 Welcome to Church of the Chair. We celebrate all the things we do while seated. I'm your host, E, here today with my co-host, Chad Lutsky. We are currently collaborating on a novel called Planet Caravan. We're about 30,000 words in. The stream is for educational purposes, if you wanna call it that. You can just sit down and get some motivation to do your own projects while you're watching, or you can write along with us, or you can just figure out how this wacky writing job is done. Anyway, so my plan for the day is to write. I think I left off in the middle of a scene last time because you had to go. So I'm gonna be finishing up that scene. I also need to finish reading what you wrote this last time because I haven't read the entire Mingo Sam and Shane conversation. So that's what I'm doing today. I'll finish up reading and then I'll take my break and then I'll come back and I'll just count some stuff out. This is probably gonna be at least a 3,000 word day if you're gonna be writing too, if not, probably 15 to two. I'm going to be, I'm jumping right into revising because I just ended the chapter with the, where he's gonna leave now and go home. Yeah, I got you. And then you wrote that, so. Yup, yup. Hello, Hailey. Probably more of a revision stay for me. So the word count might not be. Well, I know I'm gonna be writing a couple things. They jump into. See where we're at here. Oh yeah, word for workers, Rousties or Roustabout. I could remember what you said. Yeah, they're called all different kinds of things and some carnivals even have their own nicknames for them but historically they're called Roustabouts, Rousties or Tintment. One of those three things. Tintment is normally just for a circus but sometimes they'll use it also for, it's just a carryover. And then. I figured we'd use whatever he would, he probably wouldn't say, he wouldn't use any kind of official. Right, he would call it, Mingo would call him Roust. Also they don't talk about, customers are lugs, rubes. There's another one that starts with S and I can't, I can never remember this one. Not Rousties, Rousties. Here, let me, let me type it. So it's, the short is like this, that's Rousties and then Roustabout is the full word. It's kind of like difference between, you know, roadie and road technician or whatever that kind of thing. Guitar tech and all that. Yeah, exactly. So they just call them roadies. There's Rousties, Tintment. There's also some very ugly ones that are 100% slurs in the community. So I won't even mention those but there's a bunch of, they're basically the lowest of it. Oh, you were met, dang it. See, this is where the problem would be internet. I can't tell anyone. I was just messing. Okay. It's a lovely sunny day here. I'm waiting for the washing machine to finish spinning so I can get the laundry out on the line. Well, I hope you have a good day. I hope it is productive. You're all right. It's okay. Lazy does this to me all the time but Lazy is so obscure with her jokes. Like it'll be like 12 pages ago that she will have made a joke and then comment on it again and won't reply to that comment. And Lazy is always out of context. I have no idea what the hell she's talking about. And then she's like, I was kidding me. Don't you know that by now? I have no idea what you're talking about. Like I am so confused right now because you were referencing something that I haven't, and then she'll link me to like this. Either that or she'll leave me like an article I should have read. I guess she thinks about Harry Potter or whatever. And then the joke just completely dies because she has to explain it to me. But anyways, like I'm not inside your head, Lazy. That's in no way what you did. But yeah, Lazy does that to me all the time. Like don't you know nothing, E? Like no, I'm completely empty at this head meat of mine. Anyways, I'm gonna jump in and start reading. I guess I'll, I will show my screen. Y'all can see what Chadwick has been doing. If nothing else to give you guys something to look at other than my face concentrating. Past tense again. I've changed quite a bit in this one. You really got back to it. Oh yeah. Yeah. Wait a second. Is that right? All right, he stands and while his size isn't intimidating the look he gives is. Okay, yeah. Yeah, you settled right into, because I changed some stuff up here too. Okay. But anyway, it doesn't matter. But yeah, I'm gonna do it too. I promise you, I will do it too. Yes, this is one of the first things. This is one of the first things you wrote. Yeah. It's like seeing an old friend. Okay, maybe I'm just dense here. Mm-hmm. But how does this explain where Mingo got his name? Is Mingo in pink flamingos? No. No, flamingo. Mingo, Mingo. See, I told you it was a stupid question. Might be a stupid question. I'm slow this morning. Mingo, flamingo. Okay. Yeah, I knew that even because we had this discussion before. I'm almost tempted to put that in here. Like Shane goes, wait a second. What does that have to do with, what does Mingo have to do with John Waters? Anyways. Let's get where they're going. No, because Shane ain't as dumb as you are, son. Well, now I'm worried that. Well, trust the reader, I guess. Yeah, trust the reader. Don't get it or they won't. It's there. We know it. Hello, myself, the silly goat, to be honest. I didn't know what a rousy was. So you weren't wrong to tell me. If you didn't know nothing, you'd know something. If you didn't know nothing, you'd know something. This is true, because double negatives are a thing. I don't know nothing. All right, I'm gonna change something in my upcoming chapter. Just change where he meets Mingo and take out a couple of things. Because I have him just walk in and find Mingo, supervising everything that's going on. And you got him wanting to meet him at the trailer. So I'll change that. Well, I mean, would it be easier just to have him say meet me here, there, rather than at the trailer? Do what you got to do. Let's do and be back. Be back here at 1130. How's that? OK, yeah. But yeah, I would be on the fairgrounds or by 1130. Be back at. Yeah, I think be back here is fine. It's vague enough that it should. And he basically he just walks in and finds Mingo in the middle of it. And that's pretty much how they do it. The owner will stand in the middle of everything and make sure he's visible and ready if anybody needs anything. Literally, probably the only other than the owner, operators, he's going to be the only person at the carnival not actually work. Lady at the entrance, given the stink guy. I appreciate it. All right, if you I'm I'm I'm just just giving you a heads up. There's a lot of stuff happening in the dark back here. That's I hope hopefully it reads sinister. So if it if it if there's if there's a glow, we might need to change all that. Well, you got the glow on here already, right? Oh, no, I said it was the fire. The glow that was there isn't. Yeah, orange glow from the fire, bonfire that had painted the walls earlier is gone. But I can hear my rowdy family out back. OK, I believe that's what you had in the notes that the bonfire died. I think that's the reason why I did that. Yeah, that's fine. Maybe you didn't put that in there. Anyways, I could have swore there was something about them. Huh, I guess I made that shit up in my head. I don't know. Whatever you want to do, no matter. But there is some stuff in the dark with a trap. Kissing at him, berating him. Be rating him what? An A plus. Let's see here. OK, same. Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? Check for the swore. I wrote something. Did it not save? I'm pushing this one down to a new page. That's all later later stuff. Hey, Jayrod. I think I said hello to you already. Maybe maybe not. Nifa is watching you hang laundry through the window. My mind tonight on my side. All right. Yeah, I've already been in this chair for almost an hour. So I'm going to go ahead and take a break, guys. When I get back, I'm going to jump right into writing. And then I'm just going to plug away until we stop. See you all in about 10, 15 minutes. Hey, solvents. Oh, yeah. I'm doing great, Jayrod. Thank you. OK, Haley, if you do get stuck on something, let me know. I've played that game other than Bloodborne, probably the most out of all the games I own. It has returned to us. Yes, I have. Hey, Jude. You know, that's literally the only lyrics to that song I know. You don't know the nah, nah, nah part? Those are technically lyrics, right? I have no idea what you're talking about. I fucking hate the Beatles. Nah, nah, nah, the empty. The nah. That's fucking Hey Jude. I thought that was the fucking Muppets. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Are you kidding me? I had you know. Hey Jude. Oh, OK. No, I thought that was the Muppets, dude. Maybe the Muppets covered it or something. But I swear to God, I thought it was the Muppets. I grew up having this thing against the Beatles because I thought I had to pick sides, the stones, the Beatles. And I was such a Stones guy. But as I got older, I don't like all of the Beatles stuff. But I do. I'm definitely a fan. I hate all that shit. The Beatles, the Monkeys, Beach Boys. All that shit sounds the same to me. People are like, you know. Well, what about, yeah, but OK. But some of that Beatles stuff, like you've got like, all you need is love. And then you've got like Strawberry Fields Forever. Two totally different, you know, like either. I have no idea what you're talking about. No idea. Maybe you need to treat yourself. OK. All right, what were the songs you just said, Strawberry Fields Forever, and what else? Well, I was just randomly saying all you need is love. Yeah, but if they're two completely different styles or feelings or whatever. Yeah, because then they started tripping acid and they started doing the, seriously, they started getting involved in drugs and doing the psychedelic type stuff. I watched the video on how their covers, like their album covers evolve and how they just kept getting wackier and wackier. Even the titles of the albums, like Sergeant Pepper. Pepper's Lonely Heart is called Bandia. I was about to say Sergeant Pepper's. Sergeant Pepper's Pride Parade is what I was about to say. That's how much I know about the Beatles dog. That's, I don't, you guys that old? No, I don't know what he's talking about. But yes, we are that old. We are that old. I'm 43. I'm 43. Chad's 50 or something. 53, 53, yeah. He's got a decade on me. But yeah, we old, we old out, Jim. I just don't like, it's one of those things, man, I don't even like bands that sound like those bands. Like, fucking can't stand Oasis. Yeah, I do not like Oasis. There's something about them that just, I don't know, any time I've heard their songs, like eight days a week, I love you. That song annoys the piss out of me. The same amount as like Britney Spears. Oops, I did it again. Like my brain cannot tell the difference between those two songs, even though they're completely different. And I'm just like, fuck, I don't like, anyways, but I will look up Strawberry Fields forever. And something. Yeah. Just a song called, so I've never, yeah. Yeah, it was written by, I think George Harrison wrote it. Okay. Beautiful song. I do know while my guitar gently weeps. That's another George Harrison song. I had to learn, yeah, I know. That's why I brought it up, because I had to learn how to play it in jazz. That's the only one that I can think of that I don't absolutely hate with, you know, a blit, the passion of a blazing sun. People are very confused by my music taste because it varies wildly between Chill Reggae and Raging Techno. Raging Techno. That's what Jude said, Raging Techno. So are we talking like EMD? My tastes are pretty eclectic. You know, I listen to a lot of hardcore punk, but you know what song I really like, absolutely love? What? Is that song, Call Me Maybe, by- Oh yeah. Carly Rae Jepsen. Yeah, yeah. I love that song. I just met you and this is crazy. The only reason I know that song, I hate it, I hate that too. But the only reason I know it is because TikTok is obsessed with it. They still use it to this day. I love, I'm literally, I'm not one of those people who, like I listen to everything and not mean it. I literally listen to everything. But I mean, I even listen to pop music because that's what my kids like. That's what shell likes. So that's what we play in the car. We play the modern hits. Around here, it's a Y102, I believe. And it's solvent. No, sorry, solvent started singing. And it was like solvent. No, it'll get in my head. Anyways, but I like certain country, rap, metal, death metal, thrash. I love literally every country. There's certain country I like. But as far as like what's considered pop music, anything that's even considered pop music. And it's not psychosomatic. I don't hate it because it's considered pop music. But literally every time I find myself hating a song and I look at the genre, it's pop music. So that's what I'm, that's the metric I'm judging this offer. And it, I don't know, man. I love the Rolling Stones. I don't see why they're compared to the Beatles as much as they are. Because for me, the Rolling Stones went a lot harder than the Beatles did. Like, I mean, the song's satisfaction is pretty overtly, you know, and from what I understand, I haven't listened, like I said, I don't know the majority of Beatles songs because I don't even like their voices or their style of music. And they might have songs like that, but I've just. Helter Skelter. Helter Skelter, that's pretty hardcore. The one based on Manson or is. Well, Manson's based on. Manson's based, okay, that's what I was saying. Okay, it's. That some people say that it's the first heavy metal song. Fucking really? Yeah, there's a lot of screaming in it and some heavy guitar for its time. You know, you know, a band that I cannot fucking stand, but I love one of their songs. That's you too. I hate you too, but I do love that song that they had on the Batman soundtrack. Throw Me, Hug Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, whatever the fuck it's called, because it goes, it was a really heavy song. But I've listened to a lot of you too and the cure, even though I don't like them, because I had a girlfriend that was fucking obsessed with them. And that's