 Twisted yellow birch out in the swamp. Well, I ain't mad at it. It's gonna cook my supper. Did you ever get mad at me? Well, I did want, but didn't pay good, so I give it up. Well, he was probably drunk. Payed no mind. Well, now crap. You know that the false dead act has made drinking liquor illegal. And I'm a law-abiding man, I never touch it. Well, you should probably go ahead and have a little dip. I'll call the town constable. He'll come lock you up in his cellar since he's also the local bootmaker. And that's probably some of the best damn liquor ever cooked up in the state of Vermont. Right there for the drinking. I'll come down and fetch it out so you can do chores. Well, I don't sound too bad. I recall I sent you in that person killing and told busted adders, and if you fellas don't get it done, them kills won't be the only ones miserable. Come on, ma. Come on. Here you go, ma'am. Thank you, Henry. Morning, gentlemen. Morning. You know what I might find a garage around here? I don't know if you'd love them to want to. You'd probably find one right here. No, no, I mean a garage around the wheels. That doesn't look like what I'm looking for. Well, they weren't made for the motor car, if that's what you mean, but it fits them pretty good. No, no, you see, I need a garage that tows cars and fixes them, and that sort of thing. Well, I have never seen this garage do nothing like that. No, it's just sad a little. I've seen the hay bottom load a wagging much and a herring over the hail place. No, it's like, hey, man, we're not going back to skidding. I happen to have a few greenback dollars for the first minute to find me a mechanic with a tow truck. I, for one, would have a hard time finding you a mechanic with a tow truck. You ain't got enough grease on you to be a mechanic in any pool, can see you, where you trying to tow truck? I'll make belief I find you a mechanic with a tow truck for only $1. It'll take some doing, but I'll do it. Gentlemen, gentlemen. I'm afraid I'm not making myself very clear. You see, I have run my motor car into a ditch while taking a tour of your beautiful roads hereabouts, and I require some assistance as my motor car has suffered some damage and is stuck firmly in the mud. Do you know someone who can tow my car and fix it? Wow, you got your car in mine, Mr. You'd be better off with a stiff head and a set of honies. It'd drop this thing up right this way on the right long side you can. Translation? I didn't see the team of horses. Ah, well, you know where my final team to hire? Well, in the bar, I'm the one who's like that, for I love to. If I had to hire them, they probably wouldn't talk to me. Who should I talk to? Well, that'd be me. Sir, I'd appreciate it if you would hitch up your team and tow my car someplace where I can have it fixed. You see, I'm in a real hurry. Got some pressing business in Boston, and I got to be on my way. I'll pay you off your trouble, of course. I had an uncle who's in the pressing business. Yeah, I had a pressing business. Hard side, you're to say, Zach. Me, the best in, hard side, you're around. You're never meeting no pressing in Boston, though. I don't know. Maybe she'll be on half of down here. I don't know. Hard side, you're not. You still do that business? Well, there's no way of knowing whether they do that sort of thing the other side of the grade. But if they ain't got no revenuers and lay in the glory, if I got a bet, he'd still have it. Oh, he's still on. Sorry. Not half the sari's on, Lucy. She's been mad at the old man, leaving him for 10 years now. Nobody to bell her up. Now, with all my car, did you ever hear the call him? Pull him up the wall. He got the green apple, big steps, and over stamped with his cigarette. And he couldn't make it to the alleyhouse, so he damned near filled up the old lady's chamber pot. He just hit shut your team. Of course, the chamber pot was off limits to the madman. So he left her right there in the middle of the floor, and she tripped on it. He was mad at the hornet, and he just took right off after him with her walk. He melted, beat him to shreds, and right there, made him bed right down with the hammies in the middle of his head. Gentlemen, would you or would you not help me with my car? I could just see old walled, all covered in head turd and shivered like a gun chando. How did you do this to yourself? You really ought to be more careful. Mother called us, didn't you, Henry? Yep. Hadn't you better get in there, hadn't we? No, really, I'm just convinced those gentlemen to haul my car in the mud and pay them. Did you ask them to do that for you? I did, but I don't think they hear me. They heard you. They'll do it. Well, why don't they do something now? I'm in a hurry. Hold still. This isn't Boston. They are not in a hurry, and you can't make them hurry. How did you know I was from Boston? Last time I saw someone in such a hurry, it was in Boston. Someone so frantic as you. I'm not frantic. So when was a farm girl ever in Boston? I'm not a farm girl. Well, what are you then? I'm a teacher. Well, I would go to a school where I could look at a teacher like you all day. You couldn't learn what I have to teach by admiring me. I actually don't think you could learn what I have to teach. Why not? I couldn't on it. You're in too much of a hurry. Didn't you learn to be a teacher in Boston where everyone is in a hurry? I studied at Wellesley, but I learned to be a teacher here in Vermont. Wellesley? What are you doing up in the boondocks? You should be in Boston still, in New York. What a time. What, you couldn't find a husband? I could have found at least a dozen just like you. Well, that I doubt. Why are you so special? This used to be a slick suit, sure. You're just like all the others. Well, you wouldn't do for me, though, pretty as you are. Why not? Because you're not in enough of a hurry. Look at you, the Venus is a school marmin' in a hick town. God, I ain't seen no Ben pull that hard since we pulled Morris' buck-bowled out the river there about three, four years ago in the flood of 27. What, have you got loaded in that car besides mine? Not milk, I assure you. Hey, you don't think that either one of those two horses worked out $10 worth of sweat, do you? I mean, they didn't even sweat $10 worth between the two of them. Can you imagine? Charging me $10. Well, I don't know what the gone price for sweat is, but I don't imagine it brings much. There ain't much short supply of sweat around here. What the hell? It's only $10. Easy come, easy go. Hey! You ain't never sweat with something cold. And you know what? Well, I did want it, but it's only a dew drop. Why would you possibly want the sweat? There's plenty of money to be made. It's America. Well, this is Vermont. Oh, be blessed in by the great Hornspoon. Carlton P. of the serious Mr. Oswald. Henry, we'd best be back to work so we can be good examples for the people from the village. Did you wander up here to be a good example to us, Mr. Oswald, and to take photographs of yourself doing the Lord's word? Or this young fellow right here, he just wandered up here himself. This is Mr. Watchiney. You can just call me Winston. Hello, Winston. Black Henry, I bring no sermon. My preaching is lost on such heathens as you. That is my photographic art. Maybe I had gone to seminary. At least our school would guide me. Heathen are not, Mr. Oswald. I'd just like to keep it between me and the spirit. Only in churches is warmer. Relax, Henry. I bring important news from the village. I'll speak, then, Oswald. A federal liquor agent is here in town to rid us once and for all from the pernicious influence of trade. He has appropriated Constable Norris Nicolle's dining room as his base of operations. He told Mrs. Farnsworth that he's here to capture a certain whiskey runner who ferries the contraband into Boston. I overheard this, that he would have captured the criminal, but his assistant ran the car off the road. The car was damaged. You fix cars, don't you? I'll do pretty near anything. And as little of it as possible. I see you have another repair job going already. A modern age is upon us. You'll be in a talk, but I'll use all that. And a mighty shame it is. This agent's name is Vincent Comstock. We'll be receiving a visit from him. Good day, Winston. He's had me made the Lord keep you in the palm of his hand. That's not good to you, Oswald. Well, you better get the fix in the world's heaviest package. Looks like we're going to have a pick-up in business. Well, building banks is too much of a picking-up business. Oh, can you rent, because I like this mechanic word. Does that man say that the agent is staying at Norris Nichols' house? Norris Nichols that lived down in the village? Yeah, you know him. I think he could say he's a business associate. This is thrilling. Well, I never found Norris that thrilled. I found him snoring a few times up on his own. God, he never looked that thrilled to me. I love the good of that, sir. The risky business spread out. Ambition can make a killer. And me, with half a good college education, gotten at my great old dad's great sacrifice. And I'm supposed to ignore all this tactically free money and quit drinking the boo while I do dream. And I'm the town constable. That's job you can have in my business. No problem getting an arm of the law to turn a blind eye, since I'm the eye and arm of the law. But now, this big government dick has come to town. And what a peacock in a nice heat he is. Them fellows from Boston got to have their whiskey. There are no bunch to fool around with. They're dangerous. And I sort of got in contract with them. Well, I'm not hurting anybody. We're doing a public service. Doing this town some good. Of course you are, Mitchell. You're the only upholder of the law in this higtile. Till we came, that is. Got a cold, Norris. Norris, just a feather in my clothes. Well, it'll be a feather in your cap if we text this whiskey runner. It was so close to catching him. My investigative work had really paid off. But then Arnold ran the car off the road. Sorry about that, sir. Oh, I'll get him. Have you ever studied the maps of the area, Nittles? No, sir. Well, I had lived you all my life. Now our maps is the chief pillar of investigative work. Have you studied the maps? Yes, sir. Good. You'll need a well-thought-out plan of attack. Perhaps we could use Mr. Nichols' knowledge of the area to our advantage, sir. Thank you, Arnold. You're new at this. You just sit back and watch an old pan. No, studying maps was one of the areas I excelled in while at the academy. What happened to this map? Well, it just spilt some water on it, sir. No, he's a government troper. You really must be more careful. We're not going to hurt you. Hello there. Sorry about that. I didn't see you busy at all. Quite all right. I was just tidying up. I'll be out of your way. Yes. You're a very respectful woman there, Nittles. Why didn't you introduce us? Ah, well, she's just a maid. Well, you've got her well trained, I see. Though she must have been a bit in awe of me. Probably doesn't see many of my stand in this town. Well, he hit the nail on the head there. Where would you like to start with the stakeout, sir? Well, first we need our car fixed. You can't have a stakeout without a car. And the suit, the money, the clean. I don't suppose there's anyone in town who takes in laundry? Well, I'll have my wash here. Now we're getting somewhere. And you'll need to find someone to fix my car. I must be biased to the nearest garage. There's a farmer, a car thief. He can fix about anything. I said to Oswald, talk to him. A farmer is going to fix my car. He's also a mechanic. What, he couldn't make his mind up in choosing a career? Oh, no. Everybody does everything around here. Blacksmith, carpenter, place fiddler, barn dancers. But you're just a constable. Yes. Well, there's so much criminal activity and disruption around here. I have to be three constables at once. I can bring it out. I chose a progression. Oswald, when can this jack of all trades fix my car? Soon, sir. He's got a car in the shed now. He can't move it till it's fixed. As soon as he fixes it, he'll pull your car out of the ditch and fix it for you. Can't move it, eh? Well, we'll just have to have a nice chat with this piece, fella. I wouldn't push Carlton if I were you. Rushing him's like pissing in the wind. I appreciate your advice, Norton. But we do things a little differently in the big city. We know how to get things done. Come on, I don't bring that bottle back in here. Would you please, dear? Don't please, dear me. I'm just the maid. Come on, dear. You know we have to keep up appearances. This town quit caring whether we live in sin or not years ago. We ain't done a lot of sinning lately. If you've been over this, Monty, you can't just live your life any way you want to. Think of my position in the community. Besides, we've got to show these government fools will legitimate upstanding sentences. We are, for God's sake. Well, not by their standards, we're