 production by Convergence Theatre of Snapshots. My name is Asif Majeed and alongside being a collective member with Convergence Theatre, I'm delighted to also be the writer of this piece. Now I wanted to start with a few notes and a few things to think about as we go into this production here. As you might be aware, this is of course a virtual production and so everything that we are doing is entirely digital. It is being done entirely from the comfort of the homes of the individuals who you will see performing tonight. Of course, much of that has to do with the fact that this is an unprecedented time when it comes to the United States Theatre scene and when it comes in fact to theatre and the world in a lot of ways as we know it. This as a result, this piece is an experiment. It's a virtual experiment in terms of what it could possibly look like for us to make theatre going forward in the 21st century dealing with all the constraints and restraints that we have to do with around them. Snapshots is a piece that is in development, so this is a reading of sorts, but it's also really a performance because we're very interested in trying to understand what are the different ways and the different modes in which we can perform and how does the digital inform that possibility. Convergence Theatre as a collective is a nomadic, multidisciplinary and very sort of story and narrative driven kind of collective in which we are trying to as much as possible flatten the hierarchies of director, writer, and collaborator in various ways. So that being said, a little bit of history about the piece that you're about to see, witness, experience, and hear. This piece, snapshots, began as a monologue as part of a memories of partition festival in the United Kingdom during the time that I was living there. The main character, Mustafa, who is somebody who is dealing with the negotiation of Islam and sexuality in his own experience, was the first character to develop out of this monologue project. And as a result of the particular themes that are addressed in this performance and in this particular show, the monologue itself was actually censored when trying to be taken into various communities. And the reasons for this censorship had to do with the language that was being used in terms of strong language, and then also particular sexual references that were offered in the text. So drawing on that, this idea of how we can explore the intersection of Islam, sexuality, history, and cultural appropriation all came together in the way that we're thinking about snapshots. It is a piece that is primarily and fundamentally written for technical media, that is to say that it's 100% digital. It began as a series of phone calls that existed between Mustafa and a number of the other characters, and it has since progressed in the context of the pandemic to being around video calls. So what you are about to see is essentially an intimate experience of what it means to be within somebody's world as they are video calling and engaging technologically. The main themes of the production have to do with Islam, sexuality, history, and the idea of cultural appropriation. So with all these things being said, a few logistical notes to help you have the best experience as the viewer and listener of this piece. First of all, this piece runs approximately 75 minutes, and the best way to view it will be to make sure that you have taken the HowlRound live stream link that you are on, or if you are on the HowlRound Facebook stream and looking at that live, and to have it be full screen on whatever device it is that you are using. It would also be really wonderful for you to mute any other devices that you might have around you. And to fully recognize that this as much of an experience than anything else is best engaged with immersively. There is, of course, a bit of strong language here, and there is also a fair number of sexual references that you might want to bear in mind those who are around you, especially those who are under age 13. It may or may not be appropriate for them. Afterward, I hope that you'll join us at Convergence Theater for the post-show discussion that we'll be having on Zoom. The link for this is going to be visible in the description box right underneath where the live streaming link video screen is for you. But then also at the end of the show, we will be posting up some poster art that will give you further directions about how to get to the Zoom post-show if you are interested. I think that is it before we get started. The last thing that I would say is this. Moments like this have a tendency of engendering fear and engendering uncertainty. And one way for us to counter these possible experiences that are not necessarily positive, and in fact we might rather do without, is to invest fully in whatever it is that we are doing and wherever it is that we happen to be. So tonight, as you experience this performance wherever around the world it is that you may be in whatever time zone, with whatever loved ones or with whatever uncertainties and fears they are that might be plaguing you, I would just ask you to invest fully. I'd ask you to be as engaged and as possibly directly sort of involved in the way in which you see and experience this particular performance. That's the only way I think that we're going to be able to together move past some of the challenges that we're facing societally, globally, internationally, and sometimes interpersonally in the way that we're running our own lives. So with that, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much and see you on the other side of the show. So you know how I normally sit against the wall? You know how I normally don't go? Yeah, I always, yeah. Miral dragged me along anyway. And normally, normally they do the partition after we get there. Yeah, always behind schedule, isn't it? Exactly. But today I was just staring at it. It was already up and ready to go. Sorry, what are we talking about again? Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about my penis. That's a shame. It was like I actually saw the screen for the first time as a barrier dividing us. I know the whole gender thing, but really why is it there? Because men like you can't keep it in their pants. You're the one who keeps bringing it up, not me. I think it's the Saudis fault. The Saudis? Yeah, I mean they're all about the money and the power, nothing real. Guardians are the two holy places my ass. So because the Saudis are extremists and money grubbers, they want all Muslims to live segregated lives. That's a specious argument, Moose. Are you defending the Saudis? I'm just saying there's probably more to it than that. More to it than what? They cozy up to Western money. They literally interpret the Quran as if Allah hasn't given us brains to think. And their country wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the British. Hashtag imperial colonialism. Hashtags, eh? Our country wouldn't exist if it weren't for the British. Hashtag colonialism. My humanitarian work wouldn't be needed if it weren't for the British. Hashtag imperialism. And you wouldn't have met your wife if it weren't for the British. Hashtag post-imperial. Bound or wah-wah. I bet that would have made you happier. Speaking of morale, what's her take on this? I can't talk to her about it. That's why I talk to you. Plus, every conversation with her is all about how best she can borrow from Indian culture. Nothing makes her happier than the goddamn British Commonwealth. More like the British Steelers of wealth. Maybe she should have married a British guy. Maybe she should have married a British guy. People change, Moose. It's like your students with their acne and raging hormones. Some are beanstalks and all of it. Exactly. But she's so exploited of these days. Ever since 45 came into office, even before this, she's just been so... Why don't you say his name? Who? Trump. He who must not be named? That's Voldemort. Hashtag Slytherins for life. To name a thing is to normalize it. To not name a thing is to reify it. She's just not the same, you know? I can't believe how obsessed you are. How long have you known me? Basically, my whole life. And all that time I have been... Determined, stubborn, arrogant. Damn, the fuck, I thought we were friends. Superhero, Wonder Woman, Meralizees, crowning all over my dreams since kindergarten. Aquamarine and Razzmatazz. My two least favorite colors, too. You're welcome. I'll cut the lines. So yeah, sure. I guess we are best friends. Rousing endorsement. I aim to please. It's just... But? So weird. You're the one who started my collection. I gave you one for the wedding. To be my maid of honor, not for everyday life. So what? That's not how they're meant. I know. I know you know. But they're so comfortable. I never thought them to be comfortable. And the material so soft. Damn girl, I don't talk about your husband that way. You're the one who said it. Still. You even joked about it. Even stiller. Sorry. Would I joke about Kamal being away? Still start. Exactly. I said sorry. You do know why I wear them, right? Hmm? The saris? Yeah. I need... I know. Because that's the only way that I do it. I get it. It's still weird. Why? Because you're Arab. Maybe you two should get a divorce. What? So you can corrupt me further? Well I wouldn't be opposed to that. Yeah because you're so impartial. That is my charm. Being impartial? Helping you see the truth. Which is? It's possible to be both. You're joking. I'm serious. I've been begging a love for forgiveness ever since you left for Gaza. There's nothing to forgive. There's nothing to forgive about two men. What about the story of Prophet loot? Two entire cities were pelted with stones because they practiced their lust on men in preference to women. The Quran calls them a people transgressing beyond bounds. And a few hours later it talks about those who indulged in sin and crime. So? It says sin and crime. And no one can really tell whether the punishment was originally because of sin or crime. Femantics. Oh aren't you the great balancer? The root word of what you mean is drama. Which can mean to commit sin or crime. So the city's crimes rather than its sins could have been the real issue. There's nothing to forgive about two men experiment. You weren't experimenting. You were. I wish I hadn't. It is possible to be both. Allah created us in pairs and divided us into nations and tribes so that we'd know one another. And you think we're a pair? You and Miral sure ate. Oh fuck off! Gladly. Pairs made up of a male and a female. Zouj wa Zoujah. Why would that be in the Quran if it weren't gender specific? Maybe we've misinterpreted it. 1500 years of misinterpretation? Anything's possible. Talk about a specious argument. There's a lot of grain in the world. But some things are very clearly right and some things are very clearly wrong. And what we did was wrong. How's that going, by the way? Moose? Yeah. We got into it. Again? Something dumb as fuck. Where? Where else? Of all the places. I know. It's a mosque, boo. I know, Jesus Christ. You two can't fight somewhere else. It just sets us off. So stop going. Oh for fuck's sakes, nads. So what happened this time? Got on the plane straight after. Come on, Miral. Nads. How long have you known me? Basically my whole life. So you know I can tell? I know. Then? What else? He said I was being inflexible and racist. I said he was being controlling and a fascist. And it just fucks fun from there. So what if I want to use Indian motifs and have us visit London? I mean, is that so wrong? You always want to visit London. Who doesn't love palace guards and their silly hats? Afternoon tea, those amazing accents. Moose, moose, me, but also moose. And all those fine brown British men. With their nasty teeth and their stinky breath and their smug attitudes of stuff. Your husband is British Asian. He's different, less Oreo and more. I'm liking it. Spice almond. Decadent curry. Curry, yes. I love me a good curry. Chicken Jafrezzi, Rogan Josh. It's Rogan Josh. Galube Jamun. Galab Jamun is a dessert, you fool. Whatever. It's got sauce. It's got stuff. It's curry. It's not a curry. Is too. Is not. Is too. Is not. Is too. Is not. Which one of us is brown? Not fair. Do I claim to know Shekshuke or McClube more than you? No. Then stay in your lane. I know curry. I know what it's like. I know how it's just a simplification of thousands of years of the subcontinent's culinary heritage. How flattened as things often have been by the British and how if you go to India and ask for curry, people will laugh in your face because it doesn't mean anything. So don't start that cultural appropriation bullshit with me. Just because you look white doesn't mean you have to act white. You know what the best kind of curry is? Vanir Makhni. Vanir Makhni. Girl, really get some spinach in that shit. No. It's obviously Steph Curry. The basketball player. Steph Curry. Mmm. Now there's a fine looking curry if I have a problem. I am hanging up now. Yes. Mrs. Lopez. This is Mr. Ali from Burton Middle. How are you? I'm well. Thanks. Do you have a moment to talk? Uh-huh. Great. Great. I'm calling in reference to Eduardo's most recent assignment, the one he wrote for my social studies class. Yes. Yes, the one about identity and the moment that's made up who he is today. Uh-huh. Well, it seems he misunderstood the assignment. I'm worried it will affect his chances of passing the seventh grade. Uh-huh. He wrote about his love of eating cockroaches. I see. Right. Right. I do recall him telling me about your trip to China this summer. No. No. I can't say I've ever tried them. Yes. Yes. I know they're a popular street food in certain provinces. Uh-huh. Sure. I understand. It's just, of course, but Mrs. Lopez, I appreciate that. But here's the thing. I'm not threatening anything. I'm simply saying if he's happy eating them and you're happy with him eating