 Group co 21 studios guest hosting today's episode of the red mag group patriarchs filling in for hunter drew. You might have to come on the show later today Shit. Oh, that was me. I just was like the fuck's the audio coming from sorry guys technical problem That was my own audio playing off the YouTube video back to the show Anyway filling up a hundred drew today. He's usually the host is that this you know style the show of patriarchs edition for fathers and husbands He's in the hospital right now. His little sister is having a baby. So it's going on So he might be coming in later in the show today. We'll see Anyway, it's episode 15 and we're talking about Long-term relationships and marriages and maintaining attraction through these things as well as how to get back into the dating game Once you get divorced something that I've been through myself given though. I'm not a father Joining me on today's show is of course, Texas Dom and alumni speaker of the 21 convention twice over as well as You know frequent panelists on the red mag group patriarchs. He's been on several times and today with me Tim T. W. Beckett here He's on Twitter at a father's journey and he has also as a website at a dash fathers dash journey calm All the mentor of himself in a minute, but he's happily divorced a single father He has shared custody and his kick-ass dude that comes highly recommended from hunter drew for today's show So that said boys Janks. Thanks for joining me today. The only I appreciate you filling in for hunter. I sleep hundred a to want to show up without the beard, you know He shaved his beard off and I'm thinking he's just gun-shy now I see his photo, I don't recognize him on Twitter and stuff. I'm like, oh shit. Who's that? Yeah, we'll give him some shit when he gets here if he gets here. So hopefully his sister's doing okay Family stuff first, right? That's what patriarchs are all about Absolutely my sister, of course, too, if you guys didn't see that had a baby on Monday my first nephew, so I'm pretty happy about that Uncle dream uncle dream. Yeah. Yeah So before we get more to today's topic and get into discussion all that Tim can you introduce yourself to the show? Yeah, you don't know you? Yeah, absolutely. My name is Tim Beckett. I am actually a single dad divorced about three years now and started a Twitter at TW underscore Beckett and it is basically designed and as well as my website a dash fathers dash journey comm It's designed to help guys who are Basically coming out of divorce by kind of explaining and showing my life and everything that I did And I am experiencing right now. So it's almost like I'm live tweeting every day Exactly what I'm doing Getting back into the dating pool dealing with single dad issues dealing with custody issues with my ex just some of the things that guys are Essentially struggling with that I can help them with and I can get them some information that they really need So I do a lot of different things. I essentially discovered all sorts of things when I got divorced I discovered game I discovered Something you know, I was basically blue pill baited my entire life and when I About three years so I was and I'm 43 now So better late than never they say but I actually discovered it. I read about it. I studied it and took it and Tried to make something better of my life and ended up really Having some success and I'm just sharing that with everybody and Trying to live my life to show people exactly what they can do and guys, you know guys who are out there struggling You know, we see a lot of guys who are really doing struggling with their lives after divorce, you know, a lot of these guys are just Essentially lost after divorce they just woken out of a coma in the social sense And so I've been trying to show these guys that there is life after divorce You see, you know guys who commit suicide every day 70% of suicides in this country or men a lot of them have come Suicide is way higher for men after divorce than women too, right? Yes. And so these men need Help and so that was my whole design was to and my purpose really was to help men Who were zeroed out and who were looking for something? you know who were looking for somebody to hang on to a tribe even if they if you will but Just to give them some guidance because there's not a lot of that out there for guys who are just getting out of this So that was my whole purpose and how many kids do you have? I have two two daughters One is ten and one is almost. I'm sorry one is 12 and one is ten. So Nice, yeah, I do your story man I know I found out when I texted you on Twitter the link to join the show And I talked earlier in the year. I think yes, this guy Taking off Tim and over 5,000 followers. It's pretty serious. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and I started the Twitter feed back in September 2018 and Really, it's evolved Essentially, it was just a bunch of red pill truths and then I was just like, you know, I'm putting that stuff out there I'm gonna put myself out there and I have a weight loss journey that I'm involved in you know, I've lost over 60 pounds in about 12 months 13 months now and Just showing guys that if they work at it and they they they struggle through it that they're gonna they're gonna be better So that's that's been my trying to inspire some guys out there to get themselves together So I got a question for you So, you know in all your research last three years things you've been hearing because I've obviously never been divorced So I'm the odd man out on that deal, but I always hear people say, you know You get divorced over money mostly but the more the older I get the more I think about it I think you get divorced over sex for a lot large part I mean you get like zeroed out in the bedroom and I know that's what kind of the session today is gonna be talking about a little bit But when that when that falls away, is it the sex or the money when you're talking to guys? Which one is screws everything up? The sex is what I'm overwhelmingly seeing There was a guy. I've got several guys now, of course that when I've when I've done this and I've kind of Grown with it I see guys kind of coming out of the woodwork Especially friends of mine or or acquaintances and guys over Twitter who are DM and me they're saying Hey, you know, your story is really similar to ours and I you know, I tell my story and really blatant You know, I was a blue pill beta and I was about as bad as they could be And I was blatantly bad So I try to describe all the nasty details so that everybody can kind of see that Yeah, I came from a lot. I came from a really bad place So that's kind of where but yeah, it's definitely the sex and Money was not was never an issue with my divorce or my marriage and my divorce was kind of Triggered by the fact there wasn't any sex. I mean I had sex twice in two years Before I before I got divorced so yeah And I go into pretty descriptive detail on my website about it just because it was you know There are guys who are in that exact same boat and they're they're struggling They don't know what to do, you know, they're begging their wives for sex and their wives are saying no So they're coming to me and going well how in the world do I? You know avoid that and avoid being where you were and so that's kind of what I've you know been seeing a lot of I was a mix of it makes a lot of sense to me that you get a consistent theme like that All these guys are raised with the same conditioning over the past 10 20 30 40 years So it's not surprising and I mean I imagine money can still be issued in some cases, but as sex is the core of what I mean Women are so emotionally driven that yes sex is the cornerstone of Feeling for them a lot of ways. It makes sense to me. So I'm happy the text No, no, no, I was just sitting there thinking I mean nothing sexier than a than a needy beta guy on his knees begging for sex Yeah And I can say that because there were a few years in our marriage where it was it was starfish Mercy sex is all that shit was and looking looking back at it, man It would have been better just to walk away from it. Yeah, you know time you just don't fucking know what you don't know So yeah, yeah, I mean all these guys here. Yeah, do I do this stuff? They don't know any better. I mean a lot of it's ignorance and they've been propagandized in the opposite direction So yeah, it's it sucks. I mean, it's a lot of America though Yeah, and it's it's more it's becoming more and more common and they're just their guys who are afraid to speak up about it Simply because it's embarrassing It's embarrassing to you know, go in and say, hey, my wife is I can't have sex with my wife or I'm not having sex My wife that just that they feel like it's a reflection of them and while it is to a certain extent You know, it's it's there's deeper problems there. So yeah, definitely You know if we could ever figure out how to market this stuff like they market Viagra Because you know these are the guys guys were you know guys were embarrassed to talk about not being able to get a boner You know and and now it's all over every sports commercial everything you watch, right? It's everybody talks about the little blue pills, right? We just figure how to have a market our red pill version of how to how to start having sex again, right? As well as that I mean God dang The problem with that is that exactly kind of what you're it is funny but what you're hinting at is that people want some simple instant answer and Going through that journey. I mean your thing is called literally a father's journey and you know repairing You know your own attitude and personality things in relation to women That's tough and that's pretty much every dude. So they don't want it. They want you know, the instant answer, which is There is an instant answer. You can go to a conference. You could take a workshop You could take coaching you can spend months even years trying to figure this out and it's gonna take time I don't I've never heard of anyone finding these ideas and this this community and the instantly You know within a week. They're all fucking fixed. You have to do decade decades of like mild brainwashing You've gotten from a culture that's opposed to being masculine and being a father and being being proud father leading your family And then you're married in your relationship. Yeah, absolutely So it was like that go ahead. I was just saying by the way, I saw panel I am the divorce guy and I'll speak to that You know that experience of going through that