 So today we're going to talk about Where you can meet a high quality man over 40 years old now? This is a question that keeps being asked repeatedly Amongst those of you out there in the dating mating relating realm is where can I meet my quality guy? Where can I meet my mr. Right? You know in a sea of dysfunctionality How am I going to meet this person? Where am I going to meet this person? I think it's really important to identify what is high value You know a lot of times especially in the in the red pill community They will describe high value as a man who has financial success who has physical attributes In other words, he's in great physical shape. He is a leader amongst men. That's what makes a person high value Well quite frankly I think of high value in a completely different vantage point and we're going to lean into this Together so we can have a basis for understanding those what is high value? So we can know where to meet or how to meet a high value person now for those who follow my work You might also know know this as what I call a grower and a builder a grower and a builder now There's basically what I say are three types of men. There are the users There are the people that will use you those are oftentimes your people that have clinical issues, okay, they have clinical emotional health issues, okay Probably severe clinical health and emotional health issues then there are what I call the spenders people These are people that will spend time with you in other words. They want companionship. They want connection They want sex, okay, but they're incapable of going through the levels of commitment And then there are grower and builders and I roughly say the grower and builders is about 20% of the male and female population I will say that the users are about 20% and the spenders and women you're in this category too, okay? Roughly 60% are somewhat emotionally dysfunctional. So what is a high quality person high value person? Excuse me. I think first and foremost it represents. They have their act together both in their Physical world and in their emotional world their physical world might be that they can pay their bills That their life isn't in emotional chaos See if you're in your 40s You have a greater chance of finding someone in emotional chaos because roughly 75% of singles over 45 years old are divorced and whether we liken or not divorce comes with it a set of emotional Dismantling you're kind of unraveling the tapestry of a life you had with another person and In that a lot of emotional trauma could be experienced in This you know in this dynamic we call divorce No, many of you know this you're dating someone who has a contentious X Maybe they're still in the contentious divorce. Maybe they've got issues with their children Maybe their professional life is in chaos. It doesn't matter Their outside world means that they're they're they're clean in their structure of their life For the most part now, that's not gonna say that we aren't going to have Momentary things that will derail us many of you know, I lost a child. There's a picture of my son who passed away Connor Astley You know, there are always going to be circumstances where life gets in the way But it didn't take me down emotionally. It didn't take me into such a state of death Devastation so you have to examine the outside world of a person. Okay Now I just mentioned inside world what I was really talking about when I was reflecting upon my son is my inside world, you know Now I think a person who is high value. They are introspective meaning they are they know their insecurities and fears and they don't make their partner Responsible for medicating these fears and insecurities. Do you realize we have a significant population? that uses each other as therapists now I Say use in other words If there's not a mutual exchange It's one thing if you and your partner are processing something in your life, but in some cases on an unconscious level They make their partner Responsible for their well-being in other words We are suckling on the nipple here in United States of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to like me I need you to have all this so I can feel good about myself if you have known Insecurities and fears you can't make your partner Responsible for that in other words self medicating or medicating Okay, this represents what this represents the outside world But actually being in good physical condition makes you a better partner in life You know a lot of people don't take good care of their health. I hear this complaint bitually from Men and women that they don't take good care of their physical Well-being well if you can't take care of your physical well-being are you really valuing yourself You know, so it's important them to be aware that a high value person values their health Okay, in addition a high value person's actions match their words Consistently, that's not to say that we aren't going to make mistakes on our communication That is going to be a natural happen stance You might plan on calling someone that evening and you might have just got wrapped up in work Okay, there's there's gonna be those moments where it happens But if it's consistent where your actions don't match your words Then you're not really a high value human being and again, this isn't segregated by men or women This is by human being behavior Next they are very clear on the type of relationship They seek more importantly a high value person in the dating realm seeks partnership with another human being partnership you know, we we are in such an ambivalent dating environment particularly on I Believe we have somewhere near nearing a hundred million singles in the United States There's no value to partnership With the ease through our devices of hooking up Excuse me With the ease of our devices hooking up It's actually relatively easy to get companionship connection and sex without really making a commitment and I believe a Please if I'm offending anyone I apologize But I believe it's low value to only seek a casual relationship a Situationship of friends with benefits and I'm guilty of doing this. I've been guilty of being in low value state I'm gonna own it But I truly believe high value means you value