 Oh, what's this? Let's see, make sure I got this, see here, make sure this is working. I could send this. Now this here, live for the blessed tribe, but gotta make sure I got it set up right. Y'all know I struggle sometimes on my tech. Tech side of things. Let's see here. You know what, it might do say two seven. Well, I might be in two seven, okay, that four seven if I can. YouTube been acting up. So y'all got to forgive me. Let me try to get my YouTube situated here like the internet, YouTube back up right now. Might be too many people alive. See some, I don't know how I thought it was February. Let's see some here, forgive me. Y'all forgive me, y'all know how sometimes the technology is gotta get it set up. Okay, I think I got it working. Think I got it working. Let's see here. Brianna, no, it's not too late. Just when you send in your new address, just put in there, just put in there that you sent one with your old address. And then make sure you also, when you get your new address, make sure you have it forward just in case it didn't win off. Make sure you have your address forwarded. Now on the Q and A, y'all put hashtag Q. So I could see your question. And then when I see it, I can add it to the screen here. And this is like last time it allowed me, I was able to kind of go in order whereas when I do it on the regular inside of YouTube, it don't just sit there, it go with the chat so I can never see it. Now y'all forgive me one second. I forgot to invite the Lord in the room. Y'all forgive me. I'd be having to pray in private. I don't like people. Sometimes people be like, oh, can you pray with us? No, that ain't my style. How do men feel about being blocked? I have an ex that I block constantly and he the text from a friend's phone sends cashouts. Does he do this because he know I will respond? Nobody liked being blocked, but if you responded to him, then it let him know, you know, you're doing what we call selling wolf tickets. And if a man sent a cash out and then you respond, then in your mind, you go in his mind, you go into prostitute category. It mean you could be bought and he loses all respect for you. If a man, if you block a man, a block is like permanent. So you really shouldn't block somebody until you done with them for good. When you block somebody, that's permanent. When you take back a block, it just says that you play in games, that you play mind games, that you don't stand on your standards, that you don't have standards. And so when a man make you block him, he expects to have to go to counseling for four sessions, 12 sessions. He expects to have to be on bended knee. And so the fact that you say you block him constantly that's childish. And he sees you as childish, but he willing to play a childish game with you. If you don't have it, then you can't be a part of the pre-order. That's all that mean. Can't be a part of a pre-order. It ain't for everybody. Ain't for everybody. Nah, nah, this thing took on off, nah. It ain't still took on off on me, nah. When you meet a man while you're with your child, do you recommend still keeping man from that child? Yes. Yes. Hey, Tony, how do you get out of going to a hotel room with a man if he already paid for the room? See, this what happened when I do too many Q and A's. If I do too many, if I take a long time away from the Q and A's, then I'll be getting questions that be real questions. But when I try to show up for y'all too much, y'all go to ask me. So Tony, after I take a step with my left foot, do you want me to take a step with the right foot or do I just like keep the right foot in the L and then just try to hop and take another one with the left foot? Cause y'all come on, nah. Y'all come on, nah. Now the hotel room error for yours ain't that bad, but the other one by keeping a man from your child cause come on, nah, ratio. Y'all got to come on, nah. Y'all think about these questions. Don't rush your question, okay? Don't rush your question. Don't just put a question just to be in the comments. All right, y'all think about the question and then ask questions you really perplexed on. And it's okay, cause y'all, well, be wearing me out, nah. Nah, Erika, yours is a, that's on him. You know, you can't feel bad about having standards. It's like, ain't nobody tell him to pay for a hotel room. And even if you did tell him pay for a hotel room, you got the right to change your mind. Nah, he probably gonna make you pay for it later in another way. So, you know, when you set these standards, you got to make sure that your standards is across the board. Don't go in and have standards for a little bit and then you fall off. Because sometimes when you got standard, that's what a man will wait for. Yeah, wait on that. Now y'all, y'all don't have to write y'all questions multiple times cause with the system I'm on, I'm able, your questions stay still. So on the other, when I'm inside of my YouTube app, you got to write them over and over. So, a few of y'all didn't post the same question two or three times. Y'all don't have to do this on tonight cause of the system I'm on. Guy I've been with for a year went to jail, has a long time. Is it worth staying around? If you got to ask that, then the answer is no. If you have to ask that, the answer is no. When you love somebody for real, for real, you ain't asking nobody's opinion when you really love somebody. You're gonna make it a choice that's for you. And so the fact that you got to ask that, you need to go on about your business, go on about your business. We'll bring coworkers, we'll bring coworkers, make a man more hesitant in approaching, bringing coworkers is what you meant. He has shown he likes me by commenting on stories, saying I look good in person, et cetera. Nothing extreme though. I'm 25 and my coworker is 33. So maybe he said, well, being coworkers, maybe that's what you meant. Yeah, if y'all have some Me Too incidents or if he's worked a job and dated a young lady and then it didn't work out and things was messed up, that can make somebody a little more hesitant. Just not showing. I mean, not knowing what you're gonna do. Friends, make sure y'all put the hashtag Q in front of your question so I don't accidentally skip over you. How do I avoid to frustrate my boyfriend when it comes to I've been off of it for years? You can't avoid that. You can't avoid that. And don't try to compensate for it either. How should I go about my boyfriend of seven years on and off, getting his first apartment and now putting all of his focus and attention on work slash apartment and it's disconnected from the relationship? Sis, that's your sign right there. That's your sign. A boyfriend of seven years on and off is not a boyfriend. That's not a relationship. That's like a pen pal. That's like a friend with benefits and it's certain circumstances that I've seen. Typically when a man coming to a lot of money, men will string along a woman for a long time because he's thinking about a prenup. He's thinking about so on his wild hopes. He's really wondering if the woman is worth half. If he doesn't do a prenup and he gets with her and then things don't work out. But a man who is not a millionaire should never take more than three years to marry you. If he 25 or older, unless there's some other extenuating circumstances that of course it could be a whole laundry list of them that I am not listing. But it could be some other things like maybe he's deployed or maybe just he's in medical school or the equivalent of some type of training that's still in all of his time and energy and focus. You know, some things like that, but seven years on and off with a everyday man who moving into apartment and now he put in his apartment and work in front of you. That is, since you're wasting your time, you're wasting air in the last bit of your time. You hear me? All your time getting wasted. Go on about your business. Go on about your business. Let me grab this, somebody jumped in the VIP line. Courtney, God bless you. Can you become the girlfriend after being the side chick? Unfortunately, I was a side chick and now he's, unfortunately I was a side chick and now he's single. And we've been talking about marriage, but I feel like I would never be able to trust him. We've both grown a lot. Well, I'll tell you this, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. And as other people have told you, you lose them how you get them. So that is not always true, but if you was a side chick and see the thing is, it's different types of side chicks. It's side chicks who don't know they're the side chick and then it's side chicks who know they're the side chick. So if you was a side chick and you knew you was a side chick, a man really don't respect you. He doesn't respect you as a woman. He doesn't respect you as a classy woman. He'll sleep with you, he'll talk to you, he might even marry you, but he's not gonna respect you. He marrying you because he know you lack standards. He knows that you lack some self-love. So he will marry you because he can play you like a fool. Because if he had you as a side chick, that let him know that you willing to play yourself. And so it's never, you never want another woman man. You never want another woman man. That's not a good position to be in ever, ever in life, ever. There's really no exception to the rule. Some women say, oh, my man left me for his mistress, for his side chick. If she knew she was a mistress or a side chick, then he left her because she easier than you and he could get over on her more than you. If she didn't know she was a mistress or a side chick, then he didn't leave you for her in the same way. Cause now he could actually love her. That could actually be his soulmate and you was the mistake if she didn't know it because a man who really respected, if a man respect the woman, he not gonna ask her to play second fiddle. He not gonna ask her to be a co-star, to be a side chick. He ain't gonna do that. He gonna play the woman he went to the left, get out of that situation, then go get that other woman. And even though that still is wrong and a little messy, that's just what's gonna happen on average. Kimberly God bless you. Not recently, two months divorced and I asked him to not tell me when him and his girlfriend a one year LOL go out the country for trips. He refuses to listen and says, it's because I have the only humans, kids he care about. Am I wrong? Yeah, you're wrong. You in your feelings. You in your feelings and you're jealous. And so you got to confront that. If you got his children, then he post to tell you where he at and what he doing in case he come up missing. You need to know that. So you got to get out your feelings. And he really ain't telling you for you, just you. Now he might be telling you to rub it in your face a little bit, but if you got his children, then that's totally different. What is the email for pre-order? I sent a while ago and didn't receive a response, wanting to make sure I'm not using the wrong one. If it didn't bounce back, then it went through. Yeah, I'm not responding to any of them because if I open it, then it'll be unread. And then I miss it when I'm signing the books to send them out. So if it ain't bounce back and say, mail not delivered, then it went through. I know how certain personalities is. You know, but I could set up a auto response but y'all know me, we just do things a little different. If I was a woman, you'll have a auto response. It'll have a little graphic signature in there to have a video, it'll have all that. I'm hood. And so mine gonna be a little, my process a little ratchet. So you got to understand that but I'm taking the power back too. Y'all notice that's why I did the pre-orders through cash out but you know why cash out don't take none of your funds. So I ain't charging you for shipping. So if I do the pre-order through square or through PayPal, they take a little percentage off the top. But see cash out, don't do that. They give you a whole little situation. You're still gonna report it on your taxes but you still get your whole kid in caboodle. So that way ain't got to charge for the shipping. And