not. We're unmarried. We're in the damn boot-legged business and I'm supposed to be the arm of the law in this town. To that calm stop, fella, law enforcement's supposed to be a special group for your business, superman. Well, I'm just the maid. Martha, I need you now. As always. Well, don't forget you need me, too. What are we going to do? How are we supposed to operate with those fools using our headquarters as a... I mean, our house as their headquarters to catch Wednesday? Tell them to get their ass off the property. Why can't you laugh and be suspicious? Well, Norris, that calm-stock fella is too busy looking at himself to see anything. At least we know where they are. Now, his assistant, that Arnold's fella, he seems pretty swift. We'll have to watch him. I guess you're right. I hate to see what happens when we cut off supply of those Boston hoods. Those revenues have to show up now. Well, you better get used to it because you know Carleton Pease is going to take twice as long fixing that dick's car once they've had their little discussions this afternoon. Whoever's going to get him out of here, I better go jogging with Carleton. See if I can't straighten out the mess Big Shot was sure to make with the pieces. Yeah, it won't be much of a conversation. Well, Carleton's a budget calm-stock. He won't even know he's been skinned and hung up crazy. Beautiful hair. Yes, it is. You're still down enough to see that. I've got no choice. I'll say him. Can't wait to be back to the big city. Music. Dancing. Nah. Parties. Smoky cafes. Sidewalks. I would stay here if he gave me a million dollars. Carleton's pretty as you doing wasting her life up here. I can't consider it a waste. I can't take the city. It depresses me. I used to love it, but then I realized how decadent and perverse it all is. Sweat shops and slums. People eating $20 dinners while others paw through the garbage cans for a phone. What are you, a socialist? Wesley was too much to highlight for ya, huh? You got a leisure to think of all that crap. So now you're going to punish yourself for being well off? If I were among the privileged, that doesn't mean that I don't suffer in the long run for this injustice. Or that I don't care. We're all in this together. It's not crap. It's people's lives. So you're in exile because some people have it and others don't? What a silly thing to worry about. It's always been that way and it always will. You're too serious. Have some fun. Enjoy life. I'm not in exile, but I am enjoying life. It's just that I care about people and these hard times are driving them to despair and droves. And I suppose the surf or the tenant farmer and the paradise. At least they had the land. They were, they are people of the earth. The land. They were slaves. Every kid with a soul wants to get off the farm. Yeah, I mean, going through some hard times, but we'll be in the money again soon. People never had it as good as they have it now. Maybe it isn't easy on the land. At least there's some dignity in it and the rhythms of nature. Not like the slum in a factory town. Do you go and read all that factory girls poetry when you were at Wellesley? Have you taken time out of your parties long enough to realize there's a depression going on? People are poor and hungry in the cities. People have been poor around here for generations, but they seldom go hungry. The land takes care of them. You're hungry, though. I saw the way you looked in my car and I know you asked those questions about the latest in Boston. You read through my copy of the Globe of Times for God's sake. Talk about wasted youth. Take the world on your shoulders. Come to Boston with me. Drive to Hampton Beach. Get our toes wet in the Atlantic on the way. It'll be grand. I am not wasting my life and I'm not getting into some big fancy car to go and be a heinous with Mr. Good Times. I'm doing the world some good. I like it here. I'm teaching these kids to think for themselves. This is a special place. No big cities. The winter is too long and the soil is too thin. No one wants it, so they left it alone. Look around you. We're surrounded by the beauty that wealth always ruins. Haven't you ever noticed that as long as there's enough food and clothing, the poorest people seem to be the happiest? You know, your face is so hard to set. I think it might crack. Calm down. Yeah, it's a nice place to visit. But I'm not hiding my head and fooling myself. You said we're all in this together, right? Right. So it makes you think you're not part of the big city. It's just because you can't see a factory from where you're hiding. What do you think sent you to Wellesley and gave you all those fine ideals? All that city money that makes so many people miserable and a bunch of baloney. In the factory or on the farm, somebody's got a slave. As long as it ain't us, right? Nah, we're too smart. We're too well. You want to sing? Let's sing God Bless America. Well, you seem to be doing all right. You've got to sing God Bless America. You don't want to sing? God Bless America. I don't suppose there's any connection between your extra heavy car and that federal agent that's coming to town. Stand beside her. Another might be. What wonderful respect you have for this great country's laws. Hey, it's free enterprise. Look at this one, Paul. Guess I got off that half-cocked there. These clothes are a mess. Well, I don't know if wiping them down with that trowel would help any, but I guess it might. What? I'm looking for a bad mother name of peace. Who fixed his car? Does he live around here? Yeah. Could be. What do you want, Clyde? Oh, they don't care. I don't care what the man looks like. I have important government business and I'm not even a mechanic. I was told that one lives around here and I'm in a hurry. Do you know where this piece lives? Yeah. Well, come on. I'm in a hurry. Well, I don't know what's taking care of the boy's fish. He's going to help me. I'll go on that. It's not a damn fish. It's a trowel. I caught a mile from the dam. Look, I have only amusement I can take. I'm government business, I tell you, and I need a mechanic. What can you do for it? I don't think there's any fixing for the government. Well, I figured you're already pretty much fixed. You know, I don't need a mechanic. I need a mechanic. A mechanic without opinion. That'd be nice. Oh, the rare thing to do. Eat an ant. Eat an ant. Eat an ant. Can't you see this is important? You're standing in the way of government business. You know who I was thinking of was just standing in my own barnyard. Well, that's what London did for it. Now, you've got government business in your barnyard. How do you do business in the barn? In the government, does it business in the barnyard? Gentlemen, we need our car to have the ditch in repair so that we can catch a whiskey bootleg runner that comes through this area. I'll handle this, Arnold. You ought to let him handle it. He don't talk like he's on government business. Even I understand him. And I will talk to him. I wasn't great as I. Look, we have a very important job to do and we depend on our car to do it. You have to tow the car out of the ditch hereabouts and fix it so that we can get on with enforcing the law. It's that simple. So let me get that straight. Well, you depend on your car to do your job for you. And so your car is dependent on me to do a job on it. And we are dependent on you to enforce the law. Something like that? Now, so that means if enforcement law depends on him and he depends on his car and his car depends on you and you depend on me to do your chores while he's spending on you to fix his car the first way of the law depends on me doing your chores. And me doing his chores. Oh, we're in worse shape than I thought. I smell sucka. You better go in. When will you fix my car? Oh, that depends. Yeah, you had Willie. We got all today, tonight, and a half tomorrow. We got hand. Well, Mom says we didn't have to come down to a new and work on one since car and the murder. Mom, Henry Milken, tonight and tomorrow? Yep. Mom says boys gotta have a chance to be boys sometimes. That they do. Oh, boy, I gotta hand it to you, Willie. That fellow Winston won't notice all this liquor in his car until he hits Boston. We're gonna drug her in the shells now. Well, I don't know why we had to film with gasoline, though. I think the Reverend's gonna notice we took it from the big petrol tank down by the Bible camp. Oh, shit. He can't tell how much we got in that tank. I don't know why we had to film with gas, though. It's a good trick. Willie, you ain't saying much. Yep. If old Winston runs out of gas, he can run his rig and want some of them bottles. God, why's that snot hole in my arm in his car? He's gonna shit one of the nickels. Give me some of that. Wait, I'm filling up these bottles. He's right. It's gotta be drunk from the bottles. What, are you a bunch of girls? Give me some of that. Where'd you get them old bottles? I got them from the back of the tool shed. Them are Henry's. Jesus, you're done with that bottle. Give it here. Give me some. Old man knows how to brew it. That's his own old bottle. You won't need more than one, I guarantee. Come on now and have a nib. Don't this stuff make you sick? I heard you can go blind and get to twitching in the leg. No, you go blind and get to twitching in the leg for masturbation. You've done that plenty ain't dead yet. Have a drink, you moron. I am not. Don't worry, Alan. My old man knows how to brew it and he tells Martha everything he knows about it. And we've got some milk, your hay, your weed, the garden, till noon tomorrow. Of course, you've got the whole summer off. Don't you, Willie? Must be nice. You didn't know that, Greg. You got most of the creeks around here all fished out. Eat a pig's eye, you do. I'm still catching the lunkers. I get tired of pounding way up and down the old dusty roads. Everyone else is out shoveling shit or pitching hay. I just assumed we'd be back in school. At least then I can look at Miss Payson every day. She has someone to look at, isn't she? Something to listen to, too. She says the damnedest things. Why don't you come up and help Alan and me with a hand? My old man never found out I was doing farm work. He'd hide me good. Sister Nichols has ever done farm work. It makes me need to be some sort of doctor, professor. It's sober enough to think, which ain't often. Well, Pops says farm work is as good a profession as any man could have. Even in Vermont where we grow more rocks than anything else. Didn't even. And he did. Old man, when are you gonna have that rig out of there? Oh, about the time I guess I'll take to a judge's day. I wanna tell that. That hay field can't wait. It'll take them, boy, still judgment day to finish hand mowing. You and Henry ought to get on it. Well, Carlton's gotta get this done here because he's gotta get on to doing government work. The government ain't gonna do our hay in there. Well, I bet they do a job of it, so they did, though. Alan, five X's enough of these rigs. I make enough money we can buy the hay. And let that hay field go to hell. Oh, we didn't go to hell. We'll get her. We still got that other slap dog government fella wants his car fixed, too. I might let him go to hell. Hey, why'd you let them boys mowing off the camp? They need your help down in that field. Neither one of them can sharpen a side worth beans. They might as well have a lark while you're tied up. Then it'll set a fire under them when they finally get back at the hand. Sides, they'll fish their supper and I won't have to feed them. Good evening. I don't know. A lot of a... Oh, if it ain't Martha Atwood. Good evening to you, Doria. Henry. Nice one, ain't it? That is. Think it might rain later, though? Maybe a long dry spell could don't. Is your father out and about? Looks fit as a fiddle. It's a wonder, ain't it? He's getting long in the tooth. No, he's a mere pop. Is Arden still milkin' up to your folks' place? As far as I know, don't know his arm welcome up there anymore. He's a good boy, Arden. Sides, I ain't had time to go up to the old farm with company and all down the village and nor at our house. Oh, that's right. You got the government stand with you. And it makes you feel safe, don't it? Not too. His car is still stuck up in that ditch, ain't it? Yep. I bet you won't be sad to see them clowns drive away. Nope. I think you just find someone that's straightenin' out his problems. Well, I guess that would have to happen for them to move on. Now, that prohibition agent there now, he does fluff himself up something terrible, doesn't he? Puts a rooster to shame. I've grown Norris old enough. Well, same as always. You hang on a minute. I've got something for you and Norris and Willie. So how's Winston's car comin'? Oh, he banged her up pretty good. Then Big Rocks will do that. This kind of car weren't made for him. Here was it. Oh, that's not somebody kind of fooled him anyway. Thank you, Doria. Norris and Willie will love it. Well, I bet he'll. You come back any time. If I