 I let out primal screams of rage. As I had took an oath of loyalty to my wife. Her cheating, meant that I would never find love again. Marriage is a sacred bond built on trust, love and commitment. To some, it's so sacred that it can't be broken. This is the story of a man, who took the vow to love the wrong woman. And became vengeful because of it. Be sure to hit the like button so hard, even Google can't find it back. The following story, could be upsetting to cheaters. I'm a 28 year old male, married to my 27 year old wife, who chose to have an affair on Easter Sunday. The next day, I confronted her with the irrefutable evidence. I left after and haven't spoken to her, nor do I plan to. We are divorcing. But I feel like even that is a pointless gesture, as utterly destroyed as I am. But I'm getting ahead, so I'll start at the beginning. My wife and I had what I thought was the perfect relationship. We were best friends, and seemed to benefit each other in a multitude of ways. We grew up together and dated our last two years of high school, all the way through college. We're both raised religiously with norms and values. So we saved ourselves for marriage. Physically, we were each other's first everything. We attended the same university and different fields of study, and married two years after graduation. We moved to a major city near our hometown to be near our families. I got a job as an engineer making a very decent salary with benefits. She got a job teaching at a high-profile private school, which she loved. Together, we made great money, and we always spent much quality time together. We traveled. We dined out frequently and every night felt like a date night. Even among a group of friends, there was always the two of us together. We were so stupidly happy, they could have put our goofy love grins as the sample photo in picture frames for sale. Our sex life was great and had always been. Less than four times a week was considered a dry spell for us. We had a great life in general. Well, at least that's what I thought. I thought we've had a great life together, but I've come to realize all of that was a lie. To think we were planning to try and have children soon. This totally blindsided me. I cannot stop hurting. I wanted to be a father someday, now that's an impossibility. Easter morning at the break of dawn, we were supposed to help at our church, hiding Easter eggs on the property, for kids to find later. We got up and threw on some clothes without showering, before driving to the church together. We groggily helped hide obvious eggs for the kids, and more secretive eggs for the older kids later that day. My wife took many pictures on her phone of us, as well as many members of the congregation. We all ended up having coffee and donuts while conversing before heading home. I'd driven to the church, but I got my wife to drive us home. She commented she was going back to bed for a few hours when we got back. I wanted to preview the college basketball championship game the next night, because my father was a Baylor graduate. We'd brought my wife's iPad along, which I used all the time like it was my very own. I never expected to see anything, and she didn't anticipate it showing me anything. I'm not very tech savvy. So, I still don't know what happened exactly. But I was reading an article as we were walking into the house. In the lower right corner, an icon appeared that said something about photos. Then picture after picture appeared, one atop the other. I don't know if my wife's phone was syncing to the iPad or our Wi-Fi. Again, I'm at a loss. I saw the pictures were the ones my wife had just taken minutes before outside the church, so I continued reading. Suddenly a few pictures flashed by that looked like they contain nudity, which was very out of character for my wife. I tried tapping on the pictures to go back. But it was like the photos weren't on the iPad. It just showed each one to me for a split second. I opened the photo file on the iPad, but nothing remotely worth mentioning was stored on the iPad that I could find. I realized, none of the photos taken at the church were on the iPad, yet I'd seen them flash by. My wife went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water to take with her, as she headed back to bed. I watched her walk up the stairs and for the first time in the history of our relationship, I felt like she might be hiding something from me. I searched every file I could find on the iPad, hoping I could find what I'd seen. But I eventually realized, to ease my mind, I'd have to check my wife's phone. I walked upstairs and found her sleeping soundly in our bed. I grabbed her phone off of the charger and took it into our bathroom. We'd never had an open or closed phone policy. We just used each other's devices at will with nothing to hide. So, discovering her passcode had been changed. Made my heart nearly stop. I tried it again and again at different speeds. No doubt, it had been changed. My eyes welled up with tears, just knowing my wife was probably hiding something from me. It was a sign that there was something unknown to me, that I truly needed to know. I walked back in the bedroom and placed her phone back in the charger. Part of me wanted to believe I was crazy, or that I just thought I saw something risque, but my mind was playing tricks on me. I had actually imagined discovering what I saw was nothing carnal, and laughing about what I thought it actually was. But the passcode got me. I tried acting as normally as possible. She knew me better than anyone, so keeping all emotions welled up while at the same time being sneaky was difficult. But late that afternoon when she was in the kitchen, I heard her text alert. I popped around the corner just in time to see her enter a brand new code. So, I knew I wasn't