probably another reason why I have something against the sheet, sheet tree. Anyways. I can't, I can't be listening to, I can't be listening to Bad Mouth and the Cure, man. That's my jam. No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, it's not my thing, but I do not hate it. Like I hate the Beatles. But all she listened to was you two and the cure. And in fact, I bought her her first cassette and it was a cure album. So, you know, and I wouldn't buy, I wouldn't buy my worst enemy of Beatles album. So if that helps, I have nothing against them. It's just not my kind of thing. I do however, like Morrissey, so. That's weird. Yeah, it is weird. It's very weird. Don't get me wrong. It's just, it feels like Morrissey goes a little bit harder. And I don't know how else to explain it other than that. Harder. Yeah. The opposite. Well. It'd be harder in the grown man crying kind of way, but. Yeah. Yeah, upset. I don't know. It's something about the cure that doesn't do it for me that Morrissey does. And all I mean by goes harder is like, I can get into those songs. Not that it's heavier. It's just that I can get into those songs. They hit different for me. I'm trying to use the new lingo, you know? Because Cross called us old. So I'm trying to act like one of the hip kids. Hello, fellow kids. But anyways. Yeah, their fire is what you're saying. They're fire. They are litty. They are absolute. Oh my God. This went down the tubes quickly. But anyways, yeah. Morrissey, I've gotten along with much better. I far prefer dancing by himself over the misfits. Yeah, I know. I know. I haven't said any of these things because I know your feelings. I understand this. I have a deep, deep love for the misfits. I understand. I understand. But like, and when it comes to punk, I like, I guess radio punk, like Rancid. Oh gosh. Yeah, Rancid, Green Day. I guess pop punk, which is funny because I don't like pop. Yeah. But Rancid, I don't like just incoherent screaming and thrashing guitars. And an unproduced vibe. I'm all about clean studio quality. So I like the overly produced stuff. Hate all of them. Yeah, that leaves the misfits out of the equation. 100%. Exactly what I'm talking about. Exactly what I'm talking about. And I understand it. But it's the songwriting that, the songs are so catchy, which is weird because when you finally read the lyrics, it's like, I can't believe I'm singing along with this horrible song. My favorite version of that is Avenged Sevenfold. Oh, what is the name of the song? It's the one about Necrophilia. It's the one about Necrophilia. And I love that song with the passion. I will sing it with every core of, with my whole chest, I will sing that song. And it is the most disturbing shit. It's the same with I Come Blood From My Erection by Cannibal Quartz. I will sing that with all of my parts. Not quite as subtle. No, it's not quite as subtle at all. But I will sing that with my whole chest. I absolutely love those two songs and I don't care who's around. I will 100% Elvis Cooper has a lot of songs like that too, where it's like, you pay attention to lyrics and you're like, wow, like Cold Ethel, Necrophilia. Did I hear karaoke stream? No. He loves to sing about Necrophilia confirmed, absolutely 100%, totally confirmed. I love singing about it. Don't like reading about it or thinking about it, but I love singing about it. The way I'm not doing a karaoke stream, y'all can forget that. You wanna karaoke stream, $100 super chat right now. And I will do one after this. I'm not gonna interrupt our writing with karaoke, but 100%. I was telling people the other day, if they ever want me to play family again on the TCM, $50 super chat. That's the only way you're gonna get me to do it. It's the only way you're gonna have to pony up the money. It's the only way, I ain't even trying to make that money like that. I'm just saying, that's the only way that's... You're hearing it here first, he's a hired killer. Yes, exactly. I am a hired killer. I will merc megabytes for $50. I will do that. Anyways, I gotta get working. Y'all stop distracting me with all this wonderful conversation. Yeah, if you start me talking about music, I won't shut up. I know, I know. We're moving on. Legit, legit, you guys come up with $100. I will do a karaoke stream for you. I ain't bullshit. Your boy need money. I ain't you dancing monkey, but I will offer sometimes. Would like to, but not today. Call it your bluff. Bye. I got shit to do. Dude, is this too modeling for this dude's voice? I think I've lost it. My anxiety grows with the purpling horizon. Yeah, I've had to tone it back too in some areas. But it's funny because I wanna get all deep with this, but I'm gonna have to go for like, catch them deep, which is very fucking simplistic shit. And I am just not in that mode right now. So you're probably gonna have to do some heavy editing, but I'm gonna try my best to try and, yeah, I'm gonna try my best with the, hey, somebody help me out. What are those things called? Those, those straps with the ratchet that hold them down, they're called something. Anybody know? Do you like strap a fridge to your car and stuff with? Yeah, exactly. Hang on, they're called something. What is a ratchet strap? So it is just a ratchet strap. Yeah, it might be. Okay, it's just a, yeah, it's just called ratchet strap. Okay, whatever. Good lord. Mailman just came. I got my nine books. Nice. Man, I wish my fucking mail person came this damn early. We don't get our mail until, of course, we're out in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, but our mail doesn't come until like six, seven o'clock at night. That's when my, it's usually when my like Amazon stuff, this is a book outlet through USPS. So get it usually in the morning. You just called them straps? I bet, bro, I bet. Let me get my strap. Just a sentence that you had written down here. Pretty cool. Which one? It's one where he's calling everything motherfuckers and bitches. Yeah, I love that. I love that one. I don't get attached to much, but I do like that one. I guess there's a difference between getting attached to something and liking it. Like, you know, I like stuff I write all the time, but then I ended up getting rid of it because of this little bit. Man, stop doing that. Fives are so hot out here. It's only like seven to five, but it's muggy as hell. It's swampy today. All right, Cross, if you're still here, or if anybody's here, we're starting Starfield tonight. So at five o'clock, Starfield, it's the new, oh, I don't know that you were here for it. So I got an Xbox One, not Xbox One, an Xbox Series X. We're probably gonna end up going bankrupt because I just don't have much income coming in right now. So I went ahead and took the credit card and I went down and got one. So I got that and I got a charging thing. And anyways, but I showed it off last night on the stream because I'm gonna be pushing the gaming content hard and I'm gonna be starting a Twitch channel and I can't make money without spending money. Anyways, so I went out and got that. And Starfield is you can play it a week early if you pre-order it, the Deluxe Edition. So I went