 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft makers of Belvita, the famous pasteurized processed cheese food that tastes so good and is so good for you. Yes, Belvita is another of the Kraft family of fine foods. Foods you can depend on for delicious eating, for wholesome healthy eating. So remember, to get the cheese food of quality, get Belvita the cheese food that's made by Kraft. Like the head of every family, the Great Gilded Sleeve enjoys hearing good reports about his little brood. Generally, people are fairly non-committal about his nephew Leroy, but when a good word is brought to him, the water commissioner really savors it. What did Mrs. Pettibone say about Leroy Birdie? Tell me again. Well, when I left in the market, she was still saying Leroy was a well-mannered boy. If you don't mind, let's start again from the beginning. Yes, sir. Well, she said the other day she's come now to the store with her arms full of packages, and Leroy tipped his cap and held a card door open for her. What a fine boy. Yes, sir, that's what she said. What a fine, polite, thoughtful boy. Well, that's quite a compliment, coming from Mrs. Pettibone. Yes, sir. Well, here he comes downstairs. Good morning, Leroy. We were just talking about you. You can't prove a thing. I demand a lawyer. I just heard some nice things about you. No kidding. Birdie was telling me. Hey, Birdie, how about breakfast? We're just waiting for you, Leroy. I'll go dish it up. Fine. We'll start with the fruit, Birdie. Leroy, aren't you interested in what somebody said about you? Pros again? Leroy, pay attention while I tell you how polite you are. Okay. It was very thoughtful of you to open the card door for Mrs. Pettibone the other day. Oh, well. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, my boy. You should be proud, as I am. Oh, for corn's sake. Let's eat. Yes, I was beggin' the next. Hey, can I have a couple extra eggs? You give them all you can eat, Birdie. Yes, sir. You sure are in a good mood this morning, Miss Guilty. Well, it's good to hear nice things about yourself, Birdie. About you? Yes. When Mrs. Pettibone complimented Leroy, she was complimenting me. I don't get it. What did she say about you? Well, she didn't exactly say anything, but she inferred that I've done a pretty good job bringing you up. How about that, Birdie? I open the door and he gets the credit. Well, I have to give credit where credit is due. Look how well I raise Marjorie. Yes, sir. Somebody's always been something nice about Miss Marjorie. You bet. And it's no accident that she's now a well-adjusted young woman. Happily married. And the foundations of a happy marriage are laid years before in the home. Uncle, if you keep takin' balls, you're gonna get your face in the bacon. Have you ever seen a happier couple in Marjorie and Bronco? They're happy all right. Look out the window. There's Mr. Bronco going out for the morning paper. Oh, heck, Piggy has a dog train to go out for the morning paper. Yes, yes. My boy, when you grow a little older, you realize not every home is as happy as Marjorie and Bronco's. Hey, Marge, listen to this classified ad I put in the newspaper. Oh, I'm dying to hear it. Read it, darling. Modern two-bedroom and den. Bath and shower stall. This is your dream house on easy terms. See Bronco Thompson's Summerfield Realty. Oh, it sounds so attractive. I wrote it. I just know you'll have people calling about it this morning. Yeah, well, I better get down to the office. Bye, honey. Bye, darling. Will you be home for lunch? I don't think I'll make it today, Marge. Oh? Yeah, I'm supposed to take a client to lunch. I got a deal on for the dance studio at Fifth and Grand. Oh, wonderful. I hope he buys it. Oh, well, it's not a he. Oh? It's a she. Miss Grayson's the first good prospect I've had. Miss Grayson? Yeah, Elaine. Elaine is her first name. Oh, that's the name of her dance studio. Elaine's. You've seen her ads. I'm not sure I have. Well, sure you have, honey. Learn the modern dances. Spend a delightful hour at Elaine's. And you're taking her to lunch. Yeah. She's branching out. Oh? Well, like I say, she needs a bigger studio. Well, if she wants to buy the studio, why do you have to take her to lunch? Why doesn't she buy it? Oh, Marge, that's business. You have to cater to clients. Is that why you're wearing your new suit? Well, yeah. She's the type who makes you feel like you ought to dress