 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildersleeve. Gildersleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers and importers of the world's favorite cheese, now brings you a new triumph of cheese making. It's Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese, sliced and sealed by Kraft for your convenience. Natural Swiss cheese is the kind with the holes. Try Kraft Natural Swiss soon. We're sure this new addition to the Kraft family of quality foods will become one of your all-time favorites. Most harbingers of Christmas are beginning to appear in the shop windows and the great Gildersleeve is painfully conscious of this as he walks down the street this morning. One of the penalties our water commissioner pays for his popularity is the long list of Christmas presents he must buy. Right, George, the stores look great. The man doesn't want to be tempted. He should walk down the street with a sack over his head. Even Peabee has his windows all tricked up. What does the sign say? Come in today and take advantage of Peabee's after Christmas sale. After Christmas. Oh, hello Peabee. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. What can I do for you today? You can explain why you have that sign in the window. To get curious people like you in the store. Peabee, I'm not curious. You're in the store. Yeah, all right. Why are you having an after Christmas sale before Christmas? Well, if I don't sell the stuff before Christmas, I'll have to put it on sale after Christmas, you know. Why not sell it now? Peabee, you're pretty true. I think so. At least I'm a month ahead of the other merchants. What can I sell you, Mr. Gildersleeve? Oh, don't start on me yet. I thought you might want to bring Yuletide Joy to somebody's heart with a hot water bottle, I mean. Yes. We haven't been attracted to colors this year. Baby blue with pink stoppers is sorry, Peabee. But I'm being very careful about my purchases this year. I'm not throwing my money to the wind. I'm not asking you to do that. Just toss a little in the store. I will, I will. The problem with me is I get carried away with a holiday spirit. Every year it takes me until Thanksgiving to pay my Christmas bills. You don't take. Getting so, that's what I have to be thankful for. And bills can be a problem if you let them get away from you. You bet. Now, here's my check from the water department. It should take us through the month. As the time Leroy taps me for his Christmas money and I buy a few things, it'll be gone. And it took me 20 years to work out a solution to that problem. Oh, I called a family conference. What did you do, Peabee? Mrs. Peabee and I took our month's earnings and put it out on the table. And I said, Mrs. Peabee, this money is as much yours as it is mine. Now, how do we get rid of it? Oh, how did she get rid of it? She didn't. She put it in the bank. She, women don't like to spend their money. They just like to spend yours. That sounds like a good idea. Yeah, I might try it on Leroy. That's what I'm saying. You let him in on the family finances and he'll share the responsibility of staying within the budget. Well, it worked with Mrs. Peabee. All I can do to get car for out of town, no. No, Peabee. But I've got an ace in the hole. I've never told Mrs. Peabee that I'm getting 35 cents for malls. You haven't? That's not all. One day a traveling man came in for lunch and he left a quarter on his plate. I didn't tell her about that either. Peabee, you know you don't keep any secrets from Mrs. Peabee. You know, I wouldn't say that. Have you seen Leroy? Leroy's study? It is getting close to Christmas. Yes. Well, when he finishes, I'd like to call a family conference. Something wrong? No. I have a little idea. I want to sell Leroy. You know how he runs through money at Christmas time. Oh, he's got a list of things a mile long he wants to buy. Well, on my way home, I stopped at the bank and cashed my salary check. That's good. The grocery man and the milkman left their bills this morning. You're not so fast, Bertie. That's not why I cashed the check. No, sir. At least I want Leroy to see the money before it's all gone. Yes, sir. Hi, Aunt, what's up? Leroy, I'm calling a family conference. Oh, for corn's sake. I'll go back and study. Wait a minute. This one's going to be different. You mean somebody can talk besides you? We are going to decide what to do with our monthly paycheck. What do you mean, our? I'm glad you asked. Come over to the table here and sit down. Okay. I got no money. What can I lose? If this don't concern me like the instance