 Hi, it's Bridget, and welcome to Sunday Morning Coffee with Bridget. Today's topic is emotional hoarding, emotional hoarding. I was having a discussion about feelings as I've been processing through some really deep healing opportunities for clearing, for clarity, and of which I should say I have been sharing on Bridget-inspired Instagram, my personal healing journey. The recent ritual ceremony practice that I have been deep in right now, so if you're interested in that, check that out, Bridget-inspired on Instagram. But as I was discussing this whole idea of our feelings and emotions and how we express them or don't express them, like, mostly it feels as though coming from a place of being an empath and being someone who is super heightened aware, heightened and in tune and aware of other people's emotions and feelings, I do not want to hurt anyone and I don't want anyone to just to feel bad. Even, you know, just by accident, certainly not intentionally, but just by accident, just because I'm blunt or I'm straightforward or bold with my words or very, very sure of how I am feeling and I want to share my feeling and express that, get it out of my body, out of my body, out of my body. And not in a venting way, let me just say, not venting, but just getting it out of my body. And when I'm expressing my feelings like that, I also am on the flip side of that acutely aware of the fact that most of the feelings I'm expressing are not my own. I am expressing an excess of feeling, an excess of emotion that really it might be kind of sort of related to my stuff. I mean, it could be a trigger or something like that or something I've just listened to from someone else or taken on their story and just really felt that deeply and had empathy for them. Empath, empath, hello, are you an empath? Yes, you are. If you're listening to me, a sensitive person, of course you are. Of course you're heart based. And so you too, I'm sure, do not want to hurt other people's feelings. And I'm not just talking about random strangers or people who hardly know you, like on your YouTube channel, the viewers, et cetera, but people you're in friendships with and in romantic partnerships with and in sibling relationships with and all of the ways that you're in relationship with. So I was having a conversation about wanting to share my emotion. And I was saying over and over again that my feelings are mine, your feelings are yours. So when you, you do not need to, you do not need to focus on how I am going to receive what you are sharing with me about your feelings. And I am not responsible for how you are feeling as a result of what I am sharing. Now, this assumes that there is a general agreed upon trust in the relationship or a certain level of human decency, where there is a kindness as a hard and fast rule, as a standard operating procedure, just kindness. But kindness does not mean you trade off by holding back your feelings or emotions about something in your true opinion about something, especially when it's asked or inquired, directly asked of you, because you're afraid that the way you say that or how what you say is going to be offensive or hurtful to someone else, do not tiptoe around other people's potential reaction or response to your feelings. Now this goes into the whole people pleasing phenomena that many empathic people, people who are genuine and caring, kind and compassionate have. Now there is a fine line between telling someone off, being so blunt that you are rude and overly opinionated, sharing what you feel in a strong blaming sort of way, or as a righteous authority, versus literally sharing from a place of centeredness in your heart about how you feel. And acknowledging, here's the big, big, big tip, acknowledging as you are sharing your emotion about a topic, a situation, a circumstance, or feeling, a dream you have, a desire you have, etc. Where when you are sharing that to insert and acknowledge this is how I feel, I realize that you may feel differently. I'm not sharing this with you to, I recognize that this may invoke some feelings on your behalf, but I am not, I know that I'm not responsible for how you are going to receive how I feel, because it's my feeling. Like it's not, it's not about you, it's about me. And so the way you receive it, how you react or respond or integrate the information I give you or the feelings I'm sharing with you, that's my story and how you choose to receive it into your life, that's on you. So let's flip that around, let's flip that around and think about how it has been that you and I as empathic people, as sensitive people, as highly psychic, intuitive beings, whether you admit that or not, you are, you are highly in tune, energetic, psychic being, that's what you are. Hello, that's so how you move with emotion, in case you haven't figured that out yet. That is the connection between the heart and the soul, the soul and the heart, intuition and emotion. Hello, they work together, right hand, left hand, you need a move, that's how it works. Okay, that's how it works best. And so this power partnership, right heart and soul, heart and soul. So flipping that around, it turns out that you and I, we have been totally taking on when other people are expressing their emotion or their feeling. We