experience and then getting back into dating But I'm not a father and I can't speak to that and I can't even speak either to be like you too Can I think or better than me anyway, especially text being in a healthier long-term relationship? Well, I tell you what I was it's about divorce too though. We talked about that before yeah, that's right That's right. We were about to about to just call it quits Yeah, and it was it was kind of funny It's the same thing that guys that have called it quits already are having to do You know, you start trying to get in shape you start looking in the mirror and you go, okay You know see old line what I screw that, you know when you're looking in the mirror naked, right? And and you know, I had that epiphany But you know before we got divorced and so I started working on myself and oddly enough She was same time starting to work on herself Of course, that's the only thing to really get you worried right when your wife starts going to the gym Your wife starts running or you know watching what she's eating, you know, you know shit's going downhill at some point No, that's true. That's actually a hundred. That's a hundred percent true Yeah, I think I see up in your SMVs a signal that they might leave they might exit So let's talk about before we get into the many more at least surface level negative stuff Let's talk about the positive stuff text. You've been in a marriage for over 20 years at this point. Yeah, 30 30 with 30 31 I guess so I'll know if she's watching I'll get she'll tell me later You've been married as long as I have been alive. Yeah, it's pretty scary, isn't it? And I tell you what like you just discussed so that has not been perfect But for a while it's been really good and so you can talk to me about the basics of what's worked for you to maintain Arousal and attraction and 31 year marriage Yeah, I think that was one of the reasons why the marriage always stuck together. It's because we always had great sex You know, I call it what it is. It was always great So I think part of it was was me in my journey figuring out how to be more dominant in our relationship And I'm kind of I kind of preach about dominant submissive relationships a lot for people that have never seen anything that I've written or talked about It's just it's just what we do, you know, and and that turn Taking care better care of myself. You know what? It's it's not always just a physical thing, right? It's the it's the mental attitude. It's taking care of the family It's taking care of your job is taking care of your responsibilities it's basically charging out and leading lead, you know, leading your team leading your family and Some women find that to be incredibly attractive, you know, combined with the other things that you're doing and they want to be They want someone to lead, you know, I think most women really do that I think there's a bunch of them that won't admit to it and then there's rest of them that are like lesbians and stuff You know, I mean Just kind of the way it is, but it could be it could be a pretty damn good thing if you're doing your job But at the same time it's hard as hell to To lead I mean if it was easy everybody would have already done it by now, right? So to be able to lead your wife to be able to lead your family to be able to do things and make good moral decisions It's sound decisions and just do all the things that you're supposed to do Shit Tim didn't win. Oh, no Hope I hop back in a second. Yeah, no no problem But it's like I said, man, it's a it's a long journey. We talked about that's a long journey It's 30 something years, you know, we were together before that as well. So you just You know, you're gonna have your ups and downs. You just try to have more ups and downs. Yeah Yeah, so talk to me about the turning point you mentioned you always got divorced That was I don't know how many years ago That was obviously a big turning point probably in your life and obviously in their relationship So other than like the red pill like what, you know, it's fun that and what kind of changes are made Yeah There's definitely a pretty a pretty good blog post that I wrote on my blog. I'll try to put it up later But we were both neither one of us wanted to get divorced But we could just just wasn't working everything was just downhill downhill downhill and at some point My girl was basically trying to research how to be happy that kind of thing on the internet Right How to be a happy woman and shit like that because she was unhappy I was unhappy and She ended up stumbling across this Christian women's submissive website and she started the reading about submissive This was before the whole 50 shades thing was was really cranking and she started really reading about that and she started trying to I don't know if they had like quizzes or some shit like that But it was basically she came she basically came to me when I thought we were just about that We were done and she said hey look, I think I'm a submissive and I think you should be my Tonya, you know, she goes I I really want to know she goes. I I think we've got this wrong I've been trying to drive the bus here and you've been trying to drive the bus We've been button heads now for five six years. So basically she comes up to you and she's like daddy tax Can you paddle me? Later Real stuff, I mean and and I give her full credit. I mean had she not had that conversation with me I don't think we're together right now because you know, two people can't drive the same bus It just doesn't work and and you got strong will people and people think that submissive women are not strong will They think that their door mats and they don't want to be called a submissive because they just look People look down at them or whatever. I tell you what man. She only has to be submissive to one person me everybody else man, she's she's She's a force to be reckoned with and so, you know, I mean and that's a good thing, right? But when you got to two stubborn people button heads all the time eventually Yeah, you call it quits until one of them says hey wait a second It's like the it's like the two I hate to use the word dogs with two dogs in the backyard that run up Meet each other one of them just completely rolls over real quick and realizes they're out They're out, you know, they're outnumbered here type of thing No, it's it's good stuff I mean it's it's and we don't take it for granted and we always assume that it could go south in any minute And so we both have to work at it and can't take your foot off the gas in terms of the Dom stuff stuff What do you say to critics who just try to immediately reject that or throw the baby out of the bath water? And you're like oh, that's for you know weirdoes or freaks. That's too extreme for me I mean a lot of people don't even have a clue like what you're talking about almost they're very they finish She has a great and that's it That's the problem that movie was so jerked up that you know when you try to watch it It's yeah Some kinky stuff in it and they say the other but what they don't realize is that Dom submissive relationships are not kinky relationship Unless you want them to be you know, it's it's more, you know, man It's almost like how your grandparents live in the 50s, you know, he was he was in charge She did things around the house kept things going and and that's the way I try to explain it to him It's kind of like how how your grandparents were maybe your great grandparents were you know back in the day Because you know guys ask people how do I talk to my wife about this? I like this idea and I say well you go nostalgic You start talking about how how it was back in the day and maybe that's be something to try and then you got to you got to pull it off Yep Tim do you have any comments on this in terms of I don't know what your relationship experience has been like since divorce or previous before that But a lot of guests put me in a post to be the most relevant in this case In terms of maintaining attraction and arousal in our long-term relationship Well, I would tell you that it is definitely a man's job is I've been through let's see ever since I got divorced I've been in four kind of longer-term relationships and They were all with and I've written about this on my blog. They were all with relatively liberal women and When I first came out of my marriage and I was you know jumping into the dating, of course I had a migtal phase which was about about 16 months 18 months and just kind of that's when I did a lot of the reading got a lot of the red pill stuff and Then when I did that I went on my I got into my first relationship kind of about the same time And I just didn't know what I was doing so I kind of in every one of those relationships every one of those four relationships were three-month relationships and I always call it the three-month itch is what I call it and Every it was the first two were basically me being very beta and They ended very quickly because these women were very strong and they wanted that they wanted a man to lead But they they did want a man to lead they didn't want to be they didn't want to be strong And then my last two as I was learning the pill and learning how to Kind of the relationship dynamics. Well, those last two I started to assert myself as the leader of that As the lead and do things that a dominant man should do in a relationship And it was met with the first one was met with very much Some pushback and the second one was essentially me just putting One that was just breaking up with the other one and so that was my I was most probably my moment that I really knew that the red pill was working for me and that my my dominant male Attitude was really starting to work because I noticed that it was working for her and Essentially the relationship was under my terms And if she did not do what I would you know what I was hoping she would do then I could break the relationship off And that was exactly what I did What's it been like going from you know hardcore blue pill beta to actually learning these things in real life? I mean I had a similar transition to but mine's been a lot more I mean I've been this the man is here for so long that I've had such So much interaction to pick apart a stuff and all kinds of other odd shit along the way It's never been a clean cut thing like I think you've been through. Yeah What's it been like actually feeling that in real life and doing it and living it? Well, it's it's you can notice the transition because the thing that I really