partnership with another human being I think another facet of being high value is Having an agreeable Personality with boundaries an agreeable personality with boundaries, you know, I I witnessed so many Disagreeable people in relationship. In other words, they're just not they're not I mean They're they're part one or both people are just disagreeable. It's pretty much their way or the highway You know when you're in a relationship with someone What's most important that you're in alignment with each other on what you want to do and you agree with each other And if you're constantly butting heads with one another Is this really the right relationship to be with or if you're in a relationship with someone you're agreeable and they're Constantly complaining and they're they're being difficult. Well Listen, I don't consider that very high value in my book. This is my interpretation of what high value is I think another facet that is so underrated but so critically important is Having a sense of humor There I said it I believe, you know, when you look at the absurdity of Human behavior when you look at the absurdity of how how an individual How an individual can do so many absurd things in their life, you know, if you can't laugh at yourself If you don't have a sense of humor and I don't mean self-deprecating. That's not what I mean I mean just to laugh at your own foibles But also appreciating The insanity in the world we live in here in the United States we have an election coming up It is fascinating to witness these political parties act like idiots in my book And I'm equal opportunity judge your of both parties in my opinion I probably offended a few of you. I apologize if you're highly political But that's just my belief system that it's just absurd anyway You know to me a high value person Is very clear about their feelings for another human being more importantly their commitment Towards the person that they're spending regular time with and ladies if the penis is going inside the vagina the regular basis You have every right to establish What is this relationship? Where's the direction of you have every right to ask where this relationship is going if two people are having regular By the way, you can undervalue sex all you want but honestly speaking And i'm not here to be puritan here I mean if everybody is allowed to express themselves however they choose to see fit I'm not here dictating an edict That is all about you know, some sort of restrictive behavior But I will tell you The best sex is with two people Who genuinely have deep feelings for one another and more importantly they have built the roots of trust That's the best sex getting off Yeah, getting off is fine, but you can do that with your hand or a vibrator, you know If you want something deeper than value sex beyond the surface in my opinion And be clear about your feelings towards your partner Again, it was the point I was making Another facet of a high value person is they don't have a past relationship that will cause contention in their life They don't have a past relationship that will cause contention in your life and lastly They have high emotional IQ They know how to regulate their emotions and not from a stoic perspective. That's being stoic Stuffing your feelings is not regular. It's it's merely suppressing your feelings and believe me just like a volcano. It will erupt A lot of men, you know, they they will tell you particularly in the red pill community or all these alpha males that give dating advice out there You know, don't show your feelings. You know, that's weakness. That's insecurity Trust me stuffing in those feelings with those guys. It will implode Or it will manifest in disease in their life. So just be aware of that so Coming back to the question. Where can I meet a high value person? Well, first you have to become What you seek to attract it's not about where to meet this person if you in that In fact don't operate in the in the premise that I created here today And I will tell you most humans are rather delusional Everybody thinks they're the exception It's fascinating how okay, let me give you an example I I went to a speaking gig last night. It's like I shared with you a lot. It was a singles event And since I was the speaker they're talking about relationships a couple women came up to me and asked me to look at their dating profiles I think there was a half a dozen or more dating profiles that I looked at And I can't believe how they were arguing that they're I mean by the way, these were shitty profiles in my opinion or mediocre Let me reframe that wasn't they weren't so shitty. They were mediocre um And in their mediocrity, they don't realize that they're presenting themselves in a mediocre way Not in a high value way in a mediocre way And by the way ladies when you represent yourself in a mediocre way You're you have to ask yourself. Why do you keep attracting? assholes and players and men who only want sex Is because that's what you're putting out there if you want to meet a high value man then set yourself apart It's and if you're going to use online dating as a platform As an example then set yourself apart from everyone else by curating a quality representation of yourself You know, the other thing is when it comes to meeting a high value person Um The fact is this I shared with you last night. I went to an organic event where you can meet people By the way, there were 50 people there. I want to say 35 30 women 20 men 35 women 18 men something like that. So I mean for the guys It was a great opportunity because there were more women But I hear men complain where to meet women will go to where women are Actually, it was probably 30 to 20. So it was I mean it was a little bit more the there were more women than men But at the end of the day You have to put yourself in environments to be seen by a high value person So there's an app. You can guys all go to it on your phone or on your laptop. It's called event bright or is it Is it event bright? Yeah event bright. Okay, b r i t e There are dozens of of things happening in your community That you can start connecting with like-minded people. I actually looked it up. I was like signing up to things. I'm going to a uh What is it a sound