 CHAPTER XVII. A grotesque tragedy. I had not gone ten paces when I caught sight of a strange-looking object, and went nearer to know what it might be. I found it a mouldering carriage of ancient form, ruinous but still upright on its heavy wheels. On each side of the pole, still in its place, lay the skeleton of a horse. From their two grim white heads ascended the shriveled reins to the hand of the skeleton coachman, seated on his tattered hammer-cloth. Both doors had fallen away. Within sat two skeletons, each leaning back in its corner. Even as I looked they started awake, and with a cracking rattle of bones each leaped from the door next to it. One fell and lay, the other stood a moment, its structure shaking perilously, then with difficulty for its joints were stiff, crept, holding by the back of the carriage to the opposite side, the thin leg bones seeming hardly strong enough to carry its weight, where, kneeling by the other, it sought to raise it, almost falling itself again in the endeavour. The prostrate one rose at length, as by a sudden effort, to the sitting posture. For a few moments it turned its yellowish skull to this side and that, then, heedless of its neighbour, got upon its feet by grasping the spokes of the hind wheel. Half erected thus, it stood with its back to the other, both hands holding one of its knee joints. With little less difficulty and not a few contortions, the kneeling one rose next, and addressed its companion. Have you hurt yourself, my lord? it said, in a voice that sounded far off and ill-articulated, as if blown aside by some spectral wind. Yes, I have, answered the other, in like but rougher tone. You would do nothing to help me, and this cursed knee is out. I did my best, my lord. No doubt, my lady, for it was bad. I thought I should never find my feet again. But bless my soul, madam. Are you out in your bones? She cast a look at herself. I have nothing else to be out in, she returned, and you, at least, cannot complain. But what on earth does it mean? Am I dreaming? You may be dreaming, madam, I cannot tell, but this knee of mine forbids me the grateful illusion. Ha! I too, I perceive, have nothing to walk in but bones. Not so unbecoming to a man, however. I trust to goodness there are not my bones. Everyone aches worse than another, and this loose knee worst of all. That bed must have been damp. And I too, drunk to know it. Probably, my lord of cocaine. What? What? You make me think I too am dreaming. Akes and all. How do you know the title my roistering bullies give me? I don't remember you. Anyhow, you have no right to take liberties. My name is, I am Lord Tatat. What do you call me when I'm, I mean, when you are sober? I cannot, at the very moment. Why, what is my name? I must have been very drunk when I went to bed. I often am. You come so seldom to mine, that I do not know, my lord, but I may take your word for that. I hope so, if for nothing else. Hoity-toity! I never told you a lie in my life. You never told me anything but lies. Upon my honor, why, I never saw the woman before. You knew me well enough to lie to, my lord. I do seem to begin to dream I have met you before. But upon my oath there is nothing to know you by. Out of your clothes, who is to tell who you may not be? One thing I may swear, that I never saw you so much undressed before. By heaven, I have no recollection of you. I am glad to hear it. My recollections of you are the less distasteful. Good morning, my lord. She turned away, hobbled, clacking a few paces, and stood still. You are just as heartless as any other woman, madam. Where in this hell of a place shall I find my valet? What was the cursed name I used to call the fool? He turned his bare noddle this way and that on its creaking pivot, still holding his knee with both hands. I will be your valet for once, my lord, said the lady, turning once more to him. What can I do for you? It is not easy to tell. Tie my leg on, of course, you fool. Can't you see it is all but off? Hey, oh, my dancing days! She looked about with her eyeless sockets and found a piece of fibrous grass, with which she proceeded to bind together the adjoining parts that had formed the knee. When she had done, he gave one or two carefully tentative stamps. He used to stamp rather differently, my lord, she said, as she rose from her knees. Eh, what? Now I look at you again. It seems to me I used to hate you. Eh? Naturally, my lord, you hated a good many people. Your wife, of course, among the rest. Ah, I begin. I begin. But I must have been a long time somewhere. I really forget. There. Your damned miserable bit of grass is breaking. We used to get on pretty well together, eh? Not that I remember, my lord. The only happy moments I had in your company were scattered over the first week of our marriage. Was that the way of it? Well, it's over now, thank goodness. I wish I could believe it. Why were we sitting there in that carriage together? It wakes apprehension. I think we were divorced, my lady. Hardly enough. We are still together. A sad truth, but capable of remedy. The forest seems of some extent. I doubt. I doubt. I am sorry I cannot think of a compliment to pay you, without lying, that is. To judge by your figure and complexion, you have lived hard since I saw you last. I cannot surely be quite so naked as your ladyship. I beg your pardon, madam. I trust you will take it. I am budgesting in a dream. It is of no consequence, however. Dreaming or waking, all's one. All mirrored appearance. You can't be certain of anything, and that's as good as knowing there is nothing. Life may teach any fool that. It has taught me the fool I was to love you. You were not the only fool to do that. Women had a trick of falling in love with me. I'd forgotten that you were one of them. I did love you, my lord. A little. At one time. Ah, there was your mistake, my lady. You should have loved me much. Loved me devotedly. Loved me savagely. Loved me eternally. Then I should have tired of you the sooner, and not hated you so much afterward. But let bygones be bygones. Where are we? Locality is the question. To be or not to be is not the question. We are in the other world, I presume. Granted, but in which or what sort of other world? This can't be hell. It must. There's marriage in it. You and I are damned in each other. Then I'm not like Othello, damned in a fair wife. Oh, I remember my Shakespeare, madam. She picked up a broken branch that had fallen into a bush, and, steadying herself with it, walked away, tossing her little skull. Give that stick to me, cried her late husband. I wanted more than you. She returned him no answer. You mean to make me beg for it? Not at all, my lord. I mean to keep it, she replied, continuing her slow departure. Give it me at once. I mean to have it. I require it. Unfortunately, I think I require it myself, returned the lady, walking a little quicker, with a sharper cracking of her joints and clinking of her bones. He started to follow her, but nearly fell. His knee-grass had burst, and with an oath he stopped, grasping his leg again. Come and tie it up properly! He would have thundered, but he only piped and whistled. She turned and looked at him. Come and tie it up instantly! he repeated. She walked a step or two farther from him. I swear I will not touch you! he cried. Swear on, my lord. There is no one here to believe you, but pray, do not lose your temper, or you will shake yourself to pieces. And where to find string enough to tie up all your crazy joints is more than I can tell. She came back and knelt once more at his side. First, however, laying the stick in dispute beyond his reach and within her own. The instant she had finished retying the joint he made a grab at her, thinking apparently to seize her by the hair, but his hard fingers slipped on the smooth pole. Disgusting, he muttered, and laid hold of her upper arm-bone. You will break it, she said, looking up from her knees. I will, then, he answered, and began to strain at it. I shall not tie your leg again the next time it comes loose, she threatened. He gave her arm a vicious twist, but happily her bones were in better condition than his. She stretched her other hand toward the broken branch. That's right! reach me the stick, he grinned. She brought it round with such a swing that one of the bones of the sounder leg snapped. He fell, choking with curses. The lady laughed. Now you'll have to wear splints always, she said, such dry bones never mend. You devil, he cried! At your service, my lord! Shall I fetch you a couple of wheel-spokes? Neat but heavy, I fear. He turned his bone face aside and did not answer, but lay and groaned. I marveled he had not gone to pieces when he fell. The lady rose and walked away, not all ungracefully, I thought. What can come of it, I said to myself? These are too wretched for any world, and this cannot be hell, for the little ones are in it, and the sleepers too. What can it all mean? Can things ever come right for skeletons? There are words too big for you and me. All is one of them, and ever is another, said a voice near me which I knew. I looked about, but could not see the speaker. You are not in hell, it resumed. Neither am I in hell, but those skeletons are in hell. ere he ended I caught sight of the raven on the bow of a beach, right over my head. The same moment he left it and the lighting on the ground stood there, the thin old man of the library, with long nose and long coat. The male was never a gentleman, he went on, and in the bony stage of retrogression, with his skeleton through his skin and his character outside his manners, does not look like one. The female is less vulgar and had a little heart, but the restraints of society removed, you see them now just as they are, and always were. Tell me, Mr. Raven, what will become of them, I said. We shall see, he replied. In their day they were the handsomest couple at court, and now, even in their dry bones, they seemed to regard their former repute as an inalienable possession. To see their faces, however, may yet do something for them. They felt themselves rich, too, while they had pockets, but they have already begun to feel rather pinched. My lord used to regard my lady as a worthless encumbrance, for he was tired of her beauty and had spent her money, now he needs her to cobble his joints for him. These changes have roots of hope in them. Besides, they cannot now get far away from each other, and they see none else of their own kind. They must at last grow weary of their mutual repugnance, and begin to love one another. For love, not hate, is deepest in what love loved into being. I saw many more of their kind an hour ago, in the hall close by, I said. Of their kind, but not of their sort, he answered. For many years these will see none such as you saw last night. Those are centuries in advance of these. You saw that those could