 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as Father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons. Brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. Speaking of children, the poet Charles M. Dickinson wrote, They are idols of hearts and of households. They are angels of God in disguise. The sunlight still sleeps in their tresses. His glory still gleams in their eyes. Well, it seems like a pretty good bet that Mr. Dickinson never spent any appreciable time in Springfield, especially in a certain white frame house on Maple Street. If he did, it's a cinch that he never stayed for dinner, where the conversation generally goes something like this. But, Dad, I won't get my allowance until Monday, and I've only got 20 cents. That's very interesting. Kathy, stop playing with your mashed potatoes. Yes, Daddy. It isn't as if I needed a whole lot. Heck, what's 50 cents? Well, lately I've heard it referred to as a 1950 nickel. That was a joke, Margaret. 50 cents, 1950 nickel, you see. I heard you, Jim. Oh, well, I just thought, Bud, will you please pass the bread? Gosh, if you needed 50 cents and I had 50 cents, you know I'd be only too glad to lend it to you. Well, that's very noble of you. You mean I can have it? No. That's wonderful gravy, Margaret. Well, thank you, dear. Would you mind passing it, Betty, please? Here you are, Father. Thank you. Say, Mom. I was not going to lend you the 50 cents, either, Bud, so stop bothering her. I wasn't bothering her, Dad. I just thought... Jim, if Bud really needs the money... This is Thursday, Margaret. He got his allowance only three days ago. Well, how did I know she was going to be a pig? Who? Marion Swift. Believe me, it'll be a long time before I invite her in for another mall. All I said was, would you like a mall and you know what she ordered? A triple-decker sandwich and a hot-fudge sundae. With nuts. That is one of the unfortunate things about life, Bud. All women are born hungry. Why, Jim? Especially beautiful women. I hope she gets a stomach ache. But, I'm a teacher. Kathy, if you're quite finished with that construction job, may I suggest that you put your potatoes to the use for which they were intended? Huh? Eat your dinner. Oh. Oh, what? Okay. Go ahead, dear. Say Betty. Don't ask me for any money. I'm broke. She wouldn't even give any to Billy Smith. Kathy. Wait a minute. You mean Billy Smith asked you for money? Well, he said he needed 80 cents in a hurry. Margaret, what's gotten into these kids anyway? Imagine a boy asking a girl for money. Well, they've been friends for such a long time. It's outrageous. That's what it is. Just plain outrageous. I think it is, too. Creepers. It's only been three days since I borrowed it from him. What were you saying, Jim? I, uh, I was just, uh... How are you getting along in school these days, Kathy? Oh, pretty good. How about 30 cents? That isn't much. Bud, please. I was talking to your sister. What were you saying about school, Kathy? I wasn't saying anything. Well, say something. About what? About anything. Okay. I didn't win the spelling contest today. Well, that's nice. Was there anything else you didn't win? Well, how did I know there wasn't any K in civics? I don't even know what civics are. You don't know what civics is. That's what I said. You said you don't know what civics are. Well, I don't. Kathy, the point Betty is trying to make is that civics is in the singular, not the plural. They are? Not they are. They is. I mean, it is. What is? Civics is. Kathy, civics is a noun. There's just one, one civics, like, uh, yonkers. There's only one yonkers. What are they? Yonkers is a town. It's a place where people live. Why? Because they... Kathleen, eat your dinner. But you didn't tell him... I said, eat your dinner. Jim, I think you're being very unreasonable. Why don't you tell Kathy what she wants to know? I did tell her. I told her civics was a singular noun. What more is there to tell? You can tell her what civics are. Or is. Well, all right. Civics is, um, it's the, uh... Dad. It's from the Latin, uh, what do you call it? Which means citizen. And, uh, you see, Kathy, the government is divided up into certain groups and, uh, certain other groups. Dad. Now the government has a certain responsibility to the people. And the people have a certain responsibility to the government, which is the way it should be. Isn't it? Dad. But will you please keep still? I'm trying to explain civics to Kathy. Civics is that department of political science, dealing with the rights of citizenship and the duties of citizens. Which is exactly what I just finished saying. Isn't it, Betty? Word for word. Well, it