can get out, I will. Henry? Caroline? Thanks again, Doria. See ya, nothin'. Behave yourself now. And give me that big momma from the tool chair. Wow, I guess I ain't got nothin' better to do. I might as well go back and get that momma. All right. Keep it in the back of the shed. In the crate. Oh, come on, Henry. What the hell would someone want with a bunch of old bottles? Well, I don't know, I'm sure I don't know, but them bottles are mighty special to me. Damn. Finally, a night without Mr. Lawn or his Yasmine. Well, get another bottle, I just... Minish what you got. Then get another bottle. Did you hear me? Why, jeez, you're a dumber than a boxer, honest. If I had known you was gonna sit here and get pie-eyed, I would have gone along with them city dicks to the Reverend Oswald's house. I am. You just want to flirt with that aren't you? Half-drunk hat would go in the Reverend Oswald house so slight that I could simply have you. It's sooner a half-drunk hat would than a whole-drunk nickels. This is it. Time for the nickels at his table. Junk, un-junked, half-naked, stirred, crazy, still burning damn ice. Settle down. Up and dying. I'm just saying that they ought to leave behind their own damn business and let a fellow mind his. What do they have to do with this town? Look at those fine-smelling dandies they sent the same. Oh, go to seed. If it weren't for me, he'd beat belly up. You don't give a rat's ass for him or me or nothing but guzzle-guzzle. Well, it's guzzle-guzzle, damn it. What's that you have there? Lemonade? Slop it down like a hog like you do. I don't want to know what you've done the next day. You think them bunks are for me beating on them? Oh, I ought to beat on them. Go ahead and knock me off my chair. Knock me down. Wouldn't be hard. Go ahead and graze that jet. Show'd you read, look out. I should have moved out long ago. My folks old, damn, run-down, freezing-cold, hill-farm even beats this. Boost up. Bye, God, Morris. If you weren't so soaked, you'd realize you couldn't last a week without me. Who'd run the select-man business? Wash your clothes, keep your house, feed your son. Who'd run the still? Buy the corn, tend the garden, mow the fields, handle that Anthony and his pack of hooglin boys. Who'd write the Christmas cards? Pay the bills. Who'd keep your goddamn respectability? Don't start, Norris. Mr. Chancellor, do you love Norris? The truth. Sort of. Sort of. Norris, don't start this, please. We don't have to go the whole round tonight. Because we don't speak yet. Oh, God. I can fix it. Come on. I can give you what you want. Norris, get up. Come on, I can give you what you want. Of course, that's Lieberlo. Willie, don't you call your father names. Willie? What did you call him? Lieberlo? I called you to your school. It's July, stupid. Willie, don't talk to your father that way. Yellow? I'm not clean the blood. It says this time, Martha, I'm not clean the blood. Norris, don't, you'll fall. You can't carry him enough. Gotta help the poor suffering bastard. Pack this old pack of blood out of here. We're gonna get that rooster out of smoth and nausea. I imagine old Norris is some upset with that whiskey steal right there in his basement. And that revenue agent can't try to help his father. You suppose he notices he's got a problem? He ain't always so good at noticing when he's got problems. Yeah, maybe not. Besides, he's got that athlete taking care of that. She'd probably run them the revenue and run off the property when they shot them. And go in for Norris being a select man and a pillar of the community and all. Did you see that government fellow's guard? It's a pack of just exactly like this one. Stuck right in the mud. Now, I don't imagine it's as heavy as this one being as ink full of Norris's hood. But I imagine it'll make old Ben Heave some getting around, though. Well, we better fix this one before we get that one. Let's get out of here before she gets dark. I'm gonna need your help on me here for a second, Henry. Do I get a mechanic's wages? Well, you can have seconds. It's up. I'll do it. I know it. We're fucking out of gas. Be worried. I gotta get that whiskey to Boston before he gets upset. I can't believe that revenue was not breathing down my neck. What sweet thing that Phoebe is. I can almost stay here with her. It's lovely down by the river. Hell, I wouldn't last three days. I gotta move. You should take that act on the road or run away with circuits. I'd do that right away. I'm fast at fixing cars. You ain't gonna need a car and a circus. You'll be dancing and riding bicycles with the bears. Or an elephant. A circus I work for requires that you have an automobile. A fast one. Well, do you trust an elephant with an automobile? Of course. And a circus I work for is not a cheap circus to run. I bet cheats cost a quarter of a dollar. Or they could cost you your life. But the refreshments are good. I think I'll take my refreshments at home. I could be arranged. You're here for a drink, gentlemen? Well, I guess not. If you fellas go ahead, I won't turn you in. You could imagine my relief. And you'll only think like you're brewed by Schleckman Costables. Ain't that right? You know, my car works fixed. I can teach you some fine stuff from Boston. When I come back for more of this, local fare. And the next time you put your rig in the ditch, I'll be too damn drunk to fix it. You don't need my help to get drunk. Norris must have spread a little to stop around locally. I ran into a guy down by the river. He was at a gallon or so. He had a cowboy hat on. Talk's funny. Well, you know, Norris, he don't spread the liquor around quite like he used to since he started exporting it. Some of it gets wet. It bindances inside. But a lot of your drinkers down here is when they're drinking. But that young fellow you saw the cowboy hat on, he weren't drunk. Must have been crazy, man. He was talking crazy. He's odd. Odd. That fellow with the cowboy hat that you saw, that's Byron Barker, that's old Oswald nephew. He started telling me about a horse he had that could count to ten. Well, Byron got a story or two, but I don't believe the barkers even got a horse. The one that can count even the two. The barkers wouldn't know how to keep a horse if they had one. Yeah, I think the old Oswald there and Byron is all that's left and Oddwald, he figures he's responsible to take care of this nephew. Well, it looks like he was taking care of himself. Not doing such a great job. Well, now the whole village takes care of him a little bit. Now, you see, Byron won't never stay home with all the Oswalds, and it gets the old man kind of hot. He's always running around after Byron trying to get him to stay home for his own good. Well, I don't think Byron agrees with that. He prefers to be kept by the town and himself, he don't like that room over there, Oswalds. Now, he sleeps up to the lectures in the summertime and in the cellar at the Grange come winter. Well, seems likable enough. You know, I went to a state hospital once in New Hampshire where they kept the crazy ones. You didn't see the lease bill like the patients there. Well, Byron is his own man. I mean, he ain't got no hospital taking care of him. Oh, that's obvious. Well, we're all a bit odd in getting Oddur. You sure you want to have some, Henry? Nope, I'm odd enough. It's yourself. So, how's the repair job going? Well, it's not going anywhere by itself. How much longer will it be until you get around the fixing in? You've been trying to get around fixing it all along. No, ain't that the truth. Will it be much longer? No, it's going to be about the same length. No, I'd say it might even shorten up a little bit. I don't care how long it is. Oh, by the way, you was talking, you was in a hurry. Nice spending the night in your barn again. What do you think, Henry? Oh, I don't know. You don't look like you eat that much hay, really. Well, I don't know whether you're a young man, but it seems like it might be time you were heading down the road. You don't want me to stay in your barn? Well, can I take this road to an inn or something? Oh, they don't need it. They've got plenty of roads down the village. How far is it to a tavern or something? Over to Bradford. Well, I'm going to take you to get there. Well, how fast are you going to drive? Drive my car? Well, you ain't taking the wagon, Ben. Don't like night travel. Well, hot dog. How much do I owe you? Well, how much is it worth to be there, young dog? I don't know. I don't think about it. Tell me, how much does it cost me? Well, what do you pay for that? Read that. Well, the car's not even mine. I don't know. It's been $4,000. It belongs to my employer. Well, it did run no $4,000 worth when we drug it up here. No, it didn't go $5,000. What's the plug meant, though? It goes $5,000, though, don't it? Yes, it does. $4,000. I'm not giving you $4,000 or $5,000. You said you didn't know anything about it. Well, I know it's not worth $4,000 or $5,000. Well, you just told him that's what your boss paid for. $4,000 or $5,000. Yeah, but that wasn't new. It just worked out. You didn't do $4,000 worth of work to it. Well, you don't know what I did to it. I didn't drug before. It wasn't worth a nickel. No, you could sell it off for $4,000 or $5,000, and you don't even own it. That's a tiny profit. And besides, you got to sleep in the bank. But it only took you a day. Well, it only took you a minute to run it in the ditch, and you ain't got nothing into it at all. Yeah. How much did you time work? That depends upon me. What time would be interested in buying it now? If I was in bed with the old lady, and she was feeling good, well, none of that would cost you. But if you were thinking about the time when all my bills come due, or when I'm working the roof on the barn, well, that'd be a lot cheaper. Okay. How much is your time under the car work? One thing was nothing to me. I know how to fix a tie rod and other behaviors. Where's something to me? Well, I guess we're back at the beginning, ain't we? We've come full circle again. So how much is it worth to you? $10. Well, I'm going to make a business plan how to hit the other end. $15. What a way to do business. Well, you could've went down and done my hand. You could've paid the $15. That's it I've done. Yeah. Well, I'm not in that business. I'm in the milking business in the morning, so I guess I better turn in. Good night, Captain. Good night, young fellow. I'm with Henry. You ain't going with me. I guess you're right there. Mr. Pease, could you send Phoebe out and say goodbye? I think I'll be off. Well, I'll tell her you're gone. I'll leave an opportunity sign if she can come see you all. We'll see you later there, young fellow. Thank you, Mr. Pease. Probably seeing me around. Not too damn soon, I hope. I'm not sure I could survive another negotiation with you farm folks. Yeah, well, Henry can get on your nerves, can't he? Good night. Old Hellraiser, those two are. What are you laughing about? Oh, nothing. Just this place. What are you all about this place again? You nearly ripped all those leads out of your mouth this afternoon with your nerves for them. No pool halls, no speakeasies, no radio, no movie houses. I thought you were going to have a mental breakdown. The walk down by the river calmed me down. I guess I was just feeling a little anxious. I used to be on the move day and night. Carlson said you were leaving. Do you really think you should travel at night? It's dangerous. It's the only time I travel. Faster the better. That's irresponsible. And you're drinking. Oh, I am. Did you care for something? Well. It's the finest Vermont blend. Besides me, sir. You're such a bad man. Look at you. Drinking. It's not only irresponsible, it's illegal. This is a citizen's arrest. You're coming downtown with me, lady. My hand to you, you brute. Have a drink and forget all about it. Well, ride again. I'm easily bought. That's the truth. I have another argument. I just think you're fooling yourself and wasting your time as a hoodlum. You're very intelligent and articulate. You could do something really good. Look here, sister. Who are you calling a hood? I'll plug you right here. Winston, be serious. Okay. Oh, God, you're such a child. No, wait. Come on. I'll be serious. It helps me to be serious when we dance. No, Winston. I don't want to dance. Well, what's the matter with you? Have you been drinking again? Don't step on my toes. We can use it. Let's sing. All of me. What a take-all. Can't you see? I'm no good with that. I won't. Why do you have to leave? Why don't you come with me? We're going back in the city anyway. I left that behind. This is my home now. This is where I want to be. It would be nice if you could be here too without destroying the last bushes. Phoebe, I got to go. I got to get back to my life of sin. When will you be back? You are coming back, aren't you? Yeah, this is my route. That liquoration doesn't scare me. I don't rent them once. I'll do it again. Only this time. I won't run off the road. Though running off the