Alan's weakness for all things car-related (and East Anglian) is an essential part of his make-up. He began life as the very Middle-England sports presenter, first of spoof current-affairs programme On the Hour (Radio 4) and later on its TV incarnation, The Day Today. The latter offered many cringeworthy moments, but his quickfire, spluttering commentary on several goals remains the pinnacle. This included: "TWAT! That was liquid football!", "SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine", and, "The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding, in this case, is football. Boof! Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt." John Motson and friends, hang your heads in shame.