 All right, all right, all right. Okay, okay, okay. Listen up, folks. Listen up, listen up, listen up. Thanks for tuning in to Will Mega TV. I'm live tonight. The topic tonight is about child custody. Child custody. Dude, if your baby mama's so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? That's the topic tonight. If your baby mama is so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? Here's where I'm going. So many of you may know, many of you don't know. My professional background is falls into two lanes. The education field, education council field, behavioral management field and electoral politics. And you folks know I do some things in entertainment. That's a passion of love. I won't consider it my profession, right? I've made money from it. I've made money from being in film and television and radio and appearances publicly. But that's a passion of hobby, if you would. It's a passion of hobby. I've been blessed to have been given some talent in that field and arena, but I don't wake up every day with the passion to be an entertainer, if you would. I've just, I've had some experience in training and acting, but that's not my passion. But I will use that path as a means of both making some money. And putting messages out, right? And so now I kind of do a little entertainment piece. But my real passion is the upliftment of my people, right? And so in 20 plus years or more in the education field and uplifting and training, young black men and boys and teaching and coaching, I've come across a ton of experiences where the young men that I've coached and developed go on to become fathers. My experience with other black men who are fathers, who are my peers, folks that I've talked to in barbershops and just my daily highway, byways discussions in the confines of fraternity and very often, excuse me, in a professional world with the parents who either show up or don't show up, who show up or don't show up to school for their young men. The conversations that I have with other black men who are complaining about fatherhood. I am a father, I'm a proud father. I love my son to heaven, love him to life. And I've been blessed that his mother has been a fine mother. Great mother and we've had our ups and downs like anyone else who were co-parenting. But one of the things I've come to realize, one of the things I've come to experience is black men complaining about the mothers of their children, AKA baby mamas as they would coin them and how bad they are, complain about this, complain about that. And I say to myself, well, if she's so damn bad, at parenting, if you have so many complaints about what she's doing, why haven't you filed for full custody? She won't let me see the children. She did this, she put them in this school. I don't like what she fed them. Okay, she put me in child support. Okay, if she's so damn bad, why haven't you stepped up and applied for full custody? Because according to you, she's that damn bad. So do if your baby mama is so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? If you think you can do a better job at raising your child, especially your middle child, why haven't you filed for full custody? That's my question. And so my focus when I do these live messages, when I do these live discussions, I'm gonna be around uplifting black men to take their rightful place as men, as providers, as leaders, as protectors, as providers, leaders, protectors, as educators, because we need to be educating your children as trainers, as facilitators, as support, as spiritual guides for your children. And you still have to to a very large degree. Whether she's your woman or not, you still have an obligation to look out for the mother of your child because by relationship, she's still providing a service of motherhood to your child. So you have an obligation to her to look out for her, even when she gets on your last damn nerve to advocate and protect and support her and work with her so you can do right by your children. So the question again is to those who are shirking their duty, fellow male adults who are shirking their duty, if baby mama is so damn bad, why haven't you, why haven't you gone forth and sought legal custody? She's so damn bad, dude. If baby mama is so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? And so that's my challenge. And the reason why I ask why haven't you filed for full custody, right? Because when you file for the full legal custody, you may or may not get it. But now you have skin in the game legally because that's the world we live in. We live in a legal world. We live in a litigious world. We live in an environment where you don't have full say and how to raise your child if you're not on record while I pay child support. Okay, well, you would have been paying something anyway. I do my part, do you really? Do you really? When's the last time your child went to the dentist? When's the last time your child went to the dentist? When's the last time you went to school to check on their report card? And that's like down here, right? That's low hanging fruit. Because you don't even have to go check to see what the grades look like if you're involved in a day-to-day of their education. You would know how well they're doing if you're involved in the day-to-day of their education. You would know who their teachers were if you were involved in the day-to-day of their education. You would know what their health looked like if you were involved in the day-to-day of their lives. Nope, nope. I don't wanna hear, well, she won't allow me, nope. No, that's you choosing not to get involved. Dude, if your baby mama was so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? I didn't ask why don't you have full custody? Why haven't you filed for full custody? If you're not on record, having made attempts to get a minimum equal custody of your children so you can have