 Advoitufa for channel and at Brian Sakunwan on the hashtag Goa in the morning. Welcome back. This is the last conversation of the day and we are talking about matters of the heart and we've asked your question on our socials to non-guest stories are men loving or not loving Valentine's Day and I'd definitely like to hear your feedback on that one. It's an interesting comment down below here. And I said, well, be careful, bruh. Be careful. All right. This one says But it's about love. What's going on? Right? All right. This I'm a Potea. But yeah, continue to interact with us and let us know where you're watching us from. On X is Advoitufa for channel and on Facebook including Instagram as well. Now I'm being joined live in studio by Owen Odor. He's a student at Pioneer University Karibusana, bruh. Thank you very much. All right. Let's get into it. Still in a Valentine's. You know, I read somewhere yesterday that, you know, there's a men's conference being held. This is the day after tomorrow because on 14th it's on Wednesday. So this time round it's also going to be a big event. Where do you sit with it? Basically, according to how the economy is right now, I would think as a man. But at this particular point and the juncture of the state of the economy, so many men will tend to avoid the Valentine things. Because you see, it's now a moment whereby everyone is trying to at least reduce his consumption during this moment. So I feel like this men's conference is going to be full of people. Yes. Personally for you, are you planning to do anything on that day? Yes, personally as a man, of course as a man of interest in love relationship. I have plans for this particular day. I have my own plans with that lady on this particular day. So I'm sure. So you'll be gifting someone something. You know, the confusing part is a lot of people think that Valentine's Day is all about people who are dating or into a relationship. You could also be extending love to your mother, your father, your young sister or young brother or even elder or even cousin, even your grandma and your grandpa. So that's the confusing part. So the comment here, this is the comment I was looking for. It says from King Regi, it talks about, at the Valentine's Day, now I'm a man of interest in love. I'm a man of interest in love. I'm a man of interest in love. So it's always the man to gift. I think according to what King Regi is saying here, it's always the man to gift the women, not women gifting back. I don't know. What do you think about this comment here? I thought on that comment is very simple. You see, in love there is nothing like, it's the man who gives. It is a two-way thing. I give, you give me. But just as you said, you see, Valentine's is not something of the people who are dating, like the people who are engaging to be in a marriage situation of life. You see, Valentine's is about expressing the love. So it's me expressing love to the person I feel I love, or the person I feel loves me. So it can't be my mother. It can't be my brother. It can't be the lady I think I'll marry. The lady you think you'll marry? Exactly. Are you sure? The lady I think I'll marry, because you see, in life interest goes and comes in as you continue growing. So you find out you come to reach a situation in life whereby you may lose interest in the lady you think you are to marry. The lady may come to lose interest. You may come to meet another person whom you think it's the best than the person you are dating. So that is why I have told you it may be the lady I may be thinking to marry. But again, on Valentine's Day, I cannot be on the basis of celebrating one lady that I think I'll be marrying. It's celebrating the person I feel I love and the person I feel I love. You feel the love, not that it's... You know, you're talking like it's a one-traffic way. You feel you love and know that they love you, right? Yes. So it should just be you feel you love, not they love you. It's a two-way thing just as I've told you. Okay, you see love is a feeling inside you. It is not just waking up in the morning or calling a lady and telling the lady, I'm in love with you, I love you. No, it's the feeling that develops in the heart towards a particular person. So if you experience or you come to realize that you are falling in love or you are getting interest into a particular person, then that's love. So if things go unwell for you, boom, you are ready to share the Valentine's with the person. Let me ask you an interesting question. Let's go back to Marta's love. If somebody told you right now, I don't know who will be, but if somebody told you, I love you, if you were to break it down, this, I love you. There's some way I read that I love you from the wrong person can cause a mental breakdown. I don't know if you agree with me, but yes, I agree. I love you from the wrong person can create an emotional breakdown. So let's break this, I love you. If somebody told you, I love you, what comes to your mind is to tell you the word, I love you. And usually the response is, I love you more or for those that have no idea how to respond, it's like, yes, Sam, I can only imagine the way somebody tells you, I love you, and then you say, Sam. Exactly. They're not mad thing. Yeah, basically to me, the word I love you and I'm told by someone, what clings in my mind is that there is an impact towards this. There's an agenda towards this person speaking this word, I love you. It can be one of a good will to you and the second one, it can be a person that wants to take advantage of you. Or it can be a person that wants his own ambitions and has a mission towards you. So when someone tells me that word I love you from nowhere, you see, it creates suspicion in the mind and you get to think and get to realize what may be the reason behind this. So it is out of this judging and out of this thinking that will make you think and make you realize if the love was genuine or if the love was from a wrong person. And obvious, a love from a wrong person will result in emotional damage. Yuki tita kura rua. Okay. Let's also get into who should tell you I love you. Now that it's Valentine's Day a lot of people be told that I think on Google it will be the most used phrase in the whole entire world the word I love you or even also the word love. So who should tell the other I love you or also just in general in life who can tell you I love you from your