losing my mind completely. Later that night after she'd gone to bed, I again took her phone into the bathroom. I entered the new code and opened her photos file. To my surprise, nothing close to a photo containing nudity was anywhere to be found. I even found the photos she'd taken at the church that morning. Nothing indecent was among them. I was just about to close the app when I decided to look for deleted photos. To my surprise, I found two photos of my wife, bare and partially, uncovered, along with a bare shot of some guy other than me. I quickly sent all three pics to my own phone, then deleted that text as well as the photos. I placed my wife's phone back in the holder, walked to the downstairs restroom to make less noise, went straight to the toilet and vomited like I'd been given Ipaqac. I'd never seen either picture of my wife before. She didn't do that sort of thing, and I didn't really desire it. I could always have her to myself soon enough given the next opportunity, and I already knew how beautiful she was. We just felt like photos like that could always come back to haunt people. She and I were two united as one. We had no need to share our intimacy with the world. Or so I thought. I sure didn't know who the guy was in the picture. I looked at it and felt anger, even having no idea who he was or if my wife knew him in any way. After I stopped hurling my guts up, I laid on the floor and cried like a little child. I had never cried harder in my life, but I just knew something was wrong, I could feel it. I got a few hours of sleep next to my wife before I had to get up to go to work. Every project I was working on got put on hold, as I researched how to recover texts from a phone. As it turns out, since the plan we had was in my name through my employer, I could access every message and pics sent via text. Long story short, I recovered raunchy messages, selfies, and yes, even pics and video together, all there. I could say I went and vomited again, but it was dry heaving. I'd gotten rid of the last thing I could throw up at 2 a.m. I went down to my car and cried so hard I thought my eyes would bleed. I couldn't imagine the nightmare I was living was real. But I knew instantly everything with my wife, my best friend was over and every dream I had was gone. I yelled primal screams of rage. I was thankful she wasn't there at my moment of discovery. I didn't know what I was capable of and I didn't want her to see me like that. I couldn't think what to do, where to go or who to call. I was just in shock and the person I would have turned to at a time like that was the very person who had destroyed me. I stopped crying and just sat there in a complete days unsure what to do, but certain I didn't want to do anything. I knew what had started off as an unproductive morning, was certain to be an unproductive day. I went back inside, met with each team member on the company project we were doing, then left work. I didn't even want to look at my wife, so I certainly wasn't going to go by her school to confront her. I just drove around for hours in shock. I went from tears to rage and back again. The evidence was overwhelming and undeniable. I thought of emailing her and both our families all the information I'd found and then driving to a ravine. I truly didn't want to continue like this and I certainly didn't want to deal with the confrontation to end our marriage once and for all. My wife usually got home a few hours from work before I did. So, I parked down the street from her school to see where she went when she got off from work. I had it in my mind from what I'd found. She'd probably head to her lover's house for sexy time after work. But she left and went straight home, oblivious I was following her most of the way. I'd printed out pages and pages of texts and pictures at work to show her what I knew. I anticipated confronting her and her denying anything until I showed her proof, leading to much conversation and fighting. I didn't want that. I didn't want to ever lay eyes on her again, talk to her or be in her presence ever again. Those pictures in particular ended all love I ever had for her in an instant. In fact, in the course of a day, I went from loving her more than I knew possible for a human to love, to hating her with every fiber of my being. How she could do to me what she did was mind boggling. We were done the second she cheated. I was just the last to get the memo. My mind was all over the place. I just wanted to go into the house, pack a bag and leave without seeing her or saying a word if possible. When I walked in the front door, she was sitting on the couch, texting. She may have been texting her mom, her sister, most anyone, but I knew she wasn't texting me. And that day I'd learned the odds were high. She was busy doing more things that could cause me more pain. She smiled and noted that I was home from work early. I didn't say a word to her. I just walked down the hall into our bedroom, got a suitcase out of the closet and began packing clothes for the work week for my stay in a hotel room. She came into the bedroom, saw me packing and asked if I had to go on a sudden business trip. I stopped what I was doing, looked directly at her with a stare of absolute loathing, then continued packing. She walked up to me and asked, Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? And then placed her hand gently on my back. I recoiled from her touch, like I just had some road carcass with maggots touch me. I turned and loudly told her to never touch me again before pushing her away. When she tried to ask what was wrong, I called her something that I can't say here. Let's say I said the worst you can say to a woman that has no virtue or morality. She had the audacity to look shocked and hurt. That's when I pulled out the stack of papers I'd