 All right, well let's talk about modesty more than a change of clothes. My great-grandmother was a Victorian lady. She was born shortly after the Civil War, and she married, she had children before the end of the 19th century, and her name was Alice Norton Nguyen, W-I-N-N-E. My middle name is Alice, I was named after her. I have inherited some of her furniture. Now, of course, it's antique, it's Victorian. I have a small portrait of her, all dressed up in her Victorian outfit. The high collar, the huge puffy sleeves, the ankle-length dress, the big bustle, and I know if it was summertime, she was burning up. I have a picture of her with my mother, my grandmother, and then my great-grandmother, and I was a baby, I was six months old, and she died shortly after that. Now, I only knew her through my mother and my grandmother I remember my mother saying that her grandmother was so kind to the children, and that she would play with them, and I don't know that my grandchildren would always say that about me, but I hope that's what they remember. One of the big things they remember about me. Alice was a Christian, and she was memorizing scripture well into her 80s. I like to think that she prayed for my salvation. I suspect she probably did. I don't know what was in her heart, what was in her thinking when she was all dressed up in her amazing outfit, but I'm confident that she would be appalled at the styles today. Whereas great-grandmother Alice was covered from her neck to her toes, some of the ladies of our time are practically naked. They might as well be naked. Now, when Kent Keller and I wrote our modesty book, as I said, we originally entitled it a gold ring and a pig's snout. In Proverbs 11 verse 22, it says, as a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion, or you could say, moral perception. So for this morning, I want to define biblical modesty as how we defined it in our book and give you a definition of immodesty. I want to go through several principles on what the Bible teaches about modesty and then give you some practical tips on how not to look like a beautiful gold ring all dressed up outwardly to go to a party, but in your heart, you look to God like you're an ugly pig. So let me define modesty. Modesty is an inner attitude of your heart. The heart is just who you are on the inside, it's what you're thinking, it's what you desire, it's what your motives are. So an inner attitude of the heart motivated by a love for God that seeks his glory through purity and humility. It often reveals itself in words, actions, expressions, and our clothing. Now immodesty, on the other hand, is an attitude of the heart that expresses itself with inappropriate words, actions, expressions, and or clothes that are flirtatious, manipulative, revealing, or suggestive of sensuality or pride. So let's go through several biblical principles of what does the Bible teach us about modesty. Well, point A, God created men and women to be different. Genesis two, verse 18, and then 21 through 25, says then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a hope or suitable for him. And then down in verse 21, so the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept. Then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man, now Adam was very excited about this. When he woke up, you imagine, the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Now, Adam was ecstatic when he saw Eve and in his innocence and having never sinned, he, even though I'm sure Adam desired his wife sexually, he only had pure thoughts towards her and her pure thoughts towards him. Well, point B, along came sin and everything became tainted by sin. Not only for Adam and Eve, but for all of their children and we are Adam and Eve's children too. That includes us. Genesis three, verse seven. Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They were ashamed. They knew they had sinned. They were trying to cover themselves. Well, when sin entered the picture, so did sexual lust, vanity, sensuality, immorality and all kinds of associated sins. In first Corinthians nine, I mean six, verses nine and 10, Paul gives a list of sins. He says, or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? The list that I'm gonna give here, if this describes you or someone you know and you're living that kind of lifestyle, don't kid yourself and think that you really are a Christian. He said, do not be deceived. Neither fornicators. Fornicators are single people committing sex, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And my, before I was saved, half of that list perfectly described me and my life. And then he says, he's writing to believers here, and he says, and such were some of you. You're not that way anymore, but you were washed, you were sanctified, meaning made holy, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of our God. And I remember as a brand new baby believer when I read the Bible for the first time and I came across this verse. And just what joy filled my soul because of what God had done for me. Now point D, because God is holy, he has to punish people for their