got me going was was was You know just P way and game in general just kind of That attitude was kind of what I was looking for and so it was teaching these guys that so as I've been dating and I had to stop dating because my daughter was Diagnosed with epilepsy recently, so I had to kind of take care of her So now I'm back and she's feeling better. Thank goodness, and she's about a month and a half epilepsy free So we're watching that but now I can kind of get back to where I was but I mean I essentially just kind of did it by practice and It was so hilarious because I had such crippling social anxiety that When I got out of my marriage, I was just like what am I gonna do? So I had to force myself to do things. It was like guys are always Kind of making it kind of poking fun at the fact But these you know These are serious issues that these guys cannot deal with and it was just about going to breakfast by yourself Or going to dinner by yourself or going up to a bar and just having a drink and talking to the bartender or whatever I had to actually just reteach myself how to be social again Because when you're married and that kind of a situation, I you know I had some friends that I used to hang out with but it was just me and my wife a lot of the time And so I just didn't have a social and I wasn't real social before I got married So it was just it just said I had to reteach myself. It was it but it really went well And as I started to gain some momentum and tried to figure out some things I keep getting better and better and it was just It just it really got me thinking about what I had a lot of guys will look back and say I wasted my life But to me, it's not wasting your life if you wake up at some point no matter how old you are So that was something that really hit home for me In there you're basically saying that as long as you wake up at some point That's this has been your journey up to that point correct and it would obviously said deal if you do a younger But I've heard this a lot in the community over the years I was always so young and some of the guys that would attend the conference that we do That the older guys, you know like Texan stuff They look back these young whippersnappers at like 25 finding this shit and they're like a finally fucking knew yeah But the reality is a when it's as long as you find it I agree with that as long as you find it while you're alive and you've done really well I mean the better the better the two in terms like brain stuff But yeah, and the key is to you know, that's one thing that I don't I don't hold back on You're gonna make mistakes. You're going to you're gonna go through you're gonna go through some crap And I got a question for you. Yeah, I got a question for you How many of those three month relationships did it take you to get through before you realize that women like sex hard? It was halfway through actually it was my it was my it was my third relationship when it was it was you know, and and I She had this three date rule and we ended up adhering to the three date rule but the three date rule all bets were off and She basically just kept saying pull my hair pull my hair and I pulled it as hard as I thought I ripped it out of her head She really liked it so that's that was my that was my epiphany. It was really nice, too I don't say because these guys I talked to and of course I've been there myself I mean, I'm like six four my wife's five, too. I outweighed by a good hundred pounds, right? And so I was always worried I was gonna break her, you know I'm gonna smush or twist, you know break a leg or some shit and then you come to realize I mean, they're pretty tough. You know, they can have past a nine-pound baby through their Ruins, you know, I mean they could probably you're probably not gonna break them, right? Right, but no, it took me a long time to figure that part of it out, too, you know Well, and I'm I'm six foot four two hundred and forty five pounds So I'm a linebacker and I can pick them up and they love being picked up. They just absolutely love it. It's like a lot The woman the last relationship I had was essentially she's like well No man's ever been able to pick me up and it wasn't like she was big She was only about a hundred and ten pounds and I said well I can not only pick you up, but I can probably throw you if you're not You know, so I could and I could pick her up and I carry her upstairs and they just I mean She absolutely just ate that up. She loved it. So is this your sister? Is this actually your sister watching the show by the way? Yes, that's my sister I keep I keep seeing this. I'm like, this is some troll or what family Family family support, I guess she wanted to watch tonight. So I have some really bad news. Shannon your brother has sex Apparently likes it rough. Oh, yeah, dude up till up to about Four or five months ago one of my sisters lived with me here in Owenda at 21 And she thought she moved out downtown that's been on my own for a while I'll just bring all these tenor girls over and I would just use her for this so bad I'd ever answer the door and shit. I'd be out back And then she's I just banged these girls like 15 20 minutes flat and she's just like she's like and she was talking about I'm like, yeah, the day went really good. She's like Anthony. Those are not dates Taxi talking a little bit more though about you know in the years and now you've been living this dumb Sublife even even separate from that just for the average guy whether or not he's aware of that currently, you know What's maintaining the arousal attraction over time other than dobs up stuff maybe I? Think you know people get into this dumb stuff stuff and it's generally starts with sex They tend to start that way right and then the longer you do it the more it starts to just it evolves This is gonna sound blue pill purple pill whatever the hell you want to call it. I don't care the relationship deepens and You communicate more there's there's this this unbelievable trust there because you literally have buried yourself to each other and it's I take it how you want I don't care But I know that my relationship now with my wife is on a whole nother level than it used to be because of the Dom sub stuff because she's put all of her trust into me To basically she is she has basically opened herself up wide-naked and close on and basically, you know I'm yours. Don't screw me over kind of thing and trust trusting me that I'm not going to As far as keeping the arousal going. I think it's a it's a constant game of You know Kino and stuff. I mean it's constantly just just messing with her head You know trying to and you know You can have you can have short quick sex or you can have like long scenes where you try to plan stuff out and Have a long night at it and that kind of thing and you can't have those every night, right? It's just that we get pretty boring, but hopefully at least once a week you're doing something something pretty exciting You're trying to and even if it's just I know people say don't don't Netflix and chill But trust me Netflix and chill can can can be a lot of fun for a while, too And then you can take it to the next level. I don't I'm not going to talk about anything necessarily that we've done Lately, but I can say that you just have She's living in my frame and I have to constantly I Constantly keep inside her head if that makes any sense She she's always doing something. I asked her to do this ask her to do that. There's reasons for it she likes it she likes to serve she likes to make things nice and As far as maybe I'm off track here No, no, this is good But I wanted to pause and ask you on this so and you're hinting at it earlier and you're a little in the Comment here you're speaking your dumb sub this interaction in this relationship is the longer you do it The more it expands that side of sex is what it sounds like. It's her doing stuff It's her serving you not just you know in the bedroom. It's it's ever on your life There's people that just do this stuff in the bedroom the day and it's it's not that it's play acting It's just better moments. What they do, you know, they go in the bedroom. They kink it up They have a good time. You know, he takes charge. She she enjoys it. Everybody's happy other people live at 24 7 and you know when you can when you're Here's one for you guys that have been married in LTR for a long time Is your girl happy when you come home? She happy to see you Okay, if you're doing things right, she's probably happy that you're that you're there She's happy that she came home, you know, and so she's gonna spend her time trying to Keep you happy too. And so this is whole thing and we're both putting out our a game at all times And yeah, you can't be your a game all the time, right? Someone's gonna have a bad night So we have a bad day. She's gonna happen and all that but the other person can you know I can walk in I can read her I know I I know what I can do Yeah, I can tell her what I want to do or this that or tell her give her orders to go do stuff But I also know her long enough to know that she's got a splitting fucking migraine I don't expect her to go get naked and put on pretty clothes for me. You know, that's that's not reasonable after 30 something Here's a marriage It's just not what you do but and again She is under my charge. I mean, I am responsible for everything for her everything literally and and that's a that's a Responsible I take on willingly but a lot of people. Oh, yeah, we're gonna have great sex I'm gonna be your Dom. Yeah, let's do this right on and then they go shit. This is hard There's a lot of hard work and then they start slacking off and the wife gets pissed because she you know She's putting out her best effort and he's no longer putting out his because that's really hard It's a responsibility taken on essentially to lead and to die man. It's it's it's it's everything It literally is everything, you know, she has skills and gifts and she's very talented at things and and I will tell her I want her to use her skills and her gifts to enhance what we have going here But at the same time, you know, like I don't I don't tell her what the menu to plan, right? You know, I don't tell her what to go buy at the grocery store things like that because that's just that's kind of mundane And that's where that's her part of the world But I just think that there's this deepening thing and this telling us trust communication Respect and love and that kind of thing and and it's it's it's a deep ball and people