 You got to do the work To feel happy and you deserve to feel good you deserve. I've said it before you deserve to give life your best shot Hello my friends and welcome to the depression to expression podcast yet another episode Scott St. Marie here your host and coach and today we're answering the question the complex yet simple Question why is it so easy to get depressed? Why is it so easy to feel? Depressed and why the hell is it so damn hard to maintain a certain level of happiness? To feel content to feel happy to feel joy Walking down the street seeing people smile and shit. You're like what the hell's wrong with you What's there to be happy about it's COVID it's locked down We're on earth spinning in the middle of the universe, and we're all gonna die. Why are you smiling man? Hmm, okay, let's answer the question. So why is it so hard to maintain and feel happy like these people we see on social media living their lives Pretending like we're not all gonna be in a coffin one day or cremated and not exist anymore Salute the babies. They are the future. They are here to replace us. We're not here for that long And you wanted like an uplifting episode where I'm just talking about dying, but listen man It's quite simple. Okay. Our minds are programmed for negative emotion Okay, we're more likely to remember a negative experience feel negative emotion than positive emotion or remember positive experiences You know this because you're still thinking about that dude that bullied you in elementary school and called you fat You can't get over it You're still thinking about them, aren't you? That time. Oh my gosh that time in high school You got embarrassed in public everyone looked at you face got read. Oh What a fool you made of yourself and of course you've created this bubble of protection Right, it's a mechanism. It's a survival mechanism now because if we remember the times where we felt embarrassed Fearful sad under extreme stress. We have to remember that so we can avoid that shit in the future All right, if you know that there's a lion hiding in the bush Thousands of years ago if you knew there was a lion there you better remember where that lion was so when you're going to pick Some berries you can avoid that baby avoid the lion Okay, so we're prone and we're programmed to actually remember negative experiences Kind of push aside positive ones. All right, so this happens a lot during meditation for people All right, the the thoughts that come up. It's not like I'm the best life is good This is a cool fun moment. No, of course not when our minds kind of are our Are let to do what they like to do Which is simply think the thoughts aren't useful This is boring. Why am I meditating? This is a waste of time. I could be doing something else Life is weird. Life is scary. I wonder what other people think of me. Hmm Right, so the mind isn't always our friend in fact most of the time It's not your brain was evolved and designed quote-unquote designed To help you survive. That's the meaning of life. You want to know the meaning of life Alan Watts says it said it best The meaning of life is just to survive. That's it What do you read in self-help books trying to figure it out? You read the Bible, didn't you? You read in the Quran? What what are they saying? That's all it is. I hate to break it to you. There's no special meaning. It's just to survive That's that's it and you're doing it, which is pretty awesome So why is it so easy to get depressed and feel negative emotion? Well, because that's what the brain does So the secret here my friends is that happiness takes work That's the point you think you can wake up and just feel happy to be alive This is rare and what actually happens is some people have a higher base line of overall happiness than other people We know this okay You know people that can just have this zest and this this optimistic view of life, right? Like the guy smiling down the street during COVID and it's locked down But he's still so appreciative and grateful for his life and to be alive Just grateful for existence. Like there's people that genetically just have a higher baseline of happiness Okay, other people maybe people more prone to depression anxiety disorders. We got to work a little harder Is it fair? Absolutely not life isn't fair. It's not meant to be fair. It's not meant to be easy, of course We're only programmed to survive So we're not programmed to be happy life life's purpose isn't to be happy This has happened. I don't when when was this actually a thing? When was this discovered? When did someone say that life was actually meant as this happiness and and this journey of hedonism? It's bullshit. It's not but we want to make it that way So if you want to make it that way and experience more positive emotion and have some fun in life You got to do the work, baby You got to or else just like me. I can sink into depression in a thought. Oh My gosh, I'm gonna have some chocolate today sit on my ass not do anything and just think about the worst things that have Happened to me since I was born. How do you think I'm gonna feel? Oh Depression's like hello Scott. Oh, thanks