 Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor, welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. And hit the subscribe button, click all notifications to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me, just go to my website, it is narcsurvivor.co.uk Don't argue with a narcissist, do this instead. You try talking to the narcissist, you try to get them to see things your way, where you then engaged in pointless and prolonged arguments, and it's just a waste of time. You're devoting your energy to a useless activity that is not going to serve you in any way, because they're wired to deflect everything, to cause you to alter your course and deviate from your intended purpose. So that it prevents it from directing towards or affecting them, because they don't want to be criticized or blamed for anything. So they're going to play dumb. They're going to intentionally act ignorant or uninformed about something by pretending that they have no awareness of certain events or situations, which is a typical thing that narcissists do. And it is done with a specific purpose in mind, which is to mislead you. It's a strategy to deceive, manipulate and avoid responsibility, because they know exactly what's wrong, they know what you're upset about, and they know why you would have a problem with it. But they're not just going to give in, they're going to keep pressuring you, or they will withdraw and pretend to understand what you're saying, and then they will disappear for a few days, only to return using the same behaviors and tactics again. And this isn't an accident. It's not something where they took an action or made a decision that was wrong or produced a result that was not intended. It was calculated and deliberate. They knew exactly what they were doing, and it's what they do to maintain control, because they're very insecure, and they're driven by high levels of anxiety to feel safe, because everything is a threat to them, reality is a threat to them, because they're constantly operating with a false self that cannot exist in reality. So they need to control everything at all costs, so that it doesn't threaten their false self. But then they will also strategically make you feel like you've got the upper hand by giving you a moment of inactivity, where they're no longer on your case, but then they will come back doing the same thing again, or they will give you another issue or problem to think about and deal with, until you finally deal with that. And then they leave you alone again for another few days or even a week. But then there's another issue yet again, and it's done to exhaust you, to drain you of your physical and mental resources, to where you get tired through overuse, great strain and stress, because they want to wear you down. They're the predator, and you are their prey, so they engage in persistent hunting, which is a rather disturbing act of chasing down prey for extended periods of time, until it is too tired to run anymore, which makes it easy pickings for them. Even though you would normally be much stronger than they are, and this is why they use this tactic, because they know this, so they have to wear you down first, and they will wear you down to the point where you just want to give up, where you feel like it's not even worth trying to protect yourself anymore, because no matter what you do, you're always going to be dealing with something, and that's exactly what they want, because they want you to love them unconditionally, whether there's no limitations or conditions for them, as they continue to abuse you in some of the most shocking, disgusting and sickening ways, but that's the whole purpose of what they're trying to accomplish, which is why when you try to explain or justify their behaviour or attitude with logical reasons, you're really just wasting your time, because you're dealing with a predator, someone who potentially has the same mind as a rapist or a murderer, so they've only got one thing on their mind and that's to destroy you, so you're not going to influence them to act sensibly, or get them to adopt decisions using evidence or logic, that's not going to have any effect on them, because you're dealing with a madman, a nutcase, someone who is extremely foolish and reckless, someone who is mentally ill, a lunatic, a maniac, someone who is out of their mind, so you're never going to get through to them, and they're never going to understand you, because they're beyond the realms of any sort of understanding, everything is just fun and games to the narcissist, no matter what happens, no matter who gets hurt, the show must go on and it's never going to stop, and while it may seem like they're completely out of their minds, they do know exactly what they're doing, but they're never going to reveal or disclose any information to you, because if they were to do that it would put you in a position of control, which is why when you're trying to talk sense into them, as you're being rational and logical, and you're trying to cause them to stop thinking and behaving foolishly and recklessly, because you're trying to gain control of the situation, and typically the person who is most rational and logical wins, but they can't deal with that because they have all of these crazy obsessive thoughts going around in their heads, so they ramp up their irrational, impulsive and ruckus behaviour, to shock you and wear you down, so that it causes you so much trauma, disturbance and distress, to where you're unable to deal successfully with the situation, and they do this by keeping you defensive, to where you're always trying to correct them, or you're always trying to defend or protect yourself from danger or harm, because you never know what they're going to do next, so you're hyper-vigilant, you're always in anticipation of their next move, until you end up feeling physically and mentally exhausted, you're devoid of motivation and beyond caring, because they've been on you for such a long time, you're overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to keep up with their incessant demands, as a result of prolonged and repeated stress, so after a certain amount of time they're going to overcome you by persistence, by firm and obstinate continuance, in their course of action, in spite of difficulty or opposition, and that's what they're based in their hopes and confidence on, because it's why they do what they do, it's to mentally exhaust you, so that you can no longer put up a fight, and then you will fail to function in your usual organized and competent way, which is what they see as their competition, because that's what they're trying to overcome, but they also do this because they want all of your focus to be on them, they want all of your attention, which they get by making you worry about what they're doing, or what they're getting away with, or what they could possibly come up with next, so you're constantly finding solutions to these difficult and complex issues, you're constantly overcoming the necessary obstacles, in order to stay afloat and have the upper hand over them, but by doing that, you're neglecting other things that you should be attending to, and the narcissist sees this, they see where you're dimension, and your efforts to keep pace with them, so they know that all they have to do is keep bringing more of the same issues to you, and the more you engage with them, the more difficult experiences you will experience, until you eventually get into serious trouble, which is why they want you to invest all of your time and energy into correcting and helping them, and solving all of their problems. You're dealing with someone who is deliberately being challenging and troublesome, in order to pose difficulties, and to injure and endanger your health and morals, through their own lack of discipline and self-control, so they're essentially a child in an adult body, who is constantly throwing a temper tantrum, but they also have more knowledge than an adult, and they have secret strategies to use when they need to, so in this particular situation, you will never be good enough, and you will never achieve the desired result, and instead, you will find yourself losing control, because they're going to be the ones who have control over you, and they're going to be telling you what to do and what's wrong with you, because they're going to be making it out as though you've changed, when you will most definitely have changed, if you have been with them for a while, because you're dealing with their ruthless and merciless mind games that attack on your character and disposition, until it begins to affect your energy and focus, and then you're experiencing insomnia, and disturbed thought processes or cognitive impairment, which may include memory loss, confusion, disorientation, difficulty concentrating, impaired judgement, changes in behaviour and personality, and problems with problem-solving and decision-making abilities, which is all just a victory to the narcissist, because then you're unstable and off-balance, and you're out of harmony with yourself, which was the only thing standing in the way of them controlling you, so now they're in control, and you've experienced a state of mental collapse, and you're just trying to hold on so that you don't fall, because you've been through so many things with them, to the point where you're no longer trying to stand for anything, and instead you're now willing to accept the situation, rather than trying to adjust or control it, but this is really what you have to do. You have to stop engaging with them. You have to stop trying to get them to understand things, because it's beyond their comprehension. It's beyond their ability to understand, and it's just dragging you into more and more difficult situations. It's pulling you down the rabbit hole, to where at some point it may be difficult for you to find your way out. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful, please give it a thumbs up, share your thoughts in the comment section, hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel, you can donate at payable.me.com You can book a one-on-one with me on my website, it's narchsurviver.co.uk Thank you for watching, and I'll talk to you soon.