ahead and got that also, but it's like the biggest game, one of the biggest games of the year. And I didn't wanna just get played on Game Pass because it's one of those games that I'm probably going to be playing for hundreds of hours. Anyways, so my game plan is to be playing it early. Also Lies of P, I went ahead and pre-ordered that also with a gift card, Zoop sent me. Haven't heard of that one either. It's like a Dark Souls, Bloodborne-ish kind of game, but it's very highly anticipated. And if you pre-order it, you get to play it three days before everyone else. So I got those two. Starfield was available starting the last night, but the whole point of this is to play the most popular games right now. Kind of like, when I started my channel, I did all the popular books, that kind of thing, to try and build an audience by playing what everybody's interested in right now. Yeah, I spent about $750 in total for all of this stuff, just to, I'm shooting my last shot, I guess, trying to make this channel or a Twitch channel work. So that's what I'm doing. But it's a space game that you can fly to different planets. It's not seamless. Like flying out of the atmosphere is a cutscene, but you can travel around to unlimited planets. They're all randomly generated, but there's also story. So it's like No Man's Sky, if you're familiar with that one, with an actual story and an actual point to it, whereas No Man's Sky is literally just about flying around and building up your bases and whatnot. There is no story. But it's by the creators of Fallout and Skyrim. So I am very, very interested in this. And on top of that, my wife is super intrigued by it. And she was gonna get it for her Steam Deck, but her Steam Deck won't play it. So my plan is to use it to jumpstart the gaming channel and then let her play it on her off days, well not her off days, but when I'm not streaming, let her play it. But yeah, that's what it is, that's what's going on. It should be a big, open, crazy experience and the main character isn't voiced. So I'll be able to do all my voice acting stuff. So that should be fun also. But there's numerous reasons why I'm getting it. It also just looks fucking amazing. I mean, I was blown away by some of the graphics, so. I just started playing like four days ago, I just started playing Watch Dogs 2, have you ever played that? My, that is right now, that is my wife's and my youngest Chris's favorite game. They absolutely love that game. Chris does not play, Chris plays Watch Dogs 2, like I play Grand Theft Auto. I don't do the missions. I just get in, cause utter chaos and see how long I can survive. But Shell has gone through and beaten the entire game and is currently working on the DLC. But Chris is, Chris loves that game just to get in there and just do the craziest, wildest stuff. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I'm a huge fan of anything to do with stealth. So there's a lot of that in this. There's a lot of that fallout. You know what do you like Texas Chainsaw? That one's 100% about stealth. Yeah, I like, it even gives me like a, I can't be seen, I gotta do something, but I gotta do it, you know, carefully like that game, Thief or Sticks. Freaky love stealth stuff. Sticks, I bought it for my son, I ended up playing it. He didn't care too much for it, but I ended up playing it. And that character is fucking great, man. I love that game. It is super cool. I love the way, I love the way he controls the little goblin dude or whatever he is or whatever. It's a good game. It's so much fun. It's only rated, I think. Oh yeah, absolutely. I agree with you completely. It is a super fun game. So did you ever play anything like Splinter Cell or Cycling Filter? Oh yeah, dude, yeah. Yeah, that's a Shell's favorite. Those are like my, that Metal Gear Solid, I think where I realized, like Cycling Filter Metal Gear Solid is probably where I realized I liked the, and then the original Thief, where I liked that stealthy kind of, I just like the intensity that it gives me that like where I feel like I need to be whispering while I'm playing and stuff. And not to say Watch Dogs is all that, it's just that there are enough elements in there. That's why when I'm playing a game like Battlefield or Fortnite or something, I'm usually the sniper because I like to be off, people don't know where I'm at, and picking off people. Yeah, we are literally exact opposites in most things, like music choices. I am a tank in everything I play. I want to be up in people's faces, usually it's a shotgun or a sword or something. I don't even use magic in RPGs because I want to be in there hitting something. And games like Doom, Far Cry, of course the Resident Evil series, I like being up close and personal. I don't mind sniping missions, but I would much rather be down there in the nitty-gritty fighting. Well, I've played and beaten all the Splinter Cells, but the only reason I did is because Shell likes to watch me play them. I don't actually like the games. The first stealth game I've ever played that I've truly fallen in love with is literally TCM. And it's because I have no patience. I have no patience whatsoever. I just want to go, go, go. In fact, most of my deaths in TCM is because I lose patience. And that's also why I get so happy when I win. And it's a valid win. And I'm not just writing the coattails of someone else who knows what they're doing, is because it all comes down to that patience that I don't normally have. So it's definitely helping me with that. But yeah, I'll be playing Starfield tonight at five o'clock and then I'll probably be playing it most of tomorrow. I'll probably do several different streams. Yeah, Watch Dogs 2 is great. I love watching it. I love watching Chris because he'll go around and unlock all the cars and stuff like that. So he has all the cars, but he hasn't done more than like half the missions in the game. And the only reason why he's done those missions is so that he can unlock certain things. It has not, he doesn't care a damn thing about the story. But he's also hit another level of maturity we've realized because he's playing Dragon's Dogma, no, no, no. Dragon Age Origins. And he usually skips cut scenes and skips stories. And if there's dialogue options, he'll just click whatever's already highlighted and just blow through it. But he has been sitting there and reading all of the dialogue options, thinking the ones that he wants. So it's just interesting to watch kids, man, because, you know, we didn't tell him to pay attention. You know, we didn't tell him to do anything, these things, but the more that he reads and the more audiobooks he listens to, the more we see him paying attention more when he's playing the games. So I'm super proud of him. He's awesome. Yep. I gotta run to the restroom again. See you right back. Have a good one, Jayrod. Sorry about that. I had to awaken the beast. This is when I always get stuck on. If I were to say, it's a woman's voice that responds. Should it be, it's a woman's voice who responds? Because of the subject, the voice. You're fine, Viking. And I would say that, I guess, because you're talking