 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Corressible hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden Time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, most students won't have their final exams for several weeks yet But our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School has had to undergo quite a few impromptu tests recently Yes, our beloved principal, mr. Conklin has taken to conducting a series of sudden little quiz shows without prizes to see if the faculty is on its toes Fortunately when mr. Conklin came into my classroom last Friday morning He found me very much on my toes due to a habit formed in my childhood of sitting with my feet curled beneath me Although it was my free period. I sprang to attention when mr. Conklin entered at ease Miss Brooks conjugate the word strive, please strive Strive strobe striven now thrive thrive thrive throw thriven. Uh, no Really mr. Conklin these sudden little tests are quite disconcerting silence miss Brooks. We're not finished Yes, sir more verbs five five five foe fiven Now wait a minute mr. Conklin five isn't a verb Thank you miss Brooks. I knew my visit to your room would produce some valuable bit of information My main reason for dropping in however was to ask you to do me a favor miss Brooks as you know Sunday is Mother's Day Yes, I know mr. Conklin. Thanks to a special savings plan. I started in February I was able to send my mother a card this morning But what did you want me to do for you? I'd like you to take this package home with you and keep it until Sunday morning It's a little Mother's Day remembrance for mrs. Conklin. I don't want it to stumble upon it before time Wonderful woman mrs. Conklin, and she's trained our daughter Harriet to be a duplicate of herself. Really? Yes Between them. They're the two biggest snoopers in the county That makes it unanimous. I mean, I'll be happy to keep the package for you mr. Conklin Thank you miss Brooks. I hope my daughter Harriet remembers Mother's Day Lately she's had her mind on nothing but that moon-eyed calf-brained Walter Denton Walter isn't so bad mr. Conklin. Of course. He's not a brilliant student brilliant Walter Denton is Madison's gift to sub normality Thing that annoys me most is the way he bounces. He never goes anywhere. He always bounces there Hi miss Brooks. I just thought I'd bounce him for a minute Well, if it isn't the human handball Hello, mr. Conklin. Oh, if I'm interrupting anything, I'll just bounce along no Walter mr. Conklin was about to dribble back to his office You were finished with me weren't you mr. Conklin quite good morning miss Brooks. Goodbye mr. Conklin. Hasta la vista mr. Conklin I learned that in Spanish. It means see you later. Oh Well, no si lo veo a usted primero What does that mean miss Brooks that means not if I see you first Well, I need some advice miss Brooks It's about a mother's day gift, but a very special type of mother miss Brooks. That is I know it's impossible right now, but just for supposition's sake Suppose you woke up one day and found yourself a mother. I have a mother of course. She's miles away No, no, I don't mean it that way miss Brooks I mean if you awoke to find that you were a mother, what would your first question be? What did it weigh doc Are you sure miss Brooks? Are you quite certain you wouldn't say how is my husband not me? I might say who is my husband? No Miss Brooks, I'm serious My dad told me that was my mother's first concern after she knew I was all right You know she thinks of us constantly and never of herself, but me what do I do in return? I don't get out of bed when she wakes me. I'm always late for my meals I never help her with the dishes and I leave my clothes all over the house Well Sunday is mother's day miss Brooks, and I've got to make it up to her Well, that's pretty short notice Walder, but I have a suggestion for you. You have yes Sunday morning wait till your mother starts to make breakfast when you're sure she's in the kitchen close the door quietly behind her Then then gather up all the clothes that you've scattered around the house Then then put them in a big suitcase then run away from home I'm just teasing you Walter. There's only one way you can make your mother happy and that's by turning over a new leaf Well, I'll try miss Brooks, but meanwhile just supposing again. Well, what kind of a present would you like if you were a mother? Oh, I wouldn't care much about presents Walter. I'd just be happy if I had all my beloved children around me gee Well, of course my mother only has this one beloved child me But it's a lovely sentiment. However, I'd still like to figure out a little gift of some sort Oh, what would make a young mother like yourself happy a young father like mr. Boyn? Which reminds me Walter it's time for me to get down to his laboratory and pick him up for lunch Oh, did he invite you for lunch today? Of course he did about 10 minutes from now Tell me Walter were you able to find out what kind of a gift miss Brooks would like I couldn't find out a thing Harriet, but we've got to get her something What's the good of naming miss Brooks our mother away from mother if we can't surprise her with something she wants now? Let me see we'll organize a committee pick out a gift and give it to miss Brooks great Harriet Then