of raising salary, Bertie will go to the kitchen. We'll excuse you, Bertie. Yes, I thought so. Of course, this may have some bearing on a future raise if Leroy cooperates. Yes, sir. Leroy, attention to us. Come on, Aunt, let's get back to that check of ours. Well, here's our monthly salary and cash. I'll put it right here on the table. Yay. Looks a lot bigger all spread out. Don't be deceived. There's a place for every penny. And it's up to you and me to put it in the right place. Yeah? It's half yours, you know. Okay, I'll take my half. I got places for it. Leroy. Hands off. But you said... Just a minute. You didn't listen to all I have to say. Oh, sorry, Aunt. The sight of money made me flip my lid. Yes, yes. I've got Christmas presents to buy. Well, that's why we've called the meeting. Something tells me I'm coming out on the short end of this deal. In the long run, we'll both benefit. Are we going to spend this money willy-nilly during the holidays and be in debt for months, or shall we live within our budget? Have we got a budget? Well, our paycheck's our budget. We have just so much for food, so much for clothing, your schooling, and for the rainy day that always comes. Why do you need more money when it's raining? Leroy, this is serious. Boy, is this? Oh, where was I? Oh, yes. Next summer, you'll want to go to camp. I'll say. And if we watch it through the holidays, chances are we'll have the money for it. Hey, King! So, I believe we've decided we won't spend it for Christmas. Wait a minute. How am I going to buy my presents? It's only December 2nd. Plenty of time to earn money outside and not touch the family coffers. Well, this will help me go to camp. Yes, indeed, my boy. I can work after school at the corner grocery. There are a lot of little jobs you can pick up and make Christmas money. Oh, heck, I'm not worried about me. But what are you going to do for outside money? Me? You'll need a lot. You've got so many girlfriends. Well, of course I'm the wage owner. Ah, you mean you can spend our money, but I can't. Well... But deals are... But... You tried to trap me. Well, Leroy... You want to spend our paycheck, but you don't want me to. Yeah, I don't want either one of us to. I mean... Okay. We don't buy presents unless we earn extra money. Either one of us. Well, when you put it that way... That's the way you put it. Yeah, but both of us earned him spare money for Christmas. Now he's back in house. What do you think, Bertie? Well, they say what's salt for the goose is salt for the gambler. Yeah. But, Leroy, I'm water commissioner. I have no time for earning money on the outside. Well, I've got to go to school. But I'm going to make time, so why can't he, Bertie? What's salt for the goose is salt for the gambler. We know that. Okay, I've got to let you off the hook. What? I just wish you wouldn't bring up these things and then let me down. Well, let's spend the money, willy-nilly. If that's how you feel, we'll both earn our own Christmas money. That's nice. What's salt for the goose is salt for the gambler. Hey. Well, I'm a goose forever starting this. Ian Bessie hasn't come to the office yet. What a secretary. Oh, well, she may not be the smartest secretary in the world, but she's honest. You know, it's this. Oh, a note she left in the typewriter last night. Yeah, let's see. Dear Mr. Gildersleeve, sorry I am late, but my alarm clock didn't go off this morning. Oh, my goodness. Who does she think she's kidding? Good morning, Mr. Gildersleeve. Good morning, Bessie. I guess you got my note. Yes, I did. Hey, Bessie. Yes, sir? When you wrote that note last night, how did you know your alarm wouldn't go off this morning? I knew I wouldn't set it. It would be silly to write you that note and set my alarm clock by that would be telling a fib. If Bessie, you've been late to work practically every morning. Yes, sir. Why is this? Mr. Gildersleeve, I know it upsets you when people know you're late to the office, so I stay away until after you come, so you won't be embarrassed. Go on, found it, Bessie. From now on, let's be here on time. Yes, sir. Do you want to start dictating right away, or do you want to go in your office and think about what you want to dictate first? Well, I'll admit, I have some thinking to do. Come into my office, Bessie. Am I going to think with you? I want to bounce some ideas off you. Oh, yes, sir. Bessie, I'm afraid I've been maneuvered into what could be an embarrassing situation. Oh, don't worry, Mr. Gildersleeve. It isn't the first time. Bessie, will you just listen and refrain from comment? Oh, that's