it never mind well drinkers make yourself at home I'll be back in the jiffy excuse me see you later Slep wow this sure is a hot spot Kenny wait till you get your milk you know Phil Slep's doing a great business here isn't he oh it's packed all the time come on come on let's have a little action around here where's the whole of dances bring on the girls hey that guy seems to be a little bit under the weather I'll say I hope he doesn't come over here he's waving at you Jack just ignore him he'll go away you know Mary I think Jack old boy old pal how's the kid ooh my back gee I don't even know the guy am I glad I bumped into you say who's got a match here buddy and I listen you stay out of this tubby I'm talking to my old pal Jack gee I don't even know the guy here you are mister here's a match oh try to get tough huh no yes for a match and I gave it to you a match and I don't worry Jack I'll get you a match if I have to turn this place inside out who's got a match for my old pal Jack now who's got a match gee I never saw the guy before in my life well gentlemen here's your appetizers in just a minute we're gonna have a floor show say Slep there's a fella been annoying us here you better throw him out there is he that big guy over there I'm sorry my wife is the bouncer well something ought to be done about that guy pardon me Jack I'm gonna start the show all right boys step on it your attention please before starting our entertainment I would like to announce that we have a big celebrity here tonight none other than Jack Benny from the radio I never hate him never hate him there's your pal Jack quiet come on everybody let's give Jack Benny a real Hawaiian reception yes sir well thank you folks sit on your big hand sit out what is this anyway ouch down those coconuts go ahead Slep ladies and gentlemen first on tonight's program we have a little surprise for you in honor of Jack Benny 7th anniversary Miss Mary Livingston and yours truly are going to sing a special Hawaiian song for their cases assisted by the Boyle Heights Beach Boys now Mary did you frame this well you hear it come on come on Mary go ahead don't be bashful all right boys aloha taluki one two I want to go back to my little grass sack in Kaleagawa Kahai I want to be with all the connies and whinies that I knew long ago and a girl Mary I can hear old guitars are playing on the beat said Oson Park I can hear those Hawaiian sayings and I just sacky nicky wacky wicky wacky while I kahui won't be long till my chef will be sailing back to Kau a grand old place that's always fair to see on Mammy's knee I'm just a little Hawaiian and to my fishing boy I want to go back to my little grass sack in Kaleagawa Kahai wear the homo homo the hooded little hooded little hooded little you said it wear the homo homo no kidding Slapperman that was swell That was swell. That was beautiful, Mary. Hey, folks, how would you like to hear Jack Benny play a violin solo? Oh, no, Phil, nothing good. Come on, Jack. Come on, Jack. Oh, no, I don't want to. Ah, come on, Jack, old pal. All right, fellas, if you insist, have you got a violin here, Slap? No, Jackie, I haven't got one. Oh, well, it's lucky I brought my own. I thought I might be called out, no? All right, boys, give me an introduction on Love and Blue. That's what we want, you morass. Oh, I wish they'd be quiet. All right, hit it, boys. Isn't that awful? Well, you're in bloom now, so keep still. Now, for this, Slaperman, if you don't throw this fellow out, I will. Go ahead, the customer's always right. Here, Mary, hold my call. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute now, Jack. Calm down. This is all a rib. A rib? Yes, I hired that guy to heckle you. You sure fell for it, didn't you? Oh, I get it. Well, you sure fooled me, buddy. Hey, come over and join us. Have a drink. Okay, Mr. Benny, I'll have a cherry phosphate. Say, you certainly had me going there for a minute. Come on, let's all sit down and have a good time. Oh, Kenny, get down out of that tree. What a anniversary. Hey, Slap, how about the few? Come on, come on right up. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have a confession to make. There was a time when I was a meat and potato man. No salads for me, no, sir. Well, I've changed. Because I found out the jello salads really are different. They have assessed the tang that's cool and refreshing. And here's one for you to try that I know you'll all like. Husbands included. Jello spring salad. You can make it with lime or lemon jello, whichever you prefer. Both flavors are especially swell for salads. Dissolve one package of jello in one pint of hot water, then add one tablespoon of vinegar and a chill until slightly thickened. Add one cup of chopped nut meats and one cup of diced celery and mold until firm. Serve on crisp lettuce with real mayonnaise and boy, boy, you've got something. Cool, refreshing jello, golden lemon or sea green lime, molded with crunchy celery and nut meats. So try it soon. Ask your grocer tomorrow for lime or lemon jello or better yet, get both. This is the last number of the 31st program in the New Jello series and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Oh Jack, here's another telegram just came from you, from Lloyds of London. Lloyds of London, what does it say? It says congratulations on reaching your seventh year in radio, although you cost us plenty. Well, I've been fooling them for years. Good night, folks. Here's our Jello program for courtesy of Mervin Aray Productions. This is the National Broadcasting Company.