about the voice. Yeah, I'm talking about, yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I'm not talking about the person, I'm talking about an attribute. So I'm thinking it's that. Because if you were to say the woman who responds. Right, right, it's the voice. So yeah, okay. Yeah, Viking, you're fine, you ain't gotta apologize. I know people got lives and shit to do. You better be here for tonight's stream, though. Just kidding. And you got up, family, kids, all that stuff. You ain't gotta apologize to me for not being here. I appreciate you wanting to. I'm also trying to use more 80s talk to make sure we're in the right era as far as what we have as far as Immaculate. Totally tubular, dude. It's like, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I'm like, no, it's I feel like I'm gonna hurl. I mean, come on. Yeah. There's 80s lingo and then there's lingo that you only ever saw being represented as 80s lingo and it was never lingo, like gag me with a spoon or totally tubular. I mean, come on. Well, to be, I grew up in Southern California. So I definitely heard these things, whether it was ironically or unironically, whatever. I've heard these things out of people's mouths. And I spent, it was definitely surfer lingo and of course you heard more of it after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles than you did before because it was so over the top. And it was also just pop culture. You know, it was people like, nobody said fucking cowabunga. Are you kidding me? Until the turtles started doing it and then you heard everyone with long, sun bleached hair saying cowabunga, dude. I mean, I don't know. I think it was one of those things where it's like you had a few people saying that, but then my best friend, my roommate, he was from San Diego. And then he moved here in the late 80s. And he brought some vocabulary with him. To this day, he still talks like it has a, almost like an accent. And, but he didn't say anything that like super off the wall. He would say stuff like, I remember bail. Dude, we got a bail all the time. And I would pick up certain things like that, but nothing like that was so out there. The ones that have stuck with me is grip as a unit of measurement. Like I got a grip of weed, dude. Grub, like I'm about to grub, you know, and that means eating, of course. Cop, let me cop that. Get something to get something. Yeah, gnarly. We all know what gnarly, rad. Oh, I say that all the time. We did use totally a lot and like, like totally, you know, that kind of shit. Especially the teenage white girls that- But when you fuse a bunch of the words, like totally tubular. Or- I have heard someone scream tubular, dude. You know, that kind of shit. I've heard that unironically. But a totally tubular, I've never heard anybody say totally tubular other than like fucking Bill and Ted kind of deal. Decent is another popular one from the 80s. I used to say that, dude, that is decent. I'm calling everything shit, whether it be good, bad, or otherwise. That's one of the things that I still have. I still have people looking at me kind of sideways these days. I'm like, that shit is awesome. Why'd you call that shit? It's like- That's weird that someone would look, I mean, that's, to me, is just universal. Well, even Shell, even my wife, she's a Georgia peach. And she'd never heard anybody, according to her, because she was one of the first people to like get on to me about it. It's like, why are you calling my stuff shit? And like, it's stuff. It's like another word for stuff. Like, I don't think your stuff, I don't think your shit is shit. I think your shit is awesome. There was another one. Hang on, I'm trying to remember what it was. It used to be like you would, it was hard for me to get through a sentence without using it. Now I cannot remember what the fuck it was. Shell used to pick on me about it also. Fowl, foul. Dude, that's foul. And it was, you know, it wasn't a good thing. It was literally like, you know- It means when something looks like a chicken, right? No. But I mean, yes, yes, of course. I mean, get my Jordy going. Another word was like hassle, don't hassle it. Yeah. A new one that I like is that's pressure. I don't know why I like it, but it means it's a, you know, it's good. It's usually about food. At least that's what I've seen. It's like, dude, this steak is pressure. I actually liked that one. I don't know why, but you know, it feels right on the tongue for me. I've noticed a lot of these kids that the words that these kids are making up with it, they've got this whole new vocabulary. Yeah. I've noticed it, a lot of it, doesn't really make sense. No, like cap, no cap. That's if you're calling someone, if you're trying to say I'm not lying, like no cap or that's cap means you're lying. And I'm not entirely sure where it came from, but yeah, that's one of those things that I will eventually look up. Like busting? Busting, yeah, busting is when something is really, really good. Yeah. But the only real explanation for that one is, actually, I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about my train of thought on that one, it doesn't make any sense. So I'm not gonna say it out loud, but yeah, it's busting, busting. This means that it's delicious, it's good, it's amazing. Yeah, I tease my 18 year old all the time. He'll say something and I'm just like, that doesn't, it doesn't even make sense. I mean, we already have tons of slang, some of which have carried on for years like man and dude and all kinds of stuff that still has carried over. And it seems to make much more sense than a lot of these, just out of nowhere, there's just a ton of vocabulary now that are not even words, like busting. And it's just, I mean, I know I'm an old guy, but still. Yeah, this suddenly turned into like a old folks home. It turned into a geriatric stream with us going. What was these kids talking about? I guess I just always looked at slang as at least having some meaning. But I mean, and it is strange how you could, you know, I'll use gnarly for something good and something bad. Yeah, definitely. But, you know, and it doesn't. The thing is, like when I think of, see, what I love about language is that it's all fucking made up. There's no right or wrong way. If a large enough community of people are saying something a certain way, it's a word. You know, that's just how I feel about it. It's like people who complain about, you know, when someone says, can I ask you a question instead of ask? You know, it's just the vernacular. You know, there's nothing wrong with it. You know what they're trying to say. And in that community, that word is that thing. You know, it's not ask, it's ask. You know, it's, I don't know. It's so many times we get stuck on things. And it's like Cormac McCarthy's writing with not using the quotation marks and things like that. If you're, if it's clear what is going on, I don't see a problem with it. And one of the perfect books for that is Precious by Sapphire. The entire thing is written in broken English. She uses the wrong there, there and there. She uses the wrong two, two and two. She used all that stuff, but you