cockroaches, that's fine. But it sounds like the trip was the moment to talk about in the essay, not his consumption of crispy critters. No. No, no, no. Not critters. Critters with a C. You know, bugs, insects, cockroaches? Never mind. He needs to redo the assignment. I'll speak with him when I see him next period, but I wanted you to know before he comes home this evening. I don't want him to fail the seventh grade because of this. I'm sure you understand. Yes, that sounds good. I will. Thank you. You too. Have a good rest of your afternoon. Okay, bye-bye. Thank God I'm infertile. On the one hand, kids could be nice. They give you joy in being alive and seeing the world differently. On the other hand, they are foul mouthed creatures that enjoy eating cockroaches, and I teach them every day. My infertility must be a blessing if it means that loving Mural has been something physical and the love I feel for Kamal. Ya Allah, please forgive me. What are you asking of me? What is the test I face? Is it society that tells me I can be one thing and you tell me another? That I can be both? Or is there a choice to be made? What is the actual truth? And where can I find it? Look, I know you want to relive our time abroad. Don't you? Sure, it was great. Open me up to a whole new way of being Muslim. Food wasn't half bad either. Curry? Stop distracting me. But it's the national dish so smooth and creamy. Not the national dish. Well, everyone says it's Britain's best dish. Colonialism, colonialism, colonialism. What? Imperialism, imperialism, That is not what I'm trying to say. Appropriation, appropriation, appropriation. Okay, I get it. Colonialism, imperialism, appropriation. Colonialism, imperialism, appropriation. I said I get it. Apparently not. Don't fucking start with me. Things have their placement at all. London was then. This is now. Yeah, but surely Moose should be able to see. Is it so much to want to spend some time there? You should ask him. I have been asking him. That's why we thought. He still thinks I'm appropriating Indian designs at my work. Right. I'm not, though. Okay. I'm not culturally appropriating. Whatever helps you sleep at night. I'm not culturally appropriating. Keep telling yourself that. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. I am not culturally appropriating. What are you doing? Mocking you. Thanks. I thought this was a white feminist rally. Only show up when it's convenient. Get defensive. Do some yoga. You know why I really do it, right? Huh? Curry, the designs, all of it. I know. I need, because they're the only way that I can. It was a long time ago, Meryl. And it was an accident. I know. Even superheroes make mistakes. You haven't answered my question. It's not worth answering. Then why did you call me? It's the moss thing I told you. A partition? That's hogwash and you know it. All right then, smarty pants. If I called because of us, and I'm not saying I did, why didn't I call you last month? Or the month before? You left. Three months ago. So then why now? Something happened. What's something? Something at the mosque. What could have happened at the mosque? Probably you've finally said something you've been thinking for a while. What's today? The 24th. So they would have advertised the youth trip to London already. So? And tomorrow is your monthly check-in with Meryl. By Skype this time, because she's traveling, our relationship has always been a bit clinical. You two went together, right? Would I go by myself? So she must have said something. That's it, isn't it? She said something about going. What did she say? I'm not getting into this. Why not? I've already said enough against her today. Obviously you've reached your daily quota of anti-wifery. Watch it. Yet for some reason you're talking to me about her instead of her about her. Why aren't you talking to her? She said she's busy. Doing what? Skyping Nadia. What else? My Nadia. Aren't you gay? Aren't you? That's not an answer. She's still my wife. I married her because she brings out the best of me. My unending wit, my unfailing charm, my self-righteous honesty. So you're living a lie? I'm not living a lie. Handsome shit. At least I'm open about it. You? So Nadia knows. Stop deflecting. I'm not gay. Right. And I'm the queen of England. I'm not gay. So you said? I'm not gay. Now you're a CD stuck on repeat. Well listen to CDs anymore. Old timers like me. You mean old farts like you. Who are you trying to convince? You told me you felt something. I did not. So now you're denying it. And what if I did? Well it means something. I can't do this. What? Be honest? Forsake my faith. We've been over this. The two things are compatible. It's possible to be gay and a good Muslim. Both involve being true to yourself, submitting to your bed to desire. No, it's not. It's one or the other. Then explain what you felt. Don't do this, Kamal. Explain what you felt. I said drop it. Because if anyone's a good Muslim, it's you. You may not go to the mosque regularly. But I don't know anyone else who's as charitable, as practicing, as believing as you. And that's what it means to be a good Muslim. Submit to Allah's commands unwaveringly. What commands matter more than the phoenix Allah has given us? Moose. Moose, are you? Moose, are you? Do you think the current situation is working? I think he just needs to be a little bit. He needs his own race. Well, he used to be running the same race. Sure. But not since. And it's just been sometimes too much. And what am I supposed to do? You have to give it time. How long? Because it's been years. And I can't keep. Healing isn't linear. But that city is the only reminder that I have. I have to visit. We have to visit that bridge. And Moose, he just can't. I mean loves you. I have to keep telling how important it is. Like a pilgrimage every year on that day. Because the returns matter. Nadia. I know. It just does. Give him time. Nadia. He just needs more time to figure out how much time. How much fucking more time does he need? A month, a year, a decade? Because it has been exactly three years, six months, and 17 days since it happened. And I am sick and tired of trying to make him see it. I'm the one who lost, not him. He was my father, not his. It was my idea, not his, to go out on that fucking bridge in that fucking shitty ass weather. That's an idea that I have to live with for the rest of my miserable life. Yes. But we were both there. We both saw him slip. We both were helpless. Yet I'm the only one who seems to care. We have to hold on. I have to hold on. And I will not fucking let go no matter what Moose says. I have, I had only one father, Nadia. One. And I miss him like hell. And the only way I am going to get through this is if I keep him alive. Otherwise, I think it's just going to become too much. Is it becoming too much, Narell? Salam alaykum, mom. Yeah, I'm fine. Just have some crazy students, you know. Yeah, some idiot kid wrote about eating cockroaches. Yeah, I did. I talked