right. You just wanted to bounce the ideas off me, didn't you? Yes. You know, what I'm getting at is I made an agreement with Leroy that we both earn our own Christmas money. Isn't the water department still paying you, Mr. Gildersleeve? I get a trickle. But this year, we're not touching the family funds. I have to get it on the outside. Now, what would you do, Bessie? I demonstrate mud packs. Mud packs? Yes. I saw an ad for somebody to sit in Hogan Brothers' window and demonstrate mud packs. That's what I do. Bessie, make a public display of yourself? Well, who knew who I was with mud on my face? Zeke. Bessie, this has to be something I can do. It has to be dignified work. It is something I can do without having people know I'm doing it. Well, that's what I like about mud packs. Forget the mud packs. Yes, sir. You could sell Christmas cards. Please, Bessie. Well, you could do it at night when nobody could see you. Bessie, you'd better run along. You don't need me? No, I'll bounce my ideas off the wall. You mean I can go for the day? No. Hello? Anybody home? We have a call, Mr. Gildersleeve. Well, close my door and see what is. Yes, sir. Now, let's see. What can I do to earn Christmas money? You know, I need quite a bit this year. I have to buy something for Leroy, Birdie, the mayor, and Bessie. Pee-wee and the Jolly Boys. And unfortunately, I'm going with quite a few girls. Irene, Grace, May. Excuse me, Mr. Gildersleeve. It's a cute insurance salesman. Well, tell him I'm not. Hello there, Commissioner Gildersleeve. Tell him to come in. Yes, sir. I think he's in. Commissioner, my name's Riley. How do you do, Mr. Riley? Sorry, but I have all the insurance I need. You always have all the insurance you need until you really need it. It was true, but I take my insurance from a relative. Our company has a new policy that I'm sure a far-sighted man like you will be interested in. You know, perhaps, if I didn't take from a relative. Well, one of our services is reviewing your insurance program, making recommendations. You know, like I say, I leave that to the relative. I know most of the insurance people in town. Perhaps I know this relative of yours. No, no, you wouldn't know him. Distant relative. Well, I'd like to write a policy and make a little extra as Christmas money, but it's nice to talk to you anyway, Commissioner Gildersleeve. Yeah, wait a minute. Christmas money, you say? Oh, I could use some. Well, I have a lot of calls to make. We're a little shorthanded at the office. Yeah, Mr. Riley, I was just wondering. I know a lot of important people and good prospects. And maybe we can both make some Christmas money. Are you serious, Commissioner? Yeah, many an important man as a sideline, stocks, bonds, insurance. Fine. I'm in charge of the office. If you think you can sell, bring your prospects around. Yeah, well, George, I might do that. I'll look forward to hearing from you. You may hear from me sooner than you think. I hope so. Goodbye, Commissioner. You're right. Bessie. Bessie, I want to talk to you about insurance. I take from a relative. Oh, cool. Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. Tonight, I want to tell you about a wonderful new treat from Kraft. It's Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese, made in this country by Kraft. Slice by Kraft and sealed by Kraft in handy airtight packages. Natural Swiss cheese, you know, is the kind with the holes. And it used to be that most of this good cheese with the holes was imported from Switzerland. 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The great Gildersleeve thought it was a good idea this year to persuade Leroy to earn his Christmas money and not take it out of the family budget. And before the water commissioner knew what was happening, Leroy had him agreeing to the same thing. Right, George. It was a stroke of luck when that insurance man walked into my office. I'd never thought of selling insurance in my spare time. He's dignified and necessity and doesn't interfere with my water job. I can just direct prospects to Riley and collect my commission. Yeah, I'll see if I can help Phoebe with some insurance. Hello, Phoebe. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. What can I do for you? Yeah, I want to talk to you. And I'm bidding right now. You, well, put down your pen and listen to what I have to say. This is serious. It's no sense. I'm writing a check. Suppose something happened and you couldn't write checks. You mean like if I ran out of ink? No. And I got a whole shelf full of it. I know. Red, blue, green, purple, black, blue, black. You're all right, all right. What kind of ink do you want, Mr. Gildersleeve? I don't want any ink. Well, then why are you afraid I'd run out? I didn't say that. You weren't listening. I'm talking to you about preparing for the future. You don't change it. It's only as a friend that I'm calling this to your attention. But let's face it, we're here today and gone tomorrow. Not anywhere you'll be, but I'm going to be here tomorrow. You can't be too sure. I have to be. It's Mrs. Phoebe's birthday. Well, if you don't care about yourself, think of Mrs. Phoebe. I'm not likely to forget her. Mrs. Phoebe undoubtedly has valuables at home that should be protected. No, Mrs. Phoebe's valuables here. What? I'm it. Phoebe, I'm talking about things like jewels that might be stolen. Well, Mrs. Phoebe has a cameo locket with a picture of me and the parrot in it. I don't know if anybody would want to steal that. How about your store? It needs protection. Yes. I don't want to frighten you. What if you came down some morning and found your pharmacy burned to the ground? How would you feel? Not so bad. I'm loaded with insurance. Oh, my God. It's a week. With what I pick up shovel and sidewalks, I'll have around 30 do-made, Aunt. Well, my boy in the insurance game, the first thing you do is lay groundwork. Have made a dime, huh? No. What a salesman. I'm going to get anything for Christmas. Looks like I'll have to buy it myself. You'll get your present, and so will everybody else. Why don't I want any IOUs in my sock? Get on the ball, Aunt. Yes, yes. Hey, I got an idea. They need a Santa Claus in the toy department down at the Emporium. Oh, my goodness. You'd wear a beard nobody would recognize you. I'd rather wear a mud pack. What? It's never mind. Anyway, there's no money in being a Santa Claus. I'm just kidding, Aunt. But if you can't sell insurance... Conn, found it, I can sell insurance. Yeah? Yeah. Excuse me. I want to see Birdie a minute. About insurance? Yeah, about dinner. Oh, Birdie. Yes, Mr. Guilty. And no hurry about dinner. Yes, sir. Um, Birdie, have you ever given thought to buying a little insurance? Oh, yes, sir. I'm a strong-believing insurance. Good. Now I have here a little policy. Oh, I take from the Lodge. The Lodge? Yes. They got a policy for 50 cents a week you can't beat. Yeah, I wouldn't get much Christmas money at that rate. And again, you got the 50 cents that carry you on the books. Yeah, well, I just thought I'd ask. You ain't doing so well, huh? Well, Leroy's pressing me. I have to sell the policy soon to save face. Well, maybe you're overlooking a lot of prospect. Well, I don't know who. Well, how about your girlfriend? My girlfriend? You got to buy them all a present so if you can sell them all a policy, you can buy them presents with the premium. Oh, I don't know, Birdie. Well, most single girls don't have insurance. I guess they don't. No, sir. They're waiting for the right man to come along. Let him buy the insurance. Oh, I don't think girls look that far ahead. Well, here's what it does. Birdie wouldn't have that large insurance if she could see the right man in her future. You wouldn't? And when it comes to marriage prospects, Birdie's scraping the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, I guess you're not a good insurance prospect, Birdie. Well, I'm open for deal. You get Birdie a husband and she'll guarantee you get the insurance. Well, there must be an easy way to make Christmas money. Nothing wrong with trying to sell my girlfriend's insurance is protecting their future. Yeah, I'm doing them a favor. Besides, I'm getting off the hook with Leroy. Irene's a smart woman. School principal. She can see the value of adequate protection. It's a strange way to spend the day, but I'll be subtle about it. Hello, Chuck Morden. Come in. Hello, Irene. Something for you. What lovely flowers. Yeah. And you enclosed a card. You bet. Let's sit down and read it. All right, and then I'll put them in a vase. Yeah, I gave quite a lot of thought to that message. Oh, from Chuck Morden with love and a thought for your future. What a nice sentiment. What does it mean? Well, it means I'm interested in your future, Irene. You are? And it's high time you gave some thought to it. Oh, I have. I think about me a lot. You know, I've been thinking about you, too. And now I am in a position to guarantee your future security. Oh, this is so sudden. I guess you didn't expect anything like this, right out of the blue, but I just got the idea myself. The one who just got the idea, you're certainly moving