think they get into it Thinking it's sex and it is but that's the sex is just the icing on the cake. It's a lot deeper than that Well open of the whole panel, this would be one of things both of you can tackle pretty well How do we bring life and excitement and passion back into a dead bedroom? Dead bedroom being an entire subreddit dedicated to it but dead bedroom is where things have died in the bed and Like you know having sex once a year or something like that that would be a good example that Some guys that I'm sure I've heard even, you know Worse than that from attendees of the convention and online and stuff years that go go without having sex with a wife or something Or in a relationship or whatever So can you guys speak to that? Just I mean, it's a huge topic, but just some of the basics of the fundamentals of fixing that I'd say to me I can speak from experience and know that I know what a dead bedroom is like. I know what Happens or doesn't happen in this particular case and so My advice to a lot of guys is to focus on What they're doing and get themselves right because a lot of these guys the reason they have a dead bedroom is because And I always talk about this once you get into your marriage and it's about two three four years down the line You know and it things become routine things get mundane things get just very robotic and it happened with me and these guys are You know going through the same things and they let off the gas Like text was saying earlier you've got to consistently Be at your it's close to a game as you can be in your best all the time or at least most of the time Because you have to keep her you have to lead her and you have to take on a lot of this kind of This pressure that you have to do and so if she respects you and she's going to you know Follow your lead then what you can do is make yourself an example But a lot of these guys will go and they'll start doing fantasy football And they'll start watching sports and they'll start going to tailgates with friends and drinking and watching porn and all of this this you know self-destructive behavior because Once they get married. It's like yeah, I'm married. So we're good We'll just kind of leave it off the we'll just let off the gas and hit the break You know pump the break a little bit I gotta say I've seen this just among the social circle stuff extended social circle friends and friends I've seen that this these kind of exact phrases and ideas these dudes will mount this off after getting married like a year or two later And I'm like it's it's I mean obviously knowing what I know. It's fucking alarming. I know it's an upload face But they say it's so casually. They just totally believe it. It's really common, too. It's amazing Well, I always like the the analogy of they're walking down the train tracks whistling. They don't hear the whoo-hoo Exactly like they don't and then it's like and then women were like Well, he told me he was blindsided and it's like and the guys like well, I was blindsided and you're like no You really shouldn't have been blindsided because look at your religion I mean and I'll just use my experience an example. Like I said, it was bad I think within the sixth or seventh year of our marriage My wife was and this is back in the time when porn wasn't free But she let me you know, she's like go ahead and buy some porn and I'm like Yeah, so it's terrible. It was really embarrassing and so yeah, it's like there are guys that are you know It's like and and one of my buddies is like, you know I have to do that because these guys just don't know what to do They just my wife won't have sex with me. My wife won't have sex with me. So I I'll say if you're in a dead bed and I have been Yeah It's possible first all right. I'm sorry second. It's possible to fix these right? Oh hell, yeah This is this is tough. This is my first point You have to ask yourself look at the mirror and say do I want to fix this? Okay, and that's shitty. That's a shitty question to ask But it's a lot of hard work especially you've gone down that road for six or seven years You know, this is going to be a lot a lot on you to try to fix this and We anything is red pill stuff as you've read you're going to fix yourself first If you think you're going to fix your wife and all of a sudden make her horny again. Good luck with that Okay, it's not going to happen. You got to fix yourself You got to work on yourself and and there's two good things here First of all, you're going to get healthier. You're going to get The happy chemicals endorphins instead are going to blow up gonna start blowing through you because you're gonna start eating Right, you're gonna start exercising again Now your wife can do the benefit from that or she is going to end up Not benefiting from that and some other woman's going to but either way you got to take care of your own stuff first and It really it's it's a three-pronged thing. I mean, it's it's it's body soul and and Mental stuff. I mean you just got you got to take care of yourself first because probably you've been if you were like me You're needy and you weren't doing things the way that that you know She probably expected you to do things you weren't quite leading or you were button heads and all you know You can't fix anybody else. You got to fix yourself first and take step one And the tough question is is this worth fixing and a lot of times it is and too many times guys just bailed off It's too fucking hard I'm out, you know or the woman says it's too hard. I'm out of here, you know And they and they give up on something that could be pretty good if they both put their put the effort into it but generally one person's got to start and you got you have this negative spiral going down and One person's got to stop the spiral and start to turn it around and try to make it go up again And once you start putting forth your best best effort Generally, you'll see her start to come around to the dread kind of kicks in and you know, she'll start to it's good It's classic everybody talks about it. They say the same damn thing because it works You know, it's the only way out. I think I Positive thinking man. I mean sounds like fucking hoopla half the time, but there's it's not because it's got real I think in a relationship of that that's that close to death. It's got real. It's got real legs Like that's what I'm hearing from what you're saying You have to be positive if you're gonna fucking do it at all. Otherwise, okay, I wrote a book called love and respect and it was highly recommended by somebody I respect quite a bit and Women want to be loved and they want to be respected. Yeah, men want to be love bullshit Right and so That was the basis of the whole book and this guy of course is written by a pastor It's got some blue pill shit on it but the fundamental basis of this thing is that you're gonna love your wife whether you think she deserves to be loved or not and Hopefully the wife's on board if you're reading this book together, whatever She's gonna respect you whether she thinks you deserve respect or not and that upward spiral keeps going and going So, you know, you take care of yourself do things right and don't be a shithole to her you know treat her well and If she she rolls around great if she doesn't and she decides to jet are you jet then you're just better off for you know The rest of your life anyway. Yeah Damn most of them Yeah, you always have to you always have to game I mean it and I think hunters said this many times you have to keep gaming your wife and that's something that men don't Men men are always on and they hate the idea of being of always being on they hate it They want to relax they want to have a place where you know, they can just And they could there's times they can do that but boy, they have to be on they have to constantly be pushing and constantly That's the one thing that if anything the red pills taught me is the fact that it's You've got to always be on you've got to always be, you know Bring your a game to everything and if you're not tough enough you need to get tougher. That's it. Yeah Then let's move the conversation forward a little bit and we could revisit this if we need to later with that It's a topic that's got I think Maybe not endless depth but a lot But this is a show hunter wanted to do was also on navigating dating after divorce Text you haven't quite been through that. I mean you have some input That's him. Obviously you've been through that quite a bit for me about the same too. It's been about three and a half years And I since I've been single I didn't legally get divorced as well wasn't legally married, but functionally was almost identical So I can hop into that too in a bit, but You know my experience has been wild. I mean again because I've been the man is here for so long familiar with all these things. It was just Yeah, I mean my for those who don't know I went through this merit, you know It's kind of four and a half year relationship marriage thing and two years that it was technically married in a way I find out Max my Wife at the time was a escort and had been for several years a long time including during the relationship So that was a fucking doozy figuring that shit out in addition to all sorts of other lying, conniving behavior Really extreme forms of like the worst elements of femininity and so getting out of that good moving back to Orlando about three hours from I live before That was a whole experience in 2016. I went through and that was wild, you know I've been dating and you know didn't pick up for years before I met her I've done You know for example before I met her I'd approached like probably six thousand woman or something like that and bang six thousand woman Of course, but I'd approached that many at bars and clubs So I didn't have the same experience as you did Tim in terms of like social anxiety and stuff I was kind of rusty obviously getting back into that but within a few weeks. I was kind of that ended up wearing off But a lot of it was still new to me I mean it was when I was dating before when I met her, you know tender and bumble these dating apps did not exist I didn't have an iPhone in the apps themselves and they didn't exist at that point almost at all But getting back into that in 2016. I was like look at this look at these fucking tools I have now in addition to going out meeting women all these things So my experience since then has been I'm still single now I've not I've had a couple relationships like you have I don't call them