 Wheel of Time Season 2 is upon us and boy oh boy lucky us they dropped the first three episodes count them three episodes for the first weekend which was a lot to get through let me tell you. So we're gonna do the first three episodes all in one video! Before I get started breaking down each episode I would just like to say that I really feel like Season 2 would have benefited from a Star Wars-esque title crawl because we open on our characters being in completely different places from where they were when we ended Season 1 with no explanation of how they got there or who they are currently with. So I'm gonna do my best to tell you where they are and what they're doing but the show doesn't really tell you where they are or what they're doing so yeah. Episode 1, a taste of solitude. We open with zero context on some kid somewhere in a house this kind of star shape so that's cool being chased by beasties so she hides under the table that the grown-ups are having a meeting at and the grown-ups are talking about our boy Hollister and one of the grown-ups appears to be insurance dude that Hollister killed last season? What? Somehow he survived. Insurance dude asks her if she's hiding under the table because there are monsters and then starts monologuing about how unfair it is that he and his pals get labeled as monsters. Speaking of his pals if we take a look at who else is around that table wearing black hoods which if I'm trying not to appear to be sinister I'm not sure that that would be the look I'd go for but anyway one of them takes off his sinister black hood and it is none other than salesman dude who was monologuing about the dark side last season. He smiles very reassuringly. Insurance dude takes the kid outside and continues monologuing at her. He wants her to meet one of the beasties to show her how wrong she is to fear them and he teaches baby bell to see the beauty underneath this beast. A tale as old as time. Then we cut to not Galadriel at some well somewhere. She's going through a rough patch I guess after last season. She decides to indulge in a little bit of well-earned self-care by taking a hot bath but being in a hot bath that she couldn't heat with the power of her mojo is super triggering. Simp meanwhile can't train either because he's getting really emotional or is he feeling her emotions but her mojo is turned off so he can't feel her emotions right or is it only the geolocation that's turned off for good but he still can feel her or is he just like going through his own thing right now? I need to know who's feelings he's feeling. Anyway, some cougar is watching Simp and Cougar's roommate wants to know what not Galadriel is up to but Simp says that she doesn't tell him anything either. Is that why he was crying? A visitor from Outlander is here to see not Galadriel but Simp isn't invited to the meeting. Awkward. Anyway then we cut to Cliff doing some chores over at headquarters. She almost walks in on one of the girl bosses having some fun. Whoops. Mean Girl is also doing chores and true to form she is already miffed about something. You see last season the head girl boss told Mean Girl that she's like super special and the thing is she's not being treated like she's super special. She has to do chores just like everybody else. Cliff's like um get off her high horse. Even head girl boss used to have to do chores. Girl boss who Cliff almost walked in on comes in to give them the day's lesson which means they can stop doing chores so yay. Not yay? Okay. So everyone gets a glass of dirty water and everyone's got to drink that glass of water before the end of the day. So what they got to do is use their mojo to clean the water. So what they do is what you do is you tap into the earth side of your mojo and also into the water side of the mojo and then you mix the earth and water mojos together making the water mojo dirty with earth mojo and then you pour the actual dirty water through the dirty mojo water that like cancels it out. So so now when you pour real dirty water into mojo dirty water it out comes clean water. Yeah that makes sense but now it's Cliff who's too good for doing lessons. Mean girl's like yeah we're too good for this. Girl boss tells them that big stuff comes with practice. You got to walk before you can run. They want to be flattening army single-handedly. They got to start by ironing out the small stuff but now mean girl thinks that that kind of power is too much for anyone to have so she doesn't want to do little stuff because because that's that's silly and little but she doesn't want big stuff because that's bad and evil so she wants medium stuff. Mean girl refuses to do the lesson. Everyone is shocked and if that means that she's got to drink this dirty water as is well fine then we cut to the girl boss teacher's conference. Red wants a turn teaching mean girl but the principal of the girl bosses is like um no not since he killed one of your trainees. Okay but like if red isn't allowed to train any of them why is she in the teacher's conference? Anyway red is like gal's bad times are nigh though. The hunt for the horn or something. We need all the help that we can get and um bad bad things. Badness is coming so so yeah give me a chance and the principal's like fine whatever. Then we cut to Hagrid. He's alive. I would