see now that I'm doing this, now you can see a whole bunch of authors doing it. Probably already might be something I ain't seen nobody do it but now a whole bunch by start doing it cause we taking control of our masters. We getting our power back. Masters meaning intellectual property now, not masters like a slave master. Okay, that's a question I already answered. Do men wait to approach a woman they're interested in? It's not across the board. A man, different men different. So on average, a man will watch a woman a little bit. He wanna see on average a man who's serious and he measured and he may watch and see a woman like three different times. If it's somewhere that he knows he can see her multiple times. Now if he in another city and he visiting and he passing you and you look like the woman that's been running around in his mind and his visions then he gonna go ahead and shoot his shot. But if you at the gym, he's gonna assume you're gonna be at that gym. If you all at the same job or at the same church then he's gonna assume you're gonna be in that place again. So he may watch you to see you a few times to see if you got a ring on to see if the next time you with a man just to see how you move. See if you be digging cheese while you standing still see if you be digging boogers. He gonna watch you a little bit just to see if you got any kind of little quirks about you before he take and just make a move. Cause every now and then I'll be looking and I people watch I'll be looking I'll look round and I'll see a woman and it might be a teenager, it might and sometimes it might be an adult and I see a woman and they go to scratching. I said, oh, scratch in the area. I'm like, oh, you must think I guess that new growth growing back you know how if you shade somewhere and the how go to growing back and clothes rubbing on it. I just be saying whatever just go to get a quick scratch. I just wanna let y'all know people see you now. And then I've seen some women now this I've only seen Caucasian do this. Now I ain't being racist cause this could be across the board. Now this could be across the board. I just have not seen a black or Hispanic or Asian do this. But sometimes I see a woman and she stick a whole group of fingers in the middle of her booty and just go to, just go to, I'd be like, my goodness, the run you got going on. And so sometimes that's why a man will look, you know, he'll watch for a little bit just to see if you got any little quirks about you just to see what you got going on. So you got to understand that and men see everything now because you got to remember we hunters men are hunters. A man don't miss nothing. He see everything. You think you're getting a quick dig in? He said, I don't see any women dead. They know, get them a scratch down there, dig a little tea. I don't see any some stuff. And that's how, that's how men are. We see that stuff. We be watching for stuff like that. A lot of times women don't realize that even for the black women and then that, that helped me. And the man think you scratch in your head but you go to scratching and it go to doing like this. He be like, what? So I'm just wondering y'all just about the other little stuff because this is what you, I heard a lady tell me today. I was talking to a lady in like a consulting session. And she told me, she married, been married for a long time. She told me, she told her sons, women come a dime a dozen. I was shocked to hear a woman say that. So that's why I try to tell y'all too, it's like that's why some men be watching to see because it is more women than men. And so that's why you got to be comfortable in your own skin. You got to know who you are. Because you're going to be passed up by a lot of men who are not for you. And you got to be okay with that. A lot of women try to play a role and you end up attracting somebody else's husband instead of your own husband. So you got to be you. If you like to dig cheese and you ain't got nothing wrong with digging cheese, that's okay. It might be a man, he like that. He might be like, okay, I like a woman that's comfortable with herself stick that hand, get her, pull that phone out of there. Tonya, do you think her for man says his friends think he's a catch? It might be a red flag. Before I dated ex, he told me his workmates said they were surprised he was single as he was such a great catch. Yeah. Yeah, that just don't sit right. That just don't sit right there. A great catch really ain't got to tell you they're a great catch. We do it sometimes now. Like we, we big ourselves up. Like if we good at something, painter, drawer, you know, we a big ourselves up sometimes. I get it, but a lot of time that come from insecurity. And so that is a little bit of red flag. And that's, and that's why that's your ex. That's why that's your ex. Let me see, let me see. Tonya, how do I find men that are outside of the black race looking to date black women, trying to stay away from the online dating like you always say? Now listen, if a man outside of black race, won't you? He gonna approach you because he see it. All you got to do is go to the grocery store. Go to grocery store. But see what y'all have to realize is that a lot of times it's these movements out here that's telling black women, you know, go to a man of another race, go to, and you can't live your life like that. That's how you're gonna end up playing yourself. If you meant to be with somebody of another race, you gonna meet him the same way you will meet somebody of your own race. If you go out specifically looking for somebody of another race, just because you've gone through a lot of things with people of your race, you're gonna attract the same thing just in different skin. You're gonna attract the same thing just in a different color. And what you have to realize is that interracial dating, it's a gamble because humans, we are accustomed to what we're familiar with. So a lot of times the reason why interracial situation can work is if a person feels like an outcast or mistreated from their own race. And so they relish being with another race. And so that's why it works sometimes. It's not working from an organic, pure place. It's working from out of force. It's working from a place of hurt, from a place of pain. And so this other race becomes like a refuge, but it's not like a pure thing. And so you have to understand that about interracial dating is that it can be a gamble. So you want it to be authentic. You want it to be organic. You want it to be, you're not looking for a race because it's a preference. You wanna meet somebody who may be of another race and y'all hit it off and you mesh and you vibe and you are connected on that level, not you just being with them first and foremost because they're of another race, a white person or Asian man or what have you. And to be honest with you, you know, a lot of white men that get with black women, they got their own interesting quirk. And that's why a lot of times black women feel so loved and so praised and so adored by white men is because for one, a lot of gay white men get with black women because they know that majority of the black men you done been with have done you wrong and that you just looking for a safe haven that he knows that he can be bisexual or he could be gay on the download and that you won't look too deep because you've been hurt so much. And so a lot of men hide their sexuality by going to another race. Black men do this, white men do this, Asian. And the reason why men do that is because they know that the other race isn't as familiar with the signs where it's like if you have a certain race and you meet, if you're a woman of a certain race and you meet a man of your same race, if you grew up around your race, then you kind of know the mannerisms, the behaviors, just the energy and the feel of a heterosexual man of your race. But when you go and get around another race, if you haven't been immersed in that race, you might not pick up on the subtle signs. So it's a lot of men who like men who are married to a woman and us men, we could spot the man easily because we are men. When you a man, you know just on a man energy where he's at. But see a woman, if you haven't been around a lot of men like that in a very close, close-knit way, you might not recognize it. And the same thing with women. A man could see a woman and this woman might go both ways and the man can't tell it. But another woman could see that twinkle in her eye, could feel that little vibe. And so another woman could say, and it happened the other day, we was looking at TV and there was this young lady on the TV and I was like, man, I really like her hair. I'm like, that's a dope hairstyle. My wife say, yeah, but she got that energy. And I'm sure enough, I looked up the lady because she had a business and we looked her up. Sure enough, the lady is with a lady, she date women. I could not tell that because I'm not a woman. But my wife, from being around women her whole life and playing sports, playing basketball, where this happens a lot at, she knows the energy, the look on average. Not all the time does it show. You got to really talk to a person, get to know them. But sometimes there's certain mannerisms that we pick up based on our walking, our life walk. So that's what you got to realize and understand with these here, when you go to looking for another race is that sometimes they know they can hide in plain sight. And this any race, they know they can hide in plain sight because they know you're not that familiar with their culture and with them, with their race. And that's too real for a lot of people to really grasp, a lot of people don't want to grasp that. Y'all got to forgive my inner neck. Okay, what am I on? Spectrum, y'all hold on one second. And I can y'all, oh man, that's a lot of comment. I cut now. Can y'all hear me? Make sure y'all can hear me. Now see, sometimes when you go to talk about real stuff, counselable stuff, YouTube go to messing up your video and trying to act like it's your inner neck. Ain't nothing wrong with the inner neck. I be on here all the time. But when you go to talking about stuff, and YouTube gonna back down the background, think they slid, y'all forgive me, get back to where I am. I broke up with my ex two years ago. My sis has business events that he sometimes attends. I want to support my sis, but I don't want to see him. Why is he coming to her events? Is he hoping to see me? Yeah, definitely. That's exactly why he coming. Okay, other he trying to make a move on your sister, unless he married and her husband is be there, but a man who you didn't broke up with, will without a doubt try to make a move on your sister if she single and she available. And especially if she got a little hurt, a little pain, a little trauma, she got a little spirit on her. And it's a lot of sisters who have slept with their sister man, or their sister ex-man, or their sister baby daddy. So that's not foreign, that happens. It's men who done slept with their ex-girlfriend mama, or their ex-wife mama. That happens like Rachel and Leo in the Bible. It's a lot of women who bought the Hunger Games. So you can't, and it's one thing you can't pass humans, humans capable of anything. So he could be there for her, if she single and available, or he could be there to see you. And so you just got to not, if she's not available, then he doesn't see you. Unless he just really need the business event, unless he just really need it. But it's okay if this is my sibling, and she say, hey, I wanna come to your event, but my ex-boyfriend be coming. If I know him, I'm gonna say, hey, bro, it's really not good for you to come to the event because my sister wanna come. Now I'm a man, though, you got a sister, so she might not feel as comfortable approaching him like that, but that's what really need to be done. Like just let him know, like, hey, you really not welcome, because you know, you my sister ex, that's what really need to be done. But, and if your sister don't wanna do that, she could just not be confrontational. Or, you know, you all need to have a little conversation, but