up. Why? Well, because she does. She's a pretty snappy looker, Marge. Is she young? Well, she's about your age. And a very snappy looker. Well, perhaps I'm not too attractive in my house coat, but after all, I have been getting your breakfast and taking care of the twins. Oh, now I gotta go. Goodbye, honey. Bronco. Yeah? It's strange you didn't mention this luncheon date when you came home last night. Oh, gosh, I didn't even think about it, Marge. You thought about it this morning when you put on your new suit. Well, this is all in the day's work. Oh, you take girls out to lunch and it's all in the day's work. You never take me out to lunch. Oh, look, how can I? You have to stay home and take care of the twins. Oh, fine. I stay home with your children while you take pretty dancers to lunch. Marge, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm not doing a thing. You're the one who's cavorting around. You don't even have time to come home for lunch to see your wife and children. Oh, for Pete's sake, Marge, this luncheon date's important. Oh, and I'm not, I suppose. I didn't say that. Well, you didn't say you had a date for lunch with this Elaine until I dragged it out of you. Bronco, what am I to believe? Oh, I don't care. I'm late for work. Goodbye, honey. Well, there goes Bronco on the run. He must be late for the office. Yeah, I guess he hated to leave his little life. Here comes Miss Marge across the yard. Oh, her face is mighty red. I guess she's baked in a cake. Yeah, happy little house life. Oh, Marjorie. Morning, Miss Marge. Good morning, Bertie. Uncle Mort, can I move back home? Uh-oh. Back home? Oh, for a day or so. What's the matter, my dear? Oh, there's nothing to matter with me. Well, who's that something to matter with? That big-lawed Bronco. Oh, did you have a little spat, my dear? We had a big spat. I thought Mr. Bronco was just late for work when he ran out of the house. Hi, Marge. Hello, Leroy. Do you know what he's doing, Uncle Mort? What's he doing? What's who doing? He has a date with a dancer. A date? A dancer? Who has a date with what dancer? No, Marjorie. You must be mistaken. Oh, I am not. He's having lunch with her. Who's having lunch? I just finished breakfast. Leroy, this doesn't concern you. How can I not hunger yet, anyway? The thing that burns me is that he wasn't going to mention it. Who was going to mention what? He put on his new suit this morning, and then it leaked out. What leaked out? Go on, Marge. Her name is Elaine Grayson, and he says he's selling her a dance studio. Oh, so that's it. That's what. It isn't that I'm suspicious, but why did I have to pry it out of him? Why can't I pry something out of somebody else? Leroy, if you must know, I'm moving back home. Is that him? No, Marjorie. I recall Bronco telling me he had a prospect for a dance studio. Well, he should have talked it over with me. That's all. I'm going to teach him a lesson. No, Marjorie. When he comes home, the twins and I'll be over here. Let him get his own dinner. What's Mr. Big Operator going to say to that? Where's the can opener? Marjorie's being a little unreasonable about this, but I'm playing it pretty smart. I refuse to get involved. Oh, say, I'm out of matches. Better drop in Phoebe's. Hello, Phoebe. Well, hello, Mr. Jonas Lee. What can I do for you today? Give me a pack of matches, Phoebe. Well, while you're at it, give me a handful. Is that all you want, Matthew? That's all. You're thanks, Phoebe. Don't mention it. What are you ringing up? No tail. Say you don't need cigars? Not today. Buying your cigars somewhere else and getting your matches here? Phoebe, you know I bought a box of cigars here not long ago. I thought if I could embarrass you, you might buy another box. Yes, yes. I just talked to Bronco a few minutes ago. Oh? He asked me to wrap up a nice box of candy and he dropped by for it. He and Marjorie having an anniversary? No, just a feud. How's that? You know how married couples have their little flare-ups? Oh, nah, yeah. It storms a while and it takes a little electricity to clear the air. Yeah, we had a little lightning over at our house last night. You did? I'm here to tell you, Mrs. Phoebe blew a fuse. Oh? She turned on the electric blanket and the cord shorted. Oh, my goodness. I didn't tell you I came out of there, Mr. Gildiff leaves like a cat out of a dog house. Well, I'll bet you did. I should have that cord repaired. Almost seems we're