road, I met you. Winston, please be careful. Phoebe, are you sure you won't come with me? You have got school to teach now in summer. I have chores. I live here now. It's part of my rent. Besides, I don't want to go to Boston. What are you afraid of? Are you running from the mob? I'm not afraid. It's just that. Never mind. It's not on you. I'm sorry. I just have to be here. I'm telling you again. Be careful. Come back for the square dance at Richardson Park. Square dances are a lot of fun. How about me? I'll show you the fun. I really like you, Winston. Goodbye. I like you too, Phoebe. Until we meet again. I thought you was milking. Oh, you do look terrible. Oh, honey, I think I'm going to die. Oh, I think you're already getting it. You just ain't noticed. That's all it's for getting for sure. Honey, are you going to tell mom? You ain't going to tell mom, are you? Now, Alan, put your bridges on. I ain't standing to a man standing there under drawers shivering like a gun-shy dog. Where'd you put your shirt? I didn't mean to get drunk or steal that liquor. I told them, boys, them were your bottles. So why just sleep on the cold, cold ground in your under drawers? I think it's coming back to me. I think Willie and Ethan, they got me to believe in we was camped down by the river. Down by the falls. And it was pitch dark. And the stars was blazing. And I was standing on a rock sureer than hell I was on the riverbank. And Willie hollered, dive! And so I stripped down, and I dove, and I think I passed right out. Oh, I feel like shit. All right, now, now, hold it. Before you'll have that. No, sit me on the floor, will you, boy? I told them, boys, them were your bottles, Henry. How come you ain't milking? Well, I left this morning's milking to your folks. I come up here after these. Never thought I'd see them full of whiskey again. I ain't never seen you miss milking. Them bottles must be awful dear to you, Henry. Well, I just want to keep track of them, find out where they were. We was gonna put them in sap buckets. But Willie said we needed bottles from moonshine. Well, the boys are eating the odd and old. They ain't no mine, Alan. But you come up all this way after them. How come them bottles are so dear to you, Henry? Well, I'll tell you, I dug every one of them bottles out of the old overgrown garbage heap by the old man's barn. My father bought and collected every one of these bottles, and it ain't the first time they've had whiskey in them. It's like there's a drunk genie in every bottle. Genie? You believe in all the move life styles? Well, this is more of a tale of a husband. My mother's husband, my father, to be exact. Now, it was his life that got sucked into these bottles. He's the genie, the drunk genie. My mother, she could not live with him, so she made an early exit. Your mama died when he was young, Henry, didn't she? My mama checked out to save the old man in trouble of doing it. He was a terrible raging drunk. He beat all of us. A hell of a hunter and a fisherman, no. We took it rough in them days. He beat us boys nearly every day. It was high up. Work, sleep, take a beating. Well, I'm glad the old man don't beat me. Willie has to take a look in from old Norris when Norris ain't too drunk to thrash him. Come to think of it. Mama, kill all of us if she found out we was up here drinking. Please don't tell Henry we'll turn all your unsmashed bottles back. Where everything went when the house burned. Plows and rakes all gone to hell. Livestock all sold off. There ain't much to take with me. They're pretty. Never thought I'd see him full of moonshine again. Well, we wouldn't took him if we'd known they were so special to you, Henry. Well, Ellen, never mind about the bottle, but you young bucks, you stole that liquor from that whiskey runner named Winston. Now Winston, when he heads back to Boston, he's gonna be heading into a bees nest if he shows up empty handed. Now them fellas that give him a job hauling Norris's hooch, they are not the Salvation Army. They've been in this town and I don't like to look of a violent bunch. Besides, we got revenuers poking around, driving Norris and Martha Mad. See, what did you do with the old bottles or the bottles when you poured the whiskey into these? Did you fill them with water? What did you do with them? That's the worst of it, Henry. You know that big petrol tank down by the Bible camp? Them bottles are filled with gasoline. No. Yes, Henry. Oh. Well, I sure hope old Winston don't smoke too many seagars. Okay, see you, Henry. Thanks for not telling Martha. We'll give all your bottles back. What are you talking about? Ethan, we got us. And we got to get them bottles switched back. Ow, you're still too drunk. Why don't you go take your time to the river again? Ah, that's too close to the fire. Are you sure that all the liquor that this fella's running out of state comes from that still at the bottom of the hill? It's got to be the still that this guy runs the stuff from. And I don't want to just bust up any bootleg operation. I want the guy over chasing when that animal jumped in front of us and we run off the road. Understood, sir. Oswald, I may need you to use your phone later. They might be missing me in Boston. Any time, Mr. Gomstock. Now if I catch this guy, they might take me a little seriously. In Boston, they might put me in charge of the Massachusetts district. If we raid this operation, they might decide that I'm their man for Massachusetts. You know, maybe we could take you with us, Norse. With your law enforcement and experience, I could show you some real investigative work down there. Some real law enforcement. Oh, I think you've shown me some real law enforcement right here. Oh, that's nothing. But you're sure that that shack is a still, huh? It doesn't look like any still I've ever seen. Stuff on the tree's hard enough, but how are they still the liquor in that big flat pan and where are the buckets for it? Oh, that's a still, all right, sir. See, they start with good, hard cider. You heard of that? Well, they fill the tank from the side of the building full of apples and let them go hard. And there's a hose that runs from the tank and drains into a big pan. And they boil it off. The steam rises and the alcohol falls back. And then they tap her off with them buckets and fill them bottles with that funnel. I read about all this stuff in a magazine article. Well, you've done your homework. You have a smart woman in your employ, Norse. She'd make a good employment. Oh, she's smart, all right. No, no, we'd act too smart. All right. I think she's got to handle on this situation, Norse. I think she does. I'm glad I sent her up to stake the place out. Looks like they've abandoned the operation, though, temporarily, perhaps. I've got an eye for these sort of things. Something told me that no one had stepped through the door of that shack for some time. Perhaps the presence of federal agents in town drove them into hiding. Looks like you scared the bootlegs and the jakers away, too. Probably do them some good. Doubt it. Don't know as I've scared all the drinkers off, though. I saw a young fellow down by the sawmill today, uh, sort of, uh, seemed unsteady. He was thrashing about and seemed a little tipsy. Uh, had a cowboy hat on. Oh, dear. I think you may have seen my poor, suffering nephew, Byron. Your nephew is a drunkard on his whole. Heavens knows. You see, sir, he's mentally retarded. An idiot. Why don't we know is he so much idiot? Or mentally retarded. Well, yes, he is. Dr. Sota Flahey told me he's mentally retarded. Well, anyone can see he's not normal. He could never learn in school. He acts funny. And he won't do a thing you tell him to do. Even his mother. Well, can't something be done for him? Can't you find him some medical help or some professional help? Well, as the Lord is my witness, sir, I try my best to do my duty by him since his father died. I often food in a roof over his head and by humble versions of the Lord's teaching. I did take him to the Brattleboro retreat once. I had him in the back seat of my car. He started screaming and thrashing about the minute we left town. It quite rattled my nerves. We stopped for petrol and he ran away about his way back here somehow. Maybe he ain't so retarded after all. Well, yes he is. And a bit crazy. The Lord saved his soul. Well, perhaps you could save him, Oz. You could arrest him for disturbing the peace and then get him to professional help. Well, he don't really disturb bees. People don't get me too nervous by around here. They've kind of taken to him. He goes off with some wild stories. Yes, but he could be a danger to himself. Norris, you should arrest him. Maybe you're right, Norris. Of course I'm right. I'm in the business of protecting people from themselves. Do you realize what liquor has done to this country? And lose morals and gambling? Why, our average fellow has to be watched closely. Or he stumbles and falls when he meets temptation. And think of the trouble that half could cause, even in a town like this. And besides, you don't want people talking Norris. It's bad for your reputation. A sworn officer of the law, even a constable, must be beyond reproach. He must protect his community. Even as a minister, protects his flock. Exactly. Well, I'm so busy on this bull-edger case. And it's such a pleasure watching a big city professional. Well, don't sell your shots, Nickles. You have excellent judgment. Shea, how about you falling down in pursuit of that potential witness? Is your nose better? You know, I think taking a blow to the face in person for justice shows real dedication. Oh, he's dedicated, all right. I'm taking it from the spills. That's no lie. We all take spills. Sometimes you come out smelling like a rose, though. Well, I suppose I ought to go do my rounds in the village. Martha, did you wash my coat? The coat that I need to do my rounds? Martha, did you wash my coat? Gonna do some rounds, huh? See if you can't get yourself to smelling like a rose. That's right. Well, then you better get down there and get your coat. It's ready. Well, thank you, Martha. Just doing my duty, sir. I noticed smoke coming from the chimney this morning. Isn't July a bit warm for a fire? Oh, well, you see, sir, we boiled down the sacks to make maple syrup down the cellar. Sorry, I need the fire to do my washing. Maple syrup in July. A late run. Oh, yeah. Damn good sugar in this year. Well, I'm gonna have to try some of that maple syrup sometime. I'll put some on your pancakes. That will be good. Well, I'd best be off to drown Agent Comstock's pancakes in too much syrup. I'll do my best, Oswald. Well, good night, Mr. Barker. I may be about to use your solo later. I may have to make a very important call to Boston. Anytime, Mr. Comstock. Oswald, I'll show you how. I have to do my rounds in the belly. Maple syrup for things. Hi, Mr. Comstock. Good night, Martha. I'll be damned. Country life. Camp and chill out there. Want some coffee? I got some, huh? Right in the kitchen. I'll get you some. Don't get up. I'll get it. That's a new one on me. Man who gets his own coffee. Heaps to the left of the sink. I got it. We got cream in the icebox. Want some? Oh, no thanks. I take it black. I don't even put maple syrup in. How's that? I put maple syrup in my coffee. I wouldn't imagine you would. I am fond of a maple sugar house, though. I love watching them all night long. But you were staking out a whiskey still. You know there's no still up there. That's a maple sugar house. You're ripping me. Yeah, I uh... I thought it was kind of strange for a moonshine still. I was sitting up there at first. Really upset because Comstock made me go up there by myself and I was going to have to be up there all night long. Then the sunset. It was so beautiful. It calms me right down. I saw that little house there silhouetted against the sky and the mountains. And I remember a book I had when I was a kid that had a picture of a house like that and some men carrying buckets through the snow. That's a damn maple syrup house, I thought. Not a still. Yeah, you pulled the wool over our eyes. You've been had. You're planning on whizing up your boss on this? To hell with Comstock. I didn't see the point of staking the place out. Yeah, I think his whole approach to catching this bootlegger is wrong-headed. He doesn't listen to me anyway. If I get ideas or take the initiative, this is all handled this, Arnold, you just watch. If I dig up critical evidence, he takes credit for it. He's always sucking up to his superiors and the only thing he cares about is cutting a good image and impressing other people. She ain't gonna tell him it's a sugar house? Why should I? Now, I take care of my affairs. I do my job. I'm not gonna do his job. He doesn't appreciate me anyway. So why should I help him? He's still asleep, isn't he? Yep, snoring away. You're pretty hot, then, having to stay up there all night. Well, actually, it was kind of nice. Yeah, the stars were so beautiful. Saw some shooting stars. Yeah, it was