meant the same thing. Maybe I don't remember the formal definition. But I certainly know the practical application of the word. And that's what Kathy's really interested in, isn't it, Kathy? It is. Take, uh, well, take Springfield, for example. We know that we have a mayor, a city assembly, and the usual city employees. Now each of these is a public servant. And his principal duty is to protect the rights and privileges of the people. That's clear, isn't it? Jim, I'm sure that Kathy doesn't care about it. Just a minute, Margaret. This is very interesting. What was that, Betty? I was just clearing my throat, Father, so I can listen better. It's high time this family took a little interest in something other than boyfriends and the price of hot fudge sundaes. But I didn't ask it out. Never mind, bud. I'm explaining about civics. And it's very interesting. Isn't it, Kathy? Oh, sure. It's up to the citizens of every community to see that their rights are protected. That's why we have elections, to keep the public servants on their toes. Now take the mayor, for example. If we think the mayor is doing a bad job, we don't vote for him again. We throw him out, put somebody else in. Betty, we'd better start clearing the table. Okay. Any time a public servant thinks he's bigger than the people, well, that's the time to watch out. Now take this new highway. What right do they have to tear down the old meeting hall for a new highway? That's what I want to know. Don't take the cake, Mom. All right, dear. I don't mind progress. But there's such a thing as sentiment, too. That building is a monument, and it holds precious memories for everyone in Springfield. But do they care? No. They're going to tear it down, build a road. And they didn't even have the decency to ask the people if that's what they wanted. Margaret. Go ahead, dear. We're listening. We've taken just about all we're going to take from that bunch of incompetence in the city hall. After the next election, they'll be outselling pencils on the street corners. And if they think, Kathy, will you please stop fidgeting? But I don't understand something. Well, I've made it perfectly clear. I know, but what are yonkers? For crying out loud, Kathy, you can trust me, can't you? You said you'd give it back to me on Monday, and this is Monday. But you don't need the quarter. I do, too. Look, Kathy, why don't you just let me pay you the interest? I want my quarter. And next Monday, I'll give you the quarter and another nickel for interest. I want my quarter. Of all the stubborn... It's Daddy. Now we'll see about... Wait a minute. Daddy! Hello, sweetheart. Here's your quarter. How about the interest? And another nickel, Mizer. Thank you, bud. Well, what's going on in here? Oh, not a thing, Dad. If he's trying to borrow money, look out for him, Kathy. He's a slick one. Oh, sure. You have to worry about her. Jim! I'll be right in, honey. There's a letter for you next to the phone. Oh, yes, I see it. Well, now, what do you suppose the mayor wants? Maybe he wants you to help him with something. Received your... impertinence. What in the name of... Margaret! Anything wrong, Dad? I've never heard of anything... Margaret! I'm coming, Jim. Margaret! This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Just a moment, dear. Betty! Yes, Mother? Be sure the peas don't boil over. Okay. How can you worry about peas at a time like this? I've been ordered to appear in the mayor's office tomorrow afternoon. You've been ordered? Yes, ordered. To explain the impertinence in my letter. What letter? I don't know. I didn't write any letter. Daddy. What is it, Kathy? Maybe he means my letter. You're... You mean you wrote a letter to the mayor? Well, you said he had no right to tear down the meeting hall without asking you. Oh, dear. But tell Betty to turn the light off under the peas will probably be quite a while. Okay, Mom. Kathy, why do you do things like that? Well, I just said what you said. I don't care what you said, or I said. Little girls don't write letters to the mayor. It isn't done. Why? Because he's a busy man. He's got too many other things on his mind. But you said he shouldn't build the road. I know what I said, and I still say... Jim, I'm sure you can straighten the whole thing out. Can't you? I don't know. Why does he address it to me in the first place? I didn't write the letter. Daddy. If he wants me to speak to Kathy, I'll be glad to. The way he talks, you think I wrote it. Daddy. Yes, Kathleen. Do mayors pay any attention to little girls? Of course not. They don't even have time to pay attention to big girls. That's what I thought. What do you mean? That's what you thought? Well, after I wrote the letter, I figured maybe if he found out I was only nine years old, he wouldn't pay any attention to it. So? So I signed your name. Oh, no. That was a fine speech Father made at the dinner table, though Mother did seem to have some doubts. And yet there are some things every woman loves to hear at her dinner table. For instance, best cup of coffee I ever tasted. You'd like to hear those words at your table, wouldn't you? Well, ma'am, tomorrow you can hear them. And from the world's greatest coffee expert. That's right. Because the number one expert is your husband. Of course, to the coffee trade, we're experts too. After all, more people enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand. But the expert with the final say so, he's that man of yours. And if you'll fill his cup with Maxwell House, we're mighty sure he'll say, best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. That's how sure we are. You see, we know no coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no coffee's made like Maxwell House. That famous good to the last drop flavor comes from just one thing, our recipe. A recipe demanding certain fine coffees blended just so. And only Maxwell House has that recipe. So get a pound of Maxwell House tomorrow. Serve it to your husband. If he doesn't say, best coffee ever, why just send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. Tomorrow, see how much your husband, the world's greatest coffee expert, enjoys Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. An ancient Greek named Euripides is supposed to have said, the gods visit the sins of the father upon the children. If that's what he said, Mr. Euripides had rocks in his head or else he'd never run across a family named Anderson. With them, the shoe is generally on the other foot and now, as they wait in the corridor outside the mayor's office, the shoe is definitely beginning to pinch, like this. Jim, the entire idea is completely ridiculous. It is no such thing. Making us drop everything we were doing just to come down here and sit. Margaret, if he sees me in the bosom of my family. Yes. Well, maybe you'd rather visit me in the local jail. Jim. And bring me chocolate-covered hacksaws. Jim Anderson, no one said you were going to be sent to jail. How do you know? How can anybody know until we find out what that genius put in the letter? All you have to do is explain to the mayor. Kathy! Oh. What are you doing? I was reading a comic book. Why? I was just... Never mind. Say, did you hear that, Dad? They're blasting for the new road. Boy, that was a pip, wasn't it? Yes, it was fine. Where's Betty? She's around someplace. Betty! Bud! Well, I just thought... Bud. I brought you all along to prove that I'm a man of character and substance. But if you're going to stand outside the mayor's office and scream at the top of your lungs... Did somebody call me? Dad wants you. Bud, please. Margaret, I think they allow visitors in the jail on Wednesday. Are we going in, Father? No, we're not going in. I'm beginning to think your mother was right in the first place. I'll stand a much better chance if I go in alone. What did we do? Nothing. Nobody in this family ever does anything. You can get into more trouble than any ten kids in Springfield, but it's a very strange thing. Nobody ever does anything. I went down to the end of the hall to get a drink. What's wrong with that? I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I merely said... I'm thirsty. You stay right where you are. But Betty got a drink and you didn't tell her. She couldn't. Margaret, in one more minute... I'll speak to the madir. Kathy? Betty? Bud? Bud? Bud, come back here. I just want to look out the window. I said come back here. Holy cow. All we do is sit around this old hall. How long do we have to stay here anyway? I haven't the faintest idea. Now look, you may all think that this is very funny, but it isn't. I'm in a very serious predicament. Why, Jim, as soon as you tell him that Kathy wrote the letter... He's going to ask where she picked up the ideas. Don't you understand, honey, the mayor isn't a stupid man. He knows that children don't have political opinions. And like Paris, they repeat whatever they hear. Why don't you tell him I heard it on the radio? You heard what on the radio? That he's a crook. Kathy, you didn't tell the mayor. Oh, but Daddy said... I never said he was a crook. You didn't? No, I may have said a lot of things, but I never said that he was a crook. Well, I did. Margaret. Mr. Anderson? Yes? The mayor will see you now. Thank you very much. Jim, dear, everything's going to be all right. The