know that you were in the mind of someone who doesn't have any education whatsoever. And that's just how, you know, they talk. There's another author who writes Gritty Noir. I can't remember. I think it's Devon, Devon. Anyways, he literally writes like Prince lyrics, you know, you instead of Y-O-U, B instead of B-E, just the letters. And I have, I have no problem with it. I don't think I'd like that. When you're, when you're, when you're reading his work, it fits with the, that type of writing fits with what the story, fits with the story he's telling. And especially since it's in the first person, it is really easy to get lost in that stuff. But I think it all comes down to clarity and, you know, enjoyment and all that stuff. If you're able to read and understand and enjoy something, then the rules can be broken. I am not one of those staunch people who's like, gotta be like this. It's got, but if, but if you were, if you were writing something that makes no sense whatsoever, and it's not a conscious decision to make those errors, that's what I have a problem. And it's, it's the same way it would like, like I said, Cormac McCarthy, Precious, Will Sapphire, that book. I don't have any issue with it at all. But that's, that's just me, of course. Every reader is going to be different. But I really like experimental fiction. I like fiction that puts you in a certain mindset and is consistent all the way through. So if that person is consistently making mistakes that the character would make, I have no issue with it at all. That's just my concerns. Yeah, I think that would, the youth thing would pull me out. I remember, have you ever read Midnight Rain by James Newman? I try not to talk about it because I know you said it's your favorite coming of age. It's literally the only one of his books that I hated. Oh, I, I didn't, it's not what I'm, it's not my favorite. It is one of the, no, Boys Life is probably my favorite, but it's one of my favorites. But I just didn't believe that that kid had no friends. And that kind of took me, not only did I not believe it, it just felt like he was the type of kid that would have at least like, at least like one outcast friend or something like that. And it really took away, and it made me realize that coming of age fiction relies heavily on a group of friends. It relies heavily on other people. Anyways, but yeah, a lot of people brought it up that Bay's End reminded them of Midnight Rain. And I, so I went and I read it and I was like, I don't see. In fact, one person said that I stole Newman's story or whatever, and I don't get that at all, other than like the bad cop situation and whatnot. But yeah, go ahead, what were you saying? What I was saying about that was the kid in there does a lot of stuttering and a lot of speaking of his age and the stuttering really got to me. That's why you didn't like it. Tell the truth, that's, I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm talking about Bill. An extra 300 pages of stuttering. So many people complain about that and I understand it. It's like, I can't read the Brian Lumley necroscope series because all the vampires talk with extra S's and it's the most ridiculous fucking thing. And the funny part about it is I'm doing that. I'm literally doing something I can't stand in my big project because one of the characters is a lizard man. And so every time we get to something where it has like a hard S sound or anything like that, it's a, there's an extra S in it. And I didn't want to, but I also wanted to put the reader in place. It's just that the thing with the vampires is there are whole chapters where it's all these different vampires talking to each other and they're all hissing their S's. And when everybody's talking like that, it gets under my skin. And also I like taking things that annoy me and try to make them not annoying. So we'll see if I succeed if the book ever comes out. I hope it does. I don't know at this point, dude. I'll probably just end up from here on. And this, I don't want this to get depressing, but honestly, I think I'm done with publishing other than, you know, my collabs. I'm gonna work with you. I'm gonna work with Darren. I'm gonna stop focusing on my own stuff. I just, I'm burnt out and there are no good opportunities out there. So if we do, if we make it, then we make it. If me and Darren make it, me and Darren make it. But other than that, dude, I'm not worried about it. I've had so many people flake on me in the last month that just I thought I was there many times and now it's been months since I've talked to a couple of my contacts that I literally used to talk to every single day. And one of them was supposed to be helping me get, you know, get this big project published. And yeah, I'm not getting responses anymore. So I'm finally, I'm not the type of person to hound someone. So if I message you one time and you do not reply to that, I just let it go. If he eventually replies, that's fine, but I'm not someone who's like, did you get this? Did you do this? And the funny part is Darren Kapoff is the exact opposite. He's someone who will keep touching base with someone over and over and over again. And I'm just, I'm not that person. You know, because if people want to, they will. I will always believe that. It all comes down to what their priorities are. And if you're not one of their priorities, and I'm not saying you should be, but if you're not one of their priorities, then you need to stop treating them like they're a priority. So. Yeah, I'm the same way. I can't, and sometimes I don't like that about myself that I don't pursue stuff because I know that sometimes, I know that sometimes people legitimately don't get an email or sometimes they forget and they're thankful for reminder. There's been a couple of people that normally when, if somebody asked me for a blurb, they asked me the one time, I always tell them the same thing, really busy. I'll try to get to it. I also have to love this book. Or I'm not gonna blur it. So it's kind of a way out, either way. So that way, if I don't like it, and most of the time I'm asked for blurbs, I usually don't like it because I'm kind of a snob, but I will, I don't have to go back to them and say, yeah, I had time, I read it. I didn't like it. I have done that once before. Somebody asked me and I said, no man, I didn't like your book at all. And they asked why and I told them and they were receptive, but. It's unfortunate man. But like I'm in the middle of something right now that I've been pursuing that is going to drastically help a book I have coming out in February. But this person is, lots of forgetting, lots of not getting back with me. And I've already gone way past my, like, can we make this work? Kind of, you know, as far as like returning emails. Hey, it just, you know, it's been like three months. What are we at with this? And that's usually, that's way more than what I usually do. And I don't feel comfortable. And I came right out there and I told them that too. I was like, listen, I don't normally do this, but if you say this is going to happen, I, you know, let's make this happen. I want to do