some say, don't tell me that your baby mama's so damn bad. You can't tell me that, you can't tell me that. So what I want to do with the next 15 to 20 minutes is give some pointers to young black men about how you go about being a co-parent. How you go about being a co-parent? Let me ask you this. Let's take Philadelphia, for example, you may be in Flint. You're a co-parent. Your child lives primarily with their mother. Did you at least offer to deliver some water? Did you offer to figure out a plan to make sure that your child has water in school? Did you go up to the school and drop off a case of some bottles of spring water? Not just for your child before their classmates. If your baby mama's so bad, why haven't you filed for full custody? Are you just in the system? You're in the system where they're banging your check, taking money out of your pocket and you have no say. And then you blame her in the system. I have a question, brother, and just be honest with yourself. Did the system tell you to approach her when you first went to crack, when you introduced yourself, when you saw her across the room? So, oh, she's fine. I'm a holler. Did the system tell you to approach her? Did the system tell you to approach her when you decided to lay down with her? You both decided to lay down. She decided to lay down unprotected. You decided to lay down unprotected. Did the system tell you to have sex with her? Did the system tell you to ejaculate inside of her? Let's keep it at 100. Because you knew at the time you laid down with her, had sex with her, ejaculated inside of her, regardless of what she said. I don't want to hate a bullshit about, oh, she told me she was on a pill. That's not 100%. You knew having sex with her increased the possibility of her getting pregnant, because she can't get pregnant by you if you haven't had sex with her. She can't get pregnant by you if you haven't had sex with her. So this is the ownership conversation. So now your child is four years old, six years old. Nope. But I have children but other by other women. And so she was, she's doing it. Nope. You chose to have children with that woman to the other women. I can't take all these children at the same time. I don't make that much. That was your decision. You got to hustle harder. If you want some say, you need to do your part. And even if the child support order is one in which you think is just too much, you don't make that much money anymore, then why haven't you gone back to the court and gotten you a lawyer? Y'all kill me with no lawyer. All you brothers think that you're gonna be able to talk your way out of these scenarios and think somebody's gonna empathize with you. No. There's no empathy. There's no empathy. So unless you're willing to take the time to invest your dollars and cents into hiring a lawyer to make sure that when you walk into that courtroom, you have a mouthpiece who knows how to maneuver through family court and a lawyer who has a relationship with the judge. No. It's not gonna work out in your best interest. And your best interest is to do your best developing a relationship with your child's mother. Because if you don't, you just gonna be the complainant dude. You're gonna be the complainant dude calling her all kind of bees, but you approached her. She chose you to lay down with, but you approached her pursuing her. And it may have just been for your simple pleasure, but now you have a child. You have a child. And now that you have a child, you have responsibility. And now that you have a responsibility, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna join the rest of the adult mills? Cause I don't call them in. Are you gonna join the rest of the adult mills who now place this unrealistic blame on baby mamas and say she's only out to get me for my money? Or are you going to insert yourself into the process? And what does that mean? Are you gonna be a father? And if you haven't fully developed into manhood, part of fatherhood is being an example as a man. So if you haven't fully gotten into manhood and you're just an adult mill, time to check yourself. Time to get up. I need you to, here's the plan. But those of you who still have these issues with baby mama, here's the plan. Tomorrow morning, I want you to get up. You get out the bed and walk into that bathroom before you brush your teeth, before you sit on the toilet, before you decide to jump into the shower, I want you to get up and say, I wanna be a man. And if the person looks back at you in that mirror and agrees with you that you should be a man, that conscious in your brain is saying, you know, I do need to take on the role and responsibility of a man. From that point on, reach out to the mother of your child or children and say, hey, from this day forward, I wanna work with you in the best interest of our child. I don't wanna hear this baby mama stuff, she ain't crap. Cause you chose to lay down with her and you targeted her. She did not force you down and make you have sex with her. A woman just can't do that. A woman can't force a man into having sex. We're not even made that way. We're not made in such a way where women can physically dominate us and force us to have sex with them. Very difficult to do. It goes the other way quite often, but it's very difficult for us to do that. So if that is the case, you're rare and more than likely that's not the case. What's the case is, you approached her, she may have winked her eyes and seduced you. But at the end of the day, she didn't force you to have sex with her. But when you decided to have sex with her, unprotected, even if the condom burst, even if she was on birth control, even if the condom burst and she was on birth control, you knew what the possibilities were of having sex with a woman. And once she got pregnant, and you know it's a woman's right to choose, once she got pregnant and