bath? Uh, what kind of sound bath was it? Oh A cacao cacao is a chocolate. It's a cacao sound bath No, probably me. I mean my opinion there's going to be a lot of women there So why not go if you're a man go where all the women are and where the women you go to where men are And you're going to go. Where is that? Well, certainly golf courses is one place where there are men But I would say personal development workshops believe it or not are Like very attractive to men because they're trying to improve themselves. You know, whether it's tony robbins or lewis house The has a workshop coming up. That's where there's a lot of people But certainly I invite you to become what you want to attract So I want you to think about this. You're looking for a needle in the haystack. Well, guess what? He's looking for a needle in the haystack too. So do you really represent yourself? Do you really represent yourself as a high value person? You might lodge you might think of it From a from an egoic place But are you really showing up as a high value person because if you want to attract a high value person You have to show up as one and in addition When you show up as a high value person, whether you're a man or woman You become a magnetic attractor for what you want And I recognize you have to break some eggs or kiss some frogs But the end of day when you get so attuned to who you are and this is what I do in my private coaching I teach discernment. By the way, there's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a Coaches right for you discernment helps fine tune your intuition. I can't tell you how many of my clients I get calls each week. Jonathan. I met a great guy. Jonathan. I met a great guy. Jonathan. I met a great guy and they know the difference They know the difference Oh, one other thought came to my mind Actually, I mentioned this at the speaking gig. I forgot to mention this earlier in this conversation where to meet high value people Is dancing, you know, we need to go. Do you realize throughout history? Dance and sell up dance song and celebration was how people communed with each other, you know before electricity Before electricity they celebrated with each other Through song and dance I invite you organically to put yourself out there in environments where you can go dancing You can walk up to a guy and say would you like to dance? I'm going to make it a point to do free dance, which is in Santa Monica, Venice area free dance is just kind of free flowing kind of dance Dancing is a great way because it allows you to connect with your body your heart your soul. You're free And it's an easy way to interact with people. Do you want it? Would you like to dance this next song? Ladies can ask men men can ask women It's not we don't have to go to this This outrageous hierarchy that men are supposed to be the confident ones and they're supposed to do all the asking Because they need to be chivalrous and they need to be a man Look at what matters most Is not, you know, whether the guy pays for the first date or all that Supposed manly stuff what matters most is can he show up authentic transparent vulnerable Can he show up being crystal clear as to what he wants in a relationship and not waste your time? because he's only in it to satisfy his broken wounded side instead of his Smart strong confidence self Both men and women operating from that high value place is this thinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is post a comment below. I do my best to read all of them in the first 24 hours As always if you found value in this content, please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well all right If you know my format, it's time to ask questions if you have a question Write a question then post the question there after Or you can purchase a super sticker super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box while only while we're live That doll uh that all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son connor asley That again is a picture of him right there. It's my favorite picture of him In his honor, we donate to causes like the hoffman process insight institute and certainly Scholarships towards my coaching as well. So again our goal tonight is 50 Dollars so hit that little dollar sign. We would appreciate the love tonight All right, so let's see what kind of question. Okay, so coming back to this singles event and again if you have a question post it You know, it's interesting Folks if you've never done public speaking It could be a little unnerving. Okay I mean fortunately I've done enough public speaking events that I feel very confident But I do remember those first few times earlier in my life where I had to get up in front of a group of people And I was scared shitless What I realized last night is that Just like dating It's scary to put yourself out there to be vulnerable whether dating is like giving a giving a public speech. It is scary Doing the inner work that I've invited you all to do I constantly invite you all to do inner work for example I always recommend this book the hoffman process the hoffman process to heal childhood wounds and adult traumas You know, my ideal client Is a person who's done the inner work who's done the inner work Because if you've done the inner work to become a high value person All you need is a fine-tuning and a tweaking. I have a coach in my life that fine tunes and tweaks me And that's my invitation for y'all is to do the work And again when you need fine-tuning or tweaking come to me my job is to help you To amplify your intuition and there's a link below again. Oh, by the way, if anyone wants to join the hot seat tonight That means you can be on with me live to ask questions. I just posted the link Hey, one of our facebook group members. We have a group called midlife love mastery This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis through a facebook page There's a link below to join midlife love mastery. One of our members writes Can you go deeper about expressing your feelings or telling a man about your feelings? well I'm not sure I understand this question in this how how can you can you go deeper? About expressing your feelings or telling it. Well, yes, you can absolutely go deeper. That is