experience? Okay, from my experience and from how I understand this thing the person that loves me or the person that should be telling me this word I love you is a person that maybe we may be having a contact with not specifically a physical contact but a contact of a particular duration. You see I cannot meet you today in the morning spend the whole day with you then I come in the evening and tell you I love you. It's possible. It's never seen people who met on the same same day they got married the following week and it's still happening ever after. Okay. Amma that happens in Disneyland. Okay that happens and I've felt and heard of such like scenarios but you see for my own perspective I cannot fall in love today and get married tomorrow because number one in getting into marriage and getting into a love relationship you have to understand the person you are with like you must understand the person characterise what the person likes so you can't learn all these within hours that is impossible. Maybe also we can go back to defining love before we get to stories of gifting etc you're in campus right and in campus for anyone who's been in any higher learning institution to say at some point you've dated or you've been into a situation for lack of a better word so in that in your experience the ones you've been was it love or was it a situation was just something that you had no idea and would you say that this person you met in campus maybe you're still with them I don't know I have no idea also do not know the right age for people to start dating but you can clarify on that as well from your experience was it genuine love or was it just a fantasy but I believe most of them are something called infatuations somebody is so obsessed with you you do something they understand maybe a little bit of your background but they don't know who you are so they just go ahead and say I love you and sometimes that's just on the surface but when the real you comes to you know to money first they will like no I don't love you I hate you they will hate you so strong one Yes so I understand your question very well and you see I'm in campus as you said one thing when you're in campus you have to set your own ambitions like your own mindset will be the one to salvage you out of all this because you see in campus there are these positions like beside being a student I also engage in political affairs within the school so you find that ladies within the school will tend to be attracted and tend to get attention to the people who are so much in politics because you see yes so so many will tend to be so close to you so that you can give at least a chance so the aim is only one you guys are in the office you're going to get some cash at the end of the semester so automatically I'll be benefiting from you so it's money oriented it's money oriented it's money oriented it's for enjoyment alright so that is why it's not like I'm not dating oh you're dating I'm dating so is it love or situation is it genuine love that is why basically I have answered that question in that particular manner so from yours from mine up to this moment I feel it's genuine love because you see I'm now heading to third year and these things started all over when I was in 1.1 I was afresh at that point first year first semester new in the school I have carried it out till now but now the most benefiting part is that it's not from the same university because you see you can never date a lady in the same institution that is why when I'm married to a lady we cannot work in the same institution is it bad to me I'll take it as good to date a lady out of the same institution what is the bad side of the same institution okay there is this thing it's very simple it's more of ironical but you see dating a lady in the same institution will lead to two things because you see for a man you tend to be need all the time so that you can appease the lady that's normal to be need it's normal to be need but you see kunaile time see there is that time when you have a lady you need to seek attention right now you are need you are not appeasing anyway that's a normal thing just let me explain it to you and I feel you will agree with me at the end of this because you see dating a lady from the same campus you will get to do things in the normal man nature that will make this lady realize you are a real man but as a result you have to prove a point that you are a real man because you see there is a big competition within this institution therefore since idea you are fellow friends those you called besties and whatever they will be attracted to this lady and you see a lady does not fall in love a lady develops love it's the man who falls in love take notes from how I believe it a lady develops love but a man falls in love so you see if the lady was able to develop love to you if you don't prove yourself the lady will develop love to us the next person so to me I felt it that at the moment I am trying to prove myself to this lady to other ladies so I am trying to prove myself which is normal which is normal yes but you see if you are a man with your standards and your visions and ambitions it's going to somehow damage you how you see at the start of every year every man puts a resolution in his life and at the start of every journey every man and every lady puts a resolution in its life in her life so you see if you already start messing up from the point you are sure to be failing yeah so that is why I was telling you when you try proving yourself it is at this point you get to realize oh I was in love with Elizabeth but now this lady called Dorotio Dorin is becoming so more beautiful than her like in the dress code so we find at this particular point we can attract someone all right check notes the body of the body the looks so you see men tall, dark, handsome, deep voice six parts are cut seriously as in who gives that whole package I thought I thought you walk the journey together okay to me it's not like it's new to me to be listening it's not new ladies will come tell you oh you know I need a tall, dark handsome guy but see men are not the same but it still proves the point I was telling you ladies develop love but also just stick there what is it with tall, dark and handsome whatever the other one is I don't know the taste it's all matter of the taste do you see yourself in that frame yes I'm tall I'm dark you guys are taking notes