not sharing. Well, the fireworks at Marjorie's were a little different, Phoebe. Marjorie seems to be jealous because Bronco is taking a pretty client to lunch. She's Miss Elaine Grayson, the dance teacher. My, my. Bronco's only trying to sell her a studio, but Marjorie came running to meet. Oh, that's put to you on the spot. Oh, not me. I refuse to take sides. I'm too smart to get dragged into this. Here's Bronco for his candy now. Well, I'll just pretend nothing has happened. Hello, Mr. Phoebe. Well, hello, Bronco. Hello, Bronco, my boy. Good morning. Mr. Phoebe, I came by to pick up the candy. Well, it's all wrapped. Thank you. Taking Marjorie in a box of candy, are you? Yeah. Nice. Girls always appreciate getting candy. Yes, they do. Mr. Gildersleeve, are you trying to pretend you don't know why I'm buying candy for Marjorie? You have. I understand you and your niece have talked it over and she's moving back to your house. No, Bronco, that wasn't my idea. Oh, you apparently sanctioned it. You know, sir, I'm neutral. Believe me. Oh, how can you be neutral? You let her move back. Bronco, I couldn't turn my own niece away from the door. Could I, Phoebe? Yeah, I'm neutral, too. Mr. Gildersleeve, do you remember when Marjorie and I got married? Oh, yes, I remember it well. And so do I and Mrs. Phoebe cried. Well, if you remember, Mr. Gildersleeve, I took your niece for better or for worse. But I didn't know it was going to be this bad. What? Well, I didn't think her uncle would take the first opportunity to encourage her to leave me. Bronco, I had nothing to do with it. Mr. Gildersleeve, may I ask you a few incriminating questions? Go ahead. One, did Marjorie come running to you after we had our spat? Well, yes. Two, did you discuss her moving to your house with my children? Yes. Did you tell her to go back home to her husband, the man she took for better or for worse? Well, no. Yeah, and you say you have nothing to do with it. Oh, my goodness. Phoebe, he can't pin this on me. No, no, I wouldn't say that. The great Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. How long has it been since you've treated that favorite family of yours to a hearty main dish of golden macaroni and cheese? Too long, probably, if macaroni and cheese is as popular at your house as it is in most homes. So mom, have it soon and listen carefully because here's an especially good way to make it. Start by melting a half pound of velvita, craft smooth, melting, pasteurized, processed cheese food in the top of a double boiler and gradually stir in a quarter of a cup of milk. This mixture will be satin smooth in seconds because velvita always melts so perfectly, so easily. Now for a little different touch that will make this dish even more delicious, add a half a cup of sliced stuffed olives. Then season, add the cooked macaroni and bake in a casserole as usual. Velvita gives macaroni just the cheese flavor you want, beautiful, rich yet mild cheddar flavor. What's more, velvita adds lots of important nourishment to that main dish. Why, two ounces of velvita, the amount you get in an average serving of this dish, give you more of milk's vital food values than a big eight ounce glass of milk. Let velvita help you give your family more delicious, more nourishing meals often. Get a two pound loaf tomorrow. Just be sure you get genuine velvita. It's the finest quality cheese food you can buy and it's made only by craft. Well, the great gilded sleeve has learned a few lessons in his life and one of them is to avoid family squabbles. When Marjorie and Bronco had their little tiff, the water commissioner said he was going to remain neutral, high and dry. But now he's in over his head. Anki. Yes, Marjorie? Bertie tells me you saw Bronco and Mr. Peavey. Yes, I saw him. What did he have to say? Well, nothing much. What did you say to him? Nothing much. I'm not getting any deeper. You mean you didn't tell him how unreasonable he's being? What do you mean? You don't care what happens. You don't care if we never make up. Marjorie, what can I do? Why didn't you suggest he come by and see me? Well, it was a silly quarrel in the first place. How can you ask me to take sides? Oh, I'll never ask you to take sides. If an uncle won't stand up for his only. Zeke. No, they're both mad at me. Excuse me, now that the house is filling up again, you got any suggestions for dinner? Yeah, I'll leave it up to you, Bertie. Yes, sir. In