relationships because they're a little bit shorter. They last about two months tops. They don't make remark That's my own thing too And I've turned down many women at this point that have wanted to be in relationships And sometimes I blows up in my face and they'll be screaming Colombian woman and other times it burns down a firing Inferno and other times it doesn't and they'll bang them again six months later a year later. So I've had a really My life is, you know, pretty fucking wild in about 10,000 different ways Dating post divorce has been very consistent with that So but if you want to hop I think if I hear your experience of working pop it with my own ideas or advice as we go Yeah, I think that my experience essentially was I When I got divorced, I didn't know what to do I mean, I just didn't know and I'm probably with a lot of guys They just I knew that I wanted to get a divorce So when I when I did that I was the one that filed and everything so I got out of it and I Essentially went and I was I had heard so many guys who had just come out of divorce jump right back into or jump into Online dating or whatever and I had actually met my wife through e-harmony Yeah, see so I mean and it was just like I'm I decided that I was going to Steer clear of it at least in the beginning so that I could Hone some type of social skill That was the whole point of me doing game was like I have to be able to you know, I own my own company I was you know, I should I needed to be out there I'm the face of the company so I need to be out there So I had to hone my social skills whether it be with women or men just to get myself out there So what I started doing is I started networking and I started doing a lot of business events I started doing a lot of just going to random bars and just sitting at the bar and talking up people just just to do it And it was hard at first and a lot of guys don't know how to do that But eventually I got to the point where I was talking up bar patrons I was talking up servers and having dates with them and and and it was just kind of all over the place so Um, but I knew I was at least generating some kind of game And I didn't have to go online to to to do that You know a lot of these guys will just the minute they're divorced they'll jump right on and get into some disaster On tinder or bumble, uh, and they're just and they've not learned anything So my goal was to not be ignorant. I guess that was the whole that was my whole goal and so And I'm still learning to this day so it was uh It was you know, I'm still and I'm showing I'm sharing it with all my followers. I'm sharing what I'm learning Uh, so it was just it was just what it was. So No, I can speak to that too that you mentioned, uh, you know getting immediately jumping into tender mumble and these things and online dating And I actually waited, you know for all six weeks But for me that felt like a lot because I knew the minute this happened I mean I moved in with Socrates temporarily for like two weeks I'm gonna find a place in Atlanta to live into a longer term for about two years. I'll live there And I knew it was like all right. I got in these apps I started swiping and these girls are matching with me, but I didn't want to Emotionally, I just wasn't ready for that much. I could I could feel I was like, this is a fucking absolute bomb in my life My the wife had been living with for you know, live with for all these years of fucking prostitute Uh, so I needed to kind of deal with that but even separate from that I could feel I was like I'm not ready to like dive into this and doing it could be dangerous And I was more right than I knew looking back on it Like had I met the wrong woman at that time in my life? I could have easily knocked a girl up done some stupid std is what kinds of stuff So I ended up waiting about six weeks before playing with it more seriously And I got lucky right off the bat. I was able to bang a pretty decent seven. It's a nice little nurse Pretty quick and that was that was it felt really good to you know, kiss a woman for the first a new woman for the first time in a long time Fuck a new woman for the first time in a long time So it was therapeutic to finally do that, but I'm glad I waited at least, you know, minimal six weeks Other guys I can imagine would need a lot more than that And that got me to a good to a good kind of roll after that It was, you know, it wasn't like every day or anything like that But every few weeks I pick up a new one like that up tender or something like that And then that kind of got me eased me back into going to bars and stuff like that where it's a little more intense But even having done it thousands of times at that point It was different having not done it for you know, four or five years at that point So the rest was coming off and that took that took a couple months to come off Um Even to this day, I feel like I'm still I'm probably better at it now than I have ever been But I still feel I would wonder sometimes it's self doubt. I'm like, shit Was I better at like 22 or am I better at like, you know, 31? I don't know With all these absence stuff. I mean this is like women. Do they even have to leave their couch now? I mean, do they do they go to bars anymore? I mean, I'm not a single guy. I don't know all this stuff Half the time they're on their fucking phone playing around ellie holst says it's funny as shit when he talks about it He's like they're always I forget the exact terms he uses but they're always playing with their phone or charging the phone playing with their phone Charging the phone. The charging bit is what got me because I don't really think about that, but he's right Yeah But at bars not text you actually see that these young girls that are in their teens and 20s and stuff They're on their phone constantly And not I'm not literally the whole time, but it's a lot And I've even seen those is kind of rare, but you'll even see some girls have like a fucking You know some kind of beta orbiter or maybe some like coming out of beta more like some gay guy They know Swiping on tinder for her, you know, when she's it's fucking nuts, man So we're out of bar. They're getting hit on or something and then there's some dude on their phone swiping tinder for them nuts That's a administrative assistant to outsource. They're swiping. Yeah. Yeah I think I wonder also tim I could when you got out there and you're you're 40 now you're 43 You say I mean the the available women that are out there now. Are they all damaged as hell? We are there's some pretty decent ones out there still. I mean people always talk all they hit the wall at 30 They're all messed up by 40 There I mean there there are I mean a lot of them are I think a lot of them are having what we are seeing now this this this kind of buyer's remorse They were sold an idea about a life living a life like a man Uh, and you know, I always tell them that, you know, it sucks, you know doing what men do sucks If you're a woman and you're trying to do what a man does because a man is, you know Built for different types of things and a woman is and when you try to have a career and focus on your career Well, all of a sudden these women are looking at it going You know, I want to have a child or I want to, you know, I've seen 40 40 plus year old women who haven't who are childless Who are just like, you know, uh, you know looking for kids on on bumble or whatever and so it's like I'm not looking for kids. I've had two kids. Uh, I'm I'm good there But I just I do see quite a few of them, but I also see some You know, I don't have an issue single moms. I like single moms. They just have to be, you know, I have to vet them You know, I I dated, uh For two single moms and two who were not single moms in my four relationships. And so they were You know, they were all very They were all very independent, but it's like You know, they almost to a fault, but they yeah, I see a lot of it I mean, I'm seeing more and more as I get out there, which is why I'm kind of sticking younger I like I'm dating between 27 and 33. I mean, I'm kind of sticking in there. Now. I dated a 23 year old Uh, and that was that was purely for the sex Yeah, but I mean it was good sex don't get me wrong, but it's just like yeah I mean, it's like, you know, she wasn't bringing anything to the table in terms of anything else because I obviously couldn't really talk to her But I mean, we had enough to say Together in the bedroom. So that's all that matters. And so it was like, uh, But no, I mean, that's kind of why I'm sticking the 27 to 33 because at least, you know It's not it. They're epiphany phase, but I'm also looking at women who maybe don't want to have kids Um, and so, you know, it's is it picky. Yeah But I can afford to be picky because I I'm not worried about I have no, uh, I have no plans I enjoy my life the way it is and if something happens great if it doesn't that's that's just fine, too Yeah, on the single mom issue I've dated sort of well, I've dated any of them technically but I You know dated several of them in Orlando. It was a lot and I find that you know, probably 70 80 percent of them pretty messed up But there's still a good chunk left over that are not they're not complete shit shows that Have a decent personality or hot put together their life isn't a total train wreck And it really I've the more I the more time goes by the more I see there's some and date there's some and fuck There's some and I do realize that there's like a chunk that's you know, not bad And then there's a big chunk that's like not you want to stay away from it These are girls hit me these are girls are single moms that have like, you know, three-year-old kid They're trying to find they're hitting me up and I don't get too open, but they're looking for you know illicit stuff You know for lack of better term and I'm like get the fuck out of here Like give a fucking kid like why are you doing this? Why are you into music festivals doing this shit? Yeah, and uh, yeah, it's that's a whole single mother's a whole fucking issue itself But I can imagine something that you've dealt with or you've interacted with he has a single father And then that's pretty that's pretty minor a single parent and I think it's like 80% Over 80% for mothers It is pretty rare like you're doing. Yeah, it is and My my divorce was very interesting in the fact that uh, we didn't hire lawyers It's one thing I have I do a lot of divorce advice for these guys because a lot of these guys are going through pretty rough stuff