condemned man ate a hearty breakfast. Well, let's go. Father. Please, Betty, let's not say a word. Not even if he asks us something? Nobody's going to ask you anything. Just try to look human. This way, please. Are you sure you didn't say he was a crook? Kathy. Well, somebody did. I think. That's the trouble with this family. Too many people try to think. Your honor. Yes? James Anderson and family. Oh, come in. Come right in. Your honor. Well, this is a very pleasant surprise. I hadn't anticipated five, Anderson's. You see? Your honor. That will be all, Bill. Thank you. Yes, sir. Well, now shall we all sit down and be comfortable? Well, thank you, your honor. You're very kind. All right, children. Your honor. Your honor, my father's a wonderful man. And every time he's been arrested, it hasn't been his fault. Your honor, I've never been arrested in my entire life. My father, don't you remember the time you thought the car was stolen and the police? Well, they said you were driving a stolen car. It was my own car. It was a mistake. Well, that's what Bud said. Betty, please. I'm just trying to help. Your honor, Mr. Anderson, I received an amazing letter a few days ago. I, uh, I know, your honor. And I'd like to explain. I heard you speak some time ago at a service club luncheon, didn't I? Yes, I'm the president, your honor. But I'd like to... At that time, you struck me as being a fairly intelligent man. Uh, thank you. You see, your honor... Uh, not at all the sort of man who'd spell grafter with two T's. Grafter. Doesn't it have two T's? No, dear. Just one. Oh. Your honor, if you'll only let me explain... There'll be lots of time for explanation. First, permit me to say that this was a very remarkable letter. But I, uh... It contained some very pertinent information and a very valuable suggestion. Your honor, what I'm trying to say is... it did. Oh, yes. I've already had several talks with the city council and we are all agreed that your ideas are not only logical, but extremely helpful. Well, uh... I wouldn't go quite that far, your honor. You're going to tell him that... Kathleen, be quiet. But Daddy said, Kathleen... Gee whiz. Now, for example, what's the first point in your letter? The, uh, first point. Yes. Now, there is a very wise suggestion. Uh, your honor, about the letter... Daddy, he means the part about changing the meeting hall into a museum. Oh, that part. Well, it was merely... Outside of the miserable spelling, the atrocious punctuation, and the weirdest grammar I have ever encountered, the point was very well made. Your honor, what my husband has been trying to say... Of course, the letter was obviously written by a child. How does he know there? And I'm quite sure I know which child. Well... You see, dear, there was no need to be upset. The suggestions about the museum and the park to contain it are reflections of definitely adult thinking. Well, it was just... And so was the impertinence. But, your honor... If you think I'm a crook, say so. Don't hide behind your children's skirts. I never said you were a crook. Never. I merely said that you were incompetent. Well, uh, what I meant is... Oh, you did, did you? Well, your honor... That's what it was. He said you were incompetent. And you ought to be outselling pencils. Kathy! Now sit here, Anderson. Your honor... Tell him what you're gonna do to him next year, Daddy. Kathy, will you please... He's only a servant anyway. He doesn't stand on his toes. We're gonna fire him. Kathy, be quiet. But you said he was a servant. Kathy! And you were gonna throw him out and put somebody else in. And then you said... Want me to sit on her, Mom? A lot of people. Let's both sit on her. It's time somebody did something. She bit me. Honor, I'm very sorry about this whole thing, but, you see, we were talking at dinner the other night. I love my daddy. Kathleen. And nobody's gonna put him in jail. Even if it doesn't have a K. What doesn't have a K? Yonkers. You need to be slightly confused. Well, with my family, that's an occupational hazard. We've confused more people to the square inch than any ten families in town. But I'd still like to explain... There's only one thing I want you to explain. Why didn't you write this letter? What? You obviously had a great deal to say. Why didn't you say it to me? Well, Your Honor, I wouldn't presume to... Presume my foot. Your Honor. That's what I said, my foot. People vote for you, expect you to do a job for them, and then what do they do? Nothing. But we didn't think it was our place to... Well, whose place did you think it was? How can we do anything for you if you don't tell us what you want done? Well, you were elected on a certain platform. And I've held to it. You wanted a progressive administration, and you've had it. Yeah. We didn't want you to tear Springfield apart. Then say so. Don't tell your children. Tell us. Go ahead and tell them, Pa. All right. What do you want to know? Why don't you like the new road? I do. It's just that... Well, when I was a boy, I played on the steps of the old meeting hall. So did my father when he was a boy. You're tearing down more than just a building. You're destroying a whole page of Springfield's memory. And you suggest that we turn it into a museum instead. Is that it? Well, I thought you could move it a few blocks. There's a lot of vacant land east of the old meeting hall. And, uh, build a small park around it. Something like that. Do you have any idea of the cost? No, but the people... Do you think the people would stand still for a bond issue to finance it? I think so. After all, if it's part of Springfield tradition... All right. Then we'll do something about it. Excuse me. Bill. Yes, sir? Call the papers. I want a special press conference in my office at five o'clock. Yes, sir. Tell them it's about starting a campaign to save the old meeting hall for some of our, uh, sentimental citizens. Yes, sir. Now, is there anything else? Well, our school gets out awful late. Kathy. Your honor, do you still think I'm a crook, and a grafter? I never said that, your honor. I merely said that you were, uh... Incomplent. Kathy, when we get home, remind me... Anderson, we're here to do a job as best we know how. And it's up to you to see that we do it. Or you'll be out selling pencils. Kathleen, please. Well, Daddy said... Your honor, all I ever said... You said you'd vote me out of office, didn't you? Well, yes, but... Why don't you give me a chance? If you don't like what I'm doing, tell me. Don't let me find out about it at the polls. Then it's too late. Your honor, I merely said... We want to do our job for you in the best possible manner. But we aren't mind readers. You've got to tell us when we're off in the wrong foot. Well, if you'll just... There's only one thing wrong with you, Anderson. And it's the same thing that's wrong with most of the people in this country. What you need is a good lesson in civics. During the year ahead, every pound of coffee you buy, be sure of one thing. Be sure that you get the most in flavor for your money. And that's something the world's greatest coffee expert can help you find. Your husband. He's the expert we mean. Just serve him a cup of Maxwell House coffee. Then when he smiles and says, Best coffee I ever tasted, you'll know Maxwell House has the flavor that it's your coffee buy. Find out tomorrow. Bring home a friendly blue tin of Maxwell House coffee. Serve it to your husband. Listen to him praise that famous flavor. And then count all the truly good cups of coffee you get from each pound. At your own table, find out how much more you get for your money with Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. Time goes by as time has a habit of doing. And once again, it's the dinner hour in the white frame house on Maple Street. Considering that it's the Anderson's, things are pretty calm. Well, for the moment at any rate, like this. Let me see. Bread, butter, cream. Betty! Yes, Mother? You'd better bring in some more spoons, dear. Okay. Dinner about ready, honey? Just about. Come on, bud. Let's go upstairs and wash. You bet. Say, Dad, you don't suppose they'll put our pictures in the paper, do you? Why should they? Well, I mean, after all the mayor said about the park. But I'm perfectly happy just staying out of jail. Kathy, where on earth have you been? I was out. Why, is dinner ready? Young lady, when you know it's dinner time, why don't you stay where we can find you? But I had to go down to the corner. What for? I had to mail a letter to the president. Oh. At breakfast time, you don't have to say. You children eat your cereal right this instant. Just say. Hop along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheat meal. Just a little psychology. Yes, to get your children to eat a hot cereal, just tell them post-wheat meal is hop along Cassidy's favorite hot cereal. And they lead it too. Post-wheat meal is chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment, has a wonderful nut-like flavor, and it cooks in just three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll all agree, it's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargey in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood, and written by Ed J. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Jack Webb and Dragnet. Good listening next on NBC.