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Targeted for Assassination, email scams (read description!)

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Uploaded on Feb 19, 2008

IF YOU GET ONE OF THESE EMAILS, DON'T RESPOND!
I know, it would SEEM elementary, but as a public service for the clueless...

BTW: The subject header for this email was: BE MORE CAREFUL, but the one in the inbox read: BE MORE CSREFULL.

Should you get one of these emails, you can turn these scumbags in to the FBI at:
http://www.ic3.gov

This video was posted as a respose to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0m7fY...
Where you can learn more about this scam.

But remember, if you EVER have any doubts about anything online or in email, just run a search before panicking...

Below, I have provided the actual transcript, with my own snarky parenthetical comments thrown in for laughs. I have not provided the email address of the sender, so anyone getting the bright idea to mail this spambot won't get phished. Also, it's being investigated right now by the service provider and the FBI, so I actually shouldn't. My own search results follow at the bottom of this page.

Hello,
I am very sorry for you Xxxxxx, is a pity that this is how your life is going
to end as soon as you don't comply.
(Huh?! So, like, between the time you hit "send" to the end of my days?)
As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you,
(Yeah, EXCEPT to KILL me...)
my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you
(SEE?!)
and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.
(So, you're writing me, why?)
Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this,
(Awwww, ain't that fuckin' sweet!)
the person also came to us and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other necessary information's we needed about you.
(Well, that whittles it down to JUST MALES, thanks!)
So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.
(Well, now, that's nice to know!)
I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.
(I bet you could have summed that up in FIVE WORDS in your mother tongue, huh?)
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE?
(Well, let me think: LIFE has pathos, sadness and sometimes joy and hilarity, BUT football in the groin has a football in the groin...)
As someone has paid us to kill you.
(Yes, you said that already)
Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life,
(Ummm... we're like kidnappers or something? Call us right back!)
$15,000 is all you need to spend
(Is THAT all I'm worth? Sheeee!)
You will first of all pay $8,000 then I will send a tape to you which i recoeded every discusion i hade with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the tape, you will pay the remaining $7,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.
(No, you give me the tape, and the jig is up, BRAIN-TRUST!)
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD!
(But they apparently don't know I'm not good for 15 LARGE! If I had that kind of money, I'd buy a CAR!)
I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY. (You apparently did not read your own email, or you would have noticed something FUNNY already!!!)
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:PM
(Wait. ONCE it's 7? Would 6:55 be alright How about 7:00 AM? Or perhaps 19 hundred hours?)
UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU
(Make out time? Yuck! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little!)
AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY,
(Hold your breath, and I'll call the Guinness' Book and Ripley's Believe it or Not!)


About.com: (Note: This one is about 10% more intelligent, in that, at first, they did not use MALE PRONOUNS in reference to the contractor! "D'uh! Gee George, I will kill this bunny wabbit, and I will choke him and kill him and I will call him George...")

You can read the about.com article at:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library...

(Sigh... and here I thought I had finally ARRIVED...)

—G.D'R

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