tonight will officially become mother away from mother's day night Well, I certainly enjoyed that lunch our cafeteria cook seems to be getting better. He should be getting better He eats his meals across the street I'm at the foods improving now that we've finished lunch miss Brooks. I uh, I have a surprise for you surprise What is it mr. Boynham? Yes, one of your guinea pigs died and left you a million dollars No Then I give up. Well miss Brooks. I want you to meet my folks why mr. Boynham You've only known me for five years I Just found out they were coming to town myself You see they usually spend mother's day with my married brother, but mom decided that this year It's my turn to do what oh You mean your turn to spend mother's day together. Oh, that's right. Oh, you'll love my mother miss Brooks She used to be a school teacher too You know as a matter of fact she worked herself up until she was a principal you got to get pretty worked up to be a principal Oh, I'm sure we'll get along splendidly and you'll be crazy about my dad. Oh, what a sense of humor He's got you know He's the one who told me the joke about the quiz master who called out I've got a lady doctor, but before he could ask her any questions. She stuck a thermometer in his mouth and took his pulse Isn't that a scream? Your father sounds like more fun than a barrel of depressed monkeys Uh May I ask you a rather personal question about your folks mr. Martin? Well certainly miss Brooks. What is it? How long did they go around together before they were married nine years? I? See folks believed in long engagements in those days, I guess They weren't engaged until six weeks before the wedding six weeks. Mm-hmm once dad makes up his mind about something He's greased lightning A little greasing the first eight years When are they arriving in town well this afternoon miss Brooks, I'll have to check them into a hotel for the weekend I've just got a small bachelor apartment. Yes. I know you told me about it Maybe your folks would like to drop over to mrs. Davis's tonight I'm sure my landlady wouldn't mind my dusting the living room a little well That's just fine with me miss Brooks that'll give the folks a chance to rest up from their trip and have some dinner before they Before they meet the girl about whom they've heard so much why mr. Born you mean you actually wrote to your folks about me and how miss Brooks I've written them many times about how gay and youthful and exuberant you are I am I mean you have Right I remember in one of my most recent letters to them I said you were more like a pupil than a teacher in fact I think that was a letter in which I described you as a great big overgrown kid Maybe I better take something You should have seen the answer I got from dad he said whatever you do son don't rob the cradle Leave it to dad He was jesting of course he loves youngsters mr. Boynton you've given me an idea What kind of an idea miss Brooks if your father turns me down when I ask him for your hand, maybe he'll adopt me But first here is Vern Smith now tests published in authoritative dental literature Show that when teeth are brushed right after eating Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Two years research at five leading universities hundreds of case histories shows that when used as directed Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best yes Exhaustive tests show the Colgate way best to prevent decay Better than any other home method of oral hygiene known today based on both clinical and x-ray examinations The Colgate way stopped more decay for more people than ever before reported in all dentiferous history Even more important There were no new cavities whatever for more than one out of three who used Colgate dental cream is directed Think of it not even one new cavity in two full years No other dentiferous paste or powder Ammoniated or not? No other dentiferous has proof of such results the best results ever reported for a dentiferous of any type So always use Colgate to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and remember when you follow the Colgate way Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Well, I hurried home right after school and put mr. Conklin's gift to his wife on my dresser Then I started to make myself in the house as presentable as possible for mr. Boynton's parents First of all I took a shower and set my hair in pin curls Then I put on an old oversized house dress, which I had borrowed from Mrs. Davis This intriguing combination achieved the happy effect of making me look like a rat drowning in a quonset hut Then I went into the living room to get things in order when I got there Mrs. Davis had just finished vacuuming Oh, Connie will you pull the plug out for me my back's been bothering me lately certainly Mrs. Davis there Say this vacuum cleaner is pretty old, isn't it? Yes indeed, but it's held up remarkably well I bought it in 1932 1932 yes, this Hoover came in when the other one went out I Know I've never met mr. Boynton's parents before I know you haven't Connie and first impressions are so important That's why I sent our sofa and all the chairs out to be Recovered what every chair in the house is that the upholsterers Connie But don't worry stretch snot grass took them down for me and he promised to bring them back