 Okay, so if you don't know, getting a guide to chase you and pursue you and have a movement like an energetic movement towards you is a very important thing. On a short-term basis, it really makes you feel good and it makes you feel validated and it shows that you're cared for. It also shows exactly how interested he is in you. If he's not moving towards you, you may, there's a problem there. There's something going on that you should be looking at. It gets him invested in you, which makes him feel like he wants to stay with you. It's the sunken cost theory, I've talked about this before. It'll also make it so that he rationalizes, he backwards rationalizes why he behaved the way he has, as in he really likes you because he probably doesn't do this for every woman. If he does do that with every woman, it's probably a red flag. It's also important that he's chasing you because if he is chasing you, then you know that he's not dumping you or anything because he's moving forward, he's pushing things forward. He's trying to get with you and invest in you and do all these things. It's important that he wants to chase you and he does it from the space of wanting it and not doing it because he feels like you're manipulating him or he's obligated to do this or you're forcing him to do it or something like that. Today we're going to be talking about exactly what to say in order to get a guy to chase you. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you like my work and you want a relationship where you're really valued and seen and loved and cherished by a great guy, make sure that you go over to theforeverwomanformula.com and check out getting my entire program there for free. It's all of my best work. I'm giving it away for free. Go to theforeverwomanformula.com. What are we talking about here when we're talking about getting a guy to chase you? How does this work? How do you do it? How do you make sure that he's chasing you or that he wants to chase you? The easiest, most simplistic way to do it is to set a standard that he has to live up to. The reason that you do this is because it shows that you believe in your own value. You're not willing to put up with low-class behavior or low-class people around you. It gives him something very specific that he can go and strive for. It's like this goal. Men are goal-oriented. The mask is goal-oriented, so you give him this goal that he has to go and strive for. It also shows you if he's interested in something more than just a hookup or your looks or something like that because if he's striving for this goal that you're setting for him that is beyond a materialistic superficial goal, then you know that he's interested in something more. That's very, very important. Also if you're here with us right now in the chat, make sure that you say hi and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's always cool to see women from all over the world watching these live streams with us. Make sure you say hi in the chat. How do you show that you have standards in a way that makes it so that he wants to step up and chase and pursue and invest in you? Here's how you do it. The first way is that you express a preference. This is the very basic, easiest way to show that you have standards is to express some kind of preference. It could be any kind of preference. You're not willing to go for any guy or do anything. You have a bit of pickiness to you. Being a little bit picky or being picky shows that you have options. It shows that you're not desperate. It shows that you're not just trying to go for any guy. Any guy will do and I just got to make this happen and you're the guy so I'm going to go after you. Wrong. You have standards. You have preferences. Here's how you say that. One way that you might say this is I only date guys who and then you fill in the blank. Try to give you templates here so that you can just take it and run with it. I only date guys who act like a gentleman. Again I just want to say this as a caveat because I get women all the time that I had another woman the other day who sent me a message and she's like oh tonight I'm going to take all the text messages from your text messaging program and send them all to my boyfriend and I'm like no that's not how you do it right you want to do it like you want to have normal conversations with people and the stuff that I tell you it's not to just go out there and you're just sitting with a guy and you're like I like guys who and just start saying and I like guys who I like guys who know you want to have a real conversation and in the middle of the conversation or you know add an appropriate time a time that makes sense for you to say these things that's when you say it and I'll have some other things that you'll be saying that are really good as well so the first one is I only date guys who act like a gentleman I only date guys who show me that they really care about me right and this is really good especially for like first dates or second dates or kind of earlier places in the whole courtship process is you're teaching a guy about you and how to interact with you right you're setting standards for him you say I only like guys I only date guys who you know really they show me that they really care for me because it makes me feel loved and cared for and appreciated and you know when I feel like that I just feel so much closer to a guy and if I don't feel like that then I you know it's probably just not right for me right and so you're expressing to him exactly what you need and I hear sometimes women will say things like oh don't tell a guy you know how to make you attracted to him don't tell a guy how to you know make you like a more whatever because then he'll know exactly what he should be doing you want him to know exactly what he should be doing right otherwise he's confused and he has no idea what's going on and you're gonna be incredibly disappointed and so yeah you want you want him to live up to your standards and you want him to to figure out how to live up to those standards and start doing things to live up to those standards so that he starts connecting with you and investing in you and being with you in a romantic way so the next one is I don't date guys who and then fill in the blank and so the way you might say this is I don't date guys who are just looking for a hookup or I don't date guys who don't have a job or I don't date guys who drink a lot right so you guys get drinks and you're like I you know are you a big drinker right and he's like he's like I you know I have a drink here in there and you're like okay cool you know I don't really date guys who drink a lot it's just I don't know there's something weird about it and and so you're saying these things right like I'm kind of setting up a scenario where you'd say it and you're saying these things and you're setting up your preference and you're showing him that you have these standards and you'll end up seeing how he starts you know like we talked about at the beginning of this video you'll start seeing how he responds to that you know is he responding to that in a way where he's stepping up where he's interested in you where he starts doing things to show you that that he's the kind of guy that you want to be with right and you're you're setting a frame right I have a program called the love frames toolkit you're setting up a frame that shows that you want something more than just a casual hookup you want a real relationship because why would you even talk about these things if you didn't want something real and so that's important and so the third way to express a preference is to talk about things that you wouldn't go and do or things that you would go and do right and sometimes guys will kind