 The Anderson family. I don't see why you have to buy cowboy boots to wear in the mountains, Oliver. You have to wear a Mary. If a snake strikes you, he hits the boot instead of your leg. What about me, Pop? I need him too, don't I? Not necessarily. The records prove that snakes bite more men than children. I don't see why Junior can't have a pair of those boots. Because they cost $25. And he'd only wear them once. Oh. You're going to wear yours to work. How do you like it? Oh, here we go again, folks. The whole thing started with the difference of opinion between Oliver and Mary about some cowboy boots Oliver bought for his vacation this year. It has finally been settled that the family will go to the mountains, but only after a struggle. The first thing Mary knew about the decision was when she was driving Oliver home from work this afternoon. Well, I bought a tent this afternoon. A tent? Sure. It gets chilly up in those mountains after dark. Well, I don't see why we couldn't have just gone to the beach for a week. To the beach and get trampled to death? Oh, no. The mountains are the only place left where you can stretch your legs. What's in this box? This? Oh, uh, the fellow where I bought the tent showed me a pair of cowboy boots that I'd need him. Need him for what? Roping mountain goats? No, for riding horses if we pack in. I don't know. The more I think of this mountain trip, the less I like it. Oh, you'll love it when you get up there. Ah, the clear cool air. What's in this large box? Oh, yeah, just a few things. A kerchief and a plaid shirt and a pair of shaps. Sounds more like you're entered in a rodeo. Never mind. I'm going first class for once. Maybe I'd better pick up a few things tomorrow to wear up there. Pick up what? You just need slacks and you have them and you won't do much riding. I'd like to go first class too, Oliver. Oh, I see. Now I'll hear that from now on. Well, I didn't want to go in the first place. Now, I don't see any sense in going someplace you don't want to. Yes, Junior. Pop with you? Yep. Gee, what's wrong? Speeding again? Oop. Did you get the stuff, Pop? Yeah, most of it. I couldn't get a reel. Oh, I fixed that. Butch Chapman has two reels and he'll let me use one of them. Oh, that's fine. Of course, I had to ask him to go with us to get the reel. What? You mean you invited the Chapman boy to go? Well, sure. I needed a reel so I made a deal. Well, you can un-make it. I'm not going to be responsible for anyone else on this trip. Of course, you can always go waiting, Junior. Gee, it took me three hours to sell them on the idea too. Well, look, Junior, I hope you see what I mean. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Gee, Pop, what's in the boxes? Oh, just a couple of things I'll need. That doesn't include a reel either, Junior. It doesn't include a reel because I can't get one. Now, see what it is now. Jeepers, Pop. Cowboy boots. For me? Well, no. The man only had this one pair. You can wear them while your father sleeps, Junior. Oh, Jeepers. I bought them because we might run across a snake. And these boots could save me from being bitten. A snake wouldn't strike a junior, I guess. It's a known fact, Mary, that more men than children are bitten by snakes. Anyway, I want them for riding. What's in this other box? Oh, just odds and ends, odds and ends. See, a kerchief from my neck. Red. Well, in this flannel shirt, plaid. Kind of corny, Pop. I don't care if it is. If those boots are too small for you, can I wear them, Pop? They're not too small. Did you get any directions on how to get into them, dear? Oh, that's cute. Hand them to me, Junior. Here, Pop. Gee, red tops. Like a Russian dancer. No cracks. While your father gets into them, Junior, how about taking these packages out to the kitchen for me? Aw, Mom, I want to see how Pop comes out. I'll come out all right. Go on, go ahead. Put on the whole outfit, Pop. I may do just that. Here, let me help, Oliver. They won't go on that way. Now, who's that? Go ahead, put them on. I'll answer the door. Oh, hello, Homer. Oh, howdy, howdy. Can I come in, Mary? Of course. Oliver's in the front room. Yeah, yeah, you just saw him drive up. Oh, oh, it's Homer. Hey, hi. Well, what on earth? Oh, me cowboy boots. Well, sir, I remember one time I had... A snake