 J-T-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Pinch Me. You know, one secret of planning a successful meal, ladies and gentlemen, is to finish with a flourish with a really swell dessert. In fact, that's one reason so many people like Jell-O because it always winds up the meal in a grand style with a burst of color and a touch of rich lingering flavor. Take cherry Jell-O, for example. Nothing makes a prettier picture than a shimmering bright red mold of cherry Jell-O with golden sliced peaches glowing in its depths. And what a tangy, refreshing flavor, as tempting as the real ripe fruit itself, a solid satisfying goodness that you'll want to enjoy again and again. No doubt about it, a dessert like that certainly adds the final glowing glory to any meal. So when you plan dinner tomorrow, plan to finish with a flourish with Jell-O in any of Jell-O's six delicious flavors. Only just be sure of getting genuine Jell-O when you buy. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a treat. That was Pinch Me, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, and now, ladies and gentlemen, this being our first program of the new year, we bring you that holdover from 1939. Jack Benny! Well, Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, I didn't mean to interrupt you before, but I'm a little anxious for Phil to get here. He is not in the hall, is he? No, Jack. What's the trouble? Oh, no trouble, Don. That is, I hope not. You see, I made a wager with Phil on the Rose Bowl game last Monday, and he lost. He'll be so mad you'll go nuts. Oh, so you bet a couple of bucks on Southern California, huh? Couple of bucks, nothing. I bet $50 on SD. 50 smackers. Oh, pardon me. I must be in the wrong studio. Mary, come back here. There's nothing wrong with my risking $50. Of course, I was pretty sure that I'd win. I'll bet you wrote a suicide note just in case. I did nothing of the kind. Anyway, Don, just wait until Phil gets here. I doubt if he even shows up. Oh, he'll show up, Jack. Well, don't start ribbing him or anything, because I'll have enough time collecting as it is. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Did you enjoy the Rose Bowl game last Monday? I certainly did. I didn't see you, Dennis. Where were you sitting? Well, it was the darkest coincidence, Mr. Benny. You know, last Monday I was 20 years old. Yeah? I had seats right on the 20-yard line. Well, that is a coincidence. They weren't very good, though. I missed half the place. Oh, that's a shame. Too bad you weren't Jack's age. You could have seen everything. Mary, that may have been a brilliant remark, but it doesn't happen to Phil. I was sitting behind the goal post, way, way up in the 75th row. 75th row? Did you enjoy the game, Jack? Oh, it was all right till the last quarter. What happened there? The radio broke and the clouds rolled in. What a seat I had. Did you have any bets on the game, Mr. Benny? Just one, but I anticipate a bit of trouble collecting. You know, Dennis, I bet $50 with Phil Harris and waiting to see him when he has to pay up. Oh, what a bum sport. You know, he's the kind of a fellow that... Oh, quiet, Jack. Here he comes now. Oh, yeah. Watch me needle him. Well, hello, Gambler. How's the old Tennessee fan today? Fine, Jackson. And here's your 50 bucks. You deserve it, kid. You sure can pick them. Oh, boy, is he burned up. You know, Jack, I looked for you right after the game. I wanted to pay you then. Oh, sure, sure. I bet you did. I can just see you. Well, here you are, Jackson. Aren't you going to take the money? It's all yours, kid. Oh, boy, what a sore loser. See what I told you, fellas? What's going on here? If you don't want it, I'll put the dough back in my pocket. You see? Backing out, eh? I thought so. What are you talking about? I lost a bet and I want to pay off. Here's your 50 dollars. I won't take it. Why not? Because you're a welcher and you can't fool me. That's why. Jack, you mean to say that you're not going to take the money Phil's offering you? No, I'm not. That's why I want to knock the war right off the front page. Listen, Mary, I wouldn't accept a dime from a guy that takes the attitude he does. Well, Jack, are you crazy? The man offered you the money four times. But he could do it like a gentleman. He doesn't have to come in here and throw it on the floor. Who threw it on the floor? It's right here in my hand. You can't bluff me, Harris. Go ahead and sing, Dennis. I'll collect from that guy if I have to attach his salary. I've met small timers before. But gee, Mr. Benny, I saw Mr. Harris