have sworn that he was dead last season. Anyway wife list is moping about not being able to be with his friends and his friends are all gone. Anyway Hagrid reminds us that the hunt for the horn thingy is is a thing. That's the second time someone's mentioned this. I suspect it's important. Hagrid starts nagging eyepatch but then rut roe the vampire from twilight is standing in their path. Eyepatch is pretty pissed at vampire and he's like hey you're signal fire it's it's gonna give us all away. Wasn't me. So everyone gets off their horses so they can have a good close look at the dead bodies lying on the ground. You can't can't see that they're dead. You're still on your horse. Wife list starts wolfing out but also he can see the past. Is that a thing that wolves can do? Vamp keeps staring at wife list. I guess vampires don't like werewolves any better in this universe. Then we cut back to Galadriel's meeting with Outlander Man and he's showing her his rock collection. Okay I know what this kind of stone is and I know that it's kind of rare. Why do you think I care? Because it's unbreakable. Yes and and it's broken. And then not Galadriel who knew what kind of stone this was and therefore must have known that it is unbreakable and could have easily seen that this was broken is like oh. Then we get back to Simp who's picking tomatoes and chatting about his feelings. Wait no sorry he's talking about her feelings which I guess he can't feel anymore. Apparently now that she has no use for him anymore she wants him to fuck off. And uh he's he's kind of sad about that. Anyway back to Galadriel who's suddenly very interested in the broken rock. There was something written on like the big thing that it was broken off from and it turns out that the big thing what was written on it in blood was a poem and Outlander has got a copy like of it transcribed. So he starts haggling. He wants like a whole bunch for the rock and he'll throw in the poem for five more. For a poem? Well Mal you're dreaming. Okay fine one for the poem. So she pays him one for the poem. This is all I need. Oh so she was playing dumb. Oh nicely done. Ah he takes this surprisingly well. He tells her about the bad dudes following him that he thought she sent but she says she didn't but then she's she's more interested again in the the dudes that he said were following him. He's like yeah they're like bad and they wear like evil cloaks and don't have faces and she's like ah shit here's like a whole bunch more money um so that you can get out of here. Okay so he asked for five marks for the poem and she was like that's ridiculous. I could buy like the finest horse in the land for that amount of money to like give us a sense of like the value of currency so like okay I appreciate that but now she's given him 10 marks for provisions for like getting out of here. I feel like that's either exceedingly generous or inflation is hitting them harder than it's hitting us. Uh then we cut to mean girl training with some other simps. I think these are the ones that Cliff almost walked in on. Charming as always. She tells the simps of the girl boss who did the water lesson. I know you love her but she's a real piece of work. She's a face of work. I would say that was the pot calling the kettle black but like literally what has girl boss done. Anyway the simps tell her that the training here in headquarters is going to push you through a lot. It's going to push you through like literal torture and they're like personalized tortures but like it's it's definitely worth it but but she's got to like commit to that and like get ready for that. She's not reacting well to just filtering water so how do we think actual torture is gonna go? Anyway then we cut to Cliff knocking on girl bosses door. Come in um but like are you having a threesome again? A way to make sure that no one forgets that you almost walked in on them. A thing you definitely want to keep bringing up to your teacher. I said come in didn't I? She joins her teacher on the rug for office hours. Okay so I honestly had trouble paying attention to the scene because the fruit that she's holding I thought that it was changing into a different fruit. I was wrong about that but she is holding it so differently between scenes that it kind of looks like a completely different fruit and that really distracted me. So I think they talked about threesome's and had a really stupid misunderstanding where Cliff's asking about the water lesson and and the girl boss is like oh you're definitely asking me about threesome's and then Cliff's like god no I'm talking about the water lesson and the teacher's like sensuously eats pomegranate. So yeah I'm sure that scene was was very important and I missed a lot there. Anyway cut to me and girl who's decided to do the water lesson after all just like on her own like like a makeup assignment but then red comes in and starts nagging her starting to think that Mean Girl might fit in with Red's crew. Then Red full-on attacks her that escalated quickly. I guess I can see why her previous students died. Red reminds us that Reds don't need dudes. Dudes are gross, dudes are useless, dudes are basically glorified guard dogs. Mean Girl doesn't really react to any of that so so Red's got to like up the ante and be more specific so she goes straight