this. Yeah, that's the problem I'm having right now. I've got too many promises and no follow-throughs. Yeah. And I've asked for some blurbs and was promised blurbs. And, you know, sometimes they will email me back and they'll say, hey, you know, remind me about the blurb. And it's like, oh, that's right. Your book is on my Kindle. That's why I, that's easy for me to, because I can go months without picking up my Kindle and then I could be reading it in a day for a couple months. But if it's out of sight, out of mind, I forget about it, you know, unless it's like I'm seeing it pop up everywhere and some of these books I'm not seeing, you know, pop up and so there is no reminder. And so sometimes I'm thankful for the reminder. And so I never know that this person even get my email to begin with or did they forget about the blurb or did they forget about this thing or whatever? But unlike you, I just like, I don't like to be that guy that's like, I have too much self-awareness and I don't want to be that person. I guess it's a prideful thing too. I just, yeah, I don't want to be that person. It's like, dang dude, I said I would, if I had time, you know. Most recently, and this one just completely caught me off guard, the guy Mr. Doyle that I had on the channel, we were talking about Stephen King, he's got the channel of great undertaking. I don't know if you saw that live or not. Oh yeah. But it seemed to go really, really well. And we talked afterwards for about two weeks and he thanked me. He got over a thousand subs finally and I was happy for him and all that. And then he just stopped replying to my emails. We were supposed to do another episode at the end of, is it September? Yeah, it's September. So at the end of August, we were supposed to do another episode. And I sent him, he said, let me know, because I had that doctor's appointment. He said, let me know when that doctor's appointment is gonna be and we'll schedule it around that. Here are the dates that I'm available. So I sent him back an email and I said, congratulations on getting over a thousand. I am free this day because my appointment is until the 31st. And he didn't respond, didn't respond. And then he tagged me on one of his videos. So I went over, watched it, liked it, came back and said, hey, did you get that email? No response again. So I just left it alone. I wish him all the best and I hope his channel's successful because that's why I did it. I love his content. I'll continue watching his stuff, but yeah, he just, no responses. And I know he's been active because he's putting up videos and he's replying to comments. So it's whatever. But it's just a matter of, I spent so much of my childhood waiting on people, waiting for replies, waiting to, waiting for my dad for multiple different reasons, waiting for my mom. I had friends who I loved to death that I would literally sit on my porch for hours waiting for them and they would never show up. And I didn't wanna lose them because they were the only friends I had. And it got to the point where my brain literally put that a wall up. It's like, you're not gonna let yourself get close to anybody else. And nowadays I just look at, and I think I've told you this, I look at interactions and relationships and friendships and all that stuff as like an airport terminal. There's people coming and going all the time. You might sit in the boarding area or whatever. You might sit in the waiting room and have a really deep, meaningful conversation with someone. And then you guys go get on different flights or you could get on the same flight. But eventually those things end. So I just, that's how I look at it. And I can't look at it any other way. I look at it as every single relationship is temporary. No matter how much I love that person, no matter how much I care about that person, whether it be because I know people move on or I know people die, all that stuff. So I can't let myself get too attached to anybody. The last time I did, and this said no bearing on really anything but Frank Arrington, me and him got very close before he passed away. And I knew it was coming, but I also felt mildly responsible for it because, and this is what started me on my fasting and taking care of myself and all that stuff. It was him because I was a match for him and I could have given him a kidney. And when we started the process, like the second question that the lady asked me was, are you diabetic? And I said, yeah, I'm pre-diabetic. I'm not over the line yet. And she said, I'm sorry, we can't do this. If you have anything, if your blood sugar is high whatsoever, we can't do it. I'm like, motherfucker. And that was literally the only thing keeping me from possibly saving his life. I love that man to death. He was there for me through multiple issues that it just meant the world to me. And I let myself get attached to him knowing that it was going to end soon. And that one really fucked me up. And then not two or three, I don't know, it's like two years later, I lost my mother. So it was just like one hit after another with people that, so nowadays I'm just like, I'm gonna get as close as I can without going over. Because I can't emotionally take that shit anymore. When mom died, I was out of it for almost two years. You can go back and watch those videos after February of 2020. You can go back and watch those videos and you can see the difference between the guy I used to be and the guy I am now. I'm nowhere near as bubbly or happy or any of that stuff. It just, it took, I definitely lost a piece of myself. And I wrote numerous things that I had planned to sell and all this other stuff that I'll never do anything with now because I go back and I read it. And it is the darkest, it's not dark as in graphic or disturbing or anything like that, but it is the most nihilistic shit I have ever written. And I don't wanna do that anymore. I don't mind unhappy endings, but when the entire book makes you feel like there's no purpose to life, that's an issue. And that's one of the reasons why, there was a book, everybody's still waiting on it. It's called Backyard. And it's about a man who loses his wife and he meets a little girl next door that he becomes attached to. She kind of saves him and pulls him out of everything. By being there for him, listening to him. And she's like, I think she's 11 in the story, but she also has this power to transport herself and someone else to other realities. And she turns his backyard into whatever she wants for the day. Like she'll come over and hang out and she'll turn it into like the set of a Western movie. Another one is they're up on the, at the very peak of Mount Everest. There's a bunch of different stuff in there. And the book was meant to be kind of, it's meant to be cathartic, you know, this guy moving out of this darkness, but I couldn't make myself do it. And so it ends on a note where, and I don't want to spoil it in case it comes out, but it ends on this note where it's not good. There is no hope. There is no acceptance. There is no closure. It just, it ends in a pretty bad way. And I just, when I realized that that's the way I wanted it