offer you the money. He wants you to take it. Sure he wants me to take it. You know why, don't you? Why? Because when I bend over to put it in my shoe, he'll kick me. I'm wise. I know all the tricks. Sing, Dennis. It's about time somebody exposed that guy. Tonight we met and I dream of you, yeah. With the wind and the rain in your head. The mist, how you sighed when we kissed. With the wind and the rain in your head. The rain was a song. The wind was a voice. The night looked dark and stormy. But how could my heart be cold with your twilight? We met with the wind and the rain. The mist, how you sighed. Harris sung by Dennis Day and accompanied by a deadbeat and his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, what do you mean deadbeat? Here's your $50. Take it. Don't rush me. I'll get it my own way. And now, folks, if we can get back to the spirit of our program. The Benny Slot Machine players will hit the jackpot with their version of Frank Lloyd's great production. That maritime epic, rulers of the sea. Now, I will play the part. Well, Jack, last week you made a big announcement that we were going to do Golden Boy tonight. Well, we were going to do Golden Boy, Don, but I've decided to let it go for a while. And I know why. Mary, that's not the reason. Anyway, boy. Why the sudden switch? Don, please. Now, I will play the part. Come on, Mary, tell us. Why doesn't Jack want to do Golden Boy? Well, Mary. Here's what happened. Oh. A week ago, Saturday night, Jack called me up and asked me if I'd like to go over to the wheelchair bowl for dinner, as Gladys had to work. She did not. Anyway, we got to the bowl about nine o'clock and had a table weighing back where Phil couldn't see us. And just as we were finishing dinner, I... Well, do you like the food, Mary? Yeah. She is crowded in here, isn't it? It sure is. Hey, waiter, bring me another cup of coffee, please. I don't know about that, Mr. Benny. Go get it. Yes, sir. Hmm. Gee whiz, Jack. Just because a second cup of coffee is free, you don't have to have five of them. Mary, it all averages up. How many people even take the second cup? Cigar, cigarettes, and novelties, cigarettes. Oh, girly, give me a cigar, will you please? Yes, sir. What kind? A couple of those Santa Fe Biltmore. By the way, what's that you've got on your tray there tied up in that pink ribbon? That's a lock of Mr. Harris' hair. Fifty cents. Oh. Well, I don't want it. I don't want to take it. This is the last one less, and we don't share him again for a month. No, just thanks. Just the same. Imagine that, Mary. Is that Phil Corny? Cigar, cigarettes, corn, get in the mood, folks. Selling locks of his hair now. Isn't that awful? Say, I wonder what time the floor show goes on. Oh, look, there's Mort Werner. Phil's announcers getting ready to introduce Phil. Oh, yeah. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Wilshire Bowl. And now, folks, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you our master of ceremonies and comedian. Oh, boy. That maiden's dream on the beam, Phil Harris. How does he rate a reception like that? Well, Phil's very popular here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Jello again, Mrs. Smiling. Phil Harris talking. Jello again. He got that from me. You remember me, folks, your favorite comedian and the star of that Paramount picture, Man of our Town. He got that from Rochester. Quiet. I want to hear this great comedian. Hey, Mort. Yes, Phil? Who is that lady I've seen you walking down the street with last night? That was my grandmother. Not bad. Oh, my goodness. And they're laughing yet. Say, Phil, I heard you were in the hospital last week. Yes, I was, Mort. Pretty sick, eh? No, pretty nurse. Hey, waiter, bring me another cup of coffee. I'm going to get even somehow. I'll have one with you. Pull up a chair, Phil. Mary. Mary, I can't understand why people laugh at Phil. His jokes aren't funny. They're happy because there's no cover charge. And that must be it. And now, folks, we'll be back in a little while with some sizzling dance music. See you later. Yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you. I'll go get some dance music. See you later. Yeah. Well, thank heaven. Say, Mary, let's pay the check and get out of here. OK, I'll match you this time. No. Now, tonight it's my treat. Come on, let's go. All right. Oh, Jack, look. Isn't that Barbara Stanwood sitting over there? Where? Right over there at the ringside table. Oh, yeah. She's with another couple. Yes. I don't know. I'm going over and say hello to her. Do you know Barbara