by six o'clock Stretch snot grass look Mrs. Davis stretch may be a fine athlete, but when it comes to mentality He's strictly a third strike why he's liable to forget where he took the chairs Oh, I don't think so Connie You know how absent-minded I am and even I couldn't forget the name of this upholsterer Why not because he has a very odd name. What is it? What is what? The name whose name The upholsterer Upholsterer yes, look Mrs. Davis the sofa and all our chairs are being recovered today. Well, they can certainly use it Where did you send them Connie fellow with a very odd name I never can remember it I'm sure it will come back to you later now if you'll excuse me I've got to go out and back and look for our cat Minerva. Is she missing again? Mm-hmm. She had a date this morning Yes, I heard her making it last night She should be back by now she knows how I worry about her Well, you let me know she comes in the front way Connie and I'll take a look back here. All right, Mrs. Davis That's funny Minerva never bothered to ring before How do you do my dear how do you do I'm Philip's mother Philip? Yes Philip Boyden. I'm Mrs. Boyden Oh, but that's impossible. You won't be here until tonight. I mean come in Mrs. Boyden Well, you don't have to tell me who you are my dear Philip has written so much about you. He has yes He says miss Brooks wouldn't know what to do without you Mrs. Davis Well, I try my best to please Mrs. Davis That's Mrs. Davis Mrs. Boyden I'm Miss Brooks such as I am we've got company Mrs. Davis. Oh, she came in the front way did she? Yeah, she's right here in the living room. Well, you tell her she's a wicked cat Mrs. Davis you're a wicked cat and get under the no You have to forgive me Mrs. Boyden. I didn't expect you until after dinner I'm perfectly all right miss Brooks as a matter of fact I owe you an apology for not recognizing you but it was rather dim in here and I'm not dim enough Where's mr. Boyden or should I say where are mr. Boyden's or mr. Boyden? Where is everybody? Trouble parking the car. Oh, I wanted to meet you first myself. Anyway, the Phillips written so much about you You must see an awful lot of each other. Well, we do teach at the same school I understand you were a teacher at one time Mrs. Boyden. Oh, yes indeed for many years. It's remarkable You still look so well-fed May we come in? Oh, it's the boys Hello, Phillip my dear. Oh, hello mom. Well, I see you two have met. Oh, yes indeed. We're old friends by now Well, there she is dad. How do you do my dear? I hear you've been just like a mother to miss Brooks, Mrs. Davis This house dress has got to go This isn't Mrs. Davis Harvey. This is miss Brooks. Oh, well, you know what I always say a bad beginning makes a good finish It's not that I'm finished. We happen to be of English extraction Hey speaking of extraction I visited my dentist last week and he told me two of my teeth had to come out So I said what are you gonna charge me for pulling those two teeth doc ten dollars? He says oh says I then why don't you charge just to loosen them a little What a sense of humor He's hot stuff alright sure is but why are we all standing out here in the hall? Yes? Let's all go and stand in the living room Just follow me Well here we are now then mrs. Boynton if you'll just come over to this lamp. This is a very comfortable place to stand And mr. Boynton you can stand over there by the piano. I don't understand miss Brooks Where are all the chairs? They're out being recovered. I didn't expect you for hours yet, mr. Boynton This is a terrible thing to do to anybody. Oh, I'm sorry miss Brooks, but it couldn't be helped You see there's a convention in town. I couldn't get the folks accommodations anywhere You know how big my room is and well, I wondered if you and mrs. Davis could put the folks up for the weekend Why Phillips I'm surprised at you. You know better than to whisper in front of others Oh, I'm sorry mother. I was just explaining our predicament to miss Brooks She was saying how delighted she'd be to have you stay for a couple of days. Well, now that's what I call whopping hospitality It's a whopper. All right With the garbage Connie, I just oh, I thank you partner This is mr. And mrs. Boynton and this contrary to popular opinion is mrs. Davis How do you do good afternoon mrs. D nice little place you've got here I've just invited the folks to spend the weekend with this mrs. Davis if you don't mind my doubling up with you I figured they could have my room That's perfectly all right. Oh dear the upholsterer You folks must be tired after your trip. Why don't you go to bed? Bad But it's only 4 30 in the afternoon. Oh, she was only kidding mrs. Boynton mrs. Davis Oh, why don't you take the folks up to my room? Well, I could do with a bit of freshening up at that. Yeah, I don't sense mother yours fresh as the day I got you Oh Cut it out dad. Yes cut it out dad Well, miss Brooks certainly has a comfortable room Harvey. Yes indeed that little cat nap is just what the doctor ordered Tell the truth Harvey. Don't you think miss Brooks is setting her cap for Philip? Oh, is that a cap? I thought that shroud she was wearing had a snoot on it. Oh Be serious Harvey. We both know he'll make a wonderful husband when he grows up To me he's still a baby. You know how innocent he is. Yes, and