bites, Homer. Oh, there. Yeah. Oh, me cowboy boots. Let's see you walkin' them. I will as soon as my feet stop burning. Uh, they are a little snug, Mary. I guess they need breakin' in. Yeah, it looks like they need another inch on the end. Stand up, Oliver. Let's see how they look. I don't think I can. Maybe they are a bit small, but I can break them in. What's on your mind, Homer? On my mind? Oh, yeah, yeah, see, see, I'm going to a club social this evening and I can't find my hairstay. You got a little Vaseline I could use, Oliver? Oh, sure. I don't think we have any, Oliver. You pack the lawnmower wheels with it. Well, then show them where the lawnmower is. I don't want no Vaseline out of a lawnmower. I don't blame you, Homer. Um, how's Martha? Well, sir, pretty upset. Been talkin' to Mrs. Byers down the street. You haven't been annoying Mrs. Byers, have you, Homer? Nope, nope. Oh, he never looks sideways at her. Uh, Junior around? He's out in back. What is it? You sure you won't repeat a word of it? Hey, what are we whispering for? I don't know. Well, sir, uh, hey, if this got out, I'd be a dead duck. But Martha and me is the only one what knows this. Mrs. Byers is getting sued for a divorce. Oh, no, she's a lovely woman. Yep, yep, that's years, Mary. Nice woman to talk to. I thought you didn't look at her. Well, I ain't. I've been pourin' cement at Bridges for three days now. Ain't been no place. Yes, Bridges said you were working for him. Said you took more cement home in your ears than you poured in the farm. Hard to taint so, taint so. No truth in that at all. No, sir. Well, well, I guess I'll get on back home and just put some water on my hair. Or just keep your cap on all evening. Oh, what's wrong, Oliver? These boots, they're killing me. Well, just sit down. We'll take them off. Yes, sir. Ain't nothin' worse to pair tight shoes. Well, I guess I'll get back home. Martha will think I've been telling you about Mrs. Byers. Well, don't worry about our saying anything, Homer. Oh, I know you won't. That poor woman feel pretty bad as she thought anyone knew it. Tell me how you come out at the social, Homer. Yep, yep, sure will. I'm going alone. Get the idea? Hmm, Homer isn't careful. Martha may decide that Mrs. Byers is a good idea. Homer's too smart for that. Oh, Mary, I can't stand another minute of this torture. I have to get these boots off. Now what did Homer forget? Well, he probably wants to know where the lawnmower is. Oh, Mrs. Gonkel, won't you come in? Can't stay but a minute, Mary. Oh, who is it, Mary? Mrs. Gonkel, then. Oh, hiya, Gertie. What's he got to be so happy about? Vacation. Come on in the front room. Hmm, new drapes. Oh, you were a couple of weeks ago. How's Gus? Oh, he's all right. Still working? He sure is, and am I glad of it. Yeah, I imagine so. It's probably a relief to stay home and not have to drive that bus anymore. That's no job for a woman, Oliver. Sit down, Gertie. Well, no, I thought you were alone, so I thought I'd drop in and get your contribution for the flowers this year. Do you have to be alone for that? Well, no. But there was something else I wanted to mention. But this isn't the time to do it. Uh, Oliver, would you go out and see what Junior's doing? I will not. I can't walk. Oh, bending the elbow? Nope, tight boots. Is it about Mrs. Byers? Mrs. Byers? Why, how did you know? How did you? Well, of course, it's very much on the quiet. No one knows about it. I just dropped in to see Martha Meister. And no one knows it, but Martha. Homer, Mary, you and myself. And it's early in the day yet. Well, it's a good lesson to some of these husbands. I don't get the connection. Well, it just goes to show that women don't have to take the things they used to. Bravo, Gertie. You took it, Gertie. That's all right. My folks live 2,000 miles from here and Gus never does get car fare ahead. I'm no fool. I wonder what Mrs. Byers will do now. Okay, Mary, let Mrs. Byers solve her own problem. You know, Oliver, Gus and I were talking last night. And we couldn't see what Mary ever saw in you. I didn't know Gus ever got to talk. Very funny. Very funny. Oh, come now, let's not be children. Anything I hate is a flip and smug husband. Why, Gertie, you're joking. No, I'm not, Mary. Well, if I bother you so much, why don't you