Um, and they don't know where to turn so I'm here to kind of help them and guide them through their divorces and what they need to do and so my divorce was a little bit interesting just because Um, as the as the main breadwinner of the family, uh, essentially I was going to take 50 of the the I wasn't going to settle for anything less than 50 custody Um, and so and she knew that so we ended up getting a mediator And we didn't even get lawyers. We basically sat down for four mediation sessions at about a thousand dollars all in And had it had it hammered out and it was great because that's why I say there's a lot There are women out there who are sensible and a lot of these women who are sensible or the single mothers especially are The ones out there who are doing it alone and are not making excuses for doing it alone Um, my older sister is a is a fantastic single mom. She's raised five kids Um, every single one of them is is, you know, put together really well and she's done a great job But she's not made excuses. She just said, you know what? My the five I made mistakes with the the fathers their dirt bags So I'm just going to raise the kids and I'm not going to make an excuse and I'm just going to power through it And you know, those are the kind of people those are the kind of moms. I like those are those are the kind Yeah, and you find some I hooked up with a new one recently like two weeks ago and uh A lot better than what I've seen the other ones, you know a lot of a lot of the the A lot of the structural stuff will look look the same to me It was funny because she lived in the house the same the same exact blueprint house as another single mom in here that that swooped in on a friend of mine is ruining his life And so that was a very negative example, but this girl had a very similar setup But everything was put together everything that's clean this girl chick was like respect well You know respectful submissive like it was it was good And you know impasse the bullshit detector formula, which I'm even at three and a half years out from divorcing a hooker I'm still like that I'd say I'm hyper vigilant with a lot of this stuff And sometimes to a fault, you know, it's too far too much. I'm you know to paranoid at this point But that's getting better over time Texan in your work with what you do at your and through your website and guys hit you up guys you talk to What are some of the things you've seen that help them post divorce get back into dating? Especially after you know marriage and divorce or you know kids Yeah, I think a lot The ones of course that are hitting me up are talking a lot about You know dns stuff because that's kind of what I tend to talk a lot about And a lot of them are really interested as to how to cultivate that in a woman How do they find a submissive woman is that and the other and I think that's that's The biggest key is what to just Give us some ideas on on how to how to lead, you know, and even and I'm not again I'm not a big dating guy because I Still dating the woman I've been dating for 30 years, right? So I can't really give advice on that But I could I can I can go back to some of the hell some of the pickup stuff that you guys have talked about for years You know bouncing, you know taking charge and going from one bar to the next and bouncing over here And having a plan and doing this stuff and at the end of the day, that's a very dominant role Right. I mean if you look at if you've read any pickup already stuff It's real dominated stuff. And I think the other thing we were talking about earlier It's it's getting past that mindset that Um, a nice guy wouldn't ever have rough sex or you know, you you got to realize you got to feel Of course, you don't want to Safe saying consensual you want to make sure that you're you're dealing with a woman that actually Enjoys this kind of thing, right? You can kind of do the hair pull thing and a little bit of hair Pull and figure out if she's into it or not and then pull a lot of hair, right? Yeah, but but I'm just saying I mean it's it's There's so many women out there that that don't have a man that that can Hit their hit, you know rock their world where they want it to rock I can interject a quick tip based very specifically of what you just said I figured this out about Not a year ago exactly. I'm at this chicken and club who had the longest hair of any girl I've ever fucking my life It was like a tomb raider thing down to like her knees. It was it was amazing. It was super hot It was super hot And it was like it was like a braided kind of pony just like braided ponytail too So it caught my attention immediately. I ended up it was it was the most amazing sex in my life to be honest Six hours like non-stop fucking But what I did with her for the first time ever and I've done it consistently since Her hair was so long that I was kind of you know, I was probably I was like two drinks in but for me That's a lot. I don't I'm not used to drinking so I started drinking at 27 a couple years ago I'm still pretty new to it Anyway, I grabbed her hair because it's long as fucking ponytail and I kind of just organically It is wrapped around her neck in the club, you know just having met her I mean at that point we were about to make out so it was like it was contextual It made sense But pushing the boundaries obviously pushing the border and she was of course down with it and First of all, she fucking loved it. I mean, this is something I had not done before So I didn't know what exactly to expect especially not in public This was like in a fucking bar, right? And what I also noticed of course too is the other girls all around me were just absolutely getting wet watching this You could see them like turning their heads like holy shit Uh with the point of this though is that it was a really good test for how she ended up acting the whole the rest of that night And this is something I'll do Pretty much in every date now as soon as I can as soon as I get a make out I'm about to get a make out If the girl's long enough hair most of them do I'll do something similar to this to see how they respond And if they don't turn it into it, I mean, it'll be back off, of course But 90 percent of the time they are into it and it's so it's such a goofy little thing But you don't need obviously there's no rope. You're in public. There's no belt There's no you're not choking or your hands or anything like that, right? You're just grabbing her hair and you're gently just bringing it around and seeing what happens And for me, it's like a really good a little there's probably a pickup, you know term for it, but it's a basically a It's an escalation test for what's going to happen later tonight and I'm pinging for that And if she's not into it, I might even just back out. I might just like roll off and say, all right You know, she's not it's not going to be super amazing sex This might not go anywhere and I my time is going to be better spent the next 90 minutes of my life in this bar Finding a chick who is into this kind of behavior And there and there's so many of them that are into this behavior and of course Come on. We laughed about this last October 50 shades of gray was the number one selling Paperback book of all times of all time, right? There's a reason why I mean and that was the funny joke I mean my wife and I weren't doing good and actually downloaded that onto my ipad and I'm reading it in bed one night She walks by she what are you reading? I'm like, I'm reading 50 shades of gray I can't believe you're reading that trash, you know, and I'm like, well I'm thinking pretty much going to figure out what all these women are trying to you know Millions of women are buying this book and reading it for for some reason. I want to know why right right and I just That's what I tell guys that they're newly divorced Like you were saying Tim take your time Relax you got a number of years to get this down Figure out where you screwed up the first time don't do that again Right and then try to try to maybe change your tactics change things that you know figure out who you are first and then You know find something different to do don't just keep doing the same stick of shit. You've been doing for all these years I was just say a post divorce one thing I found is I had an ex-fuck buddy who lived in or it still lived in Orlando And I hadn't talked to her and like you know fucking The last time I talked to her is when I got engaged in which case she hit me up Immediately I'd go all these girls hit me up from college right on the facebook But I so I hadn't talked to her at that point like I don't know three four years They're even longer really any kind of meaningful conversation So I ended up meeting up with her and you know she ended up Too long the story but anyway meeting up with her for wine was a really good experience And that could have gone bad had she wanted to take advantage of me. I was in a very vulnerable emotional state Reeling from you know losing this relationship and this bizarre set of events that happened in my life But it was ultimately it was a very good experience And I would say that any guy who was recently divorced if you have old fuck buddies ex-lovers For a long time ago, you know probably through older especially But if they're around they're single it's worth At some point after your divorce looking into that get just mean up for wine or a drink or whatever the fuck And that that for me that went really well. And that's actually very that was the best moves I made It was um, it was very positive interactions very genuine for the most part And uh, it was good to see that It was good to be it was good at that point for me anyway given my specific experience It was good to feel that you know a very natural desire and attraction And I didn't feel like she wanted to kill me or stab me or fucking It was real and I was like, uh, this girl's hot. See this girl's beautiful. Yeah, and it worked out really well But I was I didn't want to thought of that. Um, you know, it was kind of it was kind of random that it happened It wasn't on purpose but how'd I know and I would have done it even sooner Well, and that's something I'm finding is a lot of these girls like, uh, you know divorced three years ago april 1st uh, and I There were girls at that time that I was interested in and they were getting Uh, you know, they were getting married and they were in long-term relationships And so I kind of missed out on it and so I just kind of hung back and let it kind of simmer and just