even dress themselves a little. It is true they cannot yet retain their clothes so long as they would. Only at present, for a part of the night, but they are pretty steadily growing more capable, and will by and by develop faces, for every grain of truthfulness adds a fiber to the show of their humanity. Nothing but truth can appear, and whatever is, must seem. Are they upheld by this hope, I asked? They are upheld by hope, but they do not in the least know their hope. To understand it is yet immeasurably beyond them, answered Mr. Raven. His unexpected appearance had caused me no astonishment. I was like a child, constantly wondering and surprised at nothing. Did you come to find me, sir? I asked. Not at all, he replied. I have no anxiety about you, such as you always come back to us. Tell me, please, who am I such as? I said. I cannot make my friend the subject of conversation, he answered with a smile. Now, but when that friend is present, I urged. I declined the more strongly, he rejoined. But when that friend asks you, I persisted. Then most positively I refuse, he returned. Why? Because he and I would be talking of two persons as if they were one and the same. Your consciousness of yourself and my knowledge of you are far apart. The lapels of his coat flew out, and the lapettes lifted, and I thought the metamorphosis of Homo to Corvus was about to take place before my eyes. But the coat closed again in front of him, and he added, with seeming inconsequence, In this world never trust a person who has once deceived you. Above all, never do anything such a one may ask you to do. I will try to remember, I answered, but I may forget. Then some evil that is good for you will follow. And if I remember, some evil that is not good for you will not follow. The old man seemed to sink to the ground, and immediately I saw the raven, several yards from me, flying low and fast. End of Chapter 17. Recording by Pete Williams. I went walking on, still facing the moon, who, not yet high, was staring straight into the forest. I did not know what ailed her, but she was dark and dented, like a battered disk of old copper, and looked dispirited and weary. Not a cloud was nigh to keep her company, and the stars were too bright for her. Is this going to last forever, she seemed to say? She was going one way, and I was going the other, yet through the wood we went a long way together. We did not commune much, for my eyes were on the ground, but her disconsolate look was fixed on me, I felt without seeing it. A long time we were together, I and the moon, walking side by side. She, the dull shine, and I, the live shadow. Something on the ground, under a spreading tree, caught my eye with its whiteness, and I turned toward it. Vague as it was in the shadow of the foliage, it suggested, as I drew nearer, a human body. Another skeleton, I said to myself, kneeling and laying my hand upon it. A body it was, however, and no skeleton, though as nearly one as body could well be. It lay on its side, and was very cold. Not cold like a stone, but cold like that which was once alive, and is alive no more. The closer I looked at it, the oftener I touched it, the less it seemed possible it should be other than dead. For one bewildered moment I fancied it one of the wild dancers, a ghostly Cinderella perhaps that had lost her way home, and perished in the strange night of an out-of-door world. It was quite naked, and so warm that, even in the shadow, I could, peering close, have counted without touching them, every rib in its side. All its bones, indeed, were as visible as if tight-covered with only a thin elastic leather. Its beautiful yet terrible teeth, unseemly disclosed by the retracted lips, gleamed ghastly through the dark. Its hair was longer than itself, thick and very fine to the touch, and black as night. It was the body of a tall, probably graceful woman. How had she come there? Not of herself, and already in such wasted condition, surely. Her strength must have failed her, she had fallen, and lain there until she died of hunger. But how, even so, could she be thus emaciated, and how came she to be naked? Where were the savages to strip and leave her, or what wild beasts would have taken her garments? That her body should have been left was not wonderful. I rose to my feet, stood, and considered. I must not, could not, let her lie exposed and forsaken. Natural reverence forbade it. Even the garment of a woman claims respect, her body it were impossible to leave uncovered. Irreverent eyes might look on it. Brutal claws might toss it about. Years would pass ere the friendly rains wash it into the soil. But the ground was hard, almost solid with interlacing roots, and I had but my bare hands. At first it seemed plain that she had not long been dead. There was not a sign of decay about her. But then what had the slow wasting of life left of her to decay? Could she be still alive? Might she not? What if she were? Things went very strangely in this strange world. Even then there would be little chance of bringing her back, but I must know she was dead before I buried her. As I left the forest-hall, I had spied in the doorway a bunch of ripe grapes, and brought it with me, eating as I came. A few were yet left on the stalk and their juice might possibly revive her. Anyhow it was all I had with which to attempt her rescue. The mouth was happily a little open, but the head was in such an awkward position that, to move the body, I passed my arm under the shoulder on which it lay. When I found the pine needles beneath it, warm, she could not have been any time dead and might still be alive, though I could discern no motion of the heart or any indication that she breathed. One of her hands was clenched hard, apparently enclosing something small. I squeezed a grape into her mouth, but no swallowing followed. To do for her all I could I spread a thick layer of pine needles and dry leaves, laid one of my garments over it, warm from my body, lifted her upon it and covered her with my clothes and a great heap of leaves. I would save the little warmth left in her, hoping an increase to it when the sun came back. Then I tried another grape, but could perceive no slightest movement of mouth or throat. Doubt, I said to myself, may be a poor encouragement to do anything, but it is a bad reason for doing nothing. So tight was the skin upon her bones that I dared not use friction. I crept into the heap of leaves, got as close to her as I could, and took her in my arms. I had not much heat left in me, but what I had I would share with her. Thus I spent what remained of the night, sleepless and longing for the sun. Her cold seemed to radiate into me, but no heat to pass from me to her. Had I fled from the beautiful sleepers, I thought, each on her dim, straight silver couch, to lie alone with such a bedfellow. I had refused a lovely privilege. I was given over to an awful duty. Beneath the sad, slow-setting moon I lay with the dead and watched for the dawn. The darkness had given way, and the eastern horizon was growing dimly clearer, when I caught sight of emotion, rather than of anything that moved, not far from me, and close to the ground. It was the low undulating of a large snake, which passed me in an unswerving line. Presently appeared, making as it seemed for the same point, what I took for a roebuck doe and her calf. Again a while and two creatures like bear cubs came, with three or four smaller ones behind them. The light was now growing so rapidly that when a few minutes after a troop of horses went trotting past, I could see that, although the largest of them were no bigger than the smallest Shetland pony, they must yet be full-grown, so perfect were they in form, and so much had they all the ways and actions of great horses. They were of many breeds. Some seemed models of cart-horses, others of chargers, hunters, racers. Dwarf cattle and small elephants followed. Why are the children not here? I said to myself. The moment I am free of this poor woman, I must go back and fetch them. Where were the creatures going? What drew them? Was this an exodus or a mourning habit? I must wait for the sun. Till he came I must not leave the woman. I laid my hand on the body and could not help thinking it felt a trifle warmer. It might have gained a little of the heat I had lost. It could hardly have generated any. What reason for hope there was had not grown less. The forehead of the day began to glow, and soon the sun came peering up, as if to see for the first time what all this stirrer of a new world was about. At sight of his great innocent splendor I rose full of life, strong against death. Removing the handkerchief I had put to protect the mouth and eyes from the pine needles, I looked anxiously to see whether I had found a priceless jewel or but its empty case. The body lay motionless as when I found it. Then first, in the morning light, I saw how drawn and hollow was the face, how sharp were the bones under the skin, how every tooth shaped itself through the lips. The human garment was indeed worn to its threads, but the bird of heaven might yet be nestling within, might yet awake to motion and song. But the sun was shining on her face. I rearranged the handkerchief, laid a few leaves lightly over it and set about to follow the creatures. Their main track was well beaten and must have long been used, likewise many of the tracks that, joining it from both sides, merged in and broadened it. The trees retreated as I went, and the grass grew thicker. Presently the forest was gone, and a wide expanse of loveliest green stretched away to the horizon. Through it, along the edge of the forest, flowed a small river, and to this the track led. At sight of the water, a new though undefined hope sprang up in me. The stream looked everywhere deep and was full to the brim, but nowhere more than a few yards wide. A bluish mist rose from it, vanishing as it rose. On the opposite side, in the plentiful grass, many small animals were feeding. Apparently they slept in the forest and in the morning sought the plain, swimming the river to reach it. I knelt and would have drunk, but the water was hot and had a strange metallic taste. I leapt to my feet. Here was the warmth I sought, the first necessity of life. I sped back to my helpless charge. Without well considering my solitude, no one will understand what seemed to lie for me in the redemption of this woman from death. Prove what she may, I thought with myself, I shall at least be lonely no more. I had found myself such poor company that, now first, I seemed to know what hope was. This blessed water would expel the cold death and drown my desolation. I bore her to the stream. Tall as she was, I found her marvelously light. Her bones were so delicate and so little covered them. I grew yet more hopeful when I found her so far from stiff that I could carry her on