for the one dude Mean Girl I think still likes not Galangial simp and Mean Girl does lose it at that point. The other girl bosses think there's only one way to girl boss. Let me show you the red side of the mojo. Then we cut to a wifeless being upset that the the horn quest squad are um are burying the the bad guys. A wifeless then talks for more than he ever talked for the entirety of the first season. It was at this point that I realized that I didn't actually know what his voice sounded like until that point. Anyway he's talking about how salesman dude was like seemed really nice when he visited their town but then he like turned out to be evil so like who do you trust right? He's he's real broken about that so. There's a rage inside of me. Then we cut to simp checking in on not Galangial. How did it go? Who was he? A sailor. Why was he here? What did he want? Nachos. Nachos? Nacho business. Okay well I'm gonna have my dinner in my room tonight. I missed the part but that's my problem. These two are great communicators. Then we cut to Mean Girl Visiting Cliff with a letter from WifeLess. I'm not saying that he couldn't have sent a letter that that would be impossible but he's like riding in the wilderness with the horn quest folks hunting bad guys on horseback. So like is there like a well-established like courier network in the land that easily can deliver your post? Or is he personally seeking out strangers or established couriers and paying them to take these extremely important missives to his friends who are in school? If so where is he getting the funds for that and is is it that important? Anyway the really really important message that he sent somehow to the headquarters for them is that he misses them and he hopes that they can organize a get-together real soon. And maybe Gambler will be there too wouldn't that be nice? I can see very very urgent message. Speaking of Gambler we next cut to Gambler and his new face. Looks like he's a prisoner of red. This must have been what not Galadriel wanted right? Because she specifically told that lady in season one to like send a message to Red to find Gambler. So yep I guess this is what not Galadriel wanted. Anyway Red has so much free time in her schedule that she can just spend it poking through Mean Girls Mail and then taunting Gambler with her lies about what's in the letter from Wifeless. How his friends don't don't care about him and yeah that's what this girl boss is spending her time doing. Anyway cut to Wifeless celebrating Tangleday alone. Cut to Gambler lifting a lamp. Cut to Cliff crying over Hollister. Cut back to Gambler rearranging his furniture. Then back to Mean Girl promising or threatening to never leave Cliff. Then back to Gambler poking his wall. Then back to Mean Girl and Cliff also celebrating Tangleday. Then we cut to Hollister? He's alive? I mean we the audience knew that but imagine if we didn't how shocked we'd be. Anyway he's also celebrating Tangleday. Then we cut to Simp having dinner with their new roommates. Again I would tell you who these people are but there was no title crawl so I have no idea. Anyway he's decided to set out a plate for not Galadriel even though she said she was gonna have dinner in her room and he wants everyone to wait to eat until until she comes to the table even though she told him that she wouldn't be doing that. Anyway Cougar's roommate she decides to explain to Simp that being cut off from your mojo is the same as SA. So anyway they tell Simp that he needs to talk less and listen more. Real talker, famous for that. He does also find this ironic. Anyway because of this lovely chat Simp decides not to make them wait for not Galadriel to have dinner he's gonna take her plate to her. She doesn't appear to be in her room so he sets her plate down on top of some fragile-looking parchment. Speaking for myself if someone set a plate for me down on my papers I'd be pretty pissed. Like Cougar couldn't move them. Anyway then we cut to not Galadriel who's actually saddling a horse because she's planning to like sneak on out of there and ride away alone. At night without her mojo which seems to me like a very bad idea but I guess she knows what she's- oh fuck Goldie's here. Oh no I bet you wish you had your mojo or anybody else with you. But um she's just taking care of business scooting some dirt around with her foot that that'll help in some way I'm sure. Oh she stabbed one in the throat nice one. Ah fuck the other one stabbed her in the belly. R.I.P. Nakal- oh Simp is here! To the rescue! Oh shit Simp got stabbed a bunch too. R.I.P. Nakaladriel and Simp. Oh wait Cougar's room is here! To the rescue! Simp who's bleeding out and possibly dying turns to not Galadriel who's bleeding out and possibly dying. What aren't you telling me? Those wouldn't be my first choice for last words but I've heard worse. On to episode two. Strangers and friends. Okay like is it just me or does this like thumbnail for episode two of season two look like a modern day music video for like a pop star or something like this is not giving high fantasy adaptation. We open on Hollister who has killed all of his friends. Oh just kidding that was a dream. Ooh la la he's with a girlie that isn't Cliff. Then next morning Hollister strolling around town munching looking much more confident