with his mom. She said she liked them too. Yes, mom. I know you think white people are stupid, but they're not white. No, I'm not arguing with you about this. He's my student. I know his race. Mom. Mom. Mom. I'm not arguing about this. I've got enough else to worry about. Yes, I know you didn't want me to become a teacher. Yes, I know you think I'm a glorified babysitter. Yes, I know I'm a failure. Do you think a person can be gay and Muslim? Well, hypothetically, of course. But what about those people who are attracted to the same sex? How do we explain that? Oh, no reason. One of my students asked me, and I'm trying to figure out what to say. Yes, yes. I know you didn't want me to become a teacher. The major disappointment is very clear. You're welcome. Right. Well, okay. Enjoy your ping-pong tournament. Goodbye, mom, and happy birthday. Need to talk. This is urgent. Seriously. Why would you say that? It's true. I told you to drop it, but you insisted. Why? I was being honest. To get into my pants. Well, they are nice pants, to be fair. You're not helping yourself. I mean it. I think you have an incredible spirit about you. That's what I'm trying to say. I'd like to say that to all the ladies. Oh, yes, gender fluidity. A step in the right direction, finally. But if you- Be honest for once. It's not a ploy. Really. Hashtag post-imperial. Come on. You think there's nothing else to this? No. I love you. Who's texting me? Did you hear me? I just said- Oh, it's not you. Moose, please. Skype me ASAP. They mistranslate the Quran, you know? The Arabic stays the same. But when they get it into English, it gets all kinds of mangled. Even the opening line. In the name of Allah, the most beneficent, the most merciful. Sometimes it's the most compassionate, the ever merciful. Or the entirely merciful, the especially merciful, or the gracious, the merciful. But those are all simplifications. Because Rahman and Raheem are more than beneficence and mercy. And the al before each one means those qualities are practiced at higher than their highest possible level. They're not adjectives as much as they are titles, states of being, descriptions of the indescribable, essences that transcend the essence we feebly ascribe to the essential. Because al-Rahman means the one who gives ease, followed by easiness. And al-Raheem means the one who gives hardship, followed by easiness. Every single time, beneficence and mercy don't even come close. Things fall apart, but ease will come. It always does. That was weird. Did you hear what I said? Nadia just texted it, but I went to reply and nothing happened. Loose, did you just hear what I said to you? Will you listen? Hank, hang on. Loose, will you listen? Hank, hang on. Loose, will you listen? You okay? What's wrong? Were you talking to Nadia? Talk to me. So you'll talk to her, but not to me. Just talk to me. Help me help you. Now bring me along. This is so frustrating. You always do this silent martyr thing, falling on your sword. You didn't feed her cat cockroaches again, did you? Did the cat feed you cockroaches? She knows how much you care about the cat, I mean. Maybe she's just worried. That's a sidekick's job. If you won't talk to me, that's fine. But you should talk to her. She's your best friend. You two can figure it out. You always do. Hello? Yes. Yes, this is, ah, hello. Hello. Yes, this is Kamal. Yeah, from the Red Crescent, the ICRC. I'm calling because, right. I know you spoke to my colleague with Toria already. We're working on the shipment together. Well, the problem is storage space. Warehouses are at a premium in Gaza. The rations have to be distributed as soon as they're delivered. Sure, I understand, madam. I'm sorry, what? You can't stop the shipment. We need your help. The Israelis have stopped the shipment because of bad press. The Israeli press has been like this for decades. Lines are on the line. And what happened to the duty protect, the humanitarian imperative, the goodness of philanthropy? We've worked with your office because, yes, I saw that headline. No, I don't believe the Palestinians or cockroaches. I believe they're people like you and me. Oh, but you believe what's being written about them. I just want to know what I guess. You know this is how the Hoot is described. The Tutsis are right on the right. Do you read? Hello? Hello? Could you live? In a world of control or well or huxley? I mean that plus violence at every level. And what do you think? What do you believe? What do you say? How you move? Where you move? What you eat? What you wear? Who you love? Where you sleep? When you sleep? If you breathe? How you breathe? What you live in? If it still stands? Where you make joy? When you cry? When you laugh? When you sit? Where you shit? What your children joke about? The wartime games they play. The lies they learn in school. The disillusionment they face. The horror they witness. The horror they live. The horror they become. Could you live in a world of control? Moose, thank God. Nadia, is everything all right? No, it's not. Are you okay? I was just talking to Miral. What happened? She's confused, Moose. Living in the past. What? Living in the past, tied up in nostalgia, as confused as a kid, looking for fucking, where's Waldo? She's fucking some guy named Waldo. I'll kill that son of a bitch. Moose. What? She's not sleeping with Waldo. What? This line is bad. She's not sleeping with a fictional hipster or white dude. Oh, right. So, what's the problem then? She's lost, Moose. Utterly and completely lost. Well, if she's not humping hipsters, how bad can it be? Moose. No points for alliteration? She's holding on to her heart. The mistake on the bridge, the sorry's, the curries, the designs her dad, you, all of it. Me. It's weighing her down and she's just, I don't know, she's just... Oh, so slow now. What about me? Catch up, man. She's holding on to something that's not hers. She's not brown. This isn't her culture or her history, but she's using it as a crutch because it reminds her of her dad. Well, what does that have to do with me? Yallah. Please bless all men with the ability to do their own emotional labor. Wait, is this about London? And give me the patience to wait for them to figure their shit out. And me calling her a racist? I mean... Yeah, nods. That's part of the problem, yes, but she needs to know that you're healing with her. Healing from what? It was an accident. She has no one left in this world, Moose. She has me. I have no one left in this world. What about Kamal? Talk to your wife, please. She's a sister I've never had and she's... She's all I've got. You just have to, okay? Okay. Promise me. Promise me it'll be all right. Promise me. I promise. Good, just landed in LA. Thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm meeting a new client today. You know how it is. Yeah, oh, no rest indeed. Yeah. We are all set. I am finishing up on the final sketches now. Uh-huh. Yes, Dante has approved these changes. We've