one arm, like a sleeping child leaning against my shoulder. I went softly, dreading even the wind of my motion, and glad there was no other. The water was too hot to lay her at once in it. The shock might scare from her the yet fluttering life. I laid her on the bank, and dipping one of my garments began to bathe in the pitiful form. So wasted was it that, save from the plentifulness and blackness of the hair, it was impossible even to conjecture whether she was young or old. Her eyelids were just not shut, which made her look dead the more. There was a crack in the clouds of her night, at which no sun shone through. The longer I went on bathing the poor bones, the less grew my hope that they would ever again be clothed with strength, that ever those eyelids would lift, and a soul look out. Still, I kept bathing continuously, allowing no part time to grow cold. While I bathed another, and gradually the body became so much warmer that, at last, I ventured to submerge it. I got into the stream and drew it in, holding the face above the water, and letting the swift, steady current flow all about the rest. I noted, but was able to conclude nothing from the fact, that, for all the heat, the shut hand never relaxed its hold. After about ten minutes, I lifted it out and laid it again on the bank, dried it, and covered it as well as I could, then ran to the forest for leaves. The grass and soil were dry and warm, and when I returned I thought it had scarcely lost any of the heat the water had given it. I spread the leaves upon it, and ran for more, then for a third, and a fourth freight. I could now leave it and go to explore, in the hope of discovering some shelter. I ran up the stream towards some rocky hills I saw in that direction, which were not far off. When I reached them I found the river issuing full groan from a rock at the bottom of one of them. To my fancy it seemed to have run down a stair inside, an eager cataract, at every landing wild to get out, but only at the foot finding a door of escape. It did not fill the opening once it rushed, and I crept through into a little cave, where I learned that, instead of hurrying to multilessly down a stair, it rose quietly from the ground at the back, like the base of a large column, and ran along one side, nearly filling a deep rather narrow channel. I considered the place and saw that, if I could find a few fallen boughs long enough to lie across the channel, and large enough to bear a little weight without bending much, I might, with smaller branches and plenty of leaves, make upon them a comfortable couch, which the stream, under, would keep constantly warm. Then I ran back to see how my charge fared. She was lying as I had left her, the heat had not brought her to life, but neither had it developed anything to check farther hope. I got a few boulders out of the channel and arranged them at her feet, and on both sides of her. Running again to the wood I had not to search long ere I found some small boughs fit for my purpose, mostly of beech, their dry yellow leaves yet clinging to them. With these I had soon laid the floor of a bridge bed over the torrent. I crossed the boughs with smaller branches, interlaced these with twigs, and buried all deep in leaves and dry moss. When thus at length, after not a few journeys to the forest, I had completed a warm, dry, soft couch, I took the body once more, and set out with it for the cave. It was so light that now and then as I went I almost feared lest when I laid it down I should find it a skeleton after all, and when at last I did lay it gently on the pathless bridge it was a greater relief to part with that fancy than with the weight. Once more I covered the body with a thick layer of leaves, and, trying again to feed her with a grape, found to my joy that I could open the mouth a little farther. The grape, indeed, lay in it unheeded, but I hoped some of the juice might find its way down. After an hour or two on the couch she was no longer cold. The warmth of the brook had interpenetrated her frame, truly it was but a frame, and she was warm to the touch, not probably with the warmth of life, but with a warmth which rendered it more possible, if she were alive, that she might live. I had read of one in a trance lying motionless for weeks. In that cave, day after day, night after night, seven long days and nights, I sat or lay, now waking, now sleeping, but always watching. Every morning I went out and bathed in the hot stream, and every morning felt thereupon as if I had eaten and drunk, which experience gave me courage to lay her in it also every day. Once, as I did so, a shadow of discoloration on her left side gave me a terrible shock, but the next morning it had vanished, and I continued the treatment every morning after her bath, putting a fresh grape in her mouth. I, too, ate of the grapes and other berries I found in the forest, but I believed that with my daily bath in that river I could have done very well without eating at all. Every time I slept I dreamed of finding a wounded angel who, unable to fly, remained with me until at last she loved me and would not leave me, and every time I woke it was to see, instead of an angel-visage with lustrous eyes, the white, motionless, wasted face upon the couch. But Adam himself, when first he saw her asleep, could not have looked more anxiously for Eve's awaking than I watched for this woman's. Adam knew nothing of himself, perhaps nothing of his need of another self. I, an alien from my fellows, had learned to love what I had lost. Were this one wasted shred of womanhood to disappear, I should have nothing in me but a consuming hunger after life. I forgot even the little ones. Things were not a miss with them. Here lay what might wake and be a woman. Might actually open eyes and look out of them upon me. Now, first, I knew what solitude meant. Now that I gazed on one who neither saw nor heard, neither moved nor spoke. I saw now that a man alone is but a being that may become a man, that he is but a need, and therefore a possibility. To be enough for himself, a being must be an eternal, self-existent worm. So superbly constituted, so simply complicate is man, he rises from and stands upon such a pedestal of lower physical organisms and spiritual structures, that no atmosphere will comfort or nourish his life, less divine than that offered by other souls. Nowhere but in other lives can he breathe. Only by the reflex of other lives can he ripen his specialty, develop the idea of himself, the individuality that distinguishes him from every other. We're all men alike. Each would still have an individuality, secured by his personal consciousness, but there would be small reason why there should be more than two or three such. While for the development of the differences which make a large and lofty unity possible, and which alone can make millions into a church, an endless and measureless influence and reaction are indispensable. A man to be perfect, complete, that is, in having reached the spiritual condition of persistent and universal growth, which is the mode wherein he inherits the infinitude of his father, must have the education of a world of fellow men. Save for the hope of the dawn of life in the form beside me, I should have fled for fellowship to the beasts that grazed and did not speak. Better to go about with them, infinitely better, than to live alone. But with the faintest prospect of a woman to my friend, I, poorest of creatures, was yet a possible man. CHAPTER 19 THE WHITE LEACH I woke one morning from a profound sleep with one of my hands very painful. The back of it was much swollen, and in the center of the swelling was a triangular wound, like the bite of a leech. As the day went on, the swelling subsided, and by the evening the hurt was all but healed. I searched the cave, turning over every stone of any size but discovered nothing I could imagine capable of injuring me. Slowly the days passed, and still the body never moved, never opened its eyes. It could not be dead, for assuredly it manifested no sign of decay, and the air about it was quite pure. Moreover I could imagine that the sharpest angles of the bones had begun to disappear, that the form was everywhere a little rounder, and the skin had less of the parchment look. If such change was indeed there, life must be there. The tide which had ebbed so far toward the infinite must have begun again to flow. Oh joy to me if the rising ripple of life's ocean were indeed burying under lovely shape the bones it had all but forsaken. Twenty times a day I looked for evidence of progress, and twenty times a day I doubted, sometimes even despaired, but the moment I recalled the mental picture of her as I found her, hope revived. Several weeks had passed thus when one night, after lying a long time awake, I rose, thinking to go out and breathe the cooler air, for although from the running of the stream it was always fresh in the cave, the heat was not seldom a little oppressive. The moon outside was full, the air within shadowy clear, and naturally I cast a lingering look on my treasure ere I went. Bliss eternal, I cried aloud, do I see her eyes? Great orbs, dark as if cut from the sphere of a starless night, and luminous by excess of darkness, seemed to shine amid the glimmering whiteness of her face. I stole nearer, my heart beating so that I feared the noise of it startling her. I bent over her, alas her eyelids were closed shut, hope and imagination had wrought mutual illusion. My heart's desire would never be. I turned away, threw myself on the floor of the cave, and wept. Then I bethought me that her eyes had been a little open, and that now the awful chink out of which nothingness had peered was gone. It might be that she had opened them for a moment, and was again asleep. It might be she was awake and holding them close. In either case, life, less or more, must have shoved them. I was comforted, and fell fast to sleep. That night I was again bitten, and awoke with a burning thirst. In the morning I searched yet more thoroughly, but again in vain. The wound was of the same character, and as before was nearly well by the evening. I concluded that some large creature of the leech kind came occasionally from the hot stream. But if blood be its object, I said to myself, so long as I am there, I need hardly fear from my treasure. That same morning, when, having peeled the grape as usual and taken away the seeds, I put it in her mouth, her lips made a slight movement of reception, and I knew she lived. My hope was now so much stronger that I began to think of some attire for her. She must be able to rise the moment she wished. I betook myself, therefore, to the forest, to investigate what material it might afford, and had hardly begun to look when fibrous skeletons, like those of the leaves of the prickly pear, suggested themselves as fit