of throw out little things here and there to kind of figure out what kind of things you're interested in or not interested in because if he asked you out on a date to let's say that he's like oh let's go for a walk in the park and you hate parks and you hate being outside and all that kind of stuff I I know some women that that absolutely hate going outside you and he asked you that right and you're like no I don't think so well all of a sudden he's like oh I just asked her on a date and got rejected and I don't even know why it could be that she doesn't like going to parks and I just don't have any idea and she didn't express it and so a lot of times guys will will ask you things right to figure out where they can take you on a date where you'd be interested in taking you where he can take you that would impress you right and so you want to express things like I would go there or I wouldn't go there right like he might say some kind of restaurant or some kind of food and you'd be like oh I wouldn't I wouldn't go there right and he might ask you why why wouldn't you go there right and and it could be that you're just not into that or you don't like that kind of food or you don't go to those kinds of places or you prefer something else a really good one is talking about what you prefer instead because then you're giving him kind of that roadmap that we talked about before to connect with you on a deeper level and to succeed with you and to win with you which is ultimately what he wants to do if he thinks that he can win with you he's far more likely to invest in you and chase you if he feels like he can't win with you he's far more likely to be like okay she's unattainable and I'm just not going to deal with this at all and so you want to be attainable and I talk about that in other videos and programs and stuff that I have okay so number two if you get what I'm talking about here right now make sure you say I get it in the chat tell me that you get it so number two is enforcing a boundary right and so this isn't a wall this is a boundary having a boundary is something that that shows that you have standards it shows that you have high self-esteem it shows that you're a person who deserves what you want in life it shows that you're not placing him on a pedestal right that you have at least close to equal value in your eyes to him that that you have right to him and it shows that you have values that you live by and these are all very very important things especially if you want him to consider you for a long-term romantic relationship that's more than just hooking up or something like that and remember people who don't have boundaries are willing to do anything right so you don't want to be somebody that has no boundaries you have boundaries in your life here's the boundary here's the door right here's how to get in but you also don't have a wall because walls are things that you can't get through whereas boundaries have a door that you can get in that's that's the metaphor that I like to use because some people kind of ask about those two things always said I have a wall walls up mean that you're totally closed off and you don't want to have a wall up you want to have a boundary and so you know people that don't have boundaries they let people walk all the from and so what you want to do when you set a boundary is and I'm just gonna explain how to do this and then I'm going to give an example is they you say what you want you say the boundary you say why and then you ask him if he agrees to it so let's say let's just give a scenario here it's possible possible scenario let's say that he calls you up and he wants you to come over for a booty call at midnight one night right and you're like I don't think so so what you'd say is you'd say that sounds like a lot of fun and I'd love to come over some night in the future right so this is the saying what you want like that sounds like a lot of fun I'd love to do this at some point in the future but right and this is where the but is where you say the boundary but I'd rather we meet up during the day for now so that we can get to know each other a little bit better first how about we meet up during the day this weekend and so you say what you want which is that sounds like a lot of fun I'd love to do it sometime in the future you say the boundary which is I'd rather we meet up during the day for now you say why which is so that we can get to know each other a little bit better first and then you ask him if he agrees to it which is how about we meet up during the day this weekend right and so you're creating you're creating an agreement with him that he will abide by your boundary and then it's up to you to make sure that you stick to your boundaries because that's what a high value woman does so well well let's turn off some men absolutely but the men who are going to give you the relationship that you want are not men that are gonna be turned off by this right they're gonna be men that are gonna be like oh she knows her value that's really awesome like let's let's continue on with this let's continue on with this and so that's that one and then the next one is qualifying him and so again we're talking about setting standards and having him live up to those standards and the third way that we do this is by qualifying him by asking screening questions so you want to qualify him by asking screening questions you're finding out if he's gonna live up to your standards are not while you express these standards so you know how do you how do you qualify him like this and show him that you have this standard that he needs to live up to and you even ask having a conversation here like you know in the future are you gonna be doing this is basically what you're communicating are you gonna be living up to my standard in the future oh no okay we should probably just stop talking maybe depends on where you are in in the dating process so the first one is are you a good boyfriend right and so this is this is a great question because you wouldn't you wouldn't ask this question if you weren't interested in something long-term and so you're you're showing you're framing the interaction to show that you're looking for a boyfriend right or you're potentially looking for a boyfriend he's potentially being interviewed right now for boyfriend material which by the way I don't suggest doing like an interview style date ever should always be playful and fun and you just you ask a question like so tell me you know are you a good boyfriend right and so you're asking because you're implying you're setting the frame that potentially that is something that's important and what he says after that's pretty important as well right and my suggestion is that you believe him right he might joke about not being a good boyfriend or he might say that he's actually not a good boyfriend which is a huge red flag or he might tell you yeah he is a good boyfriend and have like a little caveat or some kind of tease or something there and so you want to pay attention to how he like how he responds to whatever question you're asking him and so the next one is are you a gentleman right and this kind of goes back to like the first one where we're talking about expressing standards where you're asking like are you a gentleman are you a gentleman like tell me something tell me something it's just really and you can do you can ask these questions anytime you want to right again like I said earlier you don't want to ask them all at the same time I mean you could you could play like a game where you just ask each other questions and stuff where I mean I've talked about that in some of the other videos and basically what you want to say is you know it could be anytime but you're