for welcoming me back, man This is gonna be great be prepared not to sleep and feel terrible So you want to do some work? You owe yourself it you really have to develop this sense of First of all being realistic about okay, this is the way the mind works. This is what it's doing cool That's the beautiful thing about mindfulness and meditation is to be the observer through that be the witness of how the mind works And what a thought is it's not you but then develop the sense of self-respect here and say, you know what? No one's coming for me, and it's me. It's my responsibility It's up to me to change No one can change for me. No one can do the work for me If I don't want to feel depressed, I better figure out a way not to feel depressed And it has to go beyond maybe going to a psychiatrist going beyond a web MD and checking symptoms It probably has to go beyond taking medication Everyone's different in this way. What do you need to do? To feel better. What do you need to do? What work do you need to put put in place? So feeling depressed isn't as easy. It's not as easy to get into that slump, right? How can you increase that overall threshold of depression? So your tolerance for negative emotion is a lot higher That's the point. How do you increase that threshold? Increase that resilience? Right, so this is what happens as kids were not resilient at all That's why you think to that person that called you fat in elementary school. Your life was over. It's like, holy shit I must be fat. I'm worthless. Someone else called me this It's like no self-confidence zero threshold for negative emotion and we completely collapse under our own thoughts You got to build some resilience Right, you got to build that threshold up. So when someone calls you fat now Well, what do you do? You're not gonna collapse You're not gonna have to call in sick to say something bad happened. It's like when I used to work at Twitter I remember in 2016 when Trump was elected Trump was elected and a bunch of people called in sick. They're like, I just I just need to work from home today Trump's president. Oh my god. How am I gonna live meanwhile? They're working like for one of the best tech companies earning an amazing salary You privileged ass Right, you know what I'm saying? So we got to build some tolerance up some emotional intelligence get to know ourselves a little better Right not put up a wall of defense Against negative emotion But take it for what it is and learn to work through that navigate through that get to know our bodies get to know our minds, man so a lot of us are dealt a pretty shithand when it comes to genetics, right Right, this is a pretty big role when it comes to depression anxiety Schizophrenia psychosis is a lot of it's a genetic factor and if we look at dementia 2 and Alzheimer's it's like Man, it's tough for people out there. I Feel for those people The stories I've heard from friends of mine and their dad going through a really tough time with Alzheimer's. Oh my god It's tough It's tough Now a lot of you listening are pretty young Right So you have the benefit of looking far into the future and figuring out who you want to be how you want to feel What you want to do you got time? To build yourself up to increase that tolerance increase that resiliency work on your mind and body So it's not so easy to get depressed You can acknowledge that what the mind is programmed to do Survival, but it's not fighting against that. It's working with it and then increasing that happiness as we go Right, so listen Why is it so easy to get depressed? I answered it a million times in this episode, but you got to do the work To feel happy and you deserve to feel good you deserve I've said it before you deserve to give life your best shot and you know what? Life demands that from you life wants that from you whether you believe in God. God wants that from you Other people want that from you the world wants that from you You got to give it your best shot people want to see you do your best We're on earth for such a brief time So brief just a little spark in the timeline of the universe in the timeline of even humanity We're just a little brief brief flame. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? I don't know man That's Neil Young But you got to do the work Now with that being said, you know, there are no ads on this podcast There's no ads. I don't want to I don't I don't even Know what am I gonna make a hundred bucks? The hell's that gonna do? It's just gonna annoy you, but I'll tell you what's a really really good use of your hard-earned money Alright, I'm not one of these guys that wants to sell you bullshit That doesn't work and I'm gonna sell you something so you can get abs in 14 days or End anxiety in a weekend. No, but if you're looking for Tools that last a lifetime if you're looking to overcome anxiety and depression resolve these things and get to know yourself on a deeper level If you want to build that resiliency and tolerance to negative emotion Well, man. Oh, man. I got two options for you two options Hey, no, I got three options one go to web MD. Look at all your symptoms and get some pills That's option one totally cool if you want to nothing against medication, you know I'm not for it or against it. Whatever works for you So you can do that go to your doctor if it's really severe like I'd actually recommend seeing a medical professional, okay? psychiatrist psychologist, right if you want to talk about You know just express some things, okay But if you're like very functional and you want to just add some mental health tools to your toolbox Because that's where I was right very level, but I'm like I need some more stuff Well, you know my story of being on antidepressants for over a decade And I developed all of these tools that I use for years and years and years So eventually when I went off I was very successful in doing so and I put all of that into a course Called the conquer anxiety course, which actually is beautiful For if you're dealing with depression too because very similar tools in the way the body functions to this will work wonders for you So if you want to join my conquer anxiety course, the link is in the description It's called conquer anxiety course calm and you'll be added to my email list the wait list So when I open it up very soon, you'll be the first to get access. All right, it's like eight hours of video instructions It's me. I'm chatting with you get to join our community on the app slack You get to chat with me a bunch of other people. There's bonus modules. It's awesome and I really really hope to see you there because Talking into a microphone is cool And I hope you like listening to these podcast episodes. There's so many scroll down You know that right and share this with your buddies. Share this with your friends. Hey, hey, hey Right a review on iTunes, but this is all fun for me But the really fun part is when I get to meet you. That's like the thing I love Doing that's the seven years on YouTube and building an audience and talking about mental health like meeting actual Human beings. That's what I love to do. That's why I started public speaking and going to schools and corporations And that's why I started coaching and and making that public because I want to talk to you Your individual needs your psychological needs. I love helping you out. I love tweaking your routine I like sharing my story like listening to yours through my coaching what I've realized my friend is a lot of people including myself You know, they'll be like Scott, you know, I don't need any tools man But I want to talk to you every week and I just need some reassurance in my life I'm like, oh my god me too. It's like I just want to talk to you about what I'm doing. I'm You know, I'm doing this I'm doing that and I just want someone to tell me like good job And you're on the right track and life is tough, but you're going through it Humans need that and during COVID a lot of us aren't getting that from our Relationships and co-workers and things like that. So the option number one is WebMD Option number two is the conquer anxiety course conquer anxiety course calm or you can go to conquer anxiety with Scott calm and And book a coaching call with me. It's absolutely free We get to chat for 15 minutes and see if you'd be a good fit for coaching for us working together One-on-one again, I'm not gonna sell you anything. I'm not gonna ask for your credit card. Okay. It's none of that bullshit I just want to have an honest conversation Empathy is involved Compassions involved because I know what it's like, man That's what's different. That's why really hard for me to to Get involved in therapy Because it works wonders for so many people and it's the best thing ever But I always wanted someone who's been there who can relate. I know what depression anxiety is like I know what it's like throwing up from anxiety not being able to sleep wanting to Be inside your body, but you feel completely outside of it I know the heaviness of the world when you get consumed with depression All right, I know this episode was just like yeah, it's really easy to be depressed We're programmed for negative emotion I know but please check out other episodes if you want some encouragement and for me to get really real about depression how It takes over the body the mind the fucking soul It goes deep it gets heavy. I know the feeling when the world is just too much We're taking an inhale is painful All right If you're feeling low Man and you clicked on this video because it had the word depression in it Maybe you discovered this podcast because it said depression Man you keep on going you get the help you need you get the help you deserve You got this and if I can help you any way on your journey if we're a good fit Then I'll be happy to do so if not. I'm happy to share more resources with you, but uh, you know stay strong You got this keep being you and if you're feeling low if you're feeling these negative emotions Just be like hey well body Thanks for helping me survive and now I got some work to do to increase that threshold and that level of happiness Love you all so much. Thanks a lot for tuning in and I'll see you in the next episode Stay strong keep being you and don't forget to express yourself Bye