copied, threw them onto the bed, closed my suitcase and began to leave. She sat down to look at the papers. Before I got down the hall, I heard her scream. No, no, no. Before breaking down in tears and running to catch me, I made it out the door to my car and threw my suitcase in the back. She managed to make it outside before I pulled off. I extended my middle finger in her direction as I drove away. My phone started going off like a casino slot machine, so I just turned it off. My plan was to completely ghost her and let whatever steps needed to be done for divorce taken care of by my lawyer. I didn't want to know how they met, why it happened and what exactly had occurred between them. She knew damn well infidelity was a deal breaker. Why she was even calling I had no idea, but didn't care. I got a motel room about a mile for my job and checked in. I walked to an adjacent restaurant and forced down some food I didn't want to eat. Back in the room, I used the motel phone to call my mom and tell her where I was. She'd been worried as she'd been one of the first people my wife had called after I left. I asked my mom if she'd been told why I left and she admitted she hadn't. I told her what I'd found, explained we would be divorcing and I'd be looking for a job in another state so I never had to run into my cheating ex-wife or any of her family again. I asked her to keep what she knew between her, my dad and siblings. My mom cried. I mean I wasn't there to see it, but it sounded like ugly crying and disbelief. But the realization my wife and her family were no longer any part of our lives hurt. I'm sure knowing she'd never hold a grandchild fathered by me, hurt a lot too. But she knew how I was raised, so she also knew I was done. I have to emphasize that my family is very religious. Whole my life, I believe that I would marry once. My ex-wife grew up the same way. It was heartbreaking and I was exhausted after the call with my mom. So, I wept and struggled myself to sleep, only to be awakened by a knock at the door around midnight. I got up and looked out the peephole to see my wife anxiously waiting for me to open the door. I couldn't grasp how she'd found me, much the less figured out what room I was in. But I did not want to see her or hear her voice. After what she did to me, she lost any right to even look in my general direction. So again, I used the motel phone. But instead of calling family, I called the local police. I stayed on the line explaining the situation as they sent two officers. I waited and pretended not to be there while she wouldn't leave the door. When the cops arrived, I watched as they removed my soon-to-be ex-wife from in front of the door and led her over to the squad car. Then one officer knocked on the door and I let him into the room. He assured me they wouldn't let my wife in and asked how I wanted them to proceed. I explained I wanted her to leave me alone and I wanted absolutely no contact with her ever again. He and I filled out all the necessary paperwork for a restraining order. He made sure the restraining order was what I wanted since it would limit me from being able to go back to my house on my own to get things without police escort. I told him I never wanted to enter that house again. I was done with her and she could have it and the rest of our belongings too. He got her to sign the restraining order. I watched her and the cops drive away, then went back to bed for a few hours. I made it to work the next day. Everyone asked how I was feeling since they all thought I left due to being ill. I told them I still felt a bit under the weather and told them I'd be working in my office all day, just in case what I had was contagious. I called my boss and asked him for a good time to meet in my office. 15 minutes later, he was sitting across from me. I'm sure he was there to get an update on the project my team was working on. When I explained the previous day, I discovered my wife had been cheating. He seemed almost as shocked as I was. I didn't begin to mention, I'd soon be looking for another job out of state. But I did convey there was no chance of reconciliation and as far as I was concerned, my wife was dead to me. It was all I could do to maintain composure and not cry. But I explained to my boss that I planned to dive into my work to distract me from my personal life. I explained at that moment that I would need the actual work far more than I needed the paycheck which came with it. He assured me I could work as much as I wanted and even crash in my office when needed. I thanked him for his kindness before asking him to keep everything between us until word leaked out. After work that day, I went by my parents' house for dinner. They had all my siblings and their spouses over as well. My parents called me aside as dinner was ending and suggested I let everyone there know what had happened and was about to happen. There were still a few people eating when I began to talk. But the news sort of ruined everyone's appetites. They all were as shocked and enraged as I had been. Two of my siblings had gotten calls from my ex when I left and had felt sorry for her. Both wished they'd known what was going down, so they could have given her a piece of their minds. I assured them and the rest of my family that I just wanted my wife and anyone related to her ignored, blocked from contact and ostracized. I explained it wasn't her family's fault that my wife chose to be unfaithful and break the marriage for some fun. And my wife had proved she was unworthy of any attention sent her way, positive or negative. I then explained I would be looking for a new job in another state over the coming weeks. Some family members were angered. They weren't mad at me for feeling that is what I needed to do. They were mad my wife sinned and I was being