just like hey have a good a question for you do you think you're a gentleman like would you consider yourself a gentleman are you a gentleman and just see what he ends up saying about that and a great way to respond to this if you know however he responds to it is if he says something like positive if he says what you want then all you do is reinforce that and if he says what you don't want what you want to do is break rapport so the way that this looks is he says you say are you a gentleman and he says no right you say oh that's too bad I was just starting to like you right that's a break in rapport right it's kind of playful and silly but at the same time you're like hey you know I have standards and I like gentlemen and you're clearly saying that you're not gonna live up to that standard which is okay but you know it's too bad because I was just starting to get to like you know starting to like you which you know shows that again you have standards he needs to live up to those standards if he says yes you can say something like oh that's cool because I just I think gentlemen are so attractive right so you're reinforcing it so if he says yes you reinforce it if he says no you break rapport another one is are you the jealous type right you wouldn't be asking him if he's jealous if you didn't care about something more than just hooking up again you're setting that frame what does he say is he jealous is he not jealous it'll tell you a lot about him you know you guys can have a conversation about that the next one is are you friends with your exes and so this is another one of those that could be good or bad and he doesn't know until he answers right or he might throw up back on you or whatever because it's like okay you know he could be friends and that could be a good thing right like you're like oh well you have good relationships even with women that you're no longer dating or seeing anymore or you can look at it as a negative thing like oh you're still friends with your ex that's kind of a red flag because you know you're still hanging out with your ex who you may or may not even be hooking up with anymore who knows what's going on there right and so it could be either one and so he's not sure he's not gonna be sure you want him to answer that so it can be kind of a fun and interesting question to ask him another one is what's the nicest thing you've ever known for a woman when you ask this one just be aware that it's kind of a challenging question and he's probably not gonna have a good answer for you right away and so don't don't put too much emphasis on it and don't like beat on him too badly for whatever his answer is right and he might throw it back on you like what you know what's the nicest thing you've ever done for a guy right and so you want to like think about those kinds of things before you ask a question like this and so the next one is what's your first impression of me right and so you're just you're kind of setting up kind of the standard for him to like say something that's nice about you if he's if he's smart right and possibly even tease you or flirt with you or have fun with you from that one the last question that we're gonna be asking with this group is how do you know if you like someone and so the cool thing about this question is it tells you a lot about him so if he's aware and he's consciously like aware of how he interacts and how he how he acts when he does like someone then it'll he's kind of telling you that right and then you can like look at those signs and he can look at those signs and be like oh I actually like this girl because I'm doing these things that I said that I do when I like someone or you know you can look at it and be like oh is he doing those say things that he said that he does when he likes someone and so you're learning a lot about who he is and what's going on with it so if you get what I'm talking about here again say I get it in the chat if you have any questions about any of this kind of stuff just let me know ask feel free to ask questions we're going to be doing question and answer here in a minute and so make sure that you ask your questions in the chat and I will get to as many of them as I can here in a minute and so the the next part and the last part that we're gonna be talking about here is how to make sure that you're not kind of going against this idea of setting a standard right because if you're setting a standard he has to live up to it it gives him you know something to go for and all that kind of stuff and there's ways to kind of counteract that though that will make him value you less that will make him feel like you're not really serious about your standards or your boundaries that will make him feel like he doesn't need to live up to those standards and boundaries and so this is what that is you know and kind of the main theme around this might be like being too too available for him right like one of the things I talk about is the scarcity principle and things that we value are things that aren't all around all the time are constantly available for us right and so things like canceling your plans to hang out with him or always responding to calls and texts immediately or always being there for him which you know a lot of these things sound like they're really good things but in reality most guys don't want that right and it doesn't it doesn't feel that good there's a woman in our community today who was talking about this guy who's like been super into her and he's like you know sending her text messages all the time and he's calling her babe and you know they've been dating for two months and he's calling her his his girlfriend and she's like this is too much I'm not ready to be his girlfriend I'm not ready for all this contact and him reaching out to me all the time and stuff and it's so funny because we we tend to hear a lot of the opposite in our community where women are like why doesn't he ever contact me and reach out to me and then you have this opposite side where this guy's doing all these things and she's totally repulsed but you have to remember this is human behavior and in human behavior there's certain principles that we all have whether your man or woman in dating and relationship scenario that you have to remember this is how it works this is how our biology works and you can fight it you can say that's not fair and I wish it wasn't that way and you know I just want to do all these things but in reality this is how it works and so you have to remember that when I talk about these things it's not that you know sometimes I'll have women that'll be like oh what you say is so sexist and it's like you know a lot of these things that I'm talking about are universal right like you do that to a guy and he gets repulsed you know a guy does it to you and you get repulsed right it's the same thing and so another one is making him the number one priority in your life especially if he hasn't made you the number one priority in his life right or when he wants your attention you give it to him always immediately right or you know the question is do you have any other things going on in your life right have other things going on in your life which will help you have more standards which will help you raise your own value in his eyes and it'll create this scenario that he has to kind of live up to you know being a better man being a bigger man investing in you doing the things that you want him to do in order to get your attention right one of the things that I talk about and I'll probably be doing a live stream here pretty soon about it is the idea of sacred right so our society has taken this idea of being sacred and they've thrown it out the window right we live in this world of the hookup