she should be okay with, you know, sending that little message. If not, not you two wanna play some more. They don't back down and deleted some of the views that put them on the Delver number. Now come on now, now y'all need, y'all know, ask y'all to do nothing, you might need to shut it, at least they were from around the Delver number now. I got to shut the whole lie down, get on the Delver number. If separate with husband, cause he cheated and then decided to work on it, got back together, six months later, he went back to cheating with the same girl, left since 121, now he gone about your business, sis, gone about your business. What do you think about a man with six kids by six women, young and six, five months, that you need to go on about your business, that you need to go on about your business, that you need not be thinking about him, that he need not be a second thought, gone about, let him think about them six kids. That's like, he got enough to be worried about them, for you to be worried about him, gone about your business, sis. All right, Tony, so I met this man when I was 29, how long I been on here? Man, 30, 60 minutes. I've been on here longer than that now. All right, Tony, so I met this man when I was 29, he told me he was 34. Y'all give me one second real quick, so I'm just hitting on that tickle wire. All right, Tony, so I met this man when I was 29, he told me he was 34, found out later he was 40, out of anger I called him, I remember him telling me he thought I was much younger, was I wrong? No, you weren't wrong. No, you weren't wrong. And again, he is what you said he is, because you 29, he thought you, so when he said that number, yeah, I'm gonna tell you. If a man lied about his age, I think that's just something, I guess cause I'm not 40 yet, maybe 40 will make somebody lied about their age. But if a man lied about his age, that right there is just mind boggling, I cannot understand that. I could kind of see a man lying about his income because a lot of times we equate our self worth to our net worth. I could kind of see a man lying about that, but a man lying about his age, that right there is just the weirdest thing to me. I run so far and so fast from a man to a lot about his age. That's something there. Why would a guy, hey, welcome to the new members, God bless you. These right here, just these chats, anybody could watch it, but only people in the chat is people in the blessed business tribe or the blessed tribe. So thank you, God bless you. Why would a guy go out of his way to elevate to your level of dressing and do the most to get you to look at him, but don't tell you he liked you. And he also looks for me to speak first, but I don't. Well, the issue is that you're assuming he doing that for that reason. That's the issue. Because he might just got a raise or just been looking at Instagram and now he just wanna dress a little better. And he might want you to speak first because he don't really care about you. You know, like he really don't care to speak to you. You see what I mean? So you can't, what we always have to do is we gotta take a humble approach to things and we can't think that it's about us or for us. And if we find out later that that's what it is, somebody tell us it can come through the grapevine or whatever, then that's a little different. Hey Tony, can you do up to date video about men that use the tactics to make women do things they don't want to? Really ain't no up to date video on that system. You know, all these videos that's on here. That's base, that's principle base. You know, that's principle base. Why do some dads put the before the oldest? Because on average, it's because a man is growing. It's because when he had his oldest, he was disconnected because he was very immature and he just didn't know how to love and he didn't know what fatherhood was. He didn't know what love was. But then as he grows, he starts to heal more, he starts to learn more and his life starts to change. And so he may treat his younger children better because he has more of a, he has a deeper connection to them. And then if he was kind of trashed when he had his older kids, when he talked to them and he deals with them, it reminds him of that failure. And so it's no different than some women who treat their younger child that they have from a man that they was in love with better than they treat their older child that may come from a man that they absolutely can't stand him and they hate his guts. It's the same thing. It's just, it's an association. It's what the person associates the child with and the season and the events and the circumstances in their life that they are associating that child to. And so that's how it is typically is there are other reasons. Dated a 56 year old man for two years, he broke up with me, tried coming back a few times, three months later, like nothing happened out of the blue, he texts demanding personal information. What is that? Crazy, crazy. And 56 years old, you know, you ain't say how old you are but the fact that you said his age, it kind of implies that you much younger but and then he broke up with you. It's like the audacity. It's like, man, you might be, you buy over the hump and you got an urge to break up with somebody. So go on about your business. You can't let somebody in and out like that. Let me see. Hey Tony, my neighbor is in a DVR. Okay. Now, you know that used to be something else. Now, you know DVR, I was like, I had your neighbor inside of the VCR, inside the cable box. So you know DVR was the video rewind, demand video or something like that. So I get what you're saying now. He has left her with a, I made her food and he's banned from here. He left her the day she's gone back. Fam peers want me to move. Do you agree? Sis, you know, talk to your family, talk to your peers on that. I can't speak on those kind of situations because of the liability. And this right here, this recorded, I'll be done told you some and then some be done happened and your family be coming trying to sue me. So sister, we don't go that deep. Now, that's something you talk to a counselor or you got to make your own choice on that. Now, we won't go that deep. Once you get to that point, you know, that's something you got to deal with. I stay in my lane. I stay in my lane, sister. Okay, he would go by the same shirt I have, walk the way I walk, want his kid to go to the same school. My, he's respectful, but watches my every move, my every move at school. Yeah, he might just be inspired by it, so he might just have that on you, might have that oil on you, just inspired by it. That really ain't typically a masculine behavior. That's not really a masculine behavior. So, sister, he might back from the other side of the plate at this stage in his life. He might be the switch team. And I ain't condemning him now. I ain't condemning him. Because I'm trying to not want the LGBTQIA to come after me. You know they don't add an IA? I don't know what the I and the A stand for, but I've seen it the other day on the internet. LGBTQIA, I say, man. After a while, we're not gonna be able to remember the acronym because it don't spell nothing. So you literally just got to remember it off of brain power. Now, if they add an MNNOP on there, we're gonna be like, my goodness. Can we just be humans and just be happy and just love each other? Instead of having to feel like we got to give ourselves all the different titles to just further separate us. It's like, you're a human who chose to live your life a certain way. You ain't got to let something define you. Nobody title, I'm God's child. You know what I mean? Don't get too many labels on me now, I'm God's child. And so, sister, that's why I say that I got to be careful in this world where they be after you now. What are your thoughts about marriage out of obligation? For example, a woman particularly begs for the ring and gives the man an ultimatum. The worst thing you could do is you can't make a grown man do nothing. You can't make a grown man do nothing. So if a grown man marry you, marry a woman under those circumstances, they ain't she make them. They say, he got something up his sleeve for her. Got something up his sleeve for her. So you never want that. You never want that. You always want that to be a mutual decision. God bless you and I welcome to the new members. That's my little site I made right there. Caramel kids have put on their relationship credit. I created a little algorithm just like Farah Isaac did for our credit score. I created a little system, little formula for your relationship credit score. So when you go on there, and if you're not in a relationship, then you answer the questions based on your past relationship. And if you had a relationship, then you answer the questions based on what you would want the answer to be for your ideal relationship. And then at the end, you get a relationship credit score. In exchange, I get your email in case I want to email you about something, about a seminar or a course or what have you. Let me see, does it mean anything when a man is always telling stories about his past relationships and women he's dated? Yes, it means that he did not go to therapy or coaching. And so therefore he's telling you all this because you his therapist. He's using you as a therapist and a lot of humans do that. As humans, we utilize our friends and our family members or the person that we're in an intimate relationship with as a therapist instead of going to a professional. We'll do that. And so often to find me probably a little 70, 80 year old therapist out here. That's why I could go and then talk about y'all up in a selling night. So yeah, so what I have to tell you, I'll let me tell you what they're gonna ask me now. Somebody who don't know me, don't care nothing about my brand or business and don't even got social media. I'm finna Google and get on Yelp and see who out here. Yelp SimmerChat, let me see. Now, what is the cutoff time when you both want to take it slow, getting to know each other before you decide to move forward with a commitment relationship, committed relationship, one year, two year. Now, y'all take it too long. Taking it slow to get know each other. That's like three months, six months. Like life is too short, too precious to be taking a year or two years and not have a committed relationship. It don't take that long. And so you gotta make sure what that is a sign of is that y'all have not healed. So when you heal, you gotta, and heal don't mean 100%. You might be in the real, in the grand scheme of things. You might be 70%, 80%. None of us are 100% healed from everything we've gone through. That means you complete, that means you perfect. None of us will ever be 100% healed. We'll always feel a little something, have to overcome some things on a daily basis, have to overcome some thoughts, some triggers that happen. We have to address that, confront it, make the right decision on how we respond to it, to respond to it versus to react to it. And so we never 100%. Now you could call it 100% you know, semantically, I don't know if you can use that in that context, but we're gonna do that tonight, semantically. I like where that sound. You could do it if you want to, but technically you're not 100%. So when both people say, hey, let's take it slow, getting to know each other, for a woman that mean you not healed, for a man that could be a play. For a man, for most of the time, a man is a play because men really don't, 9 out of 10 men don't heal anyways. Don't try to heal. It's special men out there that'll heal, but most men don't heal and don't really try to. So for a man, that's typically a play. So y'all got to understand that. God bless your nine caramel kids. The last time Cher was on it, this is the night we got caramel kids on it, on the pro mode nine. God bless the moderators helping us out. God bless you. What does it mean when a man asks how much I paid for something or how much a monthly expense is, like rent, car, et cetera? It means he knows it and he pocket checking. It just knows it. That's just how men are. And that's pretty much how all