focused on myself For a while when now all of a sudden, you know within the last eight months I start seeing women start, you know hitting me up and going and I write a lot about that on my twitter timeline I say, hey, you know this girl is, you know, she's Starting to hit me up because they start to see that I've raised my value They start to see that all of a sudden I'm not I don't really give a shit anymore and all of a sudden It's just like, oh, well, he just kind of popped up out of nowhere and I'm like, well, I've always been here And so I've just been grinding Um, and so I've been noticing that absolutely been noticing that and to go you know to go back to the the point about You know sex when you're married. It's like women have fantasies They have a lot of fantasies, but it seems like when they are talking with their husband slash boyfriends about these fantasies And they don't even want to talk about it sometimes But they are literally just embarrassed because what will happen is is they'll They'll they'll spill that fantasy to their boyfriend or husband and he'll laugh it off or he'll laugh at it Like and I mean they have some of these really I mean, I mean very deep and very sensual fantasies and Their husbands and and boyfriends will just laugh it off. So it takes away that that edge and it's just like well He doesn't care Every one of these fantasies is they want to feel like they are the object of They want to be ravaged. They want to be they want to be that man's ideal Whatever, even if it's it for that night type of thing It's why but they don't want you watching porn right when you're married because all of a sudden, you know You're giving all your sexual energy or all your desires going to some other some random woman over the internet You know, if guys can just figure out if you can just I always tell people you're going to get a chance to make love to her or fuck her or both Um, do it like it's the last time you're ever going to do it on earth, right? I mean go into it with every bit of energy you got and make make her walk out bow leg and and not able to walk and And just and literally like She is that you just ravaged her and left her a puddle of goo, you know And and I think that when you start to look at it like that It'll change the dead bedroom. Like even if you get mercy sex, right? You're gonna get mercy sex What are you gonna just do? Bam bam when you're over now, man go into do something different, right? She's still there Right, she's starfished for you right ever, but who knows maybe do something a little different this time I can say some of the biggest moves for me in terms of improving like my sex life Is being more impulsive and is doing what I want Keep but like you're saying keep it sane, you know safe and all these things Sane safe illegal. I think is what you're saying, right? That was same and consensual with how many times the guys out there go. Oh, I gotta make sure she gets off I gotta make sure she orgasms. Who cares When you get that attitude, I don't care. I'm gonna get mine. I hope you get yours right and you just I'm getting gravity pound away and have a good time right right and in the in the process of that She will lose all of her cares and abandon, but you get she gets in that middle frame where she's not worried about stuff And she's she's in another world and the other trick is to talk man You gotta use your voice You gotta tell her what you're doing and how she's looking to you and you just get in get in her head man I'll tell you this stuff Get in there. I was on the first date last week just melting this girl man Uh, but specifically by getting in her ear getting in, you know This into whispering and shit and just I could feel her fucking is melting But yeah, it's it's getting in her head. It's not even the specifics of whispering and these other things Those are part of it. It's part of the pathway But it's getting in and fucking their mind And after 30 years of marriage, trust me. That's the only way you're gonna. This is gonna work You've got to get in her head man. You got you got to play games. I mean good stuff, you know, not Fuck you games Now it really it comes down to me for me It's it's been at least from my life experience my personality It's been being more animalistic more impulsive more instinctual and responding But even I was thinking to you just mentioned I thought a lot about dumb stuff especially since you got involved with the convention And it's of interest to me. I'm still not anywhere near where you're at tax But it's of interest to me ongoing and even with the female orgasm I'm been thinking that really to them that's just like a component of submission Especially if you're fucking them so hard that you're basically pulling it out of them and they lose control And then that's like an example like a demonstration of it I think I really think it's more important to them to feel that than just the The excitement of just you know for them busting an egg. I guess you'd call it. Yeah That's nice. I like that. That's good. That's good No, I had one woman who was so independent who was so She just she had a mind block about having orgasms. She just wouldn't do it because it did make her feel Weak it made her feel very, you know, you know, very vulnerable and you know, they they Especially ones who are independent who have been single moms for a long time or whatever They don't want to give up on that because they don't if they do that means that they're trusting you and they may not want to They may not want to do that so a lot of times till you find if a single mom came out of the marriage They will have you know, they will been like a blue pill kind of beta relationship with the sky And they were not getting there, you know masturbating or cheating all the time And sometimes they're not just they're not just rampant cheaters. Sometimes they just jerk off and jerk themselves off for years And they're like dying inside because it's not being dominated So they've lost I hear you're saying that they lose the ability to submit and to be submissive And they get over focused on themselves and they don't they don't have a man to please for years And so they lose that side of them kind of dies off They have to they have to rebuild that and that takes time for them too The same way guys to rebuild themselves into an alpha like you're doing so Yeah, it's it's very uh, it's a very difficult situation, especially if you're You know, if you've gone Years without it and so it's going to it's not going to be something that's quick And that's what most guys like you said earlier want they want it quick Uh, they want it easy. They want it painless and it's none of those and it's still it's three years And i'm still working and and every day and doing better and trying to continue to improve myself And I will never be done. I'll be done when i'm dead and that's about it Sounds good to me man. Fuck yeah, that's that's a lifelong journey. I mean just it's That's that's the secret you can't you can't quit. I mean you just can't stop so And what's one of the more unusual things you've given us advice to someone hitting you up on dms and stuff like that for post post divorce dating uh You will and I don't know if you guys have ever got this but uh, man scaping Okay, man scaping. All right. I was not picking this I have gotten dms from guys about Manscaping and it was like they didn't I mean there was one guy that came up to me and dm and said what Shots too or what? Yeah, right because what what is manscaping and I said, okay, hold on a second So I stopped everything. I went into another room and I started typing to him and I was like Okay, if you don't know what manscaping is we're going to have a chat about this because he was married Uh two decades and never Manscaped this is another thing that we talk about, you know, you've got to be on your game with your And you can only imagine. I mean you can only I can't I can't even imagine. I imagine he needed a machete and a flashlight To grab that stuff out. So But no, I mean manscaping that was that that's the big thing, you know, it's like showering every day or You know basic hygiene Brush your teeth twice a day at least Um, you know, uh when you're going out on on a date bring some gum, uh, you know, but these guys they they just cannot I mean, it's they have devolved so much into their beta Cocoons almost that their their wife was mothering them. They just did not take responsibility for anything and it's like Even if I'm not having regular sex, I'm still manscaping even if I'm not, you know, it's just part of my regiment and it's like You know, I just it did but just blew my mind and I was and I talked to the guys and you just have to humor them because You know, these guys are They just woke up from a coma. They don't know what the hell's going on and it's plenty of the apes all over again So we're just you know, we got to show them what's going on and show them how to do things and Uh, that was probably the most uh, that's I've gotten probably three or four different dms on that guys who did not know What manscaping was or needed to know what to do Out of all the things I've ever done in the convention and the I don't even know thousands and thousands of emails and shit I have yet to get an email about manscaping You're in a different component of I did not expect this so that was Yeah, it was it just threw me for a loop because I just did not I just assumed and you know I mean there there was a time that I I knew about it my whole life and I did it and it was just like It was just natural to me But I took more care about it when I was in marriage You don't you know don't do it as much and especially if you're beta you don't do it as much Uh, and so now I'm just like I'm proving myself so I've got to take care of that stuff and it's like These guys just don't think about it and it's you just kind of roll your eyes and go. Okay. Well, we'll get you We'll get you we'll get you on the right path Yeah, I've heard this in other domains too. They had some of the basics of these things It's so important and especially in the west, you know, these kind of like this beta and like blue kill crap You just lose sight of all that stuff So hunters got this book in a program called 31 days to masculinity and uh, I'll give you a spoiler One of the days is manscaping. Yeah I mean seriously because most guys don't have a clue right and you don't really think about it But but most don't and again, there's really no no one size fits all to fix all