culture and and all these people are just like hooking up together you know hooking up used to be a sacred act you know love making used to be a sacred act that we did when we really cared about somebody and we were getting into a really great relationship obviously not everybody did that but you know our society used to look at it that way women used to look at it that way and I think women used to be valued a lot more when they looked at it that way and it's not just you're hooking up it's your attention your attention should be sacred right because you only have so much attention and you don't want to just be giving away to any guy right you want to be making it sacred making you sacred making your body sacred making your time your attention your you know being with you your emotions all of that sacred right and when you make that sacred what that means like sacred is the idea that it's like this this thing that's high up right you put it up on this pedestal it's this thing that's very important and when you make you important other people see that you're important and they want to live up to that standard and so what I think you should do and in talking about all of this stuff because really we're talking about being valuable and believing that you're valuable because if you don't believe that you're valuable you're not going to be doing that and my suggestion for you is to start believing that you are sacred believing that who you are is sacred that your time is sacred that you are somebody that's worthy of something that's absolutely amazing and great in your life because when you start believing that that's when those great things are going to start happening for you and men are going to start stepping up and doing all those things because because of something I call the law of belief transference which is you believe it whoever believes something the most and the strongest will transfer that belief to everybody else so if you believe that you are sacred you are a sacred being you're a beautiful amazing radiant awesome woman who deserves everything that she wants to have in her life then and you really believe that in your heart and in your core than other people that are around you will start to believe it as well and so that's it for the different things on what to say to make a guy want to chase you again I'm gonna if you have any questions or anything about your situation make sure that you ask him in the chat and if you haven't already and you like my work make sure that you go over to the foreverwomanformula.com and pick up a pro my program the forever woman for free over there right I created that program so that you can get into the relationship you've always wanted a relationship where you're loved and you're seen and you're cherished by a great guy and I set it up to empower you and I'm giving it away for free at the foreverwomanformula.com there should be a link above or below this video or wherever you're listening to it if not go to the foreverwomanformula.com okay let's see what kind of questions we have here from everyone Julie Tree says Matt you is looking hot and younger well I appreciate that Remy says how are you I'm watching here in London you look more handsome today you know what I appreciate all the compliments of people thinking that I look absolutely handsome so thank you for that I love compliments I love them Rosenblout says you look great that hair the clothes how did you get how did I get you to chase me right okay Yvonne says hey love the new haircut yep she says yeah I really want a couple guys to chase they only text not call well I mean are you dating them is it kind of a new situation are you did you meet them online have you guys met in person before like what exactly is going on there my suggestion to Yvonne and I've talked about this in other pro and other videos and in my programs is that don't use the phone to try to get into lots of conversations you should be using the phone to meet up in person because that's really where the magic happens right that's where you really get to connect with a guy and all the real stuff and you get to learn about who they are really because guys can fake things right they can fake things over text they can fake things over the phone it's really easy to do text and calling and it's you learn a lot more about somebody through their body language and how they talk to you and whether they look you in the eye and all the things that they do when they're in person are very important cues about who they are and what's going on with them so that you can understand them better and have better conversations so my recommendation is that you don't even worry about texting or calling but you focus more on meeting up with them and you make your going back to this idea of sacred go make your texting and your calling a very sacred act right something that is not just given out freely to everybody but something that somebody has to work for and even more so use as a means to meet up with you because you're a busy person you have other things going on in your life and you don't just want to be sitting around having a text and phone conversation with with relationship with people right so that's my suggestion Mary says loving the jacket a Lynn said so I stopped him from texting hey you and he actually stopped doing it because I explained how impersonal it was yeah it is definitely impersonal Julie tree said I had a guy on Facebook wanted to date me but he drinks so I had to look the other way yeah it's good it's good it's always good to have standards it's very important to have standards so let's see here not getting some of these comments on Facebook loving the new haircut lots of people get it look like a gentleman today thanks looking good big brother thanks sissy Diana said how are you doing I'm doing pretty well I'm doing amazing thank you for asking V said a merry man is currently chasing me and doing giving everything to please me I even noticed him not wearing his ring anymore and he replaced the photo of his wife in his wallet with his driver's license license he keeps on telling me and expressing his something for me what does he want from me and what does this mean it means so what he wants from you is to cheat on his wife and what it means is that he has no honor or loyalty or integrity as a man and my suggestion is that you just don't talk to him at all anymore don't give him any of your time block him and just completely cut yourself off from him because he is wasting your time and even if he ends up leaving his wife for you he will probably end up cheating on you with somebody else because this is a pattern of behavior that he has because he has no honor integrity or loyalty which is in my opinion incredibly important values that two people should have for each other so Elizabeth said met a wonderful guy six weeks ago online went on two amazing dates but he doesn't want an LTR yet his fiance cheated on him a year ago so I had a chat following your advice saying I'm looking for a relationship he said he wants me in his life and doesn't rule out getting together in a few months but since then he wants to sext all the time is this a good idea Matt no it's not a good idea he told you basically what he is going on with him Elizabeth and what's going on with him is that he's not available for you and he's just trying to create that physical connection with you and what you need to do is completely cut him off and say hey when you want to like pursue something real with me let me know until then I'm just gonna keep my options open and you know I'm not interested in just doing some kind of hook-up thing right so again we're talking about setting preferences setting standards right setting boundaries