fast. Well, I have to produce some results before Christmas. I wanted to speak to you about it before I ask anybody else. Well, it's nice of you to think about me first, Rockmorton. I should be flattered, but I'm afraid your approach is a little puzzling. Well, I'm a little new at this, Irene. Don't say no until you've heard my proposition. What? What is your proposition? Well, let me speak frankly. Please do. I talked on the phone to Mr. Riley, and he thought you'd be a good risk. Rockmorton, just how do you mean that? Well, you're in good health. You have temperate habits. Of course, you'll have to take a complete physical. I will? Yeah, of course, Mr. Riley would insist on that. Who is Mr. Riley? Who is Mr. Riley? Who is the insurance man? You mean you talk to your insurance man before you talk to me? Well, naturally. How careful can a man be? You want to report to the veterinarian before you buy the horse? Well, Irene, in these days, you won't get anybody to take your sight unseen. Kildersleeve, I'm not asking anybody to take me. Well, Irene, you need the protection. I can protect myself. Now take your flowers and ask somebody else, or you'll never make it by Christmas. What did I do wrong? I have some news for Leroy. Yes? At last, I sold the policy. You did? Well, don't sound so amazed, Bertie. No, sir. Like that, my boy, I sold an insurance policy. No kidding. Yes, indeed. Now, I'll have the proof here any minute. Mr. Riley is coming by with my commission check. Good for you, honk. You're a good sport. You didn't back out. Well, now that I've proved I can sell a policy, I think we should give up the idea of earning our Christmas money on the side. I really don't have the time. I understand, honk. We'll tap the budget, huh? Yeah, that's the surest way for us all to get presents soon. Yes, Mr. Riley, Bertie. I'll go. Well, here I am, Commissioner. Hello, Mr. Riley. You were in a big hurry to get this commission check. Well, I had a reason. Leroy, look at this. Gosh, that's swell, honk. Mr. Riley, this is my nephew, Leroy. Hello, Leroy. Hi. Mr. Riley, who did honk sell the policy to? Didn't he tell you? He sold it to himself. The great killess Lee will be with us again in just 30 seconds. How do you like your Swiss cheese best? In sandwiches, with fruit, with crackers? Tomorrow, I'll give yourself a treat. Get Kraft natural Swiss cheese and try it your favorite way. Kraft natural Swiss is the good old fashioned kind with the holes, but it's made a new Kraft way to have heart of the cheese goodness all through. And it's sliced and sealed by Kraft in airtight packages. See for yourself what we mean by heart of the cheese goodness. Enjoy the exceptional flavor and tender texture of this fine natural Swiss. You'll be delighted with Kraft natural Swiss cheese. You've dawned on me why Irene practically threw me out and slammed the door. She thought I was proposing marriage, but all I want to do is sell some insurance. Well, I'll straighten that out right now. Women are so touchy, you have to handle them just so. Oh, it's you, Throckmorton. Hello, Irene. I guess you wonder why I'm here. Well, I didn't expect you back after last night. Irene, you were mistaken about my intentions. Oh, when I said Mr. Rowley thought you'd be a good risk, but that nobody would take your sight unseen. I was talking about insurance. Insurance? Of course. I wasn't talking about marriage. Proposing to you was the last thing I had in mind. Now may I come in? What did I do wrong this time? Good night, folks. Played by Willard Waterman and is an NBC radio network production. The show is written by John Elliott and Mandy White and is transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Jettley, Kathy Lewis, William Randolph, Gloria Holliday, Frosty Fowler, and Dick LaGrant. Musical composition by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the craft foods company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gildersleeve. There are two kinds of delicious craft prepared mustard. Mild craft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced, and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. And whichever you prefer, remember when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Try it on cold sandwiches, hamburgers, frankfurters, and cold cuts. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with craft prepared mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Get mild craft mustard and craft mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. Now play You Bet Your Life with Groucho on the NBC Radio Network.