let's go back to story in the valentines I watched a conversation somewhere I think it was on a podcast and it was a Kenyan podcast and they're talking about the age and this are just jumping into a person without knowing who they are somebody is on social media they have a good profile, very attractive they've highlighted the work at a certain institution you know you get there and you're like hey let's meet up day 1, day 2 you get abducted tortured and then finally you've disappeared and it was in the name of love do you feel like in this generation especially right now a lot of people are not cautious they're not doing their homework or doing their reconnaissance let me learn this fast before you mentioned you just can meet someone today and tomorrow you're telling them I love you it will take time even if they're a monster do you feel like in this generation people fall in love easily and what can just make someone fall in love easily without even caring who they are, what they do and where they come from but I hear they ask that question a lot where do you come from why does it matter where you come from just to answer you I feel there is this thing that is pushing the youths to be really much falling into relationships that maybe are not working to my thought so this is a relationship based on mindsets so you'll find that in a situation whereby Owen is a guy from a rich family or Owen comes to school with Uba so you'll get to think there is this lady that will always be oh I like his lifestyle you see so we get to fall into the lifestyle of people so we fall in love with the lifestyle of people instead of falling in love with the real people and see this is what brings us into laziness and brings us to the repercussions of falling in love with the wrong person yeah maybe you can just explain how we are falling in love with the wrong person remember we've mentioned I love you I love you from the wrong person could trigger a mental health breakdown so who is this wrong person you fell in love with in that context of wrong person to fall in love with this wrong person you fell in love with is this person you came met into your life allowed him or her to be so much close to your life but you never took a chance to examine yourself at least know the person more before giving a yes or before moving into this relationship so there is this scenario whereby you now move into this relationship blindfolded then it is at this moment that you came to realize that now this is not a relationship but a situationship could you see after falling in love and giving the person an okay you will be thinking it's genuine love but yet there is a there is an agenda this man came with it on your life so you see this is the wrong person to you is giving you a wrong I love you for you to be lowered into him then as a result is going to mind something nice from you but you know you can be blindfolded you use the word blindfolded I think you can be blinded by you know what it looks like on the surface you might think this person is an angel you know I've never met someone like you I like your voice you know yada yada wa hala and all those things but at the end of the day this person is monstrous maybe they are narcissistic they have family issues maybe they were sexually abused in the past and it has never healed so the moment you start knowing them even higher and higher some of these things start manifesting as anger issues drama you know there's just people like they find things to so that they blame you so how do you break this cycle of this change of please let's just sit down and address the things you've been through Kwanzaa and then I can also alert you minds we can meet on the table now we can march and see if we can be coherent or not as just compared to you fell in love with this person because you like them first impression basic very nice you see that is why I told you in a relationship it all depends with the mindset you see as a human being as a man or as a lady you must have that thing called the mindset yourself your own mindset and your own standard because if you have your mindset set to a particular way and you have your standards and limits you see you can never get yourself in such like a situation because you'll be super cautious about yourself you are a person of principles so you have your own principles as a lady you have your principles as a man you have your principles for me to date such like a lady and reach in this particular situation with the lady I must know the lady very well maybe I alluded to your question where do you come from why does it matter to ask where do you come from okay where do you come from where do you come from it's very important you see I'm a low guy from Siaya but you see from my mother land it's very necessary to do that and especially when you meet a low it's very necessary to ask where you are from because you may be dating all along you are in love you are like madly in love with this lady then all of a sudden at the moment of introduction you get to realize this is your cousin this is your sister so when you come from really matters or even the better side the president's daughter who wouldn't be surprised I come from state house on the president's daughter but to me to me it doesn't necessarily matter it doesn't matter where they come from to me doesn't necessarily matter so long as you see as a man you must understand you and lineage very well you must understand where you are coming from then when you meet a lady you see when I meet you and you tell me I'm the president's daughter you see I'll not be dating you genuinely I will not be dating you genuinely what will make it not dead genuinely because you see I may be under some pressure of sorts because you see when you are already in love with the president's daughter you are very sure the probability of you ending up with this lady is very limited very limited you see there are these wealthy people who set their own standards for the people who can marry their daughters so for your own peace you have to consult yourself out of your standards and out of your mindset if you are full enough if you are convinced that you are really madly in love with this person then there is where now you beat the parents out of her what if vice versa like the president's daughter reaches out to you and says I want you to marry me you must understand the ambitions of the president's