fact, I may not even be here. No, sir. I'm getting a little bruised around here. I think I'll take Mrs. Ransom out to dinner. That should heal the bruise. It's been a little rough today, Bertie. Oh, poor Mr. Guest, Steve. He didn't want to take sides because he didn't want them to get mad at him. That's right. Then he got mad at him because he wouldn't take sides. Well, I couldn't take sides, Bertie. No, sir, you didn't take sides. You just took the middle, and that's where you are. In the middle! It was a little early to come to Leela's, but I didn't want to stay around the house with Marjorie looking daggers at me. How do I get into these things? Come in. Hello, Leela. I hope you don't mind my being a little early. Oh, gracious, no. That's why I'm already dressed. I knew you'd be early, you eager beaver. I'm a bush beaver this afternoon. Oh, you are out of sorts. You haven't even noticed my hair. Oh, nice. Looks like you've touched it up a little. Yeah, I mean, it sparkles. That's gold glitter. Who? I thought I'd tell you, so if you get some on your shoulder while we're dancing this evening, you won't think you've struck it rich. Well, Leela, I don't know if I'm up to dancing tonight. Oh, you must be tired. Did the water commissioner have a busy day at the office? Yeah, I've hardly thought about the office. Marjorie brought the twins and came home this morning. You mean she left that big, handsome Bronco? Well, for a day or so. She got upset with him because he had to take one of his lady clients to lunch. Oh, well, I can understand how Marjorie might worry about a good-looking husband like Bronco. I know how I felt when I was married to Beauregard. Beauregard? I'd almost forgotten about him. I haven't. Oh, he had the most gorgeous sideburns, Rockmont. And when we go to a ball, the Savannah bells were always fluttering their fans at him. They were? But they knew better than to look at my Beauregard a second time. Little Leela would have pushed him in the lily pond. Well, Marjorie had anything to really worry about. I suppose she'd put... Say, maybe she should have something to worry about. What do you mean, Rockmont? If she thought somebody was really interested in Bronco, she'd stop pouting and go home. Leela? Yes? Can you pretend you're a young girl? Well... I'll have you know that wouldn't call for an Academy Award performance. I didn't mean it that way. I'll get Bronco over home and you phone and disguise your voice. Me? He starts getting phone calls from girls while Marjorie's there. Oh, brother. If she's the woman I think she is, she'll put up a fight. You bet. You think you can change your voice? You mean you want me to talk like a Yankee? Well, just pretend you're a young... I mean an attractive girl from out of town who knows Bronco. Well, let me try it on you. Now, you pretend you're Bronco and we're on the phone. Great. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. That's that. Oh! This is Flora May. I'm back in town. Oh? I'm calling from the palm room. I have a table for two and there's only me. Can you come over and keep me company? You bet. I'll run over. You make me feel a little giddy. You see, why don't I call Bronco right now? Have him at my house at five o'clock. Let's get this thing patched up. Well, I don't want him to think I'm anxious, but why wait until five o'clock? Not much going on at the office. Why, Mr. Bronco, it's you. Hello, Bertie. Come in. Thank you. Is Miss Marjorie expecting you? Well, I don't know. There are a lot of things I don't know. What time has Mr. Bronco called on Miss Marjorie? Yeah, I guess it is. Why don't you go on in the parlor like you used to do when you was courting? Thank you, Bertie. Hey, look who's here. Hello, Leroy. Hi, Bronco. How's the battle going? The battle? I told you not to get married, but you wouldn't take my advice. Leroy, you keep out of this. Hey, here comes Marge. Hello, Marge. A kiss and makeup? Leroy, would you care to come out in the kitchen with me? Nah, I want to watch. How's everything, Marge? Just fine with me. How are things with you? Nah, just fine. Yeah, just fine. Well? Leroy, they want to talk. You scoot out to the kitchen. Don't for corny say. Miss Marjorie, Miss Bronco, want to be alone, don't you? Well, we might find something to talk about. Oh, you must have plenty to talk about, right, Miss Marjorie? Well... Yes, sir. I know you've got things to talk about. Hey, Bertie, won't