men are. I was with a guy today that I know and I blessed my wife with a new car for our anniversary, 15 year anniversary. And she made posts of her and the boys in the story. And so some people who know us personally, they say, okay, this is a red interior. It's a top down. They know we don't have a convertible. But so the people may ask, hey, did you get a new car? Did you get a new car? And when I saw my guy today, he was like, hey, so is that the little boy? Like the baby car, like the size of it. And I just went ahead and told him cause I knew he was getting that. I said, well, I'll pay Sunset for it. You know, just go ahead and let him know. But that's just how men are. We like to calculate. We like to put things together with the numbers. Cause I have to catch myself when I'm talking to a client, male or female client. I'd be about to ask, so how much do you get? So what's the salary on your job? Oh, okay. I had to catch myself. We just know there's men. And a lot of times the men, we don't have a lot of tax. We just kind of, we asked, I got one home boy, that man will ask you anything. And it just, he don't mean nothing by it. He just the innocent. So yeah, so like on a, so like today, how much money you got in your bank account today? I just always wonder like, what is light? Well, for people who entrepreneur. So like, how much money in your bank account today? Like he will ask you anything and he don't mean nothing by it. Like you be in person with him and he'll ask you a question that's so personal. You really don't know how to take it. So honestly, that's how men are. And I know a lot of women on here, a man have asked you how many men have you slept with? And you like, hold on, bro. Like that's a real personal question. Like my goodness, is you Jesus? Like, am I standing at the pearly gates? Trying to get in? Like my goodness, what else you wanna know? But that's just, so as a woman, you got to be okay telling the man, you worry about the wrong thing. And you wanna find a phrase that's not too confrontational, you know, something that, but just, oh, you worry about the wrong thing. And a man, he'll catch yourself and most likely laugh, you know, laugh it off. Cause he, cause men, we know we could ask questions that's a little personal. Geraldine, God bless Geraldine. Say she had to get in the VIP line now. She say she got VIP line money. She say y'all asking all these questions, she need to skip the line. Can't get child support cause dad is on SSI. Ask him to help financially. He gives his son $20 once a month when he sees him. Should I ask him to give it to me or leave it alone? Geraldine, just leave it alone, Geraldine. Just leave it alone, $20 sister, come on now. Come on, just leave it alone. And the man on SSI, he already down bad. It's like, listen, just, it's like my football coach used to say in college, that's how to mop flops and how to cookie crumbles. It's like sometime life just gonna handle something. And we just got to play the hand that we dealt. The, your child father got $20 a month for his son. He on SSI, just chalk it up. Say, Lord, Lord bless this man. Let him come into a windfall of money from somewhere. Cause he might be giving your son the $20 like the woman who gave the two pence in the bottle. That was all she had. Now if he got 200 to give and he giving 20, then he nasty, but that $20, it really ain't gonna do you no good. Not today, not with this inflation. You can't even get your dribble gas. You can't even get from the gas station up the street to your house all $20 right now. I don't know what Joe and Kamala up there doing. It's like, come on now Kamala. I don't learn how to pronounce your name. You didn't went in there. You did all that stepping, going in there. And all the Howard and all the SKU is all the, and not eat gas prices. And Joe, you the told us, we vote for the other man, we ain't black. So we don't forget you telling us what to find our blackness. Then put your butt in there and now you got to eat gas prices. Lord, that's why people say who you vote for our Jesus. Cause it don't matter who in there, we gonna need Jesus. Don't matter who we put in there, we gonna need Jesus. He's locked up in LCI, Federal Correctional Institute maybe. That's what that stand for. We've been corresponding in every way for eight years. And my only fear of being with him comes from what people say. Should his record and incarceration be the measure of his character? So you have to realize he might be why the cage birds sing. But what you have to realize is that if he did something to get in there, that's poor character. If he did something to get put in the Federal Correctional Institute institution and it's been eight years that he'd have been in there, he got some real time. That brother got some real time. Now, if you'd have been with him for eight years, it's kind of one of them things like, lead now, can you lead? Is the soul tied too strong? You have to address that. You gotta address that. But maybe he in there and he liked Hurricane Carter. Maybe he liked Malcolm Little, who became Malcolm X. Maybe that time doing something to him. Now for me personally, I'm gonna tell you what I've seen with two of my family members that I love dearly, two women. I ain't gonna say who they are, come on and put their business out in the street. One of them was with a man who did nearly 20 years. And another one with a man who did nearly 20 years. Both of them were sending the men money. They were dating the men. One of them who younger got the man named tattooed on them. Both of the men got out that prison and went by their business. That after all the thousands of dollars, all of the thousands of miles these women had drove to visit these men, the men got out that prison and went to find the best thing they could find. Cause they done been locked down during that hard time. Don't let them get out and you gotta sell your life. Don't let them get out and you got a little bit of stomach on you. Don't let them get out and your edges ain't flourishing. It's gonna be hard to keep them. I'm gonna tell you that nine. So that right there, nine out of 10 times, that's a losing battle when you dating up the cage bird who's singing. And I'm gonna be honest with you cause I could be locked up. I could be doing federal time myself. So my heart go out to the guys, my homeboy doing two or three life sentences. My uncle doing a life sentence. So my blood uncle, not just somebody I call an OG, just my mama brother and doing a life sentence. And so my heart go out to the guys but at the same time I have to be real. I got to be honest. If you did what it took to get in there, it say something about where your mind was and it say something about your character. And I'm gonna tell you, when a man get locked up, he become nicest, sweetest, most angelic, amazing person in the world because the cage bird want to sing. But when they get back into this real world, rarely do I see men come out. That's why the recidivism rate is 85%. Rarely do it rehabilitate. It is so you, so when you doing what you doing, sister, eight years, that's a gamble and guess what happens when we gamble. When you gamble, you got to be willing to lose your shirt. You got to be willing to lose when you gamble. Alondra God bless you now. Grateful for the real message, for speaking the raw truth. Alondra God bless you now. God bless you, you have to do that. God bless you now. You have to do that. Now I'm looking for a question. Now y'all put a hashtag Q in there. Is it too much for a woman to swipe up on a man's story if he does it to her stories? Now I don't know what swipe up mean. I don't know what swipe up do on a story. Let me see if my wife posted the story today. My wife ain't posting no story. And she the only person that I actually follow. I follow my funds. I can't go to nobody else's story because what I've learned, y'all be looking to see who look at y'all's story. So I click on somebody's story. Even if it's a man, he gonna be like, what Tony Gaskin looking at my story for? So I can't even tell. So I don't know what to swipe up do. I know somebody telling me what to do. But I'm guessing that's how you leave a reaction or something is what I'm assuming. But it's a little forward. It ain't now in today's society, no, it's not forward. With the type of men in today's society, no, it's not forward. That's what they want you to do. That's what they want. But I'm old school and my wife old school, I was talking to her the other day because I was asking her about like, would she ever, if she was single during Instagram time, would she ever like a man, like multiple pictures of a man that she wanted to date? Like, would she like multiple of my pictures? She said, absolutely not. She was like, absolutely not. And I believe, because that's just how she is. She just, she not gonna chase. She not even married now. My wife don't sweat me. Like she just has never been that type of person. And that made me more intrigued by her, being a man who is a go-getter, ambitious. It made me more intrigued by a woman who don't sweat me, who don't act like my stuff don't stink, who don't put me on a pedestal. I'm really not into that type of stuff, that type of treatment. But today's men, I found a lot of them wanna be met halfway. A lot of them want to be approached. A lot of them wanna be, a lot of men that they want a woman to shoot, they shot at them. And that to me is weak. That to me is not manhood. That to me is a man operating from insecurity and from fear and from weakness. I don't like the term alpha male and beta male, but that would be a beta male to me, a man who want a woman to shoot her shot, a want a woman to come at him, want a woman, I just don't really, I can't really process fully the mindset, just wanna put a man in that space. I don't fully understand that, but women is out there doing that. And it's people that's hitting it off, people getting married off of that. To each their own, I just, I don't fully understand it. Why would a man constantly ask you to have his baby, ask do you love me, but would never ask for a relationship? It's just a weak immature man. And when I say weak, I mean insecure, lost, meaning he's weakened, not like meaning, I'm not saying punk, I'm saying just, he insecure, he has not been affirmed. He does not know who he is. And so he's wanting you to be the human who affirms him. Had his mother affirmed him, those questions and things like that, without a relationship would not be the case. Let me see. Now I'm looking for the question, I didn't, there's a lot of other comments and no. I guess on this thing, what I'm on, the moderators can't block the extra comments. You know, when you're in YouTube, I'd be seeing the moderators block all the excess stuff. I could kind of get to the question a little faster but on this one here, it showed me everything. If a man brings you peace and sees you every day but doesn't want marriage, what to do in relationship three years over 45, no, no, little together. So that's the, that right there is different. That is real different, that system. You're gonna have to go to God on that one, you're gonna have to go to God on that one, sister, I don't want to put my, I don't want to put my negative on that. That could not add up to me, that is not matting. That's a little different now, sister. The harmony pill gave y'all a little advice that I have to agree with. And I think a lot of y'all, and it's a problem and it's a lot of self hate going on with women of races, praising other races and men of races, praising other races as if another race is superior to your own race. That is self hate, that's hurt, that's pain. We should never look at another race as any better than your race. No matter what race you is, and you Asian, you white, you or whatever, if you even identify with race, I remember coaching a client overseas and I said, what's your race or nationality? What's your race? Cause that's one of my demographical questions that I asked my clients when I'm filling out their profile, filling out their file. And they said, what is race? The client said, what is race? I was like, y'all know what race is? I think maybe she was in France or somewhere. And I was like, what is race? I was like, what the hell are you being to tell me there's some American unsprung on us that ain't worldwide? And so somebody else here giving y'all some advice. And I'm telling people making whole businesses out of making whole YouTubes out of lead your race, go to another race. If that ain't the most self hating, one of the most self hating things that I have heard, y'all really got to evaluate that. You got to really think about that. It different if it's just a man, a man who happened to be of another race treating you better than your exes. But to just say another race, a whole another race is just better at loving your race. You're gonna end up getting hurt. This person here, I'm dissuading you from dating somebody based on their race. So if that means dissuading you from dating out, then take it how you take it. What I'm saying is you should never choose somebody just because they are a different race. And so understand that. And there is nothing wrong with people choosing their own race that don't make a person racist because a relationship has to be built on foundation. So if in my race and culture, we have a belief system and another race and culture has the opposite belief system, our foundation is what we built it on is different. So we can't look down on people who say they don't want to date outside their race. And then we can't look down on people who say, who do date outside their race. The key is what's the motive? The key is why are you doing it? That's what you got to focus on. That's what you got to look at. What is your motive? If you just doing it, just to be doing it, that's the wrong reason. I'm in a relationship with this amazing man. We're moving to the UK come September. What y'all at now? Should I be concerned about him coming from a different culture? I don't want to have any issues with his family. Yes, that's reason for concern. On average, when you come from a different culture, it's gonna be people in the family that's not cool with it. It's very rare that everybody in the family is cool with their loved one being with somebody who has different traditions, different belief system or different cultural norms. And so it's a learning curve, it's an adjustment. And so that is something that you've got to be ready for. And depending on the family member, some family members will hurt your feelings. Some family members will ask you some disrespectful questions. They will make some, you know, they will insinuate some things. And so you got to be ready for that. And that's why people oftentimes say, hey, this me and you, not everybody else that don't worry about my family this between us. A lot of people take that approach because not everybody gonna agree with that. Let me see, okay, so share in the building. I see share right there. Y'all please get over that. I might mentor that life a higher year coach. Y'all got a few commercial breaks. Now, you know, I don't ask the moderators to do that, but I sure appreciate them looking at. Now I'm trying to get to the question. This just, it's a lot of stuff in the chat. Somebody kind of asked this earlier. If you're gonna date somebody you work with, then it need to be somebody you got a real strong feeling about somebody that you know, that you know, like you feel really, really not just slightly, not just a little bit, not just curious. It got to be like this look like the one, just the vibe, just how they come in, you know, just how you got to feel strongly first right there. And then go and get the norm for a day or two, a date or two, don't do nothing too deep. The way if you just go on a date and then it don't work out, it's not that big of a deal. Oh, I don't went across the aisle or not. So we got about what, 18 more minutes. Unless we bought done now, let me see. When I was 26, I was on a date with a man who told me he was 40. Then he said he was 45, then 50. Yeah, that's that. Blight don't cry now, man, all kind of ages. More precious than Ruby, God bless you now. Blessing Tony, my male coworker told me he go to the club just to dance. Although he seems serious about work, I thought of what you said about this topic before. Should I be careful in the workplace with this character? Now, listen, it's like this right here. A man who say he go to the club just to dance, he need to be able to dance like Chris Brown or he lying, he going to pick him up something, going to pick him up something. The club that's hunting grounds. Unless a man got money or a new outfit or something he want to show off, but the club that's hunting grounds for men. So if you over 25, then that's a red flag. Me, myself personally, as a man, 38 years old, I really wouldn't too much trust a man who go to the club after 25. Now he under 25, I kind of get it. Old 25, he still going to the club. God bless you now. I mean celebratory every nine then, but if you're in the club every week, over the age of 25, we need to sit down and talk about purpose. Talk about gifts and skills or trades or something. But yeah, that's a red flag though. And our man who club, it's a red flag. Even if he going to dance, then dance move turn women on in the club. So he leaving with phone numbers. So unless y'all started dating and you going to club with them and then y'all in there like say the last dance and y'all like done the dance flow showing up like say the last dance. They were in a ratio for those y'all who so ready to date outside the race. Y'all be in there like say the last dance. The day that God knew from high school he always wanted to date. But I went to college in Michigan and him an art institute. Now, did that Michigan or do that say something else? That stand for something else in MI and him or an art institute in Chicago. We now live in the same city. He loves me and I love him as a man but not physically attracted thoughts. Okay, you know him from high school. That was the key. Okay, Michigan, Chicago. Sister, I'm gonna tell you this here. I'm gonna tell you. I don't recommend dating somebody you ain't attracted to. Now here's the thing. When I tell y'all judge a man by his character, judge a woman by their character, it does not mean that just because they got amazing character you just throw all attraction standards out the window. Like you still need to be attracted to somebody to a certain degree. Even if you attract it to their mindset, that's still attraction. That might not be physical attraction, but now you're not physically attracted. The thing about it is typically over time a man get worse with time. Cause you know, you start to get older, you might start showering less. You might start, your skin start to change. Your body might start to get a little stronger, older. Your teeth start to get cavities or decay. Your hairline start to leave. So a man is not like on average, us as men we not like wine. We more like soda that you left the top off of. That's typically how men age on average. So if you're not physically attracted to a man right now, he might look like chewed up bubblegum in 10 years, 15, 20 years. So if you can't be attracted enough on the love on his personality, you could end up finding yourself cheating and ruining everything. So you got to really think about that now. More precedent rule, God bless you. He just turned 30. SM makes things big, bro. I'm thinking this was the question about the man in the club, uh, brief. Now what? Now hold on, you see another question for $20 on this question, fifth of all, that's American money now. Now what you up? Now what you up there boy? Yup, that was Michigan. Also this is just the seed. You've taught me so much and it's changed my life and helped me get a six-figure income working at Google. Thanks so much. I hope none of you co-workers ain't on here. Thank you, you see he reached you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You didn't tell your co-workers stop messing with my lives out there at Google. And bring me in for one of them Google workspace talks. They don't like to bring country people from, from the South. They want to just bring people from San Francisco enough. It's like bring us in now. But breathe God bless you now. You're doing good. I'm like, my goodness. That's a boy, bless a thousand four. So start that blessing for our blessing. Got people on here making six figures. Y'all thought, y'all thought the country boy wasn't doing nothing. If people on here work at, uh-huh. Yeah. A lot of y'all, oh, he country and dawn. No, nobody want to listen to him. Listen, if people on here make six figures, what you got to say now? Bless me. I'm moving on up now. Yes, Lord. Now everybody count now, but you know, sometimes when people get them a education, people get them a good job. It's a lot of people could look down on other people. Oh, you ain't got my degree. Oh, you don't talk proper as me. And they'll look down on you now. So to see people who get them some education, work in corporate and they could be humble and they could understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom, or just like smarts and wisdom, got you got to respect the old kind of folks. Thoughts on dating a broke man. Sister, it ain't gonna be easy now. It ain't gonna be easy because most men equate their self worth to the net worth. So I'm gonna tell you, when our money funding, we act funny on average. I can't really think of many men who gonna be chipper and loving and just pleasant to be around if his money funny. That's just a rare occurrence. It might be. Now if a man come from absolutely nothing and he slept outside sometimes, he slept in a car sometimes, like just really humble living, he may be the type that is emotionally intelligent enough to deal with financial struggles, but most men really gonna personality gonna be off when the money is funny. And some men could have money and go through tight seasons because stuff changed. Like a man could be a millionaire but have to retire from his job or he not producing right then or the industry changes and he gotta adjust and then that man could become totally different. Somebody else got in the VIP line, y'all let me catch this real quick. Is it unrealistic for me to strongly desire marriage at 23, friends and family advise me to have fun and date around says it's unrealistic to find a husband at this age without kids involved thoughts. Nothing is unrealistic that you want for you. So you gotta know what you want for you and you gotta be ready for it. You gotta be prepared for it. It is a new day in time. My wife, we got married when she was 19 or 19 or 20. And so if she was 19 and so it happens, but you can't just solely depend on that. So when you are ready for love, you should be so busy and you're working your purpose that a man gotta distract you. Like he gotta come and get your attention. You shouldn't be walking around, need some Gatorade, need somebody to pick your tongue up off your foot. You need to be locked in and focused. You need to be building, whether it's your career you working in corporate or whether you entrepreneur or you doing both, but you need to be locked in and focus and then the man for you he gonna come and tap you on the shoulder. If a man brings you peace and sees you every day we got, we did that one. Jarlene posted that question 90 times. I think that's why Jarlene got in the VIP line up there. Ah, boy, okay. She didn't reiterate. She didn't reiterate, reiterate, husband and sister on. How much time we got? About seven minutes. I'm gonna get on off in a little bit. Time to 9, 23. I'm gonna tell you my wife, just mom life and wife life, she be watching reels and she be watching the couples who do pranks on each other. She believe it's real because she not really into the social media life. And I don't like to bust a bubble and tell her like babe the first one was real. But after it went viral and the man figured out that they get paid for these reels. He started telling, hey, baby, when you fit to do the next prank now, come on, do a prank. I'm gonna act like I don't know. Come on now. Like baby, these