like you know if you wanted to set a boundary right here what you might say is you know I'd love to you know do this kind of texting with you sometime in the future but you know right now I'm looking for somebody that's you know looking to be in something serious and committed and you know deep and real with me because it is important and it makes me feel good about myself and when I do this kind of just physical thing it just it feels gross to me and so you know if you want if you're interested in pursuing a real something real with me let me know and we can get together and hang out and have a real conversation and meet up and date but if not that's that's fine too good luck in life right so yeah you don't you don't want to compromise yourself and your values and what you really want for some guy especially if he's doing it like he's told you exactly what's going on with him and what he wants and that he's not he's not available and he's not ready and so my suggestion is that you let him go do whatever thing he's gonna go do in the hookup culture which is what it sounds like he's interested in and you know go out and date other people like I talk about in the forever woman program the forever woman formula calm gotta pitch it gotta pitch it yeah so Elizabeth says hi Matthew love all your videos and they've helped me a lot and I'm just a newbie I still have a lot to learn but enjoying it a lot you really made me think and open my mind thank you so much well you are absolutely welcome Elizabeth I am happy I'm happy to hear that so Brooke says off topic but what's a way to reject a guy you've dated but don't want it to go further don't want to sound condescending or hurt their feelings so Brooke here's my suggestion it sounds like you are a very compassionate and kind woman who really cares about people and that's really awesome and I think that's absolutely fantastic and you need to not be so concerned about hurting a person's feelings when you're breaking things off with them or you're rejecting them right because you have no way of controlling how they're going to react to something when you set up a boundary or you set up kind of a thing where you're like hey I'm not interested anymore some guys are gonna freak out no matter what you say right because there's a lot of insecure guys out there just like there's a lot of insecure women and so I would focus less on making it like worrying about sounding condescending or anything like that what you want to do is you just want to say hey you know this really isn't working for me I just don't feel it for you you know I think you're a great guy and everything but I don't feel it for you and it's really important for me to feel something for a guy that I'm with in order to be with him and it's just I just don't feel it and so I'm sorry right and the reason that you want to talk about your feelings and how you feel and don't talk about like oh we're not in alignment and we don't have you know we're not we don't have things in common or any of those kinds of things is that if you're you legitimately like you're not interested if you tell him things that are actually wrong like oh you know we don't have anything in common or you smoke or you do this or you know I'm not interested in that he's gonna try to fix those things right and it's just gonna make things worse because then he's gonna be like no I fix those things what do you know like let's get let's date again you know we can date I fix those things right and if you don't if you don't ever want to see him again you have to tell him you have to be like I'm not interested I'm I don't feel it for you so sorry like good luck in life right like I you know and not worry about hurting their feelings because you're you're almost certainly gonna hurt their feelings right you know being rejected especially in dating and relationships there are a lot of women that get really concerned that that take it personally right like a lot of men and women take it personally because they feel like it's part of their identity and it's like who they are is being rejected right so you're you're gonna offend people don't worry about that absolutely don't worry about that just be your kind loving amazing beautiful self and just let him know that you're not interested in that you don't feel it and so and if you do that it'll be better it'll be better for you Rosanne says love you Matthew I'm glad okay so young researcher says on a date is it better to talk about yourself or ask questions and let him do the talking well one of the things that I didn't talk about in this particular video and I do talk about actually if you get the forever woman program you get it you'll join our community right the inner circle community and in the inner circle community I have an entire program in there that you get that will be dripped out to you about how to get a guy to chase you one of the things that I don't talk about here that I do talk about there is the fact that you want him to invest in you in as many ways as possible and one of those ways is through conversation and so he like men there's something that Helena said the other day that was really kind of interest I thought it was really interesting where she said men don't fall in love because of what you give to them they fall in love because of what they give to you and when you're letting him talk to you he is giving you his gift of like telling you know opening up about himself and telling you about himself and all these things right and when guys do that they feel like they're being heard and they feel like they're important and they feel great so if you're on a date the best thing that you can do is get him talking right get him talking as much as possible have him do you know somewhere between 60 and 80 percent of the talking if you really want him to feel like your date went really really well and you really like this guy and you already know you like this guy and you want him to feel like it's going really well get him to do a whole lot of the talking right get him to do 60 to 80 percent of the talking because usually he'll feel better that way he'll feel like oh she she just listens to me and she understands me and it's it's just so nice to having you know somebody here that I can just talk to and one of the I was reading this study the other day where they're talking about how men tend because what they found is that that women are three times more likely to walk out of a bad relationship than a man is and the reason for that is because that that they determine was that men tend to be less kind of connective right so even with their friends they tend to be less emotional they tend to be less vulnerable and so the person that they tend to really be connective to an emotional and vulnerable to if they are that way with somebody is their partner their romantic partner and so men tend to only have one person in their life that they're that way with whereas women tend to have lots of other people and so they're far more likely to be like okay this isn't working and I'm tired of it not working and so I'm leaving right whereas the guy's like I want to leave but like I get all my emotion from this woman that I'm with and and I really connect with her and I don't want to lose that because you know I'll feel so empty and I won't have somebody to talk to and all those kinds of things and so that's kind of a tangent there but but the point is yeah you want him to be talking as much as possible Julie says hi Matt I love your videos I liked your session about older younger women older women younger men everyone I meet is 8 to 12 years younger I can't tell the difference you're so cute keep up keep up with the good work well I'm glad you enjoy my videos