for the purpose. I gathered a stalk of them, laid them to dry in the sun, pulled apart the reticulated layers, and of these had soon begun to fashion two loose garments, one to hang from her waist, the other from her shoulders. With the stiletto point of an aloe leaf and various filaments, I sewed together three thicknesses of the tissue. During the week that followed, there was no farther sign except that she more evidently took the grapes. But indeed all the signs became sureer. Plainly she was growing plumper, and her skin fairer. Still she did not open her eyes, and the horrid fear would at times invade me, that her growth was of some hideous, fungoid nature, the few grapes being no-wise sufficient to account for it. Again I was bitten, and now the thing, whatever it was, began to pay me regular visits at intervals of three days. It now generally bit me in the neck, or the arm, invariably with but one bite, always while I slept, and never, even when I slept, in the daytime. Hour after hour would I lie awake on the watch, but never heard it coming, or saw sign of its approach. Neither, I believe, did I ever feel it bite me. At length I became so hopeless of catching it that I no longer troubled myself either to look for it by day, or lie and wait for it at night. I knew from my growing weakness that I was losing blood at a dangerous rate, but I cared little for that. In sight of my eyes, death was yielding to life. A soul was gathering strength to save me from loneliness. We would go away together, and I should speedily recover. The garments were at length finished, and contemplating my handiwork with no small satisfaction, I proceeded to mat layers of the fiber into sandals. One night I woke suddenly, breathless and faint, and longing after air, and had risen to crawl from the cave, when a slight rustle in the leaves of the couch set me listening motionless. I caught the vile thing, said a feeble voice in my mother tongue. I caught it in the very act. She was alive. She spoke. I dared not yield to my transport, lest I should terrify her. What creature, I breathed rather than said. The creature, she answered. That was biting you. What was it? A great white leech. How big I pursued, forcing myself to be calm. Not far from six feet long, I should think, she answered. You have saved my life, perhaps, but how could you touch the horrid thing, how brave of you, I cried. I did, was all her answer, and I thought she shuddered. Where is it? What could you do with such a monster? I threw it in the river. Then it will come again, I fear. I do not think I could have killed it, even had I known how. I heard you moaning, and got up to see what disturbed you, saw the frightful thing at your neck, and pulled it away. But I could not hold it, and was hardly able to throw it from me. I only heard it splash in the water. We'll kill it next time, I said, but with that I turned faint, sought the open air. But fell. When I came to myself the sun was up. The lady stood a little way off, looking, even in the clumsy attire I had fashioned for her, at once grand and graceful. I had seen those glorious eyes. Through the night they had shown, dark as the darkness primeval, they now outshone the day. She stood erect as a column, regarding me. Her pale cheek indicated no emotion, only question. I rose. We must be going, I said, the white leech. I stopped. A strange smile had flickered over her beautiful face. Did you find me there, she asked, pointing to the cave? No, I brought you there, I replied. You brought me? Yes. From where? From the forest. What have you done with my clothes and my jewels? You had none when I found you. Then why did you not leave me? Because I hoped you were not dead. Why should you have cared? Because I was very lonely and wanted you to live. You would have kept me enchanted for my beauty, she said with proud scorn. Her words and her look roused my indignation. There was no beauty left in you, I said. Why then, again, did you not let me alone? Because you were of my kind. Of your kind, she cried in a tone of utter contempt. I thought so, but find I was mistaken. Doubtless you pitied me. Never had woman more claim on pity, or less on any other feeling. With an expression of pain, mortification, and anger unutterable, she turned from me and stood silent. Starless night lay profound in the gulfs of her eyes. Hate of him who brought it back had slain their splendor. The light of life was gone from them. Had you failed to rouse me, what would you have done? She asked suddenly, without moving. I would have buried it. It? What? You would have buried this, she exclaimed, flashing round upon me in a white fury, her arms thrown out, and her eyes darting forks of cold lightning. Nay, that I saw not. That weary weeks of watching and tending have brought back to you, I answered, for with such a woman I must be plain. Had I seen the smallest sign of decay I would at once have buried you. Dog of a fool, she cried, I was but in a trance. Samoil, what a fate! Go and fetch the she-savage from whom you borrowed this hideous disguise. I made it for you. It is hideous, but I did my best. She drew herself up to her tall height. How long have I been insensible, she demanded. A woman could not have made that dress in a day. Not in twenty days, I rejoined, hardly in thirty. Ha! How long do you pretend I have lain unconscious? Answer me at once. I cannot tell how long you had lain when I found you, but there was nothing left of you save skin and bone. That is more than three months ago. Your hair was beautiful, nothing else. I have done for it what I could. My poor hair, she said, and brought a great armful of it round from behind her. It will be more than a three-months care to bring you to life again. I suppose I must thank you, although I cannot say I am grateful. There is no need, madam. I would have done the same for any woman, yes, or for any man, either. How is it my hair is not tangled, she said, fondling it? It always drifted in the current. How? What do you mean? I could not have brought you to life but by bathing you in the hot river every morning. She gave a shudder of disgust and stood for a while with her gaze fixed on the hurrying water. Then she turned to me. We must understand each other, she said. You have done me the two worst of wrongs, compelled me to live, and put me to shame. Neither of them can I pardon. She raised her left hand and flung it out as if repelling me. Something ice-cold struck me on the forehead. When I came to myself, I was on the ground, wet and shivering. End of chapter 19, recording by Pete Williams-Pittsburgh, P.A. Chapter 20 of Lilith This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Pete Williams Lilith by George MacDonald Chapter 20 Gone. But how? I rose and looked around me, dazed at heart. For a moment I could not see her, and I could not see her. For a moment I could not see her, she was gone, and loneliness had returned like the cloud after the rain. She whom I brought back from the brink of the grave had fled from me, and left me with desolation. I dared not one moment remain thus hideously alone. Had I indeed done her a wrong? I must devote my life to sharing the burden I had compelled her to resume. I described her walking swiftly over the grass, away from the river. Took one plunge for a farewell restorative, and set out to follow her. The last visit of the white leech and the blow of the woman had enfeebled me, but already my strength was reviving, and I kept her in sight without difficulty. Is this, then, the end? I said as I went, and my heart brooded a sad song. Her angry, hating eyes haunted me. I could understand her resentment at my having forced life upon her, but how had I further injured her? Why should she loathe me? Could modesty itself be indignant with true service? How should the proudest woman, conscious of my every action, cherish against me the least sense of disgracing wrong? How reverently had I not touched her? As a father, his motherless child, I had borne and tended her. Had all my labor, all my despairing hope gone to redeem only in gratitude? No, I answered myself, beauty must have a heart. However profoundly hidden, it must be there. The deeper buried, the stronger and truer will it wake at last in its beautiful grave. To rouse that heart were a better gift to her than the happiest life. It would be to give her a nobler, a higher life. She was ascending a gentle slope before me, walking straight and steady as one that knew wither, when I became aware that she was increasing the distance between us. I summoned my strength, and it came in full tide. My veins filled with fresh life, my body seemed to become ethereal, and, following like an easy wind, I rapidly overtook her. Not once had she looked behind. Swiftly she moved like a Greek goddess to rescue, but without haste. I was within three yards of her when she turned sharply, yet with grace unbroken, and stood. Fatigue or heat she showed none. Her paleness was not a pallor, but a pure whiteness. Her breathing was slow and deep. Her eyes seemed to fill the heavens, and give light to the world. It was nearly noon, but the sense was upon me as of a great night in which an invisible dew makes the stars look large. Why do you follow me? she asked, quietly but rather sternly, as if she had never before seen me. I have lived so long, I answered, on the mere hope of your eyes, that I must want to see them again. You will not be spared, she said coldly. I command you to stop where you stand. Not until I see you in a place of safety will I leave you, I replied. Then take the consequences, she said, and resumed her swift gliding walk. But as she turned she cast on me a glance, and I stood as if run through with a spear her scorn had failed. She would kill me with her beauty. Despair restored my volition. The spell broke, I ran, and overtook her. Have pity upon me, I cried. She gave no heed. I followed her like a child whose mother pretends to abandon him. I will be your slave, I said, and laid my hand on her arm. She turned as if a serpent had bit her. I cowered before the blaze of her eyes, but could not avert my own. Pity me, I cried again. She resumed her walking. The whole day I followed her, the sun climbed the sky, seemed to pause on its summit, went down the other side. Not a moment did she pause, not a moment did I cease to follow. She never turned her head, never relaxed her pace. The sun went below, and the night came up. I kept close to her. If I lost sight of her for a moment, it would be forever. All day long we had been walking over thick, soft grass. Abruptly she stopped and threw herself upon it. There was yet light enough to show that she was utterly weary. I stood behind her and gazed down on her for a moment. Did I love her? I knew she was not good. Did I hate her? I could not leave her. I knelt beside her. Be gone! Do not dare touch