just the summer breeze and so peaceful there. Listening to the peepers and watching bats go for bugs and thinking about everything. It was like when I was a kid back in Maryland laying under the stars just dreaming. I'm tired, but I feel calm. I don't know. I feel good. Yeah. This coffee tastes great. What the hell did a sensitive sort like you become a federal agent? Well, I don't really know. I suppose I did it to stay out of the army. My father was a career military man. He fought in the Great War as a captain. He wanted his son to follow in the tradition. Why didn't you go along with the plan? Well, I almost did when I was younger. I just got tired of opposing him. Went down to the recruiter's office and I just couldn't sign those papers. I just froze up. I had no interest in war. I couldn't go into the army, so I moved to Washington, D.C. A friend of mine had a job there with the IRS. You ran into Washington, D.C. to get away from the army? Yeah. Well, when enforcement of prohibition began, my friend got me this job. It was a compromise. Yeah. I mean, I was a salesman back in Maryland when I first graduated university. I don't mind traveling or resting a bootlegger now and then, but on the whole, it's a stupid idea. Now, it just doesn't work out. It's just not a very good job. Why don't you quit? Well, what do I do then? It seems like you don't like what you're doing so well. Well, it seems kind of silly to me. My father drinks on the slide. Half his friends do. The Department of Justice, the Department of IRS, State Department, everybody in government drinks. Prohibition just doesn't work. Yeah, this country just flat out refuses to be saved from itself. Why do you stay in this line of work? Tell your boss, Mr. Comstock, to go to hell. I wish I could just move into that sugar house up there. It's just so damn nice around here. You sure would think it was nice living in a sugar house come January. You wouldn't like it so well around here then. There's some things I like about the job. Yeah, like traveling around, standing at hotels, driving cars, shooting guns. I love guns. You ain't interested in war, but you love guns. Yeah, I always liked guns. My father had a bunch of them lying around. Used to clean them, shoot, ski, hunt squirrels and deer. I got me a gun. Like it. My father gave it to me. I've dropped a gun or two, but never been to camp with the men, who's being a girl and all. It's a Winchester Model 94-30-30. Wanna see it? You ain't really shot a deer with it. To hell with it. When I was a kid, we built, lived on venison. My mother's a better hunter than my father to this day. She's got a dead eye and knows where to find her. I cook you up fresh venison any day you ask, but for Norris is the constable and frowns on Jack and Deer. Wanna see it? 30-30? Model 24. That's a clever action, right? Yeah, that's a woman who's not a gangster's girlfriend or a whore. She's got a gun and she shoots deer. Now that's a new one on me. Keep her in the pantry. Got her oiled up good. That's a real nice one. Keep her real well. Wanna see my gun? It's a 38. Good for one thing only. Would you shoot a man with it? I don't know and I hope never to find out. Chase some bootleggers and all. It's not like the movies. It's not a shootout every day. Besides, I haven't been at it that long. No, I don't know. I've been in this line of work. I might not be able to avoid shooting a person with it though. And maybe you're gonna shoot your boss with it? Good idea. All right. You're a dead man. Is this what I get for a payment? Are you mad? You don't have to do night stay until we get our car back. Please don't shoot. No intention of shooting you. I never did, sir. I'm sorry. It's a mistake. It's the truth, sir. He was just showing me his gun. Damn it! Be more careful, you bloody idiot. You know, maybe you're not cut out to be a federation. You're dangerous. This is going in my report. Oh, Jesus! Go up and shot him! I told you to quit leaving it on the floor. You sure do lie something awful for someone who's all the time hollering about how we should all tell the truth. All right. Thanks for no fooling you. I was thinking about him. Do you like Winston? He's something to look at. He's quite handsome. Did you notice that, too? God, yes. I ain't blind. He could be such a clown. But then turning so romantic and charming. Yeah. Don't fret over it too much. It's like that when you're young. Get our cows to milk in the morning. Good night, Gloria. Thanks. For what? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Boston. Shh. Don't wake anyone up. Come over here. Why don't you come up on the porch? I want you to piece it on here. What's happened? I'm going to get in trouble. Winston, what's the matter? I was driving toward Boston. I got as far as New Hampshire. You know, at first I was really excited. I was behind the wheel again on my way. But then I started to regret leaving. I don't know why. I just had a really good time here. It was dark in the car and speedolight was glowing. I just kept thinking about you. Really? So I decided to pull over at a rest stop and fill up my flask. Well, I was going to get a bottle out of the trunk. And as I'm filling up my flask, I could smell gasoline. So I looked under the car to see if there's a leak in the gas tank or something. And then I realized that the whiskey in the goddamn bottles in my trunk has been switched for gasoline. I've had it. I'm already three days late with this load. Nobody's going to kill me. I mean, really kill me. Or if I'm lucky, I'll just break all of my teeth. But for this, I'm pretty sure it'll kill me. I don't have Boy Scouts, you know. Why don't you just call and explain? Explain that I have a trunk full of gasoline. You don't understand. See what happens when you evolve to this sort of business? Please, Stevie, I don't need moralizing now. I'm sorry. If all this happened last night, where'd you been all day? Well, I had to park the packer in the woods. I got to find out what took my whiskey. Tony's whiskey. How's it going, Henry? Wouldn't do that with it? Not a chance. They're both so honest. I think so. How can I be sure? So I waited until dark, talked to you. I got to find out what took that whiskey. I don't want them knowing back. So I could snoop around, try to find out and stole that load of moonshine. How did you know I didn't steal it? Or that I wouldn't turn you into the rabbit noise? Because... Now you've gone too far. You just came back for your whiskey. All this about missing me is just a story you're telling to soften me up. You're such a bastard. I was glad you were coming back here. But not so cheerful about the fact that I could end up in an early grave if I don't straighten out this mess. Who could have stolen that whiskey out of my trunk? Oh my gosh. I just thought of something. Ethan and Alan and Willie Nichols have been camped up at the Pease Deer Camp since the night before you left. That's it. They must have taken your Tony's whiskey. Where's the camp? Winston, you can't hurt them. They're kids. I don't want to hurt them. I just want Tony's whiskey back. So where's the camp? I could show you, because you'll never find it by yourself. But now I'm not allowed to go to camp. That's the exclusive province of men to go to camp. Besides, I'd have to be crazy to go into the woods with you. I barely know you and you're clearly a maniac. Come on, Punzel. Let down your hair. This is serious business. I'm no punzel. I don't need a rescue. Yes, you do. Then I'm the fair prince who will do it. I'll show you. This time, because you need to get out of danger. But I expect you to be a gentleman. Yeah. Sure, twits. What's to be serious? I'll go get a sweater in case it gets cold out there. Better get a blanket. This isn't a picnic. We won't need a blanket. I'll meet you across the road. Go this way around the front of the house, or you'll get hung up on the fence. You're made it. Be careful with Henry's bottles. Show you traffic now, and you'll maw down your par. Quit your crying about Henry's bottles. It's what's in him that's worth something. There's tires on land to trow. Billy, shh, shh, shh. Don't you trust me. Look who's doing all the battle right now. We gotta get this liquor switch back, fellas. Give her the mud load of liquor just to save some city fella from getting killed. It's not just about that, boys. We gotta give back Henry's bottles. Boys, boys, the bottle's gone. We got some emeralds on that car. Shh. There must be another store filled with whiskey and y'all ready to go. Look, the wheels are back on it. Oh, your old man must have fixed it. What about Henry's bottles? To hell with Henry's bottles. It ain't worth getting shot over. Let's just do these bottles back on the trunk of that car and get the hell back to camp before Winston or some of the Boston mugs finds out. They've got to know by now that the whiskey is not in that car. I ain't scared no Winston, no Boston mugs, either. Look here, big man. Let's just put these bottles back on the trunk of that car and we can go steal a bottle or two from the basement of my old man. Now that wheel is thinking, man. Now wait a second, fellas. I promised Henry we'd get his bottles back. He ain't just gonna let him go. They're important to Henry. His old man drunks on them before he took the pound in them. Them and Henry got sentimental belly. Stop this lover! Winston's sure gonna bring these bottles back from Boston to get refilled. Do you think they'll show up again? So for Henry's sake. Look at those boys. They got cases of bottles of whiskey all the way to the top of that damn hill. If they did, why didn't they do it again now? They walked all the way up there. Where the hell they go? I don't know, but who else could have taken the liquor out of those bottles and put gasoline in them? It had to have been those boys. Theater killing me. Look at the poor little tough guy with sore feet and sand in his shoes. Hey, watch it. Don't mind pride, you know. Are you positive that Carlton and Henry didn't take that whiskey? Not a chance. They're both honest to their fault. Besides, doesn't filling those bottles with gasoline seem like a prank by teenage boys? Wow. All I know is, got about eight more hours until it's open season on Winston Thomas. Tony, you're one of those henchmen who'll be headed out of Boston any minute. Guns, knives, ropes. And a big tub for the blood. Dead man. Ugh. I'm starting to smell that. Stop it, Winston. You're scaring me. He doesn't smell that bad. No. You're scaring me with all this talk of dying. We just have to find those boys and get the whiskey back and those thugs will be satisfied. I gotta hide. Fast. Sometimes. The best place to hide is right out of the open. Let's get you out of these fine city clothes and into some Carlton's overalls. You're already dirty enough to pass for the farmer. Maybe too dirty. Stop it. Peace. Easy. Hell of a boat, boys. It's cold. I'm going to tan some backside. I'm going to find them. They're going to dance in the afternoon off and they best be out. Pan or I'm going to know why. Well, Carl, you know, boys will be boys and they'll turn up. I'm not going to tan their backside. Henry, you know me better than I know myself. Well, I'll let you know, Carl. I make study of people. It's all for example. Just a couple of color right here. Now I could have sworn you were a slick looking city man. And now look, he's a fireman just like me. Yeah. I wish I was here right now, Henry. There's some real hot water. Henry hasn't been in any hot water since. Hey. You're cold, neither. Mr. Pease, I think what Winston is trying to say is things could get dangerous around here. It's never been too safe. I thought it was winter logging and the rise of my lovely wife, Gloria. Yeah, not too safe at all. Brown man, woman. But it'd be a good thing we got to our head. It'd be a good thing too if we could find them boys. Yeah. Yeah, I would. You know where they are? No, we come down to the house from our hand and try to find them and get them down to the load while we're mowing. What do you want with them? It's complicated. Give it a rest. And a rest is just what we'll make of it. If we're going to ever get our car fixed, we'll get to making hay before we get a listen to this boar hog for all about his car. I'm sure there's lots to talk here about with regards to an impending arrest of criminals for violating the Willstead Act. Look here young man, where is your employer? I hope my boss ain't here yet or we're all in trouble. I see a car which is federal property is still in the shed unrepaired. I'd like to talk to the farmer in charge who's supposed to be fixing the car. Where is he? I don't have a lot of time here. I'm on urgent federal business. Yes, sir. Well, Mr. Pease, former Pease has gone after a part. I think he needs to find a sidewinder shaft for your packer. Which I must say is a very fine car. Yes, it is. Very fast. A sidewinder shaft, you say? What's that sidewinder shaft he was going after, was it? Or was it a pearl tree pinion gear? I think it was a pearl tree thingy. No matter. What will our car be fixed is what we want to know. Arnold, I'll handle this. What will our car be fixed to? Well, I think that depends on the availability of pearl tree pinion gear. Sidewinder shafts. Right, honey? Right. Honey. Good thing, young lady, because we've been on the trail of other very dangerous food like runner in the area for some weeks now, and we're very close to making a big arrest. Uh-huh. Dangerous criminal, huh? And a very handsome pellet too, I suppose? Handsome? I guess so. I never had a close look at him. Have you seen anything suspicious? I'll handle this, Arnold. I'll question the witness. Have you seen anything suspicious? He's really not that handsome. Oh, he's not handsome. The criminal? The bootleg runner? Have you seen him? He drives a car just like ours. Please, Arnold! Have you seen him? He drives a car just like ours. I think I know where it still is. It's whole operation. It's disguised as a sawmill. But just stake the place out. He's bound to make his move. We had our car. We could drive down there and arrest him. So, there's bootleg runner. He has a still too. He makes the stuff too. Oh, yes. Everyone knows that stuff is made in the building on the river that looks like a sawmill. But if you just barge in, you'll get away. He's got lookouts and hiding places for his liquor. He's very careful and very, very buttered. I'm not sure he's really that clever. This could be big. This could be work of promotion for me. Arnold, I think we might want to call the reinforcements from the district office on this. Maybe we should go back down to town and telephone in some agents from Boston. Let's just check it out. This sawmill operation, before we call in the cavalry. I have a feeling on this army this could be big. I have a feeling this could be bad for the bootleg runner. Yes. Don't you think so? Charmingly. Pretty smart bootleg runner. And believe me, she's not that charming. And the bootleg runner is really not that smart. Perhaps we should use some caution and get some more information on this operation. Arnold, don't worry too much. Come on, let's go back down to town to make that call. I'll get the credit for this and it will make my career. Oh, Nax! They might have recognized you. Do you want to be arrested and then killed by mobsters? No, the way I think it, you know, the more I think about it, the more I think that being arrested might be a good option. At least I'd have some short-term protection in the lock up. Besides, that fool's never seen me in overalls. All he's ever seen is the back of my head as I outrace him in the packer. You can't go to jail! What about me? Oh, she cares for the criminal? Don't worry sweetheart, I'll get out of this yet. Oh, don't you sweetheart me. You need to get out of this mess and never get into another one like it. I don't want to see you killed or arrested. We have to find those boys and get that liquor back and get you back to Boston with this. You're a last load of liquor. Hey, wait a minute there, honeybunch. I'll just say that if I get out of this alive and a free man, this will be my last load. Do you want to be with me? Well, sure. Then this is your last load. Why didn't you send them down to the sawmill? Why don't you throw your car full of bottles of gasoline as part? As the Bard says, there's a method to my madness. I'd just say there's a stupidity to your madness. Why do you want them camped out in your car? It's the getaway vehicle. Oh yeah, good thinking. I hadn't thought of that. Well, I was just trying to get them to stay in one place while I've straightened this mess out and the sawmill was the first place I thought of. You'd make a good criminal. Wouldn't think some basic intelligence was a prerequisite for the job. So we've got to get down to my car before the fed show up with those whiskey bottles full of gasoline out of the trunk. Then we've got to find those boys and get my Tony's whiskey back. And then after that, we'll just have to see what we can do with those liquor bottles full of gasoline. I bet if we kicked off federal agent Vincent Comstock, he would love to make a raid and seize those bottles when he thinks they're full of booze, not gasoline. Vincent, you absolutely must not hurt that foolish man or anyone else. Gasoline is dangerous. Absolutely. We'll do my best to make sure no one gets hurt. At least of all me. This booze business is supposed to be about having a good time. Not getting hurt. I know there's people in this town saying, look at those nickels. They sure have come down in knots. It's only Grandpa Augustus who was a town physician. He's the only really educated man in town. I hear him whisper about Martha, how I took the maid to my bank chamber. And she is from the lowest of the low, the atlas. Twelve dirty kids come to school with hot potatoes in their pockets for life. Their hands are warm. Smelling like cows and come herding into the school house. I think about this and I get a terrible letdown. The more I think about it, the more I drink. The more I drink, the more I think about I've made practically nothing myself but a meager fortune cooking corn mash. It's good stuff though. Oh, are you alright? Easy, old man. What happened there? It's okay, it's fine. Goodness, I must have dozed off. Long hours doing good police work. Man's at the job, being constable, instructing the maid. And what else does he do? Nothing, Rudolph. Principal Nichols, I think that while you were here studying roadmaps, which I applaud, there's nothing like being prepared, but while you were doing that, we had a bit of a breakthrough in the case today. Yes, sir. A breakthrough. She's damn near had a breakthrough in my not be held. Here I am, weeding in the flower garden and a bottle comes whizzing by and smashes on the road walkway. Settle down, Martha. We don't have time for vandals. We're after Krippelos here. Quite right. Some make quite right with none of you fellas. I'm not quite right too. You're alright as they go, but no, I'm not quite right in the head. As I was saying, constable Nichols, we've made a breakthrough in this liquor-smuggling case and I think we're going to find the motherload of illegal liquor. We have a confidential informant and we now know where they both produce and distribute the liquor. Congratulations are in order. I drink that. You drink to anything. Well, if I drink yet. Which you don't. No, of course not. Why do you think I'm not quite right in the head? You pretend to be doing one thing by enforcing the law when you're really doing altogether something else that has nothing to do with what you say you're doing. What's all this stuff? You're doing something other than enforcing the law? No, we are doing nothing else here, sir. We are enforcing the law. That's all I live for is to enforce the law. Miss, we are the only thing that stands between unfair country and complete debauchery and lawlessness. We never hardly seen lawlessness up here in Vermont until they started making laws nobody wouldn't follow. We didn't get outlaw inhaling and only allow exhaling. You think everyone's gonna hold their breath? We'd all be criminals, scoff laws, breathing both in and out. It'd be a state of lawlessness. Which it is. And we're here to put a stop to that. You're making my point better than I can. Well, I think that's not one subject from you, Martha. Don't you have some cleanin' up to do? We all got some cleanin' up to do. I'm sorry, she can be impertinent. It's all the perting in! Now back to the case. Arnold and I have learned that the song that goes along the river road is in fact a front for a very large bootlegging operation. We've learned that they both produce and distribute the liquor. We heard this from a farm hand. Henry Tokyoist? No, the other farm hand, the younger fellow. Anyway, we need to plant a stake out. And I think we're going to come up aces on this one. This is going to look good for us boys coming up here to hostile farm country and taking out the big mob connections. This is going to look real good. And that's why I'd like Special Agent Chad Anderson to see how successful these field operations can be under the right leadership. Constable Nichols, may I use your phone? Certainly. Certainly. About this farm hand, it wasn't him. Hello, yes. Operator, give me Boston, 526 Federal Building, 38 Commonwealth Avenue. He was some guy that Comstock was questioning about a sawmill operation. No doubt it's a lot like that sugar house operation. A young fellow, just a nice close? No, like a farm hand. He seemed like he was the boyfriend of that school teacher what's her name, Miss Payson. Boyfriend? Really? It seemed that way. Yes, hello. Yes, this is Agent Vincent Comstock. I'd like to talk to Special Agent Chad Anderson, please. Yes, I'll wait. And he's the one who ticked your boss to the sawmill being the big liquor operation. Seemed kind of strange to me. Oh, hello. Hello, Chad. Oh, Mr. Anderson, sir. Yes. This is Agent Vincent Comstock. I'm on to something. Yes, it might involve some very good press for us, sir. I thought you might like to see your picture in the paper. Busting liquor bottles with an axe. Yes, well, if you've been down in the troops and get up here, I have a feeling this is going to be an explosive news story. Can't believe you convinced me to go along with your crazy mission. You're having a bad influence on my behavior. There is nothing wrong with your behavior. You behave with the most help. How poetic. School teacher with loose morals towards criminal for a midnight escapade involving playing tricks on federal law enforcement agents. Oh, it makes a good story for the papers. Or the plot of a dime novel. School marms gone mad. You're amazing. Crap, you're the dark with me. Healthy whole cases of blue-legged whiskey like professional. You're like the Bonnie through my client. Bonnie and Clyde are headed for a sticky end. Look, the only reason I did this foolish, dangerous prank with you is because for some unfathomable reason, that seemed to be fond of you. And I don't want to see you arrested or shot by your colleagues. I feel a little responsible for what's happened here. You're responsible, and now we're sugar. You're not responsible for this. A minute though, you had a blast. It was a little like Halloween night, sneaking around in the dark. I'm just glad we got those bottles out of your car. Right under their noses. But putting them in a sawmill? Putting crates of whiskey bottles full of gasoline in a sawmill? It seems like a really bad idea. What if this stuff blows the place up? Look, they think they're sneaking out a big blue-legged operation down there. It's just gonna keep them on the wrong trail while I get the actual whiskey back. So I have something besides my life for Tony and his boys when they show up. Nothing's gonna blow up. And they never saw us. So they were watching the place in their cars the whole time. We slipped in and out. Like Count Dracula. And his Countess. Count Dracula and his Countess. Count Dracula! Good thing we brought the A4 good son! There you are. Who the hell have you boys been? Oh, by their version of me. You look more like a day neighbor than a drag god. Can't you bother me a haze, Miss Payson? No, boys! Put the weapons down! We'd like to put them down and pick up some fish bowls. But if Pa and Henry don't see us down at the Lord Field quick like, we'll be talking to Ma. Arrogantly. Listen to Ma. Or running from Ma, tool at hand! An easy running with your tool in your hand. Where the hell is my whiskey? We don't, we don't know nothing about no whiskey. Do we? We don't know nothing. Like hell you don't. Now boys, we're going to work this out. Or you'll both be staying after school and maybe get a good with it. I'm in. Quiet, Miss Payson! Now look. The whiskey that you stole. We didn't steal the whiskey. Don't know why we'd steal whiskey. You're both lousy liars and I know that already. So listen, here's the problem. Listen here. You stole the bootleg whiskey you stole or the car you stole at Apple. The whiskey belongs to his employer and this employer disciplines his employees by killing them. This employer is worse even than a school teacher. Bad as they are. It sounds bad. You're worse even than a school teacher. So boys, just give me the whiskey back, okay? And whatever kind of containers you put it in and then I'll tell you where you can find those bottles you filled. Gasoline. You're going to put them back. There haven't been so much in the bottles in the back of the shed. We filled them up and drank some. Don't need to tell them every little thing. But I don't care about one or two gone. Just give me the rest back. Where is it? Well, we put all the bottles in the back of your car the day before last. Your car's gone. So you must know where they are. We put the bottles in the back of your car the day before yesterday. I knew you did. My car wasn't even here the day before yesterday. Wait! The stuff must be in the back of Agent Vincent Comstock's car. Carlton fixed their revenues car after he fixed yours Winston. They put the bottles back in the wrong car. Oh, good plot. Thickens. Just like my blood will thicken. Tony and his boys spill it all out on my body. I'm done in now. I've had it. God, you're so dramatic. I think we can get you out of this. Do you have a criminal mind now? I'm not of the sort. I'm just trying to get you out of this jam. We just have to figure out how to get those bottles out of Agent Vincent Comstock's car without them seeing us do it. We're talking cases of what's in here. Crates, actually. Henry put his old bottles in crates. So what is all this about Henry's old bottles? Well, when we stole the liquor and filled them up with gasoline we put the liquor in bottles that Henry had kept from off his old family farm. The bottles is drunk of an old man who used to pickle himself and torture the whole world. We better get down to the lower field for him not to see us. Okay boys, you go, Moe. I'll take care of the hands. Winston here can, I don't know, hide, I guess. At dusk we'll come back together by then Comstock and his man will be saking out the place. We can figure out how to create a diversion like make a commotion in the sawmill and when they respond we'll swipe the liquor right out of the back of his car. You are brilliant. Except you heard Comstock. He's going to have a troop of federal agents with him. He's sitting in the reserves in Boston. We'll just have to create a diversion big enough so they all close in on the back. But they're bound to leave a rear guard. They're not going to lead Comstocks and the other cars unguarded. But they at least will be sitting in Comstock's car. Comstock will be sure to be leading the charge and if they don't all close in on the mill they at least won't be watching Comstock's car. We can see him in their rear. Get the whiskey, load it in your car and you can get back to Boston with this. Your last load ever, right? I wonder what Snorri Snick was going to do all the whiskey he makes if Winston don't truck it down the city for him. Is Foster Wheelock supposed to feed all his corn mash to cows? Oh God, what a waste that would be. Corn mash for cows. I gotta keep running the whiskey as a public service. Winston, I can't believe you could one minute be moaning about the dangers of being killed by thugs and then actually making excuses for continuing your criminal career. Strange, isn't it? Well, we better get down to Laura Field before we get an ass whippin'. Sorry Miss Basin, a butt whippin'. Okay boys, just meet us up at the camp around dusk. We can see the road out by the mill pond from there and we can see how many men are manning the stakeouts and then figure out how to create that distraction and get them away from Constock's car. Yes boss. I think two boys better better get out of this door and get them out of here. Please don't mind us using their camp when it ain't hunting season. It's a lovely view. Must be good for you to get out of that house down there, isn't it? I guess so. I get so angry with the way Constable Nichols treats you. He shows no respect for you at all. You don't show respect for his own self. Why do you stay? Isn't there another place you could live? Couldn't you go home to the farm? Look Arnold, you're a good fella but I don't know as I want to tell Mr. Lawman all my secrets. Please, Martha, don't look at me that way. I'm not like Agent Comstock. I'm just an ordinary guy trying to make his way. Wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Besides, I know what's going on. I know, Nichols is making hooch in the basement. I've seen the fruit of looks and I tried to lock door. Why don't you make an arrest and be a hero? I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Martha. Ain't that sweet. You just like me because I own a gun and can shoot deer. You ain't never seen a woman who can shoot deer. Well, maybe you're right. I suppose maybe you've become very special to me in such a short period of time because you can kill innocent animals. Well, there's worse reasons for fancy in a gal. So please, Martha, trust me. I swear I won't turn you into my employer. Tell me, why do you stay at Nichols' house? You aren't really just a maid, are you? I ain't saying. Norris, he's, well, he's like a child. He ain't never grown up. When he wants a thing, he don't care about the consequences. We hardly have money for groceries and he decides to hire a plumber to fix all the plumbing that burst three years ago. You're living without plumbing? Just a bathroom. Yeah, it froze up and the turlet burst and all the pipes. But we got an outhouse out back, works just fine. You just hang the turlet seat behind the stove and take it with you when nature calls. Instead of calling that good enough, we about starve just so Norris can do his duty indoors. He has digestion problems. Farts like a horse. Yeah, very delicate talking about flatulence. A frightened mare will never tire. Well, your frightened man's the man to hire. Very good. But if you don't like living with a man, why don't you try and get a job and live on your own? What kind of job could I get? Why don't you get married? You think I ain't got enough problems but what I want to get some man to be my boss around the clock? I wouldn't try and be your boss. This an offer of marriage? What would old Norris do without me? He doesn't deserve you. Besides, he's got it coming. Look, I don't know whether marriage suits me or not, but I can't stand to see you in a pickle with a barrel full of drunks. Well, like it or not, we all of us got to deal with drunks whether it's liquor or their own cell if they're drunk on. Some of your actual inebriates ain't so bad. Some of your sober crowd are a fair bunch of lunatics. I admire your resignation, but what do you want for yourself? Do you want to go on propping up that bootlegging buffoon? Oh, I guess it's just my lot in life. Can't see leaving Willie and Norris to the mercy of town like Byron Barker. Byron, he's an odd one. That's why the town don't like feeding it. He just ain't like a normal person. He has a need to put things back. What do you mean, put things back? Well, one time, he stole all the eggs out of the ice box down at Killrin's house down in the village, stuffed them all back under the hens in the henhouse. Then another time, I'm out digging in the vegetable garden. I got a basket of carrots all dug up. I go to Harvesty Onions, come back. Byron had snuck in and planted all them carrots back in the garden. Another time, he shoveled all his uncle Oswald's snow back onto the walkway after his poor old uncle had just finished shoveling it off. He's odd. He just has to put things back where they've been moved from. I wonder if he could put my heart back. What? Oh, no, nothing. Just thinking out loud. That's a nice change. Most of the men I've had to do with just get loud without thinking. What's called in? Only it ain't quite the army he was expecting. Looks like only one car has come to join the fun. Yeah, we better get down there. Comstock will want to know where his fateful lieutenant is. We need to talk about me being a maid. By the woods at the edge of Rosson's hayfield, one of them is Comstock's, but I have no idea who the other might be. A reinforcement for its sake, I have no doubt. I think you're right. So now, my evil criminal mastermind, how are we going to create a diversion to get him away from Comstock's car? Have we bought this through yet? Let's just wait until the boys get here and we'll figure it out. Oh, yes. Those little hazy boys are going to show us how to trick the revenue into allowing us to seal the liquor they themselves stole and stashed the revenue's car. Splendid idea. You'd be surprised. Here they come now. You were supposed to be here at 7.30. It's going to be dark. We're sorry, Miss Payson. Yes, sorry. Really hit one of them bottles we took out of Winston's, Mr. Comstock's car rather, and he's been at hard. I'm talking hard. Miss Payson. How are you in? And we'll breeze to the tower's scoring session. Willie, we're not in the village. Willie, what have you done with yourself now? Drunk in a boar hog. The vice coming up the hill. My good man, the nickels meant to knock you. We are above the pew. Right down the pew, I'd say. Wallowing. Like father, like son, I'm afraid. I am afraid of my father. That's not what I said. Willie, why don't you come and lay down here in the draft for a while? I am afraid of the old bastard. I have some shoe in my snowshoes. But if I must ask you, I might go. Oh, he's stopped now, but it ain't pretty. Guys, we have business to attend to here. We can take care of Willie later. Now, how are we going to create a distraction at the mill and get those revenues away from those cars? If only we had a bomb. A bomb? Are you nuts? What if we dropped a bomb from the airplane? Be realistic. I was just saying, if we had a bomb, get them away from the cars. That's an idea, mister. But it ain't a good idea. If only Winston. Not a good idea, Winston. We don't want to blow the hell out of all this mill. I didn't say you could call me Winston. Not a good idea, Winston. We don't want to ruin all of this mill. So, what's your great idea? I'm thinking. Well? What do you think? Try getting them to stop thinking. I've got it. Told you. Got what? There's a wood stove in the shop in the back of the mill. We don't need a bomb. We can sneak up in through the belts and pulleys by the flume and start firing the wood stove. Then federal boys will see the smoke. Things are still being fired up and come around. Yeah, I get it. Perfect. I told you the boys were clever. I'm not too clever. We're getting us into this mess in the first place. Hey! Let's just let bygones be bygones. It's worth a try. But you can't just walk through the front door while they're watching the place. Do you boys know how to get through the belts and the pulleys without being seen? We've smoked many a stone cigar in the green hopper of that mill. We can sneak in there and broaden. Got nobody seeing us. We can by God. Okay. You boys go down there and you sneak on the other side of the river. Winston and I can go up through the woods on the other side of River Road and sneak up behind the cars where their revenues are staking the place out. After you get the fire lit, just get out of there and be very careful not to light any fires near those bottles of gasoline. The cops closing on the mill will get the whiskey from Comstock's car, will haul it through the woods to Winston's car, and he can be on his way well before they figure out that what they think is whiskey is actually gasoline. Sure. I'll kill you, bastard. Sit if I don't. What a time for a tatlum in a jester. Oh, my ankle. Better. Here I am. Locally famous bull legged, town constable, leading citizen, and I got not one, not two, but three revenues capped out at my house, making my home the headquarters for their law enforcement operation. It is. Well, they'd better leave well enough for long. So all these federal agents that staked out all this mill as a bull legged opera, they could haul this mill as a bull legged opera. Oh, Mark. Damn seagars. It's all my medicine. Where have you been? I took a little walk up the hill to piece this camp. Looks like our visitors are gathering down by the river on Mill Road. Someone told them all in the mill was a bull legged opera. They left me sitting here where there really isn't still, so they could go be heroes. They want me to call the Times Art as soon as possible. So they come down, take pictures of them, making the rest and smashing up whiskey bottles. They plan on making a raid as soon as they see some action. Oh, I think I'm seeing some action right here. Why don't you go use the new turtlet and get it over with? Well, with the good thing, I have that bathroom fixed. I hate to have to go out back like we did when we had to out have. You're going to cause an explosion in there. We'll all wish you'd done your duty out back. Son of a suffering man. Why don't you just kill him? I'll kill you, you old bastard. What? Hush him to shame! Well, he might don't. Get the hell out of my way! Willie! He's a drunk! Willie, you're drunk. Don't you know this town is crawling with cops? You don't even know what you're saying. He's your own father. He's a drunk, but he's your drunk. Right now, you aren't much better than he is, except your gut's healthier and you're younger. Too damn young to go to jail. That's right, Willie. You listen to Martin. I'm too young for your shot. Are you too young to shoot me and go to jail? I think you need to sleep this one off. Let's get you to your room. Sure, just let me shoot him. Well, yeah, you're probably right. Maybe next time you get hammered, I'll let you shoot your dad with my deer rifle. Give you something to look forward to. They saw something else and they took off down Mill Road in their cars. There's no way Ethan and Alan had time to get a fire lit. They must have seen something else and felt they had to move