incorporated a couple of Indian design elements to spice things up. I see. Oh, no, no, Shema, it's not appropriation at all. Trust me. We've got that under control. Simply a few ragoli patterns, some foostup motifs, that sort of thing, all very, very tasteful. I understand that you're a South Asian community organization. I come from an Arab background, so I am very aware of not offending anyone with this design. It's simply a matter of... So you want me to remove the pattern. Learns. Well, you haven't even seen the edits. And you're asking me to start again from scratch. I don't know that I can deliver that by the final deadline. You know, this new project is going to be a lot... Okay then. Just, I was raised in India by my father, an Arab engineer working for United Technologies. Revolutionary to be a single dad even in those days. We were inseparable. Spent weeknights trying to stay cool under the teak and bubble trees, mixing fresh chicken kabsa with chapati for dinner. On weekends, we'd go to the temple in Parvati Hill. I stare at the designs on the ceiling as Baba held me up for a closer look. Or we'd leave Pune for Konya Sanctuary to marvel at the animals by mangoes from the uncle on the corner, combining them with Baba's secret stash of Zatar pita. It tastes strange. But so did home. Baba was home. And when I sent him to his... Moose doesn't get it. But I have to go back to see where things ended. I have to hold on to remember what we had. I have to. Because everything is trying to tell me to stop being my father's daughter. Everything. It takes strength to hold on. Perhaps even more to let go. What am I supposed to do? Talk to her. And say what? Honey, appropriating brownness won't absolve your guilt. I wouldn't start with that. Or maybe, honey, I think you need to get over your dad's death. Yeah, and not that either. Or you've forgotten who you are. Don't be so direct. Oh, don't be so direct. This coming from the guy who hates cul-de-sacs and merry-go-rounds because they go nowhere. All I'm saying is that this situation requires a delicate touch. Someone who isn't so invested. Someone who isn't so invested. Someone like me. Yeah, right. What's so crazy about that? No. Seriously? No. I can help her see how long it takes to get through this. Something like this. You know that scene in Star Wars where Ray scratches another mark into the metal? That's morale. Counting how long since her dad died. She knows how long it's been. You can know something without knowing it. When did you two last talk about this? I mean, really talk. I don't know. A year or two maybe? Well, that's a long time. You get comfortable with the pain. You lose touch. Happens all the time. Right. I know where she's coming from. I've been there. I was devastated when my mom died. Buried myself in my work. You still bury yourself in your work. Well, the point is you start holding on to the past. It's hard to let go. Well, it takes a little nudge to get things back on track. And you're the person to get things back on track. I'm your man. No, that's not right. What do you mean? This isn't about morale at all. You don't think I want to help her? Maybe. Maybe not. Then? There's always something with you, some kind of angle. Helping people isn't an angle, Moose. That's why I'm busting my ass out here. You're an aid worker because it makes you feel better. Not because you actually care. Wow. Care isn't what drives you. No. This is an opportunity. You think that if you do this for me, I'll love you more. I'll fall into your arms like a hopeless teenager. I wouldn't hate that. But I've seen through your plan. My devious plan. And I'm not falling for it. Rats foiled again. Are you mocking me? And I wouldn't have gone away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids. I hate you. And your stupid dog. I'm hanging up now. Wait, Moose. I care about you. And I do love you. I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't want to be closer. And this may be one way of getting closer to you. But that's not what this is about. I just think I have a unique perspective on the situation and can be of some help. That's all. And that's all you'll talk about? Yeah. No funny business? No funny business. Fine. So how long has it been? A few months, I think. Heard there's been another siege. Same old story. Always somebody trying to control somebody else. Tell me about it. Not much to tell. Usually, it's the Israelis trying to control the Palestinians. But they've already got a butt ton of control. But seriously? Don't they? A butt ton? A ton of butts? That is disgusting. So soft and squishy. You are a child. Should I have said fuck ton instead? Okay, stop. A fuck ton of butts? They may have a lot of control, but they want total domination. Authoritarian rule complete and utter control. Or maybe a butt ton of butts? Extermination of Palestine and Palestinians is an idea. Right. But what about all the other? Look, I live and talk about this all day long. Can we not? Sorry. It's fine. What about you? What's been happening in your world? Am I right, I guess? Moose and I have been at it a lot lately. About? London, racism, being tired. Let's see. Tired of what? Fighting, heroism, life. Enough to do something about it? What? You know, like, uh... What? No. No, no, no, no. Okay. Why would you even... I mean, I'm depressed. I was just asked. Come on, not suicidal. Okay, that's good, that's good. Because I definitely was after my mom passed. Seriously? Wow. But you didn't... No. How long? Years. Why though? Suicide. Yeah. Have to go sometime. Come on. Oh. Because I thought it was my fault. Was it? It was. Well, I'm sure it wasn't your fault. Hiking trip 2017. In the Lake District, trying a difficult trail. Barbara, Nadia, and my sister, Shana's... You met her, right? At the wedding, yeah. Right. We all had the stamina. Ma, not so much. Heart attack, three miles in. It's just like that. But how is that your fault? I suggested the route. She wanted an easier one. We argued, and eventually she came. Always was a mama's boy. Life's little slips, I guess. I guess so. Thanks for sharing. Sure. How'd you get over it? Direct distractions, work. New ways of being. New ways of being? Something like that. But you never really get over it. Just through it. Did Nadia help? Of course. But ultimately, it had to be my own process, though. Why did you call me? Had a sense you might want to talk. Moose mentioned... My moose? Think... No, I'm Penpal's the one at Alaska. He's got excellent taste. Haha, jokes. The classic Kamalian defense. Yeah, got me there. Well, I didn't know you and Moose talk about me. Well, you're an important part of his life, so yeah. Did he ask you to talk to me? I often. But he didn't want to talk to me himself. You know how he is when problems arise. I feel a butt. Skittish and waffling. Why won't he talk to me? Always weighing. Every single possibility equally. Analysis paralysis. He's a bouncer, that man. He drives me nuts. He could