something I think it's a prerequisite to a healthy happy relationship It's to go deeper. So yes, the answer is you can absolutely go deeper Now you can only go as deep as the capacity of someone who can receive Not everybody can receive but this is something you can build together. Okay All right, if you have a question write the word question by the way this little ticker box goes by pretty fast So if you wrote something I might have missed it if you wrote something. Oh, here's julie wrote Question before the penis goes in the vagina does the man have to commit or is it okay if you are just seeing each other? You know Okay, well, here's the question if you are having regular sex with someone Okay, folks. I I'm afraid of cooties Does everyone remember the word cooties your byproduct of the 70s or 70s you would know the word cooties I'm afraid of cooties. I believe in monogamy and exclusivity If I'm gonna have regular sex with someone that's a prerequisite for me So in the context of a monogamy and exclusivity, it's a prerequisite And if someone won't adhere to that prerequisite then I won't give them my body And I don't want their body if they're sleeping with other people. So yeah Should you can you should at least have agreement to monogamy and exclusivity at the very least um You know, I met a woman a couple years ago She was seeing somebody He said he never discussed exclusivity And and he never discussed monogamy He assumed it that they because they were seeing each other so frequently Well, she met another man and she started a date. She broke up with this guy I mean, you know, she wouldn't have dated this She said I wouldn't have dated anyone else if he didn't make it exclusive. So I just kept my options open So anyway, that's my feeling on that. Okay Oh margaret wants to let us know dancing is great. My preference is for partner dancing. I agree Okay, let's keep going Beach lover just wrote they said jonathan has the air of a movie star and we knew him when Oh, well, who said that? I don't know who said that but oh, well, I I don't I don't know if I guess that's a compliment. I guess I'll take that as a compliment Uh jane spitfire is in the house Question there are differing types of men nerd bad boy prince charming professor widower friendzone guy Can any of these be high value? I think a nerd can be high value just because someone is intellectual I think that that's a I mean again, they they They embody all of what I shared in the beginning of this broadcast. Yeah bad boy probably not bad boy is probably indicative of A person that is selfish prince charming prince charming doesn't exist ladies so Professor that's kind of along the lines of nerd widower absolutely friendzone guy If if you put someone in the friendzone, they could be high value That's just your choice that you put them in the friendzone And if they put you in the friendzone that was their choice too. Okay Um em says your profile sounds high maintenance You know, I understand if you're talking about uh when I shared publicly my dating profile I can recognize how some people would consider that high maintenance. I I can see that But again, I'm looking for the top of the tree I'm not looking I'm not looking for the bottom of the tree. That's just my choice You know, if if you're referring it to me I I believe if you if you I I have a stat and by the way I want you everybody to think about this statement your profile's high maintenance So I roughly wrote in three thousand characters what I'm looking for there's up to four thousand characters You can write so three thousand characters I mean roughly it takes about a minute and a half to read my dating profile minute a half to two minutes If a life can be summed up in one to two minutes That's a pathetic life. Okay. I am not my whole life is beyond One to two minutes. I mean the fact is is why aren't more people Expressing themselves With a little bit more flair a little bit more consciousness a little bit more emphasis On what's important instead of the superficiality. I like this and I like that and I'm blah blah blah blah blah So if that's high maintenance, I'm laughing because The totality of a person cannot be summed up in one or two minutes It's a tiny sliver of a snapshot. That's all I did was a tiny sliver of a snapshot All right, let's keep going here See julie agrees. Thank you Okay, kathy just writes in I believe she says I have rheumatoid are a rheumatoid Fuck I can't say it rheumatoid Arthritis it's not too bad now. I just started talking to someone. When should I tell them? Well That's a good question So I don't know of the different medications that can actually suppress um The pain on that. Um, I I suspect that we're going to have advancements in medicine over the years I believe Be careful. I'm a little worried kathy because some people and I'm not suggesting of this of you. Okay, but some people wear their their their illness their their Their ailments as a badge of honor. Okay Well, if you can't love me with this then I'm not going to bother to spend time with you Now at the same time if this is a true health concern that actually directly affects a relationship Then you must be transparent about it and I would suggest if two people begin catching feelings for one another You may want to share this Okay, if it's material to the relationship the sooner you discuss it the better Um, but just remember very little trust is built From the beginning but again and you have to be willing if you wait a little while to build trust and share it That might be a reason for them to end the relationship. You have to be willing to accept that too Being high value means you're not going to let it affect you one way or the other If a person doesn't feel comfortable with that And by the way, if the roles were reversed you have to ask yourself Would you feel the same? That's just my invitation for you. But thank you for that question. I appreciate it appreciate it I don't know how to pronounce your name P K E U L What kind of girls did you meet at the mixer? Did you meet anybody interesting? Did any girls ask you out? So I had some unique experiences while I was there um And to the extent that there was it was slightly a younger demographic most everybody was about Uh 