sins. And it's either one way or the other. Basically there's two ways, but he has to act on his holiness. That's how he is, that's his character. Either people take their own punishment for their sin and when they die they'll be punished in hell for all of eternity. Or the second way is the Lord Jesus Christ took the punishment on himself that we deserve. In 2 Corinthians 521 it says he, talking about God made him, talking about Christ who knew no sin, he was sinless, to become sin on our behalf. So that we might become the righteousness of God in him. So it's the substitutionary atonement. The father poured his wrath out on the son when he was on the cross punishing him for our sins. The agony that he endured, the physical agony was torture. He was tortured to death, but it was the agony of bearing our sins in his body on the cross that what was really, truly going on on the cross. Now God, when he saves us, he cleanses us from past sin, present sin, as well as future sins. He gives us a new heart that desires him, that wants to please him, that loves him. He convicts us of our sin. And the Holy Spirit dwells us and he convicts us concerning sin and righteousness. And God is the one who supernaturally grants us repentance and faith. This is a miracle. It's a miracle every time God saves someone. It draws them to himself, shows them their sin, they're grieving over it, they're mourning over it, and then they turn to God and he grants them faith and repentance. It's the miracle of God's grace and benevolence. This work of God in our salvation is a hundred percent work of God. First Timothy three versus four through seven, I'm sorry, Tyus three. I knew that didn't sound right. It says, but when the kindness of God our savior, God our savior is our Lord Jesus Christ and his love for mankind appeared, he saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness. We don't earn our salvation or deserve it, but according to his mercy by the washing of regeneration, cleansing you of your sin, giving you that new heart and renewing by the Holy Spirit whom he poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our savior. So that being justified by his grace, we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. So because God is holy, he has to punish sin and immodesty is sin. It's one of those sins. And then point E, because men and women are different and boy are they different, they react to temptation differently. For example, a man can be instantly tempted to think a lustful thought when he sees a woman dressed immodestly or acting in a sensual manner. Now I wanna read you an illustration that I wrote for this modesty book and talking about this issue of the almost instant reaction that men can have. I said, can you think of someone who was cruel to you? Perhaps another kid at school made fun of you in front of others and everyone laughed. Perhaps he pushed you or tried to trip you up. Maybe he grabbed your books, ran down the hall with them and threw them into the trash can. As a result, you dreaded going to school because that bully of a kid would not leave you alone. You tried everything you could think of to stop him, yelling back in anger, telling the teacher, telling your parents, crying, begging him to stop. One day you even tried praying for him. On the days when the bully did not make fun of you, you were nonetheless well aware that he was lurking near you, ready to burst forth with seemingly endless cruelty at any moment. You always had to be on guard and try very hard to avoid him. In a similar way, that is how boys and men, even old men, usually are when they see an immodestly dressed woman. Even if they try to be godly, they are well aware of the sexual temptation. Think about it. You can be perfectly happy at school, talking and laughing with your friends and then you see the bully coming straight at you. Panic and despair immediately grip your heart. You have an instantaneous emotional reaction. Then you have a physical reaction. Your heart rate increases, your cheeks turn red, perhaps tears well up in your eyes. Well, typically when men see an immodestly dressed woman, they have an instantaneous physical reaction, sexual temptation. It can happen to them out of the blue. They're not even thinking about it and it can happen. It's like someone hit them upside the head with a baseball bat that they didn't see coming. It's just as difficult, if not more difficult, for men to avoid sexual temptation as it is for you to avoid reacting to the bully. And of course, men are responsible for their hearts and what they're thinking and to take every thought captive and not give in to that. But when we dress immodestly, then we're tempting them and we're making it harder for them than it should be. And it's not just a church. It's in Walmart. It's in the grocery store. It's everywhere we go. And then point F, because a godly woman would want to show love to God and love to others, she would desire two things. Number one, to obey God and that would not be a burden. It would be her joy. First John five in verse three says, for this is a love of God that we