reels are produced but I don't wanna bust a bubble. So she be watching reels and just all about dogs, about cats, about this. So she really don't be worried about what I'm doing in here because she just be relaxing, just living her little life. So, you know, and we work from home so I get to talk to her throughout the day. So I have to explain that cause sometimes people don't understand when somebody be married, but yet still working. Special relationship coping. Husband insist on parading side chick around young kids but refuses to file for her unthoughts. That's interesting now. They're having a shot at this and this a thing. If I was a woman, if I was you, I wouldn't wait for him to file for divorce. If I was you, I'd be going to the lawyer and getting the paperwork, doing the paperwork, getting that injunction, getting that thing to where if he don't wanna sign off for it, it still moved forward out the X amount of time. Don't let nobody hold you hostage. Don't let nobody have you as a prisoner. Like, if you need to be free, you got to get free. You can't wait on somebody cause he'll leave you in that space because this the best space for a grown boy to have a woman in because you are stuck and he living, he doing him, he living his life. So if he got, you know, what they say a bird in the hand and a bird in the nest or something, it's kind of in this situation. If he got a fool in this hand and a fool in this hand and both of y'all willing to be foolish, he gonna let y'all be foolish. He gonna be like, okay, you willing to be a side chick and you willing to be hell hostage in a dead marriage. So I'm gonna just keep y'all right where y'all at. I mean, just keep playing off of both of y'all. That's all he doing. So you have to stand up for yourself and make a move. You got to make that move. You can't wait, you can't wait on somebody to make a move for you now. God bless you. Now peace and blessings to you and your family. I go to the guy for telling me that we'll be in a relationship shortly after meeting him. He thought I was desperate, but continues to text me thoughts. Now let's say you go to him for telling you y'all are being in a relationship shortly after meeting him. Now if I'm reading this right, I'm not understanding if you're just saying he told you y'all gonna be in a relationship and then y'all never got in a relationship after several months. Or if he said that, like speaking it into existence, like a corny line, like trying to be whatever, confident or whatever. And then you said, and then you just left him because he had the audacity to say that. Cause if that's the case, if it's the latter, then you jumped the gun on that one. You jumped the gun. And if you jumped the gun like that, let me tell you, it's dangerous taking people back now. It's dangerous taking people back now. To break up with a guy, Erica, God bless you now. These men be running you up a wall, don't they? Gone by to be an Erica. Do you feel men are looking for wives? I don't understand how men can be in a relationship shacking up half children, but hesitant to get married. So they want me to question her, man, about that. Definitely should question a man if you're living with the man, legs open. You ask whatever question you wanna ask. Now, when y'all ain't living together, it's been less than a year, then you don't get too deep into them questions. But now, once you cross that year mark, okay, it's 21 questions. Now, the time, hey, we gotta get down to business. We gotta get some understanding. But no, a lot of men are not looking for a wife. A lot of Christian men is not looking for a wife either because they're just like, God gonna send my wife, I'm gonna wait on God. And today is just where the world is. It's not as many men looking for a wife as it used to be. So it's just really a woman has to be where she is supposed to be. And then the man who is where he is supposed to be, she attracts him to her. But it's not really being talked. It's not really being reinforced. And the benefits of marriage are not being shared by a lot of people. A lot of people are not sharing the benefits of marriage. And the benefits of marriage are healthy marriage. Not just me and Mary, but a healthy marriage is you have a confidant. You have someone you can lean on. You have, it produces peace. It produces comfort. It produces joy, happiness, whichever you wanna go with. And that companionship, them hugs, them kisses, them deep conversations, that extends your life. And you got somebody to do life with. You got a partner, you got a teammate. And if you're in a team game with no teammates, that's gonna be hard at times. And so there are benefits to marriage, but the benefits of marriage are not really being stated by a lot of people. And what's happening is the couples who are online get so caught up in monetizing love, like trying to do everything for a paycheck. And I could guarantee you. And that's one of the reasons my wife and I don't work together is because a relationship is hard enough when you focused on that relationship and you working on that relationship, but when you take and you focused on monetizing love and monetizing your relationship, the less time and work and energy you get to put into actually working on it. And so a lot of people, a lot of couples who what they're selling and what they teaching will be their very struggle that end up causing a divorce. And that's what's happening today. So instead of people just working their job and just living regular life and talking about the benefits of marriage, it's like because of people like myself who got into giving relationship advice, people like myself made it who did it out of purpose, made it popular. So it brought in a lot of people who did it for profit because when I got started, it was no money in this because it wasn't all this social media. It was no Instagram. I didn't have YouTube. I had been doing this four years before I got on YouTube, almost five years before I got on YouTube. I had been doing this two years before I got on Twitter. And about five to seven years before I got on Instagram, five years before I got on Facebook, like a Facebook page. So relationship back in the day, when I started in 2007, there wasn't a monetization strategy. You had to be doing it because you were called to it because you were passionate and purposeful about it. And like my royalty checks from our relationship book from the first five years, I probably made $1,000. It wasn't no money in it. But when social media came around and Steve Harvey wrote his book two years after I wrote my book, that made it look more popular. And it was said to me, somebody said to me that Steve told him he ain't writing no more book because there ain't no money in it. And I don't know if that's true or not, but you see he stopped writing them. And he wrote them two or three in and he didn't do a tour for any of them because what he'd do as a comedian, as a radio host, and then as a TV host, way, that's money. That's real money there. But see this right here, if you were working for somebody else getting 50K, but you see you can do reels as a couple and you could sell card games, you could do coaching, you could do tours, you could do a podcast as a couple and you could make six figures or seven figures. It's so many couples that's coming now to monetize love instead of just, instead of focusing on sharing the benefits or showing the benefits of pure love. Like with my wife, she's not selling anything on love and relationships. Like a lot of wives and they ain't knocking them, but it's really because she's trying to protect the purity of our relationship. Because it's hard enough without inviting everybody into your relationship. It's hard enough. When you invite everybody, now you're inviting spiritual attack. And so today, that's why a lot of men aren't looking for wives because they're not really seeing wives who just got a glow. They seeing other thing. Look at, what does it mean if you're in a relationship and a guy's focusing on yourself but then he says he doesn't want to break up. Sister, he confusing me. Man got me confused. I think he just saying be independent. Like don't be so clingy, don't be so needy, be independent. Start your business, work on your body, like do you without kissing his behind, especially is what it sound like if he want to be with you and love you. Now I breathe, Gina came back in here now. What does it say? Now sister, my goodness now. You good out in Palo Alto. Now I tell you recruiter to give my calls. I can give a job out in Palo Alto. I could be up in the diversity inclusion department. Or something like that. The morale coach for the headquarters out there because y'all like the blessed and highly favored. Last seed today, this is for Cherie. And you know, she take that serious too. When she said something, I tell her about that. She say, okay, cash out me. She be said, all right, baby, we won now. We won. Come on now. She be like, man. So I have to, and out of integrity I got to get to, I'ma go and send it to a rat now. So I ain't lying. Cause I'll sit up here and tell you a long accident. I'ma go and send it to a rat now. She doesn't send it to me. And I'ma tell you my wife, she don't take nothing for granted. Some of y'all send her a blessing for her birthday. She was like a kid in the canage though. She don't take nothing for granted. I'ma put blessing from Bre G on YT. Now I'm sending it on here now. Y'all think I'm playing. I'm sending it on here. And I'm doing this right here on the camera, but this honestly how I live my life on real life. And I'ma tell you that's a part of success is integrity. Doing what you say you gonna do. Doing what you supposed to be doing in the light, doing it in the dark. And when you could do it in the dark, what you supposed to do in the light, it change your life. This is what she been watching you for years. So this is truly nothing compared to what you've done for me and my sisters. Don't get weary and well doing. We need you. Also I'm not calling my bank to dispute the charges. Y'all will keep going. God bless you now. Cause see that's why I be clowning sometimes. Cause I know how my people will do. Be on there. It'll be Monday. Day after Sunday. Just got out of church. Google what fit 49.99. Oh, I did not authorize that charge. Yes, yes. Close my car. Send me a new car. And please, yes, dispute that. You know, people be doing me like that. People will buy a course, go through the whole course, get the information and go activate business too. I see them later online and be enrolled in Ashford. You know, when I sold my life code certification on a sale on Christmas, it was a white woman and a black man. That's what let me know you can't judge nobody by the race or the gender. Cause it was two of them did me like that. They bought the life code certification, got certified, got their certificate, got on my site, my mentor got life. You got to be certified to join the site, got on the site, started doing coaching sessions and a month or two months later, called a bank and told a bank that that charge was a fraudulent charge. I got the email from the payment process. I say, what? I say they done disputed the charge and they got the discount. I wrote my developer, I say, check this name. And check this name. They came in like a few days apart. See if they on my mentor got life. Sure enough, they on my mentor got life. I say delete their account. Delete their account, refund a money that they done paid, delete their account. I say we not having no coaches without integrity. But that's how people will do you. And then think they're gonna get blessed in life. Think they're gonna get ahead in life. You can't live like that. But because I know God and I believe God, that's why I have to live my life with integrity because I know God see everything. I could lie to you and get over on you and you could believe a lie. Humans believe lies all the time. It's broke financial advisors that we thank millionaires because we believe lies. We easy, we very gullible. Just like my wife believe them reels is not produced. She think