punished by being removed from those that love and care about me. It didn't seem even remotely fair. But the chances of getting every human related to her to leave the state out of shame wasn't happening. The next day I met with my lawyer for the first time. We live in an at fault state, so the stack of papers proving infidelity was a welcome sight to her. I tried to approach that meeting with 100% logic and no emotion. All emotions are temporary and letting your emotions lead you through life as a recipe for utter chaos. I explained she and her staff would need to be the go-between for my wife and I until the divorce was finalized. I also explained there was a restraining order in place. I told her I didn't care about any of our possessions. Everything we owned reminded me of my cheating ex, so I didn't want a single item or the house we lived in. The only thing I was concerned with was that she could not touch my 401K or other investments given to me before marriage. That's when my lawyer asked. What do you want, sir? We can go for a fair divorce, which would be aimed towards an equal outcome. Or we can go, scorched earth. I looked down and thought for a few moments. The emotional turmoil I was enduring had reached the point it was causing actual physical pain. I knew the events I was living through had changed everything forever and there was no going back. A week before if I'd been presented with a fair or no-holes barred option, I would have gone with a fair route. But I felt nothing but loathing and disgust for the woman who lied to me nearly my whole life and betrayed me like no one else had. I instructed my lawyer to take every available avenue to make the divorce as difficult as possible. I still didn't care for the stuff. Any item my lawyer managed to get for my cheating wife for me would just go into a big bonfire after everything was finalized. But at that moment I envisioned that bonfire being so large and bright it could be seen from space. I wanted her to go after my wife financially and if they could figure out who the affair partner was to go after him as well. My state has alienation of affection laws which allows a person to sue someone who contributed to the end of a marriage in civil court. I told my lawyer if they discovered he is in a relationship to contact his partner. In short, I wanted to make everything scorched earth for them both. I wanted to convey to my wife that my hatred grew beyond words and I meant business. I wanted to nuke her life like she'd so casually destroyed mine and let the pieces fall where they may. My lawyer called me at work to let me know my wife had been served at her job. She asked me to come by after work to talk with the messenger they'd sent to serve my wife the divorce papers. Just knowing she'd been served and was grasping I would never be any part of her life again was enough. But I decided to listen to the messenger in the soul hopes he might tell me more juicy details after being served. He and I sat in an office without my lawyer present as he explained he'd taken the paperwork by the school at around 10 a.m. He checked in with the front office as a courier and a member of the faculty led him to my wife's classroom. She was in the middle of a lesson as the employee opened the door. The courier said he walked past the staff member asked my wife to verify her name and told her. You are now being served official divorce papers due to infidelity. He said my ex-wife was obviously shocked at the speed I was moving embarrassed to be served at work in front of her students and was fighting back tears. He told me as he walked out she fell into the floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. I was glad she'd gotten the paperwork. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this out. It's been a bit cathartic, but I don't need advice. Well, at least I don't think so. As stated, I have everything planned out and the divorce is in motion and will take place. I just hurt so bad and I'm truly struggling to find a reason to carry on. I don't wanna hurt myself. I just want my life back and that is an impossibility. There can be no new life in my future with someone else. She destroyed something pure and beautiful. One can only attain once in a given lifetime. And despite her tears, she didn't even care. She took what we had and turned it to ashes with her infidelity. I'm struggling to envision my life totally alone until the day I pass and I don't wanna go on that path. I resent myself for ever giving her a minute of my time, much the less years of my life. I feel like my entire life has been and will be a wasted one. Sure, I have a career and the capacity to move on, but doing it alone the rest of my days is just overwhelming me. I suppose I need to explain why I said I will never be a father and will be alone from here on out. You see, I was raised a certain way with a certain mindset. My wife was raised this way as well. It's one of the reasons we were so close. I guess in the end she didn't give a damn about her proper upbringing and decided to destroy us both in the process. I was raised to believe that humans were never meant to run around sewing oats and having meaningless tawdry sexy time with random hookups. I believe the most ideal relationship a human can achieve in this life is one where the two have only known each other. I understand in these modern times that point of view sounds archaic to most, if not all. But two people discovering intimacy together, every act of intimacy is a beautiful thing. Nobody has to worry about past partners. Nobody has to worry about the negatives. Nobody has to worry about your partner's experiences with other people because there were no other partners. You learn together, you grow together. Instead of living a life that would remove any possibility of