so thank you so much so Nicole says but what do you do in an LDR instead of using the phone FaceTime yeah FaceTime is good you know again with LDRs another thing is again you want to make it so that you're not totally available all the time there's kind of this myth out there where people are like oh we should be connected all the time because we're in a relationship and so we should be talking and texting and connecting every single moment of every day and that that that's familiarity right familiarity breeds contempt and you know I talk about the scarcity principle scarcity creates a feeling of value right it's it comes from economics the more scarce something is the more valuable we perceive it to be as human beings and so you don't want to always be connecting with somebody all the time and what you do want to do is if yeah I mean if one with an LDR you want to be making sure that you're meeting up with each other if you're in a long-distance relationship you want to be making sure that you're setting up meetups to get together with each other hopefully like once a month you know depending on whatever it is your situation is but yeah you can use FaceTime you can use Skype you can use Instagram actually if you get on Instagram you create an Instagram profile you can call each other and it's like a FaceTime calling with each other through Instagram you can just sit and talk with each other I do that sometimes with my friends Elizabeth says I'm loving the forever woman formula highly recommend it well I'm glad you like it Elizabeth thank you so much for being here and saying that thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it I appreciate it so Elizabeth says met a wonderful guy six weeks ago went on two dates but oh you already said that yep okay so Julie says I love your videos thank you Maria says haven't heard from him in two weeks we're exclusive how can I get him to chase me again well it should be a huge red flag for you that you haven't heard from this guy in two weeks right so one you you should be figuring out what's going on right like have you contacted him in two weeks or have you know you talked to each other two weeks ago and then you just stopped talking you know it it sounds like it sounds like there's something definitely wrong there right if you guys haven't talked at all in two weeks and there wasn't something where he's like hey I'm gonna be busy for two weeks and I'm not gonna be able to contact you right there's something wrong there there's something weird going on there and you need to connect and just be like hey what's going on right like I is there something is there something going on like hey are you okay are you alright right like and and just find out what's going on with him it's it's I think it's very very important very very important to find out what's going on because before you can get him chasing you you have to figure out what's going on in the situation that he hasn't contacted you at all in two weeks right you're like trying to go from like you know you're like a little baby that wants to like start running and it hasn't learned how to walk yet right you gotta you gotta get up and start walking before you get to running because this guy you know that's probably a bad example because you have history in the past but it's you know there's something that went wrong probably and you guys haven't talked in two weeks and now you're trying to get him over here you're like you know it's like women that come to me and they're like oh you know I broke up you know this guy broke up with me you know how do I see what kind of a text message can I send him that'll make him you know show up at my house you know apologize to me get out on one knee you know put a ring on my finger tell me that you know I'm the woman that he wants to be with for the rest of his life you know and and my suggestion is that instead of trying to do that you figure out the first piece which is what's missing what's what's the problem here that's going on because you need to figure that out before you even should care about him chasing you at all right because if you don't figure that out it can be a definite challenge Victoria says forever woman definition appeals to me good CJ says don't chase them just replace them but needed this advice you look radiant today the haircut suits you Matt greetings from Norway cool Esmeralda says love you Matt thanks for your advices all right you are welcome so Natasha says what if he lives in another province and he doesn't want to see you well I'd say that's a massive red flag and what's your situation are you in a relationship it doesn't sound like it he lives in another province and he doesn't want to see you it sounds like you should be using the forever woman program right like it's it's always interesting because I can always tell who's using the forever woman program and who's not because the way that they talk about things is very very different right like usually when somebody really starts like integrating the forever woman program they start talking about like you know how do I know which one of these guys is a good guy right and if they aren't using the forever woman program they're like there's this dude in another country and he doesn't like me how do I make him fall in love and you know it's like what you know what are you doing you know there's a guy that lives in another province and he doesn't want to see you what you know what are you gonna do what are you gonna do about that right you should use my program the forever woman the forever woman formula comm go check that out Abby says thanks for the awesome advice you are not only young handsome but also bright lucky woman who will be joining a journey life with you greetings from Latina Corazon well thank you Abby thank you Yvonne says how do we reach you for one-on-one info I'm not doing one-on-one info right now I'm putting I'm not doing coaching right now I'm doing a lot of I'm putting together a whole bunch of programs right now and so we're I'm kind of halting on the one-on-one stuff my suggestion is that you get into the forever woman program anyway and you start using that stuff because usually what happens is sometimes and I'm my coaching is really expensive anyway and so like when women come to me a lot of times they haven't gone through the program and so I'm like sitting there teaching them the program and I'm like look this works and you need to follow it and so it's like we'll end up spending a whole hour talking just about the program and I'm like this would have been a lot cheaper for you if you would have gotten the program online for free and gone through it 10 times and then used it and then found out what the problem was from using the program and then came to me with that right it's a lot it's a lot cheaper that way it's a lot cheaper that way Victoria says it's all extremely complicated so all I know is being feminine being attracts masculine energy that's true it's true you know and what what I talk about here is value right and being a woman who believes in her value because we get a lot of women who do things and a lot of times they're unknowingly doing it where they kind of repel men right they they do things that make men feel less attracted to them and it's you know no fall to their own and you know femininity is definitely one thing and coming from a feminine spot it's really difficult to do that if you have like insecurities and you feel like you're not really worthy of a great guy and you're not setting boundaries and you're not doing any of those things really hard to come from a feminine place because you're you know letting a guy walk all over you or doing whatever and then you can't really let your femininity shine and