there's organic real reels. But it's only so many times you're gonna fall for a joke. Then next time something happen, you know your wife recorded it because the check coming in for the views. You know, YouTube paid like $1,000 once you get a million views. But some of these people, they get a million views on one reel. But so just how my wife believe them reels is real. We believe people lives be real because of what we show y'all on the internet. A lot of people believe everything they see. And so it's easy to get over on people. But one thing when you believe in God, you know that you could get over on people, but you can't get over on God. So you got to live what you teaching. You got to really be by that behind closed doors. And you slip and fall, you got to repent. You got to get up with a realness about yourself. You know, you can't play with it. And I appreciate all the knowledge and wisdom I have learned from your counseling advice, being transparent, most things you say hurt, but that's only because they are true. When I disagree with your viewpoint, I seek to understand and I argue. Hey, God bless you and I tell you like my daddy told me, if I tell you chicken dip snuff, you better check on this Wayne. A lot of y'all know what's dip snuff is. You know, snuff used to be that powder coming a little can like this. And it's like some little ground up powder. I guess it's tobacco. And they put it in their lip. Groma used to have snuff put in their lip. You'll have it in there be sucking on it. And my daddy used to all have that saying, he said, if I tell you a chicken dip snuff, you better check on it Wayne. And basically what he was saying is I ain't gonna tell you nothing that ain't vetted, that ain't tested, that ain't seen, that I don't know to be true. They're gonna come back and I had so many clients. I don't just talk out the side of my neck. I know I'm country and I know I kind of infuse, you know, a little personality, a little laughter in there, but I don't just be telling y'all stuff just to be talking. I really, it'd be because I done seen it a thousand times from three different angles. And that's what become my theories. My theories become my laws, my belief system because I've been in the trenches doing this. So when I'm answering the questions, I'm coming from a place of thousands of case studies. And that's where I'm speaking from, not just, you know, trying to say something that sound cute. Hello Tony, why are so many men, age 35 and up dressing more feminine? Skinny jeans, dyed hair, man bags, and showing their ankles. I can't take them serious as men dressed like that. Now see, Carlos, now you old school now, cause I'm gonna tell you, they got me in some of that stuff too. And I'm gonna tell you, Carlos, and this is what I try to tell y'all. This is what I try to tell y'all. That's real. That is real. That's a spirit of femininity. And that's an attack of the enemy. I'm gonna tell you because your clothes can determine how you feel. And if your clothes got you feeling sexy, when you feeling sexy, then as a man, you wanna feel frisky. So then when you feeling frisky, it make you wanna get frisky. And so what's happening is the designers, a lot of the designers who design the clothes are men who like men. So they done already tapped into their femininity. And they got, they into all kind of stuff and they doing in design and they tapping into another side of their brain. So they get real, oh, somebody sent me a cash out from Hawaii. God bless you, now. Crystal, I sent you for your wire. Thank you for allowing Tony to donate time. God bless you. And bless you to a high roof. It's cash out my phone, cash out senior text message. God bless you to a high roof. Now don't y'all have me, now don't y'all have me doing all this accounting, y'all have me doing too much accounting. Now let's tell me because that right there almost distract me. What's happening is what we have to realize and you got to always look a little deeper. You got to always look a little deeper and I'll send him a wife that blessing you sent for. You got to always look a little deeper and what you're gonna see is that it's spiritual. So a lot of the designers of the men's clothes are men who like men. And so they tapping to that femininity and they dressing sexy for their boyfriend. And I ain't knocking nobody in there. I ain't knocking nobody. I ain't talking bad about them. I ain't calling them no names. I ain't using no derogatory term. I don't take this out of context. I'm just planning to you the science of it. When you look at the designers and when you look at the men designers, what you notice is about seven out of 10 of them are men who like men. And a lot of times those men, they don't dress what was seen as masculine. They start to dress as what is seen as feminine. And so they design in these clothes, but see them clothes actually matter because how you dress is how you feel. If I had you put on garbage bags, you're gonna feel trashy. If I had you put on a brand new shirt, you're gonna feel clean. You're gonna feel expensive. If I put on an $800 shirt on you, you're gonna feel royalty. You're gonna feel bougie. If I put an $8 shirt on you, you're gonna feel normal. If that's what you're used to, you're gonna feel average. You're gonna feel regular. If you used to wear an $800 shirts and I put an $8 shirt on you, you're gonna feel cheap. You're gonna feel like, ugh, because your clothes can determine how you feel. And a lot of times you pick your clothes based on how you feel. And so what happened is now these men, we got a lot of men wearing the ball huggers and wearing, you got the back eye, they got stomach eye, they got little chest eye, they got slits, they got, like you say, the man bags. Now, and for me, I'm the type of person I resisted. I fight it for so long. I fight it for so long. And then at some point I end up in give-in. And like my son had on some pants and he put on his mama shoes. She had some Gucci loafers. I went off on her and him. I made them take them off. I made them put on the shoes that he had for him, but I had put my foot in them and then realized, and I was wondering why I was so tight and why I couldn't get my foot in them because my wife had bought us some shoes for an event. So I had them stretch them out. So when he put his foot in them, they didn't fit. And so he had to put them loafers back on and he had his ankle showing and that's how they dressing. He went to the school, they come home, they tell him he was the best dress. They try to rub that in my face because I told him, I told him in other words, I said, hey, I don't use derogatory term, but I basically let them know, like I, them girl shoes, them is women's shoes, but they said that you don't know that, that they was like, I say, show me the men loafers. They showed it to me, sure enough, they look the same as my wife loafers. I ain't like the color, but I associated the loafers with my wife because I know they're her loafers. Now he wear her dunks, he wear her other Nikes, he wear all her shoes. His shoe size right now is her shoe size. She wear eight and a half. And so he wearing her shoe size. And so he wear a lot of her shoes. Now when it's tennis shoes, it don't look bad. But now when he put them loafers on, that is third of my spirit. And it showed me what a world is going, but then it's like, if I'm saying something, then I'm the bad person. But I feel like Carlisle feel, and I see, but today we old school, we old school, we talked about, we ain't helped with the times and all of this, but it's because I'm looking at it spiritually. I'm looking at it spiritually and people don't understand spiritual warfare. And that's why these men are not looking for wives, like we used to look for wives because the men feeling like a wife because we walk around with the ball huggers on and with a slit in this shirt. So they feeling pretty hot and tempting, like how a woman wanna feel. So now the man feeling like he is Daisy Duke. And so now he feeling so feminine, he can't even muster up the masculine courage to approach a woman. That's why these men talking about they want a woman to shoot they shot to them in the DM because the men feeling so feminine because of the clothes that they were wearing, how they dressing and with the fanny pack so tight. Now you can have your little messenger bag, but these guys put that thing on tight. I'm like, that's look like a cross-body purse. Like, okay, I understand messenger bag, but at least wear it on this, I don't know how you supposed to wear it. Like me, I'm gonna grab it by the handle and let the scrap hang. I'm not gonna scrap the bag cross me because I see that's what so many women do when they cross bodies. So as a man, I don't wanna wear a cross body cause a woman will cross body. But today that's normal. Thugs wearing cross body, dope boys wearing cross body. And it's like, you look at a man in these jeans, you could see the vein in his thigh. You could see all kind of scrotum sitting up there like, boy, you about to get prostate. Them pants so tight. And it's like, what is going on? And then I'm seeing men now they got slits in their shirts. And you could, they showing back like how women dress showing back, men showing back. Now men got slits across the front showing nipple, showing abdomen, diaphragm. I'm like, man, what is going on? I went the day to the car dealership and the man who were making the drinks at the cafe at the car dealership had on nail polish. So I say, man. And the other man who was getting his food, he married, I think. Yeah, I think he married. He told the man, hey, I'm nail popping. I say, you finna reinforce the polish? I'm like, okay, I see him with the polish now. But I ain't gonna comment on it. Like, okay, do you think now, but I'm not finna be complimenting no man on his nail polish. Hey, just nice nail color you got there, brother. But see, this is where we coming. So now we wondering why heterosexual men is acting so feminine is because they're wearing their wife clothes, they're wearing their home girl clothes. They ain't married. Well, some of them get married. And so now this is a role reversal. It's becoming a role reversal because what they saying, so what society is doing now, which I get it on the empowerment, but what they doing is it's a duality. See the thing is it will be different if society is saying, hey, like right now it's, I know a lady who got a fund for women business and she giving women $100,000 for their business and they got like $5 million and then they rate, they started with 5 million. They don't raise a lot more money and they giving women $100,000 for their business. That's a lot of money. I have not seen the equivalent for men. So I like the women's empowerment, but if you're empowering women and you saying, hey, get your bag, go out there and grind, get to the bag. But then you feminizing men saying, wear this shirt with this slit in it, wear these jeans that cut off your circulation. Now you telling women to go do what you have traditionally told men to go do and let's go chase money. And now you telling men to do what you have traditionally told women to do and that is to accentuate your look so your body or the dress in a certain way. And so now men becoming feminine and women is getting to the bag, bosses. And it's this role reversal. So if somebody posted the picture or Will and Jada, Jada was sitting down with her legs like this and Will was sitting down with his legs like this and Will had his legs like this and had a hand on his knee. Like, I'll say, and Jada was sitting like this, like a rapper on the brownstone steps in the Bronx, or wherever they had a brownstone with them steps at. I say, man, that's an interesting dynamic. Now I'm gonna tell you as a man, I have never crossed my legs. I just did it right there and I hurt some. I feel, I'm aching right now, I'm aching. So a lot of men sit with their legs crossed and I don't try to judge people. It's typical older men, but I see some younger men sit with their legs crossed. Me personally, I just can't get it because it's something between my legs. So if I