 a few tea problems. I was gonna write a nice thank you card to someone for something sweet that they did and then I realized that there is no pen in this room which means that there's only a pen, two sets of stairs down but I mean that's really not gonna happen let's get honest I'm just gonna I'm just gonna write them apart another day. Well hello again my beautiful friends welcome back I just got out of a counseling session and I was just gonna say that and leave it at that and then I realized I've said I was you know just about to head into counseling or my counselor's about to come over and like four or five videos it probably sounds like I'm in counseling every day let me show you I'm not I do go to counseling every week though because I I really put a high priority on mental health especially in times of change like this and I've fallen into really unhealthy patterns before in my life and I do not want to do that again and with a big change like amputation I want to make sure that I handle it in a the healthiest way possible and at least identify patterns and that's kind of what today's video is about I've noticed that it's really started to have more of a mental impact on me than I thought and I think that's probably to be expected as I'm kind of coming out of survival mode from you know getting out of surgery and getting back into the swing of life I noticed that things like going out in public is hard harder than I thought it would be and I'm still doing it that doesn't stop me but that doesn't change the fact that I do struggle with it and I need to find ways of adjusting to that and coping with that and previously in my spare time I've been an artist I've loved drawing but I've gotten really really far away from it and I used to journal all the time so today we are going to have a bit of an adventure so first of all practicing you a journal by Elena Brower yeah yeah found this a while ago thought it was beautiful threw it in a cupboard I never thought about it again until today and I thought it might be a good way to start journaling so I'm gonna randomly pick a page and we're gonna do that together what are we doing today oh this looks promising well I think God or the universe kind of picked this page it says how have my heartbreaks helped me find my tribe I mean they're kind of writing prompt in a pretty watercolor fashion and so I'm gonna take some time start journaling see if I can get back in the habit of it and secondly bullet journaling now before you think you were just going crazy with journaling bullet journaling is more like sketching out your life hopefully you can't read any of that because it's probably personal if you can oh well there are so many different ways you can take it but it's a really creative way of expressing yourself it can be you know drawing it can be scheduling it can be whatever it is so I am going to write out the rest of my week with some goals that I know that I can achieve and stick to and also try to practice some creativity which I have not done in a long time and see if maybe these feel like healthy coping skills that I could start using to help me along this new journey that I am on so I finished journaling in these pages and I did want to share something first of all I think I need to start doing this consistently because I definitely do feel less anxious and anxiety is something I feel like I've been like carrying around this mounting ball of anxiety but the writing prompt on this page was how have heartbreaks helped me find my tribe and I've gone through a lot of stuff in my life and something that I have noticed is that when some astronomical life event happens when something severe something traumatic you are able to realize the people who are truly there for you you notice the people who show up the people who say they're going to show up and who don't and the people who just disappear and on the one hand that can be really really painful on the other hand I think there is so much so much of a gift in that because you get to realize the people who are truly there and the people who really love you and I definitely see that played out again this part in my life I used to carry around so much bitterness for people who like left me at crucial moments in my life when I'd gone through so much trauma and needed people but I realized in retrospect that they just weren't equipped to help me um along with some other things but but now as people flock around me I am just filled with so much gratitude and though this is a heartbreak in so many ways it does help me find my tribe it helps me grow my tribe and I don't know I just thought that was something kind of interesting to reflect on all right guys that's my mini rant for today let's move on to bullet journaling something that I would honestly recommend to anyone I don't like regardless of if you're an artist regardless of if you like journaling regardless of if you're type A or type B personality it is really super effective for organizing and super effective for being expressive at the same time which is why I like it so let me come up with some goals for this week daily goals weekly goals maybe I'll think a month ahead we'll see and uh I'll start writing start drawing and see how I feel after that I flipped on this camera and realized the headband I've been looking for all day was around my neck humans today is a new day I did not finish things yesterday as I got a little too tired a little too migrainy and turned off the camera and laid down so I did finish things earlier today though I want to show you the results of my bullet journaling which I have decided will be helpful in coping with life I came up with priorities and then a couple things to do every day I haven't filled out the rest of the pages here but here's what I've got as far as priorities for the next few days weeks months years I want to control anxiety uh definitely in the next couple weeks anyways focus on proper wound healing just mild exercise every day obviously not overdoing it but doing enough to keep blood flowing and um trying to stay recently healthy and then consistent sleep which hey usually take a lot of zequil to be able to rest doesn't work super well right now with pain and medications but at least trying to like trying to like turn off electronics um you know maybe turn on an audiobook which contradicts my former statement and pass out at a reasonable hour at least make a solid effort for it as far as daily things here journal in in the uh uh uh words are hard this thing journal on this every day which I'm about to do today get dressed which I have accomplished today as you will notice by the fact that I am not and never will be undressed on camera and clean in quotes the house I can't really you know vacuum mop declutter the entire house but I can least at least clean the area that I am in so today I straighten things up I fold the blankets and that I slept under today in here I desktop like the shelves and tables and so just doing things to take care of my environment has been helpful so those are the things that I am going to focus on I don't know if anyone else does bullet journaling I am not you know particularly fantastic or creative at it however you don't have to be and that's the cool thing about it it's just for expression it's for organization it's for whatever you want it to be I'm going to put a link in the description to what bullet journaling actually is a good book that describes it a book that I'm hoping to get for Christmas Brian if you're watching this and uh let me know what some things are that you guys like to do to control anxiety or to cope with life and I will continue to update you on things that help me as I continue down this road thanks for sticking around let me know what you think about these guys thanks guys I'll talk to you soon what are you doing today oh I'll take your kisses yep you can't steal my earrings either just wants to take all my things that would that's that's what kids are like right they just take all your things