 Not all types of manipulation are the same because not everyone operates the same way. Manipulation can range from being subtle to being aggressive and physical. There are many reasons why people try to manipulate others, whether that is from jealousy, fear or poor communication skills, among others. There are also many ways that people can manipulate others. We'll be discussing 10 of the most common ways in this video. And now, let's see 10 ways people manipulate to get what they want. 1. Passive Aggressiveness Passive aggressiveness is a way for people to express anger without being violent, but it can also work as a way to manipulate. In many cases, it is used to give backhanded comments, make people feel guilty or feel as if the abuser could explode at any moment and confuse the victim. A type of passive aggressive manipulation is threatening to hurt themselves. Much like the example above, they might threaten to hurt or kill themselves or someone else in order to get a certain reaction from you. The tactic is to teach you a lesson, saying, I'll hurt myself to hurt you, says an article on the Goodman Project. It's appealing for your sympathy, aimed at making you feel guilty. It's a tension-seeking drama aimed at you and gaining control again. Along with threatening, passive aggressiveness can also come with psychological manipulation, stonewalling and sarcasm, among others, according to the Goodman Project. 2. Moving Goalposts Moving goalposts is when one person puts up a goal, i.e. we'll do this when, and then ends up changing their mind, which culminates in adding more or different requirements to reach a certain goal. These requirements usually satisfy the abuser and have no benefit to the victim. By moving the goals, the manipulator keeps the victim hanging by a thread, as well as under control. Good therapy offers an example. For example, a bully may use their co-worker's clothes as an excuse to harass them. If the individual changes outfits, the bully may claim the person won't deserve professional respect until they change their hairstyle, their accent or another miscellaneous trait. 3. Manipulation of Facts When an abuser tries manipulating facts, they will change or look for the statistics that benefit them. A manipulator will actively lie to you, make excuses, blame you, or strategically share facts about them and withhold other truths, states WebMD. In doing this, they feel they are gaining power over you and gaining intellectual superiority. The more believable it is, the less likely the other person will go to verify that information. This makes the manipulator feel as if they have some type of psychological and mental advantage over the victim. 4. Cruel Humour Using cruel humour, such as jokes, to insult or demean someone with the excuse that it's just a joke, there's a way to break down the victim emotionally and mentally. But it also works to make others see the victim in a different light if cruel humour is used often in front of the same people. This tactic used by manipulators is meant to poke at your weaknesses and make you feel insecure, states WebMD on their site. By making you look bad, they have a sense of psychological superiority. 5. Exaggeration and Generalisation Vaceness is often hard to confront or dispute, which is why manipulators like to generalise things so much. According to Ross E. Collins, generalisation and exaggeration enhanced the glittering effect. The glittering effect is a situation that serves in painting what is said in a good light instead of a negative one by how the person says things. It also makes it harder to see holes in their arguments. There's really nothing specific or out front that the victim can grab on and throw back at the abuser, although they might feel that something is wrong. This will leave them confused and trying to analyse what is happening. 6. Lying If they don't use exaggeration or generalisation, an abuser will use lies to try to get you to believe in whatever they say. When they are caught, they will lie on top of the lie to keep the illusion going as much as possible. Lying is the primary tool manipulative people use to continue living a hidden laugh. The manifestation can be as simple as I was late to work because I overslept, or as complex as I got fired because my boss felt threatened by my superior knowledge, says Red Mountain Sedona, a clinic for helping young people overcome difficulties and thrive. When lying is used as a primary tool, it becomes a cycle of deceit that not only traps the liar but also the people surrounding the liar. A person who has fallen prey to such behaviour becomes an expert at lying and deceiving in an effort to pursue a destructive lifestyle. Red Mountain continues, the poor decisions and choices move into the driver seat and the person begins to feel like a passenger who has little or no control over the journey. In order to break out of this cycle of deceit, it's important to become aware of it first and then get help. 7. Insecurities Playing on someone else's insecurities is a sure way to bring them down, while at the same time making them think things that aren't true. Manipulators exploit these insecurities or weaknesses for their pleasure or their need to feel in control or above you. They may make fun of you, make you feel small and insignificant, or be passive aggressive, among other things, all until you break down and believe that you truly are worthless. 8. Fear In general, when someone is confronted by a fear, they may run, hide, or freeze, similar to how someone reacts to a dangerous situation. But abusers only look for one thing when they're using your fear against you. They are looking to keep you exactly where you are, frozen, and under their control. To create this fear, they may use psychological and emotional tactics as well as physical intimidation, even threats to your loved ones, or threats relating to exposing some information you don't want out there. Remember our story about your significant other threatening to kill themselves or someone else if you leave them? As you can see, threats can also include changes, as this type of tactic is used to reach your empathy and respect towards people you don't know. 9. Silent Treatment The Silent Treatment is another manipulation tactic where the abuser tries to make you submit to their demands by withholding affection, time together, and communication, and making you feel guilt and shame for something they say you did wrong, which most likely turns out to be something you actually did right, but that threatens the abuser's sense of control. According to Good Therapy, it is also used to punish or make the victim fearful, as Silent Treatment can also become psychological manipulation. 10. Recruiting others to help Good Therapy gives this example of an abusive parent asking family members to remind a child how much the parent has sacrificed for the child. Of course, this doesn't only happen in parent-child relationships, it can also happen between romantic partners where one partner goes to their mutual friends or even family to get support in something they said that they know will bring you down. It can happen between so-called friends or work colleagues as well. It is good to note that the other people being recruited don't always know what's going on and they might just agree based on the perceptions they have, not necessarily the abuse that's going on between the abuser and the victim, since it's possible that the recruited people aren't even aware of it. The social pressure may convince the child or person to stop complaining about abusive behaviour, finishes Good Therapy. Remember that a manipulator, such as an abuser, can combine these and other tactics not mentioned here in order to get what they want. It also depends on the situation that is being lived at the moment. If you think you're being manipulated, we suggest going to a professional or a trusted third party. We hope that this has helped you in dipping your toe in and starting to recognise manipulation tactics. Let us know in the comments what you think and how you were able to overcome your own manipulation. Follow us on our YouTube channel for more tidbits about psychology and relationships. Thanks for watching!