keep his commandments and his commandments are not burdensome. I used to have a young woman in my Bible study years ago and she would come to me often and she would say, explain to me why it is so hard to be a Christian. And I said, that's not my experience. It was hard being an unbeliever. The way of transgressor is hard, but it's my joy to obey God. And later I found out some sin that was in her life. And I knew why she was struggling. So she didn't love the Lord, she loved her sin. But a godly woman would want it to be her joy to obey God. And secondly, a godly woman would want to not unnecessarily tempt the boys and men around her to think wrongly when they see how she dresses and how she acts. Now, when you think about loving others, think about first Corinthians 13, four through seven. Love doesn't act unbecomingly. Love doesn't seek its own way. Love rejoices in the truth. So in Matthew 22, when I'm counseling, I just almost always near the beginning of the first few counseling sessions, I will teach my counseling about the two greatest commandments in the Bible. And I want them, if they're the two greatest, then I want them to start thinking in terms, those terms. And in Matthew 22, starting verse 35, it said, one of them, a lawyer asked him, asked Jesus a question. Now they were always trying to trick him. And the Pharisees thought in terms of greater laws and lesser laws from God's word. And the greater laws, they said, well, okay, you have to keep those, but the lesser laws are optional. And that was very convenient for them because they decided which was great and which was less. But they asked him a question, saying, teacher, which is the great commandment in the law? And he said to him, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. Now, Jesus made it clear that we shall love to God when we obey him. The last verse that I read the night that Jesus, that God saved me was, Jesus said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments. And then, but he went on and said, and the second greatest commandment is like the first. He said, the second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole law and the prophets. So when I think about loving my neighbor, and that includes your family, that includes your husband, he's your closest neighbor, I think about being kind, love is kind, love is patient. It's not jealous, doesn't seek its own way. And all of those things in 1 Corinthians 13, if it's the second greatest commandment, we should be really good at that and think in those terms. But because a godly woman would wanna show love to God and love to others, she would desire to obey God, it would be her joy, and to not unnecessarily tempt the males around her to think wrongly. And then point G. An Old Testament example of the ugliness of the heart's motive of immodesty is in the book of Isaiah. Now this is a warning from God to the women, the Jewish women, because they were embracing idolatry, he was warning them to turn from their idols. And one of their idols, the women was their vanity and how they dressed and how they called attention to themselves. Isaiah chapter three, starting in verse 16, it says, moreover the Lord said, because the daughters of Zion are proud, Zion is Jerusalem, and walk with heads held high and seductive eyes. So that long lingering look, seducing men, and go along with menacing steps. So they have these cute little steps and they're pressing around and tinkle the bangles on their feet. They must have had bells, little enclet things with bells on them so that when they did press, the bells would go off. It reminds me of a cow having a bell around his neck. But you know the cow is coming. Therefore, all right, here's what's gonna happen if they don't turn from their sin. Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs and the Lord will make their foreheads bare. In that day, when the judgment comes, in that day the Lord will take away the beauty of their. Now listen to this list. Anklets, headbands, crescent ornaments, dangling earrings, bracelets, veils, headdresses, ankle chains, sashes, perfume boxes, amulets, finger rings, nose rings, fester robes, outer tunics, cloaks, money purses, hand mirrors, undergarments, turvans, and veils. And you thought you had a lot to do to get ready today. Now it will come about when Babylon comes, when Nebuchadnezzar and his armies come and take them off his sleeves. Now it will come about then instead of sweet perfume there will be putrefaction. Putrefaction is riding flesh. You know what that smells like. Instead of a belt, a rope, because they're gonna be slaves. Instead of well set hair, a plucked out scalp. Instead of fine clothes, a donning of sack cloth. And that's what you wear when you're in grief and mourning and branding instead of beauty. This is a very ugly picture of their vanity. And when we are vain, it's just as ugly to God. And then point H, one of immodesty's best friends in the Old Testament is shame. Now it's interesting that in the Old Testament nakedness is described as shameful. But the person didn't have to be completely naked to have that description. The Hebrew word for nakedness can also be translated shame or indecency depending on the context. God covered Adam and Eve's shame with clothing. The priest in the Old Testament had to be careful how they walked up steps because their robes could gape open in the back and display the skin underneath and it was shameful for them. Psalm 109 and verse 29, it says, let my accusers be clothed with dishonor and let them cover themselves with their own shame as with a robe. And then point I, another of immodesty's best friends in the Old Testament is sensuality. Now sensuality in the sense of satisfying or appealing to sexual desires through the five senses. Sensuality expressed in what you say is flirting by hinting sexual themes. It is also expressed in touch such as girls that go up to guys and give them a hug, a frontal hug in Ezekiel 33 verses 31 and 32. It says, they come to you as people come and sit before you as my people hear your words but they do not do them. For they do the lustful desires expressed by their mouth and their heart goes after their gain. Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument. For they hear your words but they do not practice them. The people will not listen to God's warnings through Ezekiel. They hear but they're not heeding what he is. We would say what he's saying is going in one ear and out the other. And then point J, the New Testament, the Old Testament talks about shame and sensuality. The New Testament tells us that sensuality is one of the ways that we love the world. In James 4 it says, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. You can't have it both ways. Susan was talking about being a hypocrite. We can say, we can sing, oh how I love Jesus and then act and dress in a sensual way in an immodest way and we are being complete hypocrite, loving the world, more than we love our Lord. And then point K, we are to be a living and holy sacrifice presenting our bodies in ways that are acceptable to God. Romans 12, 1 and 2, therefore I urge you brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. This is just one of the ways we worship God. This is how we are to worship God. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect. I think being a living sacrifice for God is to sacrifice what you would prefer to honor God with what he would prefer. Just simply obeying him and having joy in that. A living sacrifice. And then point L, Peter warns us in 1 Peter 2, 11 through 13, to abstain from fleshly lust, which wage war against the soul. And our flesh desires this attention, desires to look hip and happening, desires to have attention called to ourselves. Not just from men, but also from women. And then point M, Peter also exhorts women to have a gentle and quiet spirit. Now this 1 Peter 3, 3 and 4, Peter wrote, your adornment must not be merely external, braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart who you are on the inside with the imperishable or unfading, or you could say eternal quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. You know, when I think about that, I want to be precious in the sight of God. And I would think that all of you would want to be precious in the sight of God. Now I did this huge big study on gentle and quiet spirit. It doesn't mean you whisper when you talk. It's okay to have a personality. I have a personality, but two things it boils down to. Accepting God's dealings with you is good. Even if it's a hard providence. And secondly, not being given to anger or fear. So a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit when you put all those things together, accepting God's dealings with you is good. You're not shaking your fist at God. You're not pushing back against his will. You are accepting these things from his hand. And you're not given to anger and the emotion you feel when you're angry is frustrated or irritated. And you're not given to fear, into anxiety. This means that they're motive. They love God. They're precious in his sight. That is their motive and their heart's desire. And then point in, Paul tells us we are to dress and behave modestly and discreetly. So he defines what he means by that. In First Timothy two, verse nine and 10. Now in First Timothy two, starting in verse nine, he's saying likewise I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing. Now Paul lived back in the Roman day where those rich Roman women had all these unbelievable dresses, they had the beehive hairdos, you've probably seen pictures with all the jewels hanging out, I'm confident they had a headache. You just would have to with all that stuff on top of your head. But he says, have beauty, adorn yourself with proper clothing. And then he says what that is, modestly and discreetly. Not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. So Paul tells us how we are to dress and behave modestly and discreetly. Our adornment is to be shown by our good works. This should be our greatest joy, to be pleasing to the Lord. I mean I could just go on and on and on. When our church family found out that Anna had cancer and she started her chemo and she has seven children. Three are grown, but four were still at home. And the outpouring of love, for 20 weeks, they provided two casseroles a week. What Anna asked for was frozen casseroles to be put in the freezer at church so that somebody in the family could get them and then they could, it would just be easier than somebody constantly in and out of their house. And then I decided, well, I'm just gonna clean her house. Well, that didn't last very long. It's too big. She has too many children. There's too many animals in that place. And I'm too old. So I started calling some of my friends, they're old too. And I said, look, let's make a Mary made team. And I promise I'll clean the bathrooms. I'm not gonna let anybody else even go in those bathrooms. And so there was four of us and we went over there. We were great. We had good attitudes. I'm sure the Lord was pleased with us. Maybe not me so much when I was in some of those bathrooms, but we did that. I mean, just the outpouring of practical love. And then when she had the surgery, it was the same thing. So these are women that love God. And nobody knew they were over there cleaning that house except the Lord and Anna and all her kids. So we tried to get the kids to help and they did but they're kind of lame. They're not as good as we are about that. So, now, let's see, where are we? But it should be your joy to be able to do that. Now, point O, legalists judge people by their own rules and standards. Here's the problem with legalism. You make it up and then you judge others if they don't adhere to your standard. For example, you can only wear long skirts, long skirts and blouses with sleeves that button up to your neck. In other words, you look like little house on the prairie characters. Legalists think, here's the problem, it's not that they have personal standards but the problem with legalism is that they think how they dress as part of their salvation. One of two ways, either to earn their salvation by their good works or, and they pride themselves by pleasing God through their men made up rules. So they think they're either earning their salvation or maybe they'd say, well, no, no, you can't earn your salvation but if you wanna be really pleasing to God, then you would dress like I do. So, legalists are like the Pharisees and the Lord Jesus had very, very stern warnings to them. For example, in Matthew chapter 23 verses 13 through 15, he says, but woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites. Now a woe is a curse, he's cursing them. Woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people for you do not enter in yourselves nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. Woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites because you devour widows houses and for pretense, you make long prayers, therefore you will receive greater condemnation. Woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte and then he becomes, when he becomes one, you make him twice as much as a son of hell as yourselves. And then verse 23 he says, woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for you tithe meant and dill and come in and have neglected the way to your provisions of the law. Now, the way to your provisions of the law are justice and mercy and faithfulness but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. So it was very challenging to write that book because you don't want to be a Pharisee, you don't want to be a legalist, you don't want to make women think that, well, if I do these rules, then that guarantees I go to heaven or that guarantees that I'll be pleasing to God. It is our outward look and how we talk to people, how we're not flirty, how we're not sensual and not only the way we dress but the way we act but God is looking at the outward but he's also looking at our heart and I have been for years, I was faithful to work in the nursery at church, I took a sabbatical lately, mainly because of Anna's cancer, I didn't want to contract something from some little dirty kid in the nursery and then give it to her but now that she's over this, I need to go back on the rotation. I'm not sure I will ever receive a reward in heaven for being in the nursery but I am nice to the children and I do love them but I'd really rather be in church with the adults. All right, one of my friends at church, she heard me say that one time and she said, don't say that. I said, well, Cindy, everybody else feels the same way. She said, yes, but don't say that. So anyway. All right, Roman numeral number four, practical tips on how not to look like a beautiful gold ring all dressed up outwardly to go to a party but in your heart you look to God like you're an ugly pig. All right, number one, enjoy the freedom you have in the Lord to wear makeup and clothing that you like. Styles change. Somebody who is drab in their outward appearance and judging others who don't look just like they do is probably a Pharisee in their heart. One time I counseled a teenage girl who was struggling greatly with her salvation and then one day she started coming for counseling, no makeup, very, all the