me, she cried. Her arms lay on the grass by her sides as if paralyzed. Suddenly they closed about my neck, rigid as those of the torture maiden. She drew down my face to hers and her lips clung to my cheek. A sting of pain shot somewhere through me and pulsed. I could not stir a hair's breath. Gradually the pain ceased. A slumberous weariness, a dreamy pleasure stole over me. And then I knew nothing. All at once I came to myself. The moon was a little way above the horizon, but spread no radiance. She was but a bright thing, said in blackness. My cheek smarted. I put my hand to it and found a wet spot. My neck ached. There again was a wet spot. I sighed heavily and felt very tired. I turned my eyes listlessly around me and saw what had become of the light of the moon. It was gathered about the lady. She stood in a shimmering nimbus. I rose and staggered toward her. Down she cried imperiously as to a rebellious dog. Follow me a step, if you dare. I will, I murmured, with an agonized effort. Set foot within the gates of my city and my people will stone you. They do not love beggars. I was deaf to her words. Weak as water and half awake. I did not know that I moved, but the distance grew less between us. She took one step back, raised her left arm, and with the clenched hand seemed to strike me on the forehead. I received, as it were, a blow from an iron hammer. And fell. I sprang to my feet cold and wet, but clear-headed and strong. Had the blow revived me? It had left neither wound nor pain, but how came I wet? I could not have lain long, for the moon was no higher. The lady stood some yards away, her back toured me. She was doing something. I could not distinguish what. Then by her sudden gleam I knew she had thrown off her garments, and stood white in the dazed moon. One moment she stood, and fell forward. A streak of white shot away in a swift-drawn line. The same instant the moon recovered herself, shining out with a full flash, and I saw that the streak was a long-bodied thing, rushing in great low-curved bounds over the grass. Dark spots seemed to run like a stream, a down its back, as if it had been fleeting along under the edge of a wood and catching the shadows of the leaves. God of mercy, I cried, is the terrible creature speeding to the night-infolded city, and I seemed to hear from afar the sudden burst and spread of out-crying terror, as the pale savage bounded from house to house, rending and slaying. While I gazed after it fear-stricken, passed me from behind like a swift, all but noiseless arrow shot a second large creature, pure white. Its path was straight for the spot where the lady had fallen, and, as I thought, lay. My tongue claved to the roof of my mouth I sprang forward pursuing the beast, but in a moment the spot I made for was far behind it. It was well, I thought, that I could not cry out, if she had risen the monster would have been upon her. But when I reached the place, no lady was there, only the garments she had dropped lay dusk in the moonlight. I stood staring after the second beast. It tore over the ground with yet greater swiftness than the former, in long, level, skimming leaps, the very embodiment of wasteless speed. It followed the line the other had taken, and I watched it grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared in the uncertain distance. But where was the lady? Had the first beast surprised her creeping upon her noiselessly? I had heard no shriek, and there had not been time to devour her. Could it have caught her up as it ran and borne her away to its den? So laden it could not have run so fast, and I should have seen that it carried something. Horrible doubts began to wake in me. After a thorough but fruitless search, I set out in the track of the two animals. THE FUJITIVE MOTHER As I hastened along, a cloud came over the moon, and from the grey dark suddenly emerged a white figure, clasping a child to her bosom and stooping as she ran. She was on a line parallel with my own, but did not perceive me as she hurried along, terror and anxiety in every movement of her driven speed. She is chaste, I said to myself, some prowler of this terrible night is after her. To follow would have added to her fright. I stepped into her track to stop her pursuer. As I stood for a moment, looking after her through the dusk, behind me came a swift, soft-footed rush, and ere I could turn, something sprang over my head, struck me sharply on the forehead, and knocked me down. I was up in an instant, but all I saw of my assailant was a vanishing whiteness. I ran after the beast, with the blood trickling from my forehead, but had run only a few steps when a shriek of despair tore the quivering night. I ran the faster, though I could not but fear it must already be too late. In a minute or two I spied a low white shape approaching me through the vapor-dusted moonlight. It must be another beast, I thought at first, for it came slowly, almost crawling, with strange, floundering leaps, as of a creature in agony. I drew aside from its path, and waited. As it neared me, I saw it was going on three legs, carrying its left forepaw high from the ground. It had many dark oval spots on a shining white skin, and was attended by a low rushing sound, as of water falling upon grass. As it went by me, I saw something streaming from the lifted paw. It is blood, I said to myself, some reddier champion than I has wounded the beast. But strange to tell, such a pity seized me at sight of the suffering creature that, though an axe had been in my hand, I could not have struck at it. In a broken succession of hobbling leaps it went out of sight, its blood, as it seemed, still issuing in a small torrent, which kept flowing back softly through the grass beside me. If it go on bleeding like that, I thought, it will soon be hurtless. I went on, for I might yet be useful to the woman, and hoped also to see her deliverer. I described her a little way off, seated on the grass, with her child in her lap. Can I do anything for you? I asked. At the sound of my voice she started violently and would have risen. I threw myself on the ground. You need not be frightened, I said. I was following the beast when happily you found a nearer protector. It passed me now, with its foot bleeding so much that by this time it must be all but dead. There is little hope of that, she answered trembling. Do you not know whose beast she is? Now I had certain strange suspicions, but I answered that I knew nothing of the brute and asked what had become of her champion. What champion, she rejoined. I have seen no one. Then how came the monster to grief? I pounded her foot with a stone, as hard as I could strike. Did you not hear her cry? Well, you are a brave woman, I answered. I thought it was you gave the cry. It was the Leopardess. I never heard such a sound from the throat of an animal. It was like the scream of a woman in torture. My voice was gone. I could not have shrieked to save my baby. When I saw the horrid mouth at my darling's little white neck, I caught up a stone and mashed her lame foot. Tell me about the creature, I said. I am a stranger in these parts. You will soon know about her if you are going to Bulica, she answered. Now I must never go back there. Yes, I am going to Bulica, I said, to see the princess. Have a care. You had better not go. But perhaps you are. The princess is a very good kind woman. I heard a little movement. Clouds had by this time gathered so thick over the moon that I could scarcely see my companion. I feared she was rising to run from me. You are in no danger of any sort from me, I said. What oath would you like me to take? I know from your speech that you are not of the people of Bulica, she replied. I will trust you. I am not of them either, else I should not be able. They never trust anyone. If only I could see you, but I like your voice. There my darling is asleep. The foul beast has not hurt her. Yes, it was my baby she was after, she went on caressing the child. And then she would have torn her mother to pieces for carrying her off. Some say the princess has two white leopardesses, she continued. I know only one, with spots. Everybody knows her. If the princess hear of a baby, she sends her immediately to suck its blood, and then it either dies or grows up an idiot. I would have gone away with my baby, but the princess was from home, and I thought I might wait until I was a little stronger. But she must have taken the beast with her, and then on her way home when I left and come across my track. I heard the sniff snuff of the leopardess behind me and ran. Oh, how I ran! But my darling will not die. There is no mark on her. Where are you taking her? Where no one ever tells. Why is the princess so cruel? There is an old prophecy that a child will be the death of her. That is why she will listen to no offer of marriage, they say. But what will become of her country if she kills all the babies? She does not care about her country. She sends witches around to teach the women spells that keep babies away and give them horrible things to eat. Some say she is in league with the shadows to put an end to the race. At night we hear the questing beast and lie awake and shiver. She can tell at once the house where a baby is coming and lies down at the door, watching to get in. There are words that have power to shoe her away, only they do not always work. But here I sit talking and the beast may by this time have got home and her mistress be sending the other after us. As thus she ended she rose in haste. I do not think she will ever get home. Let me carry the baby for you, I said, as I rose also. She returned me no answer and when I would have taken it only clasped it the closer. I cannot think, I said, walking by her side, how the brute could be bleeding so much. Take my advice and don't go near the palace, she answered. There are sounds in it at night as if the dead were trying to shriek, but could not open their mouths. She bade me an abrupt farewell. Plainly she did not want more of my company, so I stood still and heard her footsteps die away on the grass. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Pete Williams. Lilith by George Macdonald. Chapter 22 Boolica I had lost all notion of my position and was walking about in pure helpless impatience when suddenly I found myself in the path of the Lepidus, waiting in the blood from her paw. It ran against my ankles with the force of a small brook and I got out of it the more quickly because of an unshaped suspicion in my mind as to whose blood it might be. But I kept close to the sound of it, walking up the side of the stream, for it would guide me in the direction of Boolica. I soon began to reflect, however, that no Lepidus, no elephant, no hugest animal that in our world preceded man, could keep such a torrent flowing, except every artery in its body were open, and its huge system went on filling its vessels from fields and lakes and forests as fast as they emptied themselves. It could not be blood. I dipped a finger in it and at once satisfied myself that it was not. In truth, however it might have come there, it was a soft murmuring rivulet of water that ran without channel over the grass. But sweet as was its song I dared not drink it. I kept walking on, hoping after the light and listening to the familiar sound so long unheard, for that of the hot stream was very different. The mere wetting of my feet in it, however, had so refreshed me that I went on without fatigue till the darkness began to grow thinner, and I knew the sun was drawing nigh. A few minutes more and I could discern against the pale aurora the wall-towers of a city, seemingly old as time itself. Then I looked down to get a sight of the brook. It was gone. I had indeed for a long time noted its sound-growing fainter, but at last had ceased to attend to it. I looked back, the grass in its course lay bent as it had flowed, and here and there glimmered a small pool. Toward the city there was no trace of it. Near where I stood the flow of its fountain must at least have paused. Around the city were gardens, growing many sorts of vegetables, hardly one of which I recognized. I saw no water, no flowers, no sign of animals. The gardens came very near the walls, but were separated from them by huge heaps of gravel and refuse, thrown from the battlements. I went up to the nearest gate and found it but half closed, no eyes secured and without guard or sentinel. To judge by its hinges it could not be farther opened or shut closer. Passing through I looked down a long ancient street. It was utterly silent and with scarce an indication in it of life present. Had I come upon a dead city? I turned and went out again, toiled a long way over the dust-heaps, and crossed several roads, each leading up to a gate. I would not re-enter until some of the inhabitants should be stirring. What was I there for? What did I expect or hope to find? What did I mean to do? I must see, if but once more, the woman I had brought to life. I did not desire her society, she had waked in me frightful suspicions, and friendship, not to say love, was wildly impossible between us. But her presence had had a strange influence upon me, and in her presence I must resist, and at the same time analyze that influence. The seemingly inscrutable in her I would feign penetrate. To understand something of her mode of being would be to look into marvels such as imagination could never have suggested. In this I was too daring, a man must not, for knowledge, of his own will and counter-temptation. On the other hand I had reinstated an evil force about to perish, and was, to the extent of my opposing faculty, accountable for what mischief might ensue. I had learned that she was the enemy of children, the little ones might be in her danger. It was in the hope of finding out something of their history that I had left them. On that I had received a little light. I must have more. I must learn how to protect them. Hearing at length a little stir in the place I walked through the next gate, and thence along a narrow street of tall houses to a little square, where I sat down on the base of a pillar, with a hideous bat-like creature atop. Air long several of the inhabitants came sauntering past. I spoke to one, he gave me a rude stare, and rude her word, and went on. I got up and went through one narrow street after another, gradually filling with idlers, and was not surprised to see no children. By and by, near one of the gates I encountered a group of young men who reminded me not a little of the bad giants. They came about me staring, and presently began to push and hustle me, then to throw things at me. I bore it as well as I could, wishing not to provoke enmity where wanted to remain for a while. Oftener than once or twice I appealed to passersby, whom I fancied more benevolent looking, but none would halt a moment to listen to me. I looked poor, and that was enough. To the citizens of Bulica, as to house-dogs, poverty was an offence. Deformity and sickness were taxed, and no legislation of their princess was more heartily approved of than what tended to make poverty subserve wealth. I took to my heels at last, and no one followed me beyond the gate. A lumbering fellow, however, who sat by it eating a lunch of bread, picked up a stone to throw after me, and happily, in his stupid eagerness, threw not the stone, but the bread. I took it, and he did not dare follow to reclaim it. Beyond the walls they were cowards every one. I went off a few hundred yards, threw myself down, ate the bread, fell asleep, and slept soundly in the grass, where the hot sunlight renewed my strength. It was night when I woke. The moon looked down on me in friendly fashion, seeming to claim with me old acquaintance. She was very bright, and the same moon I thought that saw me through the terrors of my first night in that strange world. A cold wind blew from the gate, bringing with it an evil odor, but it did not chill me, for the sun had plenished me with warmth. I crept again into the city. There I found the few that were still in the open air crouched in corners to escape the shivering blast. I was walking slowly through the long narrow street when, just before me, a huge white thing bounded across it, with a single flash in the moonlight, and disappeared. I turned down the next opening, eager to get sight of it again. It was a narrow lane almost too narrow to pass through, but it led me into a wider street. The moment I entered the latter I saw on the opposite side, in the shadow, the creature I had followed, itself following like a dog what I took for a man. Over his shoulder, every other moment, he glanced at the animal behind him, but neither spoke to it nor attempted to drive it away. At a place where he had to cross a patch of moonlight I saw that he cast no shadow, and was himself but a flat superficial shadow of two dimensions. He was nevertheless an opaque shadow, for he not merely darkened any object on the other side of him, but rendered it, in fact, invisible. In the shadow he was blacker than the shadow. In the moonlight he looked like one who had drawn his shadow up about him, for not a suspicion of it moved beside or under him, while the gleaming animal, which followed so close at his heels as to seem the white shadow of his blackness, and which I now saw to be a leopardous, drew her own gliding shadow black over the ground by her side. When they passed together from the shadow into the moonlight, the shadow deepened in blackness, the animal flashed into radiance. I was at the moment walking abreast of them on the opposite side, my bare feet sounding on the flat stones, the leopardous never turned head or twitched ear. The shadow seemed once to look at me, for I lost his profile and saw for a second only a sharp upright line. That instant the wind found me, and blew through me. I shuddered from head to foot, and my heart went from wall to wall of my bosom, like a pebble in a child's rattle. I turned aside into an alley and sought shelter in a small archway. In the mouth of it I stopped and looked out at the moonlight which filled the alley. The same instant a woman came gliding in after me, turned, trembling and looked out also. A few seconds passed, then a huge leopard, its white skin dappled with many blots, darted across the archway. The woman pressed close to me, and my heart filled with pity. I put my arm around her. If the brute come here I will lay hold of it, I said, and you must run. Thank you, she murmured. Have you ever seen it before, I asked? Several times, she answered, still trembling. She is a pet of the princesses. You are a stranger, or you would know her. I am a stranger, I answered. But is she then allowed to run loose? She is kept in a cage, her mouth muzzled, and her feet in gloves of crocodile leather. Chained she is too, but she gets out often and sucks the blood of any child she can lay hold of. Happily there are not many mothers in Bulica. Here she burst into tears. I wish I were at home, she sobbed. The princess returned only last night, and there is the leopardess out already. How am I to get into the house? It is me she is after, I know. She will be lying at my own door, watching for me. But I am a fool to talk to a stranger. All strangers are not bad, I said. The beast shall not touch you till she has done with me, and by that time you will be in. You are happy to have a house to go to. What a terrible wind it is. Take me home safe, and I will give you shelter from it, she rejoined. But we must wait a little. I asked her many questions. She told me the people never did anything except dig for precious stones in their cellars. They were rich and had everything made for them in other towns. Why? I asked. Because it is a disgrace to work, she answered. Everybody in Bulica knows that. I asked how they were rich if none of them earned money. She replied that their ancestors had saved for them and they never spent. When they wanted money they sold a few of their gems. But there must be some poor, I said. I suppose there must be, but we never think of such people. When one goes poor we forget him. That is how we keep rich. We mean to be rich always. But when you have dug up all your precious stones and sold them, you will have to spend your money, and one day you will have none left. We have so many, and there are so many still in the ground, that that day will never come, she replied. Suppose a strange people were to fall upon you and take everything you have. No strange people will dare. They are all horribly afraid of our princess. She it is who keeps us safe and free and rich. Every now and then as she spoke she would stop and look behind her. I asked why her people had such a hatred of strangers. She answered that the presence of a stranger defiled the city. How is that, I said. Because we are more ancient and noble than any other nation, therefore, she added, we always turn strangers out before night. How then can you take me into your house, I asked. I will make an exception of you, she replied. Is there no place in the city for the taking in of strangers? Such a place would be pulled down and its owner burned. How is purity to be preserved except by keeping low people at a proper distance? Dignity is such a delicate thing. She told me that their princess had reigned for thousands of years, that she had power over the air and the water as well as the earth, and she believed, over the fire too, that she could do what she pleased and was answerable to nobody. When at length she was willing to risk the attempt, we took our way through lanes and narrow passages, and reached her door without having met a single live creature. It was in a wider street between two tall houses, at the top