to end, I realized where I was because the whole reason I started writing it was trying to get over my mom passive. And I was trying to work through that and I was using all my emotions for that one. And there was no light at the end of the tunnel. And I realized that even in my own life, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm not someone who contemplates, you know, offing himself or any of that stuff. I have in the past, but these days I have a family and if nothing else, they just, they need me here. It's one of those things where you just know you feel needed by the people around you. And so I'd never take that route, but I just realized that I needed to do something about my own mental health, because if not I was gonna end up going down that road because I couldn't find anything to be happy about. I had stuff to live for, but I wasn't happy about it because I wasn't happy here. And it's completely odd thing to have, you know, this person raise you and pretty much just kinda ignore you for most of your life and then come back, you know, at toward the end. And she became a good close friend of mine there at the end, because we butted heads almost my entire life. I was a hellion of a toddler, child, kid, preteen, team, then a drug addict adult, you know, I put her through all this stuff and we were never really close because she took out all of her frustrations on, well, not really all of her frustrations, but she didn't wanna be in the house because of my father and that made me feel like she didn't love me. And it had nothing to do with me. It had to do with her wanting to get away from this, you know, emotionally abusive man who lived off her for 25 years. And she left once and my dad made me call her and beg her to come back. And that haunts me to this day too, because she had finally gotten away. She was like nine states away and she was happy. And he made me call her and beg her to come back so she came back. But I wrote life after Dane for her, dedicated it to her. She sat down, she read it in one afternoon and she came out of her room, she hugged me and we sat there and talked for another several hours about everything that had happened when I was younger. Cause she remembers all those scenes, of course they're fictionalized, but she remembered all of that stuff. And she goes, I never saw it this way. I never saw that I was using, you know, my religion as a crutch to excuse all of my stuff. Everything that I was doing, that ignoring what your father was doing to you, ignoring everything that was going on and just like, okay, well God wants me to stay with this man. God, you know, that's what it is. Divorce is a sin, so on and so forth. But we finally came back together there at the end. And it felt like, you know, when she died, it felt like I didn't get enough time. You know, it's like we should have done this much earlier and that really fucked me up. On top of that, I firmly believe that had she been put on a ventilator and moved to long-term care, she would have survived. But the insurance wouldn't cover long-term care and she wanted to go. She was barely over 70 years old. She was born in 1946. And her mother lived until she was 98. And sitting there with her, that it took her an hour and 45 minutes to die once they pulled the plug. And I remember sitting there. In fact, now it's like a joke in my family about how I kept saying, I think this is it. And I wasn't trying to prepare anybody. I was trying to prepare myself, you know? I kept saying, I think this is it because she would start to rattle and the breathing would slow down and then there would be huge pauses in between and then she'd gasp again. And I'd say, I think this is it, you know? I think this is it. And it just, it did something to me being there with her as she died. It was like the hardest thing in the world to not run out of that room. And admitting that, admitting that it took me a long time to come to terms with I did not wanna be there. I did not wanna be in that room. I did not wanna see her go like that. I didn't want to experience that. And of course I felt guilty for those thoughts. And I still feel guilty for those thoughts. But nowadays, what's fucking me up is I don't remember any of the happy times. I don't remember any of the good shit. All I remember is the times that I made her cry, times I let her down. I don't remember anything else. And that's just my own stupid brain not letting me get past this. Done therapy and all that stuff. But yeah, so yeah, backyard will probably never be released. And there is a huge plot hole in it also. So I would have to go back and fix that to be able to publish it. And I don't have it in me to go back to that book. I don't even know how we got on this topic, but yeah, I guess I needed to vent. So I did. You went dark. Yeah, I did, but I don't know. I felt like I needed to get it out. So I got it out. Thanks for the heart, Solvents. I'm so sorry, E.E. I haven't been watching these writing streams but came in a few minutes. Of course you come in right there. Thank you, Ty. It's all right. I didn't mean to go that route, but when I do start talking, I rarely stop. I don't know how many words I've written. It looks like three pages, three and a half, something like that. But yeah, I can stop here. I know we got to be done by noon. Yeah, it's past that right now. It's past that. For me. Oh, I know. Yeah, I got to get my lunch. Yeah. I'm starving. Yeah, I don't, I'm pretty sure I didn't add anything, if anything, I took away. We're at 30, we're almost at 33,000. Looks like about 1,200 got written, but. Whoa, you really, sorry. You really left a grip. I think this is the least you've edited so far. Like I remember a lot of this. That's interesting. Well, there was a couple of times where I took out the most of a paragraph. I like that and no one ever correct in here because ain't none of them heard of calcium before. That's funny. Anyways, all right. So I will read what you, I'll wait until you finish the chapter just in case you change more. Once you're happy with it, I'll go back and I'll read it. But yeah, anything else you would like to talk about before we get out of here? Or do you want to save something for after we close out? Nope. I'm going to get my lunch and then open up my, about a bunch of middle grade crap for research. I can't wait, I can't wait for the first Let's Key middle grade book. I can't wait for that. It's going to be something interesting. It's going to be fun. I'm definitely going to read it. Anyways, all right. Thank you all for joining us. There weren't many of you in here today. I think Jayrod and who? Cross was in here for a hot minute and then there's Ty and Jude. But yeah, Viking even popped in. But yeah, thanks for those of you who hung around. Those of you that popped in, those of you that worked along with us, all that stuff. I am really excited to play Starfield. So I probably will probably stream before five o'clock, but if I do go early, I will let discord know at least 30 minutes in advance. But thanks y'all for hanging. Thanks to y'all for hanging. Until next time, all hail the chair. Bye bye.