Stanwood? Of course I know her. And say, Mary, I've got a great idea. As long as we're going to do Golden Boy next Sunday, wouldn't it be marvelous if I could get Barbara to play her original role? It sure would. I'm going right over and fix it. See you in a minute. You know, Barbara's a shame Bob had to work at the studio tonight. It certainly is, Barbara. Well, he's finishing a picture, and they're working overtime. You know, Lily, and I was telling Bob only this morning that he... Well, well. Hello, Barbara. Hello. As I was saying, William, I told Bob only this morning that it was his fault. Well, well. How are you, Barbara? I'm fine, thank you. Gee, it's sure a surprise running into you here at the Wilshire Bowl. Where's Bob? He's busy at the studio. I expect him later. Oh. Are you working here? No. No, no. I just dropped in for a cup of coffee. Are these folks relatives of yours? Oh, pardon me. I'm sorry. Mr. and Mrs. Kendall, this is Ben Burney. No. Well, that's Jack Burney. I mean, Benny. How do you do? How do you do? You know, Mr. Benny, I always listen to your program. Is Miss Livingston with you this evening? Yes, Mrs. Kendall. She's sitting right over there with a waiter. Well, Barbara, it's... It's sure a surprise seeing you here. Where's Bob tonight? I told you he was at the studio. Oh. Oh, that's right. Busy, busy, busy, huh? Yes. Busy, busy, busy. Well, it's sure a surprise. Yes, sir. Oh, look. The orcs are about to start a number. Would you like to dance, Barbara? Not that I know of. Oh. Oh, come on. All right, folks. Grab your partners. We're going to play a little number entitled The Sunshine's Bright in my old Kentucky home because there's a big hole in the roof. Oh, brother. Come on, Barbara. Let's dance. Come on. Oh, right. Wait till I get my shoe on. Oh, yes. Barbara, you danced divinely. Thank you. But you're going a little fast, aren't you? Just hang on, Papi. Oh, you're priceless. See, isn't this swell, Barbara? See, I just love dancing. Do you always puff like this? No. No, I'm just a little excited. You know, when I was a kid back in Warkegan, I used to... Oops, I tripped. Sorry, Barbara. Oh, that's all right. Somebody must have shoved me. Yeah. So crowded. But you know, as I was saying, Barbara, when I was a kid in Warkegan, I used to... I tripped again. Yeah. I don't know what's the matter with me tonight. I'm generally very graceful. In fact, I got medals for dancing. Well, take them off. They're tearing my dress. Oh, you have a marvelous sense of humor. See, Barbara, look at the way that guy leads an orchestra, how he loves to show off. I like his style very much. Hello, Phil. Well, well, Barbara, how are you, babe? I'm fine, thank you. Oh, by the way, Phil, this is Jack Benny. How do you do? You work for me. How do you do yet? See you later, corny. You know, I call him corny. What does he call you? He wouldn't dare. Come on, Barbara. I've got something very important I want to ask you. Let's dance some more. One, two. So, you see, Barbara, that would be a terrific novelty. What do you say? Well, I'd love to help you out, Jack, but do you think it would go over? Why, of course, it would go over. Just imagine you playing your original role in Golden Boy on my program with me playing opposite you. Doesn't that intrigue you? Doesn't that do something to you? Doesn't that thrill you? Keep mentioning things. Good. Then it's a deal. Now, let's see. When can we rehearse? Now, wait a minute. Now, how about rehearsing Tuesday afternoon at my house? Oh, oh, all right. Then it's a date. My house, three o'clock Tuesday. I must tell Mary. Oh, there she is dancing with the waiter. Oh, Mary! Mary! Well, anyway, Don, Jack made a date with Barbara for Tuesday afternoon at his house. Did she show up? Sure she did. Then why isn't Jack doing Golden Boy tonight? Well, what did I tell you what happened? Mary, forget it. I get over to Jack's house about a quarter, three, and you should have seen him. He was so excited. All he kept saying was, Rochester, have you picked the sandwiches? Rochester, have you done this? Have you done that? Rochester, have you picked the sandwiches? Yes, boss. Here they are. Hmm. What's in them? This is some of that Thanksgiving turkey, which we also serve for Christmas. Oh. That bird has made more farewell appearances than Harry Lauder. Well, I don't want to serve that to Miss Stanley. My goodness, have we got any peanut butter or something? Yes, sir. Well, make some of those. And Rochester, when Miss Stanley arrives, bring her right into the library here. Okay, boss. And oh