of a narrow, steep stair, up which she climbed slowly, and I followed. Air we reached the top, however, she seemed to take fright and darted up the rest of the steps. I arrived just in time to have the door closed in my face, and stood, confounded, on the landing. Where was about length enough between the opposite doors of the two houses, for a man to lie down? Weary and not scrupling to defile Bulica with my presence, I took advantage of the shelter, poor as it was. End of Chapter 23. Recording by Pete Williams, Pittsburgh, PA. Chapter 24 of Lilith This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Pete Williams. Lilith by George Macdonald Chapter 24. The White Leopardous At the foot of the stair lay the moonlit street, and I could hear the unwholesome, inhospitable wind blowing about below. But not a breath of it entered my retreat, and I was composing myself to rest when suddenly my eyes opened, and there was the head of the shining creature I had seen following the shadow, just rising above the uppermost step. The moment she caught sight of my eyes, she stopped and began to retire, tail foremost. I sprang up, whereupon, having no room to turn, she threw herself backward, head over tail, scrambled to her feet, and in a moment was down the stair and gone. I followed her to the bottom and looked all up and down the street. Not seeing her, I went back to my hard couch. There were, then, two evil creatures prowling about the city, one with and one without spots. I was not inclined to risk much for man or woman in Bulica, but the life of a child might well be worth such a poor one as mine, and I resolved to keep watch at that door the rest of the night. Presently I heard the latch move, slow, slow. I looked up and, seeing the door half open, rose and slid softly in. Behind it stood, not the woman I had befriended, but the muffled woman of the desert. Without a word she led me a few steps to an empty stone-paved chamber, and pointed to a rug on the floor. I wrapped myself in it and, once more, lay down. She shut the door of the room, and I heard the outer door open and close again. There was no light save what came from the moonlit air. As I lay sleepless I began to hear a stifled moaning. It went on for a good while, and then came the cry of a child, followed by a terrible shriek. I sprang up and darted into the passage. From another door in it came the white leperdus with a newborn baby in her mouth, carrying it like a cub of her own. I threw myself upon her and compelled her to drop the infant, which fell on the stone slabs with a piteous wail. At the cry appeared the muffled woman. She stepped over us, the beast and myself, where we lay struggling in the narrow passage, took up the child, and carried it away. Returning she lifted me off the animal, opened the door, and pushed me gently out. At my heels followed the leperdus. She too has failed me, thought I, given me up to the beast to be settled with at her leisure, but we shall have a tussle for it. I ran down the stair, fearing she would spring on my back, but she followed me quietly. At the foot I turned to lay hold of her, but she sprang over my head, and when again I turned to face her she was crouching at my feet. I stooped and stroked her lovely white skin. She responded by licking my bare feet with her hard, dry tongue. Then I padded and fondled her, a well of tenderness overflowing in my heart. She might be treacherous too, but if I turned from every show of love lest it should be feigned, how was I ever to find the real love which must be somewhere in every world? I stood up. She rose and stood beside me. A bulky object fell with a heavy squelch in the middle of the street, a few yards from us. I ran to it and found a pulpy mass, with just four men left to show it the body of a woman. It must have been thrown from some neighbouring window. I looked around me. The shadow was walking along the other side of the way, with the white leperdus again at his heel. I followed and gained upon them, urging in my heart for the leperdus that probably she was not a free agent. When I got near them, however, she turned and flew at me with such a hideous snarl that instinctively I drew back. Instantly she resumed her place behind the shadow. Again I drew near, again she flew at me, her eyes flaming like live emeralds. Once more I made the experiment. She snapped at me like a dog and bit me. My heart gave way and I uttered a cry, whereupon the creature looked round, with a glance that plainly meant, Why would you make me do it? I turned away, angry with myself. I had been losing my time ever since I entered the place. Night as it was I would go straight to the palace. From the square I had seen it, high above the heart of the city, compassed with many defences, more affortrous than a palace. But I found its fortifications, like those of the city, much neglected and partly ruinous. For centuries, clearly, they had been of no account. It had great and strong gates with something like a drawbridge to them over a rocky chasm, but they stood open and it was hard to believe that water had ever occupied the hollow before them. All was so still that sleep seemed to interpenetrate the structure, causing the very moonlight to look discordantly awake. I must either enter like a thief or break a silence that rendered frightful the mere thought of a sound. Like an outcast dog I was walking about the walls when I came to a little recess with a stone bench. I took refuge in it from the wind, lay down, and in spite of the cold fell fast asleep. I was wakened by something leaping upon me and licking my face with the rough tongue of a feline animal. It is the white lepertis I thought she has come to suck my blood, and why should she not have it? It would cost me more to defend than to yield it. So I lay still, expecting a chute of pain. But the pang did not arrive. A pleasant warmth instead began to diffuse itself through me. Stretched at my back she lay as close to me as she could lie, the heat of her body slowly penetrating mine, and her breath, which had nothing of the wild beast in it, swathing my head and face in a genial atmosphere. A full conviction that her intention toward me was good gained possession of me. I turned like a sleepy boy, threw my arm over her, and sank into profound unconsciousness. When I began to come to myself I fancied I lay warm and soft in my own bed. Is it possible I am at home, I thought? The well-known sense of the garden seemed to come crowding in. I rubbed my eyes and looked about. I lay on a bare stone in the heart of a hateful city. I sprang from the bench had I indeed had a lepertis for my bed-fellow or had I but dreamed it. She had but just left me, for the warmth of her body was with me yet. I left the recess with a new hope, as strong as it was shapeless. One thing only was clear to me, I must find the princess. Surely I had some power with her, if not over her. Had I not saved her life, and had she not prolonged it at the expense of my vitality? The reflection gave me courage to encounter her. Be she what she might. Of the castle I came again to the open gates, crossed the ravine-like moat, and found myself in a paved court, planted at regular intervals with towering trees like poplars. In the center was one taller than the rest, whose branches, near the top, spread a little, and gave it some resemblance to a palm. Between their great stems I got glimpses of the palace, which was of a style strange to me, but suggested Indian origin. It was long and low, with lofty towers at the corners, and one huge dome in the middle, rising from the roof to half the height of the towers. The main entrance was in the center of the front, a low arch that seemed half an ellipse. No one was visible, the doors stood wide open, and I went unchallenged into a large hall, in the form of a longish ellipse. Toward one side stood a cage, in which couched its head on its paws, a huge leperdus, chained by a steel collar, with its mouth muzzled and its paws muffled. It was white with dark oval spots, and lay staring out of wide open eyes, with canoe-shaped pupils and great green irids. It appeared to watch me, but not an eyeball, not a foot, not a whisker moved, and its tail stretched out behind it, rigid as an iron bar. I could not tell whether it was a live thing or not. From this vestibule too low passages led. I took one of them, and found it branched into many, all narrow and irregular. At a spot where was scarce room for two to pass, a page ran against me. He started back in terror, but having scanned me, gathered impudence, puffed himself out, and asked my business. To see the princess, I answered. A likely thing, he returned, I have not seen her highness this morning myself. I caught him by the back of the neck, shook him, and said, take me to her at once, or I will drag you with me till I find her. She shall know how her servants receive her visitors. He gave a look at me, and began to pull like a blind man's dog, leading me thus to a large kitchen, where were many servants, feebly busy and hardly awake. I expected them to fall upon me and drive me out, but they stared instead, with wide eyes, not at me, but at something behind me, and grew more ghastly as they stared. I turned my head and saw the white lepertis, regarding them in a way that might have feared stouter hearts. Presently, however, one of them seeing, I suppose, that attack was not imminent, began to recover himself. I turned to him and let the boy go. Take me to the princess, I said. She has not yet left her room, your lordship, he replied. Let her know that I am here, waiting audience of her. Will your lordship please to give me your name? Tell her that one who knows the white leech desires to see her. She will kill me if I take such a message. I must not. I dare not. You refuse? He cast a glance at my attendant and went. The others continued staring, too much afraid of her to take their eyes off her. I turned to the graceful creature, where she stood, her muzzle dropped to my heel, white as milk, a warm splendor in the gloomy place, and stooped and padded her. She looked up at me. The mere movement of her head was enough to scatter them in all directions. She rose on her hind legs and put her paws on my shoulders. I threw my arms round her. She pricked her ears, broke from me, and was out of sight in a moment. The man I had sent to the princess entered, pleased to come this way, my lord, he said. My heart gave a throb as if bracing itself to the encounter. I followed him through many passages and was at last shown into a room so large and so dark that its walls were invisible. A single spot on the floor reflected a little light, but around that spot all was black. I looked up and saw at a great height an oval aperture in the roof, on the periphery of which appeared the joints between blocks of black marble. The light on the