10 to 15 years younger than me and I'm not interested in anyone 15 years younger than me or 13 years younger than me. I just feel like I want someone who's my contemporary To the extent that there was some interest from people. Yes, um to that extent I I got that sense that were there was some interest from people I also recognized that um you know It when you're in that kind of environment like I was in that environment I was in kind of a work mode environment even though there was a social gathering of that I was maintaining a boundary for myself and not getting I wasn't there I mean, I might I wasn't there to meet anyone. I was there to be Uh a host and to be a speaker. So from that perspective, I did establish them a boundary for myself So I kept some distance from that actually happening. I let's just put you this way I wasn't in like pickup mode or anything like that. I'm saying that tongue in cheek So anyone takes that out of context, but thank you for asking that question. I really appreciate it Um pump pump pump pump pump Rachel says I love your videos. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate that um Julie says what is stonewalling great question What stonewalling is is basically when usually It centers around when there's conflict in the relationship and you're avoiding dressing addressing the conflict Or you're avoiding dressing an issue within the relationship. You are stonewalling. That's the effective meaning of stonewalling is you're avoiding Discussing the more difficult when there's a difficult circumstance in a relationship My mother was a quintessential stonewaller Beach lover is in the house Question do you find that women who choose you have actually read through your profile? Do you ask if they haven't do you use it as a deal breaker? You know, that's an interesting I had I had a woman reach out to me on match.com and and I And I was attracted to her but I felt like there might have been I kind of wondered did she really read my profile So I I sent her a very long message You know, I I invited her to read my profile in its entirety and ask her if there was any alignment to her And what's fascinating she never responded back So it kind of it kind of affirmed that I didn't think she was really interested in me okay um It was maybe she just interested in a free meal. I don't know that's being judgmental on my part I'm just kidding. Uh, but yeah to me. It's rather important that they read it um So yeah, thank you for that question. I appreciate it And alexa says stonewalling is refusing to communicate basically what I said there Okay Jane Spitfire If you and the man have shared values and hobbies does this make him high value man? Well, again, high value also represents actions matching words high value means you can effectively communicate your feelings in a way that's seen heard and understood You know how to regulate your emotions your feelings your did I say actions matching words more importantly I think high value in the dating context are people that are very serious about partnership So just because you share values and hobbies doesn't necessarily make you high value at least in the context of this video Maria says why do you think a lot of dating sites only let you write a short bio? um Let's differentiate between a dating site like a match.com or an ok cupid versus a dating app Match.com allows you to write 400 4000 characters. So uh, that particular site Um, that particular site has the capacity to um Write a lot but hinge and and bumble do not why? Because here's the deal about dating apps most of you don't realize that the original dating app was I believe grinder That was uh for people of same sex to basically hook up that was the original intent You happen to be out at a nightclub on a Friday night You did a search of one mile and you've looked at people that was interested and you basically hooked up That was the original intent. It was never intended to be utilized in the format now As and by the way is still hooking up to some degree But it was never intended to be utilized to the robustness that like a match.com site has so I hope that answers your question By the way, who wants to join the hot seat tonight? um By the way, jane spitfire wants to let uh, that person know that morgan tea And herbs will help with them arthritis. That's awesome Let's keep going here So sherry lin comes back and says, where do we meet? Well, I've already discussed this. Okay It's not like people. Here's the deal folks The question isn't how to meet or where to meet The question is how can I be seen by a high value man? That's the question. Can someone write that in the chat box? How can I be seen by a high value man god universe spirit? I'm inviting in the following I want this question answered for myself and I invite you to give me the downloads At any appropriate time and the question is how can I meet a high value person that I can explore? A juicy delicious healthy happy relationship. I want god universe spirit. I want you to download the answer for me How can I meet? How can I meet how can I be seen? By that high value person that is interested in me god universe spirit. I invite that in That's the question. How can I be seen? by a high value person Rachel Is it judgmental to judge someone who has tattoos and is into their nails? I like their face, but they are artistic. Should I look for other things and how do I get past the tattoos? So It's only judgmental if you judge the person, you know, it's only judgmental if you by the way, what if you judge the person as being bad Then you're judgmental Okay, stop it. Okay As far as being attracted to someone who is has tattoos and such I can understand why that may not be attractive because if you don't have tattoos then there's an element of what's called Me not me me not me me not me someone put that in the chat box me not me I Am no tattoos. I thought about getting one with Connor to get salty but You know something tiny maybe on my wrist and nobody would notice it kind of thing but If someone had a sleeve on their arm, that's not like me and because it's not me I I know personally I'm not attracted to it doesn't mean that there there's anything wrong with it. That's just not me So we often in the dating