divorce him, you know? Excuse me? I'm just saying. He's an incredible man. I hate how long it takes him to think things through, but I also love it. I mean, I got forbid if I were with someone as stubborn as me. I love him. I love boxy furniture. Doesn't mean I want to marry him. Why would you even suggest something like that? Marrying boxy furniture. It's so clean. Divorce. Crispy. I'm just laying out all the options. That is not an option. It could be. It's shit. But. Yeah, we're struggling to communicate, but what couple isn't? Sure. What? Is that all? Seriously? I mean, what else is there? Don't be ridiculous. Hey, it's your life. Kamal. It could be for the best. So this is why you called? Well, no, I just think you two should talk. You never really did like me. Not really. Thanks for trying to break up my marriage. That was never my intent. Yeah, right. Fine. Don't believe me. Stay together. Split up. Makes no difference to me. Oh, I must be alone anyway. What? He's experimenting. What the fuck does that mean? With different ways of being in the world. So he's becoming a hippie? You two should talk. Kamal. Just talk. Listen, Yiqi, this is the third time that we've been trying to arrange this deposition. My assistant has called at least twice, and each time she's been given the runaround. That's the same load of bull she's already heard. No, I'm not willing to do that. So they fled the jurisdiction and you don't know where they are. So you do know where they are? Well, Yiqi, there's two options. Either you can get your clients into my office tomorrow by 9 a.m. or we'll get a subpoena for them and arrest you for obstruction. You're damn right, I can. Just because you're there are tyranny and they run a multimillion dollar cockroach extermination business doesn't mean like I was saying, doesn't mean they're getting special treatment. These people stand accused of increasing cockroach infestations recklessly endangering others' lives and welfare. Your delicacy in China, in this country, they're a health hazard. Yiqi, Yiqi, I've begun drafting the subpoena paperwork and as soon as I hang up, I'll be calling the precinct to verify your arrest warrant. Either they show up tomorrow or the police will show up at your office. Your choice. Moral, hear me out. Don't start. Moral. I am serious. Is this about me calling you a racist? Oh, well done, Sherlock. I mean, it's such a charged word these days and no one wants to admit to it and everyone thinks there's no way back. So you do think I'm a racist? I'm saying- Pan-fucking-tastic. I'm saying that I'm worried. About me being a racist? About you in general. You've changed a lot. Remember when we first met? In undergrad? In one of those awful gen ed classes. Science of water. You were wearing your father's kefya, so proud of that symbol of Arab resistance and we were doing the lab. Some nonsense about how different paper towels absorb water. Come all spilled a bunch and a tiny microscopic amount got on your kefya. You remember? And you took a whole picture's worth and dunked it over his head. Yeah. And then you made this speech about how important that kefya was to you and that he should never soil it ever again. And you made him apologize to it and kiss it. And then Dr. Martin kicked me out of class. I know you've told the story a dozen times. What's your point? Do you know what happened after you left? You cleaned up the water? Yes, but have I ever told you what I said? No. Kamal was soaked, head to toe. And I said, you think she likes diamond rinks? He goes, hilarious. She'll just dump water on me on your wedding. And I said, I want to learn from her what it means to be proud of who I am. I think you've lost sight of that. I think you've attached yourself too much to something else. I think I'm losing you. I'm right here. No, you're not. You're somewhere else. You've been somewhere else for a long time, maybe three, almost four years. I don't know. What happened to the old Moral, the one who knew who she was? I'm still right here. I married you for your conviction and self-belief, something I never had. And you're the most strong-willed person I know, but it's been tainted. You're still strong. Yes, but in all the wrong ways. Where the fuck do you get off saying something like that? Do you know what your father told me when I asked for his blessing? He gave it, but said I had to watch out for you, that your stubbornness would be your downfall. And here we are. You have no right to use him against me. He is my father. He's gone. And you holding on to memories of your childhood is dangerously blinding you to reality. You're stuck in the past. What about you unwavering Moral compass, waffling and wavering and without a backbone, never being able to make up your own goddamn mind? Hey. I bet you've made up your mind enough to what sleep around, do drugs start drinking? What are you talking about? Come on, Calv. He said you're experimenting with different ways of being in the world, different ways of being. What the fuck does that mean? I'm not sure what he told you. That's all he told me. And he said we should talk. What are you up to? This is so typical. Excuse me? You reject the slightest chance to look at yourself. This is about you, not me. I told you before, I don't want to talk. You have to. Moral, this is important. The only thing I'm interested in talking about is what you are up to. Stop deflecting. Are you having an affair? What? Answer me. Are you having an affair? No. But you're up to something. Like you aren't. Who's deflecting now? Moral, we need to talk about- What we need to talk about is what you're up to. What are you experimenting with? God, Kamal's going to get it. What? Nothing. Okay, you tell me what you're up to or I am hanging up right now. That'd be dramatic, don't you think? I am serious. Moral. Three, two, one, zero, men. Experimenting with men. What a disaster. Yeah, tell me about it. You know? Know what? No. You just said it like you know. I was saying you should tell me about the disaster. What's going on? Everything's falling apart. Moral's a mess. Mess. I don't know how I didn't see it all this time. See what? Naz, what's going on? She's so lost in her nostalgia. And it's killing me. What did she say to you? Do you think she might hurt herself? You know how it was for me. I can't even imagine. But no, she won't. How do you know? She's too stubborn. Superhero Wonder Woman, Moral Aziz. She bows to no man. Maybe I should have seen it coming. What? Sounds like you're blaming yourself again. That's not fair. Hasn't she always relied on you like this? Made you her sidekick? It's not that simple. She's in a really tough spot right now. And I- Do you actually want this friendship? I don't know. Have you talked to her recently? You didn't seem surprised when I asked if she might hurt herself. When would I have? That's not an answer. When would I have found the time? It's an evasion. You and I barely find time to talk. So you have talked