your problems but I will say um There's that 31 days to masculinity program will go a long way Towards spending the next 31 days trying to fix your shit And whether you're married whether you're single whether you're divorced whether you're in dead bedroom or whatever I I couldn't more highly recommend that book We we actually did that program on the fly back in 2017 in march And uh, just some some of us that knew hunter on twitter and next thing you know He was winging it half the time right, you know But the next thing you know, we got through 31 days and it was probably 15 or 20 guys It did and it was pretty freaking cool Next thing, you know, we drew it up into a book and since then we've been doing fraternity of excellence and been doing a couple You know once a year type of thing and I've seen this change guys live So I'm just gonna give a plug I since I don't know who this hunter guy is since he's not here But um, yeah, but I'm gonna give a plug to his his book and his program because that's a pretty good deal I am doing the believe it or not and for everybody watching I am doing the 31 days to masculinity on october 2nd So and the fraternity of excellence. I've already got quite a few guys who are going to be doing it with me It's my first time doing it. So I told them to be gentle, but I'm looking forward to it I am actually going to be doing it. I can't recommend that book enough. So Nice. Well, then quick commercial break boys This show is actually partly sponsored by a fraternity of excellence You can actually check the description of this video for a link to join foe In doing so you support the red man group and you can also use check the description But there should be a coupon code to get 10 off foe and it's code. I think it's rmg. So great group So check out that link and you support the show Same thing if you're watching this later on 21 studios. It's also sponsored the show for the channel So fuck yeah, I'm gonna give a plug. Let me give a plug man. We got 21 convention coming up in october And until october 1st, it's a bogey. It's buy one get one bring a friend man You guys both get in half price and I tell you what lives have been changed. I've been to two of these things now I'm excited. I can't wait to get back out again and I'm plugging it because I just absolutely love it It's four four or five days to get together and uh, you know, we we swap stories Out by the pool in the hallways smoking a pipe wherever, you know, and the the real work sometimes is done after hours It's done in the hallways and the lounges and stuff I'm telling you you guys can still get there get there however you can Fuck yeah, and text you're 100 right tickets are bring a friend free all tickets bought before october 1st 2019 and on top of that they are 500 bucks off until october 1st The sale with all tickets to a 21 con events always The price increases over time every few weeks or few months price goes up So say 500 bucks and bring a friend free before october 1st Also the tickets to the uh 2020 patreon convention the 21 convention patreon edition those are going to go on Well, they're not early bird next week, but they're going to be a pre order pre order for tickets going on sale next week to the public So if you want to sign up for next year the second edition ever of the 21 convention patreon edition for fathers That'll be going on spring 2020. We'll put out the dates We might put out a few of the speakers in the pre order tickets And those will be a big deal coming out next week. Stay tuned our first event Of that was earlier this year. That was may 2nd to the 5th may 3rd of the 5th It was 3rd of the 5th 2019 It was big it was about 100 probably showed up. It was fucking awesome I was there at texas there ellie hall's hunter A hunter drew as a keynote, uh, you know chief patriarch, of course It was a big deal You know, so really cool about patriarchs is the first time we've ever done these uh workshops That's right. You just kind of get down behind closed doors. No cameras You know, no filming none of that kind of stuff and I sat in on a couple of them and they were outstanding Yeah, you know Someone just asked how old you have to be to attend. I'm assuming he means to attend Do you have to be 18 to attend? Otherwise you need to come with a parent to guardian your dad basically some guys do I know uh father brought his like 13 14 year old founder patriarch But uh, so if you're younger you can go you need a father to go with you though But yeah, and yeah, the workshops are fucking awesome techs. I agree We did those in poland too. So they were new at patriarch for the first time We did more workshops behind the scenes and those are the best part of the convention now I think that's what I'm hearing from the attendees anyway The speeches are obviously, you know amazing on youtube and all that stuff later You know months years down the road, but the workshops are really cool. There's no recording and all that And looks like a patriarch in poland. They got really really personal and really intimate I'm just savage as fuck like I sat in on the I sat in all of them for about five ten minutes each But jack donovan I got to hear his for about a good 15 It was a savage as fuck you could hear I could hear his tone of voice and what he was saying And I knew he was speaking in a way and in terms that he hasn't used on instagram and in public and stuff Even speaking on stage. It's different because when the cameras are off, you know, there's no censorship You don't got to worry about shit. You're not going to get you know, 20 years from now. You're not going to get tacked for what you said Yeah, the workshops are fucking amazing and they're included with the tickets And a lot of the speakers volunteer to do them. We set them up. Everyone has a good time and they're pretty badass stuff So and we're gonna have them, of course, too You know the final event of the year here and our land are coming up October 24 to 27 get your tickets now to the 21 convention Final the decade Okay Well boys any final thoughts on the shut topics today always you can close up here in a bit So dead bedrooms long-term relationship. It's a rousal attraction dom sub red pill It's a whole uh, a basket of ideas. I get back to the one thing on on dead bedroom. You know, is it worth fixing? And a lot of times it is if you want to put in the work, so Make that decision first and then get you get your ass to work. Okay It didn't take you it took a long time to get to where you're at, right? It's not going to happen overnight. It's like tim was saying, you know Stuff takes a while, but uh, it's worth it. So and remember you got this Absolutely, you got this I actually uh, I banged this really hot single mom once because it was super it was super dicey as I kind of do this Can I do this it was a self-worth thing, right? Smoking trick and I read texas site like at the last minute going out the door And it was like I just remember reading it was like remember you got this and I was like I do fucking got this Absolutely It was amazing, dude. Totally dumb. So sure you have duck texas dom.com helping guys get laid one one one spank at a time Here we go. Hey jim bagui. Uh, I remember this guy. Yeah jim a g yeah Appreciate the uh, you know the shout out man, you know showing your experience like that picked on No, I will say uh that the one thing that I've learned more than anything else in this three years and where I've come is it's it's all on you guys. Um, it's all on yourself. Look at that person in the mirror Um and find out What you want to do? Um, the bottom line in all of this is finding your purpose finding your convictions And living your life the way that you want to live it No one's going to tell you how to live your life No one should be telling you how to live your life and the stronger Convictions the stronger that you actually pursue your life's goals uh, the more You're not going to care about you know the the dead bedroom thing won't happen because guess what You're going to have a woman who's going to be sharing your purpose sharing your goals and uh Supporting you and I can't tell you how many of our patriarchs, especially in fraternity of excellence are Demonstrating that every day and you know, I can't recommend an organization enough Uh, Hunter's done a fantastic job and one thing, uh, you know just look in the mirror guys and you have to tell yourself Are you ready to work? Are you ready to get better and are you ready to make a uh, you know make a change? That's what I would do Fuck yeah, I gotta I gotta say just hearing you say this the patriarchs and you know the foe and stuff 2019 turned out to be the year that patriarchy and patriarchs came back into the uh into the cool vocabulary at least at least in the atmosphere And uh, I did not think about that you know late 2018 that was not on my mind a little bit of the very end december obviously, but Yeah, it's just funny that turned out end of the decade and now patriarchy is uh beginning to make it step back into culture Yeah, we're hated. We are hated. They are Yeah, I love it. My is over. Hey, hey, man Good, there's there's a war on us There's a war on us and and once again, it's the those the who are the guys that are going to stand You know shoulder to shoulder You know with our convictions held strong and we're just standing there and we are you know We're going to just face whatever comes at us and we're going to you know pursue what we think is the most important thing and We're not going to apologize for it. That is something that I refuse to do. I'm a strong male I'm a strong single dad And I refuse to uh buckle and I'm not going to keep I'm not ever going to do that So that's just and bring it on. That's what I'm saying if they want it bring it This is an attitude. I can completely endorse and support. Fuck yeah Yeah, all right boys. I'm going to round out the show appreciate everyone tuning in live Taxed him. Thank you for your time hunter. We'll show him in a bit here on the phone. See how he's doing I hope he's doing well with his turn all that Everyone else see you uh every of the thursday patriarch show on red man group channel apm eastern every thursday And the regular show of course every 11 am on saturdays on the red man group And of course next week there'll be tickets coming out uh pre-order for the 2020 patriarch's convention As well as of course tickets are on sale to the 21 convention till the end of the month buy one get one free 500 bucks off Peace out text him. Thank you very much