man about town living his best life. We stand then he heads to Bedlam then we cut to Simp and Nakaladriel are alive and look completely fine not even in bed they're just just chilling looking just maybe a little hung over uh the team at the house has decided to join Nakaladriel and go with her to headquarters which is like I guess where she was headed I've been kicked out I know then she leaves where are we going headquarters but how's someone else prep my horse you're too weak to do it because he tried to save your life and then almost died do they not teach gratitude at headquarters we cut to the questing crew Empire is walking ahead while everyone else rides slowly behind him very efficient way to travel and we got to check out this house that vamp says is super sus wifeless starts hallucinating again and uh and then they find a voldy strung up and tortured and we cut to Hollister in Bedlam he's smiling creepily at the crazies being crazy I think they were going for like kind and sympathetic smiles but honestly it's just giving Ajax from Deadpool anyway so he takes the crazy man for a walk and everything is nice until this bully comes over and triggers crazy man's PTSD that wasn't very nice we cut to Cliff at headquarters doing her chores uh but but she can't find Mean Girl because Mean Girl was taken to watch a girl getting healed but um it seems like Red only did this because she wanted to steal some poison uh after they witnessed the amazing healing Red decides that this is a good time to make the point that healing is pointless and stupid why would you heal people when you could kill people instead and then and then Red buys some pastries and takes them to Gambler who's still locked up somewhere Gambler suspects that the pastries are poisoned so he sticks his finger in the jammy center licks it and then doesn't eat them huh you know as soon as she leaves it's back to rearranging the furniture so I guess he's trying to escape by scraping the stones in his walls but like the wall that he's chosen is very obviously an interior wall like there's a wall on the other side with a window on it which doesn't definitely but much more likely leads to the outside but he's gone with the sidewall which if I had to guess would probably just lead to another prison cell but okay and we cut to Cliff wandering around uh and she discovers the new kid on the block who appears to be a spoiled princess but princess is um a real talker my giant room is basically the size of a closet oh are you new oh yeah your room is full of junk too huh oh this is your stuff uh oops oh look a blanket that I happen to know all about because I studied the town it's from I didn't think they'd let me live with the normies because I'm special oh do you not like know who I am oh my gosh so many epic team ups have started between dorm mates what do you think are we destined to be besties lady you literally met this girl maybe two minutes ago can you chill cut to the girl boss staff meeting fruit lady says that what red wants to do is too dangerous simp one then kindly reminds the audience of what it is that red wants to do then the principal reminds the audience that the mojo is strong with me and girl in case you forgot that but fruit lady points out that the mojo is only strong with me and girl when she's either afraid or angry as we all know fear leads to anger anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering simp one says exams could kill her because a lot of people die during exams and fruit lady's like okay but the real question is why is gen z stronger with the mojo than us millennials it's not fair simps are like yeah for real not just mean girl it's all of them oh I guess that question was rhetorical the pattern is giving us weapons to fight uberbatty okay so then red's plan of training mean girl to fight you're good with it I missed the part where she's my problem well red has called an all hands meeting so she's making it everyone's problem which uh includes you fruit lady unless you're planning to bounce no comment so uh are we sticking around or bouncing not galadriel needs us wait how would she know that is she also sending letters through the apparently vast courier network in this land we cut to mean girl who is trying to see red because she was told to come by and see red by red but the other trainee is like oh she just left but if you hurry you might catch her so mean girl walks extremely slowly down the hall wait a hustle oh wow she just disappeared but then mean girl easily discovers the secret door and then we cut to mean girl at the market still looking for red I guess cut to the questing troop questing yep that fish stinks oh that's so nice first drink is on the house what I actually really like stinky fish vamp is just like awkwardly lurking you coming I prefer to sleep under the stars okay I'm pretty sure they're just headed in to have dinner but uh I guess it's nap time for for you which makes sense I mean I suppose you'd want to sleep during the daytime so I'm honestly impressed that you're up this late then we cut to not galadriel belatedly celebrating tangled day Cougar's roommate decided to tell her that she knows things not galadriel grabs a knife what things Cougar's roommate notices the knife and is like okay good yeah I just wanted to scare you a bit