you sit down, Bronco? No, I don't mind if I do. I'll sit over here. Oh, well, I'll sit over here. Is Mr. Gildersleeve around? Did you come over to see Yankee? No, not necessarily. Right, don't think he's home. Sorry if you're disappointed. Oh, Marge? Yes, Bronco? You're speaking in such a low voice I can hardly hear you. Oh. Do you mind if I move over on the couch by you so I can hear you better? Well, with the twins asleep, I shouldn't shout. Yeah, sure. I'll come over. There's plenty of room. Yeah, I always like this couch. It's been a long time since we sat together on this couch. It's been a long time since we sat together anywhere. It's only been a day. That's what I say, a long time. Oh, Bronco. Well, you suppose the time has just flown by for you? You know it hasn't, Bronco. Oh, gosh. I hope you sold the dance studio. Yeah, yeah. And I didn't even have to take Miss Grace into lunch. Oh? I just sent the contract over with the office secretary. He said sign them and she did. Bronco, you're wonderful. Oh. Oh, Marge, honey, if I wasn't afraid, I'd give you a big kiss. Oh, listen at the door. Leroy, you stay away from them. I want to be sure they're making up. Them little birds can't stay on the house very long. Let's just be sure nothing else happens. Hello, birdie. Leroy. Hi, I'm Bronco's here. Mr. Guilfeeve, I didn't expect you back. Well, Bronco's going to get a phone call and I wanted to be here. They're in the parlor trying to make up. It'll take them forever. I know how to handle this. Yes. Well, it'll Bronco gets his phone call. Marge, you'll be so jealous you'll never leave him again. Well, Bronco. Oh, Mr. Goldersleeve. Hello, my dream, my dear. Hello, honky. Never mind, birdie. I'll take it. Good old Lila, right on the note. Hello? Is he there yet? Rock my heart. You bet. Bronco. Well, yes, Mr. Goldersleeve. It's a phone call for you. For me? But now, Marge, I have nothing to hide. You take the call. But I don't want to take your phone calls, darling. I insist. Well, one of you take it. It doesn't make any difference which one. Well, all right. My goodness. Go and meet. You must have some reason for calling. I know you wouldn't be meddling. Margery, let me talk to Thrawn. That's a good idea. She wants to talk to you, honky. Me? Yes, Lila. Come on, Bronco. Yeah, let's let him talk. Yes, Lila. Well, Mr. Sane. Wait a minute, Lila. You certainly put me in an embarrassing position of all the cattle-headed ideas I ever heard. Why didn't you let me know they'd made up? What's Margery gonna think of me meddling in their face? Lila, I can explain. Marge, honey. Yes, darling. Aren't you glad we never argue like that? The Great Gilda Slave will be with us in just 30 seconds. Here's a honey of an idea for a quick lunch. First of all, fix your favorite easy fruit salad. Then make some sandwiches with velvita, Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food, and grill them till the bread is golden brown and the velvita bubbling hot. Mm, wonderful. Velvita has such a delicious, rich yet mild cheddar flavor. It's nourishing, too, and adjustable as milk itself. For grand sandwiches and snacks, get velvita, the cheese food of top quality, made only by Kraft. Right, George, Lila won't even speak to me. Nope. It was a big mistake to get her to phone Bronco pretending she was another girl. Yes. I was just trying to make Margery jealous, but she didn't fall for it for one minute. Nothing. Hey, young. Yes, Lila. I got an idea how you can get your girlfriend back. You go over to her house. Yeah? Get Margery to phone you and disguise her voice. That'll make Mrs. Ransom jealous. Leroy, that's the worst idea I ever heard. Yes, ma'am. Good night, boys. This week is played by Willi Waterman. This is John Easton saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food, about us. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Kilded Sleeves. You know, done up just right, a delicious hamburger can be truly a gourmet delight, a big deal in eating pleasure. Of course, just about every good cook knows that a dash of Kraft prepared mustard really makes a hamburger. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Kraft mustard naturally. There are two kinds of Kraft prepared mustard, mild Kraft mustard if you like it smooth and delicately spiced, snappy Kraft mustard with horseradish added if you like it zippy. Get both kinds of Kraft prepared mustard at your food store.