so I think it's important to do this as well I think this is some of the foundational fundamental stuff and you know obviously being feminine if if that's something that really connects with you and who you are I think that's also incredibly foundational Nancy says I always say hey you to be friendly is that rude I don't know when you're saying that to who Vanessa says how to treat a guy who disappeared for like a month but once a week he sends me a text with a funny video and when I asked why he disappeared he says he didn't disappear and he also misses me well I mean it sounds like he's he's bread crumbing you right bread crumbing is like when a guy like you know drops bread crumbs and he's like yeah just keep following me right we're still together you know and one day you know maybe he'll you know step up and do something but maybe not and so he it sounds like he's just bread crumbing you while he's doing other things and so my suggestion is that the way that you treat him is just ignore him and block him and be like you know I mean he he wants a month or once a week he sends you a text with a funny video but he's not trying to meet up he's not trying to do anything you know if you want to communicate with him with what's going on with you you know again like what I talked about with the boundaries here you might want to just set a boundary with him and just be like if you're like hey I like this guy but he's not stepping up and you want him to start chasing and you want to set set that standard a great way to do it is with the boundary where you're like hey you know like I'd love and this is the part where you tell him what you want right like hey I'd love to like meet up with you and talk and chat and go on a date or something but you know I feel like you're not really trying to do that with me and you know it it's really important that you do that with me if we're going to continue to talk with each other because if you don't it just kind of makes me feel like you know you don't really care that you're not really that interested and I I want to be with a guy who who really cares about me and and you know wants to be with me and wants to meet up with me and so you know if you if you want to meet up at some point let me know but you know this whole thing where you send me a video once a week it just doesn't really work for me right and just see what he has to say about that and if he doesn't have anything great to say then just you know leave it alone don't worry about it because it's you know that's that's all you can do right you can't force him to to step up Nina says men seem to be great for the first 18 months but they always seem to stray and seem to flirt etc. how can I spot this much earlier as it seems to be a repeating pattern which isn't obvious at the beginning they seem really decent at the beginning yeah so it it kind of so so there could be a whole bunch of different things that are going on here right and you know one it could be a pattern type of a thing right so you're saying that they end up straying and they start flirting with other people well the reason that they're straying and that they're flirting with other people is because they lost that feeling right and they're or they're losing that feeling they start taking you for granted they start feeling like you're not special like maybe they felt like you were at one time and so there's you know like really like I'm telling you I mean because it's kind of a big thing right there's kind of this thing about their past like is it this pattern that's going on with them which you can ask them questions right if a guy has a pattern of behavior where he ends up leaving a woman for another person that's something that you can kind of find out through questions but it's also one of those things where it's probably that he's just losing interest in you and then he's you know like he starts you know I mean if he's like in a deep relationship with you and he starts losing interest it's probably hard for him to like kind of maintain the connection with you not not to say that it's like you know he he should be allowed to do that or that it's okay you know like if if he does that with you that's really disrespectful and it's really messed up and you shouldn't put up with that even for a moment and my suggestion is to make sure that you're setting boundaries around stuff like that when a guy does that but there's kind of three so there's three things here one is you want to ask him questions and just ask him about like what happened with his exes you know like what you know what was there you know it's a there's in the forever woman program one of the parts where I is where I talk about I think it's in the advanced version of the program where I talk about like asking a guy questions to find out things about what's going on with him and one of the questions that I talk about asking is asking about like his longest relationship like how long is the longest relationship that you've had right because you want to find out these things about him because people live in patterns right and so if he's only been in relationships that are all you know eight months ten months long a year long or whatever you know you start to learn about that pattern if if you say hey you know like well how did it how how did it end you know like what you know and you just ask him questions about it right like some people say oh don't ask about exes don't talk about exes I think that's totally fine right like if if somebody like stays on the topic of exes that's you know I mean that's a red flag it's like oh it's because they're still emotionally hooked on their ex but if you ask them about their ex you know you get to view into their world of how they experience relationships and so if they talk smack about their ex if they're they have bad things to say about their ex that's a huge red flag right if they you know say that they ended up meeting somebody else and left their ex that's a huge red flag if they say you know any any kinds of things that they say are things that you are going to experience probably in the future right the only good kind of response to asking a guy about his ex is that you know is if he says something like you know like things just didn't work out we were growing in separate directions I really thought she was an amazing woman but you know like not everything's meant to be and so you know we ended up parting ways right like if he says that if he calls her names if he says anything bad about her if he talks about cheating if he does any of that kind of stuff those are all huge red flags that you should be looking for the second part is making sure that you use the stuff that I talk about in the forever woman program because that program and the stuff that I talk about in there is designed to make sure that he stays interested that's why we call it the forever woman because it makes you a woman that he wants to be with forever and those are the components of that so make sure you go through those principles and you're using those principles on a regular basis because it'll keep him attracted to you and keep him feeling invested keep him feeling love like he loves you keep him feeling loved keep him feeling like he wants to be with you for a long-term period of time and interested in you so it's very very important and yeah so I kind of went off on a tangent there I hope I hope that answered your question Elizabeth said thank you so much for the advice Matt I'm glad I haven't slept with him yet and I'm going to put a stop to the sexting and let him go and sort out his issues yeah and Elizabeth that's you know that's kind of the thing where I talk about where I'm like you know it's important to look at your