see if you'd immediately try to attack me for knowing things uh good glad glad to see your adequately paranoid to kill a friend but not cautious enough to avoid writing out at night alone I need you to swear loyalty to me lol no that's not happening but I will find you some books not galadriel broods let me cut to a town somewhere having a good time oh holster is here being a wallflower an angry wallflower so bully is drunk and a holster has decided to make that his problem so for being kind of a dick to the crazy guy holster has decided to beat the bully to within an inch of his life overreaction much uh oh his mojo is activated by his anger quick he returns home to his new girlfriend not tonight actually yes tonight no means no or not cut to cliff giving a tour to princess oh you didn't really need a tour did you now I basically grew up here wait but then why were you confused and surprised by the size of your room when you arrived if you like know every inch of this place who let's servants in here I'll um who I'm not telling if someone needs to be punished punish me can do beatings every morning for the next three months before breakfast or after oh my god she's so brave where's mean girl I don't know well tell her to get her ass to my office I'm so sorry you had to witness that horror please I wish I'd gotten trouble they only care about mean girl they get to the princess's bedroom and all of her stuff is gone well you were complaining about the mess we cut to red sneaking around at night mean girl follows her she's got a real habit of stalking people through cities at night the red is headed for the bedside of a sickle man mean girl decides to allow herself to be seen and caught red is not happy sorry um I assumed you were trying to kill him my bad get out he's in pain uh the so you're doing it wrong um what he needs is get out and then red cries over the dying man being in pain because he's gonna continue to be in pain because she just yelled at mean girl who was offering to help and and now she won't be able to help because you kicked her out so so old man is gonna keep being in pain and it's your fault and you're sad you can't help him and said that you're preventing the person that might be able to help him from helping him and now he has to comfort you crying over the fact that you won't help him cut to gambler working on that wall some more but then he's he's broken through at last and uh is surprised that it is in fact another cell on the other side what did you expect a barkeep from marine is next door and uh they're gonna share his spoon cut to not glad rule and co reminiscing around a fire cougar wants to know about how they first met rar not glad real says that uh she was stalking him uh he noticed and uh he thought that she wanted to um essay him cougars into it simp was gonna try to kill her uh so he threw her in a pond and simp throwing not glad real in a pond is what convinced her that he's this he's the simp for her anyone can protect you from a beastie but only the special ones can protect you from yourself please no one help me in that way then we cut back to gambler and vibe check barkeep uh they have broken through a substantial amount of that wall damn who knew one spoon with two people could do all that in one night barkeep tells him about her vibe check thing um but he's not that impressed no killing lame she sees a vision of future gambler gutting holister too bad he's already dead as far as anyone knows so that's impossible then we cut to holister and his new girlfriend hello talk she likes being with holister because she could pretend he is someone else just whatever guy wants to hear but uh he thinks of someone else too when he's with her she wants to know who he thinks of and he's like someone i wish i could forget aw he's thinking of cliff then we cut to a princess sharing her moonshine with cliff princess no is all about mean girl people say she's super powerful is this like worldwide gossip uh cliff's jelly that everyone only seemed to care about mean girl cliff does all of her homework and no one cares mean girl doesn't do anything and everyone loves her because she's brilliant but uh oh mean girl's eavesdropping where's mean girl when i really need her off doing her own thing what do you mean when you really need her you're just doing chores what would you need her for um it sounds like you're jelly uh no i'm a princess have i mentioned that um i know jelly when i see it cut to red coming to see mean girl she is still miffed about her trying to help the old man oh but it's time for entrance exams then we cut to simp snooping in knock aladriel's purse finds that poem and uh keeps it oh knock aladriel's coming um i i i messed up the the voldies i i should have sensed them actually i messed up you see last season we didn't defeat uber baddie we actually set free his henchmen so let's deal with it together like with everything actually we don't deal with stuff together because um because i don't tell you things you mean we've never been in this together no also when i went off alone without you and then you came after me anyway and did end up saving my life um you also got injured so your failure and i have no need for you so goodbye forever cut to wifeless in the village getting attacked uh good thing you gave up on pacifism