 Just last month, killer whales surrounding a boat sailing through the Strait of Gibraltar were met with loud noises and attempt by the crew to scare them off. The pod rammed the boat continuously for over an hour, managing to remove the rudder. With seawater gushing into the boat, the experienced crew of four issued a mayday call and were eventually towed to shore unharmed. In another recent instance off the coast of Spain, three orcas repeatedly struck a yacht, causing it to sink entirely after Spanish coast guards rescued the crew on board. Well comrades, I'm happy to report some very good news. It seems as if the socialist revolution has finally arrived, but the proletariat isn't rising up and eating the rich. Based orcas, however, are, and you just love to see it. Now this graph, courtesy of PBS News, includes data from a local network of sailors that reported seven sightings and nine attacks in the month of June alone, just in the Strait of Gibraltar. But this isn't a new phenomenon, because as Gizmodo explains, in early May, three orcas took down the Alboran Champagne, a Swiss yacht sailing through the Strait of Gibraltar. All four people who had been aboard the ship were rescued, but the ship wasn't. It was the third boat that orcas had sunk off the Iberian Peninsula in recent years. Just a few weeks later, the whale struck again, this time targeting another yacht, a 66 foot long British vessel called the Beauty of Clyde. This boat didn't sink, but was severely damaged according to the Independent. Both incidents come as part of a string of more than 250 run-ins, in which orcas have appeared to willfully attempt to wreck boats in the region, dating back to 2020. I'm sorry, but can we just pause for a moment? Orcas are targeting gigantic yachts. They are sinking Swiss yachts named Alboran Champagne. It doesn't get any more pretentious than that. And with these details in mind, how could you not root for them? I for one welcome our new orca overlords, and apparently others do too. Jay Buyan Twitter tweeted out solidarity with my orca comrades. Now additionally, Blametag writes, Have you guys seen JK Rowling's $19.2 million yacht? And by you guys, I mean orcas. And people are so stoked about the orca revolution that they even made a song about the orcas. Okay, let's just rate it in a little, okay? I also love the orcas destroying rich people's yachts, but making an entire song about them is a little bit overboard. Terrible. This terrible. But in all seriousness, they're not done harassing rich people, and they're now seemingly targeting American oligarchs, because as Gizmodo continues, on Sunday, a group of researchers surveying the seas from a plane spotted four whales just south of Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard in an area where orca settings are exceedingly rare according to a New York Times report. Elsewhere in New England, a fishing crew noted another orca in Cape Cod Bay near Provincetown, Massachusetts on the same day. But it gets even better because 20 killer whales were spotted off the coast of San Francisco, and I'm going to just assume that they showed up to do reconnaissance against the elites in Silicon Valley. It's the only logical explanation. So it's not just that the orcas have already sunk the yachts for rich people. They are now showing up to locations where we usually don't see them, and I think they're sending a message to these elites elsewhere throughout the world. They're putting them on notice as well, letting them know that their yachts are next. You'll love to see it. Now, you know that the orcas are a true threat to power because American news outlets are already publishing propaganda against them. For example, the Atlantic published a piece by bootlicker Jacob Stern, where he claims killer whales are not our friends, stop rooting for the orcas' ramming boats. Now just stop and think for a moment about how propagandized we are in this society, where we're being told that the orcas destroying rich people's boats is not something that we should actively root for. We should be rooting against it. No, I refuse. And the argument that he makes, in my opinion, is downright defamatory, calling these orcas sadistic jerks who quote, torment seal pups as a hobby. Okay, first of all, do some orcas torment seal pups as a hobby? Sure. But maybe the seal pup deserved it. Seal pups have reportedly attacked human swimmers, so maybe those orcas were defending their human comrades. Second of all, if orcas terrorize seal pups so frequently, shouldn't we be thankful that they're now terrorizing rich people instead? Right? I mean, aren't you happy that humpback whales, who oftentimes defend seals and sunfish from orcas, are going to now get a little bit of a break? Isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't we be happy that they've decided to direct their ire towards rich people and their yachts? Now, let me just say this article is outright slander, and I refuse to accept such broad generalizations about our excitation comrades. But on a serious note, the question really is, like, what's going on here? Why are these orcas doing this? Are they actually terrorizing rich people? And the truth is, we really don't know for sure. Maybe the orcas red marks, that's one theory. But marine biologists have a number of hypotheses. For example, Gizmodo continues, perhaps as marine mammal biologist Andrew Trites hypothesized to New York Times, the uptick in orca presence is the result of locally rebounding seal and shark numbers, i.e. more orca food, or perhaps something else is going on, referring specifically to the orcas being sighted around the United States. Maybe, as my colleague Linda Kodega has speculated, the whales are organizing. Terrible. Potentially supporting Kodega's thesis, the massive pot of killer whales that were partying it up in Monterey Bay also on Sunday, per a report from The Guardian, about 30 orcas representing 11 different family groups came together off the coast of California to splash, breach, and play. The little ones were wrestling and rolling like a bunch of puppies, Nancy Black, a marine biologist with Monterey Bay Whale Watch, and the California Killer Whale Project told The Guardian. Though the whales' motives remain murky, some researchers have theorized that the boat aggression is a learned behavior originating with a single female orca named White Gladus. Some headlines have framed the attacks as revenge attempts over a boat collision injury White Gladus may have incurred, though not all marine scientists are convinced. So basically, it's unclear why they're doing this, but I for one have not seen a single scientist explicitly rule out these socialist revolutionary theories. So yeah, take that for what it is. But what is clear, however, is that human socialists have been saying we should eat the rich for years, whereas orca socialists are actually doing it. It's clear which species has actually read Lenin, and I'll leave that there.