STDs, unwanted pregnancy, paternity fraud, et cetera. Our world has made ways to correct those mistakes instead of having to face the consequences of foolish life choices. Two become one and nothing can come between them. Or that's what I was led to believe. That is the way romantic relationships were meant to be, but humanity has run away from that mindset. That's what my wife claimed to believe to me more times than I could count. I couldn't begin to tell how many times my wife claimed to be grateful we lived our lives the way we did. She said she cherished the fact that we could know each other in a way few people can anymore. I guess that was all shameless lies. But it doesn't even matter anymore. Because of that mindset, there can never be reconciliation. And there is no way I could ever view her as attractive after seeing what she was doing behind my back. Nothing in this world can change the way I feel about her now. Before I found out, I would have hugged and kissed her with all the love I had for her. But now she could appear on her best day before me and it would make me feel sick to my core. And as I have known someone else, I can never have that bond with another human. I couldn't date a virgin even if I wanted to, because due to my relationship with my wife, I couldn't be what that hypothetical celibate person deserves. I'm sure I will get some hate from various progressive listeners who view sexy time as something to do with random people for fun. That's all fine and smurfy. Opinions differ, and I know my viewpoint is far from standard anymore. But I truly believe two people is the way it has always been supposed to be. By saying two people, that's regardless gender or orientation. What any two people do in the privacy of their own company is their business and certainly none of mine. I cannot stress enough. I don't care about anyone's orientation. It's a major reason I don't wanna know any more specifics about my wife's affair. My wife turned out to be a lecherous Jezebel, so that's my loss and my own stupidity for choosing so poorly. I just don't think it's fair that I didn't commit the sin, but I'm the one who has to endure life the rest of my days, totally alone. This verse was instilled in me from a young age. Luke 1618, anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Wow, that was hard to read. Even brought tears to my eyes. My first wife cheated on me. I got rid of all her stuff out in the yard at 2 a.m. and went back to work. I'm sorry about this. I wish people would think about how it affects others when they cheat. I am sorry to hear about your present condition, but I'm so happy to see that there are other people in this world who would think like me. I too believe in the same principles as you regarding a marriage or relationships. You did the right thing. There is no excuse to justify cheating. Keep her away or else she will make your life worse. Don't be disheartened. I too thought that I would never have another woman in my life after I got cheated on by my ex. It took me seven plus years to get healed. After 10 years, I have a family now. You will also get healed and find the right partner in the right time. I wish you a better life ahead. God bless you. Thank you for your words. God bless you as well. I've been doing a good job focusing solely on work the last few days. I've made massive amounts of progress on the company project since all my time had been spent in my office. It seems stupid to pay for a motel bed when my office has a comfortable couch. I woke up this morning with every intention of getting further ahead on the project, as well as begin my job search in other states. But when I sat down in my desk chair and saw the date on my computer, I had a realization that brought me to tears. Now I'm done. This is my wife's birthday. Obviously, I had zero plans to send her any well wishes, but it made me consider something I hadn't. That date will always belong to her, at least in my mind. It was bad enough thinking about upcoming holidays making me flashback to happier times when I had someone. I think I could always ignore those days and just work. But today's date will always bring her to mind. No matter what I do or where I go, I cannot get away from that. Moving away and avoiding her doesn't really remove her from my life because she was my life. I want to erase every memory of her in my mind. I want to forget I ever knew her. What were cherished memories just one week ago are now nothing but bitter memories of lies and deception. I can't endure that. I just can't. It's amazing how quickly life can just flip the script on you and destroy your entire world overnight. Obviously from the comments I got, many loathe me, my views, my beliefs. I'm actually fine with that. I'm honestly not usually one to use language and terms I used in my post. I just felt her actions said much harsher things to me than any words I could say to my wife ever could. But when things end, they end, much like life. Sure, I could seek out help to try and convince myself that this all hasn't been as bad as it seemed. But my grandpa taught me not to blow smoke up anyone's booty, especially my own. So it's done, and so am I. This obviously isn't the time or manner I envisioned it ending. But sometimes this life can be cruel. God bless you each and every one. May you know peace in this life. I would not wish love upon anyone, even my worst enemy. You stayed till the end, which means you're the one I make these episodes for. Thank you for your support. I really appreciate you. Subscribe, so you don't miss out on future episodes and show your vengeful devotion by tickling the like button without mercy. Do you have any experiences surrounding the topic of this episode? Share yours below. I'll join the conversation. I'll be seeing you in the next one.