she decided to go forth and give birth to that beautiful child, that's what you signed up for. And if you didn't offer to marry her, you reproducing without getting married, that's your choice, that's your choice. You chose to approach her, you pursued her for the most part, you chose to go after this woman, love it or not. She moved on or not. She may have even been for the streets. That's what you chose to do, brother. I don't wanna hear that she's not crap because if she's so bad and she has your child and she's doing such a horrible job and I'm not saying all of them do a perfect job. What I'm saying is if she's doing such a horrible job, why didn't you say, you know what, I'm gonna step up? And that doesn't mean immediately that when you go through the court system, you're gonna get what you want, doesn't mean that. But it doesn't mean that you should walk away. Shirk your responsibility as a man or you just a dude out here and pregnant with it. Are you that guy? If she's so bad, if she's such a bad baby mama, ask yourself, why haven't you filed for full custody? I'm not saying you're gonna get it, but why haven't you filed for full custody? That's my question. What are folks saying? Peace, welcome and liking it, okay? Why haven't you filed for full custody? You were making those phone calls, sending the text, showing up, you got some gifts. You were enjoying the times that you had together, but when she gets pregnant, you disappear. Don't be that guy. Don't be that guy. Don't be that guy. Let's see what's going on here. Don't care, shed a little more light on the subject. Don't be that guy. So what are we gonna do? One, if you're really interested in being a man, the first thing I need you to do, brother, is to make a humbling ass call. She might cuss you out. She might not answer the phone. She may not respond to your texts. Call again, text again. Drop something off. Cash apper, yep. Cash apper, oh man, she went bustin' new shoes. Cash apper, askers in anything you can do because every single night that child is not with you and they're healthy, they're going to school, they're clothed, somebody's paying for it. Somebody's paying for it. And if it's not you, what role have you taken on to contribute? What role have you taken on to contribute? So you can't be the non-contributing sperm donor and talk smack about baby mom. So this is where we're gonna go. This is the track we're gonna go down. I've experienced so many absent adult males who are not in the lives of their daughters or their sons. Is there an exception to the rule? I have a friend in California. He laid down with a sister. She got pregnant. They had a great relationship prior to. She was very well off from an affluent family. They looked down on him, told her, her family told her she made a mistake reproducing with him. She moved to the East Coast. She's in Connecticut. He's in California. He doesn't see the child. The child's not aware of his presence really. Every once in a blue, she allows him to have a phone call. I don't know if they're a FaceTiming at this point. Child probably gotta be about 15, 16 at this point. Now I'm gonna think about last time we had this conversation. Okay, they're being resistant. You know where they are. You know what state. You know your child's name. Did you get the social security number? Yup, you need a higher lawyer in that state. Find out where your child is. Schedule a court date. Schedule a court date. Schedule a court date. You need to be seen by your child advocating for yourself to be present as a father. As a father. If you're not going to do that, then don't talk smack about her. And she may be in the wrong. But you can't, what's up? And I don't mean, yo, what's up? I mean, what's up? And not fight to be the father you should be in your child's or children's life. And, yeah, I get a little smarter too, dude. So you got a child here, a child over there, a child over there, and a child over there. But then you want mother one and two to have empathy for you because you had child three and four. That's hustling backwards. That's hustling backwards. Every child is going to need to be raised and that causes for money and time. And do you have the time and money to raise children and four different damn households? That's not baby mama being a problem. That's you making poor decisions. That's not baby mama being the problem. She may become a problem for you because she recognizes that she made a mistake. And sisters, I'm not letting you off the hook, but that's not who I'm here for. I'm here to call Ben, in particular, black men in the black community, to hold down their responsibility as men. And you're not a man if you're producing children whose lives you're not a part of and whose mothers you're not attempting to work with in some shape form of fashion to contribute to the lives spiritually, socially, psychologically, educationally, financially. And if you have nothing to give, you have to give your time. Don't be the absentee biological sperm donor who's in the streets talking crap about baby mama because she's not paying for the child to come see you and paying for the child's food and paying for the child's clothing and taking the child back and forth to school but you're nowhere to be. Do you even know that your child's teachers ain't? Do you know what time they have to be to school, get out of school? Do you know? I'm eventually gonna open this thing up. I'm gonna open it up. We're gonna go live. We're gonna have some conversation. I just wanted to put this out here today for you brothers to give us some thought about where you stand. And tomorrow morning, my expectation of you is to get up, out of the bed, walk yourself into that bathroom and look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, dude, baby mama, it's so damn bad. Why haven't I filed for full custody? Thanks for tuning in.