realm are looking for me not me How is someone like me and how is someone not like me? I don't have to judge Why they did it that's on that's on me if I judge them. I'm just like, oh, that's not me. That's okay So margaret wrote that down me not me me not me Julie freckler says I enjoy your videos while having my morning coffee. Well, I'm flattered. Thank you so much um I value look at maybe your tone presentation friendliness levels and where to meet at exactly Okay, sally is in the house Uh, you seem quite away into your spiritual journey jonathan. How long ago did you get into that and how do you feel? It's working for you. I started my spiritual awakening in 2022 Okay, this is going to take me a while and by the way, feel free to ask personal questions along the way After going through a divorce turning 40 and going through a divorce in 2005 um I was a train wreck. I was an absolute train wreck in my life And life wasn't working for me I'd actually reached a point where I went to bed wishing I didn't wake up and to this was around 2008 Uh, the stock market crash wiped me out I'd lost my high end corporate paying job and I always went through a divorce. Okay and I was at the pit of dis I was in the pit of despair And right around that time the movie the secret came out and I watched it and I go this resonated with me I began listening to wane dire abraham hicks joe dispensa to name a few The movie what the bleep came out can someone write what the bleep? I love that movie with all the scientists and physicists in there talking about Personal development from a scientific perspective. I began listening to tony robbins Oh my god I began listening to tony robbins I had cds that were like that were 15 years old Unopened in a box and I started listening to I listened to it with my kids when I Go visit them I would we would listen to tony robbins cds And then little by little as I began doing this work of coaching and I originally started as a dating and relationship coach Just helping women improve their online dating profiles. That's how I got started 15 years ago was helping women improve their online dating profiles But here's where the story gets interesting You know, I went on I went on date after date after date after date and what seemed like Hundreds if not thousands that I'm just kidding. I realized the common denominator. I was the problem In about 2011 I met a woman who happened to be a therapist and we began a relationship together Well, and I didn't realize in this relationship. She was reparenting me And what I mean to say is I was learning to love myself in this process And I was getting a lot of free therapy along the way and and then she gifted me for my birthday the hofman process in 2017 no 2017 yeah, um, then I did insight in 2019 I got my neuro linguistic programming certificate. I got a reiki certificate um But I would say also my my coaching began getting more personal development oriented right around the time of 2017 2018 In addition since 2014 I began doing Spiritual camps With groups of people they were designed It's like group therapy meets pajama party meets cocktail party and I began doing a deeper dive into healing Or really being able to learn how to express my emotions and feelings in a safe container So coming back to your question. I've been at it for a decade decade and a half I'm constantly peeling the onion. I I think it takes a lifetime to master I mean didn't buddha sit under a tree for 30 years. I'm exaggerating To master enlightenment So that just gives you a cliff note version of what happened with me Thank you so much for asking that question. I hope I answered and I hope it helped Let's keep going here Okay, if you have a question if you have a personal question write the word personal question I'm more than happy to share Part of my journey. I feel like I'm a role model in that And I say role model. I'm just here to share what I've learned and pass it on a pay it forward type of role model Do you only use the dating apps where you can write a long buyer or do you use apps like bumble with short bios? Okay, the app the okay. I am currently on bumble hinge match.com and millionaire match I just happen to like millionaire match because People that have good jobs tend to be on that site and I just like somebody who can pay their bills. So So those are the sites bumble hinge match.com millionaire match Kathy wants to know are these recorded and can we watch on midlife love mastery group? Yes, you can. Uh, usually these are recorded and placed in both areas Okay, julie writes If a guy smokes too much weed out Wait, if a guy smokes too much weed should this be a deal breaker? You know, that's a personal question like I would say no but I'm and I'm being tongue-in-cheek because And you know, I'm being tongue-in-cheek, but who am I to tell you what to do? You know, you got to decide that for yourself You know, what is too much, you know, what is how is it affecting your relationship? Those are the questions you should be asking. I'm inviting you to ask yourself. How is this affecting our relationship? But that's something you can only ask answer for yourself. Thank you so much for that question I wonder how long is healthy to get over an x. I am personally feel a little intimidated when women Ask me out as a man. I'm just wondering should the man make the first approach to ask women out. Um I I'm first off I believe a woman can ask a man out a man can ask a woman out If you're not in a good place Then you shouldn't be putting yourself out there number one If you're not over an x then you shouldn't be putting yourself out there But when you feel healed and complete put yourself out there if a woman asks you out great And if I'm if uh, if you want to choose to ask someone out great too, you you guess what? Rodney danger field once said I think I'm going to become bi People ask why and he goes it doubles my chances of getting laid The point is by the way, we improve our odds when women make effort men make effort. We just double the odds So that's how I feel about that power of cheese in the house Question have you ever considered doing cold therapy retreat with wim Hof? You know I'm a pussy I'm not I mean I am I'm gonna own it look. I'm not louis howe or or you know Louis howe and Matthew Hussy get together and they go jump in the pool and do all that look at I'm I'm older than these guys I've done my share of shit over the years. Um, I don't feel the need to do that I'm am I curious to like I know tony robbins jumps in an ice cold plunge and I've tried it before I've I've gone in the shower ice cold but I'm at a point in my life where I I beat my body up enough. I don't want to beat it up anymore That's how I and I'm not suggesting that that's harmful to your body. I'm just I don't want to do it You know, but thank you for asking and does it work? I have no effing clue I can see the benefits. See I believe in Looking at a variety of different modalities and finding what works for you Jetty says How long should you date a man after his divorce? I don't want to be his rebound you know I I I I believe Depending on the contentiousness of the divorce depending on the circumstances It takes a person a good depending on the length of the marriage too It takes a good two years and probably two transition relationships For a person to get a sense of who they are this is not this is not a statement of fact But usually two years and they've usually hopefully have had two transition relationships So the question is do you want to be the rebound? Then there there must be a less if you become a rebound to someone There's a lesson there for you to learn as well Yeah If you don't choose someone who's clean and I don't mean you know wash their undies Then you have to ask why did I choose that person? How long should a man wait to get into a serious relationship after is to oh the same one sorry um again, I I um, sorry What is a high value woman basically everything I said in the first 15 minutes of this broadcast Is exactly men and women alike high value is is is no different from one to the other Okay, this isn't based on gender. This is based on of being of good Really being a good human being that's to me The essence of what I shared earlier, okay Margaret gg tells margaret Millionaire matches were worth it. I could have been on there for a year for all the money Spent on junk sites. Okay great testimonial there Cruel says when are you doing another speaking event like a mixer? I hope I'm hoping in march In the culver city los angeles area. That's where I'm hoping to do it next I I'm going to do a little different format It's going to be a speaking gig for two hours than a single mixer act afterwards Most likely it'll be more women than men just because my audience happens to be women But I hope men show up as well and we'll do some exercises to build That muscle of talking to people will work on that as well. So thank you for asking Are you in los angeles? Okay, we've already asked that question Okay, rose says improving my odds by dropping a few pounds and hanging out in high end areas where men Of means are and even then I know the odds to find a gorgeous not rich to find a gorgeous not rich There's a difference are slim You know, I guess it all you know, you can act like that you can act like e or There's no good men They're all users, you know, there's no good men or you can be tigger It's raining great men. It's raining great men. It's raining great men If you begin, you know, what you put your energy towards is what you'll attract. So begin to um embody See a high value person also embodies what they want to attract and they also Project that out there. In other words, if you want to become a needle in the haystack You know become the needle first and foremost and radiate become an electromagnet Karen says I love listening to you. Thank you so much. I appreciate that Um bum bum bum bum bum Power of cheese says I do cold showers at the end of a regular shower. It's awesome. I tried that I mean, I I'm you know, maybe I'll go back to doing it. I just I mean, yeah, it feels great, but I don't know if it's like this amazing. Oh my god, I'm gonna live 20 years longer I'm just grateful that my dad is 98 and my mother was 88 before she passed away. So please god, I hope my genes are like theirs Aquarius says bunch of players online. So ladies be extra careful By the way, there's just as many women who are fucked up as well But yes, that is a true statement Much better to meet someone in person. But then again, if you don't go out, you're not going to meet anyone Again, oh jade brings up a good point There is this in this day high value means beautiful good-looking big money good career house Not very much ethical characteristics Exactly a lot of the garbage narrative out there is selling a narrative that I can't stand. So yes, I agree with that All right, if we don't have any questions come up. I know you guys are talking about cold showers Erica says Preach it Jonathan. It's definitely raining great men All right I'll take these last two questions. We're gonna wrap up for the night. Why do few men move a girl? Wait, why do a few men move a girl in on the third date? I have a man friend who did that and married her eight months later Sometimes you just know, I mean like Like by the way, but you're talking about the broken clock. I mean it happens so infrequently Why do why do most people never get a second date? Maybe that's a question to ask Why do most people never get a second date cruells back in the house? What is the perfect looking girl for you? What kind of girls are you attracted to personally? I like red heads and there aren't a lot of red heads around be careful Ha ha You know what? I've always had a thing for red heads. Interestingly enough. I mean I but I just I happened because I had a big crush on Stephanie powers from heart to heart But I also had a crush on grace kelly. Oh my god Stunningly beautiful and then I've had a crush on linda carter. Oh my god I mean, I just had the biggest crush on her but then I had a crush on Uh, you know, I've got a crush on let me see. Um I mean, I had I think jacklyn smith is one of the most beautiful women I'd say lately. I have more of a crush on kate beckonsdale. I mean, I have a big crush on her um Those are female actresses, but actually I mean I I've always I've dated my my wife was a blonde My Second most significant relationship was auburn hair. My last relationship was dark brown hair. Um, I'm you