go on your route down the street and explain to the neighbors about Mrs. Byers? Oh, Oliver, it's what you'd expect from me, Mary. And I don't have to come here to be insulted. No, you can get that anywhere. Yes. And don't bring any more of those turkey raffle cards over here for us to punch with a lucky number home in your own pocket box. That's all I want here. Gus will take it up from here. And believe me, you will be sorry. Oh, come now, you're acting like children. I'm not mad at you, Mary. But Oliver will certainly hear from this. Gus will be over this evening. You mean you let him out after dark? Oliver. Let her go. All she ever does is to run people down. Now she'll never speak to me again. She'll make you very happy. Oh, my feet. Why don't you just let them off, Oliver? Wait three minutes and they'll drop off. Oh, give up. Make Junior a present of them. Mary, I don't laugh. But I can't get them off. Can't get them off? No. I think my feet have swollen in them. Oh, brother, let me lie down a while. I have to get off my feet. Maybe I could just pull them off. Oh, no, no, not now. Wait till they stop throbbing. Let me just lie down for a few minutes. Oh, brother, it doesn't feel good to get off my feet. Yes, the rest might do you good. I can't understand why you and Gertie Gunkel always have words. Oh, she's just a busybody, Mary. There's enough trouble in the world without peddling it from door to door. Well, I'll pull the shade down a bit and let you have a short nap before dinner. So swell. There. Now just put your feet on this pillow. Oh, wait, wait. I'll move them out. Oh, they're burning up. I spoke to Mrs. Gunkel and she didn't answer me. Shh, your father's taking a nap. What's wrong? It's too tight. Oh, think I'll get them? I wouldn't be surprised. Now come on out. Be quiet, let your father sleep. Oh, I forgot my boy, the cowboy. And now back to the Anderson family. Oliver bought some very beautiful and expensive cowboy boots for a vacation trip into the mountains. It seems that he got the boots to fit just a little too soon. And on Mary's advice and after much struggling, including a heated argument with Gertie Gunkel, Oliver has sought his cot for respite and refuge in a short nap. He has just fallen asleep. Gotta get these boots off. Just sit on this chair, Oliver. I'll pull them off. Well, hurry up. Get a razor blade. Get the scissors. Come on. No, no, just hold still. I'll yank this boot off first. Okay, pull. Well, hang on now. Wait, wait, wait. Stop. Oh, Oliver, I'm so sorry. I told you to stop. Let me get a hold of this door. Now you pull and I'll kick. Okay. Got hold? Yeah. Yank while I kick. Kick. Oh, you kicked me right in the eye. Oh, you brute. I saw you kick her in the eye. I didn't do any such thing. Oh, my eye. You scoundrel. You should be in jail. Mary, don't you stay with this person another minute. But Gertie, you know I didn't mean it. Yes, I know. Come on, Mary. I'll send you my lawyer. We'll see if you have to stand for being kicked around. Yep, what is it? It's me, Oliver. I was just walking around and thought I'd stop in. Well, get in quick before anybody sees you. Before anyone sees me. I don't get it, Homer. How's Mary? Mary? Oh, oh, that. Oh, she's fine. Things like that never bother her. You mean she's used to being kicked around? Kicked around. Look, Oliver, I'm your friend. Well, thanks, Homer. I just stood up to a band of wildcats and said one word again you. But Gertie's seen it with her own eyes. Oh, so that's it. Yep, yep. Me and Marthe's talked it over. Marthe's a good woman. She was Homer wouldn't dare let you in the house. But Homer, you know me well enough to know I wouldn't do a thing like that on purpose. No, you wouldn't, eh? No. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, of course, sometimes, fella kind of loses his head. And before he noted, he'd done something terrible. Well, I don't think it was terrible. I was just... Yep, yep, yep. I know, Oliver. We're entitled her own opinion of them things. Well, the same thing happened when Marthe and me was first married. Well, let's not go back that far. She took $11. I've been a savings for a corn shellor. Well, now that's different. There was money involved. No, don't make no difference. Money or no money. She tucked that $11 and bought herself a new fall outfit with high button shoes, gloves, dress, coat, a penny coat. For $11. Eh, that's when a dollar was tough to get, son. Well, sir, when she walked into the house with the paraphernalia on and kind of leered me under a cheap veil, hanging over her left eye, eh, Gally, I was waiting for her. What happened? I walked up to her and jerked her head off her head and pulled back my fist. And hit her? Well, no, no, she swung first. Oh, but it just goes to show that a man ain't always to blame. I won't breathe it to her soul. Eh, listen. Martha, Martha, you're coming up the steps. Yeah. Come on, quick, out the back way. Gee, I feel like a criminal. Come on, now hurry, now. I'll see you tomorrow sometime. After dark, now get... Good evening, Briggs. Lovely evening. Oh, Anderson. Yeah. Is Mary hoping the hospital yet? Hospital? Has she been in one? Don't you know? Or don't you care? What, what? Of course I care. Oh, I presume you're speaking of Mary's eye. Why, was something else kicked? Oh, look, I don't know who told you about this, but listen. Don't grab me by the shoulder. I don't have to take it from you. Baby will certainly see through it that you don't maul me around. I'm not mauling you. I just want you to wait a minute. Don't think you can go kicking people in the eye or choking them. I wasn't choking you. I merely touched your shoulder. Yes, but it's a short distance from my shoulder to my throat. And I've heard all about you. I won't be here that long. Oh, going somewhere? Not till tomorrow. Tomorrow? Well, where are you going tomorrow? Well, it seems I'm going to Grandma's till Mom can get settled someplace. Settled someplace? Well, she always liked it here, didn't she? Well, you can see why she couldn't stay on now, Pop. Yeah, I guess so. How is Mom? Pretty bad. Mrs. Gunkel is nursing her back to normal. Gunkel? Oh, oh, how can a person be normal around Gertie Gunkel? I just wanted to tell you, Pop, I think you're all right. Thanks. I think you're all right too, Junior. I suppose no one took the time to explain it was an accident. No one explained anything, but I saw Mom's eye. Oh, well, from what I've heard, I didn't know she still had it. Of course, I'll see every vacation, Pop. Well, that's swell. We'll have so much to talk about. Well, I guess I'll go see if I can help Mom pack. Hey, don't think it'll do me any good to go down and talk to your mother. No, I don't think so. Mom was all right till everyone started phoning. Now she has to do something about it. Oh, you mean Gertie got on her bike again? Yeah, looks like it. Well, shake, Pop. We may get together at a later date. Well, of course. I'll be around somewhere. Don't you worry, Junior. You'll just be a good boy. I will. I'll take care of Mom. I'll try to get to see your mother before she leaves. I wish you would. I think she still likes you, Pop. Really? You think she'd... But don't get your hopes up. Gertie's taken over. Mary, how long is this thing going on? Leave that door open, Oliver. Open? Okay. I hate to do this. You've been so lovely about everything, and we've been so happy. Now you can see I could never hold my head up again after Gertie sold everyone about this and exaggerated it. Look, Mary, I'm going to see Gertie Gunkel right this night. Oh, no, please, Oliver, please. She's not going to break up my home when it's half paid for. But she's sending her lawyer to see me. Well, we don't have to talk to him, Mary. Well, maybe it's best to just see what happens. Yeah, well, I'll tell Gertie to stay home nights and she'll know how it feels to be well fed for once. I'll say to her, listen here, you troublemaker, I'm all through fooling with you and from now on, look out! It hurts that, Anderson. I heard every word of it. Where'd you come from? How'd you get in? The door was open and I heard every word of it. I'm Mr. Gunkel's lawyer of the firm O'Brien, O'Brien and O'Brien. My name's Bergman. Birddog Bergman, they call me. Now, Mrs. Anderson, if we could get some place where it's nice and quiet and private... Well, Mr. Bergman, maybe you'd better talk to my husband. After what I just heard? Not Bergman. I'm not interested in husband. Mr. Bergman, this is my husband, Oliver. I've met him. Well, well, well, so you're Mr. Anderson. That's right. You naughty man. Now, wait a minute. Did Gertie Gunkel send you here? That doesn't concern you, Mr. Anderson. I just want the poor young lady to sign a few papers and O'Brien, O'Brien and O'Brien will do the rest. Papers? Now, wait. I didn't call you. It's happened that I'm representing a lady in the case. Say, Mrs. Anderson, could we have it sort of private in here? Now, look here. Mrs. Anderson doesn't really want a divorce and she didn't send for you. That's the husband's side of it. And I'm prepared to take this to the highest court in the land. Well, Mr. Bergman, maybe if we could talk... Don't, don't, don't let him scare you, Mrs. Anderson. I know how you feel, but always remember this. From our long experiences and cases of this type, we find that once they kick him in the eye, they'll do it again. Oh, but Oliver didn't kick me on purpose. We got witnesses who say he did. I tell you, this man's unreliable, Mrs. Anderson. Now, I know we all hate to take this step, but why go through a living... Well, even just go through. Because remember this. If he kicks you in the eye once, he'll do it again. I didn't kick her in the eye. Say, say, pardon me. Leave the room, will you, sonny? By law, I'm entitled to privacy with my client. Well, I'm all right. I'm just sitting here. That's just what I'm objecting to. Now, look, Mary's not going to be bullied into something she doesn't want. Now, just a moment, my friend. The courts are full of your kind. Kick them in the eye and try to square it with a pair of rayon stockings. And where does it get the wife? Just another kick in the eye. Oh, Mr. Bergman, I don't know what to do. I'm so upset I can't think. Take it up with Oliver. I can't stand anymore of this. She can't do this to me. Now, look here, bird dog. I know you came out here on legitimate business. I don't mind that. But I do resent your telling Mary I'll kick her in the eye again. Now you have her confused. Listen, buddy, I know it's tough. We get these remorseful husbands every day. But they always come through after the bird is blown. Look, why don't you settle a few hundred bucks on her and give her a divorce and start over again? Words don't seem to have any effect on you, bird dog. And if I could stand in these boots for just 10 seconds, I'd run you out that door. You mean you can't stand on your feet? Well, well, well, well, that's just fine. Because you ain't gonna like this. The little lady's going to get every dime you've got. And don't try to come crawling back to her. Because remember this, kick them in the eye once and you'll kick them again. Get out of here. Go on, Scott. I'll give you free to be out that door. Oliver, one way to talk. Oh, you're back. I don't want to see me squirm. Quit kicking, Pop. And you can take Gertie with you. Yeah. Oliver, wake up. Wake up, Oliver. It's Mary. Well, Mary, where'd he go? Where did who go, darling? Bird dog. Wake him up, Mom. Oliver, wake up. Come on, snap out of it. Huh? Oh, oh, oh, it's Mary. I've been trying to awaken you for five minutes. Pick up those pillows off the floor. What's this bird dog business? Oh, brother, am I glad to see you. And Junior, do you look good. Gee, your dream must have been a dandy, Pop. You wake up so nice and chummy. Well, it wasn't pleasant. I can tell you that. Oh, oh, my feet. They're getting paralyzed. Oh, you poor man. Here, hold your foot up. Get hold of the heel, Junior. Mom, you shouldn't talk that way about Pop. Oh, quiet, Junior. No. It's moving. Keep pulling. It's moving. Oh, oh, my eyes. Pop, you kicked Mom in the eye. Well, do something. Help me pick her up. Mary, is your eye cut? Gee, someone at the door, Pop. At the door? Well, I can't go. Shh, quiet, Mary. Junior, you go at the door. And listen. What, Pop? If it's Gertie Gunkel, or a fella by the name of bird dog Goodman, don't let him in. The Anderson family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herbert Litten, and featured Richard Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, and Walter Tetley as Junior. Herbert Rawlinson played Homer Meister. Others in the cast were Jenny Johnson and George Peroni. One was by Ray Erlenborn, music by Gordon Kibbey. Your announcer is Doug Young. The Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production transcribed from Hollywood.