yes, take that copy of Shakespeare down from the shelf, dust it off, open it to Hamlet, and put it on the table. It'll make an impression. Uh-huh. Gee, I hope I look all right. What do you think of my new suit, Rochester? The coast's beautiful, boss, but don't you think you ought to put your pants on? Oh, my goodness. Yeah, get them quick. Are you in there, Jack? Yeah, but don't come in for a minute, Mary. I'm waiting for something. Here's your pants, boss. Thanks. Say that's a mighty good-looking outfit. Well, I'm glad you like it. You ought to buy more brown suits, Mr. Benny. They flatter both of us. Rochester, don't you dare put this on until it starts to shine. Mary, you can come in now. What was going on, Jack? My pants. Now, Mary, just for today, I want you to do me a favor. Please lay off the wise crack, will you? Okay. Let's say, Jack, you ought to take that sign down from the front of your house. It looks awful. What sign? The one that says, Today in person, Barbara Stanwyck. What? Rochester, did you put that sign up in front of the house? Yeah, I'll teach the neighbors to hi-hat us. That's darn right. Leave it up. Now, Mary, when I'm rehearsing with Miss Stanwyck today, you can help me out by commenting on how good I am. What should I do? Well, when I finish a very dramatic line, I'll call out Bravo. No, it'll impress Barbara. Bravo? What does that mean? Never mind what it means. Just say Bravo. Why can't I say Pew? Don't you dare. Now, I want everything to be... That must... That must be her now. Answer the Rochester. I mean, answer the door, Rochester. Okay, boss. Oh, Jack, control yourself. I'm all right. Where's my cigar? In your ear. Oh, yeah. Now, remember, Mary. Good evening. May I take your coat? Thank you. Barbara, come right in. Well, this is a surprise. Surprise? Yes. I mean, that is welcome home. I mean, make yourself at home. I mean... You mean hello. That's it. Oh, by the way, Barbara, this is Mary Livingston. How do you do, Miss Livingston? I knew Bob Taylor before you did. Mary, don't mind her, Barbara. She's always like that. I know. She used to sell me hoes at the May Company. Well, that's a good one. Shut up! Serves you right. Well, let's go on with the rehearsal. Did you bring the script with you, Barbara? Yes, and as the play is very long, I've selected one scene which I think would be ideal for both of it. Oh, you mean it's equally important? Yes. Is that scene where Lorna plays with Joe to give up fighting and go back to his violin? I see. And I'm Joe. Unless you'd rather be Lorna. Oh, no. No. No, no. No, Joe is all right. I'm Joe. Hello, Joe. What do you know? I just got back. Mary, cut it out. Well, Barbara, I think we better get going with our rehearsal. All right. Now, here's your part. It's on page 93. Hmm. Oh, yes. Well, what a beautiful copy of Shakespeare you have here. Are you fond of his plays? Oh, yes. I often while away an hour or so perusing Hamlet, Macbeth. As you like it, the tempest. Bravo! Not yet. Oh, yes. I'm quite fond of Shakespeare. Well, that's that. Should I put it back on the shelf now, Barbara? Never mind, Rochester. Bring in some tea and sandwiches. Yes, sir. Now, all right, Barbara. I'm ready to rehearse. Let's take it from the top of the page here. The scene where I'm trying to get you out of the fight racket. You have the first line. Oh, yes. Joe, I'm going, Lorna. Don't read Joe. Just read the line. Oh, yes. Excuse me. I'm going, Lorna. Don't go, Joe. You must listen to me. When I first saw you, I didn't care what you did. I thought you were just a fighter. I didn't love you then. I didn't care whether you lived or died or what happened to you. I didn't care if I ever saw you again. I'm going, Lorna. No, Joe, you must listen to me. I love you now. You're part of me. Watching you become a fighter taught me something. I've seen you get hard shelled and tough. Or you shouldn't be in the ring. Joe, it's not for you. I'm going in your home. In your home with your violin. I'm going, Lorna. Oh, please, Joe. Please, Joe, if you love me, you'll listen to me. I know why you're doing this. You're bitter and callous and hard-boiled. But, Joe, don't you remember that night? You spoke of music and what it meant to you. How you loved your violin. You knew what was right then, how people should live. Oh, Joe, give a fighting. Please, please. I'm going, Lorna. Read that right. I'm going, Lorna. Well, I'm tired of saying it the same way. See, it gets monotonous. A fine part. Well, you've got a very dramatic speed coming up. It's the next line. Oh, yes. I didn't see it. Go