am i right Hagrid is in trouble oh no wifeless to the rescue then the armada ladies enter and boom everyone goes flying blown away by their wind powers but somehow none of them are dead and everyone's actually fine and then enters the mouth of saran accompanied by insurance dude then cut to holister snacking on his way to work again bully couldn't report for work because someone beat him to a pulp the night before uh that means that holister gets his job dang didn't realize he was that cutthroat about getting a promotion so anyway he's been upgraded to taking care of fake 2.0 from last season looks like holister wants to collab episode three what might be we open on mean girls exams so the tldr is that she has to face three bogarts do this for you or not at all you see we here at girl boss academy want to make sure that you come out of here as selfish as possible now strip but not completely this is a family show can't have sleeves though when you when you go through the bogart arch bogarch if you will so here's gonna face her greatest fears fear number one a field of wheat with her dad in it terrifying some dudes start attacking they're running away mom saves them back to the house oh this is this is her her child this is when she had to hide under the floor when the whole ass army decided to slaughter her parents and not bother to look for her at all so i guess she feels guilty about that but yeah another rule of the bogarch is that uh you're gonna go into the bogarch face your fear and then there's gonna be one time and one time only the bogarch reappears for you to come back again yeah remember that for later anyway so yeah she faces her childhood trauma of her parents dying in the room above her while she is hiding and then her her bogarch appears and she comes back out again and gets immediately doused in water and the girl bosses are like your trauma is over now you're all better some people come out wounded others don't cool next arch here we find a hospital back in the village and holster's pops has the pox the replacement head mean girl is treating everyone with poison mean girl's like um girl bosses who i formerly avoided and didn't trust at all they can totally take care of this no problem they can heal everybody cool then heal them oh this is another rule of the bogarch is you can't have your mojo like doesn't work in the bogarch vision so remember that for later too mean girl i guess forgets this rule and decides to try to start healing people with the mojo that she can't have access to in the arches and holster's pops is like no worries good see any kid how's my kid by the way um will you stay with me until i die arch appears um uh yeah i'll definitely stay but first i have to leave bye guys there's a plague in my hometown la la la la la la la keep that to yourself we don't want to hear about your trauma next arch screaming red dress simp complimenting her no she's back covered in blood bath time again don't worry the blood isn't yours oh great now i'm not worried at all you did it you're one of us now no if being one of you means being selfish i'm suddenly not okay with that cut do mean girl packing cliff's like you can't go i need you no you'll actually be worthy of being a girl boss wait so mean girl is leaving because she's too good for being a girl boss or because being a girl boss is too good for her anyway she's riding away riding away and runs into simp where are you headed home i got ditched by the female that i was following around can i follow you around now instead arch appears uh oh this is still part of it but she doesn't care she is decided to stay cut back to the girl bosses waiting for her to come out and uh she's she's not coming out so dang mean girl's a goner and we blame red it is all her fault i never mind that the others co-signed this idea it's red's fault then we cut to the mouth of saaron with a crazy ass manicure then a scary lady with a pacifier walks around ominously selecting women then a lady with a basket on her head starts soap boxing about wanting their land back then pacifier chooses some more women basket cases like join our cult and all is forgiven then they pick on ipatch to go first uh he's unsurprisingly not into it those who won't swear the oaths will have the oaths sworn for them i don't think that's how oaths work oh you mean you're gonna kill him how is that swearing an oath for him anyway that convinced everyone else though so everybody kneels cut back to holster in bedlam with fake 2.0 i could see that your hair is red um so can everyone you keep it short to hide it but but i could see it if you was trying to hide it wouldn't you just like wear a hat so why'd you work so hard to come and see me i remember you from my shame fest nah that that wasn't me it was though so what do you want well i want to know how to control the mojo you give me some wine we can talk holster immediately commences winefinding heist meanwhile town crier is telling everyone about the quest for the horn thingy i really am getting the sense that this is important but uh good news holsters girlfriend is gonna find him with the wine heist and we cut to cliff and princess and they find that mean girl's not in her room but the principal is so mean girl went through exams this morning and it didn't go great we gotta get her back