sometimes I think it's all my own fault Sometimes I think that by now I should have sat him down and had a man-to-man talk with him Although my father didn't have a man-to-man talk with me until I was past 30 and at that I married you anyway Hey, what's this package on the dresser here says for mother must be for you Oh, well now wasn't that thoughtful of miss Brooks. She got a mother's day gift for me when she heard I was coming I'm going to open it right away. Oh mother's day isn't until Sunday. Now, you know, I'd never have the patience to wait. Oh Now let's see Well, why what's this a black silk negligee? Well, happy Mother's Day This can't be for me. Hey look look this card fell out when you opened up in the package says for baby from her goodie Well, I'm going to find out just where this came from. Oh Miss Brooks, I'm here a moment, please What can I do for you? Well, I opened a package by mistake and found this inside of it a Black sheer negligee. There was a card with it that said for baby from goodie goodie Oh, that must be short for Osgood. Why of course that was mr. Conklin's gift. Mr. Conklin Principal of Madison High. Yes, isn't he a devil? He asked me to keep it for him so his wife wouldn't discover it before Mother's Day. Oh, it's for his wife Yes, who did you think it was for? Don't answer that I Can tell from the position of your eyebrows my eyebrows. Yes, Mrs. Boyden, you'd better drop them a notch. You're pushing back your hair in that This dinner certainly is delicious, Mrs. Davis. Well, thank you, mr. Boyden But Miss Brooks is the one who deserves the credit. She prepared it all. Oh come now, Mrs. Davis You opened every bid as much as I did Eat it slowly, fella. Yes, mother. Remember your stomach has no teeth. Maybe that's just as well If it got too hungry get you off your suspender button He always gets me when I've got a mouthful you had a mouthful here's a napkin Philip you're such a baby Well, you're right there, Mrs. Boyden. He's nothing but a great big overgrown kid Now that's funny. That's the same phrase Philip used in describing you in one of his letters Well, she is mother. You ought to see her around the school The students just treat her like one of themselves. Yes indeed. We kids have some great old times together I'll answer it Connie. Excuse me folks. I wonder who that could be Well, come me in again It's Walter and Harriet Connie. Oh, we didn't mean to disturb you miss Brooks. Oh, that's all right, Walter I was just telling the folks how informal we are at Madison. Mr. Mrs. Boyden. May I present Harriet Conklin and Walter Denham? Mr. Williamson, oh, yeah And now miss Brooks, we would like to present something to you that expresses the devotion and reverence felt toward you By the entire student body. Oh, what is it? It's a shawl a shawl and a handsome pair of knitting needles to go with the rocking chair to which you're so attached Plus which you have been chosen our mother away from mother. Oh, no I'll go to the piano, Walter and you sing the song we've written. Okay Harriet. Wait till you hear this folks The B stands for the books. She helps us study The R is for she's righteous All so pure The O is for the fact that she's our buddy The second O is likewise, I am sure The K is for okay, she writes about The S is for her sadly wrinkled brow He's motherly just like Elsie the cop miss Brooks that turns in just a moment, but first Luster cream Tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight. Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl Beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well several days later Friday night came to an end as I escorted mr. Boynton to the front door He was in the strangely mellow mood You know miss Brooks. I'm a man of many dreams But more often than not I find I'm shooting too high Shooting too high mr. Boynton. Yes in well in trying to find the right girl for instance It seems that subconsciously I'm always looking for a girl who's just like my mother Attractive yet sweet and unselfish. Well, don't give up the search mr. Boynton Someday you're liable to find such a girl right under your nose, and I think that's a very nice location What I mean is when you gave up your room for mother I suddenly realized you're not only attractive, but also sweet and unselfish So miss Brooks instead of just shaking hands like we usually do Yes, mr. Boynton. Well, I I'd like to say good night to you the way I do to my mother With a kiss a kiss mr. Boynton Yes on the forehead There you go shooting too high again To decay our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al-luis Lester white and joe quillen with the music of wilbur hatch under the direction of morris carlton Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days Yes, 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women That palm olive soap facials using nothing but palm olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds massaging palm olive's beauty lather onto your skin Then rinse so start your palm olive facials today Remember doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs north the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife Tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations and be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking The columbia broadcasting system