know, I So from that perspective, um But yeah, I've always had a crush on red heads. I I think there's just something and by the way I dated a red head and we used to play connect the dots with her freckles I I think it's just you know, I I like them, you know, I like a person with a good heart I'm attracted most to people who do personal development self-help spiritual work Somebody appreciates my mission in life someone who can get on board with my mission someone who has a connection with their divinity That's most important someone who values health and and and is aligned with the things I do if they're a jock type of person I probably won't get along with them. I like an introspective person. Um, I love an introspective person I love going down rabbit hole conversations Um, so those are just some of the things I like um bump bump um Why do most women not get a second date for the same reason most men don't get a second date? They're just not into each other. That's the main reason why You know, most people show up most people have terrible communication skills They have terrible flirting skills, you know, most people are poor at that By the way, we we gave us a five dollar super sticker. That means we only have 45 dollars left for our goal tonight How about giving me some love before we wrap up in the next few minutes by? Um by uh purchasing a super sticker super chat Howard she says my first crush was on bruce lee I vowed to marry him one day when I got older than someone told me that he was dead You know, my ex-wife was in love with harrison for that was her dream guide This would have been back. I met her in the 90s. So um, he was coming off of all of his powerful movies in the 80s So so harrison ford was her crush Jane spitfire said go to a military base or a police station. That's actually an interesting place to go I would concur with that um All right, we we If a man told you he didn't want to be with you will he have will he have a change of heart? I mean I mean, I take people on face value if they're not that india then move on Okay, it doesn't matter if it bit by the way he can have the question is why do you care if he has a change of heart If he doesn't value you now It's rare that they're going to value you later. Okay Uh sandi says my sister-in-law went to high school with harrison ford and de moine illinois Um desplanes illinois. Excuse me. Uh pretty cool. Yeah, that is cool I'm trying to think of who's one of the most famous people I know one of my One of my dear social acquaintance friends is terry nun from the rock band berlin Her and her husband are part of a community of friends. I have I mean she's someone famous. Who else do I know? I've met tons of famous people in my life But that's probably the closest Um Beautiful human being she is. I mean amazing voice but more importantly. She is just such a class act Beautiful human being she's such a giver and actually it was her mother that began this the social community that I'm involved in My what I call my spiritual community. So yeah, I'm very blessed to know that person Um bum bum bum bum So we wants to say he gave me $16,000 for a down payment for a car. He said he cared but doesn't want to be with me I mean, I don't know how to respond to that, you know He cares about you by the way great to have a benefactor in your life Good for you, but I wouldn't hold hope if he says i'm not that into you crew says Where can you do spiritual journeys in la? Um, you know, unfortunately, I can't say that publicly. Um I would start doing let check out the meet-up groups that are associated with Cannabis is a great place because cannabis is legal here in united in california So start looking at cannabis spiritual journeys and within those people see if there's um, there's a connection to more of the Psychedelic journeys that are out there, but I would start with cannabis and look around in your area Um Sherry wants to tell we we do not take it personally next. Yeah, you got a benefactors But I wouldn't count on him for anything else Is ayahuasca legal? It certainly is in south american countries. Um, I think in oregon now for medicinal purposes They're starting to use psychedelic therapy in oregon and hopefully in california that will change in the next couple years Hey says jonathan, why would a guy say he isn't romantically attracted to you yet calls? Meet his girlfriend to his friends. We're engaged three years ago and been friends for 25 years. Is he definitely avoidant? Well, does the penis go inside the vagina on a regular basis because if a guy Isn't romantically attracted to you're you guys having sex? Like to me if you guys are having sex then have deeper conversations of where the fuck is this relationship going Most likely he is an avoidant though. You are correct most likely All right, you know what folks I really appreciate an opportunity to share where I we talk about where to meet high quality high value men and women It's not about where you can be in and it's how you become a high value person and eventually asking yourself How can I be seen by that high value person? Ask your Spirit guides ask your guardian angels ask god universe spirit to answer that question for you Because it's more important that you become the needle in the haystack and then become the electromagnet that attracts in your watermark Is this I hope this is a value with you? Please post a comment below I'd like to hear your thoughts if this was a value to hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and check out all the links to schedule a discovery call with me to see if Working with the coach is right for you my group called midlife love mastery Follow me on instagram and all that good stuff and I'm going to wrap up this video Is I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jonathan barrick of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives Thanks a bunch. I want to say good night to q and sally and Jennifer and julie and joy and elizabeth and beach lover and margaret and power of chi And sherry and aquarius and we we And jane and I don't know how to pronounce eskimo lard a eskimo. I gotta can't pronounce it I'm just a terrible at names All right, everyone big hugs have a fantastic evening wishing you well. Bye