with her? I didn't. I'm just- I'm just not surprised. So now what? You're a psychic? She seemed off recently. Since when? You've been in Gaza for three months. Moose told me. That she's been off? He told me in confidence. In confidence? What are you two? Lovers? Do you think he might be gay? What makes you ask that? Just some stuff that Miral said. You think he might be? Well, how would I know? Again, not an answer. But really, how would I know? You two are best friends. We don't talk about that kind of stuff. He hasn't told you anything? I can't say that he has. Strange. You know how he is waffling back and forth. You can never get to the bottom of things with him. Nads. Yeah? I need to tell you something. Okay, what is it? I'm getting another call. That's what you needed to tell me? It's Moose. I'll call you back. I'll call you back. Whatever. This is not good. What? She knows. Who knows what? Miral knows. About the Easter Bunny. About me, you idiot. Uh-oh. I told her I was experimenting. Actually, she knew I was experimenting. She just didn't know with what. Right. Care to explain how that happened? No, really? You were supposed to make her turn her life around. Not make her think that I'm gay. You are gay. I'm not. Take your closeness to denial somewhere else. I don't have time for it right now. Sorry, did I interrupt your Friday police? Nadia suspects. What? Apparently, you're not as good at keeping secrets as you think you are. Oh, this is great. Just great. Now, every time Dick and Harry knows we're hiding something, if you didn't have such a big mouth, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. Oh, nice double entendre. Seriously. Can you just focus for one second? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it. Stop deflecting. So you did enjoy it. Sure, whatever, I enjoyed it. Look, what are we going to do? Well, there's every man for himself. I'm trying to save my marriage. So you could keep destroying mine? I said I was sorry. No, you didn't actually. Sorry. Real convincing. What do you want me to say? I screwed it up, sure. But would I take it back? No chance. We're finally on a path to getting everything out of the open. However, this shakes out, we'll be free. Did you talk to her? Yeah. And? Let's just say it did not go as I'd hoped. What does that mean? She doubled down. Jesus. Didn't want to talk about it. There's a surprise. And somehow managed to make the conversation about me. What? Really impressive, actually. What did she say? She accused me of having an affair. You're joking. Nope. That's ridiculous. I know. You're the most boring vanilla person that I know. Thanks. In a good way, of course. Of course. So what did you say? Huh? When she accused you of having an affair? I deflected. Which way? Well, I told her I was experimenting with men, so you tell me. And by experimenting, you mean? Sexually. You know that's her arm. Is it? You don't think that between men is a sin? I plead the fifth. God, you make a terrible lawyer. Well, what if I have feelings for another man? Islam doesn't say don't have feelings. It just says whether or not you act on them. Sure, but... I have feelings about bashing Trumpisaurus' head in. Does that mean I'm going to find a cozy sniper perch? Oh, are you? No. Too bad. I know a good one. Moose. So what you're saying gay people should stay closeted? I'm saying that living in this world means dealing with rules. Even if you can have sex willy-nilly, so what? What value is it if it means destroying something you've worked so hard to build? Miral is probably thinking all kinds of things right now. Her husband is sleeping around, but with other men. What do I do? Honestly, I don't know. She's forgotten her heritage and replaced it with nostalgia and you've forgotten your religion and replaced it with temptation. It's just becoming too much. You promised you'd fix this. I've been trying to wrap my head around what you said. Okay. And I can't quite figure it all out. What's there to figure out? I don't know, but I have some questions and I need them answered. Maybe they'll help me figure out whatever there is to figure out. Then let's start there. Do you love me? Yes. Are you Muslim? Yes. Are you gay? Moose? I don't know. That's not an answer. It's because I don't have an answer. Or you're hiding the fact that you're- I don't have an answer. Okay. Let's try it like this. Are you anything other than straight? How would I know? I don't know. Is there a plus speed quiz for this? Maybe. Or a fortune cookie somewhere? Confucius says you're more attracted to men than women. Thanks. I doubt it. I think you just know. So you're saying- This experimenting, are there feelings attached to it or is it just physical? There are some feelings. Some feelings? Well, I've not really experimented with men. What? I've experimented with men. Like one small step for man kind of man? One man. Come on. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, I did. But maybe it's not what we think it is. I mean, he's my best friend and we've gone through lots of stuff like brothers. So maybe the feelings were just a deep and intense friendship or of sharing something with someone close to you. You know, like toothbrush or underwear or something you wouldn't- A moose. ...be able to share even with your best friend. And so that's why- Moose, stop. ...all these feelings and maybe- Moose, stop, stop. Right now. You're not doing yourself any favors. I know. Made us all in certain ways and with certain hurdles that we need to overcome. Maybe this is one of your hurdles. I don't think being gay is a hurdle. I mean, figuring out what it means to be a Muslim man who has feelings for another man because that's all we've established so far. Right. Because the Islam I believe in doesn't control emotion. Except during Ramadan. And Ihram. But even there it controls how those emotions translate into actions. So what are you saying? I'm saying we all make mistakes. I don't think this was a mistake. Just one sec. We all make mistakes. Allah forgives mistakes. And mistakes are actions, not emotions or feelings. I don't think there's anything that says you can't have the feelings. But there is something that says it's better not to engage in the acts? You're not the only one who's made mistakes. I didn't make them. I've been blaming you. What? For what I- For what happened to Baba. Because you were there with me and I was too far away to do anything. But you were closer to him. So I had to deflect. But blame somewhere else. I'm sorry. It's all making sense now. Yeah. And the designs are those- Be who you are. Not who the world wants you to be. Mara's inspirational quotes. Yeah, well, some pains are too important to let go of. Nadia's calling. You should take it. Oh, I'll talk to her later. Take it. I need a break. I didn't think you'd reach out. No. I blew up at you. Again, I don't deserve your forgiveness. Probably not. But most of us don't deserve the things we get. Is this the