 The Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes Program coming to you from New York City and starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Back in the dead days when folks have put on long linen dusters to go scorching over the roads in a brand new horseless carriage, yes, way back then delicious, molly rich grape nuts were making a hit at American Breakfast Tables, and they've been making a hit ever since. Today you can enjoy that one delicious flavor in two delicious forms. Grape Nuts, crisp feet, crunchy kernels, and Grape Nuts Flakes, delicate toasty brown flakes. Both have a molly rich sweet as a nut goodness that's absolutely distinctive. A flavor with punch and zest that makes breakfast a high spot of the day. And Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes are both basic seven foods, or they supply all-around whole grain nourishment. Our government wants us to eat more of such cereals for their plentiful, not rationed, and they help to take the place of scarcer foods. So for real energy-giving nourishment, plus rich unusual flavor and texture, make it Grape Nuts or Grape Nuts Flakes in the morning, every morning. Mary, are you sure it's all right? Certainly, isn't it, Phil? Sure, go ahead, Don. Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the second broadcast of the season, we bring you the first lady of Grape Nuts, Miss Mary Livingston. Again, this is Mary talking. And Don, the reason I asked you to introduce me is because Jack's out in the hall talking to his new writers. His writers? Not so loud, Don. Not so loud. You know, people think I had lived this stuff here, you know. I'm one of them spontaneous men. I'm sorry, Phil. Say, Mary, how's Jackson since he got home? Oh, Phil, it's simply awful. Since he got back from North Africa, that's all he talks about. He absolutely drives you nuts. Are you kidding? Kidding? You want to know something? Jack's a bigger ham now than he was before he left. No. No, no. No. No, don't do that to me. I got a wife's baby. Maybe two. Alice, this military stuff has really gotten into Jack's system. Gosh, how he'd love to be a general. What a guy. I can't understand Jack wanting to be a soldier. Wasn't he in the Navy in the last war? Yeah, but he was in the army, the war before that. It's one thing I got to tell you, kids. You'll never believe this. What is it, Mary? Yeah, tell us. Oh, it's so fantastic. Well, go ahead, tell us. What is it? Well, yesterday morning while Jack was shaving, he cut his cheek. And ever since then, he's been calling himself old blood and guts. He's impossible. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. That's Jack now out in the hall. One, two, three, four. What you doing, grilling? Either that or counting his hair. Who knows? Say, Mary, do you think I ought to go out and get Jack away from these boys? No, I'll go. And I hope he's forgotten about his African campaign. Recruits from the Allen. Just look at you. Balls are pulling your typewriter. Yes, sir. And Josesburg, your pencil. Look at that point. That's my head, sir. I mean the one with the eraser on it. And Tackaberry, where's Howard? He went AWOL to Red Skelton, sir. He did, eh? Now, listen, men, this is no picnic, you know. You got a job to do, and I'm going to see that you do it. And you, look at you with your hair hanging down on your face. I never had that trouble with Bill Marrow. But, sir, wasn't he bald? That's beside the point. That's my head, sir. Lighter with me for eight years. Eddie Beloyne. Do you know where he is now? In the sanitarium, sir. Now, cut that out, Balls, sir. All right, men, you can go downstairs to your room now, right next week's program. Yes, sir. About face, forward, mark. Acting like a top sergeant in the movies. You wouldn't have so much trouble. Now, come on in, Jack. The program's half over. Okay. Jack, we've been waiting for you. Hiya, Jackson. That is, men. Shall we line up for inspection? Uh, play, Phil. You see, Mary, I have to discipline the boys. That's the only way. And now, ladies and gentlemen, hey, Jackson, Mary tells us you've gone military since you got back from Africa. What's the idea? What do you mean? She says the army life has gone to your head. Oh, that's ridiculous. Ridiculous? Didn't you try to buy an officer's uniform with two pair of shoulders? Mary, it was just a buck private's uniform. And I had a hard time finding one. Well, let's go into a lot of trouble just to get in the movies for half price, bub. Gags like that put you on Fred Allen's class and he's not working. As long as you brought it up, you know, as long as you brought it up, the part of the army I'm interested in is the air corps. There you are, fellas. I am. I'm really am. I'm interested in the air corps. Last night he brought down six flies with a spray gun, so now he's an A. I brought down seven and three probables. If you're getting out, communicate, sister. Get them right. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our come in. Mr. Bunny, remember me from last week? I'm the cab driver that brought you into the airport. Oh, yes, yes, certainly. Yeah, your name is... Crowley. Yes, I remember. You have a brother over in North Africa. Yeah, Joseph Corpwell. Yes, yeah. Oh, of course, certainly. Corpwell Crowley. I can't understand you're not running into him. He was in Africa the same time you were. Look, buddy, buddy, I told you last week, you know, I saw so many soldiers. I mean, how would I know your brother? Well, a couple of months ago, we got into a debate with an MP and lost three front teeth. Well, it just so happens that every soldier I saw had all his front teeth. Then you've probably seen Joe. He had a bridge put in. Look, Mr. Crowley, I know how you feel. I mean, you've got a brother who's a corporal in the army and you're proud of him. I'm proud of him, too. I mean, but how can I pick out among thousands and thousands of men? Well, a strafe boy did. Look, Mr. Crowley, look, look, look, I know what you've got. We've got a program to do. I'll talk to you later. Just take a chair and sit down over there, will you? Okay. Thank you. You know, Mary, he's a nice guy and I can understand how he feels, but what can I do? My writers, they finally thought of a joke. One of them didn't like it. You said it, huh? You know, Mary, guys like that, you know... Hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Dennis, you don't have to salute me in the studio. Yes, sir. And you don't have to call me sir. Yes, ma'am. Dennis, look, just act natural, you see, but don't overdo it, you know. Okay. Say, Mr. Benny, you must have a very funny program. As I was coming in, I heard people laughing and screaming. Well, that wasn't the audience, Dennis. That was my writers. Well, they're people, aren't they, Ms. Livingston? I'm not so sure about the one that's got his ears tied in a bow. Mary, he has to tie them. There's a bobby pin shortage. Anyway... Say, Mr. Benny, do you think you can get one of your writers to relieve me this evening? Well... Relieve you what, Dennis? I'm on sentry duty in front of Mr. Benny's room every night. Dennis, it's just until... Isn't that awful. Well, listen, kid, you don't have to stand there all night. When Jackson goes to sleep, why don't you beat it? Oh, I don't dare. He's got his bed pushed up to the door and he keeps peeking at me through the keyhole. Dennis, stop exaggerating, will you? And let's have your song. Okay. Yeah, you'd think that... Practice knuckles a lot. Funny, it didn't hear him. Who? My brother, Corporal Crowley. Look, you told me about his knuckles last week. Now, look at Crowley. Won't you please... Hey, those writers are really on the beam. I'm going down and see what gags they've dreamed up. Excuse me, kid. All right, Dennis, while Jack's gone, you might as well do your song. Okay, Miss Livingston. Oh, hold on a minute. I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Miss Livingston, this is Rochester. Rochester, he's been giving you that military stuff too. Hazy, you won't let me out of the hotel room without a three-day pass. He made me sew four stars on his nightgown and a service strap on his beanie. Sillyest thing I ever heard of. So far. Rochester, Mr. Benny just stepped out, but I'll tell him you called. Thanks, Miss Livingston. I'll be right over to pick him up. Goodbye. Goodbye. Now, let's see. Where did I put my helmet? A service stripe on his BVD. Okay, kids. Hey, let's get on with the show. Say, Jack, what were your writers laughing about? Did they think up some good gags for you? No, they were listening to a record of Burns and Allen. Sing, Dennis, a fine bunch of guys I've got. Say, he does look funny with his ears tied in a bow with that, you know? It's an exceptional film. Thank Your Lucky Stars. Presented by the famous Warner Brothers and made by that talented and lovable producer, Mark Hellinger, making a happy combination. Jack, what are you worried about? Your sign for your next picture. And sung by Dennis Day. Right, I'm sorry. Yes, right, ladies and gentlemen, sung by Dennis Day. That lovable tenor with the golden voice. Thanks. And do you good folks know why Dennis has such a sweet and golden voice? No. Why? He eats grape nuts and grape nuts flakes, thereby enjoying one delicious flavor in two distinctive forms. Isn't that right, Dennis? Yes. Grape nuts are so crunchy and the flakes, they are so munchy that I always eat a bunchy for my breakfast and my lunchy. Dennis, uh, Dennis, how about, how about dinner? Thanks. Are you sure I won't be intruding? You won't bring your own grape nuts. And now, folks, for our feature, come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? Brown's the name, John Brown. I'm a reporter for the Associated Press. They sent me over here to get an interview. Well, I'm always glad to see the gentleman of the press. Great bunch of boys. Don't give me that, Chum. I hate this as much as you love it. Oh, Mr. Brown? I want a story and you need publicity, so start talking. Well, look, Mr. Brown. I got to make a deadline and you want to see your pussy in print. Well, Mr. Brown... Now, tell me about your trip. Where