have totally been taking that on as our own stories, adding that into our own crap and becoming emotional hoarders. We have been become emotional hoarders, especially if you're a people pleaser, especially if you really, really want people to feel better than natural instinctive go to ways to suck it all in like a Hoover vacuum and keep it for yourself. Because in some weird messed up way, it's like we feel that we are responsible for all these other people and how they feel, but we're not. We are also not responsible. We are also not going to inflict pain on people. We are not born and raised and walking around the earth to hurt each other. That is not the intention. Does that happen? Yes. And probably, probably hello, highly sensitive person, because you and I, we're trying so hard not to hurt people that we're becoming jerks because we are hurting ourselves and then we are expressing our own pain and hurt and anger redirecting it toward people who do not deserve it at all. People who we trust and love the most and we know will love us no matter what. So we take it out on them and really it's our fault. If you got to blame somebody, it's our fault because we, not because we're so caring and we just love everybody, but because we are trying to resist pain, trying to make people feel better by sucking up their pain and soaking it in and hiding it, hoarding it in the crevices in our heart space where we then become so overwhelmed that we are crazy people. We are crabby. We are frustrated. We take it out on people who never caused us the pain in the first place. And by the way, maybe just maybe you're causing your own pain. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but I have to face that myself because I have four children, significant other siblings I care deeply about. I mean, I have other people in my life that I feel, I feel very deeply connected to in relationship and I do feel responsible. I want to be part of the love that they feel for themselves in their life. And yet somehow the absence of pain has become the way that I as a sensitive person have been trying to create this healing, sort of healing approach to life. That's not exactly accurate. I'm not really saying that right. It's like if they don't feel pain, I don't feel pain. I am uncomfortable as an empath, as a psychic person, feeling other people's feelings when they're feeling bad, even if they're not really feeling bad and they're just doing the venti vent, big ventricine thing, venting, venting, spewing all their energy all over just to get it out of their body like a bridge it does because that's what I do. I do that. I for sure do that. But it's not clear to me as the person who's listening that that's what's happening because there hasn't been a clarification. How would you like me to respond to this? What is my role as a listener here? Are you just venting? Do you want advice? Or am I just literally listening? Am I just being like a sounding board, which by the way means bouncing off of not taking on. But we have misunderstood our role. We are sucking it in because we want to be comfortable. And by sucking in pain, how are you comfortable? Well, if the other person is not in pain, we're not constantly reminded of pain. Instead, we suck it into our hearts and we hide it. We hide it. We hoard it because the more pain we have, it's like a life vest almost like we feel like it's protecting us like a shield. And it's not even yours. It's not even yours. And you are not responsible for other people's comfort or discomfort unless you directly cause that on purpose with intent, which does not happen very often. Be honest. It does not. But you're so afraid that you're going to hurt somebody else or that somebody else is going to feel uncomfortable that you care about, that you are willing to hoard their emotional baggage and, by the way, compound your own. This is why you don't have clarity. This is why there's a constant need for clearing. This is why our life has become a lifestyle of healing. Healing is not an event. It's not a one-time thing. Clearing is not an event. It's not a one-time situation. Energy is constantly and consistently flowing. Healing is a lifestyle. It's a consistent part of your life. It doesn't have to be massive, major, like a natural disaster, and the cleanup after. It can literally be like a simple routine, a regimen to take care of yourself. And a great way to do this is by, in your interpersonal communications with people, clarify what your role is in the conversation. And when you, what is the intent here? If that person's coming to you and they have a lot of drama, they have a lot of story, they have a lot of stuff, and you feel it, you feel it, it's heavy and thick, like, oh, humidity. And some of you don't like humidity, but I do. So how can you stand and witness without getting all that on you? You can. It is possible. Be clear. Clarify your role. Is the intent here to listen, which means sounding board, let it bounce off you? Is it to give advice? Is it to just let the person vent? And then you say, okay, go for it. And during the whole time they're talking, you recognize that this is not yours. It's theirs. This is their story. This is their story. I'm a witness. I'm an observer. I'm a witness. I am