 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm your host Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today I'm going to talk about how one man emotionally opened up his heart But before I do really quickly if you have a comment to make on this particular video I would love it if you did because any I've got a little special offer for anyone who does make a comment I'm offering a special gift to one lucky person who writes a comment below on this personal video I say personal video because this is a Mother's Day video that I'm making On Mother's Day, and this is a personal share. I'm just going to be kind of rambling for a bit because Many of you who watch my channel are mothers and I want to honor you today big time And yet not all of you are and so we all have mothers and we should all honor our mothers today And there's something particularly special. I want to share today. So really quickly That's my mom and dad for anyone who watches my videos That's my mom and dad and you might notice that I continually change the pictures here today Or to change those pictures with every video and I've got something very special to talk about that as well So my mother passed away in November of 2017 and I'm grateful. She lived a good life She's very blessed. She had so much to be grateful for and we had a very nice Ability to say goodbye to her and so this is gonna be my third Mother's Day without her But what I'm really mourning today is something much deeper and for those of you've been following me You may know this and for those who don't my 19 year old son passed away in July of 2018 Just shortly after my mother did and it obviously an incredibly traumatic event For those who know me his nickname was Salty hence why I have the t-shirt stay Salty today And just for those who are interested So I really want to honor his mother Connor's mother and that is her right there That's Connor and his mom Aaron That's Connor my son Colin and his mom Aaron and that's my mom and my son Connor there as well I wanted to honor her today Because I'll be candid with you after the divorce There was a lot of anger and angst between us and it was very contentious and It took me years to shift that anger and that element of just just that that Friction between us it took years to heal and mend that and I want to lean into that today Because I have so much to be grateful for she was or is a fantastic mother She did a great job of raising the children when I was very myopic and selfish in my own angst and I was going through my emotional despair and She was going through her own stuff too But not one minute not one day did she falter and being a mom and she still to this day is a great mom To our son Colin and so I truly want to honor her big time. I'm so beyond grateful For what a great job she did I mean I I know I feel like I'm rambling here. So I am kind of rambling here Because I am very emotional about this I'm very sad that she's not going to be able to spend today with with our son And I know I'm going to feel the same way on Father's Day, and this is no parent should ever experience this But I want to lean into what did it take for me to open my heart? Why did I? How did I shift from being in that negative place to a much greater positive place? And why I think this is important for everyone to hear again, please post a comment I'd like to hear your thoughts on this and again for one lucky person. I've got a special gift for them What truly opened my heart was was another woman and I was in relationship back in 2010 for almost six years or excuse me 2011 for almost six years of fantastic woman who is a therapist and During our time together. She really got me to open up to appreciate the value of my ex-wife Now I think this is part of them by the way. Here's a picture. I'm since I'm showing pictures. This is a picture of my Ex-girlfriend Sherry Dear friend of mine today and while it didn't work out for us because On some level, I think we were both entered into each other's lives to heal some deeper traumas and wounds and When we experienced that healing we recognized that while we may weren't a great fit from a long-term perspective We are family to one another And why I'm sharing this with you today because it was truly her that helped me open my heart It took another woman Oftentimes we hear men need male role models and that's certainly to from that outer masculine role of being provider protectors, but the emotional Provider protector for us men I believe comes from a woman that opens our heart now I Had to go through some many humbling events and let me Let me lean into this for a second I've gone through many humbling events that got me to a place where I can open up my heart Not everybody experienced this when they have a humbling a man my humbling event was going through the divorce my humbling event Was losing my quarter million dollar job? My humbling event was getting wiped out in the market at 2008 and while I did go down the bandwagon of drugs and alcohol for a while. I Also was able to climb my way out Not every man can do this, but many men can and when I did it took this woman for I'm sharing with you this special lady To really encourage me to lean in with my ex-wife Again, she's coming from a therapist background, but she wasn't coming from a place of negativity She was like encouraging me to be loving and kind and generous and but most of all she was Reminding me to be appreciative and to be grateful She continually reminded me to be appreciative and grateful and what I recognize is for a man to open up his heart It starts with gratitude. It starts with appreciation But it's not just open up his heart for any new relationship It's open up his heart for every relationship and this is why I want to honor my ex my ex You know, I don't even like saying exes say the mother of my children Aaron I am so grateful for you today and I'm grateful for my mom too, but I'm very grateful for you today And I just wanted to say this publicly because I'm gonna post this publicly and my hope and invitation is This might inspire others to do the same. Maybe my words here today might be worth sharing with another guy Might be sharing to your ex-husband or maybe to some other ex out there As I want to encourage all men to lean in and appreciate their ex-spouses, especially if they have children Please send them a thank you because they are doing the Herculean work Because it takes a lot of work for single mothers to do what they did and she did a great job And I think it's so important that we all honor Not just single mothers but honor every woman and honor every man because ultimately when we come from a place of gratitude and appreciation This uplifts everybody and that's my message for everybody today and I miss my son Connor deeply stay salty And I'm grateful for a great for a great mom for myself and a great mother to Connor and to Colin Okay, as I said before I'd like to hear your thoughts. Please post a comment I got a special gift for every or for one lucky person You're gonna be really surprised what you get so please post a comment I'd like to hear your thoughts on this and I If you're new to my channel, please hit the subscribe button where it's at and I'm gonna wrap up this video As I always do giving you a big gigantic gigantic Jonathan bear hug if I have your consent. Oh, thank you Mmm wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now