 The most important nonverbal I think that cannot be understated in this and we see it all the time and it's why we do video work is too much positive body language. Now on this podcast it's going to be a little bit difficult for us to go through this but this is going to be on YouTube as well. So the first the front half of me is positive body language. If I was shoulder to shoulder with AJ then we would be neutral to each other and then if I turned my back to AJ that is negative body language. Agreeable people who are looking for attention, approval and acceptance tend to go full positive to everyone they speak to to such a high degree that it puts too much pressure on the person that they're speaking to. This makes the other person feel have some anxiety get on them they're feeling tension and pressure in order to perform and entertain this person they're speaking to and so for them it will be easier to opt out of this conversation than to stay in it. So imagine your Iron Man with that that magical nuclear power driven heart and that beam coming from your chest is just shining directly on the other person non-stop. That's a lot. And at first it sounds well why wouldn't I why wouldn't I want to give the other person attention why wouldn't I want to show them that I'm interested in them why wouldn't I want them to know that I'm listening but as Johnny said we again are putting all of our focus on the other person we're shining this beam straight from our chest at the other person and all it does is actually repel the other person it makes them uncomfortable it's too much of a need to please the other person non-verbally. So we talked about shrinking making yourself smaller we've talked about fully facing someone the other one that we see a lot of on our video work in X Factor Accelerator is avoidance of eye contact. So you'll find yourself unable to look people in the eye for fear of judgment for fear of being found out or maybe just general discomfort. But again what that is signifying not only a lack of confidence but it's signifying that your needs are not that important you doesn't matter where you're looking like you're just happy to be there you know it's it's making yourself small in non-verbal ways that send a signal of a lack of confidence and actually elevates the status of everyone around you to your own detriment. I think the last one I just want to throw in there is when you're in the context of this communication when you're speaking to somebody that you're interested in or you want to prove love or that you like the other part is we have the full positive body language and then we have the eye contact going on but for the person who is putting the low value person who is giving them all the attention who is giving them all the positive body language it makes it hard for them to then be at their best verbally because they're giving them all their attention the attention and pressure is feeling between the two people and on top of that to get away from that tension of pressure they tend to self soothe so they'll close off and they'll be they'll become insular. Right you'll cross your arms and rub yourself touching yourself as self soothing grabbing your phone and putting your phone in front of you to block you clutching drinks into your chest right holding your drink close to you close to your heart even so another one that I want to point out in we have one client who we we've called him out a couple times on this and he didn't realize it but again he was in such a strong state of being supplicative around everyone just wanting them to like him you actually your vocal tonality changes and it ends everything on an upward trajectory and what ends up happening is you you almost sound like you're asking a question of the other person you sound unsure of yourself you're lacking again in conviction and confidence in what you're saying and in that you're basically allowing the other person's opinions views values needs wants to hold the power in any conversation so paying attention to your behavior patterns in the way that you speak your tonality the way that you carry your body and how you are going about getting this attention approval and acceptance from others by begging for it is one low value behavior pattern that we want to avoid especially when building relationships with people seeking high value people in our life