clothing she had on was either white or light tan and her mother was coming with her and her mother says she won't wear anything that has any color in it. And I said, I told the girl, I said, why? And she said, well, I think that makes me more pleasing to God. I said, no, it just makes you look dog ugly. He doesn't. She was the most creative legalist I have ever worked with and she would, then she started wearing color then she would go on to something else but finally the Lord saved her and then she could relax with all of that. But it's okay if you don't want to wear loud splashy colors, it's okay. But it's okay if you do and you want to enjoy these things. I have, when Anna, right before she had her surgery in June, I went to Walmart and bought her some pajamas that would button down the front and a little summer robe and I took several options and I let her choose and then I took back. Well, one of them was a little robe that had pink flamingos all over it. And I thought she wouldn't like that. She loved it. And we're going to the beach, Lord willing, this next week with Anna and her family and our son and his family. And Anna said, well, you go buy yourself one and go buy Jamie, Jamie's daughter-in-law so that we'll all look alike with our pink flamingo robes. So it took a while to go from Walmart to Walmart to find the sizes that I wanted. But so, and her kids, when she came out wearing that robe, she said, they said, mom, what is that? So anyway, we're going to have fun with it. Enjoy the freedom you have in the Lord. You don't have to look like little house in the prairie. You can be stylish and hip and happening but not be sensual and immodest. And then number two, have as your deepest heart's desire to please God. It should bring you joy. Ask yourself, who am I trying to impress? What am I thinking when I choose the clothes to wear today? When I look in the mirror after I get dressed, by the way, as you get older, you don't look as good. And, but I've discovered, if I don't have all my glasses or my contacts, I look really good in the mirror because it's kind of fuzzy, you know? And then I, when I put on my contacts, I'm like, oh no, is it God or is it how you can be noticed and how many compliments you can get? So what is your motive? And then number three, some practical tips to go by. All right, here they are. Do a mirror check. Are my clothes too tight? Is my neckline too low? Bend over and look. And remember, a lot of times men are taller than you. So they have a bird's eye view. Is my shirt or blouse too high at the waist? Raise your hands over your head and bend over and see if half your back is showing. Am I exposing parts of my body that are sensually suggestive? Do my undergarments show through? Am I constantly having to adjust my clothing because I feel a little guilty about what I'm wearing? What does the slogan on my clothing say? I've seen women in short shorts that have, like one gal that I saw, she had the words Texas written in big letters or across her rear end. So people were calling her Tex there. They were noticing, all right. Am I dressing like a girl or one of the guys? The Lord wants us to be feminine. He wants us to, men to be men and women to be women. I remember, Samper and I going in a restaurant one time and we were with another couple and I noticed this teenage girl coming into the restaurant and she, everybody noticed her because she was practically naked. I mean, it was, I'm surprised they even let her in the restaurant and then her mother walked in and I thought, my goodness, she is naked. She was worse. And I thought, and every woman and man in there noticed them and I thought, how sad for that girl, for that young girl to have a mother who is such a sensual woman and encourages her daughter in that. Now, remember I talked about my great grandmother Alice, the Victorian lady. I don't know what was in her heart, only God does. I do know she was covered from head to toe. So what about you? Thankfully, we don't have to dress like she did, but what is in your heart? When God looks at you, does he see a woman who is precious in his sight or does he see a woman who is a harlot in her heart? So let's pray. Father, this conference is all about giving you glory. Thank you that your word tells us how, that we can be pleasing to you, we can be precious in your sight, that we can be a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit and I pray that you will put those things in our heart and that we won't resent them, that it won't be a burden for us, but that it will be our joy. I pray that we won't judge others, that we won't become Pharisees, that we won't come up with a list of rules and standards and then try unbiblically to impose them on others. Lord, I just pray, I just, in my experience has been that the Christian life is one of great joy. It's not a burden and I pray that you will put that joy in all of our hearts and that we will turn from our sensual ways and that we will dress in modest ways and act in modest ways that would please you. Lord, we do want to be precious in your sight. We pray in Jesus' name, amen.