 The darkest secret of the narcissist, the narcissist has a very dark secret. They won't want you to know this and they're often quite good at hiding it, but the truth is that the core emotion of a narcissist is envy, they're experiencing discontentment and resentment, aroused by your possessions, qualities or luck. They decide to have it or they decide to have you all to themselves, which is why they try to control you because they see you as this possession that belongs to them and it's why they will often feel and express bitterness and annoyance because they feel it is unfair and at times they may even seem very angry and frustrated because of their inability to change or achieve you, to mold you into who they want you to be so that they can then continue as this thing that belongs to them. But once you know what to look for it's actually really obvious that they're envious of you because it's the reason why they targeted you, it's what made you stand out and they may have even tried to rob or destroy your qualities and attributes. Another key indicator that someone is envious of you is when they try to trigger your insecurities and make you envious of them, at times these behaviors may be unconscious, if they are aware of it they will try to hide it because they don't want you to see them when they are vulnerable, they fear that it may expose them to the risk of attack or harm, when in actuality an unhealed victim would likely feel most attracted to the narcissist in that moment, that would likely be the moment that you've been waiting for, because you're desiring to help and save them but once you've healed from narcissistic abuse that is the very thing that will turn you away, because then you would desire something more healthy and normal and if you've done enough research you will know that they're envy developed in their childhood, they had unmet emotional needs and they envied their parents for withholding that from them, which is what caused them to become attention seekers or attention whores, while at the same time they became self-absorbed, they became preoccupied with their own feelings, interests and situation, when now it seems like women are lacking empathy and consideration for you, while the next are arrogant and entitled to something from you, which is all the inevitable result of their core emotion, it's why they shut themselves off, it's why they end up devaluing and discarding you, because this thing that they want and desire cannot be theirs in the way that they would like, which is why they become so bitter and resentful because it resurfaces their childhood trauma, where their emotions were neglected by their parents, narcissists want to be admired and adored but they do not want anyone to see that vulnerable side of them, they want you to validate the false character and the more you try to encourage and love that true part of them, the more they will begin to hate you because they believe that it's not good enough, which is what they learned in childhood as a result of being neglected by their parents, so you will never see that side of them, you will only see different characters and they often have a different character for everyone they deal with, but even if you could see what is beneath the surface, you wouldn't know how to deal with it because in that moment they can be very fragile and they may even lash out at you, only a licensed therapist should deal with a narcissist in that state of mind, but the odds of that you will never see that side of them over a long period of time, you may often witness small windows of self-reflection when they've experienced a narcissistic injury or when they're disillusioned, I did that moment they may appear shocked and cut off guard or they may seem bitter and resentful, but those feelings will quickly subside and they will be replaced by feelings of anger because they see it as an attack, once you've resurfaced their feelings of shame, so they will become very arrogant and entitled and you will witness their envy of you, as this destruction alleviates the distress and the sense of own emotional disabilities, the narcissist rejected their true self because psychologically they're unable to accept that they're frauds, they're unable to accept their weaknesses and character and that their damage will imperfect in some way, the false character is meant to be superior to you, they believe that it has unlimited power and it is entitled to whatever it wants from you, their psychological survival is dependent on securing external validation for their supply, so they have to make you believe that their illusion of perfection is reality, the only problem is that this is unattainable, it's not able to be achieved, which is why they often engage in controlling behaviors and manipulation tactics and it's also why they show a lack of empathy because it's designed to distract you from focusing on their flaws and perfections as they endlessly chase information or evidence that they are more than other people, but for them to do this they need to have a reference point, they need to have a basis or standard for comparison, because without a comparison they cannot assess what is more than which again is why they targeted you because they feed their ego by valuing their own personal and social worth by assessing how they compare to you, so you are their reference point and their pathological envy acted as a magnet that drew them to you, but they idealized you and put you on a pedestal, until their envy led to them devaluing and discarding you as they eventually began to believe that they were a better you than you, narcissists target those who possess what is absent in them, they targeted you because of your empathy and compassion, your strength, courage and kindness, but even though they were drawn to these qualities it was never to value this about you, it was only so that you could mirror to them what they needed to believe about themselves which is how they began to merge with you and mirror everything that was great about you and then try to convince not only you but themselves that the two of you are very alike, when really they are nothing like you they are the exact opposite of you which is why they end up devaluing and discarding you because at some point they realize that they cannot compete with you, they realize that they cannot manifest all of their lies and future faking into reality and when that realization takes place they begin to experience a lot of pain and distress as they realize that they lack your qualities achievements or possessions because up until that point they manage to delude themselves that they are the same as you that they are on your level or that they can do what you do but inevitably this delusion comes crashing down like a house of cards as your qualities break through their denial and they realize that they are in fact inferior to you which is what then causes them to oppose you and compete with you because they feel less than you you set a standard that is very threatening to them it's something that they cannot match which puts their false character in danger because although they may have talked the talk they cannot walk the walk they realize that you possess qualities and traits that they do not have so instead they devalue you they invalidate and abuse you and they gain pleasure from your pain because your misfortune makes them feel better so that is when they will come after you with manipulation projection dominance intimidation isolation lying gaslighting smear campaigns and ghosting and it's not because you were randomly chosen it's because they are envious of you because you are an amazing person you're so loving kind and generous and you have a warm heart you just forgot about it because you were around a narcissist who made you doubt yourself and made you believe that you are less than who you really are because they are envious of your skills and talents they're envious of your ability to be happy and of your optimism and empathy and your ability to experience real love so they wanted to destroy that which they were not able to have and that which they were not able to participate in which is why they devalued you because they didn't want to see you moving on and experience something that they can't but just the thought of it made them envy and resent you it made them want to bring you down to their level while all you wanted to do is help them but their envy of you just made them want to hijack all of the attention while preventing you from realizing that they are beyond help they will never be satisfied they will never appreciate you and they will never accept you because you become this reflection to them of everything they're not everything they wish they could be and they constantly reminded them that they will never be a part of it because you're not the same which is why they're trying to become more like you they take on your interests and ideals only so they can use it to triangulate you with someone else because they already know that they don't belong with you they can't even be around you once you see them for what they are which is why they always pull out the false character because they know you don't want to see who they actually are they haven't even begun to work themselves they've depended on their manipulation tactics their entire lives and all they managed to secure by doing that was people who are foolish or people who didn't have any other options because that is all that they can get so of course they haven't got anything to give to you all they have achieved in their lives is from manipulating and deceiving other people just as they did with you from lying and future faking and selling you a dream but they can't get you once you're aware of it because it is all a game it's a fantasy it's a delusion and it is based on the envy of you which is their darkest secret are they trying to cover it up by deluding themselves and to think that you are envious of them when you were the one who endlessly overextended your empathy and compassion to them while they devalued and validated and abused you but sometimes their envy is unconscious they may not be aware that they are envious of you but if you look at their behaviors and how they treated you that should give the closure and validation that you need and it should reveal to you why they inevitably turned against you because they knew that they could never be like you they knew that you were not the same and that they could never reciprocate what you would give into them so that only option was to fall back and fall off they had to remain hidden but you can share your qualities with someone who will appreciate you someone who is more like minded someone who is about the same things and when you do that you will realize why it never worked out with the narcissist thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at payable.me there's nark survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narksurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon