 Hahaha! Stop talking about it. Babies aren't urinal cakes. Are we live mat or what? Yeah, but not, not everywhere. I'm a bit worried. It's episode number ten, and that's pretty good, we're 25% through. Uh the season, which means every episode is 2.5% and that's a lot of effort to put in for just 2.5% What's that mean? what are you talking about this percentage I was just doing some physics for everyone you were a physics teacher once yeah yep I was how weird is it that we used to be in charge of children yeah did you have blue cards no no we never renewed it sorry we just said that we did and also said that I had my level two coaching qualification I hadn't completed that I didn't have the certificate I just said that I was and no one ever checked it and I was paid like a level two coach I've done the courses I just hadn't handed in like two fucking assignments about like a volley or something but it goes to show same thing with you becoming a primary school teacher you never went to any classes you just did the assignments you don't have to do shit to be anything you could be a doctor tonight if you go home and google you fucking idiot I'm going to go ahead and say you are a doctor you are Dr Brown Dr Brown Dr Brown are you maybe what's wrong with me I can't tell you all right look it's episode 10 we're a quarter of the way through the whole entire fucking season and look we had a bit of a look at the comments from last week we're going to get we're going to sit German or gibberish out this week and we're going to replace it we've got our beloved little julian in sitting in the wings we have a guest he's going to come on a little later and tell you exactly how it was fucking a Thai lady he's a boy julian is a boy too so we're going to give German or gibberish a rest see what you guys like think and feel about that and like if you could let us know in the comments that it'd be like so sick we love hearing about um what you guys think about in the comments are you have a sniff to your microphone yeah well I stopped after all of the for the fighting well there you have it yeah also fucking we read the comments Nord VPN look I'm gonna I'm gonna reach out to them and say hey look we're happy for you guys to stay on if everyone wants us to stay with that yeah everyone was was mostly supportive about that that means that you guys will have to listen to the Nord thing again but hey hopefully I'll get better at it no we'll just do it how we feel at the time yeah okay do it I'll twist on it all right so so you know and to be fair they are it's it's you know thank you Nord VPN we shouldn't have been so quick to judge to judge you last week in particular so uh look our apologies all right thank you for the money that you want to give us yeah sort of sorry sort of sort of sorry um what fucking it's episode 10 that means uh in also in the other corner of the basement here we have Matt Brown's new yeah I thought those are gonna be applause which ones are you applause again through this that's a scary one um I think there is an applause is that no not an applause I will look here all that double digits means upgrade every 10 episodes brown gets a new chair he she gets new chair we're gonna make him wait outside while we set the chair we'll lead him in blindfold and then he has to seal in the chair all that and so much more with prank call we got everything else holy shit it's right there I can see it easy no we got blankets so yeah we got the reason why you got that chair is because it was your birthday egg chef yeah I got a little bit earlier sort of a couple days ago yeah that too yeah you plan for yeah um also if I can man we filmed an incredibly painful video today excuse our drainedness it is look at Michael's body okay yeah they don't look normal and look at that as you can probably see on youtube that's squash balls all right and it's hard to describe the pain it is it is such a shocking pain that it's that it takes your breath away it is like and and there were some shots where I was like oh it's fine and then like literally it's such a delayed views of incredible intense pain you fucking start like oh that's fine and then two seconds later bang is it like the spoon hit where it's really really delayed it's like 10 times worse I broke down at one point like I was honestly ready to cry that'll be coming out leave so that'll be coming out on the website right now out on the website we have um uh is it better to be safe than sorry which is fucking rip and clear I don't know about that one I can't remember it anyway it's on the website we post all our fucking weekly fucked up shit to the website the video that caused these horrific injuries will be out on the website in like a week or something as well so just fucking go and have a look if it's 21 days it's 21 days for free so you can go on binge watch everything right make us pay for it because we have to pay for the data and then cancel and you don't get charged a cent who gets that that's not like if you want to be a real fan and support us and help us and if you like the podcast too yeah then just sign up and don't even watch it yeah um no but you can engage with us in the Facebook group we do monthly Q&As there's all sorts of things Matt Brown that you don't know about I know about some you know who's about some sorry uh can um can I ask fucking out you guys um give a little explanation around the uh Nutella car there's a few people commented and confused even though we you put a lot of info out of what happened there but can you just explain so that uh coincidentally so so we filmed the Nutella car video right and it was an Easter themed video a little prank on Mickey hey oh gotcha oh put a little bit of chocolate on your car oh such a crazy to clean crazy and look good though and then it's all right right comes fucking Easter friday i go on the internet and boom shami has posted the exact same video like the Nutella and sprinkles and i knew that shami's never intentionally copied us ever so i knew it was just a fucking wild coincidence a message in my dude we just did exactly the same fucking video and it's coming out on sunday and you know fuck it i was just like i know everyone's going to think that we caught that one of us has copied each other but it no it was just a flat out coincidence it happens it fucking happens there's nothing original done on the internet though all these people been like oh no it wasn't show me the dude first who's this other smith families i've never even fucking heard of them okay there are so many content creators now i remember one time this is going back years ago we did a stupid stupid star wars video oh fucking in the mall star wars is fucked okay calm down and i can't believe you've said that anyway fucking shit anyway like there's us playing fucking swords in the street oh dude i can't believe you're going into detail about anyway some kid three days before we released that released same video in question pretty colors on the stupid swords they use in that stupid show they're called lightsabers oh yuck anyway that fucking we did it because it was a trending topic okay we would fuck you star wars michael so i'm sure that we've never watched star wars i never sure that there is some i've seen a bit i saw one star wars once and the beginning was a fucking we're in this stupid sandstorm and this fat thing now you're being racist no the fat fucking slug thing was talking and it was so old looking it's called jabber the hut it exactly that's shit that is shit what you just said agreed that's shit what he said it's not the best man so fuck off just watch the old trilogy and that's it it's not matter the new the old it's shit that's it that's how it is i think anyway um our sponsors this week oh yeah yeah normally i'm very keen to get into the sponsor look first sponsor of course we have the beautiful manscape as you can see on our table here we have a range of manscape products and the pubes next to them there's a huge pile of pubes that one of our fans sent in last week we have sitting next to them to signify just what manscape does it helps men groom and cut their hairs nice and fine without slicing your skin to pieces i'm still loving the body wash the body washes the body man that lathers are all over himself he squeezes his breasts together and make sure his whole body's lubricated as fuck like an inch thick of it one bottle per shower he has that i slide along his files and then he slides like a slug to work no anyway manscape.com if you want me oh if you want 20% off right oh fully actual 20 if you want 20% off any manscape product go to manscape.com fully actual 20 for 20% off it's just fucking nuts go and just have a look at the website okay there's plenty of shit on there if you want you can put the body lotion wash shit on your body and if you have tiles in your bathroom this goes for you julian you can rub your body on the tiles back and forth till you come seriously julian we know someone we know someone who's done it it is possible yeah so try it try that report back to us next week how is the cum bottle going oh yeah five hundred dollars if you feel a six hundred mil bottle of coke no yeah coca-cola bottle we've come i forgot about it but i i i got the bottle and i don't want to get have you come away though have you started yeah let's just say all right well we have far up fuck not far but i'm gonna have to work on it yeah oh man i'm excited i've always wanted to have a bring it to work with you do i have time limit well well if you tell the end of the season do you want to see gradual progress though oh yeah i'd love if you could bring it each week i'd love surely by the end of the season i reckon i reckon matt could fill in a month if he was pushed man i would love that dude honestly it would make my year and we could do something with it man we could do something fucking cool that's sorry anyway manscaped.com go and have a look next sponsor of course the university of marco our subscription website which funds our fucking lives we post our weekly vlogs science experiment fucked up videos on there that we're not allowed to post to social media you can have a look at the content 21 days for free link is in the description if you're on youtube just go to university of marco.com if it's you're listening on fucking Spotify or some shit and you're gonna have a look at the videos and then you can decide because i guarantee you there is not content like ours out there anywhere in the fucking world and we are in the videos and we are in the videos most of them you've never said that before james james premiered on our tiktok the other day as his own solo video and it's fucking good oh is this the one that i was saw yeah it's raining i knew it i fucking knew he fell from the sky yeah he's good at form is that out yep oh i can't wait i'm gonna watch it well done james um and that's it and lord vpn go and have a look we'll start and lord back up once i contact them because now i'll just go to them and say oh hey you know do you want to continue and then and then starting next week if they agree then we'll start again okay and lord you're good you know we're coming around to them slowly i don't mind i've definitely i've bought them three times yeah which is strange because they gave them to us for free us too and you you only need i really i signed up you only need one two i'll use the one two discount code but the great work everyone and that's the sponsors what's the time it's 9 30 okay good we still got time it's 5 16 we have time because remember at 5 30 that's when our bachelor brown lady finishes work very very special wait give a 15 minutes of leeway to get come on we'll look we'll look what what don't we have i've had a long think about this and i just don't want to do it anymore matt shut up god we're far too involved now i think when you see comment of the week when you see comment of the week this week you will change your fucking mind why and your gender why i can't let's do the chair the chair is good we're all indecisive get the chair out of the way try to sleep yeah just wait i'm sorry let me explain everyone what we're gonna do matt's gonna step outside so the fucking can't can't see in and we're gonna swap the chairs over then we're gonna lead him in in front of the camera and show him uh for anyone who's not watch the podcast what's the chair about matt has a really shit fucked up low chair fuck off it's his first season on that fucking fucking camera and it's not bad but it's just shit it's not tactical earlier it sucks it is so uncomfortable it's shit you're gonna find there's only like one spot you're gonna sit like it's like four minutes well you'll be very comfortable on your new new seat i think i think okay and then this will introduce julian and we'll do we'll do the bachelor no we'll do the black book in my bible after we do a little interview anyway all right guys we're going to send matt outside now get outside don't you fucking peek inside can't i will fucking come on get up quickly this is so important blur this connor all right so right now matt's outside with the his new chair is a toilet okay it's a fucking toilet from bunnings and right now julian is sitting on it and he's taking a massive shit in the actual toilet oh my god there's a huge shit in the toilet now we're going to close the lid of the toilet and matt's going to come in and hopefully he won't smell it if he does hilarious if he doesn't he'll just walk in and sit down or even lift lift all he has to do is open the toilet and there's a fucking monster shit in there so this is going to be a hell of a reveal it smells so bad already so there's no way he's not going to be able to smell it when he comes in but at least he hasn't seen it yet so he'll definitely open the lid let's see it oh my god dude yeah it smells like someone's just taking that shit next to us in this hot steam damp basement and now we're all marinating in sick oh my god crap oh man that smells so bad julien must have had eggs and frog oh my god there's blood on it too yeah today when james was setting up the toilet building it he cut himself he just flicked his blood all over it so the chair there's toilet is like really covered in shit and blood it's a bloody shit toilet this is so good quickly julien i can fucking can't take this smell anymore he's doing finishing his poo in the toilet doing well there he just got through he's coming on camera um then you go right maybe hey yeah that's not bad yeah see he's nice and comfy nice fucking toilet yeah sit down sit down and try it out mr brown the people can't see your face where did you get it from for people can't see your face brown town you need to talk into the microphone baby come on have a seat i don't want to open it no yeah i don't want to open it why it looks fucked already no dude don't be so ungrateful dude just have a fucking peek inside it's safe on top the poo is hidden inside it's not hard for us to man it smells so oh my god the smell is becoming hard it's not good damp soul it's okay fix it i think we leave it no episode it's like a it's like a poo and the and the and the dots on her that's uh blood James's blood to be specific that's right that's healthy yeah it's true because he cut himself setting it up and then flicked it on so it's a shitty blood toilet down on the toilet you ungrateful cunt no he's already had a look there you go that's fine there all right is he okay on camera julian yeah he looks so good all right well back to those cameras and we left that one we did it all right everybody cat is so high now oh my god you're bigger than us are you big tall man you're bigger than us are now baby you are you bigger it smells like shit it's weird looking up to you because he's still looking down at the egg yeah yeah you've become more stature i fucking hate you guys is it a nice back rest now don't talk to me try and push it baby there's a little button there i wanted julian to do a poo on the top but it's hard yeah no it's better in there it's more it's more realistic it's more realistic anyway that's matt's new chair and i guess should we get should we get julian on two all right everybody we're gonna get julian on to talk about exactly what it's like deflowering a small time and with fake boobs hey man i've done it brown of course he fucking has we can squeeze up just ignore try and ignore my my sweaty skin is that better yeah that's beautiful is that good matt yeah that's great oh do it do we have to do i did a massive shit in there like i've seen it like wait no it's fresh too like that's like i ate six pizzas yesterday and a large big mac meal and ate pizza for breakfast this morning you should go get checked that's not a normal smell dude open it up and have you definitely have an std it's it's impressive it could be all right do one there's a toilet right there do a swap seats all right for those of you who don't know julian went to thailand recently during our week off and he got on it with um puck one of his mates over there yeah and uh they did some wild shit so julian why don't you tell everyone just one maybe one or two of the wildest things that you did well that you were there and maybe include you know that thing that you did no man i i didn't do any of that i did it i did it but julian sent us a video of a of one of them were urinating in a toilet like standing up standing and then um she's sort of turning she's like oh no no stop filming me no no thailand was crazy man like i didn't know what to expect from over there because like well getting drugs and all that is like apparently really fucked very dangerous very dangerous but you managed man within the first hour i had done lines of math md coke everything like i'm not usually like one to take math like you're like oh you want a line you want a line i was like oh that's fucking spicy what was that like math and i was like oh that's cool that's so dumb man yeah yeah i've done math before so i know how to sleep on that heaps but um god i've been here a minute and i already look like some fucking weird crackhead jungling fucks lady boys i always thought you were that you're a fuckhead man you're literally sitting on my shit but no but on copenang it was more just like drug taken partying and shit it was so fun and then what you said that's your favorite place hey your favorite island uh Cambodia it's another country i prefer corong oh so i was like Tasmania i was i was corong about saying that so um so can you just explain what puck life right so he is in what he does puck life's a fella from new zealand who like timmy mullins he does like uh tours all over the world and he's just started up two palaces so he's got like hostels one in nicaragua like you've been to the one that it was originally happened and um and then one on copenang like in their full moon party island in thailand but he just like he's just a party animal but fucking he just showed me around but then we went to Bangkok and that's where all the fuck shit happened what happened well we only spent one night there which was like the last night before he had to fly back to new zealand but like we went to the hangover bar like matt saw that like the bar the sky bar where they fucking filmed the hangover at the hangover whatever fucks me but um then we went back to calcino you sent us a message um like two iam saying that you'd bash the street dog yeah is that real? yeah it's crazy but speaking of bash and things we went to this place called nana plaza and it was so fucked it was like all these ladyboy strippers is dancing like and they don't dance like sexy they just bob there like they just look dancing there like sardines can't show us how okay julien's standing up and he's slumping his shoulders and just bopping up it's sort of like this shit is tight techno but they're just dancing like sardines on a stage and then pucks like oh wait look at this and it's a fucking bat like a rubber bat and i'm like what he's like hit him and i'm like you're kidding and then like i've hit one is yeah pussy pussy pussy and then like tried to hit me and then i'm just like fuck it then i just started laying in and just absolutely hammering the fuck out of this stripper on the stage see bash the stripper with a bat with a rubber bat yeah bash this fucking stripper with a rubber bat was she scared? it's pretty funny and then i passed out in the strip club because like we'd just been on like we'd had uppers and stuff to keep us up the night before and then like i was just drinking like no tomorrow with no straightness i was like just fell asleep and then came to it and then there was in the hotel a few ladyboys what happened? well i didn't do anything i'm not gonna let you do that you penetrated one no yeah fucking this one dude harry no uh will was fucking one this is that one of the ladyboys? no no british will and he was fucking piping it and it was jacking its little cock off holy shit oh my god did you watch that? yeah dude was it was it hot? we're looking at the little thai lady boy while i was rimming its ass julian but dude it is but like who's thinking why is it only thailand that has like ladyboys? no there's a lot of countries that have it yeah of course philippines is big too yeah no but like nowhere near as big as thailand like there's some in bali i think it's because thailand has that open cultural thing red light district no but amsterdam has a red light district what red light district is there at fucking thailand i'm just saying like that the bencock red light district is a bit more i've never been i can go it's like a cultural thing maybe i didn't see no red lights over there i don't know i don't know how much i want to say on here without like i've already incriminated myself but like it was like there was this one time there was this like brazilian fellow i won't say his name but he was like hey come back come back disco it was like a real life uh don't mess with zohan he's like this guy this guy and like zohan it was like it was like 11 p.m at night and he's like come to my fucking bungalow we're like driving into the middle of the jungle like fucked off our tits on our scooters and then like got this banana field to this cunt's house and he's like hey what do you want man i got cocaine i got fucking get them in method like bro and it was so far it was just like kikons like legit kikons in australia but like in the middle of a fucking thigh jungle cunt if you had gotten court or court with death penalty you would have got death they shoot you on the spot bang fucking worth it yeah it's crazy i remember it remember loud the yaba shit yeah yaba yeah that was so scary that is bad news you almost died on it can you explain what that is yaba is a uh like a little red pill and it's caffeine and methamphetamine in one pill it's i don't know why you'd like if you need methamphetamine you'd want like i want a bit of caffeine like it's very addictive but like marty oh sorry marty almost died well i just got really sick after 24 hours of doing it and no the next day like fucking um one of the boys hit me up at 7am and like you want to go have bumps and like when you hear like you want to have a bump what do you think of um sister oh yeah yeah lady boy sorry no like german thing no it's like if someone's like oh you want to bump it's like coke oh it was like 7am doing fucking meth and like and then they were all sick the next day like i was the only kind who was on the boat like back from the island to like samui that wasn't like vomiting and shit they were all fucking so sick but i'm like you gotta have a meth body yeah you've got a great meth body kind of you've got a fucking true meth body it's that muscle memory and there you go meth and those are the stories that julien is allowed to share with us and he did tell us behind camera that yeah he did in fact have sex with a lady boy uh briefly thank you thank you julien for your um stories of wisdom from fucking thailand oh yeah man he said he would and he did it he's poo in there my brown's gonna my brown's gonna poo in nappy anywhere let's do bachelor brown brown brown brown bachelor brown brown brown brown brown this is what he's right behind you he's right behind you bachelor brown brown brown brown brown brown i should bong break before i do it i'll have a bong by the way guys if you hear weird sound effects playing every now and then it's just us uh experimenting really there are couples still flicking around need for marihuana uh i think i should smoke marihuana bachelor brown right back after this and what are the podcasts does this sort of shit happen on a i'll tell you what not joe rogan definitely not joe rogan that had a bit of string hanging from his beard and now he sits on his throne all right we've just removed the shit from matt brown's toilet um and we're back and um as promised it's time for um bachelor brown brown brown brown and this is a segment where michael and i have taken it upon ourselves to find matt a partner a mate he's getting old he's he's physically declining rapidly and he has no idea how to find a partner so michael and i have decided that we're going to do it for him and this week we have lined up another phone date for matt the end of the season we're going to pick matt's three favorites not done we're going to fly them to brisbane in a in a free for all matt has to frenzy has to fuck them all can you watch it can you watch his foot his foot is like a second away from knocking that camera out good boy you sit there or something yeah sit there yeah good boy sit down good boy good boy he's going to get too hot with the lights yeah i'm sitting on all the pubes i feel bad so much pubic yeah that's good for him anyway i i don't i'm okay with this now but i don't want to do the three the three being flown here doesn't talk well what about you i reckon you might find a wife before then i'm fingers crossed fingers we'll talk about it later anyway here we go it's um time also we've um we're going to use the what's this called we're using the mixer the mixer i just in case it sounds different it should sound clear all right there he is hello this is marty and michael um am i speaking with alexie alexie you are indeed oh alexie you know what alexie your name already has peaked the brown ears they shot right up and he sat up straight and tall now alexie i don't know if you know much about matt brown but he is um quite the catch um yeah i have seen him um very attractive very nice bald head yeah um love it i love the the bald head he he was fighting it for so long remember may add that little tough to flop on your fucking head how come it's better you look without it anyway matt brown is um somehow he's single and he is uh look we we think it's because he picks stupid girls so michael and i have taken it upon ourselves and we found you alexie so we just want to give you and matt brown the opportunity to have a little catch up and a discussion to maybe see if there is a flash of chemistry chemistry oh i love that all right matt i'll i'll put it over to you go matt do i do i get a song do i get a poem what's going on come on matt i'm a poem tell me that poem i'm forcing it is i don't even come prepared surely you have a party trick off the cuff do something do the church in the steeple where did you where did you see me did you watch the podcast well matt ask her about a con about me get to know uh man where did you say did you see me on the podcast oh matt well my one of my best friends my best friend's boyfriend my best friend's boyfriend jasper just forced me to do this fucking legend she loves you i reckon where are you from sounds like true love so i'm from hers and i am so i've heard matt that you like young girls so i'm 20 um but he doesn't love them he loves them young fresh even better i'm i look 16 so look if you're in brown stop it stop it come on matt i've never been to perf is it nice oh with the boring questions matt she's sassy too come on that why don't you ask her what she does for a living so you can work out how much money she has what do you do for a living uh i'm a receptionist a bit boring that's okay well tell her what you're doing matt explaining great detail what you do and where you do it at and where they're located this could be the one and you're not helping me we are helping you matt come on matt i'm so sorry about this it's a scenario here bang he's in a scenario for you alexi you're dating matt brown for three years right and you've just had an argument he's he's not happy with what you're wearing and he told you to go put some new clothes on you're walking down the beach you see a muscly guy approach you he asks you out on a date even though you're upset with matt brown what do you say to the man i will respectfully decline because matt brown is the love of my life oh my god they're together i'd i'd never put you down for what you put me down for what i wear look what you wear you can wear whatever you want oh man are you be flirt flirt now huh come on do some more flirt what are your hobbies what do you like to do besides being reception well my hobbies include um i have a harry styles vibrator for you that occasion i matt look at his eyes his eyes just killed why don't they did his eyelids are gone they fully did his eyelids are gone as soon as he said vibrate my eyes lit up holy s*** they're together he's matt brown he's matt brown and these guys are in love you love her alexi she's on top alexi's now taken top i reckon no sure hey uh what else besides uh the vibrator oh yeah okay well matt what's something deeper i don't know like hiking i don't know okay cool so like long walks and your vibrator yeah that's matt brown's favorite yeah that is fucking coincidence yeah that is definitely that is two things you've got one of the other vibrators from one direction what's the other guy called tim zayne zayne makes so i reckon alexi's on top yeah like matt say it she's the winner top three definitely um you've definitely swooped in and and jump okay that board i haven't even seen you yet i just this is just i'm just going with the sound of your voice this is exactly what he needs to alexi he needs to take appearance out of it because he only goes for blond head fake tits huge fake lips 30 centimeter eyelashes botox so they can't even fucking move their face a huge ass implants so alexi now um what if she has all those things we need to make sure that you contact matt brown after this so do you have instagram so matt brown one one one one give him a follow and then just get to know him and see what he's like maybe you can come up with a new instagram name for me maybe you can come up that's when you stop the sentence maybe you can come up full stop oh yeah you did very smooth very smooth mate you're already inviting her over to your shed so you he's got chains and shit look at matt brown every time sexual every time i think i've been embarrassed i can hear your mints bubbling away and you finish with the poem finish with a strong with a poem roses are red violets are blue lexie's hot and so are you yeah okay so i'm not very good at that but that means lexie to be hot all right well there you go alexi good luck we hope you and matt get along well and thank you very much for taking our call you've been a great sport and by sport i mean hunt matt is now hunting you block him run dude that went so steep baby i felt that went so steep that's the that i felt the most comfortable with her i think i haven't even seen that's the most raunchiest one like phone call you've had so far on the toilet i still think the morgue sex offer was good but she was just nailing everything we threw at her she nails for something back so you've got your good fun tough oh first date on the toilet too went quite well yeah first of first that's the first in history a first date done on a fucking toilet i don't think i can sit on this no one else has done that no one with a shit in it yeah i don't think i can do another 10 episodes of this i don't know what to do matt might have to get your back brace i reckon a pillow will fix it we'll talk about it later i will talk about tomorrow okay on this day alexi lexie or is it lexie or alexi alex is it really yeah alexi okay there you go alexi is flexi bull bozzy how dare you bozzy that's enough how dare you bozzy we need to get a roll on all right on this day on this day in 1997 that purple cunt barny was officially fired as a children's tv host when a prostitute that he had hired press charges against him she said that barny had physically assaulted her by putting coloured pencils in between his knuckles and king hitting her in the back she also accused barny of distributing methamphetamine to kids at his live shows and that's why they always danced so much it's wondering what happened to barny remember that purple dude oh dude i used to love barny as a kid yeah you dressed as him for a long time in your early 20s yeah holy shit a lot of Michael had a purple obsession remember that he would wear purple jeans my parties you have to wear something purple that's up coming up soon shit that doesn't like it's a purple party disgusted by that rule look at that face you have to you have to man it's not what are you gonna wear that's purple i don't know i don't know you just show up with with your purple cons on and that's it i'll be no you can have like just even like a piece of jewelry that's purple no because if you're going if you're the one calling the purple i think you need a whole purple suit or something yeah discrete with it just a little bit of purple we'll talk about it later sorry all right it is time for michael's bible now michael is writing a bible because he is starting his own religion and he is known as bezis bezis okay we will now be reading a random um verb a venom a venom uh a verse phrase uh and and uh a paragraph paragraph from his bible which he's about to pass me when he realizes that he's got a next to him a psalm that was michael i'm still learning these give him a little card and off on it all right opening to a random page in michael's fucking bible all right let's see well oh yes yes no this is great chapter nine verse 12 from the book of get fucked fucking fuck it up how come pancakes don't have pans in them and peter is nowhere to be seen pancakes are so flat and stupid i much prefer normal cakes bakers are so dumb because they get up early to bake their cakes like can you see that you can bake at any time of the day baking cake also rhyme which is pretty cool i think if your girlfriend likes to bake heaps she'll most likely be fat one day but what the fuck are you doing do you understand how disrespectful that is to just get up and walk off during bezis has excerpt what did you take from it what did you take from that uh little meaning there that little story right and what did you take viewer at home sitting there how does that relate to your life drop a comment in the comments and start a conversation with a friend yeah what are you doing that's just lurking around the outside now he's got a lexie fucking drilled into his ass and he's fucking more jacked up than a fucking kangaroo on steroids come anyway enough of your bible not very rude i was um fixing the lights yeah whatever so let's move right along from that all right everyone it's that time of the week i feel sick even holding it it makes me feel so sick and black and dark oh here in my hands i'm holding matt's little black book and in it he has detailed every half he's ever had in his fucking life and they are so descriptive and disgusting it makes me want to kill myself tour all right here we go we go oh i gotta scroll down excuse me by the way for those wondering what this is any new new listeners well i just sort of explained it didn't i this is matt brown him his personal recollection of chicks that he's banged throughout his entire life do you understand okay here we go have number 26 it was a hot hot summer's day and the sun was beating down on me i was enjoying one of my favorite weekend hobbies i was at the dump searching for soiled underwear i'd found a large pair with some interesting blood splatter along them and a few with some deeply ingrained skid marks i just needed another two or three pairs and i should be okay until next month my beady eyes inspected the rubbish each one moving independently one of my eyes locked onto a potential find as the other i scanned the perimeter of her predators and council workers my first eye zoomed in on the potential find and indicated that yes indeed there was evidence to suggest that i had just found another pair of undies i galloped over like an arrogant horse and scooped the material up with my hand i held it in front of me and could see that yes it was a pair of blue size 18 undies there was a dark black spot in the center and i plunged my nose directly on that spot and as i inhaled deeply the smell filled my lungs and sheer ecstasy sent deep shivers through my body it smelled old yet fresh it smelled of meat and feces which was my favorite i dropped to my knees and inhaled again tears welled up in my closed eyes this was a pure happiness i slowly opened my eyes and as my senses came back to reality my left eye picked up on something just next next to where i found the underwear i see what looks like a human hand i scuttle over like a land crab for a closer inspection the hand seems to be severed and the body of the hand is nowhere to insight it was bloated and swollen from decomposition from center alone i could tell that the hand belonged to an obese eastern european woman aged 53 and the underwear belonged to the same person i knew her body must be around here somewhere i undid my fly and threaded my little brown out into the open air then i flicked the tip and he shot up at attention i let it smell the hand and underwear and it immediately started spinning and searching it suddenly locked on in one direction and started tugging towards its target i let it lead me and i just walked five meters when my little brown aimed itself straight down i stopped walking and began digging down throwing all the food scraps and broken furniture to the side then my hand felt something it felt skin i shut my other hand into the rubbish and then i pulled out a leg attached to a torso it belonged to the eastern european lady whose hand and undies i just found jackpot a reasonably well preserved torso and leg was a truly rare find the rest of the woman including her head, arms, upper body and other leg must be scattered throughout this dump but that didn't matter because this was all i needed my little brown was still aimed directly at the torso i quickly looked around made sure no one was watching and then i jammed my little brown into the festering rotting pussy on this torso maggots squelched out the sides of my little brown but the wriggling of those little maggots felt incredibly sexy i used the fat torso like a flashlight and started fucking it with great skill and lust corpse gunk squirted out with every thrust like a sponge being hit with a hammer parts of the torso were so badly decomposed that the skin would rip off which would release powerful gases trapped under the flesh every time the smell hit me my little brown hardened further before along my meat baton was as hard as steel tubing i placed the torso on the ground and started fucking down at it crashing my pelvis into the torso pelvis mushing the pussy rot flesh deep up my dickhole i crushed fuck faster and faster until the old familiar feeling started whirling up in my legs then powerfully exploded up my brown cock mince gushed into the corpse torso pussy and my mince had its own smell my face turned to that of a dog when it really enjoys a scratch and i wallowed in my euphoric release mince gushed and poured into the like a raging river once done i detached my little brown and saw maggots swarming up and down my shaft i brushed them off and stomped the used torso back deep into the garbage i stomped until the torso was liquefied and gone in the between the cracks i just fucked my first dump corpse still in total shock from my luck i grabbed on my hundies and bounded confidently backwards straight past the confused council workers and all the way home dreams do come true and i still visit that dump every saturday in search of more treasure i really don't know if you can count that as i have oh my god dude holy fuck my ribs hurt but yeah thank you holy shit you liquefied ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha my brown he made it liquefied my brown crazy my round crazy my god man's crazy oh oh my god it hurts a laugh anyway sorry Oh Things got out of hand All right, well, I guess it's time for a All right, we're gonna do we're gonna come right back with questions and comment of the law. Yeah, sorry And then we're doing p.r. Box and then prank It's time Oh Just take that opportunity and run away. Yeah take off but not bossy bossy will stand at that door Even if there's fucking watch it come on Oh, he's good, isn't he? Yeah, it's like a car doing a reverse It's scared of touching the poles and shit remember when he got caught up in the cords like years ago in the first season of podcast He yelled at him and he panicked Traumatized him so whenever he touches cord now he freaks out. Anyway comment of the week and comment of the week is We pick a comment that we love all three of us All right, and we put it on a board to signify that you had a good comment Well, you could pick anything doesn't need to be the most liked or interesting or funny It just needs to be a comment that we like at the time. This is a shit segment. Show them the comments board Matt Look at that, isn't wouldn't that be great? Just tell all your friends put it on your resume. You never know comment of the week All right, Matt Brown Papa Mama All right comment of the week went to Miles Bowman miles congratulations miles. You're in the chance to win $1,000 We've just decided everyone okay, this is should amp your fucking comments up All right, we're gonna give $1,000 once we have the 40 comments on the board. We're gonna come Episode 39 we're gonna put a poll up What we're gonna see which comment is voted the highest and whichever comment gets voted the highest out of the comments of the week We get a thousand dollars sent from us to you. Where should we do the poll? We can do it in a group or the Instagram. Oh, yeah We'll leave it to our website members website members will be deciding which comment is the best Okay, after the after the 40 all right after the 39 sorry and we revealed of winner on the fucking season fucking finale Can't holy shit so comment you could win a thousand dollars just for commenting man I can't believe we haven't thought of that before that's makes it more exciting and plus now we get to give you guys We're gonna give you just start giving you guys money now. We've got Nord back We just give you guys Nord. Holy shit. It's us. We'll have to put this out into the stratosphere And Comments go through the roof. So there you go. That's starting now. Okay remind us next week So miles is now in the runnings for a moment. He's got the same initials as me miles You are now in the running for a thousand dollars. That's crazy man. All right. Do you want the comment? I'd love to all right Bachelor Brown is the best thing since wrestling And we are we like see so that's positive. So you got to continue it Alexi see ah you better message. Oh, man Just like you did. I don't want the other one. What was the other one? There's been a few no the one that you loved Jasmine Jasmine. You loved her see I knew it and now he's loving Alexi Anyway, we'll move on. So that's the comment of the week. See how random and shit that was wasn't shit It was just how random it was. We don't pick we don't pick just fucking willy-nilly So just write a comment just do a comma maybe and we might pick that Hope someone does a comma if you can't you comma it could win if you can't support us in any other way Please if you see if do you even have sad a little chuckle Maybe gives the comment like the video and subscribe to the channel because that's all the support We need we said the numbers go up. We see it back like fat cats licking our fur Still flicking around oh So fucking um, yeah like comment subscribe It really helps us out man none of our YouTube videos are monetized because of the shit that we do on here There's a fucking shit in the toilet. You know what I mean? That's sort of shit that goes on here So we don't get paid for that. Yeah, we've sort of gotten used to the smell now. No, I took it out Oh, is that why they're not yeah, I nearly bomb it. I can't do yeah I had to take it out Matt was feeling a bit sick Sweatering underneath him. Anyway questions. All right top question went to Noah yasik yasik. Ah, fuck. He told me how He actually told me how to say his name ages ago forgotten. I remembered. I'm not telling you where he's from It's either yasik or yasik yasik. No, it's not yasik. She never said that. What did she say? Anyway, it's from Noah Question for the podcast now that James is fully part of the team when can we get him on the podcast as a guest? I have a crush on him. Yeah, great question. Yeah, he's a very good-looking guy We'll get him on. All right, we'll see if we can get him on he can tell a story or so about us How's that everyone? He's kind of the reason shake my hand. Is he kind of the reason this we Matt Brown would still be stalking nuns outside churches if it wasn't for Matt Brown I mean for James mmm James is brave James James freed him from his vicious lust fuck cycle James is the bridge. Yeah So, um, yeah, and there it is we met James. I will talk about him when he's on. Yeah, we'll bring him him. Yes, Noah Michael put his doodle back in his pants too well in there's we on his doodle Next question is from men on the pants Manuel Salamurran. All right. Fuck yeah, man. Let's hear it Um What pisses off Michael more the feeling and the the feel ups or the sexual assaults or from Marty having his hair messed with This okay, the feel ups or your hair is like You're not allowed to do that and he fucked with me the other day and I seriously thought I was in silence I thought he'd like fucking I'll be out soon. Yeah, we won't go spoil it But I thought my hair was coming out and I went through a horrific As I was like scrubbing in the shower for ages But then again him feeling you up at like 6 a.m. When you're about to coach a bunch of kids for tennis Every morning repeatedly like he would just get you you try and get out of the car He'd slip a finger into your heart We'd both just be sitting there in complete silence and so tired and just such explosive movements so quickly Wait for like minute he'd sit there just with his door Open the door, and then I just have to quickly go for the Undo my belt and then I just wait and then I just try and jerk out as quickly as I could Always get a finger into you are so mad in the morning like so grumpy And then you have to coach kids. Yeah, that sucks to see that happen. No, it was we were coaching it Greg wasn't there. Okay, so they're different like ones like a mental pain ones of physical pain So I go half-half. They're pretty bad Next question is from Peter Hunt. Um, so Michael you visited our rat Didn't you? Yes. So the question is have the rats convinced Michael to visit our rat? Holy fuck I didn't make that connection man. That's they named it. They sort of talk in code when they call our rats They're saying everything is rats. That's what they're basically saying an hour The ball is right prove me wrong. Maybe all a rat. It's not a la rat. It's actually pronounced all Rat oh, wow everything is doing some code. Well, there was there is a mental asylum. See I went and visit rats It's abandoned we're going there actually How far is it? It's in Victoria. We'd have to yeah be like a long trip to Melbourne We should do it because it's in Victoria the girls one and me and James want to visit the cactus place That's like country Victoria. We should just go to Victoria on a trip. Okay. Let's go a couple of days. Couple of days tops Yeah, that's good. I'm only doing it if we go tonight, but I loved it. I'll call Call Qantas and let them know what's going on All right Next question is from Henry Mahoney. Mahoney. Mahoney. Oh boy How many of your favorite clothes have been ruined from pranks? You often seem to wear really nice clothes in your videos and they get covered in stuff I know you've definitely lost clothes. I've started washing them Yeah, we fucking go through so many clothes. It's so shit. Yeah. No, we'll like I've bought wardrobes of clothes in all your own. You haven't yet I'm not sure when something gets fucked with I now wash it straight away If I can like the in the bedrooms here. There's probably a lot of props It just gets dirty and then it just gets left too long. We just throw it. It's just easy junk accumulates And like it's just clothes But like yeah, remember when we first had it started making a little bit of money We just kept buying new clothes and shit because we were wearing tattered rags for the last 25 years and Man, we would we would ruin some nice clothes actually a shopping spree with Michael is a Best because he just when I can you just walk in you go fucking like that and that and that and you just you're out of control And you realize you can do that. He's really rude No, they've been lovely to the star. So good. Sometimes he tells him to fuck off Oh Just knows exactly what he wants and then if he doesn't nobody if he's not sure if it works He'll try it out on the and he'll in some of us. He's very good very good shopper Okay, I remember one time recently in Christmas. I left my bag of shopping through like out of change room Within two minutes. I'd gone back. It was gone and then a lady helped find it. Where was it? It was in my Security said in my arm I That is a possibility Have you seen my bag? And he's fucking holding the thing All right next question all right next question is from spud underscore for Kate Are you guys ever gonna do the office chair down the hill experiment would love to see that one Yeah, look, I'm I think we should really just let's just let's just pencil it in next week Let's just do it and we release whatever happens happens as a website video. It's a long weekend. I really want to be part of it. So just How about we do it on Monday done we can try all right website video We just hire a truck take all of the office chairs come to that hill Look, we're gonna try it. All right. There you go. They've the chairs have been around for too long We're gonna zip tie a bunch of chairs together find the fucking steepest hugest hill and then sit in the middle chair in a Sea of chairs all tied together and then go down the hill I'm worried that one chair will ruin it and like collapse and slow everything down But in a dream sense when we go down the hill and hit something all the chairs around you like the octopus We'll protect the center chair You should essentially be invincible and that's what we've hypothesis our size That's fucking exciting. I would you can't die you can't die if you're in the middle chair You have like it's like a what can kill you well if you hit a tank you just bounce Oh, I just had a thought. I think I know what could happen You've got heaps of speed the chairs start to flip the chair You're on flips and then all these chairs cut you up and you get you get dragged along you get like Massive chairs laying you down. Yeah crushed by chairs as you get out of here Like 40k an hour chair crush probably like 30k how I reckon you'll go 30k an hour If that hill that we found that is one of the most fucked things I've ever seen you look at Yeah, I guess we wear knee pads and elbow pads. I think we should wear astronaut helmet. Oh, yeah in a helmet Astronaut suits man. You don't know where we're gonna. That'll be expensive Next question Fuck it be cool. If we did get air next question is from Clive flu not him cuz he's It was a question about We answered that oh, I want some Alright next question is from Sam Warner How come Michael no longer pisses in cups during the pod has his girlfriend brainwash him to thinking it's not perfectly reasonable habit No, it's because he's not drinking beers. It's just sink beers during the podcast. So it need to piss every five minutes Hmm. I don't I wish I would fart That has been a few questions about where the farts. I don't know is it because he a healthy eating I don't know man. I don't know. You've really just they're gone now Fucking hell like I can't even think of the last time. I fuck like it Well, look at this is how I drink now Matt look I'm gonna try it. I'm feeling my under bite Next question is from a over Pavel feeler pavel filer Pedophilia that's it Question for the podcast do Australian people check their toilets for spiders every time they use it. I don't know Matt. Do we? Not for spot. Have you checked that one check some for shits? Yeah I mean every time I've if they've had maybe two in my life and in the toilet. Oh, man And I guess they are always in the toilet are they but they're usually behind it They usually behind the toilet green tree frogs Yeah, I'd make Greg get him out of the toilet I'd call him up at his little granny flat and force him to come over And you'd have to get him out. He couldn't believe I couldn't touch him. He just grew up with animals like that I guess I think in the outback more you might get a couple of snakes every now and then but I'm very rarely Imagine that getting bit in the asshole by a snake happens Oh, you're bullsack dangling down the green tree hatches on I buy it man. Really? Yeah. Yeah, no green tree frogs don't buy it. They're friendly venomous Not today just Google Next question is from Albert Aguila What do your neighbors think about you guys having your? Asses out in front yard all the time. It's hilarious. Just wondering I don't know is a pretty cool Michaels neighbors are all legends minor. All right There's one guy that started yelling at us when we're filming the game show game videos. Really? Yeah, he doesn't like the loud noises, but fuck him man It's like the most annoying character in the world. I can see would be so shit to have to listen to that. Let's go outside Michael Let's go outside mimics us now for those of you don't know we've started making videos on our backup Facebook page Well, I'm a game show who's who's incredibly irritating and Michael is an unsuspecting contestant. Oh, dude Just yeah, it's very he's got a tail. It's fucked University of Michael go and have a look All right, and we got one final question bring it down. It's been asked before but we should probably should say it again It's been some time It's from Jonathan Bailey. Why do you call us fans of ringworms? Because there's no other word for it really ringworms is ringworms to us We use the word ringworms and I know it's strange as like a substitute word for when you can't think of something It's like fucking let's how it's start fucking forgot bloody The ringworms the fucking ringworms that it's like saying the watch emma call it Yeah, it's exactly what it is. It's the ringworm because saying the watch emma call it's so shit Yeah, it sounds so stupid the ringworms way better It's over in the ring and everyone understands Everyone gets it 90% of the time when you say ringworm and replace it with another word around anyone try this around your friends They will understand what you mean. Yeah, so in the ringworm. So you guys are like you guys You guys are like we don't know that we don't have a term for you guys So we just call ringworms because it's like that's ass man. You guys are ass. That word's been around since like 2000 No, I'll probably use it anyway near as much as we used to anyway near as much as we used to Yeah, true. Yeah, we just moved on the cloud. We'll stop it. We'll stop it What do you want to be called? Let us know on the flele Hmm You've got an extended sentence it's like German you yeah, you've got this extended sentence you like in the Fuck you just yeah, it's just nonsense that said anyway moving right along Po box wait Thank you, thank you Fucking look don't play with it too much. Yeah, you're gonna hurt everyone's ears. So we figured out how to use this thing All right, so we're getting used to as we get used to it and but we'll probably use it in not a very good way anyway All right settle down everyone Settle down everyone. It's now time for the PO unboxing segment where you got we open shit and last week We opened a letter from one of you guys and they were pubes in it and they're still here I threw those pubes. Oh, man, stop picking them up and playing with them Stop handling yeah, yeah, I'll see anyway, you guys send a shit We open it live and more often than not it's something fucked So strap yourselves in and get ready because we've got a box that's been sent to us. It's so light though I don't reckon anything good. I thought I caught a smell of something and then no Yes, it's too you have to open it What is to me look Matt Brown? Yep, see all right If you want to send us anything by the way PO box 256 Taigum 4018 Queensland Australia send us weird shit We've been sent cum shit piss fingernails teeth Pubes you name it so from New Zealand join the party, baby. Yes That's come on that don't act like you don't know how to use a knife I've seen you butcher those animals with a butter knife. Oh fuck off. I've seen you use a spoon You can you can actually skin a cow with a spoon. You're disgusting and we've seen it That is a revolting thing to pitch in loud. Yeah, I remember I Don't trust packages. I'm at he's opening the small cube box Tentatively he's peering peering in like he's looking through the change rooms came up He's opened it one side. He's picking. What do we got Matt? There's a letter. There's a letter. Okay. That's a good start Let's read the letter the letter should give away the mental state of this person So we know if it's dangerous or not Marty Michael Matt It's been too long since anyone's eaten something weird on the podcast. Oh, no So here's an unlucky dip Each of you pick an item from this box. Once you each have an item open them at the same time and eat what is in your chosen box Good luck. Cheers for the laughs. Keep up the good work. Look after yourselves from James I'm not doing any fucking body shit if he's it's like jizz or calm or Surely it's like semen something actually edible What is it Matt? I guess you just take the lucky dip like what do you do? I got a little glimpse to something but oh yuck I don't know. Did you just grab something like safe to touch? This is a shame. I'm scared Okay, so we each have to dip put our hands in and pick something out. Oh I can now come sorry. So that's just revealed three what what just says eat crawlers on it Fuck that eat crawlers Just so what it said. I don't know just take. Oh, no, it's that's just a card. All right. Oh, there's a box for that's scared All right, I don't know each have a little cardboard box. We don't know what's in it What does it say read the card out to give them some clillies says equalers? Yeah, Louie Louie Bernie or Lewis Bernie 1% for the planet equalers eat crawlers is his Instagram eat crawlers. Thank you very much He's from Browns Bay, Auckland. All right. All right. Oh shit. Oh, no Fuck off natural scorpions. All right, so it's a school. I have a scorpion in here That's so shit. I got a mixture Do you Insect I don't I'll swap you. I don't think no fuck. Can you eat? Is they really? Yeah, this is food man Oh, no, I got a tarantula I'll have this and I'll just have one thing from it wait Oh They were moving Making a move was the surely is not a tarantula in that. Oh, no Yuck, dude, that is so I'm so glad I've got mine now fucking Our tarantula here, so it's a natural tarantula our tarantulas are crunchy and delicious They have a similar taste of prawns and make for an exciting you need bugs. I'm gonna eat a tarantula may contain You just ate a scorpion. All right, so I've started eating the scorpions and Oh, no, it looks like a tarantula. It's actually fucking delicious Guys if you want some healthy food, this is like what we do in Germany can't different insects Yeah, sure and not as dried and flavoured, but this was my bread and butter growing up babies Oh My god Of course Germany raised Show the camera a close one of them like go up there, please. Oh hold it. This is fucked I'm scared holding these things. Give us a feel of that fruit Give me that fruit What does it taste like like delicious to be honest not bad at all. Oh It's a tarantula. It really is. I don't want to do this so bad, but I know we have to that sucks It smells like um It smells like my bag of scorpions is empty now There is a fucking spider in the room that's a fucking camera Matt That's that is the sickest thing I've ever seen I can still see That is the biggest spider in show the camera. That's fucking crazy. You have to eat that whole thing Come eating the whole yeah, Matt. Come on, baby. I don't fucking like dude. They keep moving. It looks like I Can still see the hairs yours are fine Michael that they're honestly delicious. I'm having one worm and that is it. I Don't want to do it. Hey, they smell like um, what's with the dog food you give the smackers That's pretty mean Matt. They're delicious. Thank you very much Each cause Hashtag equal. I'm eating it. I'm eating tarantula. Oh my god. That's not bad. Yeah, see That's your take it back. I take it back. I take it back. It's all good. It's not that good. Fucked. Oh Good, I ate worm. That's it. I did it. That's fucked. I can't believe I'm tarantula I've never seen that have a leg fucking Insane. Is it good any hairs left? Yeah, it does. Oh Dude, you're making me feel sick. It's like smackers like dog food. Mmm. Very dry the tarantula. Not a fan I don't want to eat the back. Aren't they little poisonous? Celatif is bloody bloody man. They cook all the poison out come to Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. That's enough of that. That is oh, that's a fangs. Oh my god. Eat the fangs. Yeah Are they? hard or oh Just look at the fangs. I gotta get a look at this thing. Oh Instinctively, you just want to fucking throw away. It's like so Did you show this to camera? Yeah, that is so massive and gross imagine that waking up next to you Oh, yeah, it's so dry Yeah, it tastes very good. I'll give you that much cheese. I'm on edge. I feel sick now. Yeah, that's ruined the day for me No, I don't know if anyone can see that but like there's fangs 18 scorpions for fuck's sake. Oh, that is so fucked up eat crawlers that their Instagram I don't have a look at what they got there. That's fucking just some delicious shit highly recommend the scorpions It's a tough eight or say so yeah eat crawlers. Oh My god, go check them out 753 B Beach Road Browns Bay like that name in Auckland And yeah, eat crawlers on Instagram and eat crawlers on Facebook Thank you for that was fun It's a very good PR. I'm out. Oh my god. This has been a gripping episode boys. Oh, all right. The final segment is the prank Oh And I know they haven't been the best the last couple of weeks. We've been a little unorganized everyone so I'm gonna call a cleaner and As Margaret and try and get them to come and clean my house as soon as possible And if they have the proper equipment to clean blood and stuff, basically I'm gonna be alluding to the fact that there is a Fucking murder scene at my house come on Mm-hmm Excited for this month. Yes, you have to stay on the toilet. You can't leave. I hear we go here. We go here We go. It's ringing. It's ringing. It's ringing. It's ringing No, it's great to see Yeah Good day darling. My name's Margaret. Is this the cleaning service? Yeah, great. Hey listen, how quickly would I be able to get Your services out tomorrow your house at the moment I've just got a bit of a mess and I'm sort of after quite a click quite a quick clean if you are available What was that sorry you're cutting out a little bit Sorry, I'm just reception wherever you are must be I'm quite terrible Um, do you mind maybe stepping outside or something? I just can't hear what you're saying. Yeah, I'm coming Oh, thank you so much. No, I really appreciate that. Yeah Sure, no worry, so my house is in G bung right it's a four bedroom house But basically the lounge urban kitchen area are the ones that need most of the focus. There's there's quite a bit of Quite a quite a mess More in the kitchen sort of area and there will be some sort of large objects that will need to be thrown out and Incinerated maybe yeah, so it's just pretty much two rooms that I'm after. Yeah. Yeah supporting small business. Yeah So basically just the two rooms. Yeah, I've just there's just quite a massive Quite a big mess at the moment and I've just sort of googled cleaners near me in a bit of a panic and you guys have popped up so Yeah, I'm currently at the house. Yeah, I'm looking at the mess and it's very overwhelming Do you have the sort of deep cleaning products that would remove? bloodstains from curtains There's quite a bit of splatter on the ceiling there's a little bit and there's a large pool of a Reddish liquid in the kitchen and the reddish liquid has sort of spread to the sum of the carpet So we'll need the carpet done and I've also got a Persian rug in the lounge room, which has got Red footprints all over it. Yeah, so I'm gonna really need quite a deep clean. Is that something you guys offer or? Right well, I can do my best to describe it to you how's that so basically there's one one body sort of draped On the kitchen floor and there's quite a large pool of blood in the kitchen I'd say maybe three square meters and then in the lounge room There's just some bloody footprints and just a few bloodied objects and a small amount of splatter on the ceiling Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, it's it's from the human. Yeah, so do you guys have Sorry, can you just repeat that man? I'm having trouble hearing you Right No, thank you No, that if we could not involve the police and that'd be ideal And it is not currently a crime scene. No, you guys are the first persons I've sort of called so yeah, I was just wondering if if you guys come out tonight. That's fine. Look, that's fine Okay, but I will have to look for some other Cleaness, but you'll just have to let me know if you're available in the next I can Half an hour Okay, great So if I send you my address you're free to come and clean the just to be clear one body one human body It should weigh about 83 kilograms And then just all of the blood from the kitchen the ceiling and the blood from the Persian rug in the lounge room Is that correct? You can dispose of the body for me That's fine What was that sorry mate Are you talking about my address? Yeah, look, I'll send it to you shortly. Um, let's just discuss pricing first What what exactly what exactly are you going to charge me? It's fine Fine, yeah, no, that's great. Look is cash. Okay for that and just to be clear There is a dead human being in my kitchen. Yeah, that's fine. I've just brewed my mind So I've just stabbed here that and there's blood splatter all over the ceiling. Is that all right with you? Okay, that's great. All right, no worries mate look I'll go ahead and to message you my address and then you Okay, yeah, no worries. No worries mate. I'll be in touch shortly. Hey No worries, mate Do you reckon he thought that it was real I think he was trying to get your address True, I think he was trying to is there a human body Oh I think he was like I'm getting this guy's address. I'm calling the cops dude Imagine if I just gave him like fucking one of our friends Fully got him swatted give him Jackson's address Understand him a bit as a receptionist. All right, there wasn't cut out a bit But then we got the there's some good bits. So that guy was fully he was either Going to call the police on me or he was coming to clean or He was trolling us a Third option hits the table that brown tenses his mints cooling in his core. Oh my god Very good Margaret's fucked. Hey, like she's rough. She has she has some really really Bad history. She's angry She's out of control She has some hate in her, but it's nearly a two hour long podcast We should probably wrap this up. All right guys, please comment like subscribe if we have you little make a little laugh Sam come out of your cunt fucking get on top of it and always drown rats Where the best best where the best I'm on a toilet Michael's closing sentence Fuck me. Okay. I reckon if you use fire alarms and they go off Take them off Just fuck that. Yeah, it's a good one. It's annoying the sound safety first That's the nutshell. That should just go for everyone. That's pretty awesome. I guess anyway We're the best where the best where the best where the best say it Matt Say it Matt. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best say it Matt Say it Matt. Otherwise your mum dies in five four three That's my fruit car