did you go? What did you do? Well, uh, to tell you the truth, fellow, I, I don't want to brag. But you will. No, Mr. Brown, I'm not bragging at all. I was in Central Africa, Cairo, the Persian Gulf. Yes, yes. I was also in Sicily, Italy. Were you in Tripoli? Yes. Casablanca? What did you say, Mr. I said, were you in Casablanca? Was I in Casablanca? Let me tell you a story, Mr. Brown. Come closer. This will be interesting. Very interesting. Blanca in 1939, across the Mediterranean to Iran, then by train or camel or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco, where some men sell their souls for a passport, but others wait and wait and wait. Casablanca, the crossroads of the world, the scene is Ricky Bogart's nightclub, where the high, the low, the fallen and the mighty gather to see this man of mystery, Ricky. Closing up for the night, Mr. Ricky, better come on with me. You've had enough to drink. Oh, Sam, I want to stay here and brew. I want to brew, Sam. What are you brewing about? You know what it is. It's her, Sam. Ingrid. When we split up in Paris, she left me. She left me, Sam. Left me a sad and broken down old man. That's the way she found you, boy. Ingrid, I thought I'd gotten you out of my mind, that you come back like a ghost, haunting me, haunting me. But I won't take you back, see? I won't do it. If Humphrey Bogart's listening, it doesn't get any better. Sam, play that song for me again, will you, kid? What's the use, Mr. Ricky? It only brings back memories. I don't care. Play it. Say, my brother was in Casablanca. Maybe you saw him there. Look, Crowley. Crowley, not now. I'm having trouble with a girl. Just sit down, Crowley. Sit down, pour yourself a drink, will you? Okay, thanks. Ingrid. Ingrid, go ahead, Sam. Play that song. I want to hear it once more. You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss. A stop! Goes by. Sing it, boys. And when two lovers won't, they still say I love you. Oh, come on. It's a plot. What a song, Sam. It tortures me. It tortures me when I love it. Here, Crowley. Crowley, have another drink. Sing it, Sam. Sing it. Moonlight and love songs, never out of date. Ah, it's full of bastard, jealous, little hate. Womanate, man. Crowley, haven't you got a brother up here in... Haven't you got a brother up here in North Africa? Yeah, how did you know? I met his brother in New York. He's a cab driver. Never heard of him. Me neither. Sing it, Sam. Sing that song that keeps breaking my heart. Sing it. You must remember this. A kiss is still a... Mr. Rickey. Mr. Rickey, look. What is it, Sam? Look in the doorway. It's her. It's her. Ingrid. My Ingrid. You must remember this. Ask me if I was ever in Casablanca. Please. I'd like to take just a moment to tell you something about the wax. They're making a tremendous contribution to victory. I know their spirit and courage. Their immense pride in their jobs. And they have a right to be proud. The trouble is, there aren't enough of them to do all the things that need doing. So won't you give some serious thought to joining up? The wax uniform is a mark of rare distinction. It's the uniform of the greatest army in the world. Now, maybe you don't realize this, but there are 155 different kinds of jobs open right now in the wax. Well, out of 155 jobs, you can certainly find one that will suit your own special abilities. So think it over. You can go to your local wax recruiting station and get all the details. You know, every woman who joins the wax helps to bring victory closer. Helps to bring our American boys back home quicker. And that's something we all want to do. B is for books. Well, today it's different. A is for adequate. B is for breakfast. And G is for grape nuts and grape nuts flakes. Two grand cereals for your adequate breakfast. You know, nutrition experts tell us breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And at that time, we should get at least one quarter of our entire day's nourishment. And what's more, they say a cereal supplying whole grain nourishment is a must in the adequate breakfast. Well, you can't do better than choose grape nuts or grape nuts flakes. They taste so good. Mally rich and sweet as a nut. And grape nuts and grape nuts flakes both bring you whole grain food values. So there, in one swell tempting treat, you're getting a wonderful start on your day's nourishment needs. Grape nuts and grape nuts flakes are thrifty, plentiful, not rations. Better make them a breakfast time habit at your house. Grape nuts, grape nuts flakes. We're a little late, so good night, folks. There you go. Hot grape nut sweet meal. There's a treat as is a treat. Try a bowl of this rousing, rich, hot brown cereal, and you'll say it's the best ever. As a gloriously smooth, full-body texture. As the rich goodness of roasted whole wheat. As the grand whole grain nourishment. And grape nut sweet meal cooks to perfection in just three minutes. That's hot grape nuts sweet meal. This program came to you from New York. This is the National Broadcasting Company. KFI Los Angeles Earl C. Anthony, in Co-