beginning of a- Beautiful friendship? No. Our friendship has never been beautiful, Meryl. It's been complicated. Why do you keep it? I don't really know. Maybe I'm too overworked to make you friends. Maybe I'm too drained to put an effort. Maybe I'm too old to care. Can you see? But maybe I'm none of those things. And maybe this still matters in some weird, twisted, uncertain, can't live with you, can't live without you kind of way. And if it does, maybe this could also be the beginning of a beautiful reconciliation. I'm sorry. For what? For taking you for granted. I've always just assumed to be there and when I unloaded before. It's fine. No, it's not. You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve to lose your father like that. Well, most of us don't deserve the things we get. I apologize to Moose too. For blaming him? You knew? How long have I known you? You're a better friend than I thought. Maybe. Not maybe. Definitely. Why now? What triggered it? Oh, I can't. I just- No. Come up with an- You're a stubborn as they come. He did say something first. It concerns you. He said he's experimenting with man. With men, you mean? No, I mean man. One man. Your husband. You've got a lot of fucking nerve. Excuse me? I don't know why I expected anything else. I call to give you a chance. Nadia. To clear the air, to be best friends again? We are. I thought your apology was genuine. Bad. And this is how you go about it instead, making up some bullshit story to what exactly. Tear up my marriage. Nadia. If you have someone to bitch to when you take a sledgehammer to yours, Misery sure loves company. Nadia, no. That's not what I meant to say. I know I rely on you. I care about you. I don't have anyone else with Kamal gone all the time. But this? This is beyond belief. Nadia, you're my sister. Okay, I'm trying to watch out for you. That's rich. Watch out for me. By stabbing me in the back, might as well. They say the best time to strike is when the enemy is riding highest. Is that how you see us as enemies? No, Miral. That's not how I see us. But seems like that's how you see us. Maybe that's how it's always been. Oh, what does that mean? Kamal was saying I've been your sidekick for too long, blaming myself when I should have been holding you accountable. I told him he was wrong, backed you up, said maybe things are too much for you right now that I should give you the benefit of the doubt. Just like a sidekick would. But you know what? He was right. I've been holding your coattails for years. And this is what I get in return. Speak of the devil. Okay. So I've gone from enemy to devil in the space of five minutes. What's next? It's a figure of speech. And I'm using it to describe my husband who's calling me right now. Oh. Not everything is about you. Kamal. No, I know you've got a lot on your mind right now, but something I need to tell you. Let me guess. You're getting another call. No, no, that's not it. Ben, Kamal. I don't know how to say this. Just say it. It's not that simple. Can't be that bad. You'd be surprised. I've known for a couple of years now. I couldn't talk to you about it because I didn't have a way to have this conversation. I didn't want to hurt you, but I really wanted you to understand. You what? I've known for a long time, Kamal. It wasn't hard to figure out, really. Trips got longer, conversations about starting family got shorter, talking to moose took priority. I married you because of your sensitivity, Kamal. Even under all the jokes and deflections, you've never been a good liar. I'm sorry. Whatever. Just go. Just like that. I don't have the energy to fight right now, but I do have one question. Okay. Why today? What? Why tell me today? Because today, I realized I'm in love with someone else. Today was the first day I said it aloud. And to name a thing is to normalize it. Right. Are you happy? Yeah. I am. Fam, fucking tastic. No, I'm really, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hi, this is Kamal from the ICRC. How are you? I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Shame on. Yeah, this is Lopez. I've received Eduardo's rewritten assignment. Yichi, what are you trying to pull? So you've reconsidered. Yes, I appreciate you calling. What do you think of the redesign? To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with it. They were supposed to be here an hour ago. But you're still not going to deliver the shipment. Then what's there to talk about? I'm glad to hear that. Ganti and I collaborated on them. It's passable, I suppose, but what happened to the trip? Are you still representing them? I'm not sure I follow. I'm afraid they'll be for someone else to decide. I see. Okay, if that's what you want. Well, I leave next week back to the stage for another rotation. You'll have to speak with the lawyer. No, I won't be doing any work for a while. No, Mrs Lopez, he won't fail seventh grade. The police will find them. All right, take care then. Bye-bye. I am taking a sabbatical. Thank you. Okay, counselor, have a good rest of your day. There's just a lot going on, some personal matters to attend to. Of course, Mrs Lopez. Sure, you can ask me. I do believe in God, yes. No, it's all right. Go ahead. Am I Muslim? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on who you ask, I suppose. And in what light I'm seen. No, I guess I don't really know. Maybe I never did. Thank you so much, folks, for checking out this evening's production of Snapshots, brought to you by Convergence Theatre and live streamed here on HowlRoundTV. I'd like to take a moment now to introduce the actors who performed alongside one another tonight, of course, in a virtual space. Performing the role of Mustafa, we had Exandri Oji. Performing in the role of Kamal, we had Mikhail Chaudhry. Performing in the role of Miral, we had Fabiola De Silva. And performing in the role of Nadia, we had Lakshmi Melitarubu. Thank you again, folks, for checking out this performance tonight and engaging with us together in this experiment of virtual theater. Just want to have one quick plug here to note that, you know, there's, doesn't seem like we know exactly what's going to be happening in terms of the ending of things and how long it's going to take us for us to be able to get to the point of being able to do theater in the way that we understood it to be for some period of time. And so as a result of that, there's a lot to be said for supporting local small theaters, just like Convergence and others around the country and around the world, wherever it is that you may be. So please check us out on our website, ConvergenceTheatre.org, as well as on Facebook. And if you like what you see and would like to see more of it, please consider making a donation. Thank you so much. Also, last but not least, please consider joining us for the post-show conversation, which will happen right after this, information about which is going to be shared momentarily. Thank you so much and have a wonderful evening.