let me be really clear here mean girl is dead but uh your grief is your own so don't go burdening other people with that shit stiff upper lip oh man that really sucks leave me alone no i think i should keep bothering you get out cut to red with gambler we lost someone today that i actually really liked you can leave now um this is a trick you said you'd never leave your friends and that it was not gladrials fault that you were separated well go be with your friends then you're just letting me go mean girl died today because i didn't prep her and everyone's blaming me so i'm gonna blame you cut to red destroying mean girl's graduation ring this is your fault can't talk to you you're being hysterical fire your friend was the special one you're supposed to be the smart one if you were smart you'd realize that i actually really liked your friend and i was totally 100 on her side um it's not my fault that she let me down by not being ready for the exam that i thought she was ready for so this is her fault and also uh you're weak and suck you have no idea what i'm capable of and we cut to holster and his girlfriend that's some super high class party wine heist does it go some rich lady offers holster some horn hunt exposition but while holster was learning about how the horn hunt is all fake girlfriend got the wine cool i'm gonna go now wait but like the party i got what i needed bye holster runs to take the wine immediately to 2.0 and uh 2.0's answer to how you control it is lol you can't you're you're crazy how dare you and then acts crazy you know you're not the real 2.0 no you know what i've i've decided this was a bad idea you gotta get me out of here nope bye cut to gambler wandering around security headquarters is very tight finds cliff crying at a picturesque bench doesn't speak to her and goes back to his cell is this qualify a stock home syndrome uh he moves his wardrobe over so that barkeep can utilize his open door oh why are you not leaving i don't know where to go you for real right now okay well you can stay but i'm going and uh then he follows her then we cut to wifeless in a carriage with insurance man insurance guy says that uh wifeless is gonna be an honored guest but like not get his hopes up because it's actually gonna be treated quite badly there's something special about you huh i want to meet the monster who are you you know reveals he's the uber baddie but holister killed you obviously not then the wolves attack the caravan what do you want i'll be watching you vampire breakson helps wifeless break out follow that dog cut to barkeep casually saddling a horse with gambler no rush it's not like this is a prison break or anything brb and she goes to see red this was all part of a plan a plot a trick a trap a conspiracy okay but how did they know that gambler would be stupid enough to try to break through an interior wall instead of an exterior wall and then how did they know that once they let him out of his cell he'd be so aimless as to be like i will literally stay in my cell until barkeep goes somewhere and i will follow her wherever she goes like i feel like this plan has some flaws but anyway yeah the plan is to have barkeep take gambler somewhere and this will somehow mean that neither barkeep nor red are ever under not gladrile's power again cut to holster's girlfriend being kind of pissed at him for leaving her at the party alone cue makeup banging his mojo's going crazy though but she's like into it oh just kidding that was a dream and then holster wakes up and awake uses his mojo to set his own room on fire cut to cliff in the exam room trying to mojo her way through the arch to save a mean girl um that's not gonna work it also takes more than one to do it so help me no mean girl died for you so don't kill yourself trying to save her because that would mean it was a waste i can't leave her best i can do is to sleep over in the exam room then we cut to mean girl still in dreamland wifeless playing with her daughter gambler's looking fancy brings her a letter she ignores it simp has let his hair down literally mean girl tells him that it was a letter from cliff she and the other girl bosses are heading somewhere to fight something simp asks her if she has any regrets about choosing this life my only regret is you letting her hair down history repeats house gets attacked but mean girl kills the beasties but but not before all of her friends die and then mean girl uses her mojo in dreamland even though that's not supposed to be possible because she is special and then the arch appears for a second time which is not supposed to happen because she is special mean girl grabs her fake kid and is like you're coming with me through this arch and then surprise surprise the kid doesn't come through because she's not real and the cliff and princess are there to comfort her and and that's that's where we end the episode so yeah off to a smashing start what what did we learn we've learned holister is somewhere with someone and his big plan was to break into bedlam but that kind of didn't go so good so now we're back to square one and wifeless is is trekking um there's some bad people whose motivations remain unclear and mean girl is super super super special and cliff has a new bestie all right i think we're all caught up and ready for episode four