listening. That's it. You don't fix. You don't jump in. You don't resonate with or relate to. You don't do that. You just witness. You be there. That's it. That's it, which means you have to be uncomfortable. You have to allow yourself to be in discomfort with someone else's pain or their drama or their trauma, whatever it is. You have to let yourself have your own feelings and recognize that those are yours. And that's it. And you might get triggered. Yeah, it happens. Deal with it. Deal with it. It's an opportunity then to heal and clear and get clarity and use your tools. That's why healing is your lifestyle and not an event. Not a one-time thing because you know how to handle that. After that conversation, you step in to when you have the next opportunity to work on your own healing that came up because of a result potentially of that conversation. Or you just move along to the next thing. And if you are in a place where you are the person that is sharing, you are expressing your feelings because you got to get it out of your body. So you're having a conversation with someone you trust. And you are sharing and you're venting and you're moving the energy through your words. You can say multiple times and it's great to clarify this. I know this is, these are my feelings. This is how I feel. It is not personal to you. Although I might speak with conviction or talk about a situation that you brought up or something that you have done in the past or something that has upset me about something that you have been involved in. I am not intending to blame you. I am, I am really coming from a place of how I am feeling me and I'm owning my feelings. I'm not saying you made me feel this way. I am saying I have feelings and emotions and I need to talk about this. And if it happens to involve that other person and an action or a circumstance or situation or something that they've done or behavior or what have you, you can talk to them openly and honestly and be clear. But you can also say I am coming from a place of personally for me of how I am feeling. And sometimes when you're in a situation where you're trying to express your feelings about a situation or circumstance, it literally has nothing to do with the person sitting next to you listening to the conversation that you're having. But they might feel and want to respond to what you're saying or defend the circumstance or person or situation or or share their own feelings about it which then there can be a time and a place for them to share their own feelings about it. But at the moment you are speaking from your perspective from your personal feelings. And so it's not personal to them. It's really not personal. But when we when we are engaged in this conversation, it's a good we are engaged in conversation about feelings or emotions. It's a good idea to think about this whole concept of emotional hoarding and how we take on other people's energy and how we express and give other people our energy through our emotions. So you're not dumping on someone your feelings. You are legitimately coming from a sourced place of intention to share express your feeling and emotion from your personal perspective. You're not giving it to them to fix. You're not making them feel bad. If they feel shame or guilty or what have you or blaming whatever that's on them as long as you are expressing yourself from a very pure place a sourced place of intent to share your emotions to give words to your emotions even if it's blunt and however they perceive it or receive it that's on them. And you can even say it's this is not personal. This is about me and how I feel yes personal to me but it's not a personal thing for you. Like I don't need you to fix this. I don't need you to to correct me or try to make me feel better. I just need to talk about this. I just need to share exactly how I'm feeling because I don't want to be an emotional hoarder and keep my own feelings at bay or take on anybody else's feelings in this normal process of living. So do y'all understand? I know it's a big deal for empaths and for highly sensitive people and our sensitivity is heightened right now. It's really big and bold and fierce and can be highly misunderstood and so it's really important to recognize the tools that you have at your disposal. Tons of tools, meditation, journaling, EFT, tapping, exercising, walking, being in nature, just to name a few crystals, essential oils, prayer, yoga, other exercises, swimming, activity, reading, poetry, singing, toning. There's so many things, so many ways to enjoy the connection to your sacred self through a healing lifestyle. There are so many ways to manage and cope and deal with the overwhelming overload of emotions that come from too much energy of emotional hoarding. You've got lots and lots of tools. Use them. Use them. So this is Bridget. I hope I've inspired your spirit and filled you with hope today in this Sunday Morning Coffee podcast. Be sure to check out the playlist. There's a ton of different topics that might spark your interest or be directly related to something you just might happen to be working on or going through right at this moment in time. So check out the playlist for Sunday Morning Coffee here on Above Life channel on YouTube. Thanks so much for listening.