floor showed close-fitting slabs of the same material. I found afterward that the elliptical wall as well was of black marble, absorbing the little light that reached it. The roof was the long half of an ellipsoid, and the opening in it was over one of the foci of the ellipse on the floor. I fancied I caught sight of reddish lines, but when I would have examined them they were gone. All at once a radiant form stood in the center of the darkness, flashing a splendor on every side. Over a robe of soft white her hair streamed in a cataract, black as the marble on which it fell. Her eyes were a luminous blackness, her arms and feet like warm ivory. She greeted me with the innocent smile of a girl, and in face, figure, and motion seemed but now to have stepped over the threshold of womanhood. Alas, thought I, ill did I reckon my danger. Can this be the woman I rescued? She who struck me, scorned me, left me, I stood gazing at her out of the darkness. She stood gazing into it, as if searching for me. She disappeared. She will not acknowledge me, I thought, but the next instant her eyes flashed out of the dark straight into mine. She had described me, and come to me. You have found me at last, she said, laying her hand on my shoulder. I knew you would. My frame quivered with conflicting consciousnesses. To analyze which I had no power, I was simultaneously attracted and repelled. Each sensation seemed either. You shiver, she said, this place is cold for you. Come. I stood silent. She had struck me dumb with beauty. She held me dumb with sweetness. Taking me by the hand, she drew me to the spot of light, and again flashed upon me. An instant she stood there. You have grown brown since last I saw you, she said. This is almost the first roof I have been under since you left me, I replied. Whose was the other, she rejoined. I do not know the woman's name. I would gladly learn it. The instinct of hospitality is not strong in my people. She took me again by the hand and led me through the darkness many steps to a curtain of black. Beyond it was a white stair, up which she conducted me to a beautiful chamber. How you must miss the hot flowing river, she said, but there is a bath in the corner with no white leeches in it. At the foot of your couch you will find a garment. When you come down, I shall be in the room to your left at the foot of the stair. I stood as she left me, accusing my presumption. How was I to treat this lovely woman as a thing of evil who behaved to me like a sister? Whence the marvellous change in her? She left me with a blow. She received me almost with an embrace. She had reviled me. She said she knew I would follow and find her. Did she know my doubts concerning her, how much I should want explained? Could she explain all? Could I believe her if she did, as to her hospitality I had surely earned and might accept that, at least until I came to a definite judgment concerning her? Could such beauty as I saw and such wickedness as I suspected exist in the same person? If they could, how was it possible? Unable to answer the former question, I must let the latter wait. Clear as crystal the water in the great white bath sent a sparkling flash from the corner where it lay sunk in the marble floor, and seemed to invite me to its embrace. Except the hot steam, two draughts in the cottage of the veiled woman, and the pools in the track of the wounded Lepidus, I had not seen water since leaving home. It looked a thing celestial. I plunged in. Immediately my brain was filled with an odor, strange, and delicate, which yet I did not altogether like. It made me doubt the princess afresh. Had she medicated it? Had she enchanted it? Was she in any way working on me unlawfully? And how was there water in the palace, and not a drop in the city? I remembered the crushed paw of the Lepidus, and sprang from the bath. What had I been bathing in? Again I saw the fleeing mother, again I heard the howl, again I saw the limping beast. But what matter whence it flowed was not the water sweet? Was it not very water the pitcher plant secreted from its heart, and stored for the weary traveller? Water came from heaven. What mattered the well where it gathered, or the spring whence it burst? But I did not re-enter the bath. I put on the robe of white wool, embroidered on the neck and hem, that lay ready for me, and went down the stair to the room whether my hostess had directed me. It was round, all of alabaster, and without a single window. The light came through everywhere, a soft, pearly shimmer, rather than shine. Vague, shadowy forms went flitting about over the walls and low dome, like loose rain-clouds over a grey-blue sky. The princess stood waiting me, in a robe embroidered with Argentine rings and discs, rectangles and lozenges, close together, a silver mail. It fell unbroken from her neck and hid her feet, but its long open sleeves left her arms bare. In the room was a table of ivory, bearing cakes and fruit, an ivory jug of milk, a crystal jug of wine of a pale rose-colour, and a white loaf. Here we do not kill to eat, she said, but I think you will like what I can give you. I told her I could desire nothing better than what I saw. She seated herself on a couch by the table, and made me a sign to sit by her. She poured me out a bowl full of milk, and, handing me the loaf, begged me to break from it such a piece as I liked. Then she filled from the wine jug two silver goblets of grotesquely graceful workmanship. You have never drunk wine like this, she said. I drank and wondered. Every flower of Hibla and Jimérez must have sent its ghost to swell the soul of that wine. And now that you will be able to listen, she went on, I must do what I can to make myself intelligible to you. Our natures, however, are so different that this may not be easy. Men and women live but to die, we, that is, such as I, we are but few, live to live on. Old age is to you a horror, but to me it is a dear desire, the older we grow, the nearer we are to our perfection. Your perfection is a poor thing, come soon and lasts but a little while. Ours is a ceaseless ripening. I am not yet ripe and have lived thousands of your years. How many I never cared to note. The everlasting will not be measured. Many lovers have sought me. I have loved none of them. They sought but to enslave me. They sought me but as the men of my city seek gems of price. When you found me, I found a man. I put you to the test. You stood it. Your love was genuine. It was, however, far from ideal, far from such love as I would have. You loved me truly but not with true love. Pity has but is not love. What woman of any world would return love for pity? Such love as yours was then is hateful to me. I knew that, if you saw me as I am, you would love me, like the rest of them, to have and to hold. I would none of that, either. I would be otherwise loved. I would have a love that outlived hopelessness, outmeasured indifference, hate, scorn. Therefore did I put on cruelty, despite, ingratitude. When I left you, I had shown myself such as you could at least no longer follow from pity. I was no longer in need of you. But you must satisfy my desire or set me free. Prove yourself priceless or worthless. To satisfy the hunger of my love, you must follow me, looking for nothing, not gratitude, not even pity in return. Follow and find me, and be content with mirest presence, with scantest forbearance. I, not you, have failed. I yield the contest. She looked at me tenderly and hid her face in her hands. But I had caught a flash and a sparkle behind the tenderness and did not believe her. She laid herself out to secure and enslave me. She only fascinated me. Beautiful Princess, I said, let me understand how you came to be found in such evil plight. There are things I cannot explain, she replied, until you have become capable of understanding them, which can only be when love is grown perfect. There are many things so hidden from you that you cannot even wish to know them. But any question you can put, I can in some measure answer. I had set out to visit a part of my dominions occupied by a savage dwarf people, strong and fierce, enemies to law and order, opposed to every kind of progress, an evil race. I went alone, fearing nothing, unaware of the least necessity for precaution. I did not know that upon the hot stream beside which you found me, a certain woman, by no means so powerful as myself, not being immortal, had cast what you call a spell, which is merely the setting in motion of a force as natural as any other, but operating primarily in the region beyond the ken of the mortal who makes use of the force. I set out on my journey, reached the stream, bounded across it. A shadow of embarrassment darkened her cheek. I understood it, but showed no sign. Checked for the nearest moment, she went on. You know what a step it is in parts, but in the very act, an indescribable cold invaded me. I recognized at once the nature of the assault and knew it could affect me but temporarily. By sheer force of will I dragged myself to the wood, nor knew anything more until I saw you asleep and the horrible worm at your neck. I crept out, dragged the monster from you, and laid my lips to the wound. You began to awake, but I buried myself among the leaves. She rose, her eyes flashing as never human eyes flashed, and threw her arms high over her head. What you have made me is yours, she cried. I will repay you as never yet did woman. My power, my beauty, my love are your own. Take them. She dropped, kneeling beside me, laid her arms across my knees, and looked up in my face. Then first I noted on her left hand a large, clumsy glove. In my mind's eye I saw hair and claws under it, but I knew it was a hand shot hard, perhaps badly bruised. I glanced at the other. It was lovely as hand could be, and I felt that if I did less than loathe her, I should love her. Not to dally with usurping emotions, I turned my eyes aside. She started to her feet. I sat motionless, looking down. To me she may be true, said my vanity. For a moment I was tempted to love a lie. An odor rather than the gentlest of very pulses was fanning me. I glanced up. She stood erect before me, waving her lovely arms in seemingly mystic fashion. A frightful roar made my heart rebound against the walls of its cage. The alabaster trembled as if it would shake into shivers. The princess shuddered visibly. My wine was too strong for you, she said in a quavering voice. I ought not to have let you take a full draft. Go and sleep now, and when you wake ask me what you please. I will go with you. Come. As she proceeded me up the stair. I do not wonder that roar startled you, she said. It startled me. I confess for a moment I feared she had escaped. But that is impossible. The roar seemed to me, however, I could not tell why, to come from the white lepertus, and to be meant for me, not the princess.