 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm your host, Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the five things or the five qualities all chivalrous men have in common. Real quickly, before I get started, this content resonates with you, and you feel like what I shared can help you in your life, please check out the links below, whether it's scheduling a one-on-one call with me or getting my free gift or checking out my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, please check out the links below. Okay, back to our topic, the five things all chivalrous men have in common. Now what's interesting is when I looked up the word chivalry in the dictionary, it relates to old England times of knighthood and some of the characteristic of chivalry represents courage, honor, and defending the weak, basically. So an element of chivalry has an element of taking care of the weak, and then to some extent, this represents the dating process in the sense of like opening a car door, maybe paying for dinner, doing things on some level because it represents a weakness, but that's not where I want to go today, and I don't even want to suggest that that's even true. Because women today are far more empowered than ever before, and while they don't need a man to open a car door, it's certainly a nice gesture. I like walking on the outside of the street. I personally like standing up when a woman walks in from, say, the restroom in a restaurant, and I'm sure you like those qualities as well. We look at those as gentlemanly qualities, but I want to go into a little bit deeper because in my world, chivalry is about emotional maturity. Let me repeat that. Chivalry is about emotional maturity. So in the dating realm, or certainly in the relationship realm, healthy relationships have a strong healthy dose of emotional maturity because when you see relationships that suffer or fail, it's because there's the person, whether it's a man or woman, has very weak emotional maturity, weak emotional skills, or what I really mean to say is relationship by Q are relationship skills, and that's a result of emotional maturity. So these five things that I just wanted to share with you starts off with the first one. What does a chivalrous man or emotionally mature have in common? First off, his actions match his words. His actions match his words. Much like in the book, the four agreements that talks about being impeccable with your word. If they say they're going to call, if they schedule a date, they keep the date. That's a sign of emotional maturity. And whether this is a man or woman, it's the same for both genders. Is your actions match your words? And while we are going to fail at times, is there a consistency? Does the consistent actions match the words that have been expressed? And while that's a little bit difficult to recognize in the early stages of dating, I just want you to be mindful of this and ask yourself, do your actions match your words? Okay, the second one is, does he take personal responsibility for his choices? And when I say he, this could be man or woman, okay? Do they take personal responsibility for their choices? Are they living in victim consciousness or victor consciousness? And what I mean to say is, we've all made choices in our lives. And oftentimes people choose to blame another person for their lot in life. And they even go as far as acting like a victim in the case. So I'm going to encourage you, ladies, from a dating perspective, is pay close attention to a man sharing his past experiences with respects to his last relationship or even his marriage. Does he take ownership in his part into the ending of the, I was going to say failure of the marriage, but I really mean the ending of the marriage. Or is it the other person's fault? The other person's fault. In other words, are they pointing the finger? Because what you're looking for is do they take ownership? And then if they point the finger, do they act like a literal victim from the experience? I know as a single man dating, I've talked to so many women who are literally putting all the blame on their ex-spouse for the problems in the relationship. And they take zero ownership, zero ownership on their part. And to me, that's a sign of emotional weakness or immaturity, I should say. Now that's not to say that the other person might not have been culpable in the ending of the relationship, but you have to take ownership for your part. And whether it's you or the man you're dating is listen to their languaging. Do they act like a victim? Or are they stepping into their empowerment and say, look, I made a poor choice in my life. I take ownership for my part in the ending of the relationship. And they had their certain culpabilities as well, okay? So that was number two. Number three, do they fight fair? Do they fight fair? And what I really mean here is do they have good conflict resolution skills? Good conflict resolution skills? The reality is, is men and women or boys and boys, girls and girls, you're going to rub each other the wrong way at times. And in relationship, you can certainly rub each other the wrong way a lot. So do you have the ability to fight fair? In other words, are you going to listen to the other person's point of view? And are you going to listen and accept their point of view while maybe sharing your point of view and asking that they listened to your point of view? And while you can maybe agree to disagree, a chivalrous person or emotionally mature person is able to step in and to listen and accept another person's point of view. Now, fighting fair also means treating a conflict in the context of, it's a conversation and not a confrontation. It's a conversation, not a confrontation. So if it's confrontational, it's most likely going to be problematic. And so oftentimes people that don't know how to fight fair, it's because they would rather be right than to be happy. Let me repeat that, they'd rather be right than to be happy. So an emotionally mature person would much rather be happy. And they will approach a conflict in that way. The fourth one is empathy. This is basically being able to feel someone else's feelings care about another person's feelings in relationship. And sadly, both men and women struggle in the area of actually caring about their partner's feelings. And we can even go as far as to say men have been suppressed in their feelings since they were young boys. We were taught to stuff our feelings. And a true chivalrous man or an emotionally mature man is able to appreciate and feel someone else's feelings or at least care about another person's feelings and to suggest it matters, okay? And the fifth sign, or the fifth thing of all chivalrous men have in common is transparency. Basically, when you ask them a question, they're not trying to deflect it. They're not trying to avoid it. They're not turning it around and making it your fault for even asking the question. Certainly, we see this in narcissistic behavior where they gaslight and they turn things around. And I'm here to say an emotionally mature person or a chivalrous person is going to lean into any questions. Now, they might need to take a little bit of time if you're asking something that they're not prepared to answer. So we might all need to take a little bit of space. But they're not going to avoid questions because transparency is a sign of emotional maturity. And certainly, this is respective in the sense of romantic relationships. So I just covered the five things that all chivalrous men have in common. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below if this resonate with you. If you have something to say, please share your thoughts. I wanna hear what you're thinking about this. Also, as I said before, if you'd like to connect with me directly and you'd like that personal touch, check out the link to schedule a call with me, check out my free gift, check out my book or check out my membership, Midlife Love Mastery. Okay, I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do, giving you a big gigantic job than bear hug if I have your consent. Thank you, wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much, bye bye now.