daughter to you first you will not be running there with all your family and no you can't run now I'm now in love with the first daughter meaning they are inezakuramba inezakuramba kifika ben what could possibly happen in that situation as we move away what is the worst that can happen you see in such a scenario what if the president just wakes up in the morning decides that my daughter is going to Netherlands which is fine they do that all the time but you see here is a lady I used to study another book that I used to study another book of a rich daughter who fell in love with a comrade like me then as time went by as these people graduated I told you at the start that ladies develop love so me from my own perspective if a lady tells me I'm in love with you she must understand the ambitions of the lady with me first anezakuramba hidden motive exactly I'm trying to imagine what it could be exactly the lady might be having a hidden motive the lady might be genuine so for you to give in you must carry out your experimentations exactly okay all right now when is the which is Valentine's Day so some for you to just find someone today and to a point when is the you guys are linking up for a date it's very impossible very impossible very impossible to me because you see just as I told you love is not a one day thing or another thing I can't just wake up in the morning because I saw a lady who is not skinny a lady who is blessed lady who knows how to carry out herself and I fall in love the next day it's very impossible to me what if it's your soulmate because I hear you can even meet your soulmate today and tomorrow you guys are tying the knot and I don't know if you've ever had stories of soulmate I've had stories of soulmate but you see if I meet you today we are not going to celebrate this Valentine's Day with you you celebrate alone I'll celebrate the next one with you because I need time that is the next year it's too long but you see there are so many occasions in within a year before the other one reaches so if it was genuine and you are my soulmate as you proclaim or as the situation proclaims itself you see before the next one reaches I love understood the kind of lady you are because you see for a man it's very necessary for you to understand the kind of lady you are dating you cannot just be blind in a relationship in a scenario whereby after taking this lady and you are with her kwa nyumba as a man you can see the real characters of the lady it's very weird to me it's very weird on Wednesday still to stick up on Wednesday there are so many things that happened during that day apart from seeing people cross the streets in the evening with flowers bouquets of flowers left and center those that go to the extent of event you will see celebrities surprising the other half with fast class concierge cars those that will be doing houses today I am doing a house something unveiling for my other half for a basic just a common one inch man what are some of the possible things good things that they can do for their better half so maybe just to maybe in line with their budget and also maybe just what they do for a living what can they do so that their other half feels appreciated wonderful question indeed you see just as you as you said for the normal man inch you see here is a scenario of the financial status of yourself so for the normal man inch feel like you can afford clothes you can afford shoes you can afford the necklaces watch flowers so obvious they are very cheap these days see you can just in one evening just move to town take a bucket of flowers then it's a surprise you see anything is a surprise say watch the lady didn't expect that the lady didn't expect that a cloth, a dress it's normal what about eatouts do they count as a gesture of love that day you see you can take a lady for a date out of house that is basically a hotel so you are taking this lady to a new place that she is not used to or maybe she is used to but not with you not with you not necessarily some would be else you see families are different to my guy so you find a family whereby the father or the mother takes children so she has ever once been there but maybe with the family members but now here you come exactly maybe in the past she dated somebody who also did the same to her so you see twice not new but in how you are going to bring it out will be new to her like for a man you have to be unique if Peter does this thing this way Owen must do this thing alright let me sample two comments and then we exit yes here it is from Peter Peter Kinaro I see my name is Vansha Kambinari I have been here for 10 months 10 months conference but it's still there alright Yasmin Faza kafia boy Valentine's Day I've never had a good feeling when I was in that business when I've been going out to the club when I was in the company I think that's in relation to that topic good morning good morning the last one here presenter Konaksi Tanajita Ratcha Ratcha Jose alright thank you if you have any question tell us in the comments ma buka wa ingo Is it a bad thing? Does it water down masculinity? Because you participated in a love shebang? No You see to me, celebrating valentines if you have a reason to celebrate it Oh it's a celebration, it's not like marking an event No, it's a celebration and you see it's being appreciateful to that person So it's more of an appreciation So I don't see where by where it could be so vague and so bad for a man to celebrate valentines because after all you are still a man it doesn't change your form So what's his name? Ameriksna and Rukibe Kabisa If you have a reason to celebrate it you see most of the men we take it wrong we take it just that I need to celebrate valentines with the lady that I feel or with the lady I love forgetting that it's appreciation for the people you feel you love or the people you are in love with I can be in love with my mom she has done wonders for me I can be in love with my dad Will you appreciate her on Wednesday for being your mom? Exactly, that is questionable What about dads? I understand about mums Nobody ever mentions dads I love you I saw a skit somewhere We are supposed to exit Thank you so much for your insights I can't continue on Owen Odora Student from Panyu University Thank you for coming through Thank you We'll see you tomorrow And innovation No innovation and entrepreneurship We have changed things by the way So see you tomorrow