in fast. But I thought they would drive those big cars down Mill Road. Winston, I think I saw something else down by the mill before Comstock and his men moved down there. Over an hour ago, I saw someone in a white cowboy hat. It had to be Byron Barker. What Byron Barker be doing at the mill? He sleeps there sometimes, but this time he looked like he was carrying something and moving a lot faster than usual. That must be why they moved in so fast, but it was getting pretty dark and I'm not sure about this. What about the boys? Where were they? I mean, didn't they have time to sneak into the mill before the cops descended on me? Oh, God, you're right. They would have just been getting inside the mill when Comstock and his men moved in there. Think I've been in trouble. Good Lord, I've never gone so fast in my life as when those cars took off with us sneaking up so close. I hope Ethan and Alan are all right. You can hide, right? I mean, they're good at hiding. Both stash of whiskey bottles in the mill. If the Federals catch the boys with those bottles, they'll be in big trouble and it will be my fault. No, Phoebe. No. It'll be your fault. It'll be mine. I don't want to have got us into all this. I'm sorry, really. But it's not Fred. I mean, it's not going to be an easy thing for those city boys to catch Ethan and Alan. And let's not forget, there's no whiskey in those bottles. They're full of gasoline. But those boys are like St. Ducks in there. And they would have just been getting inside the mill when Comstock and his men graded the place. And there were five of them. And they had guns. And these boys are in there with a bunch of bottles of gasoline. That was gasoline in that bottle you were about to drink out of. And if you hadn't lit it on fire with your goddamn cigar, you would have drunk half of it and died on the spot if I know you and your lack of consideration. Gasoline? Well, no one ate in a cellar hole. When you chucked that burning bottle down cellar, she lit the whole mess of bottles that was full of gasoline down there on the storage shelves. Robin Byron Barker, Winston, Comstock and the Revenuers, School Teacher, Pease Boys, Ethan and Alan, and your own dear son, Willie. Oh, Jesus. I don't think I want to hear that tale. I'm just glad the flames blew all the shit where I jumped that gasoline. Yeah, might as well look on the bright side, right? Well, I don't see it as much bright in this situation, really. Well, you personally are not too bright, that's for sure. God damn it, Marker! I came up here to a big theater conference band, and instead, this silly stakeout, the arrest of the year, turns out to be two teenage boys with two bottles of booze and a sawman. What the hell do you mean by this, Comstock? Sir, every indication was that we had gone to the source of a very large operation. This looked like a big event, sir, by every indication. But two bottles? Let me crack them open instead of booze to find gasoline, gasoline, Comstock. That's good. Gasoline, Comstock's what we'll call you now. Oh, gasoline, Comstock. All right, have your badge and your gun. Yeah, take his badge and his gun. I mean, he had a stakeout, a sawmill, because we'd gotten a tip off from a farmhand. He swore it was a bootlegging operation, and before that, the big operation was what? A sugar house. Yeah, Vincent here had a stakeout, a maple sugar house. Shut up, I'll handle this. No, you shut up, you big idiot. All of your career is on the line here. My career as a federal agent is over. Actually, video boy, why don't you kiss my ass? Now you got him. You better think carefully about what your dear old dad might feel about you throwing away a career in the government. Speaking of throwing away your career, Comstock, you're very close to earning yourself a desk job in Hoboken. Or maybe a jail cell. Sir, my name is Phoebe Payson, daughter of Massachusetts Senator Reginald Payson. You may have heard of. I'm a school teacher in this town, and I know a thing or two about what's going on here. Sure, I'm sure. Of course I know Senator Payson, great American. I don't know what Agent Vincent Comstock here has been telling you about illegal liquor-gunning operations, but I think you should have a good look in the back of his car, sir. What in Lord's name are you talking about? There's only Vermont dirt in the back of my car. Why don't we just march into the driveway and have a look? What do you say, mister? Oh, Anderson, special agent Chad Anderson. Nice to meet you. By the way, I'm in this room. Indigestion. Don't stop, Martha. Keep, let him have it. I'm so busy. Especially, Jane Anderson. Chad. Shall we have a look and see what's in that car? I have nothing to hide. I came all the way down here from the Berry, Montpelier, Dines, Argan. I made some photos of public servants, heroes, actually, busting up cases of bootleg liquor. My editor says you're going to run it front page. Love the tholes. This is excellent. Excellent. You want your criminal act copped from the front page? My criminal act? I'm the one making the bust here. Why don't we take a picture? Why don't you hang around until we find the confirmant? I'm sure to find it soon. Let's just take a look in those cars. What do you say, Comstock Anderson? I have nothing to hide. You'll see. Yes. Let's have a look, Comstock. And I will take pictures. The witch is a photographer for the newspaper. I'll be damned. I had no idea the teacher girl was the daughter of a senator. I'm the one who'll be damned. Well, you sure will. Can I have a word with you, Martin? Alone? Mister, what have you got to say to the maid? Don't, mister, me. I know she's no maid. She is a full-on bootlegger. And you are nothing but a drunken old hog. Well, anything you got to say to her, I got her right here. She is in my employ. You're employed and a pig's eye I am. Well, you get room and board for your service. Martha, I have just given up my career for you, and I would hate to see you go to jail. I could care less about this man, but I know the two of you will mostly you, Martha, are making whiskey in the basement. No more we ain't blown to shit. But if you decide to quit your job or not, or arrest us or not, well, that's your own business. I didn't have nothing to do with that. Well, I've been thinking, and I've grown really fond of you in the last week, and I was wondering if maybe it ran both ways, and maybe you kind of fancy me, too. Well, you are fancy. Well, that's enough of that. Because I own a gun and could shoot deer. Well, that's true, too. What does an urban, well-educated man like yourself see in an old woodchup cow kid squeezing far and down like Martha? I ain't that old. I'll take you to Washington, D.C. with me. We can make a life together. I'm not going to know Washington, D.C. Out of girl, Martha. Don't add a... You, Arnold, are gonna stay here and help me fix up this mess, and you're gonna help bone Norris make bootleg whiskey. Oh, no, he isn't. Oh, yes, he is. He has a mind, too. Only other way this way is gonna go is if you and maybe me are going to jail. Martha, you want me to stay here with you in Constable Nichols' house and take up the bootlegging business? Oh, there's plenty of good money to be made. Also, I live here, and I ain't movin'. You're about as good a fella as I'd like to get around here, Arnold. I like you all right. It'll be handy to have an actual man around the house. Well, don't I have something to say about this, Martha? Are I...? You must want to go to jail. Actually, you're not. You're not an actual man. You're about as useless as tits on a bulb. Do you hear the way she talks about me? Do you see the way she looks at me? It's another thing I don't like about it. I cook his supper. I keep his house. I mine his hens. I shovel his wok. I feed his kid, close his kids, pay the groceries, pay the bills, mow the fuckin' lawn. Stagley! Good career chain! A listy shot after all. Now, this is a great story. Special agent called up to help with a big arrest. Instead, he ends up arresting his own subordinate for a violation of the Bulstead Act. I have no idea at all how those cases of Woosky got in the back of my car. No doubt I've gotten a load of Woosky and those old bottles. That's what we intend to find out. Now, calm down. If you talk, you may not go to jail. You've already lost your badge, but you've still got a lot to lose. My assistant agent, I don't know about it for me. I have nothing to do with the Woosky smuggling. I've been up here doing law enforcement, good police work. I've had faith for over two weeks. No, I spell number two all right. Well, actually, now that I've quit my job with a service, I have to say that's in here has been acting mighty suspicious. Hasn't he, Martha? Norris? Oh, he's pretty damn suspicious all right. That's right. Very suspicious. Well, there you have it, Comstock. I've burnished my reputation and you are going to jail. It's not possible. What I want to know is why that photographer didn't just take us out back and get some good shots of us busting up those bottles. He did say something about the light in the background. He said if he took the bottles down the road and set them up artistically, the way they did. He might get a much better shot and it could be reproduced by the local papers. They even end up in the Boston Globe. So they're taking the bottles and setting them up so that we can get a better shot of busting them up with the max. Yes, that's right. He'll call us when they're all set up. I think he must be a very talented young photographer. I'd have to agree with you there. Maybe everyone would like to have a cup of tea in the kitchen while we wait. Sittin' up photographs, especially when you're as much of an artist as that photographer. You know, that takes time. I've been to here. I dreamt that explosion. I wish I dreamt that. I got me one hell of a hangover. Me too, boy. Me too. So these are the bottles that Henry dug up from the cellar hole at his family's old farm. What is so special about them? He just feels there all he has left of his family. He's going to destroy his father, and later his whole family came in these bottles. You think he'd want to be rid of them? Well, he doesn't. He cherishes them. Get the booze back into some other containers and get Henry's bottles back to him, okay? Okay, your highness. Now, you're catching on. Queen Phoebe, the senator's daughter. I had no idea you were senator Pazen's daughter. Well, I had no idea you were a photographer. That was very clever of me. You say so yourself. I got the whiskey back. Now I'm headed south to find Tony, take my beating and give him his whiskey and his car. And then you know what you'll do after that, right? Oh, yes. I'm going to come back here and make sweet love to you every day. No, Winston. I'm going to call my father, the senator, and he's going to put a clever young man on his staff, and you're going to get the hell out of the bootleg running business. Well, then why don't I just stay on the farm and stay here in Vermont? Be with you. You wouldn't last ten minutes with a hay rake. You need the city. You know it's true. Why don't you come with me? I can't stand the city. I left that behind. I want to make my life here in Vermont. All right, well, then how about Burlington? Probably. Breathe in. Long keelier. Maybe someday. I do love you, Winston. You need to get some credentials. You've got some good job experience that doesn't involve breaking the law. Work for my father. Do well. And then we'll see if this will all come together. Or not. You best pack this liquor up and get the hell out of there. Or get the hell out of here. I kept them thinking that the photographer was coming to get them for the big picture in the paper, but I can't keep them any longer. They need the bottles for evidence, and they still want their picture in the paper. That's right, old boy. Get yourself going. Come back real soon for some whiskey, because I've joined Martha here in the bootlegging business. Oh, I see. I was just going to say, I'm done with that. Now you've gone one way, and I'm going the other. Now you're going to take the back door, and I'm going to use the front door. Change positions. I'm going straight. Are you on the wild side? I don't know, as I'd exactly call him, wild. Winston here is going to lead a decent life as a bright young man on Senator Payton's staff. Aren't you, Winston? Yes, dear. Now, will you help me load this whiskey? Packard's down by the water trough. What do you know? Winston comes to Vermont to pursue a life of crime, and he ends up in a strait job because of a girl. I come to Vermont to pursue a career, and end up in a life of crime because of a girl. Then girls can be mighty persuasive. You think he's really going to go straight? Parents saying, not knowing. The explosion of blue doors has his new bathroom all the hell. Digestion. We used to eat indoors, and sit on the two-holer outdoors. Nowadays, with these new fashions, we eat outdoors and sit on the turlet indoors, and you see what's come of it.