try to cross my legs, my legs will not cross and it hurts me, but it's a lot of men sit with their legs crossed knocking y'all now, I just personally do not understand it. But see, for some men, that posture takes on an energy and it affects their mindset and it changes them. The same way these clothes is affecting a lot of men and a lot of men is dressing like Instagram model and they literally becoming Instagram models. And then you look up later and you find out that the man is also sleeping with men as well as women. But it's energy, it's a mindset. And so this is what's happening and that's why today men and also men by society is being pushed into this space of weakness because society is now trying to right its wrongs, but you know when the media start trying to right a wrong, they go gung-ho, they just go way, they just do a whole lot. So now the women's empowerment is so big that men feel like it's men disempowerment. Men are looking at women's empowerment as men disempowerment. So now the men are shrinking and becoming bitter and becoming resentful and starting podcasts to bash women. And then the women say, we have put up with so much crap for all of these years and now y'all wanna start podcasting bash us. Okay, we finna go toe-to-toe in because now I got a bag. I used to could not work, I used to could not vote. I used to, I wasn't paid, I couldn't start a business, I couldn't do this and that, now I can do this and now you wanna bash me. So now we're about to go toe-to-toe. So now what the media, what society has done, it has put men versus women. And what that does is it breaks down the household. But then when you have chaos and you have division, those at the top have more power and control because if you divide it, you easier to be controlled. And so people don't see what be going on. And it ain't about like a Build-A-Bird group or Illuminati, it's really about capitalism. It's companies that they say, hey, we're gonna empower the marginalized, the disenfranchised, but we're gonna ignore the rest. And so we're gonna build up one and we're gonna leave another down and they're gonna be against each other, but we done got the bag over here from the ones that used to be empowered. Now we're gonna get the bag over here. So now we got the whole market, we didn't capture the whole market. And that's all that really be happening. And so that right there all goes back to the household. It all trickles down to the relationship dynamics and the role reversal. And so when you think about it and you start to look at the commercials and you start to look at the movements and when you see a grant for this particular group of people, see if you see a grant for the opposite, the other race or the other gender. And you typically won't see it, you typically won't. And so what that just naturally does is it just makes people resent each other. Not to say that one group don't deserve help, but it just human nature. And, but with the corporations is divide and conquer. Gonna divide you and then we're gonna conquer you. And now you upset, you stress, so what you gonna do? Retail therapy. Now you finish men more recklessly, now we got more control. And that's why people like myself don't get TV shows. Because when you know too much, they can't give you a platform. When you know too much, they can't put you in the algorithm. When you know too much, when you could see what's going on, you can't get algorithmized. You can't get algorithmized when you know too much. I made that up, we gonna use that. But see, it's a lot of people that know a lot, but they get unhinged. So eventually their wisdom becomes radicalism. Their wisdom is labeled as you crazy. You a conspiracy theorist because they lack emotional intelligence. They go to cursing too much. They go to yelling too much. They go to bickering too much. They go to focusing on my new things and arguing. They stopping for every barking dog. So the system will put them in the algorithm because they know people ultimately gonna look at them like a fool. But if the system know that you got influence, if they know that you are not unhinged, if they know that you can start a movement, you remember on the Malcolm Mads when Malcolm did it like this? And they showed the white man say, no one man should have all that power. When they realize that you is gonna be composed, and that you got sense, they not gonna elevate you because you could start a movement. That's why Facebook shadow banned my page and took me out the algorithm because my message became a movement. And my message on Facebook literally started reaching 20 million people a week. They had Facebook insights. They didn't ended the insights, but they still got them in a certain way. But I log in to Facebook and it'll say your posts have reached 20 million people. And I took a week off on vacation. I logged in when I got back and say your posts over the last week reached 10 million people. I went to a camp basketball players. I was one of the speakers. And one of the trainers came up to me. He said, man, let me show you something. He said, it's ridiculous. He opened his Facebook and he went to his feed and he scrolled like this, you know, for about 30 seconds. And like every other post was a repost of my quotes. He say, man, this is what I got to look at all day. So because it was sense, because it was some sense and because people be really, we won't sense. We wanna hear sound doctrine. We wanna hear wisdom. We don't just want ignorance and fluff, although that's what get praised and promoted. We will promote ignorance over intellect very quickly. But deep down we yearning for real messages, for real people. And so that's why those of us in the blessed tribe who start YouTube and you talking sense and you giving real game with no gimmicks, meaning that you're not trying to scam people. You're not trying to trick people and you're not unhinged and your motives are pure. You grow a lot slower. You're still gonna grow if God got you. You're still gonna grow. It's just you're gonna grow slower. And it's gonna be a growth that nobody can stop. Nobody can block, but it's gonna be, you got the trades a little longer, you know. And so that's what you got to understand is when you see what's happening on the surface level, when you get to the root of it, you start to realize men are not looking or men dressing feminine because of this. And then what does that feminine dressing man become in the household? How did that show up in the family dynamic? This man who has now taken on more feminine energy than masculine energy, when the male and female are created differently and the energy should be different. And then you start to realize, oh, this was going on. So that's the thing. And that's what we got to understand. So, hey, I don't talk too much. Chastity, I'll probably do another married couple's course here soon, one of these days. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of married couples in my audience because, you know, this is about relationships and recognizing red flags and things like that. And it's like, once you get married, you in it, you know, and you working on y'all and y'all got your own doctrine and what you believe in your household. As a man, you don't want your woman listening to another man on average because you don't know how she gonna take what this other man's saying and you the king of your castle, you the head of your household. And so that's why a lot of married couples are not in the following of relationship coaches. If the man has any type of control issues or insecurities or holes in what he's doing, he fears that it'll get pointed out. So the men who are secure and who know like, hey, I'm doing, I'm supposed to be doing. And me and my wife, we watching this kind of content, it's entertaining, it keep us sharp. We get to see and be thankful that we married and we get to learn from what people going through. We get to identify what we've missed in single life and we get it for what it's worth. That's gonna be few and far in between because as men, we so territorial. And we so territorial and controlling and so it's, that's why it's really, it's hard for me to do stuff with married couples but I probably gonna do a retreat for married couples. But the thing about it is my wife could never get away because we got young boys. And she literally cry if she gotta miss a game. Like she got a family member that's going through some health complications. And so she had to miss my son's trip to Georgia to play soccer for the Olympic development program. And she literally cry because she could count on one hand how many of his soccer games she has missed in his 15 years of life. And so that's why me and my wife also can't really work together and like do stuff right now because she focused on the family. She focused on the household. She don't wanna take a second away from our son's to serve adults. When they gone, that may change. She's kind of about to start doing, she may do a little YouTube on the skincare and the fashion and stuff, but she has tried to start it before and she let it go because she focused right there. And one of these days, one of these days. So that's why with the marriage stuff I really don't feel a lot of times comfortable doing it without my wife because it's just my voice and it's not the woman side of things. And so that's why I struggled with doing that. But when she get ready and she ready to get out there, you know, I'll be able to do more. So, hey, God bless y'all, really appreciate you. And I see a lot going on, but we've been on here over two hours. So God bless you and appreciate bless tribe, Patreon. Next month we got us the little house retreat thing. And then for those of y'all on my Patreon, y'all just got the survey. I'll put my Patreon in here. I mean, y'all don't know about it, about the retreat. So we're gonna be doing probably, it most likely be an international retreat, but only the Patreon got invited for now. And then because that's, you know, another level outside of YouTube support. And then I'll invite the bless tribe and bless business tribe. And then it'll just be, the retreat will be just from those groups first because it's only up to 20 people. But I may start doing up to one a quarter. And it's really, it's not like y'all gotta understand I'm not a therapist. You know, I'm just, I'm like your brother, you know, I'm not a therapist. So we're not doing retreats to be talking about childhood trauma and abuse and all of that. It's really just like a group vacation, a little bit of motivation, just connecting with like-minded people, sharing phone numbers, emails, linking up. You might meet somebody, hit it off, y'all start a business together, start a nonprofit together, start a YouTube channel together, it's just for that life. And it might be some single men that go, some single women that go, you might meet your spouse on the nine out of 10 times, you're not because men just don't typically do stuff like that, like go on retreats and stuff by themselves. Which just showed the difference in independence between male and female, which is something we need to work on. So if you a fellow and you happen to see this, you know, and you single and you looking for your wife, you might find your wife in a space like this right here. So, you know, instead of racking your brain about it and keep trying to meet a woman at the mall, get in a space of growth where people, like-minded people are growing and you might meet. Cause men will watch this right here, but never engage, never get involved. Just, and it's just, it's fear. You know, it's fear and just saying that we deal with how we view that as men, if we show vulnerability, if we show that we care, if we show that we growing, men like to grow in the dark, whereas women, they'll grow in the light too. Men like to grow in private, men like to cry in private, men like to open up in private. And so as men, we got to get out that man box and understand the freedom in being authentic and being real and being open for victory and for lessons. So, hey, this is Tony, guys. God bless you. We'll talk soon.