body and your physical intimacy as something that's sacred right because if you know we live in this hookup culture where people are like oh we're just hooking up right like there was this woman a couple live streams ago where she was talking about how she got into a relationship after two weeks of being with a guy like we're boyfriend girlfriend we've been we're in a relationship we've been together for two weeks it's like way too fast right that's a way too fast and he starts doing all these things like ignoring her and blocking her and it's like you know you don't like for women for most women it's very difficult for them to separate like love making and like falling in love and emotional intimacy and so if you're one of those women that has a hard time separating those which is most women then you shouldn't you should be treating getting physically intimate with a man as something that's a sacred act that's something that's absolutely valuable that you cherish and treasure and that you don't give away to just any man right because you'll end up getting into these situations where your heart broken you're angry and you know you're regretting it if you do those kinds of things so how long do you do these live videos how often you know usually I'm trying to make it more consistent I'd like to do them once a week that's what I'd like to do them once a week Nicole says what if his stories don't seem to add up and they seem to be red flags do you confront him about it or wait for the pieces to fall apart what kind of depends on what the stories are and what the red flags are right and what you mean by all those things right if they're big enough red flags and you know it's it's one of those things like some women talk of there there's kind of this talk out there where they're like you know give give somebody enough rope to hang themselves with and you definitely want to do that right you don't want to have controlling behavior or any of that kind of stuff you definitely want to watch a person's actions and if they have red flags you want to let them do things that show you who they are and so you know it kind of depends on the situation and what exactly you're talking about in terms of like what the red flags are so Maria says thanks Matt I've reached out but still haven't heard back his job takes up a lot of time however it only takes a second to check in that's right it does only take a second to check in Maria and you want to think about this like I don't know how long you've been seeing each other and all that kind of stuff but you want to decide whether that's something that you're want to deal with for the rest of your life because that's kind of the situation that you're putting yourself in is a situation where if you're like you know if you have a guide that's ignoring you for weeks at a time it's like you know you're gonna be dealing with that forever if that's seriously because of his job right and so there's ways to kind of encourage him to do what you want him to do and contact you more often and all that kind of stuff I talk about that in detail in the love frames toolkit I'm not gonna go into detail about that here if you want to go check out the love frames toolkit there so let's check out okay so you know I get a lot of women that come to me and the women that are in our community by the way the women in our community in my opinion are the absolute best women in the world we have some of the coolest most interesting smartest you know amazing women in the world in our community and the women that come to us they want to be cherished by a man in a committed relationship they want a man who loves them for who they are they want a man to be as in love with them as they are with him and they they want a fairytale romance they want true love they want they want something that last right and you know there's we have a huge problem right now with there's a whole bunch of problems right now one of the biggest one it's is the hookup culture right this this world that we live in with Instagram where people are like going and just you know living for likes and we have Tinder where people are swiping and they're just going through on this superficial level and just hooking up with each other and you know there there's there's kind of all this stuff that that's really in my opinion it's not working for our society it's not working for our culture and for most women that come to me it's not working for them either right they they're not in a position where they just want something superficial they want something real most people are starved for a real relationship and a lot of women come to me and they're feeling like they're not good enough you know they're feeling like you know they're not really sure if they can even have the relationship that they want to have and you know my belief about all this stuff is that it shouldn't be this hard right I believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in relationships that are committed where each where both people love and cherish and value each other and relationships that absolutely last and that's why I put together the forever woman program right like I see all these women going through all these challenges and I put together all my best work into one program that you can get for free if you go to the forever woman formula dot com you can go and check that out I mean you know go there watch the video there sign up for our community you can join our community there for free if you decide after 14 days you want to stay a part of our community you can stay it's 37 dollars a month if you decide that you don't want to stay that's fine too you can keep the forever woman program it's absolutely free so my suggestion is that you go to the forever woman formula dot com and you check that out right because it's it's one of those things if you're having challenges right now and you keep doing the same things over and over you keep kind of having the same patterns you feel like you know you're you're having all these challenges with men you're having all these problems in your relationship my suggestion is that you do something different right because if you don't do anything different you're just going to continue to get the same results and if you do do something different then you can have a great relationship it's amazing to see some of the women in our community go from a situation where they feel like they're absolutely frustrated and lost some of them feel like they're ready to give up on men and dating all together and they they get into a scenario where where they have more men than they can pot you know they're like which one do I choose you know all these men are coming to me these men are asking me if they if I want to get married to them they're you know they want to be my boyfriend they want to treat me well they want to do all these different things and it's really awesome to see women succeed using our materials and so my suggestion is that you go and check out the forever woman formula at the forever woman formula dot com and get my program there for free thank you so much for being with me today thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey and you know coming and being a part of these live streams you are absolutely the best part of our community thank you so much like I said before join our community go to the forever woman formula dot com and pick up our program and there you'll also be able to join our community thank you so much I appreciate you being here I appreciate you trusting in me to give you the advice that I know has worked for so many women before you so many other women that that have been through it so thank you so much and I appreciate you and I will speak with you again soon