ahead, Barbara. What do you say? Oh, Joe, will you give a fighting? Joe, you don't need the money. It isn't the money. I got plenty. Bravo. And how? Marry. I'm sorry, Barbara. I'll take it again. It isn't the money. I got plenty. Oh, Joe. Joe, you must give a fighting. Watch this, Mary. Give a fighting while you were the girl that liked champions. You were the... Please, Joe. Don't try to get even with me. Well, I made up my mind to win the lightweight crown. But you're hot in music, Joe. You know that. I can't play anymore. I got the hands of a fighter. They've been soaking brine for a year, and they're as hard as nails. They're good for only one thing now, slugging. Slugging my way to the fighting. I tell you, Lorna, it's a... Wait a minute, Jack. Wait a minute. Oh, that's awful. Why? What's the matter? It's supposed to be a fighter, not little Eva. Now, wait a minute, Barbara. I put a lot into that speech. I felt the part, and I was very emotional. I wasn't carried away. You keep out of it. And go get the tea. Please, right, Jack. Your performance wouldn't convince anybody. Now, Barbara, aren't you getting a little bit hasty? You know, I might not be as good as your act... as an actor as your husband. Gee whiz, we can't all be tailors. Your father was. Quiet. Now, give me a... Give me a chance, Barbara. I've never read this before. Let's go back to my last line. Oh, all right. I'll try it once more. My hands are good for only one thing now, slugging. Slugging my way to the title. No, no, Joe. You must give up fighting. You can't talk me out of it, Lorna. I'm going. Don't go. Oh, don't go. Joe, please don't go. Take me in your arms. Kiss me. My darling. How was that, Lorna? Oh, Joe. Joe, you must give up kissing. That's not what I meant. I mean, I can kiss better than that. I was a little nervous. Oh, Jack, it's no use. You're a nice fellow, but you're a comedian. We'd only make fools of ourselves if we tried to do this on your program. But, Barbara, it's only Tuesday. We got plenty of time to rehearse. Oh, no, believe me, Jack. Rehearsing won't help any. But, Barbara, if you'd only... Tea and sandwiches, folks. Tea and sandwiches. Tipping is un-American. Rochester, will you have a cup of tea, Barbara? No, thanks, Jack. I'll just run along. He's not that bad. He can at least walk. Mary. No kidding, Barbara. Have a cup of tea and we'll rehearse some more. No, thank you. Some other time, Jack. Oh, Barbara, please. I already announced we were going to do Golden Boy, and I was going to spring you as a surprise. Well, let's wait till spring. Things are brighter then. Well, that's the way you feel about it. Thanks. You're the same. You're welcome. Goodbye, Mary. Goodbye. So long, Jack. So long. Hey, Jack, you can take that sign down now. Well, there she goes. And I'm going too. Goodbye, slugger. I can't understand why I didn't play that scene right. Yeah, I know I can do it. Rochester, read Miss Stanley's part, will you? Start right here. Okay. No, Joe, you must listen to me. I made a mistake. I love you, Joe. You're a part of me. I can't play my violin anymore, Lorna. I got the hands of a fighter. They've been soaking Brian for a year in their heart as nails. They're good for only one thing now. Slugging. Slugging my way to the sky. So there you are, Don. That's the reason we're not going to do Golden Boy tonight. Well, that's a shame. It would have been a great show. Don't worry, Don. I've been soaking my hands and Brian all week. I'll get her yet. Play, Phil. One thing Jello has always been famous for, ladies and gentlemen, is the wide variety of ways it can be served, and desserts, salads, and many other grand gelatin treats. But did you know that you can also use Jello to make the finest fruit or vegetable relishes you ever tasted? For example, Jello cranberry relish, bright crimson cranberries, gleaming in a golden mold of clear lemon Jello, and marvelously easy to make. All you do is first dissolve one package of lemon Jello in one third cup of sugar and one pint of hot water, chill until slightly thickened, and fold in two teaspoons of horseradish and two cups of raw cranberries, which have been put through the food chopper. Then mold, and you have a delicious relish, a sprightly combination of delicate lemon Jello and the spicy tartness of juicy, ripe red cranberries. Serve with roasts or cold meat. It lends a tasty tingle to their enjoyment. So tomorrow, order some lemon Jello from your grocer and add an appetizing accent to dinner with Jello cranberry relish. Thank you, Barbara, and good night, everybody.